Rachellynn: Prozac & Remeron support :)

[Rachellynn]

5th night - no sleep. 

[Rachellynn]

Is there a moderator that can please help me? If you don’t mind...❤️ I’ve been having insomnia really badly and getting worse for 3 months. I am on remeron for sleep but it stopped working. Everyone around me is pushing to get back on Prozac to stabilize and taper at some point. I know it’s not guaranteed to work but i don’t know what else to do. I feel like adding more sleeping pills is worse. I am not sure how much longer i can handle sleeping one hour per night. Please please - any advice would be so very welcome and helpful❤️

[powerback]

HI RL ,you poor thing not getting sleep ,I came to visit your thread because you were kind to visit my own .

im no mod so I cant say much about the meds ,keep researching sleep hygiene,look into your routine ,foods ,caffeine ,everything .

keep digging dip and watch out for any coping strategies that will harm you rather than heal you .

Im not up to posting much myself ,im in the trenches .

Be safe .

[Rachellynn]

Thank you for stopping by, it means a lot. I’m obsessing over sleep...i guess that’s not helping me at all. 😭❤️

[Aquarius]

From reading your thread i feel you are where i was ..obsessing over things trying this trying that blaming this blaming that wondering why nothing us working ....unfortunately all this thinking can stress you out and our systems are already stressed...you say the mirt stopped working but maybe it didn't maybe its the stress from every thing else and all this chopping and changing...at some point you have to decide on a way forward and stick to it no chopping and changing i personally think you have wound yourself up too much and causing sleep problems...sometimes its not what we take or do but its all the change keep it simple and stick to it let your system stabilise..i take 15mg mirt in evening and mag and onega 3 in morning things dont right themselves straight away but the key is to keep it the same ...i wish you all the best ...

[Rachellynn]

I hear you. I agree - too much stress. It’s just weird that i actually can/do relax and sleep/rest from 7 or 8pm until 11:30 and then I’m awake. All night. I hope it calms down. Thank you for your response. I know I’m going up and down. I should prob try to stay at 15mg i guess... thank you again❤️

[Rachellynn]

My sister smokes weed and listens to a book on her phone every night to sleep. I’m so jealous. 

[Aquarius]

That's what i have taken on board...stick to a choice and dont expect a quick fix ...dont panic if its not working straight away just be consistant take back some control and beleive you will get better and stop stressing over it as you are keeping the anxiety going ....i think i resigned myself i was going to feel rubbish i sticking to a choice..i think once you decided you are going to stick to something you start to relax about it as the stress comes from indecision please stick to a path it may be a bumpy ride but eventually you will cone to the newly tarmaced road ...keep it simple im assuming you eat healthy no alcohol or caffiene ..

[powerback]

20 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

I hear you. I agree - too much stress. It’s just weird that i actually can/do relax and sleep/rest from 7 or 8pm until 11:30 and then I’m awake. All night. I hope it calms down. Thank you for your response. I know I’m going up and down. I should prob try to stay at 15mg i guess... thank you again❤️

you need to stop resting so late in the evening ,keep active around the house or your mind busy and distracted.i settle down about 8 and wind down and sleep about 22.00 and up around 7.wake once or twice.

the first year I had to sleep during the day but I set an alarm and I kept working on getting my body into circadian rhythm mode .  

Maybe give yourself a rule and not be on SA after a certain time if it makes you think or trigger you. This all sticks in our minds.

Aquarius is correct ,you could be working yourself up also .

🙏 

 

[Rachellynn]

Thank you. Yes. I’m definitely working myself up. Constantly ruminating over what to do and how to sleep. Like i said, everyone i know wants me back on Prozac and i don’t even want to be on this remeron (because it stopped working) hopefully it can work again. I need to release my fear too - i think i have a subconscious fear of sleep when i don’t feel well/am sleep deprived. 

[Rachellynn]

I am going suicidal at this point - nearly a week with zero sleep. I’m really just recently coming to terms with the fact that my “illness” came from Prozac withdrawal - it happened a year after i stopped the meds. I really really really need a moderators input. 

