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Derealization or Depersonalization (DR and DP)

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Shep

I can relate to a lot of what has been posted but I also have another problem that I think is related. Does anyone with dp/dr also have periods of time that seem to be "missing"?

 

It's like I can sit down at the computer and start to read something and then a half an hour will disappear? I'm still looking at the very same paragraph, but time has simply vanished.

 

I think it ties in with the dp/dr that I have but I'm not sure.

 

I don't drink or do recreational drugs. My only med is 6.25 mg of Seroquel at night. I've had this for the past 8 months, but I'm wondering if it's connected to coming off of Klonopin too quickly in June. I also had it after a SSRI cold turkey last march in 2013.

 

Does anyone else have this?


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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LoveandLight

I don't know if it's the same, but it feels like whole years are racing away without me!


2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Barbarannamated

Shep,

 

I do have missing chunks of time. Not as much as earlier in withdrawal, but still there. There is a name for this but I'm blanking on it.

 

Edit to add: dyschronometria

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4152-dyschronometria-distorted-time-perception/?fromsearch=1


Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Frustrated

I think the five months that I have been off the Paxil have been nothing but a blur. I feel like I go through the motions in an empty shell with someone elses hands. It is like being trapped inside myself. I Cannot imagine living like this for years.


2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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mammaP

I lose time too, it just seems to go and I haven't a clue what day it is or how long it is since I went out.

Not so much now but it still happens in a wave.  Through the 20 odd years since I entered the maniacal psych system

and it's torturous treatments I've lost big chunks of time. Some holidays I cant remember, whole holidays and we didn't

have many then! Family occasions, some very traumatic events that happened to people and I can't remember. It can

be very embarrassing when they look at me and say they can't believe I can't remember THAT incident.   

 

I also know that feeling like you have somehow been carried through, not being aware enough to get through it yourself. 

It is all very surreal and to be honest I'm glad now that I can wonder where the time went, I don't really want to dwell on

it, just glad that it has gone and my healing is moving forward getting better all the time despite the waves that come

along and knock me off my feet sometimes.


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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LoveandLight

Glad it has gone for you too, thank you for all your kind words also mammap xx


2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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WiggleIt

Is depersonalization the same thing as messed up depth perception?  Everything looks too far away.  I know that people are here, and I know that I am here, but everything looks too far away.


**I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, merely personal experience
***Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-4 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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UnfoldingSky

Depersonalization as I understand it is a sense that you aren't yourself, like you aren't connected to your body.  I'm not sure if this is part of the technical definition but I also didn't feel human when I had it.  People often get derealization with it, which is a sense the world isn't quite real, like it's been distorted in some way, like it's a dream (or more like nightmare.) They are both dissociative states. 

 

What you are describing maybe would fall under derealization.

 

I had lots of experiences where things seemed too far away or too close, or too big while I had DP/DR.


I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Pitykitty

I totally relate to this - especially Shep. After dr. quack cold turkeyed me @massive meds, i had intense + incredible "blank-outs". I knew I hadnt blacked out b/c I would've been injured or crashed my car. I would just become "aware" on the side of the road or at home/work while performing a task. I'd look at clock + it would be minutes or hours later. I'd walk my dog + end up at a different park from where i'd started. Entire days would be missing. I was scared + dont know how I made it. Its been a few years since that horror, thank goodness. It does seem different than DP/DR, which I still get occasionally...especially during high-stress. But I will read those links to learn more. Strangely, no p-docs (past or present) seem willing to discuss it.

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SelmaLady

My DR/DP has increased to such an intensity since I had to take PNC in Jan of last year.  I have a very complicated drug history but I just don't know how to endure the constant escalation of this.  The whole world inside and out is unreachable.  And because my brain is constantly shrinking the space, everything is getting closer and closer.  I just don't have any coping skills for this.  I have been thru horrendous years of recovery from a bad c/t benzo w/d but that was doable because it remained constant.  I have to find some reason to get thru today, to get thru the next minute. 


