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KMart95: a life free of antidepressants

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KMart95
1 hour ago, Shep said:

 

You may want to ask her to join this site or you could print out information for her to read. The book Anatomy of an Epidemic has convinced many people to come off these drugs. But of course, only if she's open to it. 

 

There are many people who come off these drugs later in life and do just fine, especially with a slow and careful taper. And as Alto mentioned, she could be dealing with drug interactions. If that can be adjusted, she'll be in a better position should she decide she wishes to come off. 

Thank you Shep ! I tell her lots about the things I learn on this site, I will see if I can convince her to join. I also really want to read that book so i'll probably pick it up. She is thinking about doing a taper when I start mine , but I do have some good news. It was not poop out, she accidentally took 2 doses in one day. So instead of taking 10mg she took 20. Yesterday she had really bad muscle pain but she is fine now. I am glad because I was very worried she'd be suffering for a long time. We have both agreed though that we will consider coming up with a taper plan for her.

 

Also, the only other medication she takes is a sleeping pill. I looked it up in the drug interactions checker and there is a moderate interaction causing increased drowsiness. She has been taking the sleeping pill about as long as the Prozac so I knew it wasn't that , but regardless I do still wonder if that interaction causes problems for her.

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KMart95

Just need to vent. If anyone can relate, feel free to chime in.

 

I don't know what's going on with me lately. I'm not sure if this is my brain without drugs (or very little drugs) or what , but my brain seems to be obsessing over my current life situation. Even when i'm keeping myself occupied i'm always thinking about the fact that I don't have a job, I still live at home, I don't have any friends, I don't have a car, and my health is a mess. It's always bothered me but i've been obsessing over it lately to an unhealthy extent. Especially because everytime I go on social media I see old friends or classmates getting married/buying houses/starting their career, etc. The only reason I really can't work right now and change my situation is the chronic fatigue. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years in November but we didn't stop talking till the end of May. Since we stopped talking I realized that now he is not in my life, I have no one and i'm extremely lonely. I pushed everyone out of my life while we were dating, mostly because of health issues I was dealing with at the time. Now that i've been alone for a while i've had way too much time to myself and to think. I feel like the situation i'm in right now is making healing a lot more difficult than it needs to be because i've been a bit depressed lately and i'm not sleeping well at all. I think what really set it off is that i've been completely avoiding anyone who wants to either take me on a date or just hang out because I can't imagine who would want to date/be friends someone who has nothing going for them. I spent just about my entire life from age 15-24 in relationships and now that this is the longest i've been single, I notice I have completely neglected friendships and there is no way I will be happy if I don't somehow put myself out there. 

 

How do others here cope with loneliness/isolation in withdrawal? How do you deal with the fear of not being understood/accepted? 

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puthappinessfirst

Hey K,

 

The overthinking and dwelling is standard for WD. 

Everyone on this site has gone through it at this point, especially if things have been lost during this whole ordeal, like housing, savings, jobs, relationships, etc. 

Don't worry you're not alone! 

 

Have you read the thread on neuro emotions and emotional spirals? It's exactly what you're experiencing. 

Your life is far from over, you're so young and have a lot of healing and great things ahead of you!

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RealMe
8 hours ago, KMart95 said:
  • I notice I have completely neglected friendships and there is no way I will be happy if I don't somehow put myself out there. 

 

How do others here cope with loneliness/isolation in withdrawal? How do you deal with the fear of not being understood/accepted? 

Hi KMart95,  I've had a lot of experience with loneliness and isolation.  When I was withdrawing from ADs, there were days I couldn't get up except to go to the bathroom, much less to socialize.  This forum was so helpful in making me feel I was connecting with other humans.  As I got a little better, I tried to do at least one thing each day that a normal, healthy person might do.  I would take a walk in the sunshine--not far, mind you, but I did it.  I would make a phone call to someone, just to reach out.  Later, if someone invited me somewhere, and if I could manage it, I said "yes."  Short get-togethers were especially good.  I had a strong sense of anhedonia (lack of pleasure), but I noticed a small, pleasant feeling of accomplishment whenever I just tried to socialize.  Sometimes I would go to the library or to church or to the store and try to smile at someone or say a few words of greeting.  I don't know if you were ever as desperately withdrawn as I was, but wherever you are, you can build on it a little baby step at a time.  In the meantime, you have lots of friends here who are rooting for your happiness and freedom from ADs! :)

RM

 

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KMart95
3 hours ago, puthappinessfirst said:

Hey K,

 

The overthinking and dwelling is standard for WD. 

