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JackieDecides

JackieDecides: off Lexapro / escitalopram, tapering omeprazole

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JackieDecides
On 9/11/2019 at 4:53 AM, Happy2Heal said:

my feeling is that sometimes "depression" is our body telling us we need to rest, and it's a good idea, IMHO to listen to our bodies

 

unless our body says eat an entire chocolate cake, then maybe we might want to argue with it about that

 

don't know how I missed this post!  yes, I have trouble trusting my body since eating cake and then more cake and then more cake is one of the things it sometimes thinks we should do. 🤨

 

5 hours ago, xyz said:

Try to set a healthy daily routine and stick to it no matter how you feel.

 

 

yes, this is key - don't let bad feelings lead to bad choices. 

thank you for your support!! 

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Happy2Heal
5 minutes ago, JackieDecides said:

don't know how I missed this post!  yes, I have trouble trusting my body since eating cake and then more cake and then more cake is one of the things it sometimes thinks we should do. 🤨

your body told you to eat cake and more cake...? 😂

 

ok I take it back, don't always listen to your body, it's misleading you lol

 

but  hey, once in a while a bit of a treat is a good thing. ;)

 

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JackieDecides

I have been too busy to even feel grateful let alone post a list lately. that's good, actually, since I am earning more money. I am grateful to earn more money! 

 

a healthy eating guru I got to hear speak in person and really like is Doctor Ann. She always has science to back up what she preaches and here she is talking about food and mood.  

 

the short version?  you know, if you don't have 4 minutes to listen?  eat more fruits and vegetables to feel better! 

 

 

 

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Longestroadhome

I agree that more fruits and veg is an important part of taking care of our body. I’ll have to watch this lady, it sounds interesting. I’m listening to a lot by Valter Longo right now, he is a longevity expert and encourages fasting.
 

. You have been off lexapro slightly longer than me. It’s a long journey isn’t it!

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JackieDecides

yes, it really is.

 

I think I haven't yet made it back to "healthy" more because of the decades of not taking care of life because of not caring (bcause of the AD) than because of the physical damage to my brain from the AD, but it's hard to know for sure.

 

but all those years I didn't care that I wasn't making a family, a social network, wasn't saving for retirement or otherwise planning ahead, THAT'S what I'm bogged down by now. otherwise, I'd have posted my "success" thread already!

 

whatever the reason, it is a long road. 

 

 

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Carmie

How are you doing Jackie?🧡

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JackieDecides

Hi, Carmie

 

I am getting along - about the same, I think, still have a moderate amount of anxiety (about work) - which is better than the extreme anxiety I had all summer! and I have a moderate amount of depression, which I think is from the climate. 

 

but I am settling in and believe that the worst is over and I am getting past all the changes that I've had. I feel like we turn a corner after the solstice and by Spring I think I will be much better. 

 

so, still challenged but hopeful, thank you for asking! ❤️

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FarmGirlWorks

@JackieDecides: you seem to know exactly what is probably effecting the anxiety/depression. Glad to see you're improving. That is hopeful!

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Rhiannon

Hi Jackie! 

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JackieDecides
18 minutes ago, Rhiannon said:

Hi Jackie! 

 

Hi Rhi! 

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Carmie

Hi Jackie, 

 

Thinking of you and hope you’re coping okay today🧡

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JackieDecides

Hi Carmie! thank you for thinking of me, I am mostly doing OK.

 

I still struggle but am very relieved the days are now getting longer and I find that helps. This winter the worst thing is a gained about 14 pounds and that doesn't feel good. (hint: it's not muscle!) 

 

I try to keep remembering how bad it was last summer since now it isn't nearly as bad but I think I am having significant anxiety or depression maybe (very rough guess) 50 - 70% of the time as opposed to 90 - 100%. but it's hard to keep perspective! 

 

I am trying (not always successfully) to be more social in real life and to be online less, so I don't come here regularly anymore.

 

but I hope to some day feel ready to post a thread about my success! just not there yet. 

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Carmie

Great to hear you’ve had some improvements Jackie, 

 

Sorry about your weight gain. Yes, winter and comfort eating tend to go hand in hand sometimes, don’t they? At one stage I put on a lot of weight with the Seroquel, but I lost it after eating extremely healthy. I love healthy food, but sometimes when under stress we can go for that comfort eating.😁
 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

 

 

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JackieDecides

I have been having insomnia for almost two weeks now. That is all. 😔

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Happy2Heal

aww so sorry to hear it Jackie

 

anything going on in your life that could account for this, or do you think it's a wave?

 

hope it passes quickly if it's a wave

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JackieDecides

thanks, H2H, I appreciate the good wishes. 

 

I really don't think of myself as having waves, not for a long time. things get worse or better but, not sure why, doesn't seem like windows and waves. 

