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GirlfromD

Disliking people I used to like. Do you relate?

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GirlfromD

In my time through withdrawal i have noticed this. Some people which i used to like, i now dislike very intense. It's almost as if i woke up one day and looked at people very differently (especially some) and in some cases didn't like what i saw, and now i almost feel like i hate them, while prior to wd i had no problem. An example of this is my brothers girlfriend which i had no problem with while on the meds, she wanted to party and drink all the time and i participated in that. Now that i'm off the meds i just see her as this very attention-seeking, immature and annoying person, and i absolutely can't stand her! I have another sister who can't stand her either so i know it's not just me, although my feelings are more ekstreme because of wd. I experienced this disliking thing with other people in my family too. I don't like being so angry and hateful all the time, but I suddenly feel completely different towards some people and i just don't like them. I hope that this eventually can subside, because i was never like this even before the meds, i was much more calm and loving person. Anybody experienced this?

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sadandconfused

Hi GirlfromD, 

 

yes I have definitely experienced this and it's in an incredibly disturbing symptom. I've been going through withdrawal for over two years now and I still cannot tell what are my own thoughts and what's not, so I really do think this is a withdrawal issue. My anxiety also seems to be triggered by certain people, to the point where I don't even wanna be around them and I was never like that while on the pills or before the pills so I really hope it'll go away eventually. 

Best of luck to you! 

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GirlfromD
8 minutes ago, sadandconfused said:

Hi GirlfromD, 

 

yes I have definitely experienced this and it's in an incredibly disturbing symptom. I've been going through withdrawal for over two years now and I still cannot tell what are my own thoughts and what's not, so I really do think this is a withdrawal issue. My anxiety also seems to be triggered by certain people, to the point where I don't even wanna be around them and I was never like that while on the pills or before the pills so I really hope it'll go away eventually. 

Best of luck to you! 

Hi sadandconfused.

 

Yes, it really is a disturbing symtom, and i also get really bad conscious and feel super bad about myself after these outbursts of anger. I completely relate to what you said, I have also been through withdrawal for 2 years and some months now, and it can be very difficult to distinguish between one's true feelings and which ones that are caused by wd. I think there might be a splash of something real in some of these intense emotions, but that they just get amplified extremely by neuro-emotions, but i'm not sure it's just a theory, although i wish and hope that it will lessen and disappear over time.

 

I also struggled with anxiety, but fortunately it became much more tolerable during this year, and i'm sure that it will eventually disappear over time and lessen for you too.

Happy healing.

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Walking

I am finding that it's super-easy to fall down the hole of emotional reactivity spiralling into hysteria, with even the tiniest trigger. A friend made an offhand comment the other day, which normally would only momentarily been a blip on my radar screen, to which I reacted with victimy anger. 

 

It feels to me as though anything or anyone about which I am carrying even the tiniest bit of resentment, (which is almost everything and everyone) is far game for being blown so far out of proportion for me emotionally, that it takes just the mere mention of it/them for me to go quickly into meltdown condition.

 

I am on the 3rd and last round of stepping down, and this happened the first two times as well, until my moods finally leveled off toward the end of each stepdown level. I am hopeful that it repeat that pattern, and am simply trying to hold on in the meantime. Sharing with those close to me what I'm experiencing, and trying to lay low and not have much contact with others, right now.

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GirlfromD
11 hours ago, Walking said:

I am finding that it's super-easy to fall down the hole of emotional reactivity spiralling into hysteria, with even the tiniest trigger. A friend made an offhand comment the other day, which normally would only momentarily been a blip on my radar screen, to which I reacted with victimy anger. 

 

It feels to me as though anything or anyone about which I am carrying even the tiniest bit of resentment, (which is almost everything and everyone) is far game for being blown so far out of proportion for me emotionally, that it takes just the mere mention of it/them for me to go quickly into meltdown condition.

 

I am on the 3rd and last round of stepping down, and this happened the first two times as well, until my moods finally leveled off toward the end of each stepdown level. I am hopeful that it repeat that pattern, and am simply trying to hold on in the meantime. Sharing with those close to me what I'm experiencing, and trying to lay low and not have much contact with others, right now.

 

I know that very well, as how you describe it. 

 

I also have a hard time dealing with my irritation/anger, sometimes very small things will set me off too, and even small arguments/everyday verbal stuff are easily blown out of prorprotions for me at many times. Just yesterday i ended up in a big argument with a family member, that made my symtoms a lot worse and gave me that "doomed" feeling. 

 

If I had an outburst or end up in a big discussion, it fills me up emotionally/physical for hours, sometimes even days, depending on how big the argument/conflict was to begin with. 

 

It's really wearing me out at times and sometimes exacerbates my withdrawal symtoms. I have tried a lot of things to cope with these intense spirals of anger, anger diary, walking away (which ain't easy) even bought a punching bag, but somehow the rage is still here.

 

Have you found some coping mechanism yet, to help you dealing with these distressing conflict situations, and in that case what do you find help you? Other than lowering contact with others.

 

Of course with time this shall all pass too, as this is no doubt a withdrawal symtom. 

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Walking
7 hours ago, GirlfromD said:

If I had an outburst or end up in a big discussion, it fills me up emotionally/physical for hours, sometimes even days, depending on how big the argument/conflict was to begin with. 

 

It's really wearing me out at times and sometimes exacerbates my withdrawal symtoms. I have tried a lot of things to cope with these intense spirals of anger, anger diary, walking away (which ain't easy) even bought a punching bag, but somehow the rage is still here.

 

Have you found some coping mechanism yet, to help you dealing with these distressing conflict situations, and in that case what do you find help you? Other than lowering contact with others.

 

Of course with time this shall all pass too, as this is no doubt a withdrawal symtom. 

Yes, what you describe is also my experience. Every part of it, sadly.

 

I try to remember who I am/was pre-WD, in an effort to keep in mind that these are neuro-emotions and that this period of high emotional reactivity will fade and disappear as the med fades from view in my rear view mirror.

 

I **HAVE** to  believe that; I simply categorically refuse to accept that this is how life will be always. (Easy to feel this sense of determination now since I'm having a pretty good day today.)

 

I don't really feel there's much I can do to bring myself back from this rageful place. It feels all-consuming, and completely takes me over. 

 

So I try as much as possible to "act as if" this is not happening so as to not alienate everyone who crosses my path.

 

I wish I had more to offer, as I feel these techniques are largely weak and ineffectual. Perhaps a shred of helpfulness is better than none at all?

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GirlfromD

Thanks Walking 😊 that is very helpful, and perhaps like you said: "act as if" sometimes is one of the only few options we have available, that actually do work. To just "fake it till you make it."

 

I'm happy you had a good day, those are proof we are going in the right direction. Today i had a good day too, they bring optimism, hope and less rage/anger.

 

Anger is very powerful. It is designed to make us survive (fight or flight) it gives us a signal that "something isn't right." 

 

Maybe because the centers that controls cortisol and adrenaline is out of balance, we experience these intense moments of anger and rage. But this is just a theory though. 

 

I really do think we heal from this, we just need to let the storm pass, and wait for the sun to shine again. 

 

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