☼ Eastcoastgirl: a life free of antidepressants

[Ariel]

@Eastcoastgirl

 

Light sensitivity is very common in WD. Many of us experience overall heightened sensory sensitivity, incl. light, sound, touch, etc. 

 

I had this symptom for a while and wore dark glasses for months, even indoors. The acute sensitivity to bright light, be it sunlight or artificial lighting, has mostly resolved but still sometimes flares up, especially if I'm feeling increased stress and or anxiety. I manage this by wearing dark glasses outdoors and indoors as needed, as well as staying in the shade, keeping the curtains drawn indoors, wearing an eye mask to sleep, etc. 

 

It's gotten a lot better over the years. 

 

[Ariel]

You might also be interested in: 

 

[Ariel]

Also see:

 

Meteoropathy - weather causing issues?

 

Skin photosensitivity

 

Anyone dealing with PTSD related to light sensitivity, time changes and jet lag?

 

[Eastcoastgirl]

I seem to have finally come out of the very long and severe reaction I had to the booster shot back in february. I honestly didn’t think it would ever end but surprisingly the thing that brought me out of it was b vitamins. I am able to tolerate certain supplements better than I have before which is a sign to me that my nervous system is healing a bit and I hope it stays that way. Although my physical health has gotten continuously worse throughout this process, my mental health has come a long way. Going back through my old posts I am reminded of how far I have come and how I thought there was absolutely no way out and I was doomed. I was literally going to the hospital and begging to he admitted and calling crisis lines for several months in the first year of my withdrawal not thinking I could do this on my own. I still have days where my mind controls me, i’m depressed and I feel angry but it is so much more manageable and rarely consumes me. I am nearly 6 months post withdrawal and I hope to continue to make progress from here. 
 

I found out through genetic testing that I have the MTHFR gene mutation from both parents so I have a hard time utilizing folic acid, b12 and b6. If the levels of any of these vitamins are low in the body, homocysteine can rise and cause a host of pretty serious mental and physical health problems.. especially low b6 which is important for serotonin production. Knowing this information has been really helpful for me. 

[Eastcoastgirl]

Can anyone offer some tips on what to do if you have to have a big surgery in withdrawal? My nervous system has not been in a good place this past year and I have to have surgery that would require anesthesia, antibiotics, opioids and possibly some other things like anti-nausea medications. I may be able to pass on the opioids which is my biggest concern but i’m not sure how to go about explaining my extreme sensitivity and withdrawal to my surgeon. 

[ChessieCat]

There are many existing topics on SA, and you can either use the site search function or an internet search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.

 

Using just the word surgery easily found this topic:

 

surgery-and-anesthesia

 

ditto antibiotics:

 

cipro-levaquin-azithromycin-z-pack-and-other-antibiotics

 

ditto pain killers:

 

Some painkillers may need to be tapered (eg codeine, FYI codeine can cause constipation), but you can generally do it fairly quickly:

 

painkillers-in-withdrawal-aspirin-ibuprofen-paracetamol-acetaminophen-naproxen-codeine

[Eastcoastgirl]

Of all the supplements I have tried in withdrawal, biotin has caused the most severe reaction. I haven’t seen anything here about adverse reactions to biotin so I wanted to mention it. Biotin causes severe anger and agitation for me that does not go away quickly. Not sure why that might be but I have learned nothing is benign.

[ChessieCat]

Q:  What dose did you take compared to the suggested amount on the bottle?

 

Biotin = B7

 

Please post about your experience in this topic:

 

b-vitamins-or-b-vitamin-complex

 

Many members find B vitamins to be activating.

 

SA cautions members to start with a small amount of anything new and only try one thing at a time, ie not a complex, and not change your drug dose.

 

the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable

 

 

 

 

 

[Eastcoastgirl]

I took one capsule which was 1,000 mcg from Nature’s Bounty.. definitely way more than necessary but I have this reaction regardless of whether I take 1,000 or a much smaller dose. Luckily I have recovered but I have thrown out all my supplements and have given up on the idea that any of them could help me. 

[Eastcoastgirl]

I don’t know why but drinking green tea makes my brain and nervous system feel more calm than anything else i’ve ever put in my body. I am really happy that I have something that helps because I am in a bad 10 month wave right now.

