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Shane88L

Shane88L: anhedonia/depression from withdrawing from olanzapine / Zyprexa

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Altostrata

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Shane88L

Thanks so much Altostrata,

 

My sleeping is always the same, I don't feel tired until very early in the morning, after 3am usually. 

Trying to sleep before then just doesn't work. My brain seems to be far to active. When I begin to drift off to sleep, I tend to wake suddenly in a panic, and anxiety stays with me until I can distract myself enough to try again. 

I waken after every few hours, and use my phone until I can fall asleep again.

I've grown quite accustomed to this manner of sleeping by now.

Sleeping 5 hours - 7 hours each night since stopping olanzapine.

I feel grateful that I can sleep this long.

 

Thanks for those links, I had a look at shame, guilt, regret and self-criticism so far. Thank you.

 

Shane.

 


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Shane88L

Please, if you're going through withdrawals and are struggling, there is no need to read this - it is not necessary for your healing.

 

I am in a state of DP/DR that is intense, most days.

 

I no longer have panic attacks, and this should be something that I take positively, but I am questioning it... Is it apathy, or acceptance?

 

When I read a post that, if the me last year were to read, would have sent me into a state of high anxiety, I just don't get affected by it at all. 

I am just not there.

 

I have read that people recall memories of their past and an emotion comes... When I try to recall  past event, I cannot feel anything.

 

I don't really care though. Is that normal? Should I care..?

 

When I went to town the other day, I tried to picture my house, and my mind was blank. I couldn't picture any part of my house. I saw the house I used to live in. I was very confused.

I also couldn't remember my home address when I was at the post office the other day.

I was so shocked I told my wife when I returned home afterwards. She reassured me that it was anxiety. I want to believe that...

 

It is 3.20am now.

I am wide awake, as usual.

When I go to bed, I will use my phone until my eyelids get heavy.

I will have vivid dreams, to the level I have never had before in my life.

They never have good feelings associated with them.

Even dreams which, logically, should promote positive feelings, bring with them feelings of... dread, or anxiety.

I wake every 3-4 hours, and have done so ever since my stopping of olanzapine. 

 

I am grateful that I can at least sleep to the level I currently can. 

 

 


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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RichT

Hi Shane,

 

I suffer from confusion and forgetfulness too, as a result of withdrawal. I think they are quite common symptoms. No need for alarm.


 = medication taken now

 

2007 quetiapine to March 2019 200mg

2019 quetiapine March to present 225mg 

2007 citalopram to present 40mg 
2018 March Abilify 5mg  
2019 Abilify February rapid taper over 3 weeks from 5mg to off

2019 March Clonazepam as required, taken very occasionally, then taken 0.5mg for 2 days 28th and 29th March, now phased out

2019 1st April reinstated Abilify 0.5mg / day 

2018 to present Liquid B12 2g twice daily (diagnosed B12 deficiency) 
 

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planifolia

Hello Shane, The DP/DR can truly be awful and terrifying. I know many people who have intense DP/DR to feel severely dazed, confused, and the feeling of being in complete "oblivion", and emotionally cut-off. But all of them have recovered and this will also happen for you. 

 

Keep holding, it is inevietable that this will pass ;) have faith in your remarkable nervous system and it's resiliency.   


Clonazapam:  01/2015 - 03/2015 2mg; 03/2015 Cold Turkey

Lexapro:  07/2007 - 08/2018 10-20mg; 08/2018 - 10/2018 Tapered to 0mg; 10/11/2018 Reinstated 7 days taper up to 20mg (took 3mg xanax/day first 3 days of reinstatement); 17/11/2018 20mg; 2/12/2018: 15mg; 3/12/2018 10mg; 5/12/2018 Developed violent spasms, back to 15mg;

6/1/2019 13.5mg; 27/3/2019 13mg; 2/4/2019 12.5mg; 11/4/2019 10mg; 25/5/2019 9mg; 8/7/2019; 8.75mg; 15/7/2019 8.5mg; 22/7/2019 8.25mg; 5month taper of 10%/month to 5mg on 12/2019;

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Shane88L

Hi RichT, Hi planifolia,

 

Thanks so much for your replies. 

 

@RichTI'm somewhat relieved to hear that you can relate to this symptom. It is quite unnerving... I think of the worst possible cause, for example, dementia, which just worsens my anxiety.
I try to remain calm when this happens. Obsessively focusing on the negative is difficult to not do, and trying to remain more optimistic is such a challenge... I'll keep your words in mind. They help, so thank you.
 

@planifoliaThank you for your soothing words. It is always nice to hear such positivity. Dp/Dr is the greatest challenge for me at the moment, and has been rather chronic ever since my cold turkey from olanzapine last year. I believe that it is less mental and more physiological, so I look forward to more days where I am free from its grasp, when my mind and body are more calm and healed. People say that with Dp/Dr you will be free of it if you take your thoughts away from it for a certain amount of time, for example, a week free of obsessional Dp/Dr related thoughts, but I feel that drug withdrawal related Dp/Dr is more about the mind and body being damaged and in turmoil. Perhaps due to the nervous system being in an very sensitive state...

