Allreadygone: need help

[Allreadygone]

Last couple days I’ve fallen back I into a wave,may be due to integrating into small social events,sports to soon or just the way the brain try’s to heal.All my symtoms are back like knot in stomach,unable to be still mentally fatigued , depression,anxiety, anhedonia,worsening DP/DR.I have stayed at current doses unless I accidentally forgot one that has stayed same. @AltostrataI’m gonna keep my journal and let u know as I can barely function at work 

[Allreadygone]

Not sure where 

[Altostrata]

Did you forget to take any doses?

 

As it's holiday season, have you drunk any alcohol?

[Allreadygone]

I may have on accident but don’t think so.I don’t drink or smoke @AltostrataI have read that we can have waves and windows when trying to stabilize after being severly destabilized until the CNS makes enuff adjustments.

[Altostrata]

Look, you just had a lengthy course of antibiotics, they can be rough on your nervous system, you may need some rest now, don't push yourself.

[Allreadygone]

I did have bouts of vertigo and dizziness before my symtoms came back and usually following the physical stuff my CNS is headed for destabilization.@Altostrata ya I noticed After I tried to go to my sons games I was getting upset,I definitely need a long while before I do any thing other than make it thru work as that is tuff enuff.

[Carmie]

Hi Allreadygone, 

 

Thanks for your message. Unfortunately, it is extremely hard to describe akathisia. No words can really describe it, it is like being tortured. I saw on Rosetta’s thread someone was asking her too, and she too couldn’t describe it either. It’s like crawling out of your skin, if it’s really bad I feel like I’m being electrocuted. Again, though, words can’t describe it, but one certainly does get SI with it. 

 

When I’ve had it bad I just kept distracting myself, even though it is extremely hard to settle. I watched a ton of DVDs n I used to crochet blankets n spend lots of time on my iPad playing Words With Friends and editing photos. It was really hard, and my aim every day was just to make it to the end of the day. 

 

I still get it but I don’t have it all the time. If I taper too fast or don’t hold long enough it comes on with a vengeance so it’s important to taper slow n steady. Even when I taper slowly I can still get it, but it’s not quite as intense, and I don’t get it all the time.

 

I just take each moment as it comes and distract myself from whatever withdrawal symptoms I’m going through. Hope you’ve been able to find distractions to continue to help you to cope.

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Allreadygone]

Thx for answering this was very helpfull,I got it from to fast taper and missed doses.I had a 3 week light window last month does it heal in waves and windows for u?it must be what I have.No control over it at all as u said comes on with vengeance.I get tight  knot in stomach,inner restlessness and bad thoughts including SI which I never had prior to meds that just doesn’t let up till it wants.i try to run and work hard but not sure if it’s better to rest CNS and try to sit with it and deep breath throughout day.Im goin to a nutopath that has seemed to help relax CNS a lil.When it subsides for u does it all get less intense or parts at a time?Does it reach a pinnacle then slowly ease.Thx so much for your help!Hugs as well,didn’t mean to put that quote in sorry @Carmie I also. Get twitches all over especially in eye when it comes on and is at high level 

[Carmie]

Hi again Allreadygone, 

 

I think it might be a good idea if you buy yourself a Monday to Friday pill box so that you don’t miss your doses. It’s easily done in withdrawals because our brains are all over the place. 

 

Again, as regards akathisia, there are no real answers, it’s all over the place. Nothing is linear about withdrawals. 

 

Take care💚

 

 

 

 

[Allreadygone]

Ok I have a pill box but as u said sometimes we forget due to symtoms.thx for reply @Carmie

[Allreadygone]

Hi @AltostrataIs it ok to start posting my symtoms again while I’m in another tuff spot?May try to wait it out but I may need to make a cut on the lamictal but I’m not doin anything without ur consult.

[Allreadygone]

I’m thinkin lamictal still may be activating at this dose since I lowered the Effexor this last yr maybe I only need smaller dose of lam.It definitely made me manic with akathesia like symtoms when I updosed back in August.With pm dose I feel like I don’t need sleep kinda Wired inner restless @AltostrataIt took the edge off of the Akathesia SI I had from antipsychotics 8yrs ago but now I’m at lower doses of Effexor and rem.Just my thoughts not in a hurry to make any moves 

[Altostrata]

Yes, Alreadygone, I do need to see your symptom pattern to understand what you're talking about.

