MRothbard Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Tara Brach. Check her out on youTube. Tons of videos. I'm finding that Buddhism has so many answers to how to go about living which really resonate with me, and are really helpful when in a wave. September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne Link to comment
xyz Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 tara brach, yes love her. all about unconditional acceptance. most of our neurosis comes from our resistance and our fear of experiencing emotions. the pain comes from the fear itself, not from the emotions. june 2014 to feb 2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of intrusive Tinnitus april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19 LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19 April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro Link to comment
xyz Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 one of her many quotes: “The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.” june 2014 to feb 2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of intrusive Tinnitus april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19 LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19 April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro Link to comment
xyz Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 one more: “I recently read in the book My Stroke of Insight by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor that the natural life span of an emotion—the average time it takes for it to move through the nervous system and body—is only a minute and a half. After that we need thoughts to keep the emotion rolling. So if we wonder why we lock into painful emotional states like anxiety, depression, or rage, we need look no further than our own endless stream of inner dialogue.” ― Tara Brach june 2014 to feb 2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of intrusive Tinnitus april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19 LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19 April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro Link to comment
MRothbard Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 Yes. ^^^this. Although in withdrawal, sometimes you just feel a certain way, and it's no fault of your own. Seems sometimes i try to blame asome part of my life for the feeling when really it's just a withdrawal symptom. September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne Link to comment
xyz Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 4 hours ago, MRothbard said: Yes. ^^^this. Although in withdrawal, sometimes you just feel a certain way, and it's no fault of your own. Seems sometimes i try to blame asome part of my life for the feeling when really it's just a withdrawal symptom. i think the issue is when we attach significance to our thought and mental process, whether in withdrawal or not if we just let go, don;t take it personal, then things are easier. for this, acceptance is the first step. june 2014 to feb 2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of intrusive Tinnitus april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19 LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19 April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro Link to comment
MRothbard Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 10 hours ago, xyz said: i think the issue is when we attach significance to our thought and mental process, whether in withdrawal or not if we just let go, don;t take it personal, then things are easier. for this, acceptance is the first step. yes. Sometimes it's difficult to be objective. But I've told myself now is not the time to make any big decisions as far as job, where I live, etc. September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne Link to comment
xyz Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 12 hours ago, MRothbard said: yes. Sometimes it's difficult to be objective. But I've told myself now is not the time to make any big decisions as far as job, where I live, etc. that is a good point. when should we act and make decision? my husband is a scientist and make decision more objectively than i do. he looks at the fact in most situation and take himself out of the equation. the observer of the experience. i am a lot more impulsive and emotional. not a bad thing. i am more creative and intuitive. i am trying to develop that 3rd person point of view. let's say that it is not easy... june 2014 to feb 2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of intrusive Tinnitus april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19 LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19 April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted November 9, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 9, 2018 11 hours ago, xyz said: that is a good point. when should we act and make decision? my husband is a scientist and make decision more objectively than i do. he looks at the fact in most situation and take himself out of the equation. the observer of the experience. i am a lot more impulsive and emotional. not a bad thing. i am more creative and intuitive. i am trying to develop that 3rd person point of view. let's say that it is not easy... I like your perspectives xyz. It seems that being creative and intuitive comes with being impulsive and emotional but also with being highly sensitive. (see how much nicer that sounds than: hyper sensitive. Hyper sensitive implies that something is wrong with us but highly sensitive just states a fact, which is both good and bad just like any other characteristic. I found that concept very helpful in understanding, accepting and taking care of myself: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ I recently started listening to Tara Brach and like it a lot. I look forward to reading through the thread more Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
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