 

my job got more stressful last week and the week before I knew it was going to so that's the reason. but I'm guessing! sometimes things get worse randomly, I think. and in general I am doing so much more so life gets harder. I have to be a grown up now and I didn't learn those skills when I was younger! 

 

I am trying to keep in mind that I can choose to do better self-care no matter how I feel but doesn't always work. this morning, for example, I just had caffeine even though I'm going to a Meditation group in an hour.  well, all we can do is keep on keeping on. oh, and Carmie is a good reminder to write down what we are grateful for.

 

I am grateful for all the wonderful people I've met in my new town/area.

I am grateful for the longer days, oh BOY am I grateful.

I haven't seen ants in my kitchen for a few days! I'm sure they aren't ever going to be gone forever but I'm glad to see less of them.

 

I'm grateful for the internet. 

 

 

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JackieDecides

@Leo1983   I had just been saying in Happy2Heal's thread that I am currently stressed out by the pandemic because I can't go socialize with people the way I have been, just when it was getting more pleasant. 

 

  I moved where I now live just last year and so don't have any friends or family in this town and was starting over. I began trying to socialize by joining groups and going to events and so forth and I would do this even when it increased my anxiety to the point that it was no "fun" at all.  so it felt like a chore I had to make myself do: go meet up with strangers and pretend to be normal. 

 

I had just gotten to the point where, at least some times, it actually was fun. or much less uncomfortable, at least. and now I am stuck at home alone again! 

 

not sure what else you want to know. 

 

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JackieDecides

this is about how everyone is feeling about the pandemic and it's not fear (although we have that, too)

 

that uncomfortable feeling is grief

 

 

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FarmGirlWorks

OMG: I *just* sent that link in my post in response to you!!!

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Leo1983

Hi.

 

I guess i wanted to know if you were sociable before meds without any issues/anxiety?

 

Was it a process to socialise again, how long did it take. 

 

I used to love visiting family, going out with friends, having friends over to the house. However since my CT i have changed alot and struggle when im around people, the anxiety and the dopey brain make me less confident. 

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JackieDecides
8 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

OMG: I *just* sent that link in my post in response to you!!!

OMG! 😀   I love it!

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Happy2Heal
13 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

I had just gotten to the point where, at least some times, it actually was fun. or much less uncomfortable, at least. and now I am stuck at home alone again! 

 I can so relate  to this!
I was just getting to the point where I felt I had the confidence to find a new volunteer position and then this stupid virus comes along

 

grrrrr

I understand the frustration!!

 

 

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JackieDecides
7 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

Hi.

 

I guess i wanted to know if you were sociable before meds without any issues/anxiety?

 

Was it a process to socialise again, how long did it take. 

 

I used to love visiting family, going out with friends, having friends over to the house. However since my CT i have changed alot and struggle when im around people, the anxiety and the dopey brain make me less confident. 

 

Leo, I don't know how helpful my life can be since we are so different. but just looking at your signature can see you have all horrific WD and that's going to influence everything, including how you feel/act/are around people. 

 

yes, it's a process and it will take as long as it takes. the same as other symptoms of WD you have. 

 

the good news is: you have family and friends!  some day your struggles will be less and you will continue to  have family and friends! 

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JackieDecides

here is my update. I was waiting til my head was clear to write it, but that might not happen.

 

the last few days I've had a headache which is probably from allergies (feels like a sinus headache about 80% of the time) but which I, in my anxiety, keep thinking is the start of getting Covid19.

 

I work doing therapy in nursing homes so there is no way to work from home. my biggest fear is I might have spread the virus from one facility to the other, even though I took all the precautions I was told to. but what I was told would change literally every day! hard to have confidence in the system when everyone is just winging it like this. and to be given a paper "disposable" mask in a plastic baggie, and told I need to disinfect it after using, let it dry (when is there time for that?) and then put it back in it's baggie to use again tomorrow is unbelievable. it's really what you would do in a third world country. 

 

and I'm getting 2 to 4 hours of work at most, so I have all the worry (and I am so tired every day) but not making much money. 

 

and I have more free time but don't know where it goes. I am having trouble just keeping up with people by text, email, PMs, posting on forums so I guess I must be on the computer a lot more but not keeping up, either. 

 

well, anxiety. it makes me much more scattered and less productive. I wish I knew what was coming next, but nobody really does. 

 

😞

 

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Leo1983

Ok.

 

Thanks for that. I just want the mental stuff to go so i can move forward. I feel like my brains in prison and im waiting to show people it wasnt really my mental health it was this withdrawal all along. 

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Leo1983

I hope you keep positive as possible in relation to Covid-19. 

 

Im sure your guna be just fine! 

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