 

Do you find the holidays stressful? Have you been overdoing any kind of celebrating? Have you separated your drug-induced symptoms from your habit of making yourself anxious?

[Allreadygone]

Ok I ll start posting,I can’t be around my own kids much less celebrate.after a week of my symtoms slowly returning I had more SI thoughts all day 23/24th.I Did have 3weeks of less symtoms actually ate and went in public but something ramped up @Altostrata I know u mentioned lamictal can be activating if dose to high as I feel wired at night now since taking it later 

[Allreadygone]

On 11/4/2018 at 10:19 AM, Altostrata said:

Much better. Thank you for the line breaks. Continue to move 12.5mg Lamictal later in the day.

 

You were getting an adverse reaction from taking 37.5mg Lamictal in the morning. Lamotrigine often works better in smaller dosages.

This leads me to believe why symtoms May have returned as well.when this started after having bad wds from Effexor and possibly missing 6.5 for a week I updosed lam 6.5 for 2/3 weeks and the Akathesia SI stuff kicked in. @Altostrata

[Allreadygone]

On 11/4/2018 at 10:19 AM, Altostrata said:

6

6am-25lam,31.25effexor,6linsinopril

630-3work,forced clam chowder 

3-5walked at park

6-lam 12.5

6-10 studying SA and beyond meds,can’t watch Tv or parent.forced quesadilla 

10-7.5 remeron

bad wave on 23/24th and since I’ve been scared or that level returning.I have had some moments of less Dp and being present but most of the time I have twitches in eye and chest usually a sign my CNS is goin thru stuff as bad follows.

knot in stomach,DP,Fear,Mental Akathisia with SI off and on,anhedonia,no control of thoughts at all.Im still breathing .mindfullness, walking,tryin to work&disrtact.Ive seen people say with AKathesia it takes time but the SI Tgat comes with it frightening.pls lmk your thoughts @Altostrata These symtoms all at 25% for like 3weeks until tgey ramped up again.wierd because the lam helped with SI 7yrs ago a lil bit after zyprexa gave me SI akathesia.now after my wd issues and lam updose it came back.

[wantrelief]

I am so sorry you are struggling, Allready.  It sounds like you are doing what you can and even working which is amazing.  I am glad you have had some moments of less DP and feeling more present.....it is good to even have those moments although I know it doesn't feel that way.  I keep repeating to myself that everything is temporary and changes in time. I so hope you get some relief soon.  

[Allreadygone]

Thx so much for writing @wantrelief I only make it thru work so I don’t lose my job as pAinfull as it is. talking to my wife about what to do.Either try to wait these horrible waves out or try to cut the lamictal a lil bit.The Akathsia feeling for me is all mental with SI aside from twitching.Seems very chemical as I never had SI before Psych drugs.How is your taper goin?

[wantrelief]

Well, working is still amazing in my book!  I am glad you can talk to your wife about what is going on and talk about what to do.  I never had SI either before psych drugs....which as difficult as it is to have that symptom is reassuring that it isn't us but the drugs.  You are so sweet to ask after my taper with all you are going through.  I am holding now and the last cut seemed to have gone well, thankfully.  You are doing really well coping with all of this, Allready.  Stay strong.

[Allreadygone]

Thx for the support @wantreliefnot sure How this will end but it’s nice to see u are improving with your taper.Im just tryin to survive each moment in hopes I can get another brief window as these waves are killing me.Tuff to have 0control over our minds,and no medical guidance to get bette only guessing.Peace and healing to U!

[Allreadygone]

On 11/4/2018 at 10:19 AM, Altostrata said:

Much better. Thank you for the line breaks. Continue to move 12.5mg Lamictal later in the day.

 

You were getting an adverse reaction from taking 37.5mg Lamictal in the morning. Lamotrigine often works better in smaller dosages.

Hi @Altostrata sorry I havnt posted symtoms I have been having SI,intrusive thoughts,Dp very dark can’t form any other response other than despair,most of the last week all day,my wife called the psychiatrist.i have been using all my tools but it’s chemical and does little.i tried to lower lamictal 4mgs but after 3 days I didn’t sleep a solid hour.any thoughts I have I need your help.They say propranolol can help this situation. But I’m scared of more drugs.dudnt mean to put quote in.im desperate as I have been having SI last 4months on and off but it’s not backin off 

[Allreadygone]

I’m lookin into a compounding place to go real slow if u think it will save my life @Altostrata

[Altostrata]

Please include ALL YOUR DRUGS and their dosages in your daily symptom notes. I don't see Lamictal in your notes.

