Cara1616: stopped Zoloft after 16 years

[Cara1616]

Hey guys! 

 

So here is an abbreviated version of my story. I know you all can relate in some way and I'm looking for a glimmer of hope. I'm so confused.

 

I started Zoloft at age 14 when I was a moody teen with hormonal imbalance due to a lot of my really poor diet habits and extremely negative thinking based on traumas from childhood with an alcoholic father. I had no trouble sleeping just lots of sadness and moodiness around my cycle, and general feelings of hopelessness.

 

So at 14 y/o my doctor put me on 100mg Zoloft and birth control to balance me out. I did well with them! I noticed a "good" feeling that was really strong! I liked it! And I coasted on that for many years while growing and changing into a young adult.

 

When I was 23 in 2011 everything changed. My digestion just stopped working. My guts were a wreck. I was diagnosed with SIBO and food allergies, and Candida,  a few years later and completely revamped my diet and whole way of thinking around food! After cutting dairy and gluten my inflammation levels went WAY down. Amazing change. From 2013-15 I added probiotics, enzymes, and lots of nutritional supplements into my regimen.

 

by 2015 I was seeing much better changes in digestive health but was noticing that the "healthier" I got the more fatigued I felt. It took me 3 days to recover from the gym. It was awful. 

 

in April 2016 I met my amazing partner, Brian, and my hormones changed again. I came off of BC pills and it threw the metabolism of Zoloft through the roof. I immediately had to start tapering off of Zoloft. I did this with a GP at first and a psychiatrist later that year.

 

I first went from 100mg to 50mg with very little withdrawal in 3 weeks or so. I was a little weepy one or two days but that was it. I felt AMAZING at 50mg.

 

By July or so I did 50 to 25 mg but didn't stay at 25 for more than a few weeks. I stopped cold turkey, crashed HARD, almost committed suicide, but I started working with a psychiatrist whom I love and came back up to 25 and stayed there from August til October. In October I went to 17.5mg which was harder but once I stabilized I had so much more energy. Each taper my digestion improved so much and I just felt BETTER!

 

I've always tapered in 6 week cycles. The first three weeks are light and airy, I almost feel even better than before! And at the 21 day mark I crash and my serotonin levels have to rebuild. The second three weeks I'm an anxious, irritable, moody mess with brain zaps and insomnia. But I always balanced. Each time though the world was a little less rosy. I realized I was having my thoughts follow the medication instead of my thoughts generating the good feelings. Still though, at 17.5 I was having the time of my life. It's the last time I remember being so fulfilled.

 

I stayed at 17.5mg until the New Year and that's when everything fell apart in a way.

 

I tapered to 12mg and I had no more brain zaps but lots of emotional trauma showed up. With tapering its like my senses blew wide open. I could SMELL more, TASTE more, colors were more vivid, sounds were louder, and I had this constant anxiety that just never let up. I used subconscious reprogramming work to help harmonize and shift through old patterns and traumas and I slowly learned how to process emotion in a much different way. Lots of self compassion learned in this time. Even still I felt so anxious all the time. 

 

2017 was full of trauma for me...

 

My Dad was dying of cancer

 

Boyfriend wanted me to move with him to another state and I couldn't do it because I would have to have sacrificed everything I worked so hard to build here. I had no idea if we'd make it and I was put face to face with my abandonment issues. He ended up staying here but I was furious with him for a little over a year because of anger of not being "heard."

 

I had a mild traumatic brain injury in March 2017 that didn't heal for awhile. I was functional by May but not fully recovered in August when I went on a roller coaster and hurt myself a little again.

 

I had a UTI that went off the rails in May 2017, healed in June, developed kidney stones in August and it turned into Interstitial Cystitis.

 

In late November I almost completely healed the cystitis but it came back again once I saw my Dad near death.

 

January 2018 I was with my father as he died and was deeply traumatized by it. I let go of so much during this time. I didn't know if I could ever feel joy ever again.

 

My psychiatrist said the Zoloft was no longer working so we tried switching over to Celexa 7.5mg. I took both together as we weaned off Zoloft but by the end of it I was so fed up with not feeling good or like myself anymore and I decided no more. I stopped both the tiny amount of Zoloft I was on and the 5mg or so of Celexa on April 2018. It was sort of cold turkey but not at the same time. 

 

The first 6 weeks of withdrawal were so strange. I simultaneously had the light and airy feeling I always did when coming off Zoloft, but this time it was with the withdrawals of what felt like a junkie. Each system cleared, for two weeks I had pain in my muscles, 2 weeks nerve pain, and 2 weeks joint pain, I can't recall if it was in that order. 