Everyone on this site has gone through it at this point, especially if things have been lost during this whole ordeal, like housing, savings, jobs, relationships, etc. 

Don't worry you're not alone! 

 

Have you read the thread on neuro emotions and emotional spirals? It's exactly what you're experiencing. 

Your life is far from over, you're so young and have a lot of healing and great things ahead of you!

Thank you for the reassurance ! I have no read that thread but I really should. 

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KMart95
2 hours ago, RealMe said:

Hi KMart95,  I've had a lot of experience with loneliness and isolation.  When I was withdrawing from ADs, there were days I couldn't get up except to go to the bathroom, much less to socialize.  This forum was so helpful in making me feel I was connecting with other humans.  As I got a little better, I tried to do at least one thing each day that a normal, healthy person might do.  I would take a walk in the sunshine--not far, mind you, but I did it.  I would make a phone call to someone, just to reach out.  Later, if someone invited me somewhere, and if I could manage it, I said "yes."  Short get-togethers were especially good.  I had a strong sense of anhedonia (lack of pleasure), but I noticed a small, pleasant feeling of accomplishment whenever I just tried to socialize.  Sometimes I would go to the library or to church or to the store and try to smile at someone or say a few words of greeting.  I don't know if you were ever as desperately withdrawn as I was, but wherever you are, you can build on it a little baby step at a time.  In the meantime, you have lots of friends here who are rooting for your happiness and freedom from ADs! :)

RM

 

Thank you so much RealMe ! I have most definitely been in the same situation for close to a year now. I too try my best to do some small thing that makes me feel "normal" everyday. I know that isolating myself completely from everyone always maked me feel worse. I am thinking about doing some light volunteer work, maybe even 1 hour a day just to feel like i'm doing something important and to meet people. 

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KMart95

I have exciting news. My mom is starting a taper tomorrow ! She's doing the Brass Monkey method. Right now her goal is to get down to 5mg and then she'll decide if she wants to go further. 

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Cocopuffz17
29 minutes ago, KMart95 said:

I have exciting news. My mom is starting a taper tomorrow ! She's doing the Brass Monkey method. Right now her goal is to get down to 5mg and then she'll decide if she wants to go further. 

Woohoo, that’s awesome! I wish I would of found this site before following my psychiatrists taper schedule. 

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KMart95
2 minutes ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Woohoo, that’s awesome! I wish I would of found this site before following my psychiatrists taper schedule. 

I'm so glad that I am able to take the invaluable info i've learned here and apply it to my mom's taper. Even though I didn't find this site early enough, I think she'll have a good chance !

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Cocopuffz17
2 hours ago, KMart95 said:

I'm so glad that I am able to take the invaluable info i've learned here and apply it to my mom's taper. Even though I didn't find this site early enough, I think she'll have a good chance !

Yep! Have you considered changing her diet as well? I know it helped immensely for me. 

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RealMe
6 hours ago, KMart95 said:

Thank you so much RealMe ! I have most definitely been in the same situation for close to a year now. I too try my best to do some small thing that makes me feel "normal" everyday. I know that isolating myself completely from everyone always maked me feel worse. I am thinking about doing some light volunteer work, maybe even 1 hour a day just to feel like i'm doing something important and to meet people. 

Wonderful idea!

 

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KMart95
10 minutes ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Yep! Have you considered changing her diet as well? I know it helped immensely for me. 

I haven't thought of that ! She's pretty stubborn when it comes to food. The biggest issue is going to be that she enjoys having a drink several nights a week and I don't think alcohol is a good idea during withdrawal. She is going to start fish oil though ! My whole family already eats super healthy which is good.

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Cocopuffz17
16 minutes ago, KMart95 said:

I haven't thought of that ! She's pretty stubborn when it comes to food. The biggest issue is going to be that she enjoys having a drink several nights a week and I don't think alcohol is a good idea during withdrawal. She is going to start fish oil though ! My whole family already eats super healthy which is good.

