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Adili13

Adili13: Paxil withdrawal - questions and concerns

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Adili13

Hey guys,

 

seems like withdrawal is easing up a tiny bit. We’ll see how the next few weeks go.

 

my newest spiral is thinking everything I’ve done is irreversible because I started on ssris so young at 18.

 

Was wondering how young people that have been on long term deal with this fear and see hope/know eventually they will achieve progress/a better life.

 

please let me know if you have any examples/other members like this.  

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ChessieCat

It might be a good idea to see a counsellor to learn life coping skills.  You don't need to tell them that you are coming off your drug. 

 

Just be aware that not many medical professionals including counsellors understand tapering and withdrawals.  Seeing a counseller can be a good idea and telling them that you want to learn life coping skills.  You may have difficulty finding someone who understands withdrawal.  I would urge caution about opening up about withdrawal.  They may end up labelling you and when you talk about your issues they will be relating it (probably unconsciously) to you reducing your drug and blame any issues on you having  a mental illness or relapse and not taking the "therapeutic dose", which by the way is an arbitrary term that the pharmaceutical companies use and the term they teach the doctors etc.  SA prefers to use "lowest effective dose".

 

 

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Adili13
Posted (edited)

Hey Chessie!

 

im actually in therapy for ocd and go to group therapy once a week. They all know about my taper and are very supportive. In fact, my psychologist who is an anxiety PhD is very against meds for anxiety and thinks they don’t work in the long run.

 

i think a big part of my problem isn’t doubting my recovery/becoming obsessed with negative testamonials on this forum and spiralling.

 

the funny thing is, I actually have a lot of coping skills/new techniques to deal witg anxiety. It’s just this doom feeling like ****, I’ve been on these since 18 and I’m 29 now, maybe I’m wrecked, thoughts kick in.

 

i know what my therapist would say, he’d say, I’m sure you’ll recover in time you’re young and healthy. The best thing you can do is stop obsessing and do other things, diversions diversions, you can’t reason with anxiety/ocd. Or something like that. I’ll just try focus on new things. The threat of permanent brain damage just feels so real and always comes back when I don’t feel 100 percent

 

thanks chess 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
reworded obscenity

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Adili13

Oops, am I not supposed to curse? My bad, I didn’t know 

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ChessieCat
12 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

i think a big part of my problem isn’t doubting my recovery/becoming obsessed with negative testamonials on this forum and spiralling.

 

I suggest staying away from reading members' Intro topics.  They are here and posting because they are experiencing difficulties so they will contain triggering content.

 

Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal

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Adili13

I’ve suspected that for a little while now. Hearing it from a mod puts it into perspective even more. I’ll definitely try to stop. 

 

thanks  chessie 

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ChessieCat
Just now, ChessieCat said:

they will contain triggering content.

 

Even the mods find some posts/members' situations triggering and have to limit their exposure to them or not read those particular members' topics/posts by those members at all.  The different mods have different drug and life experiences and different things can be detrimental to their own healing.

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Adili13

Dang, that makes a lot of sense. I was actually having a prettt food day until I read something that said, “we’ve found people that start young and are on for long periods of time have the hardest time. This could explain why you’ve struggled so much.” I was absolutely triggered by this and it was from reading someone else’s story and how little they’ve recovered over the years. I really need to stop doing this as it is an impediment to healing. In the past year I’ve gone from 37.5 to 18 mg and actually do feel like I’ve made some progress. I need to stop comparing myself to others and obsessing over others stories. I didn’t really consider this as a big source of my issues until you made it clear. 

 

Figuring out new things that could be disrupting my healing and trying to weed them out is a good thing, not a bad thing. 

 

Thanks again Chessie!! 

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ChessieCat

You're very welcome.  I'm pleased that is it helpful.

 

Another thing that I find helpful is not to compare how I feel now to how I felt at my best, but to compare myself now to how I felt at my worst.

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Adili13

Great point. I’ll try to keep that in mind

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Adili13

I have a question about crossovers. So, I’ve only been on Paxil for a little over a year now (ssris ten years) but feel that lexapro was easier to taper whenever i made cuts in the past. Would it be wise to go back to lexapro from Paxil? Do some kind of crossover? Or should I just stick with the Paxil taper? FYI, having a couple rough days. 

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Centime

I’m in the same boat as you—down to 18 mg. of Paxil (from a high of 60 mg.) I’ve also taken Lamictal in the past, and many other psych drugs, but Paxil is the only one I’ve had trouble getting off. I’ve heard of people switching to Prozac from Paxil because the withdrawal is supposedly easier due to the half-life difference, but I’ve decided to stick with the Paxil taper just to keep it simple and not introduce other factors that would make it harder to tell why I’m feeling what I’m feeling. The main thing is to give our brains a chance to heal and rebuild, and that takes time. Way more time than we’d like, but the evidence seems to say that the healing DOES take place. 

