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☼ JackieDecides: off Lexapro / escitalopram, tapering omeprazole

JackieDecides

By JackieDecides
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JackieDecides

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I don't think I've ever been called grrrl before  - I feel more than a little smug. 😉

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Carmie
Carmie

Yay! You got a cheery “here comes the sun symbol.” ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🎉🎉🎉   Hope you’re coping okay with your jobs, sending hugs🤗

JackieDecides
JackieDecides

Hi Ariel, thank you for your post - I appreciate the kind words.    someone just sent me a PM asking how I'm doing and so I think I will also post my answer to them.   I have never

Ariel
Ariel

Hi @JackieDecides  Thanks so much for coming back to post an update! It's really good to hear from you.      Congratulations! Hats off to you for sticking with it and making it t

JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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yesterday I felt wonderful, today I feel ...not nearly as good. I feel OK, I guess.

 

today I am grateful for

 

reconnecting with old friends even if only on the phone

 

it's only going to be in the 80s today, not the 90s like wed - fri last week

 

I don't have to go back to that cleaning job that was giving me more pain every week I was there

 

I know some good back stretches I learned from Miranda Esmonde-White and doing them makes me feel better (need to do them MORE)

 

I am stronger than I was 6 months ago, I am SURE of this. I am even stronger than I was 1 year ago. this is lucky because I am going to need to be! 

 

I am not alone, even though all my support is long distance. at least I have support. I am grateful for this every day. 

 

❤️ to all

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to JackieDecides: off Lexapro / escitalopram, tapering omeprazole
JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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I woke up OK at 5:30 but then in a few minutes I got a big wave of anxiety and it's still with me. I don't know if it's random or because of something specific. don't you always ask yourself WHY it's happening, I suppose so you can know how to control it better in the future?

 

I have two things to do today, not really enough to fill the day, this morning I am meeting a friend I haven't seen for years. we will have breakfast as she is driving through, on her way home from Denver. I look forward to seeing her.

 

this afternoon I have to get my fingerprints taken as part of the process to get a license to do my new job in Oregon.  

 

both those things might be making me anxious, I really don't know. might just be life, and knowing I have a ton to do to get ready for my new job and for relocating out of state again. finding a place to live will be really hard because I am in such a hole financially.  the new job is not in a super expensive place (like Portland) but it's still a higher cost of housing than I hoped for, especially for a not-very-big town. lots to worry about, I guess, or rather lots of variables/changes/challenges that I now get to practice facing without freaking out or something. 🤨

 

this morning I am grateful I am about to meet up with an old friend. she is on a road trip back to where she lives in AZ and will be rushed and short on sleep, I expect, but I still look forward to seeing her.

 

I am grateful for a good night's sleep. probably got 7.5 hours so good for me.

 

I am grateful the temps cooled off. 

 

 

 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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Yesterday was a bad day. Today is much better. I am at the park, in the shade, being grateful. U am grateful for

 

The trees

The sun

The wind

The mountains (lookit Pikes Peak)

The clouds

 

The way the air feels

The sound the wind makes in the leaves

 

But the grass is too big perfect, I'd rather see weeds and know they didn't spray the heck out of the lawn

 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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yesterday's posting was from my phone, so typos. :blink:

 

this morning back on my chromebook and I am grateful for:

 

weather forecast has only highs in the 80s coming up, no 90s thank goodness

the stress of hiding the fact that I need to move out from my roommate is gone

someone in Oregon (where I am moving) has offered to help by looking at rentals for me

I don't feel bad at all this morning: slight anxiety but not nearly like yesterday or the day before

I get to DECIDE - whatever happens, I'm making the decisions. this isn't always easy, but it beats the alternative. 

Charlie Brown's posts made me happy:  it takes YEARS to recover so I'm still going to get better than this. stronger! I look forward to it. 

 

love and hugs to all! 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Happy2Heal Contributor

Happy2Heal

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so many good things to be grateful for

:)

 

 

you have such a great attitude!

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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you have such a great attitude!

 

 

not today, and not this week so far...or over the weekend, I guess.