 

I was also using a product called ASEA which changed my life and made it so much more bearable. The withdrawals weren't as irritable as before and I felt a newer sense of vitality. Something started to happen at 8 weeks though. I felt this mounting, raising, anxiety coming back. I knew something was coming up and it was big. My GI health completely tanked even with all my probiotics, enzymes, and supplements. 

 

At 8 weeks off, in May 2018 I was excited because yet again I almost completely healed the cystitis in that airy place I was in. I kept calm and my bladder responded well even though I was having all the pain. But what happened at 8 weeks off everything was I felt this extreme restlessness inside of me and my sleep started to get extremely disturbed. With it my health crashed, cystitis returned, any my lady parts reacted with lots of burning and itching (I was checked and its not a yeast infection)

 

June, July, and August were a blur of night terrors and insomnia. June I woke up contorted and contracted (think t-rex arms) and shaking every night. I felt like I was on another planet and couldn't stay inside my body or grounded. It was hell. July I started to come back more and the sleeping started to level out. By August though, I was having some major spiritual epiphanies and the excitement of it all triggered more waves of severe insomnia. I was up for 36 hours at a time, then slept for 9 hours the next night. I did this over and over for weeks and at that point I really felt like I might actually die. I've always awoken with a lot of adrenaline in the morning, but this was truly explosive. 

 

In September I finally started getting some sleep once I started taking an adrenal supplement and changed my diet to eat a huge variety of healthy foods instead of the ones I was limiting myself to. A few sprays per day and some sleep was happening. That and some Valerian root tea broke the insomnia cycle for me in a big way. That and coming to the spiritual place of knowing that I first had to fully believe in my heart that I was in fact a healthy person, and no longer seeing myself through the lens of being a sick person all the time. This took HARD work. That and letting go of the anger at my boyfriend.

 

I was trying to exercise this whole past year from 2017-2018 but after the cystitis exercising became extremely difficult. I lost core strength and even though I was trying to walk regularly, it wasn't helping me sleep as much as I wanted to. I started to go for a run (historically my sport of choice) and promptly herniated my L3 and developed Runner's knee on both knees with psoas and IT band spasms. I'm now working to heal this as well.

 

In a few days I'll be 6 months off Zoloft and my body feels broken. I know that isn't my truth but sometimes I feel huge anxiety and overwhelm. I'm doing my best to heal from the cystitis, GI troubles (which are improving tremendously even with the sleep deprivation), back issues, all while trying to sleep. The sleep has been the worst. Without it I'm so inflamed all the time and my mind feels completely scrambled. I hit levels of surreality and irritability that I never knew to be possible. But I always trusted that somehow I could get back to me. Last week I only had one 36 hour stretch. This week only one as well. My sleep still heavily depends on adrenal supplementation, magnesium, ASEA, prebiotics, probiotics, and CBD balm at night. Now with some sleep I'm aware that my brain crashes the way it did with my concussion. I wake up, function OK and usually around 1pm my brain melts down and I'm a mess for the rest of the day. With more rest it isn't so bad. Yesterday was extremely stressful which is why I'm writing here to you at almost 5AM. I didn't meditate and do my reprogramming work which has been critical for me. 

 

Has anyone had experiences with really high adrenaline after coming off Zoloft? That and bladder trouble? Severe insomnia? I'm so hopeful someone will respond to this. I feel so hopeless sometimes still. I do my best to pull myself up but I haven't been able to have sex in over a year because of my bladder trouble. It's hurting me so much, physically and emotionally. I know I can heal all of it. I almost healed the bladder twice! But when it all hits at once I sometimes freak out. 

 

Any encouraging words would be so helpful and I would love to get a better idea of a timeline here. I've heard that the first year is the worst. With brain health I get it. It took almost 1 year for my concussion to fully heal. But my god I can't live like this forever. I hope to hear from you soon ❤️

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Cara.

 

On 10/3/2018 at 4:52 AM, Cara1616 said:

My psychiatrist said the Zoloft was no longer working so we tried switching over to Celexa 7.5mg. I took both together as we weaned off Zoloft but by the end of it I was so fed up with not feeling good or like myself anymore and I decided no more. I stopped both the tiny amount of Zoloft I was on and the 5mg or so of Celexa on April 2018. It was sort of cold turkey but not at the same time. 

 

While you were switching from Zoloft to Celexa, did you feel better, worse, or the same?

 

Do your symptoms follow any daily pattern? How's your sleep? Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs and supplements, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

 

It sounds like when you got down to 12.5 Zoloft, you started having withdrawal symptoms. Here's an explanation for that: Why taper? Paper demonstrates importance of gradual change in plasma concentration

 

You had passed the "oh-oh" point in reducing the amount of Zoloft in your body.