1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1992- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 1.30mg

5/4/17  Doxepin 45mg  Zoloft 24mg  Clonidine 1.20mg   Micro taper of Doxepin, Clonidine

01/13/19  Doxepin 45mg   Zoloft 21mg   Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19

 

 

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SelmaLady

Depersonalization as I understand it is a sense that you aren't yourself, like you aren't connected to your body.  I'm not sure if this is part of the technical definition but I also didn't feel human when I had it.  People often get derealization with it, which is a sense the world isn't quite real, like it's been distorted in some way, like it's a dream (or more like nightmare.) They are both dissociative states. 

 

What you are describing maybe would fall under derealization.

 

I had lots of experiences where things seemed too far away or too close, or too big while I had DP/DR.

I just saw this.  At least I know that what I have is in the same neuro pathway! 


1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1992- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 1.30mg

5/4/17  Doxepin 45mg  Zoloft 24mg  Clonidine 1.20mg   Micro taper of Doxepin, Clonidine

01/13/19  Doxepin 45mg   Zoloft 21mg   Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19

 

 

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degen12

Is depersonalization the same thing as messed up depth perception?  Everything looks too far away.  I know that people are here, and I know that I am here, but everything looks too far away.

 

The first day I woke up with depersonalization/derealization I felt like my eyes were further back in my head. The fan above my bed looked further away and everything looked 2d. People looked smaller as well. The more familiar or emotionally attached to something (like a family member or my bedroom) the more odd looking and distressing it was. This makes logical sense that if you have lost your sense of self all of the things that were important to that identity would return, visually, to a significance level that other people see them as. For example my car appeared smaller than it did before, but other people's cars did not seem to change. I realized that this was because my car normally appeared bigger to me because it had a great significance to me. (I was practically in love with it). There is a great overlap with the visual system and emotion centers in the brain. Some people with severe DP/DR have benefited from moving.


April / 2016: Cipralex 10 mg, Mirtazapine 30 mg, Lyrica 600 mg, Diazepam 20 mg, Bystolic 5 mg

2018: Lots of polypharmacy which is undocumented here. Started and stopped several drugs and changed doses of existing ones

August / 2018: Back on track! Cipralex 15 mg, Mirtazapine 7.5 mg, Diazepam 15 mg

September 2018: Cipralex 15 mg -> 12.5 mg

October 2018: Cipralex 12.5 mg -> 10 mg, Mirtazapine 7.5 mg -> 3.75 mg -> Stopped, Diazepam 15 mg

November 2019: Cipralex 5 mg, Diazepam 10 mg

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Daveguy2015

I have questions about depersonalization. I was on SSRI’s for 4 years and I stopped without proper taper (because I listened to my doctor). Now I feel like I'm on autopilot and then at times I feel this scary detachment sensation from my body, and also dizziness/vertigo. Like for a split second if im looking at the screen on my phone, or if i look at my hands, it feels like Im a different person looking at my body. Does this sound like depersonalization? Is this normal in SSRI withdrawal? How long could it last? Also it makes my baseline anxiety go really high, how do I stop this? I really need help and your responses are very much appreciated.


Ritalin (forgot the dosages), 95'-00'
Adderall 10mg for ADD, 00'- Jan 10'
Lexapro 10mg, August 10' - March 14'
Lexapro 15mg, March 14' - Sept 14'
Prozac 10mg, Sept 14' - October, 24th 14'
No meds since October 24th, 14'

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Petunia

Hi Daveguy, I replied in your introduction thread.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Petunia

Topics merged


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Muddles

DP/DR - I'm not sure if I have this but I feel totally dead to the world...no emotions or connection with anything. I get a doom feeling whenever I look at anything. Feels like there is nothing in my head. No anxiety etc...just dead??

 

Does this sound like DP/DR?


2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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justwanttobefree

Holy **** am I scared. I had quite bad anxiety all day yesterday and when my husband got home from work I literally felt like he was a stranger. I couldn't really recognize him and I felt like I didn't know how to act around him. This caused me to have a severe panic attack until I finally fell asleep. Begging someone for reassurance because I've woken up and the anxiety is so severe. I can't stand the thought of this continuing like why would God take from me the one person I love the most :'(


Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD

 

November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg

C/T off 20mg Cipralex

Went into dark depression (never experienced before med)

September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg

Weaned down to 10mg and held

October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac

Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable

June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg

June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point.