 

looking for a place to live in Oregon has been not just as bad as job hunting but worse, I think. I was about in tears this morning filling out an application.

 

online friends have made suggestions that don't seem to help, when I told them that I can't give my landlord in NV as a reference because we left on bad terms. the fact that I never missed a rent payment means nothing, she is a binge drinker and believes she is 100% in the right and I can't talk to her or give her name/number on rental applications. I swear renting used to be easier than this, can't remember so much damn paperwork. 😟

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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things have been going badly and I notice I haven't been posting what I'm grateful for, just trying to get through the days.

 

I have SO not been accepting of anything: my mood, for sure, where I am, what I have to do, the heat, none of it. I keep trying to change the channel by eating cookies or drinking wine (not that much, but still) or green tea. the mild caffeine in green tea or in decaf coffee is too much for me but hardly anyone on the planet understands that ("oh, go ahead, treat yourself"). 

 

I am fighting the feeling that once I move, or "get out of here" as I think of it, things will get better and really things will be stressful for some time to come. don't even know if I will have a place to live there when I leave (might, might not) and the drive there itself will be stressful and then there is starting a new job in a field I have told myself "never again" due to burnout more than once. talk about stress!

 

so when I get anxiety now, I try to tell myself the answer isn't "out there" the answer has to be inside myself - to accept it and get things done anyway - because things won't get any easier anytime soon. 

 

I am very very grateful for the woman in Oregon who is helping me find housing despite never having met me! 

 

I am grateful for the cool morning air.

 

I am grateful for my strength and mobility.

 

I am grateful I have a new job. 

 

I am grateful for the internet. 

 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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I am grateful for Carmie, who always reminds me to be grateful.

 

I am grateful I get to decide, even when I fear or have trouble doing so.

 

I am grateful a friend said I could spend this weekend with her, on my way to Oregon. 

 

I am grateful for Tara Brach; I friend turned me on to her. currently listening to a talk by her and at the end of a lovely story we learn: 

 

"You will lose everyone you ever love, but the love will always return in new forms" which is hard, but something you need to hear when you are grieving. 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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mdwstrx Rookie

mdwstrx

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Hi Jackie.  You posting helps me so much.  I too am trying to decide what the future holds and this 'durned' wd (even in mild form) adds to the anxiety of not knowing.  We have very different situations but it sounds like the feelings are similar.  What you're doing and posting inspires others, especially me.  I hope you realize that.  Today and other days, I'm grateful for JackieDecides. 💜

 

 

1997 Prozac ?mg

1991 Sertraline ?mg

2002 Escitalopram 10 mg

2018 2.5 mg - stopped by Dr./Reinstated, up-dosed to 7.5 mg

04/19 Began BM slide @7.5 mg

CURRENT  0.34 mg 🌼

 

"If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

Mark 9:23

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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7 hours ago, mdwstrx said:

Today and other days, I'm grateful for JackieDecides. 

 

thank you, what a heart-warming thing to read! ❤️

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Matti Newbie

Matti

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Hey Jackie,

 

Sounds like a lot of stuff to deal with. Hope it all turns out well for you.

 

Matti

2014 June. Citalopram 30mg, Seroquel 25mg. 2016 sept. quit seroquel 25mg fast taper, citalopram 20mg

2017 July citalopram drop to 10mg

2018 March - 2019 July 15th gradual taper to 1.52mg 

2019 July 22nd - 24th 5mg. July 25th 4mg.

2019 November updose Citalopram to 5mg.

2020 May updose Citalopram to 10mg.

Magnesium 200mg nightly.

Fish oil: teaspoon every night.

 

 

 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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I have left my, home doesn't work, I have left the house where I had been living since May and taking a brief rest at a friend's before driving my new home, an empty apartment in a small town I have never seen. Sounds scary but I got great sleep last night and I feel good right now. I miss my netbook and feel claustrophobic on my phone.

 

Today I am grateful for a full night's sleep.

I am grateful for Susan, who said sure when I invited myself to her house.

I am grateful for feeling so good right now, this morning.