 

I am sleeping 1-2 hours per night if I’m lucky. If i go to a hospital and tell them I’m suicidal - I’ll go to a hospital and be poly-drugged. I don’t want that...but i need something. The insomnia hit three months ago after emotional and physical stressors and i am at my wits end. Please, please help🙏🏼❤️

[Aquarius]

You need to deep breathe and calm down is there a friend or family member you can call i find talking to someone distracts me ...it sounds like you have worked yourself up into a panic please try and calm down ...you are stronger than you think you can do this you will be ok please find something to distract you ..you will be ok ...

[Rachellynn]

I can’t take it. Everyone around me is evolving. Having children. My baby sister just got married and is talking about having babies and I’m this nothing. These drugs turned me into nothing and after a hard childhood too. It’s too much. 

[dj2010]

2 hours ago, Rachellynn said:

Thank you. Yes. I’m definitely working myself up. Constantly ruminating over what to do and how to sleep. Like i said, everyone i know wants me back on Prozac and i don’t even want to be on this remeron (because it stopped working) hopefully it can work again. I need to release my fear too - i think i have a subconscious fear of sleep when i don’t feel well/am sleep deprived. 

 

Sounds like the remeron might have gone paradoxical, might be worth speaking to a mod about reducing it or if taking at night time then moving it to earlier in the day

[Rachellynn]

I’m trying to hear from a mod. I don’t have many interactions so I’m not sure how to get their attention 😕

[Aquarius]

Bless you ..you are really going into an emotional spiral your mind is convincing you that everyone has this happy life and you havent ... believe me when i say its all a lie just a state of mind that you are in at the moment....you have your whole life ahead of you and there is no hurry all those things will happen for you in time you havebto beleive that but you must get better first please concentrate on that and not what everyone else is doing ...you will have a wonderful life its waiting for you no hurry..

[Aquarius]

You could try using the @ then their name 

[Rachellynn]

33 minutes ago, Aquarius said:

Bless you ..you are really going into an emotional spiral your mind is convincing you that everyone has this happy life and you havent ... believe me when i say its all a lie just a state of mind that you are in at the moment....you have your whole life ahead of you and there is no hurry all those things will happen for you in time you havebto beleive that but you must get better first please concentrate on that and not what everyone else is doing ...you will have a wonderful life its waiting for you no hurry..

Thank you Aquarius. I could almost say I love you right now. I can’t properly see with  very little sleep in the last three months. The stress is really getting to me. I don’t really know any of the moderators. @Altostrata Can you perhaps assist? Or is there anyone else that could help me? Thank you. 

[eymen23]

Rachellynn,

 

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling so much.

 

Please remember that we are unrostered mods doing this voluntarily, and most of us have our own withdrawal symptoms to cope with. I can appreciate you are really in the thick of it, but please understand that we are not able to pick up on all posts and respond immediately. 

 

I’m reading back through your previous posts and it seems you have already reinstated Prozac? I believe first at 2mg and then 4mg? Please can you clarify exactly how you’ve dosed this since reinstating and update your signature to reflect these changes? It may well be the case that you’re having an adverse reaction to the Prozac as you reported not sleeping at all after moving to 4mg.

 

Please can you describe as best possible how your symptoms have changed as you’ve reinstated Prozac and upped the dosage? I know we are meeting your questions with more questions, but it’s really important that we understand all the changes you have made and the potential impact, otherwise it’s very difficult for us to assist in any useful way. Chessie previously asked you to provide symptoms notes. Please can you start keeping these in the appropriate format and post them, as they really help us in trying to untangle what may be happening. 

 

If you are having suicidal thoughts and urges, please seek out on-the-ground support. We can only help so much via this site. Anybody you trust may be appropriate, such as a family member or close friend. I see from your location you’re based in Walnut Creek, and some googling suggests this is in California. If you really need to speak to somebody there is a 24/7 crisis centre locally and I’ve linked that below.

