Olliepop: Not quite lost not quite found ... hi

[Olliepop]

I promised myself a few things I wanted to accomplish this year.  Finish reading Anna Karenina, loose 10 lbs and discontinue suboxone and lexapro.  I’m halfway through my book.  I’m gaining weight at about 1-2 lbs a month and only halfway off of the pills.

 

I have been on both the lexapro and the suboxone for about three years.  Best and worst three years of my life.  Best in that I have a home, a caring partner whom I love, my family and my health is well and I’m enjoying work.  Why would I discontinue the drugs if things have continuously improved while I’ve been on them?  I guess I just want to see what life is like free of man made drugs.

 

i have been on some shape or form of antidepressants my entire life.  Since he age of about 17 the doctors have shoved medications down my throat and convinced me there is something wrong or different with my brain chemistry.  It almost seemed romantic; that I was a sort of damaged or broken being and blamed it for all my shortcomings and excused my addiction and compulsive behavior. 

 

I am 41 now.  Happily coupled for 6 years strong and no longer physically addicted to opiates as I was prior to the subs and the lexapro.

 

I am ready to experience life on my own terms and see who I really am underneath all these drugs.  

 

I have striggled with weight and lost and lost and then gained nearly 60 lbs and I feel like a sugar addiction is to blame, partially involved by the opiates.

 

I am here to share my experience and provide and receive feedback and tips.  It’s a bumpy ride.  The withdrawal combo from the subs and lexapro is terrible, like the flu plus feeling mad in my head.

 

Yelling and agitated, tired and depressed with a touch of chills and body aches now. My taper started about a month ago, I steadily decreased both my 4mg dosage of Suboxome and the 30 mg dosage of Lexapro to about 2 mg and 5 mg respectively before I’m now only still taking the suboxone while completely discontinuing the lexapro.  I have been microdosing psilocybin tiny amounts to help me get through my demanding job that requires public speaking and giving training / instruction.

 

Wishing everybody a very safe recovery and hoping to share my experience and learn from others too.

 

God bless,

 

OlliePop the Cockapoo’s Mom, Yvonne.

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Hi Olliepop and welcome to SA,

 

To get you started please create your drug signature.  This will appear below each of your posts and makes it easy for us to see your drug history at a glance.  Please update it whenever you make a change.  Please make it nice simple by following these instructions (NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you):

• details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
• summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

Please use the Drug Interactions Checker for all current drugs you are taking and copy and paste the results or a link to them here in your Intro topic.

 

This is your own Introductions topic where you can ask questions about your own situation and journal your progress.

[Olliepop]

Thank you Chessie Cat, I hope this will help.  I’ve completed my signature.

 

I have been in bed all day.  Not sure how to shake this awful dibilitatiing feeling.  I am lathargic and having flu symptoms.  I had to take a small chip of my Suboxone but it’s not helping.  I know the real problem is the Lexapro.  It has ruined my mind.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Olliepop.

 

When was your last dose of Lexapro?

 

You have been brave but I fear a little too brave. You probably have withdrawal syndrome now, that's what's keeping you in bed. A tiny bit, such as 1mg, of Lexapro might help a lot. You can taper off that by miniscule amounts later.

 

Please don't change your Suboxone dosing for now.

 

For titrating Lexapro, see Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

[Olliepop]

Hi Altostrata,

 

it was about bout three days ago.  I was forced to take a little chip of lexapro just now, maybe 2.5 mg.

 

I feel awful, very depressed and wish for this to end.

 

Thank you for your response and support.

[ChessieCat]

3 hours ago, Olliepop said:

I was forced to take a little chip of lexapro just now, maybe 2.5 mg.

 

Pleased add date and dose to your drug signature.  Thank you.

[Olliepop]

Update:

 

Called my doctor, today was unbearable.  Crying and felt very despaired.  She wrote a script for 10mg and recommended staying on 10 until see her next week and we discuss.

 

Will keep all informed.

 

Thanks for the support and feedback, as well as patience as I learn the ropes on this kind forum.

[Olliepop]

I am unable to see if my signature is posting.  Can you confirm also if it meets he criteria / format?

[manymoretodays]

Hi Olliepop,

I can see your signature.  Thanks.  Good job!

• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs
• Include ALL drugs, doses, and dates (starting and stopping)
• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (e.g. mid-June) rather than relative time frames (e.g. 3 months ago)
• Spell out months (e.g. "January" or "Jan" as 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as 9 Jan 2016 or 1 Sept 2016)
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses

If you can just make the dates clearer when you get a chance.  Thank you.

Account settings

^ this should bring you back to your signature

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Yes, it is.  A few details to adjust only.  I posted on your introduction topic with directions.

Edited October 19, 2018 by manymoretodays

[ChessieCat]

29 minutes ago, Olliepop said:

She wrote a script for 10mg and recommended staying on 10 until see her next week and we discuss.

 

Before increasing your dose from 2.5mg please read post #1 of this topic:  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

It takes about 4 days for a dose change to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.  Going back up to 10mg may be too much.  Once we get withdrawal symptoms the CNS can become sensitised.

 

It's important to try not to panic and stay as calm and patient as possible during this time as the drug is getting into your system.

 

It is better to take a small amount and take another small amount to gradually increase rather than risk taking too much.  You might find that 5mg is enough.  The idea of reinstating isn't to get rid of withdrawal symptoms completely but to get them to a bearable level.

 

Please keep daily symptom notes on paper so that you can assess how reinstating is going.