Happy2Heal my Victory statement

[Happy2Heal]

21 hours ago, Ariel said:

I'm sorry you had to cross paths with him and so glad it's in your rearview!

thanks.

 

do you accept private messages?

I would like to respond to this but only privately, if that's ok?

 

[Ariel]

3 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

do you accept private messages?

I would like to respond to this but only privately, if that's ok?

 

Yes you are welcome to PM me @Happy2Heal

[Happy2Heal]

16 hours ago, Ariel said:

 

Yes you are welcome to PM me @Happy2Heal

ok it may be a few days or more

exhausted right now, my best friend got some bad news and I need some time for her

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

welp it's almost that time!!

in a couple of weeks I will have been totally off all psych drugs for FIVE YEARS!!

 

woohoo!

more and more, I have settled into myself and am more comfortable in my own body than at any other time in my life.

 

life is good ❤️

 

Edited September 16, 2022 by Happy2Heal

[Erell]

3 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

life is good ❤️

THANK YOU FOR THIS ! ❤️

 

and congratulations on your amazing accomplishment !

[RachelSusan]

@Happy2Heal I wanted to answer your question from the Mentor page so I started looking for your thread and just found this.  Oh my, I am impressed with you. I salute you.  I had no idea.  I appreciate where you and have come from and all you have done in light of that.  Very few people leave me in awe like this, but you have done so.

 

In answer to your question, I feel great being off the anti-depressants. I feel good physically and emotionally.  So much happier.

[Happy2Heal]

9 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

In answer to your question, I feel great being off the anti-depressants. I feel good physically and emotionally.  So much happier.

oh I am so glad to hear this!!

I know that we can have some mild problems for awhile even after getting to zero and honestly it seems I did a lot more healing after getting to zero,

even though I felt great, I kept feeling better and better!

 

oh you make me blush. I did not do anything extraordinary. Thru it all, I felt I had only one choice, which was to keep going forward. What else was I going to do? the wheels were set in motion after several failed attempts and rapid tapers, I was likely kindled at that point and nothing would make any difference. Just time and letting my body heal itself.

It wasn't pretty, I had some really rough times and whined and b*tched a lot during them, but I did keep going forward.

I did feel heroic at first but now I am much less impressed with myself, as I get out more and live a more social and normal life (after having been housebound for decades!) I see that many of my issues are minor compared to others and have put things more in perspective. I'm proud of myself, to be sure, but meh, nothing really impressive. 

 

there's No looking back now. I have a good life and I spend the vast majority of my time just enjoying it

 

 

 

 

thanks so much for stopping by! and for your kind words

 

 

[wantrelief]

11 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

more and more, I have settled into myself and am more comfortable in my own body than at any other time in my life.

This is wonderful to hear H2H and very inspiring!  Thank you for being here and continuing to share your journey as well as provide such compassionate support to others. 💖

[JackieDecides]

On 9/15/2022 at 9:31 PM, Happy2Heal said:

more and more, I have settled into myself and am more comfortable in my own body than at any other time in my life.

 

On 9/16/2022 at 7:25 AM, Happy2Heal said:

live a more social and normal life (after having been housebound for decades!) I see that many of my issues are minor compared to others and have put things more in perspective.

 

On 9/16/2022 at 7:25 AM, Happy2Heal said:

I have a good life and I spend the vast majority of my time just enjoying it

 What a good report: I am SO glad to read this. 

 

You are an insiration to everyone, feel free to enjoy knowing that. 🤗

[peaceandlove]

Hey  So it basically took you a year to recover once you were completely off. Did you work at all during that first year? Or did you just stay home & relax 

[Happy2Heal]

6 hours ago, peaceandlove said:

Hey  So it basically took you a year to recover once you were completely off. Did you work at all during that first year? Or did you just stay home & relax 

 

no I'm retired. I didn't stay home though, I volunteered and I had a very active social life

The discomfort of WD recovery pushed me to do things I'd not done before, as distractions from what I was going thru

 

how are you doing?

 

[peaceandlove]

11 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

no I'm retired. I didn't stay home though, I volunteered and I had a very active social life

The discomfort of WD recovery pushed me to do things I'd not done before, as distractions from what I was going thru

 

how are you doing?

 

Oh ok, That is good you used volunteering as a distraction and friends as well 🙂 I was just wondering if resting may have sped up your process. 