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Horns85

Derealization seems to be my new symptom this week. Started last Thursday and is quite terrifying. Anyone here have updates and have gotten better?


Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

2016 - 9mg 3/26/16....8mg 5/11/16....7mg 7/05/16....6mg 8/26/16....5mg 10/31/16

2017 - 4mg 3/06/17....3mg 6/24/17....2mg 9/07/17...1.25mg 10/21/17....1mg 11/04/2017

2018 - 0.75mg 1/21/18....0.5mg 2/18/18....0.25mg 3/13/18....0.125mg 3/27/18....0.000 4/9/18

 

Supplements - 15B probiotic on and off. Usually helps w/ mood but sometimes is too activating.

 

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Petunia

I used to experience derealization quite severely. It would become extreme whenever I left the house and it was with me at home all the time to a lesser extent. Before I found this site, I didn't know what it was, so it was both terrifying and confusing and I kept trying to go out and expose myself to things, thinking that's what I needed to do, so I further traumatized myself. But when I learned what was going on, I stopped forcing myself to do things which made it worse so that I could reduce the stress.

 

Things which made it worse included bright lights, crowds or even the presence of other people, noise, busy places. Just going outside on a sunny day would make it much worse, any kind of stimulation really.

 

I always felt better later in the day, so I would wait until then to do anything I needed to do. But I think this is the symptom which caused me to become agoraphobic because going out and having it amp up was just so awful.

 

Now this symptom is very much reduced. If it was as high as a 10 previously, now its down to between 1 and 3. I still don't like leaving the house, probably because of the bad memories, but the reality is, when I do, its nowhere near as bad as what it used to be like.

 

This is a common withdrawal symptom and it will go away by itself, knowing that means you don't have to be scared of it, even though its very unpleasant.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Horns85

I used to experience derealization quite severely. It would become extreme whenever I left the house and it was with me at home all the time to a lesser extent. Before I found this site, I didn't know what it was, so it was both terrifying and confusing and I kept trying to go out and expose myself to things, thinking that's what I needed to do, so I further traumatized myself. But when I learned what was going on, I stopped forcing myself to do things which made it worse so that I could reduce the stress.

 

Things which made it worse included bright lights, crowds or even the presence of other people, noise, busy places. Just going outside on a sunny day would make it much worse, any kind of stimulation really.

 

I always felt better later in the day, so I would wait until then to do anything I needed to do. But I think this is the symptom which caused me to become agoraphobic because going out and having it amp up was just so awful.

 

Now this symptom is very much reduced. If it was as high as a 10 previously, now its down to between 1 and 3. I still don't like leaving the house, probably because of the bad memories, but the reality is, when I do, its nowhere near as bad as what it used to be like.

 

This is a common withdrawal symptom and it will go away by itself, knowing that means you don't have to be scared of it, even though its very unpleasant.

Thank you, Petunia! That's makes me feel so much better. Great to hear this has lessend for you!

 

I try very hard to accept the feeling but even as soon as a wake up and put my glasses on my vision feels so distorted. This seems to be with me all the time and worse when something stimulates it, just like you said.

 

No matter how hard I try, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up which I know just makes it worse.

 

Hopefully with time, I will be able to focus on it less and it will gradually fade away. Do you have any suggestions, besides time, to lessen the severity?


Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

2016 - 9mg 3/26/16....8mg 5/11/16....7mg 7/05/16....6mg 8/26/16....5mg 10/31/16

2017 - 4mg 3/06/17....3mg 6/24/17....2mg 9/07/17...1.25mg 10/21/17....1mg 11/04/2017

2018 - 0.75mg 1/21/18....0.5mg 2/18/18....0.25mg 3/13/18....0.125mg 3/27/18....0.000 4/9/18

 

Supplements - 15B probiotic on and off. Usually helps w/ mood but sometimes is too activating.