I am very grateful to be out of that house, where I frequently felt trapped!!

 

Onward! 

Next home will be a place where I decide! Windows open or closed? I get to decide!!

 

👍

 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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On 8/3/2019 at 7:22 AM, JackieDecides said:

I got great sleep last night

 

that was the last good night's sleep I got!  it was wonderful staying with my friend and the drive out to Oregon wasn't bad. nothing went wrong, anyway. but sleeping in motel rooms isn't easy to do. like, last night I was awake until 11 but couldn't sleep past 4:30.  I guess I should be glad it was that much.

 

but I'm in my new apartment and there is nowhere to sit. this is exhausting to me, I am standing up for everything!

can't wait to go to bed but it's only 7 PM local time. my body thinks it's 8 PM, however.  any time change messes with me badly.

 

tonight it's hard to be grateful but I will try.

 

I'm grateful for wifi

I'm grateful for my AC 

two different people were willing to talk to me on the phone this afternoon/evening when I was and am really needy so that's a blessing. 

 

tomorrow is another day. 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Happy2Heal Contributor

Happy2Heal

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it's a big new adventure!! yes it's hard but it will get better

 

I predict you're at the start of a new chapter in your life that's going to have lots and lots of good stuff in it

 

I'm trying to follow the principles in the books about Hardwiring Happiness, for your sake as well as my own

 

I recall when I was doing this, I did indeed have many good days or at least good chunks of the day were good.

 

live  in the moment and take in the good, those were the things I tried to do each day and it worked great so I"m going back to working on those things

 

I hope you have a good night and fun day tomorrow, filled with pleasant people and sun and many other simple pleasures

 

and before I go all Pollyanna on ya, I'm gonna sign off LOL

 

 

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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HelenaEverywhere Newbie

HelenaEverywhere

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I'm a friend of Jackie's who knows I've been lurking here. But I want to say loudly, Girlfriend, I'm SO PROUD OF YOU. You've overcome so much already, and are now taking these risks that would scare anyone even without a history of anxiety. You're an inspiration.

 

I also want to tell everyone that Jackie was instrumental in curbing my use of Wellbutrin. I have a history of depression that I usually manage with exercise and diet. However, last November my husband died and I was a pretty big mess (still am sometimes). My doctor put me on Wellbutrin and I wanted to pop the things like candy even though they gave me stomach cramps. When Jackie heard this, she told me how difficult withdrawal could be, and pointed me here. I managed to keep to one pill a day for a few months (can't remember dosage), then I decided to withdraw completely. I wasn't taking a lot, but I still tapered according to instructions here. Without Jackie's input, I would've gotten myself in a lot of trouble. I'm so grateful she's my friend! She's amazing!

 

Hugs!

 

Helena  

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xyz Newbie

xyz

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3 hours ago, HelenaEverywhere said:

I'm a friend of Jackie's who knows I've been lurking here. But I want to say loudly, Girlfriend, I'm SO PROUD OF YOU. You've overcome so much already, and are now taking these risks that would scare anyone even without a history of anxiety. You're an inspiration.

 

I also want to tell everyone that Jackie was instrumental in curbing my use of Wellbutrin. I have a history of depression that I usually manage with exercise and diet. However, last November my husband died and I was a pretty big mess (still am sometimes). My doctor put me on Wellbutrin and I wanted to pop the things like candy even though they gave me stomach cramps. When Jackie heard this, she told me how difficult withdrawal could be, and pointed me here. I managed to keep to one pill a day for a few months (can't remember dosage), then I decided to withdraw completely. I wasn't taking a lot, but I still tapered according to instructions here. Without Jackie's input, I would've gotten myself in a lot of trouble. I'm so grateful she's my friend! She's amazing!

 

Hugs!

 

Helena  

 

i knew Jackiedecides is a generous person. i always appreciate when she posts on my thread :)

i am glad Helena that you dodge the hard withdrawal by not staying on W for too long.