 

I am ok. I hit 6 months tomorrow. Just tons of physical symptoms & feeling so much fatigue. Do you remember when you fatigue finally went away? 

[Happy2Heal]

2 hours ago, peaceandlove said:

Oh ok, That is good you used volunteering as a distraction and friends as well 🙂 I was just wondering if resting may have sped up your process. 

 

I am ok. I hit 6 months tomorrow. Just tons of physical symptoms & feeling so much fatigue. Do you remember when you fatigue finally went away? 

oh I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I did not really have fatigue, my most long lasting symptom was severe insomnia and different levels of anxiety. 

 

oddly enough, I am currently experiencing fatigue and even though I have been totally off all pysch  meds since Oct 2017;  I wonder if it's my body finally wanting to catch up on all that sleep I didn't get for so many years.

I had insomnia for a long time because I made several unsuccessful attempts to go off the lexapro, before finally getting off for good.

So I was, I believe, already "kindled" by the time I decided to keep going and get off it for good.

 

Whether my current fatigue is at all related to WD recovery or not, one thing I learned during recovery was to listen to my body

 

right now, my body seems to need more sleep than usual and I am listening to it!

 

if you feel tired, and can sleep, if I were you, I'd do it, if you are able to.

 

I have heard, and tend to agree, that good sleep does seem to help with recovery.

I hope that you are able to rest and that your physical symptoms lessen as they surely will with time, but I hope it's very soon for you.

 

I recall that often I would have some slightly more intense symptoms, a wave, as they say, that would end and I would be much more healed and In a much better place after that rocky period.

I got to where I almost welcomed the rough patches because I knew that when they were over, I would be at a new and higher level of healing

 

I pray that it goes that well for you

 

❤️

 

 

 

 

 

[arbor]

Thank you @Happy2Heal for taking the time to share your experiences.  It is such a boost to hear how well you're doing.  To make it through w/d is an incredible journey.  I'm not surprised you're feeling better and better, or that you're also feeling some fatigue.  I send you all my best for your ongoing health and well being 💗

Arbor

[peaceandlove]

On 10/25/2022 at 8:30 PM, Happy2Heal said:

oh I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I did not really have fatigue, my most long lasting symptom was severe insomnia and different levels of anxiety. 

 

oddly enough, I am currently experiencing fatigue and even though I have been totally off all pysch  meds since Oct 2017;  I wonder if it's my body finally wanting to catch up on all that sleep I didn't get for so many years.

I had insomnia for a long time because I made several unsuccessful attempts to go off the lexapro, before finally getting off for good.

So I was, I believe, already "kindled" by the time I decided to keep going and get off it for good.

 

Whether my current fatigue is at all related to WD recovery or not, one thing I learned during recovery was to listen to my body

 

right now, my body seems to need more sleep than usual and I am listening to it!

 

if you feel tired, and can sleep, if I were you, I'd do it, if you are able to.

 

I have heard, and tend to agree, that good sleep does seem to help with recovery.

I hope that you are able to rest and that your physical symptoms lessen as they surely will with time, but I hope it's very soon for you.

 

I recall that often I would have some slightly more intense symptoms, a wave, as they say, that would end and I would be much more healed and In a much better place after that rocky period.

I got to where I almost welcomed the rough patches because I knew that when they were over, I would be at a new and higher level of healing

 

I pray that it goes that well for you

 

❤️

 

 

 

 

 

luckily I don’t experience insomnia quite that much. Even before I took this pill I always heard that it was an anxiety symptom & people complaining not being able to sleep for months; while I really never experienced that. I’m able to sleep when I want for the most part. Sorry to hear you are having sleeping trouble lately… I have a feeling it’s nothing to do with WD & just life. Thank you so much for sticking around on this website & for all the advice 🙂 

[Happy2Heal]

On 10/28/2022 at 4:53 PM, peaceandlove said:

luckily I don’t experience insomnia quite that much. Even before I took this pill I always heard that it was an anxiety symptom & people complaining not being able to sleep for months; while I really never experienced that. I’m able to sleep when I want for the most part. Sorry to hear you are having sleeping trouble lately… I have a feeling it’s nothing to do with WD & just life. Thank you so much for sticking around on this website & for all the advice 🙂 

thank you for your kind words

sorry for the delay in responding

 

you were right, the trouble sleeping and stuff has nothing to do with WD at all, more or less, it's just life!! 