 

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Petunia
 Do you have any suggestions, besides time, to lessen the severity?

 

 

I wish I did, but unfortunately I can't say anything I tried helped with this symptom. As much as possible, avoid situations which make it worse, unless you can get used to feeling this way, I never did.

 

Your comment about your vision feeling distorted might not actually be caused by derealization, although it may make it feel worse. Withdrawal can have effects on vision too, causing blurriness among other things. I used to have this problem in the mornings also. I also had a lot of problems early on with my reading glasses and kept changing between different strengths because my vision would keep changing, but that has settled down now also.

 

See:  Eye symptoms: floaters, blurred or dimmed vision etc


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Horns85

 

Do you have any suggestions, besides time, to lessen the severity?

 

I wish I did, but unfortunately I can't say anything I tried helped with this symptom. As much as possible, avoid situations which make it worse, unless you can get used to feeling this way, I never did.

 

Your comment about your vision feeling distorted might not actually be caused by derealization, although it may make it feel worse. Withdrawal can have effects on vision too, causing blurriness among other things. I used to have this problem in the mornings also. I also had a lot of problems early on with my reading glasses and kept changing between different strengths because my vision would keep changing, but that has settled down now also.

 

See: Eye symptoms: floaters, blurred or dimmed vision etc

Thanks, Petunia.

The vision thing is more like tunnel vision/things look far away. Kinda how you'd feel after a panic attack. From what I've read, seems like classic DR, but I don't know.

 

I love to exercise and this is the first symptom I have gotten which seems to be really aggravated by exercise which is really depressing and anxiety provoking.

 

The few moments of the day when I can distract myself, it does seem to get better. Unfortunately as you know, it's hard to not think about it when it's constant.


Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

2016 - 9mg 3/26/16....8mg 5/11/16....7mg 7/05/16....6mg 8/26/16....5mg 10/31/16

2017 - 4mg 3/06/17....3mg 6/24/17....2mg 9/07/17...1.25mg 10/21/17....1mg 11/04/2017

2018 - 0.75mg 1/21/18....0.5mg 2/18/18....0.25mg 3/13/18....0.125mg 3/27/18....0.000 4/9/18

 

Supplements - 15B probiotic on and off. Usually helps w/ mood but sometimes is too activating.

 

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Horns85

This is by far my most distressing symptom. It's so hard to describe because I feel like I'm present except it always feels as if I'm looking through a fishbowl or behind a glass wall. The brain fog has lifted but it's impossible to ignore or not think about how everything looks.

 

Days when my mood is better and I don't ruminate over it, I do notice an improvement, but it's always there.

 

I don't know how people deal with this for long periods of time. I try to accept it but it's so difficult to not make anxiety worse, which fuels it.

 

Gosh I hate this. I can only imagine the only way it goes away is once our mood lifts and we are able to not obsess over certain symptoms, it will lift. Hopefully sooner than later.


Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

2016 - 9mg 3/26/16....8mg 5/11/16....7mg 7/05/16....6mg 8/26/16....5mg 10/31/16

2017 - 4mg 3/06/17....3mg 6/24/17....2mg 9/07/17...1.25mg 10/21/17....1mg 11/04/2017

2018 - 0.75mg 1/21/18....0.5mg 2/18/18....0.25mg 3/13/18....0.125mg 3/27/18....0.000 4/9/18

 

Supplements - 15B probiotic on and off. Usually helps w/ mood but sometimes is too activating.

 

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Dan998

When I had DR/DP I found that having a conversation with someone in front of a mirror really helped to snap me back into reality. I discovered this technique by accident when I was having a haircut, I could see my facial expressions and my mouth moving whilst I was speaking, it felt strange at first, but it reinforced my connection with the world again. 


