Daisy: Effexor xr

[Carmie]

8 minutes ago, Daisy said:

You too Carmie❇️ (sun shining)

Daisy🌻

 

Thanks daisy, 

 

I’m still in bed, not due to withdrawals but CFS. I’m hoping to get up some time soon and be a little productive, but I can see sunshine in my day☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

[Daisy]

I got a different brand of B 12 with very little additives and sweetened with Stevia.  I took the full recommended dose and it was not good. It caused a sunburned feeling in my scalp, increase in tinnitus and just plain feeling generally uncomfortable. I held off for a couple of days, a just took 1 drop. That seems to be okay. I know it is important to keep my B 12 levels up, so I will keep experimenting to find out what works for me.

Today started out good, so I decided to go to an aquatic exercise class. I have never done one before, but I managed okay with a few modifications of  a lot of the moves.

When I got out of the pool which was semi warm, I developed a pounding headache in both my temples. On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain was an 8. After sitting down with my head in my hands, I got to the showers and just let the hot water run over my head and shoulders. The headache subsided and also the slight nausea enough that I was able to dry off and get dressed. But I sequestered myself in a bathroom stall to changed my clothes because I had to do it so slowly. By the time I got out of there, I was okay, not great, but okay enough to get home.

 

I do not recall ever being as sensitive as I am now to physical changes. But then again, maybe I was when I was coming off Effexor XL in 2012 and Xanax,  but I pretty much kept to myself and did not join life or do many activities. As far as my family and friends, they did not know what I was going through in 2012-2013. I hid that I was not working. When I tried to go back to work, all hell broke loose, and I decided life was not worth living if I had to live it in the state I was in. Someone was looking out for me because a trusted friend came to my house and found me on the floor. He called 911. He is such a dear person, that he stayed with me in the ER all night on a gurney next to me. They let me go the next day. I had a black eye and scrapes on my face from a  fall I barely remember, so I looked like hell, but I was alive. 

 

I have worked very hard to get where I am today. It is not a perfect life and it is not the same one I had before the failed Effexor XL taper and then the Xanax relapse in 2017 when my Mom passed away. But it is good enough and I keep growing and moving forward.

 

Daisy🌻

[Daisy]

Light sensitive and noise sensitive tonight. The light is worse than the noise. I have sunglasses on over my reading glasses to write this and head phones on with no music to dull the sounds. What a lovely site I must be. Thank goodness I do not live with people. My dog Bailey accepts me no matter what I look like or what state of mind I am in.

Daisy🌻

[Carmie]

3 hours ago, Daisy said:

Light sensitive and noise sensitive tonight. The light is worse than the noise. I have sunglasses on over my reading glasses to write this and head phones on with no music to dull the sounds. What a lovely site I must be. Thank goodness I do not live with people. My dog Bailey accepts me no matter what I look like or what state of mind I am in.

Daisy🌻

 

Hi Daisy, 

 

I’m glad you have a dog that gives you unconditional love. I love animals, we have a cat, but she’s not that affectionate. She hates being picked up and doesn’t like sitting on people’s laps but she’ll tolerate my visitors 😺. We have lots of birds that fly up to our balcony every day, we feed them mince. 

 

Hoping to go to the zoo within a month or so. Looking forward to seeing the meerkats as they didn’t have them last time I was there. Nature and animals just lift my spirits. It’s good to be in nature as much as possible in withdrawals, and watching the antics of animals is entertaining. 

 

Hope your light and noise sensitivity settle a little soon. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

 

[Daisy]

16 hours ago, Carmie said:

I’m glad you have a dog that gives you unconditional love. I love animals, we have a cat, but she’s not that affectionate. She hates being picked up and doesn’t like sitting on people’s laps but she’ll tolerate my visitors 😺. We have lots of birds that fly up to our balcony every day, we feed them mince. 

 

Hoping to go to the zoo within a month or so. Looking forward to seeing the meerkats as they didn’t have them last time I was there. Nature and animals just lift my spirits. It’s good to be in nature as much as possible in withdrawals, and watching the antics of animals is entertaining. 