Nutrition is so critical. I never used to think so. I’m on a lectin free diet and it changed my life for the better. My autoimmune disease is reversing and I’m off of paroxetine. Paroxetine I was told I’d be on my whole life as I have a chemical imbalance, which we know is bs. My alopecia is reversing after almost 4 years of losing my hair on my whole body. 

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KMart95

Anyone know approximately how long it would take to taper off 1.3mg (.32ml) with 10% reduction every 2nd month? I'm mathematically challenged LOL.

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ChessieCat
Posted (edited)

I double checked this.

 

My personal calculation: 

 

0.0446mg   1,848 days = ~5 years

 

From this calculator (using the Microdose sheet) with 1st reduction on 1 August 2019 (which = 5 years):

 

0.0446mg     27 June 2024

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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KMart95
1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

I double checked this.

 

My personal calculation: 

 

0.0446mg   1,848 days = ~5 years

 

From this calculator (using the Microdose sheet) with 1st reduction on 1 August 2019 (which = 5 years):

 

0.0446mg     27 June 2024

 

Woah !! I am so confused Chessie. I calculated (or at least tried) and I got 2.5 years ish. How come it takes so long to taper off such a small dose? If someone were tapering off something like 10mg , wouldn't it take them like 10 years? I was hoping to somehow maintain a good speed but without doing any harm.

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brassmonkey

Hi KMart--  doing a safe taper is a very time consuming process, but the consequences of trying to go fast are just too painful.  The number that CC came up with is pretty close.

 

The half life of a 10% every two months it 14 months.  That means that starting at the 1.3mgai that you mentioned above you will be at 0.65mgai a year and two months from now.  If you follow the progression through to a level that is generally considered safe to jump to "0" from (0.04mgai is what CC indicated) that would be 5 half life cycles which works out to 5.4 years.  This does not take into consideration that there may be some times when it is a good idea to hold for an extended period of time to let things stabilize. This is calculated on the basis that it takes 6.5 reductions for each half life cycle.

 

You would get 2 years 8 months if you did reductions every month.

 

For people at a higher dose a safe taper can take a very long time. I tapered from 40mgai pf paxil at 10% every 6 weeks (the standard Brassmonkey Slide Method) and it took me five and a half years.  We have another member I was just advising who wants to do 5% every 6 weeks starting from 250mgai.  That is going to take around ten years.

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ChessieCat
1 hour ago, KMart95 said:

1.3mg (.32ml) with 10% reduction every 2nd month

 

This is what I calculated it on.

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KMart95
8 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Hi KMart--  doing a safe taper is a very time consuming process, but the consequences of trying to go fast are just too painful.  The number that CC came up with is pretty close.

 

The half life of a 10% every two months it 14 months.  That means that starting at the 1.3mgai that you mentioned above you will be at 0.65mgai a year and two months from now.  If you follow the progression through to a level that is generally considered safe to jump to "0" from (0.04mgai is what CC indicated) that would be 5 half life cycles which works out to 5.4 years.  This does not take into consideration that there may be some times when it is a good idea to hold for an extended period of time to let things stabilize. This is calculated on the basis that it takes 6.5 reductions for each half life cycle.

 

You would get 2 years 8 months if you did reductions every month.

 

For people at a higher dose a safe taper can take a very long time. I tapered from 40mgai pf paxil at 10% every 6 weeks (the standard Brassmonkey Slide Method) and it took me five and a half years.  We have another member I was just advising who wants to do 5% every 6 weeks starting from 250mgai.  That is going to take around ten years.

Thank you so much for explaining this to me. I have one more question for you- since I am going to be using a syringe, I am a bit confused how it will work. If my starting dose is .32ml and I want to reduce by 2.5% , won't the only option be to go down by one line at a time? Like, I couldn't go between the lines if the calculations are somewhere in the middle if you know what I mean? 

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ChessieCat

You can dilute it with more liquid.

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brassmonkey

It might be a matter of getting several syringes of different sizes so you can mix and match to get the dose you're after. There are 1ml syringes available that have lines for 1/10 and 1/100 of a ml. so it's possible to get very accurate that way.  As CC just pointed out working with the dilution of the liquid is another way to control the dose volume.

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KMart95

@brassmonkey @ChessieCat thank you both for your expertise. This would explain why I was coming up with much shorter time frames for the taper. I'll look into getting a different syringe.

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Ryguy
On 7/12/2019 at 12:43 AM, KMart95 said:

Just need to vent. If anyone can relate, feel free to chime in.