 

sometimes i think that depression is a natural way for our body to cope with life, if we don't fear it, it will run its course.

june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

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JackieDecides

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Posted
9 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I'm trying to follow the principles in the books about Hardwiring Happiness, for your sake as well as my own

 

thank you for your kind wishes! 

what principles, @Happy2Heal ?  I found the ebook and put a hold on it, so I'll know soon, but do you mean mindfulness specifically?

 

 

5 hours ago, HelenaEverywhere said:

My doctor put me on Wellbutrin and I wanted to pop the things like candy even though they gave me stomach cramps. When Jackie heard this, she told me how difficult withdrawal could be, and pointed me here. I managed to keep to one pill a day for a few months (can't remember dosage), then I decided to withdraw completely. I wasn't taking a lot, but I still tapered according to instructions here.

 

I am SO glad you were able to hear what I said and take action. Especially at such a vulnerable time in your life, it's hard not to believe a doctor knows best. 

Was your withdrawal easy, then? I sure hope so. 

 

I have another friend who said she was afraid to read here, after I gave her the link, but she is tapering herself off Lexapro much more quickly because her doctor said it was OK. So far she is fine so I'm glad for her, too.  But it's scary because I know what can happen. 

 

onward to the new day.  so far I've learned the person who lives upstairs from me gets up at 3 AM and I find the noise just from him walking around to be worse than I expected; also he has what I think is a glider/rocking chair with a really loud squeaking noise. 

 

I could get used to this noise, right? 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Matti Newbie

Matti

Posted
Posted

I sometimes use earplugs to help with noise at night. Im pretty sensitive to noise though, some people get used to traffic noise etc. a lot easier.

2014 June. Citalopram 30mg, Seroquel 25mg. 2016 sept. quit seroquel 25mg fast taper, citalopram 20mg

2017 July citalopram drop to 10mg

2018 March - 2019 July 15th gradual taper to 1.52mg 

2019 July 22nd - 24th 5mg. July 25th 4mg.

2019 November updose Citalopram to 5mg.

2020 May updose Citalopram to 10mg.

Magnesium 200mg nightly.

Fish oil: teaspoon every night.

 

 

 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

Posted
  • Author
Posted
20 minutes ago, Matti said:

I sometimes use earplugs to help with noise at night. Im pretty sensitive to noise though, some people get used to traffic noise etc. a lot easier.

 

I want to go up and knock on the door and introduce myself. I remember from decades ago, when I last lived in an apartment, if I feel good about a person it helps me not to mind their noise. I used to make up stories about people whose noise bothered me so I had warmer feelings towards them but actually meeting might be better.

is 6 AM too early? it's not like I don't know he's up....

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Matti Newbie

Matti

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, JackieDecides said:

 

I want to go up and knock on the door and introduce myself. I remember from decades ago, when I last lived in an apartment, if I feel good about a person it helps me not to mind their noise. I used to make up stories about people whose noise bothered me so I had warmer feelings towards them but actually meeting might be better.

is 6 AM too early? it's not like I don't know he's up....

 

Great idea I think. I'd wait until later but that's just my cautious nature :)

 

I live in quite a small apartment building so I know most of my neighbours. It certainly helps to know the person to think more emphatically of them.

 

 

2014 June. Citalopram 30mg, Seroquel 25mg. 2016 sept. quit seroquel 25mg fast taper, citalopram 20mg

2017 July citalopram drop to 10mg

2018 March - 2019 July 15th gradual taper to 1.52mg 

2019 July 22nd - 24th 5mg. July 25th 4mg.

2019 November updose Citalopram to 5mg.

2020 May updose Citalopram to 10mg.

Magnesium 200mg nightly.

Fish oil: teaspoon every night.

 

 

 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

Posted
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Posted

I will wait til they are active again - they've gone silent. I wonder if the 3 AM thing was insomnia? if so, maybe we can bond over it.

 

this morning I am grateful for a floor I can keep clean and where there is lots of space to get on my yoga mat and do back stretches. nothing is as good as doing it on the floor. no cat pee smell, bonus!

 

I am grateful for this beautiful little town, so funky. 

 

I am very grateful for AC

 

I am grateful I can afford to go and get some furniture. not having anywhere to sit and keeping everything on the floor is tiring! 

