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Happy2Heal

Happy2Heal my Victory statement

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Cocopuffz17
11 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

time for reflection.

I've been acutely aware of the fact that I'm coming up on 2yrs off the lexapro.

Probably because I think I may have had a few mild waves from that 5% that is still healing....

but it's like tiny ripples coming to the shore after a pebble was dropped  into a still pond, it's NOTHING like the crashing intense waves of acute withdrawal. thank gawd.

it's like little blips of things, a flash of rage, an icky deja vu feeling, some despair or hopelessness that quickly fades, even sometimes some emptiness or anhedonia.

 

I try to put this entire experience into some perspective but it's hard. It's so outside of anything else that I've ever gone thru.

 

I know that at this time 3 years ago, I was suffering terribly, but it almost doesn't seem real any more, it's so far in the past. But still close enough in the rear view mirror that I can involuntarily shudder when a memory is triggered by a song or what have you.

 

 

I wish I had some words of wisdom but mostly I just want to know, what do others think of my journey?

 

 

 

Thats awesome, 2 years!! :) Such an achievement! 

 

Yes, it is extremely hard. I would of never understood without going through it on my own. Like having no control over feelings/actions of your body and they just come and go at random and in all different forms, extremely scary(Although being on this forum took all that fear away for me as I now know it's PAWS)

 

These are all greats words of wisdom! It is awesome of you to be strong enough to post your struggle and success for others to view. I personally read success stories when I am having a rough day and I need to read how people, such as yourself went through it and overcame it. I really appreciate it and THANK YOU!! 

 

Everyday that passes is another day closer to being healed :) !!! 

 

Have a great evening! 

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JackieDecides
12 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I wish I had some words of wisdom but mostly I just want to know, what do others think of my journey?

 

I think you are incredibly inspiring and I love to read your posts. 

 

I know you continue to have challenges, but you keep on fighting them and you set an excellent example. 

is it OK to congratulate you on the two years?  😍

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Happy2Heal
On 9/12/2019 at 9:48 PM, JackieDecides said:

 

I think you are incredibly inspiring and I love to read your posts. 

 

I know you continue to have challenges, but you keep on fighting them and you set an excellent example. 

is it OK to congratulate you on the two years?  😍

 

thank you so much for your kind words Jackie, you always say the nicest things!

I often don't feel inspiring, and sometimes almost feel like  a fraud, because I tend to keep the times I'm struggling to myself a lot. I do this because I know when I was in acute withdrawal, I'd read success stories and if there was even the tiniest hint of "trouble" I'd kind of freak out a bit and get discouraged.

I realize now that was my own reaction due to the neuro emotions and whatnot, and that most folks will probably realize that even when you're successfully off these drugs, you're still going to have to deal with life issues- and life is messy and can sometimes be hard. :P

 

Thanks for the congratulations, yeh it's ok but it's still a bit early, I  think I was "officially" off the lexapro in mid Oct of 2107... It seems so long ago now, I barely remember.

 

I continue to be extremely lucky in that I've not once gone back to earlier period of acute symptoms. Sure I've had some waves, but they've been mild and short and all the tools I've accumulated over the past few years have helped me thru them.

 

now speaking of setting a good example, no one does  gratefulness lists better than yours. You remind me to think of what I do have, rather than what I don't.

 

and now I'm trying to remind myself to be grateful for my challenges, because, really, I'd be so bored without some sort of problem to solve! just so long as not too many problems gang up on me at once :D

 

 

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JackieDecides
1 hour ago, Happy2Heal said:

I tend to keep the times I'm struggling to myself a lot. I do this because I know when I was in acute withdrawal, I'd read success stories and if there was even the tiniest hint of "trouble" I'd kind of freak out a bit and get discouraged.

 

besides not wanting to freak people out, I think it's natural to want to talk about the good times more - it's more fun to write about! and bad times makes me less likely to put in the effort in posting here. that might be part of it. 

 

but I don't think you are a fraud at all, not whatsoever!!!!!!  you are "keeping it real" as much as you can, I can tell. 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Happy2Heal said:

most folks will probably realize that even when you're successfully off these drugs, you're still going to have to deal with life issues- and life is messy and can sometimes be hard.

 

naw, I have frequently thought everything was going to be JUST PEACHY from now on.....!

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Happy2Heal
5 minutes ago, JackieDecides said:

naw, I have frequently thought everything was going to be JUST PEACHY from now on.....!

 

ok what are you drinkin' or smokin' sistah and can I have some? 😂🤣🤣🤣

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Happy2Heal

It's been 2yrs since I took my last tiny drop of lexapro

 

YAY ME!