 

https://www.crisis-center.org/

 

I really do apologise if my post comes across as lacking compassion, I can assure that we really do want to help. However, we need as much information as possible to do so. 

Edited February 10, 2019 by eymen23

[Rachellynn]

Hi there. Am i supposed to do daily symptoms? I wasn’t sure. I did reinstate for like a week and then freaked out and backed away. I also tried trazadone 50mg and i hated it. I’m really messing up throwing everything at my poor body. I must learn patience. 

 

Last night until now:

 

4:00pm - bad anxiety

4:00-5:00pm - Dinner and birthday Cake

5:00-5:30 - played a game with my family

5:30pm - had chamomile tea

6:00 - laid down with my sister to watch tv, she was rubbing my back - super calming but was having some skipped heart beats 

7:00 - took 7.5mg remeron and Holy Basil

7:30 - nodded off a bit

11:00pm - woke up, stressed, saw that it was 11 (started period - sorry for TMI) and stressed more.

At some point took 1/2 7.5 remeron and 1/2 of 1mg remeron 

Writing on here and crying until 7am, 

7am - chamomile tea

7:30 - pecans and banana

8:00am - adrenal cocktail (coconut water, salt, orange) family is up, i let my dog out, fed her. Cried. 

9:00am - breakfast with family, eggs and toast with avicado, nettles tea 

10:00 - feeling tired, dizzy, stressed, not sure weather to go on a jog or back to bed - can’t sleep tho. 

 

Prozac seems too activating right now without a strong sedative to sleep/deal with. Considering Valium. I just don’t want to end up here again but not sure how to heal without sleep. 

 

Wrote to a Dr. who suggested i look into limbac retraining. Ugh. 

 

Thank you you for the reply. Let me know what more you need. I’m sorry - I’m out of it. 

 

 

 

[Aquarius]

You have such an opportunity now i know that sounds bizarre but even though ive had some really bad times and thoughts its also been an opportunity to evaluate my life to take a good look at it and realise whatci really want from it ....i know you are in a bad place at the moment but maybe take a minute to think about your life and what you want for it in the future when you are well and think about the things that have held you back and how maybe you can change things for the better ...we are not the same person we were yesterday and we will not be the same person tomorrow..you can be whatever you want be whoever you want ti be its alll there for you just have faith...i beleive in you you have the strength to do this 

[eymen23]

13 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

Hi there. Am i supposed to do daily symptoms? I wasn’t sure. I did reinstate for like a week and then freaked out and backed away. I also tried trazadone 50mg and i hated it. I’m really messing up throwing everything at my poor body. I must learn patience. 

 

 

Please can you confirm exactly which date you started Prozac, what doses you took and which date you stopped it? You will need to do the same for the Trazadone and the Holy Basil.

 

Please update your signature to reflect all of this.

Edited February 10, 2019 by eymen23

[Rachellynn]

Jan 31 - feb 5 - 2mg Prozac

feb 7 - 4mg Prozac 

feb 8 - 50mg trazadone 

feb 9 - 600mg Holy Basil

[Rachellynn]

21 minutes ago, Aquarius said:

..i know you are in a bad place at the moment but maybe take a minute to think about your life and what you want for it in the future when you are well and think about the things that have held you back and how maybe you can change things for the better ...

I know. You are so right. I was on a better path. Low dose medication. Able to work a bit. Feeling happy sometimes. I even performed in a dance show/started dancing and doing yoga again but stress got to me again. Physical and emotional and here i am again. I am just so shocked to be here again after feeling like i was on such a good uphill trajectory. I pray for myself to have all the happiness i see all around me. I have so much love to give and i am a really good person. I am having a hard time accepting this. 

[eymen23]

9 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

Jan 31 - feb 5 - 2mg Prozac

feb 7 - 4mg Prozac 

feb 8 - 50mg trazadone 

feb 9 - 600mg Holy Basil

 

Rachellynn,

 

There are a lot of changes since January 31st. Please can you try and list how your symptoms have changed since you started trialling the above?