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Adili13

Whoa! I guess we are dose buddies! That’s great advice, I’ll stick with the poison I know I guess. Thanks for taking time out of your day to give me such a great response. We will heal! Funny, I took lamictal for a year too. We’ve got similar histories it seems 

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Adili13

Hey everyone,

 

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I’ve been complaining about withdrawal too much. I know she understood how hard it is, I think she just got overwhelmed by some of my suicidal thoughts at times and really bad days.

 

Im upset but I think it was for the best. Now I can focus on my healing without feeling like I’m bringing someone down. Still, I’m very sad over the whole thing. Any support is much needed.

 

anthony 

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FarmGirlWorks

Hey, that is rough but you seem to have a good perspective on it. I struggle too with having a romantic liaison while going thru this. Hang in there, you are doing great.

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Adili13

Thanks a lot farmgirl. I’m really depressed today. I wasn’t doing great for a while so I decided I needed some time to rest/take off work while i heal. I think this is what really ended the relationship. 

 

For the time being, I’ve move back in witg my parents to be around people that love me and care about me. Any extra support on this site would really be appreciated. Under no circumstances do I wanna get back on my full dose. I know this is LIFE and I don’t have to medicate myself to feel better. I need to just live with it and feel what I’m feeling. It’s just very painful right now. 

 

Anthony

 

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Adili13

hey guys,

 

so, I have a question about tapering and dealing with psychiatrists. My psychiatrist is becoming more and more micro-managey with my taper. I use a compounding pharmacy. He thinks bc he’s one of the only psychiatrists around helping people get off meds that his knowledge is amazing. 

 

Ive told him multiple times I don’t want to alternate doses bc I trust SA, and I think they know what they’re talking about. No matter what, he insists I do this and is becoming increasingly difficult to work with and communicate with. 

 

I was thinking of simply going back to my old psychiatrist. Telling him I just wanna take 20 mg paroxotine, and continuing the taper on my own without his knowledge. What are your thoughts on this? Would doing this be less accurate with the liquid solution? 

 

Thanks, 

 

anthony 

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Carmie

Hi Anthony,

 

Yes, not a good idea to let the psychiatrist taper you according to their schedule, they know hardly anything about withdrawals. Alternating doses is a really bad idea.  I would definitely change your psychiatrist. Did you know that ordinary doctors can also give you scripts for psychiatric medication. It doesn’t have to be a psychiatrist. 

 

A lot of people just go to the psychiatrist to get a prescription, and then they just do the tapering themselves. My psychiatrist knows I’m tapering the 25mg tablet and leaves me to it. All I need from him is the script, but I could just go to a general practitioner if I needed a script. I water titrate my medication. 

 

Please continue to taper slowly💚

 

 

Edited by Carmie
Removed white space

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ChessieCat

It sounds like he is being very controlling.

 

You might find it helpful to write a script and rehearse what you are going to say.  Be calm, gentle but assertive.  You are the customer, it is your body.  Use words like I'd like to try this, or I'd prefer to do it this way.  If a suggestion is made that you don't want to follow, say I'd like to think about it before making a decision.

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?


What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

The other options:  You can make a liquid from the tablets or you could get prescription liquid.  See Post #1 of this topic:

 

Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine)

 

If you do change over to liquid it is best to do a crossover, 3 to 7 days of each of these combinations:  3/4 + 1/4, 1/2 + 1/2, 1/4 + 3/4.

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Adili13

Thanks for the advice guys. I’m actually taking 18 mg of liquid right now from a compounding pharmacy. Only thing is, it’s like every time I want to make a dose change or have my own idea of how slowly I’d like to do this, it’s a big debate with him. It’s getting to the point where I think I’d rather just turn the pills into capsules liquid, and do it on my own because he’s getting really annoying. Chessie, switching from liquid made by pharmacy to my own liquid shouldn’t be much of an issue, should it? 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
made correction for member

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ChessieCat

There may be a difference in the rate the drug acts in your body.  If it was me I'd be doing a cross over.

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Adili13

Took 300 mg a ashwaghanda on and empty stomach and am soooooo tired. Seemed to help with anxiety, but can’t walk around like a zombie. Maybe I’ll try much less tomorrow, see how that works. 

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Adili13

Wondering if anyone on here has dealt with a breakup while tapering? I feel like my depression has returned do to it and I’m feeling pretty low. 

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Adili13

Having trouble and really need help from anyone. 

 

I feel like I’m headed towards a total relapse in depression due to my girlfriend breaking up with me. Having trouble getting out of bed, took time off work, ridiculously anxious in the mornings. It’s  been a couple of weeks and I’m really scared.

 

ive even contemplated going to my psychiatrist to see if he could add something to take the edge off. If anyone felt like they nearly completely relapsed during taper due to circumstances plz help. 

 

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PerAsperaAdAstra

Keep hanging in there Adili13! A person not tapering off Paxil would have a hard time after a breakup. It's only natural to encounter grief and feelings of despair and depression. Your life has definitely changed abruptly now. The side effects of tapering off of Paxil make your time dealing with it so much more difficult. 

