Asi1309: bad withdrawal

[Altostrata]

If you are sensitive to light, you should stay in a dark room and wear sunglasses to go outside. If you are sensitive to noise, you should avoid noise.

 

People's nervous systems become hypersensitive after going off psychiatric drugs. It can take some weeks for this to diminish. In the meantime, you will want to avoid the kinds of stimulation you find uncomfortable.

[Asi1309]

I'm going through HELL LITERALLY HELL, I didn't know I could suffer this bad in my LIFE!

and i can't reinstate either, because everytime I try to reinstate I'll get unbearable all body sensitivity which I can only describe as the most hellish experience!

So I'm stuck I need to ******* suffer every second of my day WTF Is going on ?!?!

I literally can't take it  no more!

That's the most hellish experience ever!!!

I don't know how to describe it no more expet I'm suffering so badly 😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢

How long is this hell gonna Last?

And how does anyone could survive this I'm literally clenching my teeth and pushing every second and it's been sometime since I stopped those drugs, they ruined my life and any chance of living a normal happy life I've had!

What's the point of going on?

How could anybody suffer this much?!?!?!

[Asi1309]

I want to die I can't take it no more

[Alanmane]

5 minutes ago, Asi1309 said:

Quiero morir no puedo soportarlo más.

U are not alone, wait time... A huge

[Altostrata]

Asi, how's your sleep now?

 

I'm going to be honest: I believe you feel "hypersensitivity" after reinstating even 0.2mg-0.5mg sertraline because you fear the drug.

 

To determine if one is having an adverse drug reaction, we need to see daily notes. You have not posted daily notes as requested.

 

Otherwise, you have post-acute withdrawal syndrome, like many people here. Please read other Intro topics to see how other people are coping with it.

 

Do you feel less distrust for Prozac? You might try 0.2mg Prozac instead. (See this topic for an alternative.) You're going to have to keep daily notes about your drug intake and symptom pattern to let us know how it affects you.

 

Reinstating is the only way medicine knows of stopping withdrawal symptoms. If you don't want to reinstate, you will need to stop dramatizing, accept a long, frustrating recovery process, and manage your symptoms with non-drug means.

[eymen23]

1 hour ago, Asi1309 said:

I'm going through HELL LITERALLY HELL, I didn't know I could suffer this bad in my LIFE!

and i can't reinstate either, because everytime I try to reinstate I'll get unbearable all body sensitivity which I can only describe as the most hellish experience!

So I'm stuck I need to ******* suffer every second of my day WTF Is going on ?!?!

I literally can't take it  no more!

That's the most hellish experience ever!!!

I don't know how to describe it no more expet I'm suffering so badly 😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢

How long is this hell gonna Last?

And how does anyone could survive this I'm literally clenching my teeth and pushing every second and it's been sometime since I stopped those drugs, they ruined my life and any chance of living a normal happy life I've had!

What's the point of going on?

How could anybody suffer this much?!?!?!

 

I’m so sorry to see you’re going through such a tremendous amount of suffering. You mentioned meditation/mindfulness had helped before and you had an accomplished 9 months. 

 

I know that when the pain becomes super intense, it’s so hard to accept it and all thoughts of coping go out the window. But if you are suffering so badly and there is absolutely nothing you can do in the moment, please try and accept it as best you can. Mindfulness has been a literal life saver for me at times of extreme despair. 

[Asi1309]

14 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Asi, how's your sleep now?

 

I'm going to be honest: I believe you feel "hypersensitivity" after reinstating even 0.2mg-0.5mg sertraline because you fear the drug.

 

To determine if one is having an adverse drug reaction, we need to see daily notes. You have not posted daily notes as requested.

 

Otherwise, you have post-acute withdrawal syndrome, like many people here. Please read other Intro topics to see how other people are coping with it.

 

Do you feel less distrust for Prozac? You might try 0.2mg Prozac instead. (See this topic for an alternative.) You're going to have to keep daily notes about your drug intake and symptom pattern to let us know how it affects you.

 

Reinstating is the only way medicine knows of stopping withdrawal symptoms. If you don't want to reinstate, you will need to stop dramatizing, accept a long, frustrating recovery process, and manage your symptoms with non-drug means.

My hypersensitivity is real and is aggravated by exercise, and when I try to reinstate .

It's very real and painful and I feel every part of my body is sensitive and hurt, 

Believe me its feel like my body is shouting at me when I'm exercising and afterwards...

The physical side doesn't bother me so much I can handle physical symptoms,  its something else I just feel like something is very wrong in a way that I clench my teeth,  it's just suffering. 

[Asi1309]

I don't think its post acute,  i feel like its acute

[Altostrata]

If exercise triggers your symptoms, don't exercise as intensely.