 

This site exists because doctors know little about tapering and withdrawal syndrome. What we've found is that reinstating a tiny amount of drug, such as 1mg, can relieve the symptoms. You'd stabilize on this tiny dose for some months, then taper off by miniscule amounts later.

 

In your case, the question is: Reinstate Zoloft, Celexa, or maybe Prozac? We generally go back to the original drug, which would be Zoloft in your case, but Prozac can substitute and is arguably a better drug for tapering later. Also, it sounds like you had an adverse reaction, maybe allergic, to Zoloft, which caused some bodily ills.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

[TreeElf]

Hi @Cara1616, I'm glad you found this site. It's criminal that your brain was altered at such a young age. Our stories are quite similar - medicated as a teen (18), the floating on an ssri for years, withdrawal, spiritual epiphanies, digestion crashing. In terms of the digestion, I believe that's common with withdrawal. I had to very rapidly overhaul my diet to include no grains (not just gluten), sugar, dairy, or alcohol. The digestive issues have thankfully cleared up as long as I stick to my diet, so I hope these start balancing for you soon, and in turn the cystitis. It was mainly a Paleo diet that did the trick.

 

As for the rest, it sounds all very typical of withdrawal. I also began dealing with a lot of 'stuff' through spiritual practice and meditation, and have had huge highs during withdrawal that have been surreal, like mini awakenings. But one thing withdrawal has taught me is how attached I was to these practices, I clung to them so hard as they were my lifeline, my way out suffering. One by one over the last year I've been forced to surrender even spirituality itself...I think of withdrawal as being similar to the awakening process. It rips everything from you layer by layer until you have literally no choice but surrender to everything. And I mean, everything. As you've experienced, it can bring realities you never thought your mind was capable of creating, and there's just no room to hold on to anything. The plus side of this is there are moments when all you can physically do is breath, and focusing on that becomes automatic. It's almost like forced mindfulness of ONLY this moment lol.

 

There really aren't any timelines for this, as you'll see from the other site info. But the main thing I know currently, 1.5 years after beginning my taper, is that you will need to learn extreme patience. The reality is going to be months and years, rather than weeks. It's tough to swallow but the sooner your brain and body registers this fact, the more it will surrender to the process of time. As admin suggests, a tiny reinstatement can save you from the worst of it. I managed to stabilize somewhat after a 5mg reinstatement, although have crashed recently due to an accumulation of factors and external stress. Limiting your stressors is essential, including who you're spending time with, tv programs, facebook, violence of any kind, too much exercise etc.

 

I'm sorry you are suffering like this, but please know you are not alone. Doctors haven't a clue about any of this, but there are people who have been there and are going through it right along with you. Lots of love x

[Noloft]

MHi cara,

 

I too was was put on Zoloft when I was very young, though not for the same reasons. I understand your pain and frustration, and can relate with the exercise issues. 

 

I am now six months of Zoloft and four off everything and from an external standpoint (people looking at my functioning) I am doing somewhat ok for a depressed type person, but internally I am suffering a lot—that doesn’t mean you will be too, hopefully after a year or so you will be trending upwards. I have had a few moments of feeling somewhat ok throughout all this which gives me hope. I’m sure you will too. If you would have seen me sixth months ago compared to now, you would not be talking to the same person. Things are still crazy, but from when I made that first drop and the you know what hit the fan, I am doing much better. 

 

From what I hear cystitis is very difficult to deal with and I can only imagine what you are going through. I hope the cystitis issues improve for you and that they clear up during this process.

 

i have developed a pretty good case of nocturia and neurogenic bladder during my own withdrawal. Bladder issues stink, but I’m sure we will both improve. 

 

i am still struggling with insomnia from withdrawal. BUT It has improved from where I started. I have weeks where I do not sleep well and then periods of improved sleep, though not perfect. What has helped me was being in bed no later than 11. Dark room, and 10mg of melatonin along with Natural calm magnesium powder. My body doesn’t seem to remember how to feel tired, so I kind of need the extra help to get  that sleepiness feeling going. 

 

I have been using using an app called sleep cycle to help gauge the quality of my sleep. It isn’t perfect, but I have noticed that the better it rates the quality of my sleep the better I feel the next morning fatigue/pain wise. Maybe this tool can be helpful in your journey to monitor if your sleep is improving. The alarm is also very gentle, which helps me awaken with less of a jolt—if my adrenaline rushes didn’t wake me already (I get those now too and they really stink but I believe they are withdrawal related and should improve with time). 