 

I don't know what's going on with me lately. I'm not sure if this is my brain without drugs (or very little drugs) or what , but my brain seems to be obsessing over my current life situation. Even when i'm keeping myself occupied i'm always thinking about the fact that I don't have a job, I still live at home, I don't have any friends, I don't have a car, and my health is a mess. It's always bothered me but i've been obsessing over it lately to an unhealthy extent. Especially because everytime I go on social media I see old friends or classmates getting married/buying houses/starting their career, etc. The only reason I really can't work right now and change my situation is the chronic fatigue. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years in November but we didn't stop talking till the end of May. Since we stopped talking I realized that now he is not in my life, I have no one and i'm extremely lonely. I pushed everyone out of my life while we were dating, mostly because of health issues I was dealing with at the time. Now that i've been alone for a while i've had way too much time to myself and to think. I feel like the situation i'm in right now is making healing a lot more difficult than it needs to be because i've been a bit depressed lately and i'm not sleeping well at all. I think what really set it off is that i've been completely avoiding anyone who wants to either take me on a date or just hang out because I can't imagine who would want to date/be friends someone who has nothing going for them. I spent just about my entire life from age 15-24 in relationships and now that this is the longest i've been single, I notice I have completely neglected friendships and there is no way I will be happy if I don't somehow put myself out there. 

 

How do others here cope with loneliness/isolation in withdrawal? How do you deal with the fear of not being understood/accepted? 

This is incredibly relevant to exactly what i am currently going through. I have been in withdrawal for many years, serotonin receptors are basically completely nonexistent, and ive tried everything to get back to where i was before starting the meds. i too have been isolated, withdrawn from the public and have also lost the majority of my friends and disconnected from my family as well. the obsessional thinking about how much has been lost, and the unhealthy thoughts that come with seeing how everyone around you has progressed and you are stuck is NOT something you are only going through. first thing i would say, is that the majority of the people around you who look like they have their **** together are just wearing a mask, they don't, in fact, the majority of people who make their lives look fantastic online are just doing that because they feel the very opposite, empty and broken. however, i would argue that social media is the LAST thing you want to look at when going through isolation and withdrawal...it would only confuse and disorientate you further. its mostly all fake and contrived, but you know that deep down and you are your own worse enemy when it comes to obsessive thoughts, at least i know that's true for myself....the best thing to do is focus on doing things that can speed up recovery, and focusing entirely on that, and know that the outside world is largely illusory, and potentially thousands and thousands of people on this planet are going through the exact same thing as you, which means you aren't alone, not even in the slightest. you are also doing the right thing talking about it , and im here to reassure you , not only are you not alone, but i and many others are experiencing the exact same thing. just don't pay attention to social media haha, for me, movies, podcasts, and finding new natural remedies to speed up recovery is the only thing im interested in at this point. 

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KMart95
Posted (edited)

Thank you so much. This really gave me a lot to think about. Sometimes I forget that i'm not the only person in the world going through a hard time. I've felt this pull lately to make a change in my life. Basically, I feel the motivation and need to change my thinking and start focusing more on myself instead of what others are doing, but damn it's hard when you're 24 years old and you pretty much grew up with social media. I find myself deleting my apps and then downloading them again the next day because i'm curious to see what old friends are doing. But deep down I know this isn't helping me whatsoever. I think it's going to be a matter of being willing to change my thinking and my actions but also understanding my limitations right now and working with what my body can do. 

 

Thank you for this post RyGuy ! Sending you all the positive vibes.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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Ryguy
Posted (edited)

yes im also in a similar age category, so i grew up with the same stuff and did all the same things, but ive been dealing with protracted for so many years now that ive learned to basically delete all social media accounts, which i have done, and thats helped significantly. i permanently deleted FB and IG , haha. thats entirely up to you, but i used to do the whole cancelling and downloading apps as well....its a cycle, i realized it was only doing me harm and that most of my demons were in my own imagination....watching movies helps, and shows. im currently watching a show called Euphoria on HBO , and its quite incredible, best show ive watched in years. highly recommend, also it deals with relevant themes (drugs, social media, etc...) but maybe not in the same ways that we have experienced them....its good either way. also podcasts might help too, and listening to others with similar experiences 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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KMart95

Fatigue is absolutely killer. I wake up and within an hour I feel like I could collapse. My eyes pretty much close on their own. It's almost "that time of the month" , my circadian rhythm is super out of whack and I can't fall asleep until at least 2am, and i'm taking neem for SIBO now. I'm sure those are all factors but I am so so sick of being exhausted. Can't really enjoy summer much when all you want to do is sleep.