 

I am grateful for this place to post such things. 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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Posted

I did meet the guy upstairs - he is a sad Vietnam Vet with lots of pain and nightmares and other health issues. poor guy. but I feel better about any noise he makes, for some reason. because now I know who is up there, I guess.

 

I had a not very good day today shopping - lots of looking and very little bought - couldn't find a bra to fit me despite hours of trying on at various stores. nothing fit. 

 

I was anxious all morning and then instead of it going away in the afternoon like it usually does, it got worse. when I got home I felt like it was only a question of which I should have, wine or Xanax - but I ended up just waiting, having neither, and eventually it went away. but it wasn't a good day. 

 

why was I was anxious all day?  anxious about starting my new job on monday.   anxious I keep losing weight.  anxious I haven't gotten any mail since I moved.  anxious about  everything I need to get done. anxious about the smell in this basement. and the clothes I just got at the thrift store - they smell, too. will I ever get used to this?

 

tonight I am grateful I feel better, finally

I am grateful for this chair I'm sitting in - instead of standing up for everything

I'm grateful the weather cooled off

that's all I've got tonight

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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xyz Newbie

xyz

Posted
Posted

Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time at this moment jackie. That is a lot of recent change. It will get better soon once you feel more settled and get on a routine with your new job. It would be difficult for anyone. 

Glad you didn't go for the xanax or wine. Your brain will get stronger at dealing with the stress. 

 

What is that smell in the basement? 

june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

Posted
  • Author
Posted
6 hours ago, xyz said:

What is that smell in the basement? 

thank you for your kind words @xyz

 

I am pretty sure the smell is  mold or mildew. (don't know the difference)  it's a "basementy" smell, "musty".

I have only  lived in very dry climates for years and now I am in a place where I showered yesterday morning and last night before bed I was shocked to feel that the washcloth was still damp. same with my mop. In fact, the mop I used yesterday morning and wrung out as much as possible is still damp this morning, ugh. 

 

I'm sure there IS a smell but also I am likely over-reacting to it ("freaking out" if you will) as I tend to do with everything. 

 

I'm going to use vinegar for washing the thrift store clothes (they all have the smell) and look for some essential oils to use around the apartment but, otherwise, I think I will just have to learn to accept it. 

 

like I need to accept lots of things - feeling bad, uncertainty, loneliness, and so on. 

 

this morning I am grateful I got 6.5 hours of sleep.

I am grateful there are rummage sales to go to and hope I get some things I really need. 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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RachelSusan Contributor

RachelSusan

Posted
  • Mentor
Posted

Hi JackieDecides,

I read your posts and wanted to wish you good luck on Monday. The first week of any new job is stressful, but then we find our way. You sound like a really great person. I bet once they get to know you they will appreciate you. Good luck.

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

 

NEW INFORMATION FOR GABAPENTIN TAPER

April 29, 2022 900 mg to 800 mg (11%), May 29, 2022 800 to 700 mg (12.5%), June 20, 2022 700 to 650mg (8%), July 20, 2022 650 to 575 (12%), August 20,  575 to 500 (13%),  Sept 20, 2020 500 to 475mg (5%) Nov 7, 2022 475 to 425 (11%), Nov 21, 2022 500mg

Medications: Gabapentin, Prednisone 1.5mg a day, Cortisol Inhaler daily. 

HISTORY FOR ZOLOFT TAPER

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft.  Put on Gabapentin at 900mg a day in 2016 due to antidepressant withdrawal. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mg.  Feb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mg.  Jan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thank you, @RachelSusan, I appreciate it. I know this job will work out because it HAS to. but, that's adding to my stress. but, honestly, I don't have a plan B. the last couple jobs were low pay: this one is a bit more and I could actually live on it and maybe even get out of debt! so it's vital it works out OK. 

 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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  • Mentor
RachelSusan Contributor

RachelSusan

Posted
  • Mentor
Posted

I have a feeling it will work out, because you will make it work out. 

