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Feeling lonely / loneliness

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ShiningLight

I was drawn to this thread because I am incredibly lonely tonight! Nothing unusual is going on...I just have this deep unsatisfied feeling inside. Feeling lonely and sad.

 

Granted, I am alone! I live alone and no family in the area. Friends have become distant since I've been going through this. Heck they were already distant...I had a loose web of social support anyway due to apathy all these drugged years. My two closest friends live 2 hours away and I only see them a few times a year.

 

A new-ish friend called me tonight and talked incessantly about herself; when I reached out to her a few weeks ago, she was too busy to talk. It made me angry. I give away my listening for free too much.


Now: Gabapentin 31 mg 4x/day =124 mg, 150 mg Zoloft am since 2004, 50 mg Trazodone bedtime.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 mg to 324 mg 🐢🐢

2020, Gabapentin each dose 4x/day: Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg.

2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon

March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Drive 2 hours and go see your friends. 

It will offer a diversion from your suffering. I  actually do that. But I don't mention what I am going through.

I sort of make a schedule and visit each once a month. Not too often so you don't impose. Gives me something to look forward to. 

You might also want to look into garden clubs, bird watching, art lessons, volunteer work. 

If you are having a bad day you can duck out and no one really notices. 

😉

 


This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only. No other medications.

 

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ShiningLight

That's a good idea to do it on schedule, Tweet. I have physical pain that interferes with my driving that far but I will think about it.


Now: Gabapentin 31 mg 4x/day =124 mg, 150 mg Zoloft am since 2004, 50 mg Trazodone bedtime.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 mg to 324 mg 🐢🐢

2020, Gabapentin each dose 4x/day: Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg.

2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon

March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Raindrop

April 29,2019

Tweet, thank you for your message.  It's comforting to hear it. 

 

I agree that there is a "no hold barred fight" for our souls , by the grace of God. 

 

It's been almost 1 month since I reinstated the 5 mg paxil.  

I do not think the paxil is helping to lesson my withdrawal symptoms of severe depression, RLS, irritation, etc.  My reactions are extreme.

From reading some of the other posts, I think I get sugar lows during the night, possibly adding to my depression in the morning. 

 

I like your idea of a schedule and activities.  I do feel better when I get out of the house and walk or whatever.  

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Raindrop

May 8, 2019

 

 I was on Paxil for 30 years!  I started tapering 20 mg Paxil in Oct 2018.  March 19, 2019, I went off Paxil completely.  The withdrawal was SO SEVERE (ideation) I couldn't stand it, so I reinstated at 5 mg Paxil on April 6, 2019.  I've had bad withdrawal symptoms since and I upped the paxil dose to 7.5 mg on  4/29/19.  Yesterday and today I'm doing a little better.   My symptoms: depression, anger, irritability, negativity, some cognitive issues, fog, RLS, neuropathy in legs and fatigue and headache.

 

If I were to reinstate Paxil again, I would NOT start with 5 mg Paxil as it's way to much.  I thought it was a low enough dose, but I was wrong.  My symptoms were severe!  I would start at maybe 2.5 mg. and after 4 days if I was having severe symptoms , I'd cut back the dose even more at that time instead of waiting to see if it helps with the symptoms. 

 

The 7.5 mg doesn't help much, but I think it keeps me off "the edge."  

 

 

 

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Sorry about your struggles lately. 

Sadly, I don't know anything about reinstatement as I have passed the window of opportunity for that. 

I do know that there are alot of people here who have found relief from it.

Just want you to know that I care.❤️

 


This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only. No other medications.

 

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Katy398
On 4/15/2019 at 12:21 PM, Tweet said:

Now it is a grim and scary place and it feels dark and oppressive most of the time. No desire to clean, fix up. Just a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I return to it. Very weird!

Oh my word. This is so true for me too. It didn’t occur to me that it was WD related. I thought it was the numbing effect of ADs subsiding,  leaving a realisation that I am living in a terrible home. I too hate coming home. The challenge of house work,  DIY and lack of motivation is immense. 

What do we do? How do we overcome this?

On 4/15/2019 at 12:43 PM, thecowisback said:

now i'm terrified to tackle anything as i'm convinced the job will go badly wrong.

This is me too

 

On 4/15/2019 at 12:43 PM, thecowisback said:

my family get sick of me moaning about how much i hate this house and nagging them to move.

And this

On 4/21/2019 at 10:32 PM, Tweet said:

I personally can feel intensely lonely even in my husband’s arms

And this

I cannot believe these are WD symptoms I actually feel a sense of relief that this may not be another life challenge I have to endure but it could be WD which means one day it may get better. I am terribly homesick having emigrated from Uk to AU 10 years ago maybe this is WD and not the AD numbness wearing off as I had originally thought. Thank you @Tweet and @thecowisback maybe there is hope for me too. 