 

WD/recovery doesn't mean we get that proverbial Rose Garden (from that song, "I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden, along with the sunshine, there needs to be a little rain sometime" at least that's my best recollection of the lyrics lol)

 

so just hit a rainy patch. things are starting to look up

I found out my vit D level was VERY VERY Low!! so I am taking supplements of that plus vit K2 (which from what I read help the vit D3 work better) and I am starting to feel a bit better.

IT's been about 3 weeks so still early

 

I do have more energy and am finding it easier to sleep (except that now my cat expects middle of the night play times and is upset when I want to stay in bed ROFL she'll get over it I"m sure)

 

 

[peaceandlove]

Hello, did you ever experience crazy intrusive thoughts and ocd like symptoms during your withdrawal ? Like your mind would just not my quiet and constant looping about things @Happy2Heal

[Happy2Heal]

45 minutes ago, peaceandlove said:

Hello, did you ever experience crazy intrusive thoughts and ocd like symptoms during your withdrawal ? Like your mind would just not my quiet and constant looping about things @Happy2Heal

 

oh yes I definitely did!! intrusive thoughts like crazy and looping things, all VERY common withdrawal symptoms

 

Annoying for sure but they will go away in time!

 

[peaceandlove]

On 5/31/2023 at 2:28 PM, Happy2Heal said:

 

oh yes I definitely did!! intrusive thoughts like crazy and looping things, all VERY common withdrawal symptoms

 

Annoying for sure but they will go away in time!

 

thank you so much for the reassurance 🙂

[peaceandlove]

Are you still sensitive to vitamins / supplements?

[Happy2Heal]

25 minutes ago, peaceandlove said:

Are you still sensitive to vitamins / supplements?

 

No I don't think so... I've had to take high dose vit D for awhile and some calcium and haven't had a problem with those

I went back to taking a kind of magnesium I took years ago that is supposed to be good for those with afib, called Magnesium taurate, and that helps me sleep! 

I am also taking a vegan DHA Omega 3 supplement that seems to dampen down my sugar cravings. 

I am taking celebrex (rx) for pain now and no issues with that.

 

and I take B12 once or twice a month (I think it's 5000 IUs, it's impossible to find a low enough dose in pills, you don't really need much so it was suggested that I take the larger dose just a couple of times a month) my B12 level is tested and it's fine.

 

 

It appears that my body does not convert sunshine to vit D very well, so I was low in that and got very depressed.

I can't say for sure that the low vit D caused the depression (this was last fall, esp in Nov) or if the depression caused the low vit D, I don't know if anyone has studied that, but as my vit D level went up, I felt better and better so my guess is that low Vit d can make you feel like crap

 

I DO still have trouble with caffeine!! sometimes I can drink some black/orange pekoe tea and be fine, other times not so much.

I can drink a little bit of decaf coffee once in a great while but it does disturb my sleep and is "dose dependent" - the more coffee i have the less sleep I will get that night

 

on rare occasions I will have a paradoxical reaction to caffeine - it will put me to sleep in about 30 mins LOL but this is rare

 

I also am sensitive to chocolate. It's a mistake for me to eat any after mid day

and I really feel better if I eat none at all, but I do love chocolate lol

 

I'll be having surgery soon ish (in the next year or so) and finding the right anesthesia and pain meds will be hard

I can't take gabapentin

I can't take oxycodone

I can't take percocet

I can't take Tylenol at all, I have Gilberts syndrome (and there's anesthesia that is not safe for me either due to Gilberts)

I won't take any benzos and they push those to use with the spinal (versed esp) I will request propofol, I have no problem with that.

 

 

so how are you doing @peaceandlove?