 

Best regards,

 

Shane.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Shane88L

Another Positive Post.

 

Although I slept for about 4 hours last night -

 

My dp/dr is very mild today, even though I'm tired. 

I feel more at ease today, more full - more together.

I wasn't doing any mental exercises, no writing or exercising, no taking supplements, and my diet has not been that great honestly... Yet I feel quite well today. 

My heart rate today is not sky-high like it has been since stopping the drug.

Dp/Dr has to be related to my constantly "on" fight/flight mode. It must be related to the nervous system trauma. More time will be needed to get better.

 

 


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Shane88L

Being free from Dp/Dr feels more amazing than I could have imagined.

It is a huge relief.

 

Feeling better more and more as time goes by.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Altostrata

Hurray!

 

What's your sleep pattern? See Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Shane88L

Thanks for the message Altostrata.

 

I'm still sleeping late, generally around 3am - 4am and waking now at around 9.30am. 

I'm ok with this though, just because I've read so many stories of people who are having a much harder time than I am.

Although I used to have a wonderfully easy time sleeping for 8-10 hours without waking, I still feel somewhat "lucky" that I can sleep even 5 hours!

Still dreaming vividly each night, but now rationalizing a bit more and using more of that good old logic to separate those dream feelings from the truth upon waking.
 

Regarding supplements, I was taking omega 3 fish oils high in dha and epa daily, since the beginning of my withdrawals last year, along with megnesium 500, niacin 100 (flushed almost every single time and it was quite uncomfortable), and I also took vitamin c. I took these supplements daily since my withdrawals began.
I used to take CBD oil, and I feel that it helped, but I have stopped taking it since 4 months ago due to the price. I would consider taking it again, as even a placebo affect will remove a good deal of anxiety.
Now, I just take magnesium 500mg every night, from 9pm - 12pm usually.
I really don't know how the supplements were affecting me, whether they helped me or hindered my recovery in some way.

 

Still feeling good today. Currently looking for work.

 

Shane.

 


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Zans

Hey Shane,

 

read your story and glad you're slowly emerging from all this mud. I was on Zyprexa for two months at 5mg/day without even knowing that I am volunterally destroying my brain. I went off it cold turkey month ago and it seems there is nothing left inside me except severe dark emptyness. Creativity, deep thinking and spontaneous ideas left my head and been swaped with total vaccum lol. 

 

How long you've been not working?

 

Stay strong

 


Paroxetin 20mg, Lexatonil 3mg - 5 pills total in December 2019 - CT.

 

Coaxil12.5mg, Fluanxol 1mg, Olanzapine 5mg, Bromazepam 3mg, Mirtazapine 30mg, Relanium injections, Zolpidem 10mg  full January - March 2019. CT all.

 

Finlepsin 1/4, Olanzapine 2.5mg, Relanium 5mg, Brintellix 20mg, Imovan mid April - early May 2019. CT all.

 

Brintellix 10mg 2019 May

Brintellix 5mg June - July

Brintellix 5mg August, 4.5mg September 7th - 4.6mg - 5mg ; November 21st - 4.8g December 5th - 4.6mg December 19th - 4.4mg January 3th - 4.2mg 17th - 4mg

 

 

 

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Shane88L

Hi Zans, thanks for the message.

 

Zyprexa was horrible, and it stuck me in hell for many, many months. I'm starting to emerge from it all, thankfully!

All that creativity, all those thoughts and ideas, the stolen "soul", it all is still there. It will re-emerge with time, as I can attest to.

 

I've been out of work since the beginning of my withdrawals, 9 months ago.

 

Best,

 

Shane.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Shane88L

I woke up yesterday at 8.30am. I stayed out all day until night time, and returned home, tired physically. 

I would usually (before my withdrawals) be exhausted and quickly fall asleep at around 11.30pm - 12.00pm, but I was awake until 4am, (as usual since the withdrawals), my eyes sore, but my mind active, as if rested.

I woke today at 9.30am, after about 5 and a half hours sleep.

I wake up very dizzy, as if I don't breath properly when sleeping. This happens almost every morning. I don't dwell on it usually, as Dp/Dr has been the hardest enemy to beat and takes up my attention for the majority of my withdrawals. Now that Dp/Dp seems to be improving (fingers crossed!) my attention is turning to other things that the cold turkey seems to have caused.

Sometimes on the bus after a long day, I begin to nod off, but nasty images appear along with bad feelings that jerk me fully awake before I can sleep. Napping seems like it doesn't work now...

I just don't feel tired much anymore.

 

I expect this is due to the lingering impact that poison has had on my mind and body, something to do with gaba..? 

Olanzapine/Zyprexa is known to affect the mind as a benzo would, with the added affects of an antipsychotic on top of that. Is this info correct I wonder...

 

5 hours of sleep is better than nothing, so I'm not too concerned overall.