 

things are good, I am sleeping much better and just taking each day as it comes

 

not much else to say! 

:)

 

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Cocopuffz17
57 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

It's been 2yrs since I took my last tiny drop of lexapro

 

YAY ME!

 

things are good, I am sleeping much better and just taking each day as it comes

 

not much else to say! 

:)

 

Woohoo! That’s awesome what would you say your improvement is from the last dose to now? 

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Happy2Heal
1 hour ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Woohoo! That’s awesome what would you say your improvement is from the last dose to now? 

it's hard to say, really, it's all been pretty gradual.

 

the changes were so small and happened over time, so that I really didn't even notice a lot of things til the "problem" was gone. I would think I was fully healed, but then I'd realize, oh hey, I haven't had any ringing in my ears for months now! I'd become used to it so you'd think I'd have noticed when it stopped but I didn't.

 

With one exception, that is: I had resigned myself to having sleep issues that probably wouldn't ever go away.  I had assumed were age related (older ppl generally don't need to sleep as much, since we're no longer growing lol and since I recall my dad complaining of poor sleep, I figured it was just something I had to adapt to)  I don't like waking up so early but I figured I'd just need to get used to it.

 

but as it turns out, my sleep is continuing to improve. I still don't need an alarm clock and may never need one again, I don't know.  But now,  when I fall asleep at night I sleep a lot longer before waking up. Usually I just need to make a bathroom run, then I easily fall back asleep. 

 

a lot of my issues in the past 2 years seemed to be mostly related to what I'd call PTSD type reactions from that super bad year of acute symptoms of  WD, along with some minor waves of actual symptoms of WD.

 

at least that's my thinking now. It's so hard to say.

with time, my perspective changes, ya know?

 

I have been living a good full life for the past couple of years and even during the acute WD I was able to do a lot of things and find some small joy in my life here and there, as awful as that year was. 

I always knew that I'd recover and that seemed to be what helped me get thru the worst of it.

 

um, what was the question again...? LOL I've been looking at photos from the past 5 yrs or, since I did attempt to go off the lexapro several times before succeeding, and so much has changed.

I am a much calmer and more centered person now. People notice that and say that I help to calm them down.

 

anyway, it was one heck of a journey but I do believe if I"m not at 100% healed now, I"m as close to it as I'll ever get.

I'd be very surprised if things could get better than they are now, but I"m open to that possibility. I mean, why not? I think we should all be open to the possibility of more good stuff.

;)

 

❤️

 

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Cocopuffz17
1 hour ago, Happy2Heal said:

it's hard to say, really, it's all been pretty gradual.

 

the changes were so small and happened over time, so that I really didn't even notice a lot of things til the "problem" was gone. I would think I was fully healed, but then I'd realize, oh hey, I haven't had any ringing in my ears for months now! I'd become used to it so you'd think I'd have noticed when it stopped but I didn't.

 

With one exception, that is: I had resigned myself to having sleep issues that probably wouldn't ever go away.  I had assumed were age related (older ppl generally don't need to sleep as much, since we're no longer growing lol and since I recall my dad complaining of poor sleep, I figured it was just something I had to adapt to)  I don't like waking up so early but I figured I'd just need to get used to it.

 

but as it turns out, my sleep is continuing to improve. I still don't need an alarm clock and may never need one again, I don't know.  But now,  when I fall asleep at night I sleep a lot longer before waking up. Usually I just need to make a bathroom run, then I easily fall back asleep. 

 

a lot of my issues in the past 2 years seemed to be mostly related to what I'd call PTSD type reactions from that super bad year of acute symptoms of  WD, along with some minor waves of actual symptoms of WD.

 

at least that's my thinking now. It's so hard to say.

with time, my perspective changes, ya know?

 

I have been living a good full life for the past couple of years and even during the acute WD I was able to do a lot of things and find some small joy in my life here and there, as awful as that year was. 

I always knew that I'd recover and that seemed to be what helped me get thru the worst of it.

 

um, what was the question again...? LOL I've been looking at photos from the past 5 yrs or, since I did attempt to go off the lexapro several times before succeeding, and so much has changed.

I am a much calmer and more centered person now. People notice that and say that I help to calm them down.

 

anyway, it was one heck of a journey but I do believe if I"m not at 100% healed now, I"m as close to it as I'll ever get.

I'd be very surprised if things could get better than they are now, but I"m open to that possibility. I mean, why not? I think we should all be open to the possibility of more good stuff.

;)

 

❤️

 

 

That is great to hear!

 

That is awesome on the tinnitus.... I had it for a solid 5-6 months and now I don't notice it at all maybe 1-2 times here and there. 