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

 

NEW INFORMATION FOR GABAPENTIN TAPER

April 29, 2022 900 mg to 800 mg (11%), May 29, 2022 800 to 700 mg (12.5%), June 20, 2022 700 to 650mg (8%), July 20, 2022 650 to 575 (12%), August 20,  575 to 500 (13%),  Sept 20, 2020 500 to 475mg (5%) Nov 7, 2022 475 to 425 (11%), Nov 21, 2022 500mg

Medications: Gabapentin, Prednisone 1.5mg a day, Cortisol Inhaler daily. 

HISTORY FOR ZOLOFT TAPER

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft.  Put on Gabapentin at 900mg a day in 2016 due to antidepressant withdrawal. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mg.  Feb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mg.  Jan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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xyz Newbie

xyz

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

thank you, @RachelSusan, I appreciate it. I know this job will work out because it HAS to. but, that's adding to my stress. but, honestly, I don't have a plan B. the last couple jobs were low pay: this one is a bit more and I could actually live on it and maybe even get out of debt! so it's vital it works out OK. 

 

 

 

Jackie,

you will do great.

getting out of debt sounds good :)

 

try to preserve your energy when things get tough. (like not over reacting)-

i see it like saying "yes" to the universe:  "okay, i will take that one, and I will learn from this"

then the universe goes "all right, i won't throw more crazy things at ya then"...

 

june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

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xyz Newbie

xyz

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

I'm going to use vinegar for washing the thrift store clothes (they all have the smell) and look for some essential oils to use around the apartment but, otherwise, I think I will just have to learn to accept it. 

 

 

i love essential oil or even perfume. they put me in a good mood.

i think the smell is one of the senses that is deeply wired into the part of your brain that store your memory and trigger emotions.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-babble/201501/smells-ring-bells-how-smell-triggers-memories-and-emotions

june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

Posted
  • Author
Posted
2 hours ago, xyz said:

i see it like saying "yes" to the universe:

 

exactly: another way to explain acceptance. 

 

I feel like I have spent most of my life saying "no" and running away from everything. now, I learn not to. it is sure taking a lot of practice! 🙄

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

Posted
  • Author
Posted
2 hours ago, xyz said:

i think the smell is one of the senses that is deeply wired into the part of your brain that store your memory and trigger emotions.

 

interesting - the smell of this basement is just like the smell of the basement of the house where I grew up, maybe it's bringing back some less than happy memories for me? or maybe not and I am just over-reacting to it in a more general sense. either way I am going to look for essential oils this weekend. 

 

today I am grateful I have 2 full days before work (so much to get done) 

I am grateful I have been getting a good 6 hours of sleep at night (white noise from the fan!)

there's more, but I have to go do stuff.

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

Posted
  • Author
Posted

doesn't it seem unfair that it's possible to feel both TIRED and ANXIOUS at the same time? it sure does to me. 😡

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Happy2Heal Contributor

Happy2Heal

Posted
  • Mentor
Posted
16 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

doesn't it seem unfair that it's possible to feel both TIRED and ANXIOUS at the same time? it sure does to me. 😡

 

 

yes it does seem unfair

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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JackieDecides Rookie

JackieDecides

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today is the first day of my new job and I've had a fair amount of anxiety this week and especially yesterday.

 

this morning the first thing that happened was I dropped and broke my bifocals! 

 

I don't have another pair of those but I am very grateful I have a pair of distance and a pair of reading glasses!!  but who has time to switch back and forth? I will end up putting my distance glasses on top of my head and just squinting for any computer work and paperwork. ugh! 

 

well, trying to look at this as a way to "start as I mean to go on" by not freaking out about it and just realizing it's something I can, literally, get fixed. just like any other problem that comes up. :huh:

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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On 8/10/2019 at 2:51 PM, JackieDecides said:

doesn't it seem unfair that it's possible to feel both TIRED and ANXIOUS at the same time? it sure does to me. 😡

 

Lol, absolutely.

So make sure to write a letter

(i say that to my kids each time they complain and each time they ask "to whom?" and that crack me up)

 

sorry didn't mean to make fun.

i can totally relate though

sending you hugs

 

june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

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