I still have tinnitus. 

I'm slowly feeling like the Dp/Dr is improving, but I don't want to get too excited about this (I want to be prepared in case...)

 

Also of note; since stopping the Zyprexa cold turkey, I have gained a whopping 10kg over the past 9 months. This is unheard of for me, as I was 60kg max for most of my adult life. Now I am 70kg, and my wife has certainly noticed it physically!

Is it my slowing metabolism due to hitting the 30s, or has something changed due to the drug...

My eating is the same as it has always been.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Altostrata
3 hours ago, Shane88L said:

I would usually (before my withdrawals) be exhausted and quickly fall asleep at around 11.30pm - 12.00pm, but I was awake until 4am

 

Shane, were you looking at the computer until bedtime? It's important to get off the computer by early evening. It can affect your sleep.

 

5 hours sleep is not too bad, but still. Have you tried a bit of melatonin to get to sleep?

 

Gaining weight off Zyprexa is unusual, usually people gain weight while on it. It might have affected your metabolism. You may wish to have this checked.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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ChessieCat
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Have you tried a bit of melatonin to get to sleep?

 

It's best to try a small amount (see topic) and only make one change at a time.

 

Melatonin

 

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable


Being very patient.  I'll get there - slowly.  ETA mid 2021

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 12 Sept 2020:  Pristiq 0.625 mg (compounded)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Zans

Same happens to me. If I go overboard with activity my eyes wide awake full night even though body is ready to rest. I guess since nervous system is in such fragile state any strain on it will just put you in fight or flight mode later. Try to have good amount of sugar (if you're not in anti sugar campaign) before bed to keep at least cortisol down. Milk with honey and magnesium decent cocktail taste wise ☺

 

Regards weight I totally agree (just my opinion not a fact) that Zyprexa causes abnormalities within metabolism. One of my funniest qoutes I found from person complaining about weight gain was smth like this "I swear God I put 5lb just from catching a smell of my mom making pancakes" 😀

 

Another not so funny qoute from Ucla psychiatrist Dr. William Wirshing: "Taking 10mg of this medication was equivelant to ingesting 1500 calories a day".

 

So who knows what havoc Zyprexa does to metabolic state. Luckily and hopefully body has remarkable ability to heal so might just take a while (and some walking ☺) to get back to homeostasis.


Paroxetin 20mg, Lexatonil 3mg - 5 pills total in December 2019 - CT.

 

Coaxil12.5mg, Fluanxol 1mg, Olanzapine 5mg, Bromazepam 3mg, Mirtazapine 30mg, Relanium injections, Zolpidem 10mg  full January - March 2019. CT all.

 

Finlepsin 1/4, Olanzapine 2.5mg, Relanium 5mg, Brintellix 20mg, Imovan mid April - early May 2019. CT all.

 

Brintellix 10mg 2019 May

Brintellix 5mg June - July

Brintellix 5mg August, 4.5mg September 7th - 4.6mg - 5mg ; November 21st - 4.8g December 5th - 4.6mg December 19th - 4.4mg January 3th - 4.2mg 17th - 4mg

 

 

 

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hayduke

What really helps with computers and mobiles after sunset is a program called f.lux. 

 

There are a few others that do the same thing which is basically filter the blue light out of the display when the sun goes down.  It's the blue light that signals your forebrain that it's daytime and to stay awake.  I found myself going to bed probably 1-2 hrs earlier each night after I started using this.

 

Still good to take some time away from the screen :-)

 

Cheers


*** I am not a health professional - your actions are your own ***

 

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

 

10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014 gave slight weight loss but mediocre sleep.  Abrupt x-taper to try aripiprazole Dec 2014 increasingly restless (Freddy the blind man could've seen that coming, shame about the pdoc) then back onto 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

Round 1:  2015 10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine.   Hadn't researched, just decided to try it myself with pill cutter.  Easy enough.  Next cut to 3 1/3mg for 2 weeks had me struggling to function.  Reverted to 5mg, thought that was as far as I could go.

Round 2:  Given Breggin to read, found SA.  Taper from 5 to 2.5mg over five months.  Titrate liquid suspension using Rhi's method.  Cuts and holds all done by feel.  All samples at start of month in mg:

2018:  Feb 5.0 | Mar 4.5 | Apr 4.25 | May 3.7 | Jun 3.3 | Jul 3.1 | Aug 2.9 | Sep 2.5 and six month hold

Round 3:  2.5mg and below.  EMDR work unearthed and resolved root trauma at around 2.1mg

2019:  Jan 2.5 | Feb 2.3 | Mar 2.215 / EMDR / Apr 1.976 | May 1.875 | Jun 1.825 | Jul 1.625 | Aug 1.525 | Sep 1.46 | Oct 1.3 | Nov 1.225 | Dec 1.25

2020:  Jan 1.214 | Feb 1.1 | Mar 1.0 🙂 | Apr 0.88 | May 0.82 | June 0.74 | July 0.69 | Aug 0.61 | Sep 0.59

‘If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.’  -- Ram Dass

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Shane88L

Thanks for your comments everyone.

