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JackieDecides

JackieDecides: off Lexapro / escitalopram, tapering omeprazole

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JackieDecides

I now live in Colorado and a lot of things that were very stressful are now behind me: the moving sale, getting out of the house, the drive here.  the last couple hours of the drive were SO tense, first the serious mountain driving (not too bad) and then the traffic in Denver (horrible) and I'm afraid the afternoon I got here my first move was to go buy a bottle of wine. That was Saturday and then yesterday I did better, got to work and started to do my back exercises again.

 

Now to unpack, adjust to my new roommate, do all the odds & ends of moving like get register my car here and, the biggest one, find a job. and a doctor. and a dentist. 🤔

 

I am feeling the altitude change, I figure I went up 1400 or more feet and I really tire out fast. also jumped ahead an hour so it's like having to go on Daylight Savings Time all over again.  I slept last night but had to get up for the bathroom five times I think. ☹️ I am kind of exhausted this morning.

 

but Neroli reminds me to be grateful for the good things and she is right. 

 

I am SO glad for my new roommate - she is a wonderful person and also inspiring in many ways. I am so lucky she is willing to share her home with me.

I am back in a big city and it's been a long time. lots more opportunities and options and choices. I need to get a map, though, using my phone only doesn't cut it.

I love this climate - it's about the same as where I lived before (on the Sunny Side of a big mountain range) and that's good.. 

I have a much better grasp of priorities than I used to, I think. I do find myself getting anxious (sigh) and worrying and having catastrophic thinking (this will NEVER work) but at least I am learning coping skills. I feel like I never used to have any! 

 

the mountains and the sky and the neighborhood here are all beautiful. and it's SPRING! 😍

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JackieDecides

one big problem I have is I don't want to dump on my new roommate and it's hard not to. we are old friends getting re-acquainted and she has health problems, maybe worse than mine it's hard to compare. but she has a lot of challenges and was kind enough to let me move in with her.

 

I have to try very hard not to talk about myself and my problems and my moods constantly - it's a real struggle. 

 

this morning I feel overwhelmed with everything and I can't believe how hard everything is to understand. like, I have to re-title my car before I can register it and there are so many steps and I can't believe how hard it all is.

 

my roommate works at home, too, so I can do what I am used to when frustrated which is pace around and talk loudly to myself and wave my arms!

 

I am so anxious!! 

 

 

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Altostrata

One step at a time, Jackie, don't forget the deep breathing.

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neroli

Hello JD

 

You've got through so much I the past month or two - I cannot imagine having the energy or emotional strength to do what you have done.  Well done on many fronts - you have moved a mountain!

 

It's good that you feel you are in the right place for you now - in time, you will develop an understanding relationship with your roommate , you never know she may want to talk about her problems to you and you can have a mutual support thing.  

 

I'm just so in awe of what you have achieved.

 

Best of the best for getting settled and then making moves to find work.

 

xxx Neroli 💜

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Happy2Heal

wow Jackie, you did it!! what a huge and exhausting and scary thing to do, to pack up and move so far away, not being sure what awaits you on the other end.

 

I am sure it feels overwhelming, but just take one day at a time... prioritize what needs to be done first, time constrained things like the stuff with your car and whatnot, and let everything else go.

I know how hard that is, but it helps. Just remind yourself of how strong and capable you are (and you most definitely ARE!) 

let the negative thoughts slide away like they're on teflon, and let any good thoughts stick like velcro in your mind.

 

you're doing amazing!  

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JackieDecides

thank you all for the kind words, I know things could be a lot worse and that they are going to get better. and, after all when things get hard "I can do hard things". 😍

 

I had nightmares last night (but at least I slept!) and woke up to 2 inches of snow and it's still coming down heavily (!!) but I don't have to go anywhere and I made hot herbal tea and I just need to bring my snow boots in from the garage to warm up and I can take a walk. 

 

again, thank you. 

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Gracee

You made a huge change.   Remember Self-care, Jackie.    You may experience a little crash, now that the worst of the move is over.  Take time each day to rest and be good to yourself.   

Hugs,

G.

 

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JackieDecides
1 hour ago, Gracee said:

You may experience a little crash, now that the worst of the move is over

 

thanks, Gracee, I do feel I am extra...fragile.  I'm going to assume that is temporary! 🙂

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JackieDecides

now the biggest problem to face is to find a job. every step, even just thinking about updating my resume (I worked on it last week and need to do more) is making me anxious. 

 

😐

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Happy2Heal

you'll be fine. you're a strong, confident, caring, and talented woman! you've got a lot to offer, anyone would be glad to have you working for them.

 

if it feels a bit overwhelming at times, just remind yourself of all the other challenges you've faced and met and gotten thru and done just fine....

You Got This!!! 

 

 

how do you like your new living arrangements?