 

If you've accidentally skipped any doses, or taken them off schedule, that can cause waves of symptoms.

 

We regularly recommend custom compounded dosages for tapering. For many drugs, you can also make your own. I don't know if this will save your life, but it will enable you to taper gradually.

 

I need to see several days of your daily notes. This may indicate whether your drugs are causing symptoms. Linosiprol and lamotrigine can cause "depression."

[Allreadygone]

Thx for quick response @AltostrataI’m still taking the lamictal 12hrs apart as u suggested.the rest stayed same I only made 1 cut to lamictal 4mgs and on 4thday updosed as I didn’t sleep an hour.i will put my symtom notes tonite.i think I’m gonna do 1mg compounded on lamictal are u ok with that 

[Allreadygone]

3am-woke laid in bed till 545

545-6mg linsinopril,25 Lamictal,Effexor 31.25

6-12 work anxious,DP,Inner restlessness,twitches,knot in stomach,Very dark intrusive SI thoughts that usually would remit thru the day staying longer.I can barely function at work.

1-3 forced clam chowder no appetite for couple weeks usually I can eat at night at least.

3-5 walked at park the IThoughts and SI lowered enuff to notice but still there.

6 lam 12.5 

6-8 symtoms started back then not as much so I couod force potatoes down.

8-10 studying and talking to wife what to do.Pharmacist at compounding place she called thinks the lamictal may be causing symtoms.just strange that it helped enough 7 yrs ago to get me out of this type of state after zyprexa gave me same reaction.He also felt tgat lower Effexor,remeron May have made the lam stronger in my system,moving dose time can shake system till it’s used to it.im using all my coping tools but at times I have no control of my thoughts  @Altostrata

 

[Altostrata]

Didn't we already discuss reducing Effexor? If it's Effexor XR with the little beads inside the capsule, you might reduce to 30mg by weighing the beads or counting them out.

 

If you can afford compounding, the pharmacy can make you capsules of 30mg Effexor XR beads.

 

For what reason are you taking lisinopril, how long have you been taking it? Please put this in your signature.

 

When was the last time you talked with a doctor about possible lisinopril side effects? Some of these drugs have recently been recalled.

 

Read https://www.drugs.com/sfx/lisinopril-side-effects.html#for-professionals

 

https://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-6873-9371/lisinopril-oral/lisinopril-oral/details

 

Quote

 

Side Effects

....

Tell your doctor right away if you have any serious side effects, including: fainting, symptoms of a high potassium blood level (such as muscle weakness, slow/irregular heartbeat).

 

Although lisinopril may be used to prevent kidney problems or treat people who have kidney problems, it may also rarely cause serious kidney problems or make them worse. Your doctor will check your kidney function while you are taking lisinopril. Tell your doctor right away if you have any signs of kidney problems such as a change in the amount of urine.

 

Lisinopril may rarely cause serious (possibly fatal) liver problems. Get medical help right away if you have any symptoms of liver damage, such as: nausea/vomiting that doesn't stop, loss of appetite, stomach/abdominal pain, yellowing eyes/skin, dark urine.

....

 

 

[Allreadygone]

U wanted to get me lil stable moving dose time of lam as u thought updose gave me adverse reaction.And u did mention. Effexor reduction after we dealt with lam.Im on immediate release I’ve cut them but I’m taking to compounding pharmacy to micro taper lam and then eff @Altostratathe linsinopril was given in 2014 for blood pressure which is ok now as higher Effexor is main cause

[Altostrata]

Exactly how much lisinopril are you taking every day? Did you read the side effects? Do they apply to you?

 

When was the last time you had a liver function blood test?

 

Where are your notes that show what happens after you take the evening lamotrigine?

 

When was the last time you reduced lamotrigine? What happened after that?

