marshmalloween: possible Prozac withdrawal - any advice appreciated

[marshmalloween]

Hi, I'm 22 and I have aspergers, I'm looking for any advice people can give me! I was put on Prozac 20mg at the age of 17 for anxiety and depression. Around Christmas 2017 I decided to stop CT, much to my regret now. I don't know if what I felt in the following months was withdrawal, it was mostly returning depression and anxiety, with one night of a burning headache which terrified me at the time and some sleep paralysis. I wasn't sleeping well either but if I'm honest, I wasn't exactly trying to, student life had me quite nocturnal.  Likely it was some withdrawal but I don't think it was long term.

 

Either way, I returned to my gp and she suggested I try reinstate at 20mg. I did this for two weeks but my startup side effects at the time were horrible. At the time I believed I was only reinstating to curb a withdrawal and going through the startup side effects, I didn't believe what I had experienced before was withdrawal, as this was ten times worse. I called my gp and they said I could stop it CT if I wished, I did ask about tapering but as I was staying with my mum, far from my GP, I was unable to get a lower dose of Prozac. So I stopped the meds believing I would go back to how I felt before, a little depressed and anxious, but nothing unmanageable without some lifestyle changes. 

 

This is when things started going downhill, I'm now anxious and ruminating all the time, begun getting intrusive thoughts which terrified me, the anxiety from those caused derealisation, that turned into a fear of hallucinating/ generally losing control. I've had a burning head sensation ever since those two weeks, albeit on and off and some paresthesia in the face. I've learnt not to drink coffee or alcohol as it makes my anxiety and the burning sensation 10x worse. 

 

2 months later, I've reinstated 10mg of Prozac and am currently 5 days into that. My GP wants to go up to 20mg but I'm not sure, she is an understanding doctor though so if I told her I wanted to stay at 10 I don't think she'd argue. So far I have all the common startup side effects, little appetite, nausea and dizziness. My anxiety isn't great but considering how bad it's been could be worse. I'm managing to sleep 7-8 hours a night luckily, but I do wake in the morning full of adrenaline and anxiety. I've applied for therapy and am currently on a three month waiting list for CBT. I think my plan is to allow that into my system and maybe once I'm stabilised, if the symptoms are not too bad stay on for another two years. It's not ideal but I really need to finish university, I've had to take this year out because I was so unable to concentrate I couldn't hand in some essays towards my final year but they are allowing me to return if I get them in before next year's end.  At the end of university, if I feel I'm in a place where I'm comfortable, I will start to taper, a long and slow one this time.

 

If you have any advice for me that would be really helpful, I'm struggling to come to terms that this may be a long term withdrawal, I'm terrified because I still have to make a life for myself, 22 is a terrifying time for anyone let alone with possible protracted withdrawal on top. I've moved back to my parents who are thankfully supportive but I'm worried I'm going to get stuck here for the rest of my life.

 

thanks to anyone who read all of that, it would mean a lot just for any words on the situation, hope you are all doing well today!

[marshmalloween]

I guess this could be called a bump but also I'd really like help 

 

I'm on day 7 of the 10mg prozac, if I'm honest I'm really struggling, suicidal thoughts are very constant today. I tried going for a walk but I'm now sitting in the park crying writing this haha. Should I continue on the 10mg? If not what should I do, I'm terrified the damage another cold turkey will do, or should I wait it out, see if it will stabilise my system? Im getting nausea, derealisation, crying spells, a lot of anxiety, when I wake up it's like my brain is not even mine with random thoughts popping in and out, but when I do get out of the half awake state I have so much adrenaline, even throwing up this morning. My anxiety is high but not panic attack state just constant, I just don't feel like me anymore. Harm OCD which I've never dealt with before has become a huge problem, although today it seems it's been quitened by suicidal thoughts instead. I'm so afraid of myself. I get constant intrusive images of me losing my mind, not being in control of myself anymore. I'm trying my best to manage this, going for walks and such but it's really hard at the moment. Do the mods have any suggestions for me?

 

Hope everyone is having better days today and that these circumstances are treating you as kindly as they can. Big love and support to people that have been dealing with this for years, you are so strong.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, marshmalloween.

 

Have your symptoms gotten worse since you started 10mg Prozac a week ago? When did the suicidal thoughts start?

 

Please remember these are only thoughts, you do not have to act on them.

 

How is your sleep doing? Have withdrawal symptoms reduced since you started 10mg Prozac a week ago?

 

Quite frequently, going on and off psychiatric drugs, and big shocks to the nervous system such as cold turkey, adverse reactions, and withdrawal symptoms, will make your nervous system hypersensitive to drugs and sometimes supplements and foods. It's possible that 10mg Prozac is too strong for you.

[marshmalloween]

Hi Alto, thanks for replying, I think what you do here at this website is incredible and your story is even more remarkable, I look up to you a lot!

 

The suicidal thoughts started a little bit yesterday, mostly as an intrusive thought, but I latched to it a bit because I was in such a rough state. They have calmed now and I'm feeling much more stable. I go for nightly walks with my sister and she listens to me talk about anything on my mind, this helps, I just spiral a bit in the day because I'm home alone till everyone gets back from work. The evening is definitely much calmer for me.

 

In terms of withdrawal symptoms I'm not sure if they are worse, my burning headache is at the same level and possibly even not as constant. My paresthesia (I can never remember this word lol) is almost gone I think, or barely noticeable. Would I still expect startup side effects reinstating at this point? I assumed this is what the majority of the problem is, increased anxiety, vivid dreams, dizziness, no appetite and nausea are there, but I thought this would happen starting the drug again? Before starting I didn't have most of these but I did have the odd dizzy spell. I'm having trouble processing what people are saying a bit but I've often struggled with this with my aspergers and I'm assuming the light cog fog and anxiety are just making this a bit harder. I'm still struggling with derealisation but that was there before the drugs and has not changed besides in regards to my stress/anxiety levels.

 

Im reading self help books about intrusive thoughts and slowly improving my ability to deal with them, I have no desire at all to act on them as they make my feel ill, but it is still hard to cope with them, my upcoming cbt will focus on this though and I'll hopefully learn strategies to not obsess as much!

 

My sleep isn't too bad atall, 7-8 hours per night still, it's not great restful sleep but happy to have it rather than none atall. I have been waking increasingly earlier as the course goes on, but no earlier than 6:30 so far so I can't complain, the worst part is waking up in panic with an intense adrenaline rush.

 

I think I feel able to get through another week at the 10mg, it's not easy but doable, I feel a lot calmer now it's evening as I do most days, I know for sure though that I won't be asking my gp for the increase to 20mg! I've also bought Self Help for your nerves by Dr Weekes, hoping this will give me helpful things to read to get me out of my head when I'm on my own.

 

Sorry if this is a very long answer, too much time to think results in too much time to spout about myself haha, thankyou for replying and I hope you're having a nice day!