 

 

You seem very strong and also you have realistic expectations. This should help during this process. Since you have been through other difficulties and come out on top, I’m sure you’ll do the same with your withdrawal experience. 

 

wishing you luck from the sunshine state,

 

noloft 

 

 

 

 

[Cara1616]

Hi @Altostrata, 

 

Thank you so much for your reply. Been super busy and haven't been able to reply as quickly as I'd like to. 

 

Your advice has been truly eye opening, as that's what I felt when I hit the 12.5mg point. My world truly blew open and the anxiety never ceased. Thank you for helping me understand why for the first time. I love my psychiatrist, but even she didn't warn me!

 

As far as the differences with Celexa and Zoloft, it was like I could feel them both traveling in the same path in my brain, but Zoloft was heavier and more sedating while Celexa was a lighter feeling but less sedating. Not better, just different. Celexa also made me feel extremely amorous which I've heard can be a side effect as well. 

 

I don't think now that at 6 months off I would want to reinstate the drug. Thankfully I've hit some kind of turning point and I'm sleeping again. The combination of everything has been helping and I've now slept really well for over 2 weeks, for the first time in over 3 months. Slowly the world is coming back and I'm feeling more of my body. I'm feeling so much better since when I started this thread. Still a long way to go, but I feel like I'm on the right path. ❤️ 

[Altostrata]

Good to hear you're recovering, Cara. Please let us know how you're doing.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

[Cara1616]

Thank you @Altostrata for all of the info on magnesium and fish oil! I’m currently taking magnesium and it is so incredibly helpful. I’ve been taking fish oil for years and have loved it but for a while stopped taking all supplements when I completely came off because my body was on overload with the 23 pills I was taking every day.  

 

A few weeks ago when I was still having lots of insomnia I took two capsules of fish oil and was instantly reminded of how wonderful they are. My brain loved the feeling of calm but it was such a dramatic contrast from the inflammation that I’ve been feeling that I felt like I was going to need to go to sleep immediately.  I experience a very similar sedating affect with CBD products as well.  What’s funny is that I’m sure that “sedated” feeling is more a feeling of normalcy but I’m just not used to it. I wasn’t able to start taking fish oil again regularly as it did activate my bladder somewhat. However that has been healing quite a bit more so I will try to integrate it again in the near future. 💗

[Cara1616]

Thank you @AbbyElfie  for sharing your story!

 

Our stories are wildly similar! Although I’m so sorry that you had to go through this as well, it’s so comforting to know that I’m not alone amd that others are coming out of this. When I read what your wrote I cried for awhile out of relief that someone really understood the transformation so much.   I can’t begin to tell you how relieving it was to hear how you have been going through the same spiritual epiphanies and changes. It’s so wild that you truly have to surrender to absolutely everything. However I’m so excited because it’s changed me so much and I’m not holding onto things so tight like I used to. 

 

In terms of time, I’m finding that taking it day by day is the best for me. Months and years could very well be the case, and when I recovered from my concussion I remember it took awhile for everything to really feel like “me.” I felt like my head was wet cement and even though that cement had been laid properly (after a few weeks of rest off work), I couldn't just step in it right away! Doing my day to day life I had to do it all very gently and softly so as to not overstimulate myself again and trigger the brain fog, blurred vision, and woozyness that was associated with my mild TBI. 

 

I’m finding that I feel a similar woozyness sometimes in this WD as well. Brain stuff is so tricky.

 

What’s hard is that I can’t talk about WD to my regular doctor without him immediately saying that it is the old concussion affecting me. He can’t get his mind past that idea that Zoloft could be harmful and that it could cause complete nervous system upheaval when it’s removed. 

 

 When I spoke to my psychiatrist last, she confirmed that long-term benzodiazepine use can definitely cause brain damage. I shudder to think what they will find out about SSRI long-term usage in the years to come. 

 

 However, if I can recover from the concussion I definitely feel like I can recover from this! 

 

Thank you so much for all of your support. We’re all in this together 💗🤟💗

[Cara1616]

Hi @Noloft! 

First of all, I love your username 😍

Thank you so much for your support and kind words.  I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing better than you were a few months ago. I’m sure it’s not where you want to be yet but if this progress is any indication for you I’m sure you will continue to improve!

 

The cystitis is difficult to deal with but is completely connected with my G.I. health and my stress levels. When one goes, they all seem to go. However I’m finding new ways to lower stress (mainly through subconscious reprogramming work) and when I do this for long enoughthe bladder  does start to heal. I think it’s that I’ve been deeply inflamed for such a long time that my whole body is still figuring out how to calm down. In your post you described it perfectly! It’s like my body forgets how to be tired (or relaxed)!