 

Edited July 2, 2023 by Happy2Heal

[Phoenixmama]

@Happy2Heal hi i was doing some searching on vit D  to try and see how members got along with vit d and if they had any flared up symptoms with it, im a level 20 on the lab test which is on the lowerside , i am 44 years old and for about five months noticed the bones in my feet are hurting and my lower back along with muscles aches for no good reason along with other symptoms of low vit d... Dr says im fine with a level 20 and i just dont trust her anymore id like to be in the middle somewhere and maybe some of my symptoms will fade... also my ferritin is a level 10 and she says thats fine.... i really want to take some iron and vit d pills but not sure if theres been members who had a up tick in wd symptoms... any help would be appreciated  

 

[Happy2Heal]

4 minutes ago, Phoenixmama said:

i really want to take some iron and vit d pills but not sure if theres been members who had a up tick in wd symptoms... any help would be appreciated  

Hi  @Phoenixmoma

 

well keeping in mind that I am not a Dr, personally for someone your age  I would get out in the sun for at least 10 mins during the mid day (within 2 hrs each side of noon I think is good but google it to check) as we age, sometimes it's harder for our bodies to convert sunshine to vit D (I am over 67) 

I had no problems with low vit D before menopause, it's only been recently that my level has been low. I don't really go out that much in the sun so I do supplement and I have not had a problem with it at all but  you might, who knows?

 

I am now 5yrs post zero and while sometimes still sensitive to somethings like caffeine, there isn't much that really causes any major problems for me

even with the caffeine, any issues I have with it are minor and clear up fast when I don't drink any tea or coffee for a day or so

 

There's a lot of different opinions about vit D levels, some say the test itself isnt' reliable!

I did have issues with low Vit D such  as depression and extreme fatigue and that went away when my vit D came up to around 35 or so

 

I am going to keep taking vit D since It seems my body has a hard time converting sun to vit D now (and I don't get that much sun, I go out in the early morning before it's too hot or later in the day when the sun is going down- I hate the heat LOL)

it's generally pretty safe as long as you don't  exceed 2000 IU's per day (recommendations vary a lot on this too,  unfortunately}

 

you could try a tiny tiny dose and see how you feel?

or to be safe, just get more sun! 

 

 

 

For iron, I'd try to get that from food if you can before you try taking supplements. Iron supplements are very constipating! 

 

let me know how it goes for you ok?

 

[Happy2Heal]

HAPPY update!!
I was getting ready to have my right knee replaced, but just had the Euflexxa shots and wow what a difference they have made!
I wasn't able to bend my right knee all the way any more nor straighten it out flat either

and now I can do both!!

yesssss!
 

so happy! I don't want surgery and now I hope to be able to put it off for at least another year or so

 

I also started taking hyaluronic oral supplements to see if those help plus some vegan Omega 3

and am upping my intake of anti inflammatory foods as well

 

it is all helping, I didn't think this was possible but I can walk a  lot further without pain again!

OH thank goodness! I live on the 3rd floor so getting the surgery was going to be so complicated and troublesome

 

that's my good news for the day!! and now back to playing with my pet mice!

 

[Happy2Heal]

another happy update!

I saw a neurologist today.

THE short version, I do NOT have any sort of early dementia!! 
I am so so relieved!!

 

now for the longer version: 

I had some issues last summer, short episodes of confusion, loss of balance, disorientation, memory issues etc.

 

These increased and got pretty bad in late November, and then I had other things going on, blood pressure spikes and even worse lightheadedness and some "depression"- I hesitate to call it that, basically I was just waking up crying for no reason I could come up with

 

I had been diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism in Sept and referred to an endocrinologist. He wasn't sure if my HPT was secondary to a low vit D level or possibly early primary HTP and that still has not been figured out...

my Vit D level is going up but my PTH level is still much higher than it should be... so it's 6 more months on Vit D and calcium supplements and then more blood work

 

IN the meantime, as my vit D level came up, a lot of these symptoms went away.  

 

Today  the neurologist did a quick memory test and was able to  rule out dementia. I aced the test- much to my surprise. 

 

She is going to do a sleep deprived EEG and an MRI of my brain and an ultrasound of my carotid artery to rule out stroke and seizure disorder.

 

I think stroke is very low on the list of possibilities, to be honest, due to what I know about my cardiovascular risk (It's VERY VERY low!)

 

but a mild seizure disorder is possible. I don't think that is likely either but may as well rule it out

 

now this is another good thing:
The neurologist said that she's seen many ppl with my same history of polypharmacy and she has seen it cause issues when they stopped (as well as while they are on these drugs) and she totally agrees that the remodeling of the brain that these drugs cause can take quite some time to heal....

 

she said that the symptoms I have are probably a combination of my PTSD and probably some more fine tuning in my brain.
The reason she thinks this is because they were short EPISODES of symptoms.... much more consistent with recovery from these drugs than from a stroke (but a mild seizure disorder can't be ruled out, so we will do testing for that.) Episodes= waves, am I right?!?!   