 

Hope your light and noise sensitivity settle a little soon. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

I am fortunate to have such a great little dog. He is a toy poodle mix and weighs about 12 pounds. His fur is a beautiful silver/gray color. He is 12 years old now, and even though he has some arthritis in his back and hip plus has had surgery for a torn ligament, (ACL), in both of his hind legs, he trots along just fine most days,  He also loves to play with his squeaky toy chicken, often runs around with it like a crazy puppy. When I take him for his walks, he carries a ball in his mouth. I think he considers it his job to do so. 

 

Meerkats are fascinating animal and develop their own communities. Several families often live together. Below is a link on Meerkats by the National Geographic if you are interested .

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/m/meerkat/

 

I find animals uplifting too. I have successfully rehabilitated a baby possum, and just recently a young mouse the cat had scared half to death. Both these animals spent about 2 to 3 days with me, then I was able to let them go into the bushes when they were strong again. It was a great experience.

 

The light sensitivity is gone. I have dealt with it before, and knew what to do this time before it got intolerable. I am still a bit noise sensitive at times today, but it is not too bad. I do not have to wear head phones or ear plugs.

 

I hope you feel well enough to go to the zoo soon and stay in a "window" where there is sunshine and fresh air.

 

Surfing a wave for the surfboard enthusiast is great fun, but a "wave" for us is not.

 

Hugs back to you.

Daisy🌻

[Carmie]

On 6/19/2018 at 10:11 AM, Daisy said:

I am fortunate to have such a great little dog. He is a toy poodle mix and weighs about 12 pounds. His fur is a beautiful silver/gray color. He is 12 years old now, and even though he has some arthritis in his back and hip plus has had surgery for a torn ligament, (ACL), in both of his hind legs, he trots along just fine most days,  He also loves to play with his squeaky toy chicken, often runs around with it like a crazy puppy. When I take him for his walks, he carries a ball in his mouth. I think he considers it his job to do so. 

 

Meerkats are fascinating animal and develop their own communities. Several families often live together. Below is a link on Meerkats by the National Geographic if you are interested .

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/m/meerkat/

 

I find animals uplifting too. I have successfully rehabilitated a baby possum, and just recently a young mouse the cat had scared half to death. Both these animals spent about 2 to 3 days with me, then I was able to let them go into the bushes when they were strong again. It was a great experience.

 

The light sensitivity is gone. I have dealt with it before, and knew what to do this time before it got intolerable. I am still a bit noise sensitive at times today, but it is not too bad. I do not have to wear head phones or ear plugs.

 

I hope you feel well enough to go to the zoo soon and stay in a "window" where there is sunshine and fresh air.

 

Surfing a wave for the surfboard enthusiast is great fun, but a "wave" for us is not.

 

Hugs back to you.

Daisy🌻

 

Hi Daisy, 

 

I’m so glad you have a cute little doggie. That must give you so much contentment watching the little fellow. Great for distraction when withdrawals are bad. Nature and animals really are the best thing. Was outdoors yesterday and saw the cutest little dog,he was really white. 

 

Thanks for the link to the Meerkats, they are cute aren’t they? I haven’t gotten around to the zoo yet as I’ve had a lot of other things on too, but hoping to go this year. 

 

A friend of mine has possums come every day for food. They love their bananas and when they have babies they bring their babies along too. So cute. They come into her bedroom window. 

 

Im glad the light sensitivity is a bit better. If you don’t like wearing sunglasses I wonder if those blue light glasses would help. I’ve got a pair, it actually makes everything a happy light yellow hue. It is quite cheery actually. 

 

Thanks for the hugs💚

 

 

[Daisy]

Well it has not been a few very good days. I have been in the hospital since Thursday 1 am because my head pain turned out to be a small brain bleed in the frontal lobe. I have no long lasting effects from it and I am now home. I still have a one sided headache today and some nausea. I should not be picking up the house, but I could not stand the clutter, so I did a little. No lifting or bending my head down because that increases the pressure in my head and makes it hurt more.

 

I am so glad to be home and be in familiar surroundings, be with my baby dog once again and free from all the stinking monitor wires I was hooked up too. I am not a very good patient. I took out an IV they were not using because it was right in the bend of my arm, took off the monitor wires for awhile and put the machine on standby so it would not beep at me and walked around the room. I also looked out the window to make sure the real world was still out there waiting for me.

🌻

[wantrelief]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this happened to you, Daisy.  I am glad you are ok now.