 

Thank you for your recommendations with sleep! For me I’ve noticed that around 9:30 my body likes to start to wind down. I’ve started taking magnesium supplement as well and it’s been super effective!  I’m so sorry you get the adrenaline rushes too. It makes waking up feel like a small heart attack, doesn’t it? But like you said I’m sure all of this will continue to improve with time as well. 

 

Thank you again for your words of assurance. Honestly it helps to just hear (or read) someone telling you “you got this.” When I ask for hardcore support from the same people over and over I feel it’s hard on them. They can’t really quite understand it the way this community does. 

 

Best of luck to you as well! I’d love to stay in touch and see how you are feeling!

 

💗🤟💗

[Noloft]

Glad I could help Cara. 

[TreeElf]

@Cara1616 I'm really glad you feel not so alone! It's such a crazy journey. I recently wrote a post in the Finding Meaning section of this site called 'confusing spiritual experiences in withdrawal', if you'd like to check it out and add any thoughts. Also, in terms of your doctor, last week I typed up a letter that included a lot of info from this site and other articles online and sent it to my doctor. I posted a generic version of the letter on a post on here (in the In The Media section), so if you'd like to use it and add in your own personal info, it might help your doc understand a bit better. It might be worth a try.

 

Taking one day at a time is definitely the way to go. It sounds like you're doing all the right things and I'm confident you will come through this much stronger and more aware. Keep us updated on how things are, I'm also on Instagram if you ever wanted to connect or reach out (@AbbyElfie). Have a great day x

[India]

On 10/7/2018 at 4:18 AM, Noloft said:

i have developed a pretty good case of nocturia and neurogenic bladder during my own withdrawal. Bladder issues stink, but I’m sure we will both improve. 

Also have bladder issues which I believe citalopram has a role in . Sensitised, overactive  bladder, always feeling pressure in my bladder . Having to go at night frequently . Frequent  urination  and urgency. So far, urology tests have revealed nothing.. Know someone else who started citalopram and had frequent urination symptoms shed never had before. 

[Cara1616]

3 hours ago, India said:

Also have bladder issues which I believe citalopram has a role in . Sensitised, overactive  bladder, always feeling pressure in my bladder . Having to go at night frequently . Frequent  urination  and urgency. So far, urology tests have revealed nothing.. Know someone else who started citalopram and had frequent urination symptoms shed never had before. 

 

Wow! I’m so so sorry to hear that.  I hear that bladder problems can be so common with these SSRI’s when they’re on the way out. Have your bladder symptoms been gradually improving as time goes by?

[kelly7]

Hi cara I am currently 11 weeks post finishing my last zoloft. For 7 weeks may be more the insomnia is mind blowing I'm not getting to sleep for nights on end my minds awake I have ringing in my ears I cannot drop off as my body goes into fight or flight mode I panic and my heart bears fast this goes on all night long. It's worsening and compounding my ability to function. I don't know whether to try carry on or up my mirtazipine at night! Can you provide reassurance advice encouragement..I'm currently at the end of mh tether t feels like this is never going to end. I worry I can't do it anymore it feels like I can't. The only time I sleep is witb zopiclone which I am taking very sparingly. Which leaves me so out of it the next day I can't win. 

 

Kelly 

[Cara1616]

6 hours ago, kelly7 said:

Hi cara I am currently 11 weeks post finishing my last zoloft. For 7 weeks may be more the insomnia is mind blowing I'm not getting to sleep for nights on end my minds awake I have ringing in my ears I cannot drop off as my body goes into fight or flight mode I panic and my heart bears fast this goes on all night long. It's worsening and compounding my ability to function. I don't know whether to try carry on or up my mirtazipine at night! Can you provide reassurance advice encouragement..I'm currently at the end of mh tether t feels like this is never going to end. I worry I can't do it anymore it feels like I can't. The only time I sleep is witb zopiclone which I am taking very sparingly. Which leaves me so out of it the next day I can't win. 

 

Kelly 

Hi @kelly7! Thank you for reaching out. We're all in this together. I'm so sorry about the horrific insomnia. I know it all too well. Please know that you're doing a great thing coming off this medication. You will make it through this. It takes time but you will and you already are. ❤️ 

 

I have a couple of questions for you, first off, how long were you on citalopram before switching to zoloft? And what was your tapering schedule? Seven months from 100 to none could be kind of fast depending on how long it takes for your body to adjust at each level. The first time I tapered I did it too fast and had really wild insomnia. Even after coming off of it all completely after extremely slow tapering, I had insomnia, but not as horrific as before. Like @Altostrata mentioned, sometimes reinstating a very tiny dosage of the drug, like 1mg can take the edge off. 