[Rachellynn]

Just now, eymen23 said:

 

Rachellynn,

 

There are a lot of changes since January 31st. Please can you try and list how your symptoms have changed since you started trialling the above?

Honestly not a lot of changes, a bit more anxiety, stomach pains last night after dinner. It’s just the insomnia has gone from bad to worse. Trazadone seemed to keep me up and make my nose stuffy so i only tried it once. The Prozac - I’m not sure i felt anything with it but am just kind of scared of that drug. Holy Basil did seem to calm me but didn’t put me to sleep. I usually get sleepy and drift to sleep at about 7-11pm no matter what I’ve tried. But can’t sleep any other times of the day/night. It’s been about a solid week since i got 6 hours straight sleep and that was with 1mg Ativan and 7.5mg remeron (the only time i was brave enough to take that much Ativan) - before that i did try 15mg remeron and it put me to sleep for 15 hours that night but felt depressed the next day so went back to 7,5mg. Ugh. I’m a mess, I’m sorry:/

[Rachellynn]

And sadly...the best I’ve ever felt in my life was on 40mg Prozac. So i thought if i could get back on and then stabilize for a year, i could taper over the next ten years if need be. To feel whole again. 

[eymen23]

I’m trying my best to decipher your post above. 

 

Can you confirm, your insomnia has gotten worse since you started and stopped the Prozac? 

 

How often are you using Ativan? 

[eymen23]

Also when did you go to 15mg of Remeron and for how long? 

 

Please can you make this a little easier for us Rachellynn. I appreciate you are struggling but we need to know every change you have made recently. You seem to be chopping and changing things very regularly. 

[Rachellynn]

Yes. I know. I’m so sorry. About a month ago i tried going up to 10mg and it helped for two days, then i went up to 15mg and it helped for one night. Insomnia has been worse since starting and stopping the Prozac but has been pretty consistently horrific the last three months so it’s really kind of hard to say. That’s the whole reason I’m losing my mind trying all this stuff to get some sleep - my family, Dr’s are urging some of this stuff too. But i realize i must stop all this and just choose something. So thank you for your patience. 

[Altostrata]

RL, what happened when you took 2mg Prozac Jan 31 - feb 5?

 

What happened after you increased to 4mg?

 

Whenever you make a drug change, we need to observe and see what happens. The daily notes are very helpful for that.

[Aquarius]

Stop thinking about who you used to be and concentrate on who you are now and getting better ...you say Mirt isnt working now but according to your notes you take it around seven and then say you feel tired or sleep until 11.00 so maybe it is working ?? Just a thougjt 

[Rachellynn]

2 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

RL, what happened when you took 2mg Prozac Jan 31 - feb 5?

 

What happened after you increased to 4mg?

 

Whenever you make a drug change, we need to observe and see what happens. The daily notes are very helpful for that.

Honestly - i didn’t really notice a difference. Same old insomnia 😕 

[Rachellynn]

1 minute ago, Aquarius said:

Stop thinking about who you used to be and concentrate on who you are now and getting better ...you say Mirt isnt working now but according to your notes you take it around seven and then say you feel tired or sleep until 11.00 so maybe it is working ?? Just a thougjt 

Yeah maybe, i just don’t understand the continual waking up at 11. The other night i waited until 9 and still was up at 11. Nothing makes sense anymore. 

[Altostrata]

Did the Prozac affect anything else?

 

Are you still taking Ativan? If yes, how often? Are you still taking mirtazapine?

[Rachellynn]

2 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

Honestly - i didn’t really notice a difference. Same old insomnia 😕 

@Altostrata at 2mg i wasn’t sure I’d notice anything tho at 10mg it has certainly been activating for two weeks while becoming acclimated to it. I just got scared to go down that road again. 

 

But now im feeling like, sleep has to trump all of this right?!