[Daisy]

I am getting better. I have to have a follow up MRI in about six weeks. It will probably take that long for my body to reabsorb the old blood so they can see if there is some abnormality under it like a tangle of blood vessels that should not be there. I am handling it all well and feel very positive that I will be back to normal soon. I am taking a narcotic for the head pain, but that is temporary. Just plain Tylenol does not help and I am not supposed to take anything that has any blood thinning qualities such as aspirin, Aleve of Advil. I can not take those anyway because they kick up my GERD. 

My poor sister was so worried about me. I would not let her come to the hospital to visit. She has been through so much lately with her husband passing away in April and our Mom passing away in Feb of last year.

 

Thank you for your concern wantrelief and your sweet response.

🌻

[peng]

Best wishes, Daisy.

[Daisy]

2 hours ago, peng said:

Best wishes, Daisy.

Thank you Peng. It has been a rough time and scary. I am trying very hard to keep a positive attitude.

🌻

[Daisy]

I want to believe that if I treat my body well, it will heal quickly.

🌻

[Carmie]

On 6/24/2018 at 9:58 PM, Daisy said:

I want to believe that if I treat my body well, it will heal quickly.

🌻

 

Thats a great attitude Daisy, 

 

We all have to take care of our bodies and not make things worse during withdrawals.

 

Take care💚

[Daisy]

I am not doing so great. I live in fear everyday that I will have another brain bleed. Because it was in the frontal lobe of my brain which has something to do with emotions, I am so irritable and so depressed, I can hardly stand living with myself. I push myself to take a walk outside so I do not get weak. But it is not a pleasant experience. I need an attitude adjustment now and some encouragement to help keep me going.

Daisy

 

[Carmie]

14 hours ago, Daisy said:

I am not doing so great. I live in fear everyday that I will have another brain bleed. Because it was in the frontal lobe of my brain which has something to do with emotions, I am so irritable and so depressed, I can hardly stand living with myself. I push myself to take a walk outside so I do not get weak. But it is not a pleasant experience. I need an attitude adjustment now and some encouragement to help keep me going.

Daisy

 

 

I really am so sorry to hear this Daisy, 

 

Having an illness on top of withdrawals is hard. I have a chronic debilitating illness to. All we can do is take a day at a time and try and find things that we enjoy even if we’re feeling terrible or anhedonic. 

 

I love photograhy so I find that gives me something to do to get outside of my despair, I also love doing other creative things like painting. I’m a major music and nature freak so I go to lots of concerts and try to get out in nature as much as I can. 

 

It doesn’t matter if you don’t find the joy in things at the moment, do them anyway as they are good distractions.

 

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you 💚

 

[Carmie]

Hi Daisy, 

 

Just wondering how you’re doing?💚

[Daisy]

On 7/13/2018 at 1:06 AM, Carmie said:

I really am so sorry to hear this Daisy, 

 

Having an illness on top of withdrawals is hard. I have a chronic debilitating illness to. All we can do is take a day at a time and try and find things that we enjoy even if we’re feeling terrible or anhedonic. 

 

I love photograhy so I find that gives me something to do to get outside of my despair, I also love doing other creative things like painting. I’m a major music and nature freak so I go to lots of concerts and try to get out in nature as much as I can. 

 

It doesn’t matter if you don’t find the joy in things at the moment, do them anyway as they are good distractions.

 

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you 💚

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. Thank you for sharing how you get through life as it is for you right now. You have a lot of courage and strength. Many days I lack the desire to move on with my life and just lay on the couch watching TV. Other days, I find the strength to help myself recover. 

One thing that is hard for me to accept is being on the tread mill of making the rounds to the doctors. But as much as I do not like it, it is necessary right now. With all my heart, I want to believe this is just a small portion of my life and it will just become a memory of a difficult time that has passed.

Daisy

[Daisy]

On 8/9/2018 at 5:25 PM, Carmie said:

Hi Daisy, 

 

Just wondering how you’re doing?💚

It is an okay day. I am up and moving. One small move towards recovery is I am reviewing my e mails today. I have not done that since sometime in July. Another small step is I gave my dog a bath yesterday. I like to think that taking these small steps will give me the courage to take more.

Thank you for reaching out to me.

My best to you. 

Daisy

[Daisy]

Carmie,

Thank you for reaching out to me and offering your support. Having a brain bleed on top of withdrawal from an antidepressant has been really rough.