 

I will keep melatonin in mind. Thanks Altostrata, thanks ChessieCat. Hopefully my sleep won't decline..!

 

Hot milk and honey sounds great, I may give it a try tomorrow Zans. I drank hot milk last year at the beginning of my withdrawals, during some horrible depression. It may have helped to relax me somewhat.

The weight gain is a bit concerning, just due to the fact that I used to be able to eat all day, every day, without exercise, and stay slim. Now, as you have written, I only need to smell a chocolate biscuit and I'm fatter!

I am inclined to believe that it has done something to my metabolism, but I really can't be sure. 

 

Regarding getting things checked out about my metabolism - I will avoid this. Maybe I'm being somewhat dramatic, but I really feel like I'm safer avoiding these "medically-trained professionals."

My doctor at the time advised me to go on antipsychotics for mild anxiety (telling me I would need to be on medication for the rest of my life). Of course the doctor never mentioned the word "antipsychotic".

I truly feel like I cannot trust in their knowledge anymore. 

 

Thanks for the suggestion Hayduke. Actually, I have been using that app since the beginning of the year. I reduce it to negative 70%-80% generally and the light turns very low, very easy to look at. It has been so useful! My laptop has something similar. 

It was a godsend, especially for my wife. It wasn't fair to be using my phone so late beside her, so when I stopped, I was in a pickle with no distraction and just my own ringing ears and racing mind... Finding the app helped me to relax until I could manage to sleep. 

 

 

Thoughts today are on my old life I lost, my cat, my old family. I cannot cry, I just feel like it isn't worth the energy... 

There is a lot of frustration, a lot of anger. 

I'm trying to accept all of my feelings.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Shane88L

Waking after every 2 hours, it feels as if I am simply awake always, or half awake. I should feel sleepy after only a couple hours of sleep, but I don't. When I wake, it feels like today is a continuation of the previous day - one long existence without separation from sleep. Perhaps this is a wave. Feeling not alive, yet not dead. Feeling hollow. I can memorise things well enough, so my cognitive abilities seem to not have changed. Is it simply anxiety I wonder... 

 


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Shane88L

I really don't know if this is still dp/dr or not, as I feel much more at ease than I previously used to, but I still feel quite "trapped" in my own head/body.
I feel like I'm not experiencing things properly, kind of like numbed, but not depressed..? Hmm....

I don't feel depressed, at least, not the horrible depressed that I once felt last year, but it feels quite... frustrating, or uncomfortable I guess, not being quite "there", almost like I'm reaching the surface for a breath of air after a long dive underwater... But I can't quite break the surface and take that breath of air. That's the best I can describe this feeling.

 

My dreams are still extremely vivid. I can wake and think of something, then I will dream clearly about what I thought about when I woke up. 

When I wake, there is no "sleepy, grogginess" that should accompany you upon waking. It is like, I wake up after a switch is pressed. No grogginess, no sleepiness. As if there was no sleep!

Hmm...

 

When I think about the past and how I felt, I do feel uncomfortable, wondering how I possibly lived a life without questioning things...

 

Ohhh, this is quite a challenge.

 


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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hayduke

Hey Shane88L, how's it all going?  Feeling any better?

 

Cheers


*** I am not a health professional - your actions are your own ***

 

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

 

10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014 gave slight weight loss but mediocre sleep.  Abrupt x-taper to try aripiprazole Dec 2014 increasingly restless (Freddy the blind man could've seen that coming, shame about the pdoc) then back onto 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

Round 1:  2015 10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine.   Hadn't researched, just decided to try it myself with pill cutter.  Easy enough.  Next cut to 3 1/3mg for 2 weeks had me struggling to function.  Reverted to 5mg, thought that was as far as I could go.

Round 2:  Given Breggin to read, found SA.  Taper from 5 to 2.5mg over five months.  Titrate liquid suspension using Rhi's method.  Cuts and holds all done by feel.  All samples at start of month in mg:

2018:  Feb 5.0 | Mar 4.5 | Apr 4.25 | May 3.7 | Jun 3.3 | Jul 3.1 | Aug 2.9 | Sep 2.5 and six month hold

Round 3:  2.5mg and below.  EMDR work unearthed and resolved root trauma at around 2.1mg

2019:  Jan 2.5 | Feb 2.3 | Mar 2.215 / EMDR / Apr 1.976 | May 1.875 | Jun 1.825 | Jul 1.625 | Aug 1.525 | Sep 1.46 | Oct 1.3 | Nov 1.225 | Dec 1.25

2020:  Jan 1.214 | Feb 1.1 | Mar 1.0 🙂 | Apr 0.88 | May 0.82 | June 0.74 | July 0.69 | Aug 0.61 | Sep 0.59