 

(oh there is also the possibility of long covid, even though I never got a confirmed positive test, I was exposed several times to confirmed cases and I was sick with cough etc last fall.)

 

I do have a tiny infarct in my brain that showed up on a MRR done in 2007 or 2008 and it was very old and thought to be possibly congenital (so IDK some extremely mild brain damage similar to cerebral palsy? I will have to ask her at the follow up)

 

this is wonderful news! I was so worried that I had some permanent damage from those decades of being heavily medicated and I do NOT! 

She said my anxiety about it is probably causing some of the very symptoms that I've been worrying about!

 

She did say I have a complicated case because of my history, the concussions I've had, the hormone issues with the parathyroid, my spinal stenosis and other things, but she seems confident that we can untangle it all. She mentioned something (I forget now what it was, I think vit B12 deficiency?) that can cause symptoms that make it look like you have dementia but once the vit level is corrected, you are fine.

She checked my VIt B12 level taken last Sept and said it's adequate but for better brain health I should aim for higher numbers so I will increase my Vit B12 intake

 

 

 

I am just so relieved to know that I'm not demented! I mean that I don't have even early Alzheimer's.  She was impressed by my vocabulary- funny thing because I used to have a much better vocabulary; I don't read much any more due to vision issues and I feel dumb compared to how sharp I used to be.

 

 

and this is the first doctor who has fully acknowledged the withdrawal syndrome and how long lasting it can be.

 

so it's possible I am still having waves here and there, as my brain finished up on the fine details of healing but trust me, compared to early WD, these waves are more like tiny ripples, laughably easy to cope with, 

IF that is what they indeed are.

 

 

I also went back thru my medical history to 2006 and found out that my first afib episode coincides with the first time I tried to GET OFF LEXAPRO!! that's when I had severe insomnia. 

so I was diagnosed later than I thought, in 2007 and I've only had 5 confirmed episodes and the worst afib episodes were following a CT cut. 

the last episode lasting less than an hour, was 3 years ago, which was when I'd been post zero for 2 yrs

 

no afib since. *knock wood*   

 

Healing is still happening, it seems! 

 

so psyched about this!! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 7, 2023 by Happy2Heal
edited for clarity

[RachelSusan]

@Happy2Heal What great news. Your doctor sounds really wonderful. It's hard to find a doctor that recognizes withdrawal, however I have to say it is happening a little more than it did back in 2016 when I first started having problems. Maybe the medical systems is starting to catch up? I hope so.

[Phoenixmama]

💕

[Happy2Heal]

On 8/7/2023 at 3:08 PM, RachelSusan said:

@Happy2Heal What great news. Your doctor sounds really wonderful. It's hard to find a doctor that recognizes withdrawal, however I have to say it is happening a little more than it did back in 2016 when I first started having problems. Maybe the medical systems is starting to catch up? I hope so.

Yes I think that this site and all of us being empowered to speak our truth about what we've been thru is helping

 

even if only because medicine is more of a business these days and if they don't validate the experiences of their "customers" they may lose them to someone who will....

 

I'm still quite cynical as far as the medical establishment goes. Our current system is set up as a for profit one, and I get that those working within this system really don't have a choice but to try to do what is the most profitable in many if not most cases....

but I hold out hope that we'll get to the point where folks realize that health care should be a right and not a priveledge.

 

 

Yes this dr seemed quite good. She did have a framed certificate for being recognized as a top neuro so that is encouraging.

and she was very pleasant to speak with.

I got a whole hour and we still barely got thru my full history LOL 

 

she seemed esp interested in the anti seizure meds that I was given, I  wanted to ask her if that is a chance that taking anti seizure meds could cause..?? a seizure disorder but I guess I can google that

I am curious why she was so interested and wanted to know the exact doses I was given (which I wouldn't be able to remember anyway) 
Part of me was thinking, does she think I'm stupid and that I have a seizure disorder and that's what I was actually treated for...? see, my cynicism and a bit of paranoia come out when dealing with drs. they have caused so much harm in my life.

 

off to google if lamictal or depakote etc can cause a seizure disorder.........

 

thanks for stopping by @RachelSusan will swing by your thread to see how you're going, hope things have improved for you!!

