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Adili13: Paxil withdrawal - questions and concerns


Adili13

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apace41
On 7/10/2021 at 9:21 AM, Longroadhome said:

For what it’s worth Adili I think you were in a wave anyway so taking that sip is just coincidence. 

 

I think this is spot on, Longroad.

 

Adili, you (and all of us) tend to grip so tightly onto "things" we can tie our latest set of symptoms to that it leads us into "anticipatory anxiety."  You took a sip and said to yourself, "Uh-oh, alcohol is SO BAD for someone in withdrawal, I'm CERTAIN it will cause me to be symptomatic."  That thinking triggers fight or flight and the sympathetic nervous arousal that causes the release of cortisol into the body and you are off to the races with the spiral of fear and anxiety that triggers more and increasing symptoms.  

 

I have long believed that there is a very strong crossover relationship for many in withdrawal between the withdrawal and an anxiety disorder.  For some it will be 100% withdrawal and no anxiety disorder, for some it will be 100% anxiety and not about withdrawal, but for the vast majority the mix will fall somewhere along the spectrum.  The withdrawal will take its time to recover -- all you can do is really be patient, practice self-care and soothing, and learn to accept.  To the extent it is anxiety all of those same things become even more critical, but the recovery from that piece can happen a lot faster in many cases.  So, the learning to accept, float and not overreact to your symptoms, in the manner that Claire Weekes first described, is critical to starting to feel better with regard to the anxiety piece of this, and that will, in turn, allow you to accept and deal with the withdrawal piece more comfortably.

 

As always, just my two cents, but I think we in withdrawal have a tendency to blame everything 100% on withdrawal and I don't think, in most cases, that is accurate.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Longroadhome

@apace41

i often follow you though never commented on things you have wrote to others. You are always kind with helpful suggestions . 
I know it’s been particularly hard for you tapering and holding and I was wondering how things are going as you have held for a long time. Do you feel more stable after such a long hold? 
it seems that like myself you have always been symptomatic throughout holding and tapering. 
 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Moderator
apace41
On 7/11/2021 at 12:16 PM, Longroadhome said:

@apace41

i often follow you though never commented on things you have wrote to others. You are always kind with helpful suggestions . 
I know it’s been particularly hard for you tapering and holding and I was wondering how things are going as you have held for a long time. Do you feel more stable after such a long hold? 
it seems that like myself you have always been symptomatic throughout holding and tapering. 

 

Thanks for asking, LRH, and I usually wouldn't tie up Adili's thread to respond, but I'll do a short answer since you asked.  I have held for an extended period but have not seen a huge improvement -- some but not huge.  Given the several year process, I attribute the continuing symptoms (all of which are manageable, i.e., I live my life, hold down a challenging job, do all the things my family needs, etc., just without the joy I once had in my life for the most part) to either:

 

(i) having "tried" a bunch of things during my recovery to try to "accelerate" the recovery process, ranging from neurofeedback to supplements to heavy exercise, etc., and it is entirely possible that had I instead been passive and accepted where I was my recovery would have been smoother, or

 

(ii) the fact that some meaningful portion of my situation is NOT withdrawal and is instead unresolved issues that existed prior to starting medication.  I recognize that this is something of  "taboo" notion on tapering and withdrawal sites generally, as there is a strong desire to blame EVERYTHING on withdrawal and the general view is that any mental health issue is the result of medication withdrawal as opposed to an "underlying" condition.  That, of course, is way to simple a view as we are complex beings who have multifaceted issues based on myriad factors.  This is the basis for my earlier comment to Adili (now I feel better having posted on this thread 😁) that there is a spectrum that is part withdrawal and part underlying condition for most of us.  I'm beginning to think I'm further to the underlying condition side of things and am working hard on self-help approaches to deal with that.

 

There are things that have improved a lot and some that haven't but I remain, largely, a work deeply in progress.

 

Thanks again for asking and for your kind words.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Adili13

@apace41Thank you so much for reply! I think you’re right. It makes sense that those of us with a history of anxiety have the most challenging wd syndromes. Our capacity to imagine things and make symptoms worse with our own minds can’t be overstated. I think another huge factor is that symptoms do exist and that they are intense, making it even easier for an anxious mind to blame everything on wd and damage. Your response was thoughtful as always! Not sure if you remember, but you helped me out when I was at the peak of my suffering a couple years ago. I never forget what you told me in my PMs

 

Be well, 

 

Anthony 

 

 

 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1

 

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  • Moderator
apace41
1 hour ago, Adili13 said:

Not sure if you remember, but you helped me out when I was at the peak of my suffering a couple years ago. I never forget what you told me in my PMs

 

Of course, I remember, Anthony.  You've come a long way from then -- don't forget how far you've come.  It's easy to lose track of the arc of your recovery when you are in a hole, but if you can find the perspective to look back at the big picture you will see the overall graph is moving upwards.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Adili13

@apace41You’re so right. Things are just so clearly better than they were back then. They still suck, but they suck much less. It’s so easy to lose perspective and the reality of improvement. I’m sure you’ve helped countless people on here. You’re a really good person. Thanks for popping in again. Your words really carry a lot of weight. I hope you have a great day. Talk soon. 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1

 

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Anyone ever heard of essential oils throwing someone into a massive wave? 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1

 

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Hi Adili 

How are things ? Can’t help you with the essentIal oils I’m afraid as I have never tried them. 
Are you holding at the moment ? 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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@Longroadhomei put a lot of tea tree oil on myself and I’ve been in nonstop terror and akathisia for about a week now. I’m feeling really hopeless. Hope you’re ok ❤️

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1

 

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  • Mentor

Oh no @Adili13 How awful.

I am truly sorry you have to suffer with so much terror, that’s a scary place to be at.


 

41 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

I’m feeling really hopeless.

 

There is always hope, even at our lowest points it’s still there, never stop believing, I believe in you🙏

You are in my prayers my

friend and a big hug is sent your way 💕

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 

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@Adili13

i think you’re still in a wave. 
Just take each day minute by minute hour by hour it will get better it always does. As you have recently said you feel so much better than at the beginning of this so hold onto that. 
When in a wave we forget the progress we have made. But you have made progress and there’s no reason this will not continue . A wave 🌊 means more healing is taking place. 
 

im holding at the moment letting things settle as I have lots going on . I’m at my mother in laws helping her as she’s had a bad fall. 
it feels good being able to help. 
 

Keep going one day this will be over. You’re heading in the right direction. 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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