‘If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.’  -- Ram Dass

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Zippy

Hi Shane

 

ive been going through this too I took Zyprexa for one week and started at 2.5 and went up to 5mg it made me feel crazy so I had to stop it and then the most terrifying depression of my life

a concrete brain made of nothing with no thoughts just a void 

my anxiety was so bad I coudkt sit still and admitted myself to hospital where I got worse from not sleeping for a month 

I started to get better when I came home and slept with sleeping pills

its been 8 months my doctor says I’m getting a bit better which I am because I can go to the shops and a walk at the beach but I feel nothing just nothing at all

sometimes I laugh if something is truly truly funny but I can’t smile my personality I can’t even remember and I don’t feel in my body 

the doctors find it hard to believe zyprexa did this to me and frankly just don’t really believe me

my eyes look dead they used to shine and be pretty and I always wore nice eye makeup

now it looks like I died but I’m still alive like a zombie 

I live alone and pass the days watching tv and cleaning and trying not to look in the mirror

i dotn know how I got through this 8 months my family don’t understand what happened to me and I don’t understand where I went

soemdays I remember flickers if myself and see that I can come back

my depression is so bad I need to take medication but I’m terrified to take something else 

I read that the brain takes a year to heal and that drug addicts like meth heads and such go through this too and it takes at least six months 

it’s awfuk feeling like you don’t exist and nothing is real I train know brain everyday to believe things are real and lie on my bed for hours remembering all the greatest parts of my life in detail to remind my brain what life was an can be

when I think of the stupid doctor just casually prescribing me zyprexa for depression and because he a man thought me a woman with apparantly no voice was too thin and needed appetite increased I want to scream at him

my only revenge is to get better and be better than I’ve ever been by taking this to me to see what is important in life 

I feel like I’m missing out on so so much it’s soul destroying 

my head aches with grief I can’t belive other people feel a range of emotions through out the day

i have to be grateful for the small things I have improved 

when I first came off it everything looked dead people dogs and even small kittens looked dead nothing was real it was an absolute nightmare I would not wish upon anyone 

I’ve posted hear to get support to continue as I’m not getting it IRL cos no one can understand this hell except someone that’s been through it 

I’ve been traumatised and abused by psychologist and doctors while in this state told I need therapy for a personality disorder etc

i don’t even have my personality that’s is the problem I did not listen to or take the bait of any text book psychologist who has no knowledge of this experience

instead I found a psychologist who does EDMR for trauma and it’s helping me 

that and the energy healer Donna Edens fault energy routine are helping me to feel in my body 

(she’s wonderful she healed herself of Ms!)

you are a warrior Shane just remember that when you are better the earth will be a paradise for you for everything single feeling and experience will be gift to treasure

 

when a child smiles at me or someone ask me how I am in a shop I almost pass out it is such a gift in this void of emptiness 

I’m focusing on gratitude to grow these things

 

heres to healing brains and being in it for the long haul 

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Shane88L

(Read at own risk, not positive post)

 

Hi Hayduke, hi Zippy,

 

Thank you both for your messages.

 

Truth be told, I've been rather lost, feeling trapped and more used to this dp/dr prison than ever. I can't remember not feeling this dead/empty - my head feels light, and I feel "stuck" behind my eyes, looking out, but not experiencing, not feeling. Thoughts are too logical/objective without emotion... I cannot put my mind back to what is normal...

The normal is this existence, and as my journey continues, I begin to think that, well, this is it. 

 

Isn't the truth of life just wasted without feelings...? It really means nothing without emotion... If only I could feel. There is just emptiness in me now

 

How can I stay away for hours every night and morning and sleep for so little and just never feel tired? I dream every thought that comes into my head. I remember my dreams, and they pile up, one on top of the other, where I have a pile of memories of just dreams..!! God damn this is awful. Physiologically something is very amiss here...

I do exercise every day, called Insanity (an intense cardiovascular workout). I go out every day. I am not me though.. I am nothing, and just don't feel human anymore. Life is a joke, a sick joke. It has been revealed to me.. How can I be ok with this broken mind that has been forcefully changed by a drug that humans have little idea of to the effects?? Who really know the damage it has caused? I feel so separate from everything, so empty and alone. But not lonely, just... nothing


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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hayduke

Hey Shane,

 

Part of the reason I've been finding a rather slow taper works is because the emotion-numbing effect of the olanzapine reduces gradually when the dose lowers gradually.  As my emotions come through gradually more and more unimpeded it gives me time to work through any related issues that come up, as well as 'smelling the roses' and feeling more part of the world and people around me.

 

It sounds like your abrupt discontinuation has given your brain and body quite a lot of change to cope with in a short time.  It also sounds really unpleasant to live with this for a while - if I miss a dose or struggle with a particular cut I get a glimpse of that suffering.  My life situation wouldn't give me enough time to wait that out if I wasn't able to manage my life in the meantime.  But if you are in that situation I suppose it's an option.

 

Have you considered reinstating at a lower dose and doing a gentler taper?