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Cocopuffz17
Posted (edited)

I know that feeling. I took iron/b vitamin supplements for 8 years and it helped a ton. Before if I didn’t take them I would just crash like you mentioned. But I changed my diet and haven’t taken them in 9 months and feel way better. Especially after coming off my AD. 

 

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Ryguy
5 hours ago, KMart95 said:

Fatigue is absolutely killer. I wake up and within an hour I feel like I could collapse. My eyes pretty much close on their own. It's almost "that time of the month" , my circadian rhythm is super out of whack and I can't fall asleep until at least 2am, and i'm taking neem for SIBO now. I'm sure those are all factors but I am so so sick of being exhausted. Can't really enjoy summer much when all you want to do is sleep.

yeah i get to sleep around 4am, and wake up every two hours, my body always want to sleep but never can, like im stuck in a teasing spiral of frustration, cortisol wreaks havoc on my internal and external body as well , like liquid deterioration . for me, all my gut issues come from AD meds, and i feel the gut  is responsible for the wacked out circadian 

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Carmie
6 hours ago, KMart95 said:

Fatigue is absolutely killer. I wake up and within an hour I feel like I could collapse. My eyes pretty much close on their own. It's almost "that time of the month" , my circadian rhythm is super out of whack and I can't fall asleep until at least 2am, and i'm taking neem for SIBO now. I'm sure those are all factors but I am so so sick of being exhausted. Can't really enjoy summer much when all you want to do is sleep.

 

I’m there with you on the fatigue side of things Kmart, it’s definitely no fun. 

 

I spend lots of time in bed  with itt too, but the last week I’ve actually managed to get out and about and do lots of socialising and go on little adventures. I was in a window as well, so I guess that helped too. I was amazed though that I didn’t go into a major crash which always happens when I overdo it. I’m mainly in bed the last few days though. 

 

I’m under a lot of stress, unrelated to withdrawals, which I won’t mention on here, and one of my friends said that I should maybe have a little break from tapering but that would stress me out even more. I need to see the numbers going down, so on Sunday I tapered from 6.75mg to 6.50mg. I haven’t felt the drop as yet. It’s going to take me at least ten years to get off that amount so I don’t want to drag it on even longer. I can only taper by around 4% or lower. 

 

As regards social media, if you find it stressful I would delete my account. I have Instagram and I love seeing what my friends are doing and it doesn’t trigger me, but if you find it triggering it’s best to get rid of it because it will just cause more stress. I got rid of Instagram a little while ago, not because it was triggering, but because I thought checking it all the time wasn’t good for my nervous system. I love photography though and it was such a hassle sending photos to my friends individually so I went back on it. Much easier just posting and all my friends can see the photos in one go. I particularly love taking nature and animal photos. 

 

Hope you manage to cope as best you can, sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

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Cocopuffz17
Posted (edited)

I see so much on the long taper and supplements on this forum. But I do not see much on diet and the microbiome. By changing my nutrition and in turn changing my microbiome, I was able to come off and by the sounds of it I have very minimal withdrawals to what most are experiencing. Just abit of food for thought. I hope everyone has more longer windows than waves! 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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KMart95
22 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

I’m there with you on the fatigue side of things Kmart, it’s definitely no fun. 

 

I spend lots of time in bed  with itt too, but the last week I’ve actually managed to get out and about and do lots of socialising and go on little adventures. I was in a window as well, so I guess that helped too. I was amazed though that I didn’t go into a major crash which always happens when I overdo it. I’m mainly in bed the last few days though. 

 

I’m under a lot of stress, unrelated to withdrawals, which I won’t mention on here, and one of my friends said that I should maybe have a little break from tapering but that would stress me out even more. I need to see the numbers going down, so on Sunday I tapered from 6.75mg to 6.50mg. I haven’t felt the drop as yet. It’s going to take me at least ten years to get off that amount so I don’t want to drag it on even longer. I can only taper by around 4% or lower. 