[Eastcoastgirl]

One year drug free !! Nearly 4 years off Ativan & Celexa and 1 year off Prozac.
 

Grateful everyday that the poison is no longer in my body. I recently had a very bad wave that came out of the blue and lasted quite a while. It brought back a lot of trauma and I still have a very long way to go in the healing process. I still suffer from depression, suicidal ideation at times, and OCD which I never had prior to withdrawal but I am staying optimistic that time will heal. 

[Altostrata]

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

 

Please see this topic:  How to write your success story

[peaceandlove]

Hey so glad you’re doin better  did you get rid of your sibo? @Eastcoastgirl

[Eastcoastgirl]

1 hour ago, peaceandlove said:

Hey so glad you’re doin better  did you get rid of your sibo? @Eastcoastgirl

Thank you so much! Yes I did. I have had a lot more digestive issues since I stopped taking the SSRI but luckily SIBO has stayed away. 

[Eastcoastgirl]

Thank you Alto. I plan on writing my success story here eventually but i’m not ready yet.. I think I still have a long way to go. My nervous system and brain are still healing and very, very sensitive but I am still incredibly grateful that I managed to get off the drugs at all after years of failed attempts. Hoping my next update will be about my full recovery!

[peaceandlove]

9 minutes ago, Eastcoastgirl said:

Thank you so much! Yes I did. I have had a lot more digestive issues since I stopped taking the SSRI but luckily SIBO has stayed away. 

Wow that’s wonderful ! I’m having weird stomach issues ibs & acid reflux ever since withdrawal like my digestive system just doesn’t work. I really hope it’s not sibo. Did you do herbs or antibiotics ?

[Eastcoastgirl]

On 12/19/2022 at 10:37 PM, peaceandlove said:

Wow that’s wonderful ! I’m having weird stomach issues ibs & acid reflux ever since withdrawal like my digestive system just doesn’t work. I really hope it’s not sibo. Did you do herbs or antibiotics ?

I think that’s very common in withdrawal especially because 90% of serotonin is in the gut. Serotonin is really important for gut motility and keeping things running smoothly. My stomach was in agony for a long time after stopping antidepressants. Usually with SIBO one of the most identifiable symptoms is extremeeeee bloating. You can see a gastroenterologist or a naturopath and they can order a lactulose breath test to diagnose it. I used herbs & antibiotics but most of my issues with SIBO were prior to withdrawal. I would be careful with antibiotics in withdrawal if your nervous system is sensitive! Hope you feel better soon

[Eastcoastgirl]

I have only recently come to the realization that I can actually SLEEP at night again. For years I was completely unable to sleep at night and I tossed and turned in frustration with a mind that absolutely refused to shut off. When I was in the worst years of withdrawal the constant stream of thought in my head when I tried to sleep was often really depressing and scary. I still get some insomnia around “that time of the month” but the fact that I can sleep again tells me my brain is healing! 
 

 

[peaceandlove]

Nice update glad your sleeping again 🙂 

do you still have histamine intolerance ?

[Eastcoastgirl]

I do but it’s very mild now most of the time. The first year was unbearable because high histamine foods caused severe reactions but then I noticed a big improvement after two years. The only thing that really triggers me badly these days is heavy fragrance, eating too many fermented foods, certain probiotics and some common allergens like pet hair, pollen, dust..

[Eastcoastgirl]

I am nearly 16 months of all medication so I wanted to make a list of things that have gotten better or resolved completely to remind myself how far i’ve come.

 

1) I can sleep through the night! For years I did not sleep at night whatsoever. I was a complete zombie and even when I did sleep (usually during the day) it was very poor quality and it was very difficult to quiet my mind.

 

2) No more akathisia. I suffered from akathisia, especially when I was trying to fall asleep at night for years. It was definitely one of the worst and scariest symptoms because for me it was a mix of feeling severely agitated and suicidal which was NOT a good combination. 
 

3) Episodes of severe depression and suicidal ideation are mostly gone. I only get this every few months now and it doesn’t last nearly as long. 
 

4) Depersonalization is gone! I had never experienced depersonalization prior to withdrawal and it was really severe for me. For months on end absolutely nothing felt real.. it was like being on a really bad drug trip. 
 