 

Either way I hope you're feeling better soon


*** I am not a health professional - your actions are your own ***

 

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

 

10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014 gave slight weight loss but mediocre sleep.  Abrupt x-taper to try aripiprazole Dec 2014 increasingly restless (Freddy the blind man could've seen that coming, shame about the pdoc) then back onto 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

Round 1:  2015 10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine.   Hadn't researched, just decided to try it myself with pill cutter.  Easy enough.  Next cut to 3 1/3mg for 2 weeks had me struggling to function.  Reverted to 5mg, thought that was as far as I could go.

Round 2:  Given Breggin to read, found SA.  Taper from 5 to 2.5mg over five months.  Titrate liquid suspension using Rhi's method.  Cuts and holds all done by feel.  All samples at start of month in mg:

2018:  Feb 5.0 | Mar 4.5 | Apr 4.25 | May 3.7 | Jun 3.3 | Jul 3.1 | Aug 2.9 | Sep 2.5 and six month hold

Round 3:  2.5mg and below.  EMDR work unearthed and resolved root trauma at around 2.1mg

2019:  Jan 2.5 | Feb 2.3 | Mar 2.215 / EMDR / Apr 1.976 | May 1.875 | Jun 1.825 | Jul 1.625 | Aug 1.525 | Sep 1.46 | Oct 1.3 | Nov 1.225 | Dec 1.25

2020:  Jan 1.214 | Feb 1.1 | Mar 1.0 🙂 | Apr 0.88 | May 0.82 | June 0.74 | July 0.69 | Aug 0.61 | Sep 0.59

‘If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.’  -- Ram Dass

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Shane88L

There is always hope. I hang on because I have it, and nothing will ever make me turn back to the poison which turned my own mind against me. I was put on to this crap instead of a sleeping aid because of mild insomnia, and because of it, my world fell apart. I fell apart. I will never take a drug that affects my brain again. I'm still picking up the pieces coming up to almost a year later.

When my feelings return, life is good. I have read back what I have written, when I was writing some positive things, and I know that it can't always be like this. It feels never ending though.

I feel like I am on a constant bad trip from some drug, but I'm used to it now. This is dp/dr, and I won't let it win. I don't panic anymore because of this dissociation, but I sometimes want to, just to feel somewhat alive.

I'll return to this site in the future and write of my healing, should it happen. 

Thanks so much for reading this undoubtedly addled mess of writing I've been spewing out for the last 10 months... 

Best wishes to all who have been hurt and are still fighting through this healing journey.

Shane.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Shane88L

Hello everyone,

 

Just thought I'd drop by and update!

It has now been over a year since having quit my last zyprexa tablet cold turkey. This feels like somewhat of a milestone, and I'm pleased to have made it through.

 

I am not yet 100% healed (Still have lingering withdrawal effects such as sudden hot/cold shivers up and down entire body (very hard to explain - I believe it is something to do with my nervous system), poor sleep with vivid dreams every night which I confuse with reality quite often, inability to fully relax, tinnitus, tingling pinprick-like sensations over legs and feet, and a fairly constant dp/dr state that can now certainly be called a disorder), but there are many more positives now. I can also tolerate those mentioned lingering effects now, as I have become accustomed to them. I have accepted that this is my state of  being which is temporary. I feel good.

 

I'm glad to be alive, even though it is still challenging quite a lot of the time. I don't believe that I can ever get to that dark place again. I can tolerate far more now.

Through this experience, I have become so much stronger than I used to be. 
I'll come back in another year and let you know how I'm getting on!
Thanks for all of your help and support up until now. 

 

All the best,

 

Shane.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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hayduke

Good on you Shane88L, hopefully all that bad jazz keeps settling down as you go.

 

Cheers


*** I am not a health professional - your actions are your own ***

 

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

 

10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014 gave slight weight loss but mediocre sleep.  Abrupt x-taper to try aripiprazole Dec 2014 increasingly restless (Freddy the blind man could've seen that coming, shame about the pdoc) then back onto 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

Round 1:  2015 10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine.   Hadn't researched, just decided to try it myself with pill cutter.  Easy enough.  Next cut to 3 1/3mg for 2 weeks had me struggling to function.  Reverted to 5mg, thought that was as far as I could go.

Round 2:  Given Breggin to read, found SA.  Taper from 5 to 2.5mg over five months.  Titrate liquid suspension using Rhi's method.  Cuts and holds all done by feel.  All samples at start of month in mg:

2018:  Feb 5.0 | Mar 4.5 | Apr 4.25 | May 3.7 | Jun 3.3 | Jul 3.1 | Aug 2.9 | Sep 2.5 and six month hold

Round 3:  2.5mg and below.  EMDR work unearthed and resolved root trauma at around 2.1mg

2019:  Jan 2.5 | Feb 2.3 | Mar 2.215 / EMDR / Apr 1.976 | May 1.875 | Jun 1.825 | Jul 1.625 | Aug 1.525 | Sep 1.46 | Oct 1.3 | Nov 1.225 | Dec 1.25

2020:  Jan 1.214 | Feb 1.1 | Mar 1.0 🙂 | Apr 0.88 | May 0.82 | June 0.74 | July 0.69 | Aug 0.61 | Sep 0.59

‘If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.’  -- Ram Dass

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Shane88L

Hello everyone,

 

I know I said I would update again in another year, but I thought that it would be nice to continue to take note here of my improvements as I progress through withdrawals, so, I guess I'll continue to update! =P

 

I have managed to sleep from 10pm until 6am for the past few nights for the first time in over a year. How amazing! No phone for distraction purposes, no internet, just the darkness and quiet.