 

don't forget to take time to focus on the good things that are happening, it really helps in several ways: it makes you feel better overall, and you'll find yourself noticing more and more good things.

This helps give you strength to face the tough stuff and reminds you that overall, life is generally more good stuff than bad ;)

 

that's my pep talk for today! now to get dinner made :D

 

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JackieDecides
3 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

don't forget to take time to focus on the good things that are happening

 

oh, all the time and every day; it's one of those things I have (if only through desperation) made into a habit. 

 

there are a few bumps in the living arrangements but most of them are due to me used to having both a LOT more room and me getting away with being very disorganized, so it's no doubt a change for the better. 

 

thank you for your kind words! 🤗

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DMV64

Hi popping in...wondering about your omeprazole taper. I would like to do this (on it for years) although I am not sure what the ill effects of this drug are. Can you tell me a bit about it?

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JackieDecides

oh, dear, I need to update my signature and I wonder if I can change the name of my thread. 

 

@DMV64 (do you work for the DMV? I just got my Colorado plates and DL) I have made zero progress since I joined this forum. My situation is odd in that I have had weight loss surgery (vertical sleeve gastrectomy) and that can made acid reflux much worse. So for 10 years I was on a double dose of omeprozole and so far I went down to 1/2 a pill AM and still a whole pill PM and am also taking another OTC pill, too. so zero progress. 🙄

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JackieDecides

I think I am sleeping more but also having nightmares and having much more trouble getting going in the morning. Overall I'm hoping it's good but it's so inconvenient. 

 

This move was such a huge change. No job, most of my "stuff" is gone, living with someone in her house adjusting to her routines. She works at home so I am pretty much never alone here.

 

I guess given all that I am doing pretty well?

I keep thinking if I just get a job I will feel so much better but the whole time I keep thinking the next step is the charm. "if I just..." get the moving sale over with, get out of the house, get to Colorado...the fact is, there isn't a real "ending" in this change. I just have to accept where I am, right now.  ACCEPTANCE is hard! 

 

I started seeing a new concierge doctor yesterday and he suggested me taking Deplin so I am reading up about that and - oh, good - SA has a thread about it. 😊

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JackieDecides

oh, hell, the thread about Deplin is making me anxious. or the fact that it is snowing and I promised to drive somebody somewhere and the traffic here scares me. I hate to back out but am thinking she should just take a taxi, it's not like she can't afford it. I wish I had told her yesterday.  but the Deplin thread, too, because I have anxiety about many of the issues mentioned like cardiac and taking PPIs and I forget what-all. 😟

 

RANT:  how am I supposed to get a job when I can't think?? it's been a week and a half and I made one new resume and applied for two jobs with it plus Cosco, which doesn't take a resume. Now I need to make/ finish two more resumes for 2 different kinds of jobs I will be applying for. it takes me FOREVER to write/rewrite them. 

 

I started fish oil yesterday so I guess I had better not start B12 again as well...my new doctor sent me home with a sample of Deplin which I think I won't take for now. I see him again in 3 weeks. I didn't understand why he wanted me to take it when the sample was small enough he said it wouldn't be enough to tell if it helped - but I think he said he was going to give me more information about it and couldn't find it, but he found a sample and that at least we could find out if it made my stomach hurt. I'm a bit unclear about this. but I think maybe I should have the test first? I wonder what the cash price is for the test. 

 

ETA:  I JUST realized why I have been putting off updating my signature here: it's just the same as working on my resumes: all the dates and the thinking! 😋

 

I'm going to do it RIGHT NOW! 

 

 

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JackieDecides
Posted (edited)

OK, my signature is updated if not necessarily any more clear. I can't tell.

 

@Altostrata  I am feeling more than a little needy this morning.  since I just started on fish oil yesterday,  should I not also take more D3? I had been taking 2000 IU but bumped it up to 5000 yesterday after seeing my new doctor and just realized maybe I shouldn't make two changes at once. 

 

I really don't want to drive this morning in the snow and the traffic. :blink:

 

 

why do the boldings/italics I put in my signature not show up?

Edited by JackieDecides
ask question about signature

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Gridley
4 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

I shouldn't make two changes at once. 

It's best to make only one change at a time so you can gauge the effects.  You might want to back down on the D to your previous 2000 while you settle in with the omega.

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JackieDecides

thank you, Gridley. 

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Happy2Heal

how are you doing today Jackie?

 

you've got a lot of changes in your life and a lot to process, while still recovering...

you are really doing great.

it's ONLY been a week and a half and look at all you've done. it's such a big change, give yourself time to settle in and adjust. 

I know it doesn't feel that way or seem that way but for all that you've got going on, you're handling it so well.

 

 

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JackieDecides

thank you, Happy2Heal, I do forget it will only be 2 weeks tomorrow since I've been here so the fact that I'm not used to the traffic or unpacked/organized isn't so surprising.