[Allreadygone]

The notes on pm lamictal is right underneath me taking it,more bad symtoms.Jan 8th last time I took 8mgs at6pm and prior 2 days,was to big a cut my sleep got worse than it allready is.I didn’t post for a few days as i was very bad off.The linsinopril I take a qrt of a 5mg pill,after researching this med effects people with mental health conditions and I’m gonna come off it.I haven’t had any physical test but I did get a kidney stone last year and I drink lemon water all day.Very concerning @AltostrataI figured it was harmless which is naive after what I’m goin thru on psych meds .

[Altostrata]

You take 1.25mg lisinopril?

 

Please don't change Lamictal, it helps you sleep. You might reduce Effexor a bit. That could be keeping you awake.

 

What do you mean by "depression"?

 

I need to see your daily notes, including the doses you take in the evening and what happens after that. Your notes have been stopping after dinner. You know how to do this, why do I have to keep asking over and over?

[Allreadygone]

3am-wake up 

545-25lam 31.25Eff 1.25 linsinopril 

fighting of intrusive dark thoughts,some inner restlessness,knot in stomach,twitching

6-9 laid in bed breathing 

10-12 gym,ran light weights,forced clam chowder 

2-4 took son to event 

4-5 walked at park symtoms less enuff to notice but still there.

6 lam12.5 symtoms still there not as paralyzing as day before 

7-8 walk with family

8 able to eat fajitas 

9-1030 studying meds esp linsinopril May be coming off that soon.People have developed mental health stuff from it.My main concern is the dark thoughts that have been relentless last couple weeks today was first day that it was a tiny bit less. @AltostrataGonna speak with the compounding pharmacist mon to see about gettin lam,eff micro taper.

[Altostrata]

So when are you going to reduce lisinoprol?

 

If you reduce Effexor a bit, most likely you'd need lisinoprol even less for your blood pressure. It might be best to reduce Effexor, then cut the lisinoprol dose in half.

 

Are you not dry-cutting and weighing an Effexor tablet to take 31.25mg? Can you not do the same to take 30mg Effexor?

 

If I were you, I'd go off lisinoprol before messing with the Lamictal dosage, since the Lamictal seems to be helping you sleep. Despite your belief that Lamictal is the cause of your problems, it may not be.

 

You have 2 jobs to do before reducing Lamictal: Reduce Effexor and go off lisinoprol.

[Allreadygone]

I am dry cutting yes it’s really tuff for all 4meds.my scale doesn’t measure mgs.so I  estimate the dose by what scale shows.if I do Effexor it will be micro taper as that was what I was cutting when I got bad but may have went way to fast I thought 3/4mgs was ok but I’ve been on it 20yrs.The pm lamictal is stimulating for sure as it was when I tried pm years ago.updising it caused SI I’m dealing with now worse than I’ve ever had..i think moving it back few hrs may help.tge remeron is only med Tgat helps sleep at all.looks like I forgot to put it on last post.Efrexor can keep u in the fight or flight response but I Think the norepinephrine kicks in on 150,but mixed with rem it’s potent in a bad way. tryin small amounts of magnesium to see if I tolerate it

Alto I need the intrusive SI stuff to calm down and I can handle the other stuff.Its like my mind can’t get a good reaction from any thoughts when it kicks in hard.@Altostrata

[ChessieCat]

51 minutes ago, Allreadygone said:

 tryin small amounts of magnesium to see if I tolerate it

 

Just high lighting the above.

[Allreadygone]

3am-wake up 

545-25lam 31.25Eff 1.25 linsinopril 

fighting of intrusive dark thoughts,some inner restlessness,knot in stomach,twitching

6-9 laid in bed breathing 

10-12 gym,ran light weights,forced clam chowder 

2-4 took son to event 

4-5 walked at park symtoms less enuff to notice but still there.

6 lam12.5 symtoms still there not as paralyzing as day before 

7-8 walk with family

8 able to eat fajitas 

9-1030 studying meds esp linsinopril May be coming off that soon.People have developed mental health stuff from it.My main concern is the dark thoughts that have been relentless last couple weeks today was first day that it was a tiny bit less. @AltostrataGonna speak with the compounding pharmacist mon to see about gettin lam,eff micro taper.

[Allreadygone]

I have tried it @ChessieCat and because of how bad off I am rn it’s hard to tell if it helps or hurts.Tgere is no pattern at all when the Dark intrusive stuff comes I have no control.i breath,Yoga,Tap,run,walk but it only lessons a lil when it wants.Tapering May be my only hope as I’m having adverse reaction to something