 

Today I have decided it is time to really start to get over the trauma of my illness. If I have to take baby steps, then that will be the way it has to be. It is better to set oneself up for success. then try too much and leave myself thinking I am a failure and will never recover.

 

Friday I went to the Neurosurgeon. It was all good news. But even so, I shook like a leaf and could not stop. PTSD? I really do not know what caused my physical reaction. But it was what it was and I got through it. Thank the good Lord this was a kind doctor with compassion and insight who did not blink an eye while I shook. He himself had been through a serious illness at one time in his life, so he seemed to know the impact it has both on one both physically and emotionally.

 

I have started physical therapy for my back/buttocks pain. It has not been a cake walk. But one blessing is that my brain bleed is stable to the point where I can take an NSAID. I started with a child's liquid version of Advil and so far my stomach has not complained too much. It has helped the pain a lot!!!!!!

 

I hope you are doing well. 

With love and hugs

Daisy

[Carmie]

4 hours ago, Daisy said:

Carmie,

Thank you for reaching out to me and offering your support. Having a brain bleed on top of withdrawal from an antidepressant has been really rough.

 

Today I have decided it is time to really start to get over the trauma of my illness. If I have to take baby steps, then that will be the way it has to be. It is better to set oneself up for success. then try too much and leave myself thinking I am a failure and will never recover.

 

Friday I went to the Neurosurgeon. It was all good news. But even so, I shook like a leaf and could not stop. PTSD? I really do not know what caused my physical reaction. But it was what it was and I got through it. Thank the good Lord this was a kind doctor with compassion and insight who did not blink an eye while I shook. He himself had been through a serious illness at one time in his life, so he seemed to know the impact it has both on one both physically and emotionally.

 

I have started physical therapy for my back/buttocks pain. It has not been a cake walk. But one blessing is that my brain bleed is stable to the point where I can take an NSAID. I started with a child's liquid version of Advil and so far my stomach has not complained too much. It has helped the pain a lot!!!!!!

 

I hope you are doing well. 

With love and hugs

Daisy

 

Hi Daisy, 

 

What a great attitude, I’m all for baby steps in whatever we do. One of my favourite quotes ever is CONSISTENCY OVER INTENSITY. Small every day things we do all add up to living a life we want. 

 

Im so glad that the doctors results were okay. You can breathe a sigh of relief now, you poor thing. I know all about the treadmill of doctors with different health problems too. You feel like you’ve moved into the hospital n the doctors office. Not fun!!

 

Please let me know how your physical therapy goes. 

 

Take care💚

[Carmie]

Hi daisy, 

 

How are you doing? We haven’t heard from you in a while. Hope you’re doing okay. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Daisy]

Not good. I have been practically bed bound with severe back and buttocks pain. Both my buttocks burn like fire when I sit, my low back and hips hurt when I walk. I can not drive and have to have groceries delivered or wait for someone to shop for me. I either have to stand, or lay on my side, but I am hardly ever comfortable. I hope the doctors figure out how to treat me so I can be self sufficient again. I try to keep my spirits up, but it is hard.

[Carmie]

On 12/30/2018 at 10:21 AM, Daisy said:

Not good. I have been practically bed bound with severe back and buttocks pain. Both my buttocks burn like fire when I sit, my low back and hips hurt when I walk. I can not drive and have to have groceries delivered or wait for someone to shop for me. I either have to stand, or lay on my side, but I am hardly ever comfortable. I hope the doctors figure out how to treat me so I can be self sufficient again. I try to keep my spirits up, but it is hard.

 

Hi Daisy, 

 

I’m so sorry you’re bedbound n struggling with pain. How long have you had the pain now? I can’t concentrate to read over your thread, but you have this pain for quite a while, haven’t you? When did it start? 

 

It’s certainly a hard journey that we are all going through, I wish I could take your pain away. It must be hard not to be able to be comfortable sitting or walking. How do you manage? Do you lie down on your side or your stomach? 

 

Again I’m really sorry, sending you a big hug🤗

 

 

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Daisy, 

 

Just wanted to pop by to let you know I’m thinking of you. I’m so sorry that you’re in so much pain. Have you been able to get out of bed at all?

 

Sending some sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️☀️

[Carmie]

Hi Daisy, 

 

Still thinking about you and wondering how you’ve been doing.💚