 

my biggest accomplishment is I made 2 new resumes (for two types of jobs, neither of which I even know if I could handle for sure right now) and I want to do one more before today is over that will be for "non-skilled" jobs. I need to be working soon as much for the routine and getting out of the house as for money! 

 

things WILL get better because of course they will.

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Altostrata

Hi, Jackie.

 

Don't worry about MTHFR and folate, eat fresh vegetables.

 

It's best to take some vitamin E with fish oil, it keeps the omega-3s circulating. 400IU vitamin E per day is sufficient.

 

If the weather is bad, you might want to supplement a bit of vitamin D3 because you're not getting sun. Vit D3 is a daytime vitamin, take it early in the day. You might find it stimulating. As Gridley reminded, see how you do with the increased omega-3s before you add in D3.

 

Omega-3s are best taken in divided doses throughout the day.

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JackieDecides
On 5/10/2019 at 12:32 PM, Altostrata said:

eat fresh vegetables.

 

I will try.

 

On 5/10/2019 at 12:32 PM, Altostrata said:

It's best to take some vitamin E with fish oil

 

good info, thank you

 

On 5/10/2019 at 12:32 PM, Altostrata said:

Omega-3s are best taken in divided doses throughout the day.

 

again, good info, I asked my doctor if I should take it at a certain time or with food and he said it didn't matter.  doesn't mean he is right.

 

On 5/10/2019 at 12:32 PM, Altostrata said:

Don't worry about MTHFR

 

 

 @Altostrata     you don't think it's worth taking the test?  

 

 

Not that I am going to have health insurance any time soon, it looks like.  Even though I have only been job hunting for the two weeks I've been here I was very sad this morning to get an email telling me one company that had liked my resume enough to send me an "online assessment" had scored it and decided there was no reason to go forward with an interview.

 

It's one of those companies that is always hiring and after taking the assessment I failed I had felt really good about it. so I was "counting my chickens" and am very disappointed. ☹️

 

I got out for some sun and exercise in Garden of the Gods this weekend and should feel great about it but...I really don't.  So, back to job hunting while not feeling great. 

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DMV64
On 5/7/2019 at 9:34 AM, JackieDecides said:

so zero progress

Oh how frustrating! I have many drugs to come off of so I am trying to just take it a day at atime.

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Altostrata
2 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

     you don't think it's worth taking the test?  

 

Unless you have serious heart problems or in a high-risk pregnancy with certain symptoms, it's not worth taking an MTHFR test. Eat fresh leafy greens.

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neroli

Hello Jackie

 

Hope you're getting more settled in your new home and in the new surroundings.  I think it's amazing that you were able to do your resumes - even in the best of health I find them very challenging and frustrating - great achievement.

 

Take time to let yourself settle, it's a big move you made (another amazing accomplishment).

 

Wishing you all the best

 

Neroli 💜

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JackieDecides
5 hours ago, neroli said:

I think it's amazing that you were able to do your resumes - even in the best of health I find them very challenging and frustrating - great achievement.

 

thank you. the thing is they aren't very good and I need to do better. 

I do have one job interview today (on the phone) and after that I need to really get busy. Everything is so much harder than I expected it would be and I don't think that is going to go away even after I get a job. 

 

real life with feelings: it's hard. 

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RichT
4 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

 

thank you. the thing is they aren't very good and I need to do better. 

I do have one job interview today (on the phone) and after that I need to really get busy. Everything is so much harder than I expected it would be and I don't think that is going to go away even after I get a job. 

 

real life with feelings: it's hard. 

 

It certainly is hard! Good luck with the interview

 

R

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JackieDecides

I hesitate to post this but I did get offered the job. Everyone around me congratulates me and so forth but it is a job I really don't want. it is low pay, second shift (that will mess with my sleep, which has been going so much better), and stressful

 

however! I think I can do it anyway and hopefully it won't be for long. it's even possible I could get another job before it starts, which is not until June 10th. (they have such high turnover they have a training class every month and just started one)

 

things I am grateful for this morning:

 

I live in a beautiful state and this week I was able to walk 4 miles. I got tired, but I could do it.

I have enough money to get by, a place to live, enough food, and a car that is paid off.

I have a chance to re-organize my entire life with more order and simplicity. I'm struggling with it but I can do it. 

there are lots of jobs out there and I can get anther, better one, at some point. maybe even soon. 

I had insomnia last night BUT it's been a lot better generally and I did get in a good 4.5 hours. that's so much better than nothing! 

