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Rachellynn

Rachellynn: Prozac & Remeron support :)

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savinggrace

Hi Rachellyn,

 

I have read the last few days of your posts.  I think  I understand what you have been doing and I completely understand how very desperate you feel.

 

One thing of note, it does look like your menstrual cycle affects you symptoms, but if it were me, I would not add hormones into this mix.  Maybe knowing this will give you some hope as yoo cycle in and out of this each month.  Knowing there is an end in sight would really help me.  Knowing that your symptoms will ebb as your cycle moves on may help.

 

I strongly encourage you NOT to keep taking the trazadone.  15 years ago, when I was flailing around and my doctor was too, he gave me a dose of trazodone that "would knock out a horse."  I did not sleep a wink that night and felt like I had the flu the next day.  I have met several people here who got stuck on trazodone just like any of the other drugs we are all sick from.

 

If someone had told me 15 years ago, that the poly-drug cocktail I ended up on would sabotage my life, I would have done what I needed to do to NOT go on one.  Today it has me almost disabled and wondering what the heck to do...which drug to taper or not to taper, when and how much.

 

I urge you to listen to whatever the mods advise you here and stick to it.  The ativan MIGHT be helping a wee bit now, but if you keep going with it, it will make things much worse.

 

Sounds like the Prozac is activating to me...maybe just stick with remeron and tough out the acute withdrawal?  I don't know, Rachellynn, there is no easy answer here. When you take more remeron does it help?  It may have pooped out, but it also might be all the other factors combined that make it not work.

 

Herbs can interact with drugs and make them less potent.  Even chamomile tea and especially Valerian.

 

I know this is not what you want to hear the answer, but there is no definitive one.  We all have to ultimately decide a path, and try to stick with it.  What we definitely also know, is that the more changes that we make, the more sensitive our brain becomes.

 

I write this after a whole night of sweating and dsypnea, not knowing what I am going to do next either...but distraction is my coping mechanism.  Admittedly, on the really bad days I just try to get through the day telling myself "tomorrow will be better."

 

One comment on comparing your life to others'....don't do it.  The best thing I learned from a previous therapist was "Don't compare others' outsides to their insides."  

 

Grace

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Rachellynn

Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. Everything definitely gets worse during my period and the week after...but i have been not sleeping and crying every day for a couple months now. This has to be one of the hardest things in the world. I am not sure if I’ll recover because i had early childhood adversity. 

 

I dont want to hurt myself further but I’m in this alone and the “professionals” i can afford are pushing me. Again. I just wish i never got off - or knew to taper. I can’t go back and forward is so scary. If only i could just sleep naturally. 

 

Im so sorry about how you feel too. This is all bullsh*t. Sending you love. 

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Rachellynn
3 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

worse during my period and the week after.

I mean...the week before. Ugh. 

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savinggrace

Rachellyn,

 

Chronic sleep problems and anxiety, since childhood, is what landed me in this mess.  The "professionals" will only put you on more drugs and higher doses.  You will end up with multi-system failure from years of them.  I now have chronic pain, nerve problems, chemical sensitivities, major digestive issues (only eat 7-8 foods), heart and breathing problems.  I believe most of these are rooted in the long-term use of these drugs. I am not sure I would survive a rapid withdrawal from any of these drugs.  My psych actually admitted that a rapid withdrawal would likely end me up in a long-term hospitalization from which I would never mentally or physically recover.  Talk about being trapped! You are only 37; that is about the age I started going downhill,(going on 65 now so 30 years ago, oh my)  but back then the internet was not really a resource and I trusted doctors.  If only I had a do-over.  Hindsight is 20/20.  Do you have a "gut feeling" about what you need to do?

 

Grace

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Rachellynn

What i knew for certain as a child was that i never wanted to be a drug addict because both of my parents were. Now look! I took MEDICINE to help with emotional trauma and I’m a drug addict. 

 

I have no clue what to do but i already have asthma from the drugs and insomnia. I was too young, i have no idea. My gut says run away - not sure where. Nature? To be with my mom? To meet my maker? How can i in good faith go back on Prozac? I just don’t know what the hell to do. If i was sleeping, i would suffer all the other symptoms but this one is insane. 