 

I'm not familiar with mirtrazipine and zopiclone so I'm not sure how those work, could you tell me a little more?

 

When you start to sleep again (and you will I promise!), you may feel worse before you feel better. It takes time to rebalance the brain, and after your first solid night of sleep you may feel like you've been hit by a truck but it will pass. The compounding effects of sleep deprivation are so very real. It feels harder to "get back" when you've been far away for so long. It creates more inflammation which makes it even harder to think and causes more of the physical/neurological symptoms like your ear ringing. That's where, for me, supplementation was key. It really helps break the cycle.

 

The liver oil, B vitamins, and melatonin you're taking are all excellent. I've tried several different types of magnesium and one gave me so much anxiety I wanted to explode while the other sedated me and helped me sleep. What kind of magnesium are you taking and do you notice a difference? I also take adrenal support so I don't do into sky high fight or flight mode so quickly. I use a glandular formula, so its the actual hormones from a bovine adrenal gland to help my body remember how to be calm and not blast off so quickly. Some people like glandulars, others like the herbal route. Ashwaganda is incredible for adrenals as well!

 

I want to say that you really are doing an amazing job and considering its only been 11 weeks, you're so early into your journey, so please give yourself credit where it's due. So many people get stuck on these meds for life once they start, so you're doing amazing just by making the choice to show up in this way. It takes incredible courage to be uncomfortable (putting it mildly) for so long. 

 

What helped me the most was doing my best to cultivate an inner knowing, that I am getting through it, and using meditation and subconscious reprogramming work to help limiting beliefs in my life about myself and even my current circumstances of withdrawal. When I stopped questioning if I could ever sleep again and made the decision that I absolutely am sleeping again because I love myself enough to and it feels kinder to tell myself this than not, everything changed. I slept that night and the nights after so soundly, with only occasional hiccups. If you'd like I can help you with this, having been through it, or I could refer you to other practitioners who have helped me. 

 

Bottom line, YOU GOT THIS. I promise. Your nature is to heal and be whole. It'll take some time to balance back out, but you will get there, and you are already walking a brave path ❤️  

[Altostrata]

Hi, Cara, how are you doing now?

[kelly7]

On 10/27/2018 at 7:18 PM, Cara1616 said:

Hi @kelly7! Thank you for reaching out. We're all in this together. I'm so sorry about the horrific insomnia. I know it all too well. Please know that you're doing a great thing coming off this medication. You will make it through this. It takes time but you will and you already are. ❤️ 

 

I have a couple of questions for you, first off, how long were you on citalopram before switching to zoloft? And what was your tapering schedule? Seven months from 100 to none could be kind of fast depending on how long it takes for your body to adjust at each level. The first time I tapered I did it too fast and had really wild insomnia. Even after coming off of it all completely after extremely slow tapering, I had insomnia, but not as horrific as before. Like @Altostrata mentioned, sometimes reinstating a very tiny dosage of the drug, like 1mg can take the edge off. 

 

I'm not familiar with mirtrazipine and zopiclone so I'm not sure how those work, could you tell me a little more?

 

When you start to sleep again (and you will I promise!), you may feel worse before you feel better. It takes time to rebalance the brain, and after your first solid night of sleep you may feel like you've been hit by a truck but it will pass. The compounding effects of sleep deprivation are so very real. It feels harder to "get back" when you've been far away for so long. It creates more inflammation which makes it even harder to think and causes more of the physical/neurological symptoms like your ear ringing. That's where, for me, supplementation was key. It really helps break the cycle.

 

The liver oil, B vitamins, and melatonin you're taking are all excellent. I've tried several different types of magnesium and one gave me so much anxiety I wanted to explode while the other sedated me and helped me sleep. What kind of magnesium are you taking and do you notice a difference? I also take adrenal support so I don't do into sky high fight or flight mode so quickly. I use a glandular formula, so its the actual hormones from a bovine adrenal gland to help my body remember how to be calm and not blast off so quickly. Some people like glandulars, others like the herbal route. Ashwaganda is incredible for adrenals as well!

 

I want to say that you really are doing an amazing job and considering its only been 11 weeks, you're so early into your journey, so please give yourself credit where it's due. So many people get stuck on these meds for life once they start, so you're doing amazing just by making the choice to show up in this way. It takes incredible courage to be uncomfortable (putting it mildly) for so long. 