 

I also know I will heal and that is what powers me through. I know without stories like yours giving me hope I would of jumped back on the drug train. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. 

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Longestroadhome

I am so happy to read this. This gives me such hope. I am only twelve months lexapro free and have been mostly good with the odd bad days. I believe things will only get better 🙏

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JackieDecides
On 10/17/2019 at 3:16 PM, Happy2Heal said:

It's been 2yrs since I took my last tiny drop of lexapro

 

YAY, you!! 

 

 

On 10/17/2019 at 5:31 PM, Happy2Heal said:

I think we should all be open to the possibility of more good stuff.

;)

 

amen, Sister, this is The Truth.  I'm so glad to hear how well things are going. 🤗

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Gertie

Hi Happy,

 

I'm new to this site - I just joined last week to try to help my 19 year old daughter who is having withdrawal issues from Zoloft that started 3 months after she stopped taking it.  Thanks to this website we reinstated her last week at 1mg and she's doing a lot better already and I'm feeling more hopeful about her long term progress.  It horrifies me that such a sweet, sensitive, young, kind, smart woman has to go through this when she should be enjoying her first semester of college, dating, going out with friends, etc.

 

I have spent the past 7 days barely sleeping, trying to learn as much as I can from all of your experiences to have the best chance to save my daughter's quality of life.   I read your entire story, and I want you to know how much your vulnerability in sharing it with us has impacted me.  It was scary at times to read, and I fear and worry about my daughter experiencing those times of hopelessness too.  But you have also given me such HOPE, something I really need right now.  I know it's going to be a loooooong slow painful journey for her, but I see where you are today and I feel hopeful.

 

 I just wanted you to know that, and to thank you for sticking around to show us that people do come out the other side.

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Happy2Heal
On 11/18/2019 at 3:06 PM, Gertie said:

 

 

I have spent the past 7 days barely sleeping, trying to learn as much as I can from all of your experiences to have the best chance to save my daughter's quality of life.   I read your entire story, and I want you to know how much your vulnerability in sharing it with us has impacted me.  It was scary at times to read, and I fear and worry about my daughter experiencing those times of hopelessness too.  But you have also given me such HOPE, something I really need right now.  I know it's going to be a loooooong slow painful journey for her, but I see where you are today and I feel hopeful.

 

 I just wanted you to know that, and to thank you for sticking around to show us that people do come out the other side.

 

 

hi Gertie,

your daughter is so lucky to have you looking out for her like this. Please take good care of yourself,  get some sleep and relax- or try to!
Knowledge is  power and you've armed yourself with lots of knowledge that will help you both get thru this trying time.

But yes, she's most likely going to be just fine. There's really no reason to think otherwise. As far as I am aware, the vast majority of ppl recover from this experience and go on with their lives, often stronger than they were before.

 

yes my journey was scary in points but I believe I have a complicating factor,  I suffered a lot of trauma very early in life, essentially from birth, and therefore have what some call complex PTSD or developmental PTSD.   I also have a very long history of being medicated.

 

I haven't updated my thread recently because I've been quite busy and very very happy with my life. It seems to be getting better in leaps and bounds lately. This always surprises me. I think I am fully healed or about as close as one can get, and I find out that my brain is apparently still improving. It's a pleasant surprise. I'll take it, sometimes I feel I earned it, heh.

 

 

I hope your daughter's journey thru withdrawal is as uneventful as it can be, and that it's over as quickly as is possible. 
 

I was on zoloft before I switched to celexa and then to lexapro and I recall having a lot of dizziness, headaches and brain zaps, as well as muscle tension, esp in the jaw and back of the head/neck. Plus an overall muscle tension.

but fortunately the emotional/mental effects of zoloft were mild, nothing like those that came from lexapro, which I personally feel is one of the strongest ADs out there. I mention this because your daughter may not go thru the darkness and despair and extreme anxiety/dread that are associated with some ADs.  Also, keep in mind, my own dark and scary stuff was almost certainly part of my trauma history, that was exacerbated by the WD 

I hope that gives you even more hope, or helps to alleviate some of your concerns.

 

and of course, keep in mind that everyone is different and your daughter's healing will follow it's own path and it's own ups and downs.

 

it's wonderful that she's got you on her side and there beside her helping her thru this. It will make a huge difference, I"m sure  ❤️

 

 

remember, though, you can't pour from an empty cup. take good care of yourself too 
;)

 

 

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Cherio

So happy for you, your story is similar to mine. I'm doing pretty darn good. 8 months still having some annoying symptoms but have many good days and even fun times!

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