[Asi1309]

Ok so I reinstated 1 mg last night, I have a question I do you know if you need to increase the dose?, and how much should you give each increase.

[Asi1309]

Or should I stay at the same dose ?

What are the guidelines here 

[Asi1309]

My most struggling thing now is the physical symptoms, not the hypersensitivity, or kindling I dunno how to call it, but physically I'm feeling really bad it's not mental it's like a junkie who would get a pain like burning sensation and it's very strong and I cannot take it its unbearable like my body is going haywire

...

[Shep]

5 hours ago, Asi1309 said:

Ok so I reinstated 1 mg last night, I have a question I do you know if you need to increase the dose?, and how much should you give each increase.

 

Please read: 

 

On 10/8/2012 at 7:17 PM, Altostrata said:

How long should you give reinstatement?

• It takes at least 4 days for your body to fully register the addition of a neuroactive drug. Unless you have an immediate bad reaction, observe your symptom pattern for about a week to see if the reinstatement is helping. If you have an immediate bad reaction, reduce or stop taking the drug.
• After reinstatement, the amount of time needed to alleviate withdrawal symptoms (stabilizing) varies according to the individual. Relief can be felt immediately, after some weeks, or after some months.
• Once you feel withdrawal symptoms are reduced after reinstatement, give your nervous system time to stabilize before attempting dosage reduction. Think in terms of months, not days.
• Be patient after you reinstate. Reinstatement may not immediately eliminate all withdrawal symptoms. You may still experience waves of symptoms, which usually lessen as time goes on. Do not attempt to taper again until you feel symptom-free, or at least until your withdrawal symptoms are mild and tolerable.
• The dose needed for effective reinstatement varies according to the individual.

 

 

[Asi1309]

So today after experiencing an increase in symptoms I took only 0.5 mg and it currently been a week since I reinstated...

 

[Altostrata]

Not clear how long you've been taking 0.5mg sertraline -- has it been a week?

 

Over the week, have your symptoms increased or decreased overall? Do you feel better or worse after taking 0.5mg for a week?

 

What do you mean, "increase in symptoms"? What symptoms? How intense were these symptoms, how long did they last?

 

By now, you know we need more detail when you report "symptoms." Please keep this in mind and provide the detail instead of making us ask for it.

[Asi1309]

I'm sorry it's just so hard for me to describe because even I don't completely understand what I'm going through and the names of this symptoms,  English is my second language and also I don't like indulging in symptoms and stuff because I'll tend to obsess about them...

Anyway, I tried reinstatement (again 🙄) on Monday last week 10.12.18, and it basically went like this: 

10.12.18     0.1 mg

11.12.18     0.1 mg

12.12.18     1.5 mg

13.12.18     0.5 mg

14.12.18     0.5 mg 

15.12.18     1 mg

16.12.18     1 mg

17.12.18     0.5 mg

I know Its all over the place and not systematic at all but, I'm suffering so much and its hard to make smart decisions right now. 

I'm experiencing so many symptoms right now physically and mentally, so my only parameter is how much I suffer every day, its seems like I'm very sensitized by withdrawal, and even small doses such as 0-1 mg make the kindling worst.

[Asi1309]

 Overall I don't think there is a reduction in symptoms.

[Asi1309]

Besides more kindling 

[Asi1309]

For now I am willing to take more kindling if there can be a reduction in the other symptoms, there's so many of them I need a list to copy from, but let's just  look at it as the amount of suffering I'm going through, now its unbearable like a 10, on a scale of 0-10, it's just easier for me to describe it that way and the only thing I'm experiencing since reinstatement is increased kindling/hyper physical sensitivity..

[Altostrata]

What do you mean by kindling? When does this happen?

 

It would be a much better experiment if you took the same dosage at the same time each day. I need to know your symptoms before and after the dose. Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

[Asi1309]

4 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

What do you mean by kindling? When does this happen?

 

It would be a much better experiment if you took the same dosage at the same time each day. I need to know your symptoms before and after the dose. Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

I dunno if it's called kindling or not but, feeling like my entire body feels super sensitive and I can feel every movement every touch, its make me uncomfortable in my own skin,  and i can't workout cause of this, also the pin and needles and aches in the body.

 

[Asi1309]

I'll try to make daily notes from now on alto

[Altostrata]

You reported these exact same symptoms before trying 0.5mg sertraline, what's different now?

 

This is an exercise in simple logic. I understand the language difficulty, but sure you understand what I'm looking for here.