5) Crying spells are almost gone!! For years I had intense crying spells everyday (sometimes multiple times a day) and I thought they would never stop. I was completely unable to control it and one time I burst a blood vessel in my eye from crying so hard. I am happy to report the crying spells are a rare occurrence these days and if they happen they are much easier to control.

 

6) Anger and aggression is almost gone! This was one of my worst symptoms in withdrawal. I was so far removed from my own personality for years and was full of rage. I would lash out at people, throw things and even say awful things to people and I couldn’t understand why. Luckily my family understood what was going on and i’m really grateful for that because I felt awful every time it happened. 
 

7) Hypersensitivity to drugs and supplements is improving everyday!! I’m still not great with prescription medications but I can take certain supplements or drink things like tea without any major withdrawal reactions. I am no longer afraid that a supplement I take is going to put me back into the worst withdrawal of my life, although I am still very careful and prefer to avoid just to be safe. 
 

8 ) My emotions are coming back. I had a crippling lack of motivation and just felt completely dead and empty inside for the entirety of my withdrawal. I thought I was incapable of feeling anything besides deep emptiness but I have made so much progress and I now feel happiness, joy and even motivation almost every day now. 
 

9) Histamine intolerance & PMDD, both of which I acquired in withdrawal are so much more manageable. The first 2 years they were unbearable but since then i’ve seen steady improvements.

 

 

Sometimes when I notice i’m having a really down day or I can notice symptoms that have not yet gone away such as rumination, OCD, fatigue and dysautonomia I get down on myself and think I will never be my old self again but when I actually take a step back I realize i’ve made more progress in the past year than ever. The first 6 months after I made the jump to zero were extremely challenging but then the healing really started to take place. I never really posted my worst moments on here but there was a very long period of time were I was fighting my mind just to stay alive every day.. huddled in a corner in my room rocking back and forth, terrified out of my mind. So i’m making this post because I know when I was in the worst of it; all I wanted was to see a post that gave me hope. It gets better

 

 

[Outoodrsyguy]

Just found this group. I started taking ssri when i was 19 years old. Im now 45. I quit taking the ssri about 8 years ago and shortly after that started having major stomach issues. For years i felt bloated and miserable and could barely eat anything without feeling horrible and i still do. I was diagnosed with sibo about 3 years ago took me a while after wasting my time going to ignorant gastro doctors who knew nothing about sibo or thought it was a joke i guess. I have been on the antibiotics, the elemental diet and the carnivore diet twice which im on now for almost 3 months of just eating meat. You would have think that would have gotten rid of my sibo or gotten rid of the bloating but no still bloated. Ive been taking motility activator and oregano oil for gut motility and killing bacteria, but i have no idea if thats working plus i started swimming laps at the gym for gut motility. I just figured out yesterday after i thought long and hard over the years to what caused my stomache issues over the years and the only thing i can think of is, it was from the antidepressants from reading other people who have had the same issues. Wish i never would have gotten on ssri in the first place. Been pretty miserable for the 8 years and ive pretty much had to figure most of the stuff out on my own. Maybe i need to add the serotonin back in im thinking to get my gut working again so I ordered some 5http along with artichoke extract, ginger root extract and milk thistle because i heard they were good for promoting gut motility but i really have no idea if that will work. If you have any suggestion it would be greatly appreciated and for the people who are feeling better thats great really happy for you.

[ChelseaMorning]

Thanks @Eastcoastgirl for your post on what has improved for you in the last 2 years, it is really positive to hear. It has been 14 months since I stopped taking amitriptyline for shingles nerve pain, and I have only recently figured out that has what has been causing my severe pms / PMDD, histamine intolerance and a whole host of other symptoms (insomnia being the worst). The 12 months prior to that were a scary period trying to manage and understand these unexplained symptoms.

 

I have noticed a gradual improvement in the past 2-3 months, but still battling the insomnia and getting episodes of depression / feel low / flat / lack of emotion / dizziness. It gives me hope to see that you found a significant improvement at the 2 year mark, and on my good days I can see that I'm getting better.