 

As regards social media, if you find it stressful I would delete my account. I have Instagram and I love seeing what my friends are doing and it doesn’t trigger me, but if you find it triggering it’s best to get rid of it because it will just cause more stress. I got rid of Instagram a little while ago, not because it was triggering, but because I thought checking it all the time wasn’t good for my nervous system. I love photography though and it was such a hassle sending photos to my friends individually so I went back on it. Much easier just posting and all my friends can see the photos in one go. I particularly love taking nature and animal photos. 

 

Hope you manage to cope as best you can, sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

You always leave me the best messages Carmie ! Your positivity always puts me in a better mood. Isn't it great when you get a window and you can actually go out and do fun stuff ?! I had a really great 10 day window recently and I took advantage of it for sure. I am getting eager to start my taper but I know I have to be patient and stabilize a bit longer. 

 

It's kind of a double edged sword for me because although I tend to compare myself to other people at times, i'm also really big into photography and I love sharing my photos with people and editing them up all nice! Haha , so I guess I just have to know when i'm not in a good headspace and need to cut back on what i'm taking in.

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KMart95

Well, yesterday was a rough day. I spent most of it in bed. I was feeling really depressed and especially exhausted lately. I feel like I have come to rely on the daily b vitamins for energy, but if that's what I need to get out the door and be in better spirits, I guess it's worth it for now. 

 

Today I really pushed myself. I kayaked the full perimeter of the lake and I was really proud of myself. I saw tons of ducks and spent time with my aunt and her 12 kids !! I was also expecting to feel really depressed when I woke up because i'm so close to "that time of the month" , but I got a message saying I had won 10 bikinis in a contest so that definitely brightened my day ! 

 

I have been starting to think about my taper lately and I have been thinking that I may just simplify things and go down by 1 line a month of my syringe. So basically on the 1st of every month I would go down by one line and hold for the rest of the month. This way I still get a long hold period, but I am able to make 12 cuts per year and maintain a descent speed. I have 31 cuts to make so at this rate I would be done in a little over 2 and a half years. Because it is a very small dose i'm starting with, I think this sounds reasonable but if anyone wants to chime in, feel free ! 

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puthappinessfirst
4 minutes ago, KMart95 said:

I kayaked the full perimeter of the lake and I was really proud of myself. I saw tons of ducks and spent time with my aunt and her 12 kids !!

 

Sounds like a fun and productive day, K! 

It's great to get outside and be around people. I find it really helps me unless I am drowning by a wave. 

Otherwise, it helps distract and lift my spirits. 

 

If B Vitamins help you, don't worry. 

There could be worse things you need to get on with your day, so if you need vitamins, you need vitamins! 

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KMart95
Posted (edited)

It really was ! My best days are always when I push myself to do something other than lying in bed. Sometimes it's not possible but i'm always glad I tried. 

 

Thank you. I think I needed to hear that. It sounds silly but I guess i'm just annoyed that without taking this little pill everyday, I am exhausted and unmotivated. But it's a lot better than an antidepressant that's for sure! 

 

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eymen23

Kmart95;

 

In my opinion, the most important aspect of tapering is the ability to listen to your own body and nervous system.

 

It is completely reasonable to have a plan in place, but ultimately the only way to taper whilst truly minimising the risk of nervous system destabilisation and intolerable symptoms, is to taper by as much and as often as your body and nervous system dictates. 

 

SA recommends members (and moderators) taper by a maximum of 10% per month. As ever, your mileage may vary. Some will need to take things much slower and indeed there will always be the individuals who don’t take this advice and ‘get away with it’, but I don’t think that will ever be worth the risk of severe withdrawal symptoms. 

 

In my experience, tapering is easiest when it becomes a process happening in the background of your daily life. I make small reductions and wait until I have fully stabilised before making the next reduction. This way my thoughts are focused on ‘real life’ and not tapering, and the suffering is minimised. 

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puthappinessfirst

I take fish oil, magnesium, vitamin d, probiotics daily, so I know what you mean about taking stuff every day just to feel better. 

I find I get super wonky if I miss multiple days of magnesium and fish oil.

But I much prefer that to ADs, since the WDs are horrendous and they have taken such a control over life. 

 

And the fact that you were hanging out with 12 kids during all this is impressive... I'm not much older than you and that sounds like too much for me right now hahaha.

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