Take care everyone neuro loneliness how weird, what else does WD have to throw our way. 

Take care everyone we can get through this. Kx


 

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

 

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thecowisback

let's hope so. i've managed to tackle a couple of the tiniest jobs but my bedroom is a wreck and i still don't have the motivation to tackle it. the diy list is still huge.


Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg

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Hi. Want you to know that it will pass. I have always been a person who loves my time alone so it was really very unlike myself to be so lonely all the time. I still have twinges from time to time but have learned some coping skills and most of all how to control my thoughts so that I don’t hit that downward spiral. Overall I would say the neuro Loneliness is a thing of the past. You will get there too, just hang in there!


This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only. No other medications.

 

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bottlehalffull

I guess I'm not the only one that goes from room to room trying to find something to do that's not overwhelming and just looking in the room and going f***************** and losing all motivation to do anything...........

 

I'm so lonely but sometimes even the idea of logging into my email account is draining.


2018/7 Started on lamotrigine (12.5 mg) and escitalopram (2.5 mg). Tapered up over the course of a month to 50 mg LTG, 10 mg escit. Kept tapering LTG up to 75 mg by 2018/10. 2018/11 Crosstapered from escitalopram to sertraline. 2018/12 Was still taking both SSRIs (escit. 5 mg, sert. 25 mg) when sert. was discontinued to trial quetiapine. Quet. tapered up to 25 mg, but tapered back down after 3 days on the full dose because side effects. Total time on quetiapine 10 days. Switched back to cross tapering esit. and sert., started tapering LTG up to 100 mg.
 
2019/1 Lamotrigine 100 mg, sertraline 12.5 mg, escitalopram 5 mg. Finally discontinued escit. and on full dosage of sertraline (25 mg) 2019/04.
 
2019/11 About two weeks of sertraline 12.5 mg, but went back up to 25 mg.
2019/12/4 Lamotrigine taper: too fast, down to 25 mg over the course of about 10 days. Also started increase sertraline 37.5 mg during luteal phase of menstrual cycle for PMDD.
 
2020/(early) on 22 mg lamotrigine for a while, maybe a month and a half, maybe longer, then 2020/03 Institutionalized for self harm. I think I was trying to taper the sertraline at the time, don't remember the details. Doses increased: Sertraline 50 mg/lamotrigine 25 mg (current regimen). Supposed to be taking seroquel and abilify (TWO antipsychotics?!) but didn't take any once I was discharged from the institution. (Was on them a few days.)
________________________________________________________
2001(?) Citalopram, don't remember dosage, cold turkey after a couple months and had terrible withdrawals, including what in retrospect was probably PAWS for the next five or so years. (agoraphobia, crippling social anxiety, anhedonia, dp/dr).

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Spenitate

I want to start by saying I’m not angling for sympathy in this post!! There are a lot of posts here about the impact of what we’re all going through on relationships, so I wanted to find out if anyone else is struggling with the impact of loneliness on their withdrawal? I know it is possible to be lonely in a relationship, but I do feel that isolation has contributed to my struggles, or at least not made them easier!

 

I’ve been single for many years and when I was healthy I was largely comfortable with it. I won’t say I was never lonely but I have some lovely family and friends and mostly I felt okay with not being in a relationship. However, a combination of the pandemic lockdown and my withdrawal had made me feel profoundly isolated at times. I’ve been lucky enough to get to spend some time with family but I’ve also had to spend protracted periods alone, and I absolutely think that the lack of human interaction has made the past few months much harder. I’ve pushed myself to go out and try new things and meet people even on days when frankly I’ve wanted to curl up in a ball and die, and often I have noticed a positive impact from the stimulation (not always, and sometimes it’s only temporary).

 

I’m posting this to find out if anyone else is coping alone, and how you cope with doing this alone? I know some people are suffering symptoms which mean they can’t just go out and meet new people which I imagine must be very hard. 
 

To be clear, I believe it’s possible to be in a committed loving relationship and still be suffering horribly. But I’m interested in the perspectives of any other single/isolated people out there. And also if anyone has any tips on managing isolation in withdrawal that would be great! 


2010-2020 40mg paroxetine.

Stopped in two weeks leading to severe withdrawal.
May 2020: Went back on 10mg - tapering to nothing over 2-3 months. Sever symptoms again after dropping from 5mg to nothing.
June 2020: Started on 50mg sertraline to manage paroxetine withdrawal. New severe symptoms, some gradual improvement since.
Desperate to taper off (properly) but need some recovery time.

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