 

Wishing you continued healing,

 

[Eastcoastgirl]

On 5/16/2023 at 1:47 PM, ChelseaMorning said:

Thanks @Eastcoastgirl for your post on what has improved for you in the last 2 years, it is really positive to hear. It has been 14 months since I stopped taking amitriptyline for shingles nerve pain, and I have only recently figured out that has what has been causing my severe pms / PMDD, histamine intolerance and a whole host of other symptoms (insomnia being the worst). The 12 months prior to that were a scary period trying to manage and understand these unexplained symptoms.

 

I have noticed a gradual improvement in the past 2-3 months, but still battling the insomnia and getting episodes of depression / feel low / flat / lack of emotion / dizziness. It gives me hope to see that you found a significant improvement at the 2 year mark, and on my good days I can see that I'm getting better.

 

Wishing you continued healing,

 

 

I am so sorry that you are suffering too but I am glad to hear you are slowly making progress. It is a long road and I take comfort in knowing i’m not alone even if it sometimes feels like it in my everyday life. Sending hugs your way ! 

[Eastcoastgirl]

I have been wondering if anyone has been able to uncover why some people are able to take and come off countless psychiatric medications with no consequences while a small but significant group of us suffer major consequences.
 

When I was put on an SSRI as a young teenager, no one else was on them. Now 13 years later everyone and their dog is on them. I know of several people who have gone on and off SSRIs countless times, skipped taking them for days and tried all kinds of different ones with absolutely no withdrawal symptoms or significant side effects. My body gets used to a drug and when I take it away my whole system goes haywire. I can’t help but think that because severe protracted withdrawals are somewhat uncommon we may never learn what causes it in some people. 

[jipavl]

27 minutes ago, Eastcoastgirl said:

I have been wondering if anyone has been able to uncover why some people are able to take and come off countless psychiatric medications with no consequences while a small but significant group of us suffer major consequences.
 

When I was put on an SSRI as a young teenager, no one else was on them. Now 13 years later everyone and their dog is on them. I know of several people who have gone on and off SSRIs countless times, skipped taking them for days and tried all kinds of different ones with absolutely no withdrawal symptoms or significant side effects. My body gets used to a drug and when I take it away my whole system goes haywire. I can’t help but think that because severe protracted withdrawals are somewhat uncommon we may never learn what causes it in some people. 

Nobody knows the answers to these questions, I think.

 

Also, the ability to go off drugs easily can change with time. I used to CT all kinds of drugs in the past with no or minor issues. I CT the dreaded Olanzapine after several months of usage and had only minor issues.

 

This time I tried to tapper and failed miserably.

[Peter23]

Yes I I have often wondered why some people seem to be able to come off  antidepressants without protracted withdrawals. My sister has been taking antidepressants for 20 years and recently reduced her dose significantly without any ill effects. I was on antidepressants for the same number of years and they stopped working in March 2018. I became very anxious and depressed while still taking both Sertraline and mirtazapine. Tapered off them very gradually over a period of years but still feel extremely anxious and depressed. I really worry that I have done damage to my brain that is irreversible. 

[Eastcoastgirl]

I am in a very severe wave right now. Feeling disheartened that this is still happening. I had to go to the emergency room and ended up having to take some medication that likely started it.

[Catina7]

5 minutes ago, Eastcoastgirl said:

I am in a very severe wave right now. Feeling disheartened that this is still happening. I had to go to the emergency room and ended up having to take some medication that likely started it.

 

Aww I'm sorry!  That's tough, especially since you felt like you were out of the woods.  But this too shall pass....just a bump in the road.  Hope you level out soon...(((hugs)))

[Eastcoastgirl]

I have great news! 
 

My mental and physical health has been declining a lot the past two years, especially since I finished my taper. I have had some good times, but mostly bad. I couldn’t understand why until I recently found out I am pre-diabetic! I have a great doctor that started me on Metformin and it has helped SO much. I didn’t want to take any more pharmaceuticals but my quality of life was very bad. I am still healing from withdrawal but since starting Metformin my episodes of extreme anger, rage, suicidal ideation and depression have lessened significantly. I will never touch psychiatric medication again but I am grateful that I was able to find a drug that has made my quality of life better instead of worse. It’s been almost 5 years of suffering and i’m hoping I can make more progress now that I can hopefully get my blood sugar under control.