 

You're going through a lot and it takes some time for this to settle down. I hope you will give yourself the time to deal with your feelings. I'm sure you will get better. You got this!

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Adili13

Thanks for responding Per. 

 

I reallt appreciate your words. You’ve helped me today. I’ve worked too hard tapering to go back up on meds or to add meds. Grieving is natural and shouldn’t be seen as mental illness or something to fix with a pill. 

 

I might have to hold for for a long time after this to deal with the breakup, but I’m determined to not change my dose. 

 

I can do this.

 

thank you so much, 

 

sending peace and love 

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PerAsperaAdAstra

No problem at all! Paxil is quite a beast to slay in itself. And losing the person you've loved for so long must be a terrible loss. I think it must be equally stressful as changing jobs or something similar. Your situation would have me reeling too!

 

Just remember you're going through a lot now. It's not more than normal to feel horrible now. No antidepressant could mitigate all of your feelings now. But time heals all wounds and you will come out of this stronger!

 

Peace, love, and a big hug!

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Adili13

Thank you so much. You’re a great person and a great motivator. It always blows me away how many great people are on this site. I think sensitive, emotionally intelligent, empathetic people get roped into taking antidepressants more than others do. Happy I’m in such good company!! 

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Adili13

And a big hug to you!!! 

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PerAsperaAdAstra

Thanks Adili13! How are you doing today?

 

But I definitely think you're right about the sensitivity! Probably we've all had a fair share of things when we were young and didn't have the proper utilities to deal with them. But gladly we now have likeminded spirits who can help one another to deal with things in the best possible way. And a lot of compassion stems from having been through hell together. :).

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Adili13

I’m having a rough day again. Woke up in a panic and very depressed. It scares me bc it doesn’t really feel related to withdrawal, tho, I’m sure my drop two months ago isn’t helping. I’m thinking about seeing a psychiatrist to add something just bc of how bad I feel even tho I know it’s the wrong choice. 

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PerAsperaAdAstra

I think the drop might have made your CNS sensitive. But I can also understand why panic and depression may be such a big thing in your life now since you probably are having scary thoughts about having to do things all alone again after your breakup. But with some time you'll realise you're able to do it by yourself since you know your strong!

 

Perhaps the psychiatrist will say useful things which you can use in your decision how to go about this challenging period. I do hope you will take some time to take a nuanced decision.

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eymen23

 

Adili,

 

It's natural to feel anxious or depressed after a break-up. I remember it took me a good 6 months to 'feel myself' after breaking up with an old girlfriend, long before I had any mental health diagnosis or got into the world of SSRIs. Perhaps every time you think of asking for another medication to try and take the edge off, you can re-read this extract I took from your first post in this thread.

 

On ‎9‎/‎8‎/‎2018 at 10:11 PM, Adili13 said:

For a year I messed around trying to find the right med and trying to find the right combo. I now realize meds were a problem all along and all I want is to feel normal and be off of them.

 

If meds have been a problem all along, it doesn't make much sense to add another one and find yourself regretting it later down the line. I know how hard it is to be stuck between a rock and a hard place, but getting onto these drugs can be like borrowing money from a loan shark, any temporary short-term relief can be replaced with a much longer term disadvantage (interest, or in this case withdrawal).

 

Please try to hang in there and use non-drug coping techniques to the best of your ability, such as mindfulness, deep breathing, CBT, sleep hygiene, low intensity exercise etc.

 

Stay strong :)

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Adili13

Thanks to both of you guys. I talked to my psychiatrist and I am not doing anything with meds yet. I know if I did I’d just see it as a failure. I haven’t had panicky feelings like this in years and I know they are from the relationship ending. 

 

I have to let myself feel these feelings and understand that are happening for a legitimate reason. Thank you guys for the encouragement I truly appreciate it.

 

ive been in three long term relationships but this was the first one that didn’t end on my terms. I think that’s why it’s affecting me negatively. 

 

I still believe meds aren’t the answer and know they don’t really work. I just kind of search for quick fixes when I get panicky. I guess that’s what got me into this predicament in the first place though. 

 

CBT, mindfulness, and exercise it is! 

 

 

Again,

 

thanks a lot guys 

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Adili13

Hey guys,

 

So, a bit of an update. 

 

I took a month off work bc I just felt like I couldn’t cope with the breakup and withdrawal( thank god my company has a good leave policy).

 

i still feel very rocky and am going to take another month in a week or so. I’m feeling very discouraged over how much this breakup has affected me. Is it possible that a stressful enough even can totally screw up all the progress I’ve made in the pad year? I’m just hoping my nervous system settles. I felt like i was about to stabilize before this happened and now I feel worse off than I have in a while. 

 

Cortisol mornings, increased dissociation, panic, etc etc. I just want to get to where I was pre-breakup so I can start working again. It wasn’t great then, but certainly not even close to this bad. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated. 

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Adili13

Anyone out there? 

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