 

What helped me the most was doing my best to cultivate an inner knowing, that I am getting through it, and using meditation and subconscious reprogramming work to help limiting beliefs in my life about myself and even my current circumstances of withdrawal. When I stopped questioning if I could ever sleep again and made the decision that I absolutely am sleeping again because I love myself enough to and it feels kinder to tell myself this than not, everything changed. I slept that night and the nights after so soundly, with only occasional hiccups. If you'd like I can help you with this, having been through it, or I could refer you to other practitioners who have helped me. 

 

Bottom line, YOU GOT THIS. I promise. Your nature is to heal and be whole. It'll take some time to balance back out, but you will get there, and you are already walking a brave path ❤️  

Hi @Cara1616 I thanl you so much for replying it 6am and I've been up all night again. I just wanted to ask you what exact supplements you take and brands please as I've stopped all mine i feared my system was just getting too much of things and I just thought detox was the best way but maybe not.? You mention ashwaganda and adrenal support can you let me know which ones you take. ? The magnezium I took did make me feel worse and anxiety worse. 

 

I was on ciralopram 3 ish years prior to switching over to sertraline. Before that thought I had an attempt at coming off and ended up in the biggest mess known to man and ended up on mirtazipine ciralopram and pregabilin all in an aid to get me sleeping again as the same thing that's happening now happened then so it seems withdrawl effects me in the sleep aspect to the extreme. I've spent the last three years weaning off pregabilin and ciralopram/sertraline only to find myself here again. 

 

I am 12 weeks this Friday free and I want this to end...I'm not sure about reinstating a dose does this really work ? Especially as I'm so far a long?

 

When did your sleep come back was it as simple as telling yourself you can? How many weeks months post your last tablet did it return ?.

 

If love some help on the whole positive thinking because with no sleep continuously I am jyst about holding it together let alone thinking positive I really try though. 

 

How far are you a long your journey now? 

 

Thank you again you've given me some hope and I'm looking forward to hearing from you 

[Cara1616]

On 10/27/2018 at 12:05 PM, Altostrata said:

Hi, Cara, how are you doing now?

Hi @Altostrata!

 

I'm hanging in there, doing ok! I'm having a little bit of sleep disturbance after 3 solid weeks of blissful sleep which was so disheartening. The injury in my back was activated when I pushed myself too far on a couple of levels. It increased some inflammation as I can be profoundly affected by going to bed too late. I went to bed at 2 am last Thursday and Saturday night and it wrecked me. I never fully recovered and then with that it aggravated my back and I had a major flare up that almost sent me back to the beginning. I was devastated by the setback and so anxious I was up for a full 24 hours. I slept somewhat ok this past week but had massive inflammation and wasn't able to do my subconscious work for two days in a row which can really throw me off. The subconscious work really calms my whole system. Without it I feel usually very anxious and have a hard time calming and controlling my thoughts. Without it I had some more sleep disturbances on Friday and Sat night, getting to bed closer to midnight which is not good for me. So today I've had another 24 hour cycle awake. I'm frustrated but I know I need to be extra gentle. Slow and steady. Some past suppressed trauma from my father's death has been coming up and I'm just now starting to completely process that, so there's been lots of tears but I know it needs to come and happen. So it's been a mixed bag, but I know I will be able to come through again and get to a place of restful sleep. Valerian root is on the menu for tonight 🙂

[Cara1616]

4 hours ago, kelly7 said:

Hi @Cara1616 I thanl you so much for replying it 6am and I've been up all night again. I just wanted to ask you what exact supplements you take and brands please as I've stopped all mine i feared my system was just getting too much of things and I just thought detox was the best way but maybe not.? You mention ashwaganda and adrenal support can you let me know which ones you take. ? The magnezium I took did make me feel worse and anxiety worse. 

 

I was on ciralopram 3 ish years prior to switching over to sertraline. Before that thought I had an attempt at coming off and ended up in the biggest mess known to man and ended up on mirtazipine ciralopram and pregabilin all in an aid to get me sleeping again as the same thing that's happening now happened then so it seems withdrawl effects me in the sleep aspect to the extreme. I've spent the last three years weaning off pregabilin and ciralopram/sertraline only to find myself here again. 

 

I am 12 weeks this Friday free and I want this to end...I'm not sure about reinstating a dose does this really work ? Especially as I'm so far a long?

 

When did your sleep come back was it as simple as telling yourself you can? How many weeks months post your last tablet did it return ?.

 

If love some help on the whole positive thinking because with no sleep continuously I am jyst about holding it together let alone thinking positive I really try though. 

 

How far are you a long your journey now? 

 

Thank you again you've given me some hope and I'm looking forward to hearing from you 

Hi @kelly7!