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Rachellynn

I just realized that I’ve lost 7 pounds since I’ve not been sleeping. Down to 125 from 132 and I’m nearly 5’10 - I’ve never had any weight to lose. Pray for me. Love you 

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powerback
43 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

What i knew for certain as a child was that i never wanted to be a drug addict because both of my parents were. Now look! I took MEDICINE to help with emotional trauma and I’m a drug addict. 

 

I have no clue what to do but i already have asthma from the drugs and insomnia. I was too young, i have no idea. My gut says run away - not sure where. Nature? To be with my mom? To meet my maker? How can i in good faith go back on Prozac? I just don’t know what the hell to do. If i was sleeping, i would suffer all the other symptoms but this one is insane. 

For now I would only entertain all the thoughts about sleep hygiene and maintaining your health,trust me its better use of your time to research ways to put weight on healthy .Avocados for a start are full of the fats you'll need .

I understand your fears all the same ,you need to take blame away from yourself for the meds ,the system that's there is mostly wrong not us .all we can do is try and learn better ways .

Meds gave you Asthma?,ive had it since I was a kid and I barely ever have problems since I gave up alcohol bar some chest infections and it has to be a bad infection to go near a DR .

You are not your parents ,I often need to tell myself this."I'm not my father " but I struggle some times .

Take care.

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Rachellynn

I know thank you. I think I’m just constantly worried about this. About my brain. About what I’ve lost. I’m now terrified to go to sleep. I need to flip this. 

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Rachellynn

I’m just thinking for 21 hours straight. It’s too much!

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powerback
4 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

I know thank you. I think I’m just constantly worried about this. About my brain. About what I’ve lost. I’m now terrified to go to sleep. I need to flip this. 

yep you will need to flip it  eventually ,it all comes down to that word Acceptance and its hard ,in the first year of this mess I was still hiking and working ,the last 6 months have been the worst because I never accepted the situation ,I mite of pushed myself into the ground to keep up with the joneses   ,learn when to ease up on yourself  ,ile spend the rest of my life doing this .

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Rachellynn

I’m just thinking for 21 hours straight. It’s too much!

 

having horrible thoughts watching my dog sleep. I’m pissed off at her. At everyone in the world who can sleep. I feel like I’m losing my mind. 

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Rachellynn

@Altostrata @Kristine @ChessieCat

 

So I’ve been going to bed at like 6pm and falling asleep around 7:30-11pm. Do you guys think i should try and force myself to stay up until like 9 or 10?? I’m scared to miss my tired “window” thoughts? Thank you🙏🏼

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Rachellynn

I stayed up until about 7:30. Had a terrible headache, i ALMOST took a Tylenol PM. But didn’t. I laid on the couch listening to bedtime stories head pounding half conscious until either 10:30 or 12:30 and then went into my room and fell asleep for a little while. Once i woke up (around 3am) i laid there relaxed and listening to meditation app until 6am. Very nauseous. 

 

Tired of of being tired. Wanting sleep🙏🏼

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savinggrace

Hi Rachelynn,

 

i think you should pick a time and  stick to it. Probably picking a time that works more with the circadian rhythms of the world around you as so many things affect the rhythm. (Especially light). My circadian rhythm is off from the rest of the world and it makes living a normal life hard now. I adapted to sleep time from 3 am to 11 am which doesn’t work for the rest of the world. I would lean more towards you 10 pm and try to stick with it. If you get tired,,,Great!  Changing bedtimes every day won’t work. Your body and brain are craving routine. I am so sorry you are sufferyso much. Please try to use distraction to pass the time. It helps tremendously. Otherwise I perseverate and make myself worse. Hang in there. 

 

Grace

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Rachellynn

Crying jag. 

Dont care about eating. 

Weak. Tired. 

 

I want my life back. 

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Rachellynn

@Altostrata can i change my username?

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Rachellynn

I can’t tell if the no sleep or the remeron is making me depressed now. Not just sad, but feeling ms of intense depression starting at about 10am today. I felt this way when i updosed to 15mg - i slept for 12 hours but was REALLY depressed the next day. 

 

I felt ok-ish for not sleeping in the earlier parts of the morning. It could be my period too. Hard to tell. 