This is truly telling me that I am still seeing improvements, and the big ones seem to be happening more recently (roughly 14 months into w/ds)

My dreams are vivid as usual, but I'm growing more accepting of them over time. It is perfectly ok.

 

I am starting to believe that I will keep improving and life will be better than it used to be, even before taking those medications.

 

Sending all of you people suffering my love... 

 

Shane.

 

Oh! I also recently went to a job interview for a full time position, and got the job! First time since having taken and w/d'd from that drug. My wife even thinks I've become a stronger person. There are indeed positives to this crappy journey after all.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Erell

Hi Shane 

 

Thank you for this positive update  : it is so important for every survivors here To read about improvements.

 

Sleep is very important  : you are now getting good nights of sleep, good news for your recovery :)

And congratulations for this new job !

 

Wish you more healing soon !

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : weaning Paroxetine 20mg. 3% every 15 days.

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

Current medication : 7mg Fluoxetine + 1mg Diazepam + toothpick Paroxetine 

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Variance

I can certainly relate to the nothingness and numbness Shane and just not feeling the same person as before, but I'm also becoming more accustomed and accepting of it. It's so ironic, but I think the more you accept that this is the situation for now, the less of a problem it all seems. When you agonise and wallow in your symptoms, it feels like it's always going to be that way.

 

Congrats on the new job!


Jan-Jun 2018 - citalopram 20mg

Jun-Aug 2018 - relatively quick taper over about 10 weeks

Most notable after-effects anhedonia, PSSD, emotional blunting

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Shane88L

Hi Erell, hi Variance,

 

Thanks for your replies! Ah, feeling very capable now in work and doing far better than I've been for the past 14 months. I still have lingering symptoms, but I very much agree with you Variance, accepting the situation removes a great deal of difficulty from the journey. 

 

I'll continue to update as the days pass.

 

Shane.

Also, thank you @hayduke for the response! I completely missed it! Cheers!

 


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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hayduke

Right on Shane 🙂

 


*** I am not a health professional - your actions are your own ***

 

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

 

10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014 gave slight weight loss but mediocre sleep.  Abrupt x-taper to try aripiprazole Dec 2014 increasingly restless (Freddy the blind man could've seen that coming, shame about the pdoc) then back onto 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

Round 1:  2015 10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine.   Hadn't researched, just decided to try it myself with pill cutter.  Easy enough.  Next cut to 3 1/3mg for 2 weeks had me struggling to function.  Reverted to 5mg, thought that was as far as I could go.

Round 2:  Given Breggin to read, found SA.  Taper from 5 to 2.5mg over five months.  Titrate liquid suspension using Rhi's method.  Cuts and holds all done by feel.  All samples at start of month in mg:

2018:  Feb 5.0 | Mar 4.5 | Apr 4.25 | May 3.7 | Jun 3.3 | Jul 3.1 | Aug 2.9 | Sep 2.5 and six month hold

Round 3:  2.5mg and below.  EMDR work unearthed and resolved root trauma at around 2.1mg

2019:  Jan 2.5 | Feb 2.3 | Mar 2.215 / EMDR / Apr 1.976 | May 1.875 | Jun 1.825 | Jul 1.625 | Aug 1.525 | Sep 1.46 | Oct 1.3 | Nov 1.225 | Dec 1.25

2020:  Jan 1.214 | Feb 1.1 | Mar 1.0 🙂 | Apr 0.88 | May 0.82 | June 0.74 | July 0.69 | Aug 0.61 | Sep 0.59

‘If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.’  -- Ram Dass

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Shane88L

Hello everyone,

 

Just wondering about some medicine I picked up today to combat what seems to be allergies I have developed over the past month (almost 32 years old and this is the first time I have ever experienced allergies.) I have had a terribly itchy throat which is also somewhat painful for the past month. 

The medicine is called Clarityn (10mg Loratadine and also contains lactose) which is used for the relief of sneezing, runny nose and itchy eyes.

 

I'm feeling reluctant to take it however...

Do you think it would be ok to take? I would still consider myself in withdrawals due to the remaining symptoms I have, so I really don't want to set myself back in any way by taking something possibly unsafe.