2001: 20mg paroxetine
2003-2014: Switched between 20mg citalopram and 10mg escitalopram with several failed CT's
2015: Jan/ Feb-very fast taper off citalopram; Mar/ Apr-crashed; 23 Apr-reinstated 5mg; 05 May-updosed to 10mg; 15 Jul-started taper; Aug-9.0mg; Sep-8.1mg; Oct-7.6mg; Nov-6.8mg; Dec-6.2mg
2016: Jan-5.7mg; Feb-5.2mg; Mar-5.0mg;  Apr-4.5mg; May-4.05mg; Jun-3.65mg; Jul-3.3mg; Aug-2.95mg; 04Sep-2.65mg; 25Sep-2.4mg; 23Oct-2.15mg; 13Nov-1.95mg; 04Dec-1.75mg; 25Dec-1.55mg.
2017: 08Jan-1.4mg; 22Jan-1.25mg; 12Feb-1.1mg; 26Feb-1.0mg; 05Mar-0.9mg; 15Mar-0.8mg; 22Mar-0.7mg; 02Apr-0.6; 09Apr-0.5mg; 16Apr-0.4mg; 23Apr-0.3; 03May-0.2mg; 10May-0.1mg

Finished taper 17 May 2017.

 

I am not a medical professional. The information I provide is not medical advice. If in doubt please consult with a qualified healthcare provider.

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bluebalu86

These are my main symptoms right at the moment. They're very difficult to describe. I feel extremely mentally confused and everything seems weird and surreal and scary and not normal. I get surges of weird feelings overcoming me. Don't know how exactly to explain this, but it's terrible and makes it hard for me to function. I also feel like there's something wrong with the way my eyes process reality. My brain can't function properly. I feel like I'm in a daze. Is this common? It's very scary. 


I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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a99

this is very common in withdrawal , I think it's called derealization , I had it non stop for several months ,  it's getting a tiny bit better . 

it's definitely very scary  and weird . 


On and off prozac from 2010 -2014 .

Several failed fast tapers and reinstatements .

Cold turkey : March  2014 .

-----------------------------------------

took lysanxia 40 mg a day for almost a year
november -14- 2018 weaned to 30 mg
november -26- 2018 weaned to 20 mg
symptoms that got better : fatigue
current symptoms : severe anxiety
one rescue dose (10 mg ) december -15 -2018

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Marta

I also try to study, programming and writing..it's very VERY hard. This anxiety/sense of void makes my brain work sooo slow, I am also very confused,sometimes I also fail words when I speak.....and I do 20% of what I should do...at least low progress is better than no progress...but for me that I need to use physics and maths to work is a very HARD challenge...poor me!!!  :(


Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can SURVIVE!06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10mg (for master degree last year deep stress and abdominal pain somatization) 02/2015 - 04/2015 tapering from 10mg to 0mg for 4/3 weeks FREE feeling totally "normal" then SUDDENLYnever-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, painc, fear, not able to cry, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat for ONE MONTH ZERO IMPROVEMENT30/05/2015 CAN'T bear anymore => reinstated 8mg 06/2015 same symptoms (my GP gave me also benzo for anxiety but I threw them away) 07/2015 same, few tiny improvemets 08/2015 general improving + trying a phosphate supplement (LOW dose) 09/2015 quite stable (supplement finished, no effect) 10/2015 start tapering 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg (hopefully) ->fail back to 4mg AGAIN....8/2016 3mg stable<p>

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katieb

This nasty sympton has just raised its ugly head again for me.I haven't had it for a good while and thought it was over.soo frustrating


Been taking paroxatine for approx 15 years.Tried a few times yo stop but failed. Am currently on 3.5mg liquid

Jan 2016 been slow tapering paroxatine and i am currently at 2.9 mg and last drop was 5 weeks ago.

Started to feel awful about 3 weeks ago with brain ???? , shakes, blurred vision and dizzyness. ..

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imlost2

I get the same symptoms too i cant even look at ,my self in the mirror because i dont reconize my self and then my fear of going mad hits me really bad .


may 1997 break down tried tofranil,Haldol for 2 months,july 97 paxil 20mgs my doctor coldturkey paxil on2002.20mgs celexa  and my doctor switched me to Lexapro 10mgs in 2005 no tapper in 2009 I tried to stop Lexapro too fast  then I reinstated and had a bad reaction switch to pristiq 50mgs for 4 months real bad move and I was put on Xanax 2mgs but it made my anxiety worse the klonopin 2mgs was prescribed in 2009 in 2010 I tapered for one year free from benzos since feb 2011 and left with 10 mgs celexa in 2013 I started my slow tapper 10 mgs in a year so I m antidepressant free since july 2014. So  here is my drug history tofranil,Haldol,paxil,celexa,Lexapro,lamictal,Xanax,klonopin,ativan,pristiq.