 

there is a job on the federal website (usajobs.gov) that I am qualified except it's not open to the public. a woman who knows about all things military (even though she is a civilian she has worked for them a lot over the years) says I can apply as a disabled person. I am very stressed about trying it but am going to anyway. I have been disabled, it's true, although I hope it is temporary. but it's a scary layer on top of not knowing how the job would be anyway - working for the army would be so different from anything I've done before! I know this is why I had trouble sleeping last night, just thinking not even about the job but the application process. I'm all 😮 about every part of it , but I have to try. 

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neroli
On 5/19/2019 at 12:10 AM, JackieDecides said:

I did get offered the job. Everyone around me congratulates me and so forth but it is a job I really don't want. it is low pay, second shift (that will mess with my sleep, which has been going so much better), and stressful

 

This is so encouraging, JackieDecides, you are able to get work.

On 5/19/2019 at 12:10 AM, JackieDecides said:

there are lots of jobs out there and I can get anther, better one, at some point. maybe even soon.

 

and you can see possibilities for other, perhaps more suitable work.  Great news.

 

I admire you for getting yourself out there so soon after your move and in spite of the drug damage effects.

 

Best wishes to you

 

Neroli 💜

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JackieDecides

thank you, Neroli, I appreciate your supportive words.

 

I got my shift changed to days which means my two days off won't be in a row (Wednesdays and Sundays off) but I think that's better than working evenings just when sleep has been going so well for me. it's 75 cents less an hour but that's not as important as sleep, right? 

 

I found a job to apply for with the army (!) but it is not open to the public. it is, however, open to people with disabilities and while I would not have thought of this by myself an internet friend with experience working as a civilian for the military tells me I can "self identify" as such due to my anxiety. 

 

so I am going to try this but it's kind of strange and worrisome (like everything is, of course :huh:) and if anyone has any advice about this I'd appreciate it.  If you don't know about this, can you think of anyone who does? my plan is just not to lie about anything so what could go wrong?  @Altostrata

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Altostrata

I think it's a good idea to nurture your sleep, Jackie. As for the job with the Army, all you can do is try and see what happens.

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JackieDecides

I have found since moving out of state I am sleeping MORE (that has to be good, right?) but I wake up more often and I have very vivid dreams. don't know what that's about but I think, overall, it's a good thing. 

 

I have a hypnosis CD I frequently listen to when I go to sleep and one of the things she says on it is that my subconscious is listening no matter if I pay attention or not or if I fall asleep.

 

I don't think this is true. It feels like hypnosis only helps if I am awake and paying attention to it.  

 

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Happy2Heal
On 5/20/2019 at 12:23 PM, JackieDecides said:

I got my shift changed to days which means my two days off won't be in a row (Wednesdays and Sundays off) but I think that's better than working evenings just when sleep has been going so well for me. it's 75 cents less an hour but that's not as important as sleep, right? 

oh I'm glad you were able to get the shift changed, I think sleep is very important for recovery.

 

I have a friend who was raised in the military, all army, I believe, I will ask her if she knows anything about that sort of position you mentioned. she may know something about it. 

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ChessieCat
On 11/15/2018 at 12:29 AM, JackieDecides said:

 

thank you for posting this as I have many, many supplements and Ashwaganda is one of them. I have the True Veda brand but don't find anything when I search on it at consumer labs...? 

 

I know I need to stop taking new and more pills and just cut back to a couple and only add stuff one at a time as the good people here suggest. but I can't help feeling "I paid for this, it's a waste not to take it" 🙄

 

Just want to make sure that you see this post:

 

4 minutes ago, JanCarol said:

@JackieDecides  If you can't find your brand on Consumer Labs, and you are concerned about potency, then choose one of the brands which are on the list.

 

Consumer Labs has revised their Ashwaganda report.  They said that 3 cases in Iceland with NOW brand Ashwaganda (the one I use) have resulted in liver injury and elevated enzymes.  2 cases in the USA, one with NOW, one with Nature's Plus.

It is now not recommended for people with liver disease.  I'll be tapering off it, not because I have liver disease specifically, but that I have fatty liver, and was on enough drugs that my liver is probably not happy with me.  Many of us are probably in this boat, as a lot of the drugs are metabolised in the liver.

It is also not recommended for people with kidney disease, so I'm definitely coming off it, since my kidneys have not been the same since lithium.

Consumer Labs emphasises that these cases are rare, but they err on the side of caution.

In general, the fewer supplements you can take, the better.
 

 

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JackieDecides

thank you, @ChessieCat I had not seen your post.

 

when I moved to Colorado I left behind 90% of the supplements I had bought including Ashwaganda, so that was probably good. 

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PatriciaVP

Hi Jackie,

 Thanks for stopping by my thread. I know that the brain fog and cognitive issues can be one of the most frustrating aspects of withdrawal, but you seem to be dealing with it amazingly well. 

 

Good job with the move! I read somewhere that moves can be just as traumatic as the loss of a loved one so go easy on yourself. 

 

Peace, love and healing. 

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