hereandthere: 6 months off Lexapro/Wellbutrin

[hereandthere1]

Hello, I am coming here to hopefully get some positive feedback. I was put on antidepressants as a teen during my angsty years. I had pretty moderate depression then and was put on different things over the years (prozac, paxil, zoloft). I was on and off them for the last 15 years or so. In 2015 I was not on any meds after coming off 80mg of prozac very slowly, and was struck with SEVERE panic attacks. I was put on Lexapro 20mg which seemed to immediately help at least get me out of my bed. I had energy issues so they added Wellbutrin. I went up to 400mg. I felt great at first but the longer I was on it, the less energy and more angry I became. I stayed on them both for about 2 years, and 1.5 years ago I decided to wean off the wellbutrin. That went pretty well. I then decided to come off the Lexapro since I had my panic under control for so long and didnt feel it was helping with anything else. I took a good 6 months of tapering off the lexapro. In June this year I was completely off of them. About 2 weeks after it was out of my system I was hit with the worst depression I have ever experienced. Then the anger came, I wake up raging angry, completely unlike myself, I even reached a point where I punched my car door this week and it was a real wake-up call. I have never had this severe of depression before. My doctor of course said I was "torturing" myself and gave me a script for Effexor which I never filled. I figure I made it this far (about 6 months) so I refuse to go back on an antidepressant. I am wondering WHEN this may subside. I can deal with the physical effects, I can deal with stomach issues, brain zaps, low energy, messed up sex drive, ect, but I can't deal with the suicidal feelings daily and complete lack of will to do anything. I can barely maintain my career and am supposed to be planning my wedding. My mother was also diagnosed with terminal lung cancer around the same time I came off the AD's so I know that did not help but I am stubborn and will not go back. Please share your experiences if you have any with Lexapro in particular, as I feel this is the one my brain is having the most difficult time healing from. to add: i am still on trazodone to sleep and klonopin as needed if I do end up with a panic attack. 

I have incorporated a much better diet, light exercise, daily meditation, different herbs like lemonbalm and catnip for stress, ect. PLEASE HELP. I am at my wits end. thanks in advance. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, hereandthere.

 

On 10/8/2018 at 11:58 AM, hereandthere1 said:

after coming off 80mg of prozac very slowly, and was struck with SEVERE panic attacks. I was put on Lexapro 20mg which seemed to immediately help

 

What I see is: You got withdrawal symptoms after going off (a ridiculously high dosage of) Prozac. The Lexapro helped with this, and you have been medicated for withdrawal syndrome ever since.

 

While you think 6 months was a long enough taper for Lexapro, you got withdrawal syndrome from coming off that, too, 6 months ago. That is the "depression", irritability, and emotional lability you are experiencing.

 

Despite what doctors believe, withdrawal syndrome can last many months. Do you still have "stomach issues, brain zaps, low energy, messed up sex drive"? How have your symptoms changed over the last 6 months?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

[hereandthere1]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, hereandthere.

 

 

What I see is: You got withdrawal symptoms after going off (a ridiculously high dosage of) Prozac. The Lexapro helped with this, and you have been medicated for withdrawal syndrome ever since.

 

While you think 6 months was a long enough taper for Lexapro, you got withdrawal syndrome from coming off that, too, 6 months ago. That is the "depression", irritability, and emotional lability you are experiencing.

 

Despite what doctors believe, withdrawal syndrome can last many months. Do you still have "stomach issues, brain zaps, low energy, messed up sex drive"? How have your symptoms changed over the last 6 months?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

Thank you for your feedback. I tried to do my drug and withdrawal history for my signature but i honestly can't remember exact dates or amounts or even what kinds which is probably why my post was so vague as well. I apologize for that. I will try to go back and add that when I can remember more clearly. 

 

I agree the Prozac was ridiculously high. My dad has OCD and has been on that dose for his entire adult life, so when i went into eating disorder treatment they decided that may work for me. (did not work.) 

anyway, I do not have any of those listed side effects anymore, such a stomach issues, brain zaps or energy issues. It feels purely emotional as far as the withdrawal. That is how my symptoms have changed over the last 6 months, they went from noticeably physical to excruciatingly emotional. I appreciate you pointing out that my initial panic attacks may have been part of my withdrawal from the Prozac. Seems I may have been in one long withdrawal period for the last few years. Do you think a year would be a good time frame for expected healing if I am using other modalities for coping such as therapy? I know everyone is different. I just need a little ray of light that I can heal in my lifetime at least.... tia

[Altostrata]

Recovery can be slow and frustrating;  it sounds like you have already experienced some improvement, which is a good sign.

 

On 10/8/2018 at 11:58 AM, hereandthere1 said:

i am still on trazodone to sleep and klonopin as needed if I do end up with a panic attack. 

 

Do you have trouble sleeping? What is your sleep pattern How often do you get panic attacks? How often do you use Klonopin?

 

During the day, you might be experiencing an adverse reaction to the previous night's trazodone. Do your symptoms follow any daily pattern?  Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.