[Asi1309]

Ok so after this last failed reinstatement attempt that lasts 2 weeks, I couldn't tolerate even 0.1 mg of sertraline, because I had basically experienced powerful electrical shocks throughout my body, and basically my nervous system screaming at me, i stopped and I guess it's time to acknowledge that it's to late for me to reinstate, I missed the wagon 😞

Now I'm left with a lot of withdrawal symptoms, but my most dominant one is physical, it's feels like my entire nervous system is in pain and screaming, and it's so powerful and painful and distracting, that I cannot focus on anything else,

I would like to say that my nervous became sensetized by withdrawal, but I would only notice the sensitivity symptoms when I would exercise vigorously, now after those reinstatement attempts, I had started to experience physical pain and discomfort in the nervous system constantly.

How much time can it take for it to calm down?

[Asi1309]

Hey guys can I please get some encouragement and reassurance?

It's tough to go through this thing alone,  with a family who Doesn't understand and people think's you're a loser...

[ChessieCat]

On 12/18/2018 at 7:03 AM, Altostrata said:

Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

 

[Asi1309]

Its seems futile at times to fight those feelings and thoughts, its just leads to nothing...

I guess it's the neuro emotions, but it's so hard to deal with people who sees nothing of you beside you being a complete loser, and you feel like you're trapped and incapable to change those thoughts and feelings its just a sh*tty place to be, even more so when no one understands!

[Asi1309]

21 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

I'm off all meds from 16.7.18, I do not like to indulge in the symptoms and such, it scares me, I would like to say that the physical hell 8 was experiencing subsided a bit now, and it become some what bearable, and that the mental/psychological one are more of the struggle now.

I'm still cannot do any physical activity even walking at all, because of my severe general sensitivity.

[Asi1309]

I don't want to discuss about raw symptoms at this stage, its uncomfortable for me, I would like some words of encouragement that I'm not a loser and not relapsing etc...

I don't know, just to here I would heal and that It wouldn't last long...

[Altostrata]

Asi, we need you to cooperate so we might assist with relieving your withdrawal symptoms.

 

If you don't want to cooperate, we cannot help you and you're not helping yourself. No amount of reassurance from people here is going to convince you that you are not a loser, etc., that's coming from your own inner voice. We don't offer that kind of therapy. Please seek counseling from a psychotherapist or other mental health professional for ways to manage your inner voice.

[Asi1309]

13 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Asi, we need you to cooperate so we might assist with relieving your withdrawal symptoms.

 

If you don't want to cooperate, we cannot help you and you're not helping yourself. No amount of reassurance from people here is going to convince you that you are not a loser, etc., that's coming from your own inner voice. We don't offer that kind of therapy. Please seek counseling from a psychotherapist or other mental health professional for ways to manage your inner voice.

I just meant a little reassurance that I'm going to survive this and coming out of the other side, I'm not complaining about symptoms etc, I know they are withdrawal symptoms, I know their gonna pass, reinstatement is not an option for me I tried 4 times already,  It was just too late...

I accepted it by now,

How do you want me to cooperate?

I realized if I CT'd that I had nothing to share in symptoms and dosgae etc...

[Asi1309]

Can you be more specific on what do you need ?

[Anubhav]

Hey, I just read your thread..... The only advice I can give you is not to reinstate at any cost of you have become sensitive to the drug trust me there are many guys who made it worse by reinstating including me..... Many have also blamed the mods over here for telling them to reinstate.....

[Asi1309]

In the loser part I meant the relentless fears and thoughts what is called here neuro emotions,  If you could assure me about that, I didn't meant you to tell me I'm a great person or something like that, I know already that it's a symptom, I know, and it very hard to rationalize through it, so please do not understand me wrong,  I just wanted to share a little an to talk about my experiences, I thought this was a place I can practice that in a safe and encouraging way...

We all know that withdrawal is ugly and not a clean process, so it has its hugh bout of emotional and psychological impact.

And you know withdrawal is different, 

But my psychologist do not!

What I'm referring here to is the withdrawal symptoms so please come forward to me and try to understand,  it seems like every time I come here I cannot share or say anything, and everything I say comes off wrong or something i dunno, withdrawal is messy and everybody has their on way of surviving it so please respect mine and allow me to share and Express myself in a respectful way...

[Asi1309]

10 minutes ago, Anubhav said:

Hey, I just read your thread..... The only advice I can give you is not to reinstate at any cost of you have become sensitive to the drug trust me there are many guys who made it worse by reinstating including me..... Many have also blamed the mods over here for telling them to reinstate.....

I'm not looking for advice, nor I'm blaming anyone or any mod, far from it!!!

This forum helped me a lot and it is my life line this days, as I resite the words written in this forum by the mods, they are like mantras for me seriously guys, everything is ok, I just came here to hear a little encouragement etc...

Just to clarify 😅

[Asi1309]

Because you guys are the only people really that understand!,