 

8am - protein shake with banana 

9am -Adrenal Cocktail 

10am-meditation but too depressed 

11:15 - snack (sourdough, avocado, turkey)

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Rachellynn

I love myself

i love myself

i love myself

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

i love myself 

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ChessieCat
4 hours ago, savinggrace said:

Hi Rachelynn,

 

i think you should pick a time and  stick to it. Probably picking a time that works more with the circadian rhythms of the world around you as so many things affect the rhythm. (Especially light). My circadian rhythm is off from the rest of the world and it makes living a normal life hard now. I adapted to sleep time from 3 am to 11 am which doesn’t work for the rest of the world. I would lean more towards you 10 pm and try to stick with it. If you get tired,,,Great!  Changing bedtimes every day won’t work. Your body and brain are craving routine. I am so sorry you are sufferyso much. Please try to use distraction to pass the time. It helps tremendously. Otherwise I perseverate and make myself worse. Hang in there. 

 

Grace

 

I agree with what grace has said: what-is-the-sleep-cycle

 

These are the results for a search on bedtime routine for adults.

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Altostrata

No, you can't change your username.

 

Are churning thoughts keeping you awake? If so, strongly recommend you learn how to meditate or "change the channel" to more calming thoughts.

 

What's in your adrenal cocktail?

 

Please post your daily notes about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, their dosages, and your sleep pattern EVERY DAY.

 

 

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Rachellynn

Actually not really. I fall asleep (last night i had a BAD headache - so did not, until later) relatively easily because I’m so exhausted but then i wake up only a couple or a few hours later. I’m actually decently relaxed at these times, and only start getting anxious by 3am when i haven’t fallen back to sleep. And then I’m on this site driving myself crazy. I listen to bedtime stories and meditation positive imagery, etc...

 

Adrenal cocktail is just: 

1 cup coconut water

1/4 tsp sea salt 

and i squeeze the juice from half an orange

-basically potassium, sodium and vit C

 

 

 

 

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Carmie

Hi Rachellyn, 

 

Thanks for your PM. I’m really sorry you’re not sleeping much. I wouldn’t personally take Seroquel for sleep. It’s a horrible drug to try and get off, and when you end up stopping it the rebound insomnia can be really severe. I remember not taking it one night and I didn’t sleep AT ALL. It can make your insomnia even worse when you come off it. 

 

I’ve gone through many, many years of withdrawals because of it, with many more to go. Alto said as regards side effects from Seroquel, they are worse than the side effects from benzos. 

 

Take care💚

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Gracee

@RachellynnDid you recently stop taking Ativan?

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Rachellynn

Yes i did 😕

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Altostrata
3 minutes ago, Gracee said:

@RachellynnDid you recently stop taking Ativan?

 

2 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

Yes i did 😕

 

I thought you were going to taper your remaining Ativan?

 

What is your current drug and supplement schedule?

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Rachellynn

I kind of did. I have my last little nibble of it tonight actually. Actually taking it now and then I’m done. It doesn’t do anything for me.

 

Stuffy nose - histamine issue coming back. 

 7am - quercetin, hista-block 

4:00pm - just took my last dose of Ativan. 

 I stopped taking my Bone Marrow to see if it was causing my insomnia. As a result i just feel a bit dryer today - nostrils, eyes. 

 

6pm - magnesium glycinate 

 

 

I guess I’m not good at schedules when I’m this sleep deprived. Dr. Wants to put me on serequel. I said no. 

 

Im so desperate tho. Maybe THC. ??

 

i can’t do nothing. Maybe Valium, 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rachellynn
44 minutes ago, Carmie said:

Hi Rachellyn, 

 

Thanks for your PM. I’m really sorry you’re not sleeping much. I wouldn’t personally take Seroquel for sleep. It’s a horrible drug to try and get off, and when you end up stopping it the rebound insomnia can be really severe. I remember not taking it one night and I didn’t sleep AT ALL. It can make your insomnia even worse when you come off it. 

 

I’ve gone through many, many years of withdrawals because of it, with many more to go. Alto said as regards side effects from Seroquel, they are worse than the side effects from benzos. 

 

Take care💚

Omg. Thank you. 

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Rachellynn

Oh and i take my remeron at 7:30 

 

i guess i never really wven considered that i mist take it at the same time each night. I just have always taken it when i am getting into bed. Is that what i should do?!