 

No worries my dear, totally here for you. I'm so sorry you've been up all night again. I actually had a 24 hour awake episode recently due to some lack of self care, and I'm getting a lot stricter about my sleeping guidelines. At 9:30pm every night I stop what I'm doing and start winding down. Reading, meditating, whatever it may be, I do a relaxing activity, take my night time supplements and begin to decompress. 

If you felt your system was overloaded, definitely listen to that. I've gotten carried away with supplements before and at one point was taking 26 pills/day in the name of "health." I had to really change my diet recently and I feel I'm getting more of what I need now that way. If your body needs a break, listen to it and take the break. It'll help so much. However, if or when you want to try something again, I use the Adrenal Supplement called "Adrenal Cortex" by Super Good Stuff (I know, love the brand name, and its totally true) Here's the link to it: https://www.supergoodstuff.com/adrenal-fatigue-supplement.html. Aside from that I'm taking Hyperbiotic's Prebiotic, Florajen Digestion Probiotic, The Adrenal Cortex spray, the magnesium, and a product called ASEA.  

 

Certain types of magnesium can really make you really anxious. This one made me feel so calm where others failed:

https://hormonebalancenutritionals.com/collections/single-products/products/magnesium-replenish

 

ASEA is truly the only reason I think I've been able to come off these meds with even mild success. It's a redox signaling molecule supplement, basically the body's way of communicating with itself. Our body makes these molecules all day every day to tell cells what to do and share information, but when we get older or we're under a ton of stress, or there are environmental factors, we aren't able to signal as well. Our bodies are exposed to so much crap everyday and with meds like these in the system it takes a lot of time to clean out and reestablish homeostasis. When I took it, at first I could only take a dropper full because it was so powerful and my system was so overloaded. Now I can take 3 oz every day and it really balances me out. Without it I feel the inflammation and wobble feeling start to take hold again. You can only get it from a distributor though, so don't be fooled by amazon. Their stuff isn't the real thing. If you'd like I can connect you to a FB group that has tons of testimonials of people who have used it to come off of antidepressants. It makes withdrawal a lot easier than it could be, and I can connect you to people who distribute.

 

I went ahead and looked at some of your other posts and got more of a picture of how you tapered. It looks like it may have been a little fast which is totally understandable because we all want this stuff out of our systems, but our nervous systems really need to adjust very slowly and with a lot of TLC. @Altostrata is a great resource here for helping with tiny reinstatement if you'd like. I personally didn't as I had been off for so long that coming back on didn't feel like an option, especially after the detox symptoms I went through, I had been on 16 years though, so I had tons of joint, nerve, and muscle pain on the way out. If it's completely unmanageable right now there's nothing wrong with a little extra support, just to get you a little more mental clarity for now. Again, you're doing an amazing thing ❤️  

 

I stopped taking meds April 6, so just over 6 months off meds, and I didn't have sleep issues until the end of May or so, so about 8 weeks off after the initial detox is when things got hairy for me as far as sleep. June, July, and August were riddled with insomnia, and only in September did I start to get some more regular sleep. Valerian root for me was a huge help too, for the nights I knew I would need extra help. It helped me break the cycle. I take it in the form of Traditional Medicinals Tea. 

 

When my sleep came back, I was having a lot of sort of "spiritual epiphanies" and letting go of a ton of emotional baggage. The highs and lows of this process can make you feel like a genius at times and then send you crashing into the darkness. But for me the insomnia put me in a place where I had to face some of these things. I used a LOT of subconscious programming work to get my mind, body, and spirit on board with my intention of sleeping again. It didn't happen overnight, but it eventually did happen all the same ❤️  If I had just told myself I could sleep again my mind would have initially been like, "bullsh*t!" so it takes awhile to change that current. But subconscious work definitely does work. I'm a certified practitioner of it and practice it on myself and have several practitioners who have helped me tremendously. I'd be happy to work with you or refer you to one of my "dream team" that totally helped me. Some of them have gone through AD withdrawal too so they get it. 

 

I don't know how you are with sounds, but there's an amazing track that I listen to almost daily that helps me get really grounded, especially after a night of poor sleep. Binaural beats are tones that when you wear headphones, it emits two different frequencies, usually to the soundtrack of some relaxation music too, and what happens is your brain hears the two different frequencies and generates a third tone. It helps the two sides of the brain work together and is amazing for helping heal TBI and nerves and the brain as it can create Delta waves states in the brain. 

 

Try this one out when you're having trouble sleeping! https://youtu.be/5wNkBjuU5jk

 

Please let me know how you're doing. We're all in this together and we got this ❤️