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Petunia

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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erer

These are my main symptoms right at the moment. They're very difficult to describe. I feel extremely mentally confused and everything seems weird and surreal and scary and not normal. I get surges of weird feelings overcoming me. Don't know how exactly to explain this, but it's terrible and makes it hard for me to function. I also feel like there's something wrong with the way my eyes process reality. My brain can't function properly. I feel like I'm in a daze. Is this common? It's very scary. 

I have this too and it is one of the most terrible side effects I know and most difficult to bear. I have this intensely right now.


  • 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally.
  • All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015.
  • Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17).

My introduction.

 

Tapering:

  • Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016  /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo).
  • Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018;  4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo)
  • Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 12,5 mg (Feb 2020)

 

Supplements: D3, turmeric, probiotics, magnesium threonate + glycinate, B12+folate, omega 3.

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Horns85

I have this too now. Started about 6 weeks ago at around 8 months off. I have experienced mild forms of this prior to drugs during the few panic attacks I had. Then it only lasted a few hours and I never really thought anything of it.

 

The Derealization I have experienced in WD varies in intensity but is constant and different. A glass wall feeling in my vision along with brain fog. It's very very annoying and has been constant.

 

From the good folks on here and everything I have read, it will pass in time, but can linger for quite a while.

 

It did lift for about an hour one Saturday when I was in what felt like a window and I forgot about it.

 

Here's to hoping this all passes sooner rather than later for us. It will in time.


Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

2016 - 9mg 3/26/16....8mg 5/11/16....7mg 7/05/16....6mg 8/26/16....5mg 10/31/16

2017 - 4mg 3/06/17....3mg 6/24/17....2mg 9/07/17...1.25mg 10/21/17....1mg 11/04/2017

2018 - 0.75mg 1/21/18....0.5mg 2/18/18....0.25mg 3/13/18....0.125mg 3/27/18....0.000 4/9/18

 

Supplements - 15B probiotic on and off. Usually helps w/ mood but sometimes is too activating.

 

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helpless

same here 24 / 7 over a year.

Not having controll over your thoughts and emotion, confusion, no inner monolouge in my head, absolutly dead inside, no personality, can't think about the past or the future, not able to sleep and if then waking up confused, not able to plan, no creativity... like my whole brain has been fried or cut out, my soul taken, my mind raped... whole day suicidal. Those is no ******* medicine, its a ******* torture, antilife, antihumanity, lobotomypill, or suicideidpill would be better name for them. Worst ******* possible death to every doctor who prescribing it like candy and endless suffering in hell with same symthoms, their families should be ******* raped and killed.

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bluebalu86

I hear you helpless. I feel the same way about these doctors and their "medications". I hope they burn in hell for eternity. 


I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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Purplestars22

Helpless, my symptoms are similar to yours but hopefully they will lift soon.


Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Horns85

Anyone get bridge of nose/head pressure with their derealization? Tends to make my vision worse which is already bad with the DR. Or could this just be anxiety which seems to be the basis  Derealization? Thanks!


Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014

10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 201320mg from Feb 2013-June 201310mg from July 2013-April 2014
Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016

2016 - 9mg 3/26/16....8mg 5/11/16....7mg 7/05/16....6mg 8/26/16....5mg 10/31/16

2017 - 4mg 3/06/17....3mg 6/24/17....2mg 9/07/17...1.25mg 10/21/17....1mg 11/04/2017

2018 - 0.75mg 1/21/18....0.5mg 2/18/18....0.25mg 3/13/18....0.125mg 3/27/18....0.000 4/9/18

 

Supplements - 15B probiotic on and off. Usually helps w/ mood but sometimes is too activating.

 

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