 

Ugh. I’m not smart. 

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Rachellynn

Is it better to think of this constant withdrawal as “my silly mind playing tricks on me, and sooner or later...all will be right again?” ❤️❤️❤️

 

I jave been talking a lot my my mom and new found brother and feeling a little hopeful. 

 

Live you guys

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Gracee
3 minutes ago, Rachellynn said:

Is it better to think of this constant withdrawal as “my silly mind playing tricks on me, and sooner or later...all will be right again?” ❤️❤️❤️

 

 

I like to think of this constant withdrawal of ups-and-downs as my brain healing and getting stronger.

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ChessieCat
4 hours ago, Rachellynn said:

Oh and i take my remeron at 7:30 

 

i guess i never really wven considered that i mist take it at the same time each night. I just have always taken it when i am getting into bed. Is that what i should do?!

 

Ugh. I’m not smart. 

 

The brain likes consistency.  It's best to take the same dose at about the same time every day.

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Rachellynn

Another night of two hours of sleep. 

 

Dr. Tried to put me on seroquel yesterday. Luckily, my insurance didn’t approve it. 

 

I am going to reinstate some sort of SSRI to try and stabalize and then come off the remeron and then taper off the SSRI. 

 

I am at at my wits and don’t want to end up in a careless hospital. 

 

Ive been off Prozac for four years. The remeron helped for nearly a year - just getting sleep was VERY beneficial for me but that is no longer helping. 

 

Please help advise me on what to do to do in this situation. 

 

My drug burden is low right now at 10mg remeron but i am sleeping 2 hrs per night no matter what. And it’s bringing up other symptoms. 

 

Please, please help🙏🏼

 

 

 

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Rachellynn

Tried to stay up later last night. 

 

8:00 took remeron 10mg

experienced intense anxiety about not being able to sleep. 

Listened to meditation app

9:30: fell asleep 

12:00: woke up

3:00: took 2mg meletonin

felt drowsy, possibly fell asleep for an hour 

4:30-6:30am - up, intense anxiety, dry and stuffy nose. 

 

6:30am : Quercetin, Hista-Black for allergies

 

i can’t tell what I’m doing to myself, what is still withdrawal from Prozac (4 years later), the remeron not working to help me stay asleep and just my anxious mind about how to help myself. 

 

Nothing, absolutely nothing makes sense with only 2 hours of sleep. 

 

Please help🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️

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eymen23

Rachellyn,

 

Please remember that you have made a lot of changes in the last few weeks. Each change takes its toll on the nervous system and yours was already sensitive from protracted Prozac withdrawal and then the large 50% drop in Remeron in March 2018.

 

Please try to keep your drugs and supplements the same for an extended period of time. I can totally understand your desperation to fix this. Sleeplessness can be very difficult. I have had periods in the past of getting 2-3 hours sleep a night for days and weeks at a time, and it is very hard to cope with. 

 

However, the unfortunate reality is that making more changes is unlikely to bring any significant long term relief, it’s actually more likely to create confusion and further destabilisation to your nervous system. 

 

In some instances, holding your drugs and dosages can be the most effective solution and I whole heartedly believe that this may be the case here. That’s not to say that in several weeks or months it might not be sensible to make a change, but your poor nervous system needs a chance to keep up. 

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Rachellynn

Is it possible to still be suffering from Prozac CT after four years? I was so happy before all this. 

 

I started getting desperate when when i got a few sleepless nights and now groundhogs day. 

 

But the thing is...i was actually coping ok with my symptoms until stressors and the **** hit the fan and i feel worse. If my brain was adapting and i was able to sleep/dance/do yoga - and the only thing that’s changed is my stress level then i can assume i was/am healing my brain?? 

 

The reason son i cut remeron was due to constipation - not sure it was the remeron causing it tho. I should have continued at 15mg but i did not. My poor body😭

 

thank you you for the reply 

 

 

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Rachellynn
33 minutes ago, eymen23 said:

That’s not to say that in several weeks or months it might not be sensible to make a change, but your poor nervous system needs a chance to keep up. 

I think I’ve only slept full nights for about 7 days in almost 3 months. I hate this. 

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