 

Wishing everyone strength on their recovery journey,

 

Shane.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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Glosmom

Hi Shane, Sorry to read about the sore throat / allergies.  I'd encourage you to read Train28's story before you take it. There is always a risk with anything.  Don't forget medications are being sold to entice humans to take them to 'heal their condition'  when in actuality most ailments will heal on their own, in time, especially sore throats.  A decision only you can make, of course,  about your discomfort; but the 'wool is being pulled over eyes' not just in the case of neuroleptic medications.   Wishing you healing soon. Glosmom


2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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Shane88L
7 minutes ago, Glosmom said:

Hi Shane, Sorry to read about the sore throat / allergies.  I'd encourage you to read Train28's story before you take it. There is always a risk with anything.  Don't forget medications are being sold to entice humans to take them to 'heal their condition'  when in actuality most ailments will heal on their own, in time, especially sore throats.  A decision only you can make, of course,  about your discomfort; but the 'wool is being pulled over eyes' not just in the case of neuroleptic medications.   Wishing you healing soon. Glosmom

Thanks for your reply Glosmom,

 

I won't be taking it now. I will find coping strategies to help relieve the symptoms now.

Thanks again for your response,

 

Best regards,

 

Shane.


Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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hayduke
8 hours ago, Shane88L said:

Hello everyone,

 

Just wondering about some medicine I picked up today to combat what seems to be allergies I have developed over the past month (almost 32 years old and this is the first time I have ever experienced allergies.) I have had a terribly itchy throat which is also somewhat painful for the past month. 

The medicine is called Clarityn (10mg Loratadine and also contains lactose) which is used for the relief of sneezing, runny nose and itchy eyes.

 

I'm feeling reluctant to take it however...

Do you think it would be ok to take? I would still consider myself in withdrawals due to the remaining symptoms I have, so I really don't want to set myself back in any way by taking something possibly unsafe.

 

Wishing everyone strength on their recovery journey,

 

Shane.

 

Hi Shane,

 

That's a hay fever drug, essentially.  Its main characteristic is that it's an antihistamine.

 

Olanzapine is a histamine, but you're not actually taking it at the moment yeah?  The histamine accounts for a lot of its sedative effects.  I think only quetiapine has more histamine action in this class of drugs.

 

So a 'goofball' effect where you're piling antihistamine onto a histamine is a concern.

 

I got dealt mild hay fever in the generic lottery (mum has it) so I've been down this road.  It didn't show up till my 30s as well.

 

When I tried claritine at the same time as risperidone (also a histamine but not as strongly as olanzapine IIRC) it gave me mild relief from the hay fever but I was sleepy, cranky and very uncomfortable especially having to show up for work in this state.  I decided it was worse than the hay fever!  I asked the former psychiatrist about it and he said (IIRC) there are three main flavours of antihistamine, and personal chemistry determines which one is most suitable for a given individual is the best - and told me try them all and choose the least worst.

 

I found I could take cetirizine ('zyrtec') without too much bother and it treated the hay fever ok when it got unbearable.  Also a nasal spray labelled "azonaire" has been ok for me.  I tend not to take these unless I have to so they remain effective - if you hammer them for long periods they lose effectiveness.

 

Cutting to the chase, when I realised the olanzapine was going to have me in a wheelchair then an early grave, one of the symptoms that set off my concern and subsequent taper was something like hives, an itchy red rash.  Presumably from the histamine component of the olanzapine.  Thankfully that had abated along with some other side effects by the time I'd got to 2.5mg.

 

So yeah you could look at trying a few of these antihistamines, it will probably help to know which one you can lean on when it gets bad - but the best course of action is to identify the source of your allergy and then work out how to avoid or minimise contact with it.

Cheers, hayduke


*** I am not a health professional - your actions are your own ***

 

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

 

10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014 gave slight weight loss but mediocre sleep.  Abrupt x-taper to try aripiprazole Dec 2014 increasingly restless (Freddy the blind man could've seen that coming, shame about the pdoc) then back onto 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

Round 1:  2015 10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine.   Hadn't researched, just decided to try it myself with pill cutter.  Easy enough.  Next cut to 3 1/3mg for 2 weeks had me struggling to function.  Reverted to 5mg, thought that was as far as I could go.

Round 2:  Given Breggin to read, found SA.  Taper from 5 to 2.5mg over five months.  Titrate liquid suspension using Rhi's method.  Cuts and holds all done by feel.  All samples at start of month in mg:

2018:  Feb 5.0 | Mar 4.5 | Apr 4.25 | May 3.7 | Jun 3.3 | Jul 3.1 | Aug 2.9 | Sep 2.5 and six month hold

Round 3:  2.5mg and below.  EMDR work unearthed and resolved root trauma at around 2.1mg

2019:  Jan 2.5 | Feb 2.3 | Mar 2.215 / EMDR / Apr 1.976 | May 1.875 | Jun 1.825 | Jul 1.625 | Aug 1.525 | Sep 1.46 | Oct 1.3 | Nov 1.225 | Dec 1.25

2020:  Jan 1.214 | Feb 1.1 | Mar 1.0 🙂 | Apr 0.88 | May 0.82 | June 0.74 | July 0.69 | Aug 0.61 | Sep 0.59

‘If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.’  -- Ram Dass

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