[Happy2Heal]

interesting I found this about lamictal

 

"

10. Withdrawal seizures

Abruptly stopping Lamictal can increase your risk of seizures. These are called “withdrawal seizures.” This can happen even if you’re taking Lamictal for something other than seizures (like bipolar 1 disorder).

If your healthcare provider recommends stopping Lamictal at any point, they’ll usually lower your dose slowly over a couple of weeks. Make sure to follow your provider’s recommendations for stopping Lamictal. Don’t reduce your dose more quickly than recommended. And don’t stop taking it on your own."
 

I'm sure I was never warned about this, and I think I was cold switched from lamictal to depakote in the hospital once

 

I trusted the drs way too much. For most of the time I had no access to the internet (cuz it hadn't been invented yet lol) but even when I did, I didn't really check things out til I realized that my health was deteriorating as they added more and more meds of all kinds

 

 

live and learn eh?

[Happy2Heal]

I've been trying to lose what I call my "Covid 10" (kind of like the Freshman 10- that 10lbs you gain your first year away at college- or so I've heard) 
I gained 10lbs during covid and have struggled to get it off ever since

 

I have some intense cravings for things like chocolate and this video gave me some ideas:

 

 

 

I like the idea of a MindBus (I've tried mindful eating and that helps a little bit but does not stop cravings. I am far less likely to over eat if I pay attention and don't eat while doing other things BUT if I want something like chocolate, it doesn't matter how full I might be, I'd find room for chocolate! LOL)

I wonder if the MindBus idea would help ppl in Withdrawal?

 

esp with symptoms that involve unhelpful thought patterns such as "this is never going to end" or "things might get worse and then what? I'm barely coping now"  or the one most of us have thought, if not said out load "I can't take one more day/hour/minute of this!"

 

if we're the Driver of the Bus and these thoughts are just passengers, we can continue to direct the bus where we want and ignore those pesky passengers (negative thoughts) or let them off the bus.

 

I am going to start thinking of my cravings this way, as just pesky passengers.

I'll let you know how it goes!

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

just stumbled across this on YouTube

 

 

 

as well as this- haven't watched the whole thing but it sounds good as far as I've gotten into it:

 

I don't know who these 2 guys are but I think it's very encouraging that more and more folks are discussing this opening and having the truth of how difficult it is to get off these drugs out there and accepted 

 

it's the kind of validation we've all been praying for and it seems it's starting to finally happen.

 

yessssssss

Edited August 11, 2023 by Happy2Heal

[modelarz71]

Psychiatrists must see people in WD, and they must be intelligent, but why pretend that there is no problem. One told me of my IBS symptoms in WD that I hadn't had before that it was from age. IBS is intestinal neurosis I got it in WD I eat prunes,  probiotics just wondering if it will pass without max doses of esci...without it it wouldn't be bad. Lately I've only been watching Columbo on TV because I'm non-functional. It's hard to function with a sore stomach for a month or longer
 

[Happy2Heal]

3 hours ago, modelarz71 said:

Psychiatrists must see people in WD, and they must be intelligent, but why pretend that there is no problem

I think it's because their focus is trying to "help" by giving out prescriptions, they have little or no experience in de prescribing

the same can be said of medical drs these days as well...

 

 

they see what they want to see. It's not really in their interest to see that the drugs they thought were helpful and safe are so difficult to get off of.

 

I know it's hard but if you just give it time, your digestive system will almost surely sort itself out

I know it's hard to wait but it really shouldn't take too long

 

if you go back on the drug, you may have to start this all over again and go thru the same thing later,

assuming that your goal is still to get off the drug

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

 

[Happy2Heal]

random notes:

 

I read a book when I was going thru WD about sleep, well, a couple of books really lol

I recall that one of them said that sleep is a primary need, like breathing, I believe... your body is just going to do it, because it has to in order to survive. Good to know!

I found a GREAT deal of comfort in this because there were times during WD recovery when It felt like I had not slept at all

 

I could not feel myself falling asleep. There were days when it felt like I had not slept at all

but because of what I'd read,I comforted myself knowing that my body was likely having micro sleeps even though I wasn't aware of them.

 

 

well, I recently got confirmation that this is indeed true

I had a "sleep deprived EEG" done (not exactly sure why the neuro ordered it tbh)

You can't sleep the day before, you can't have any caffeine and the most you are allowed to sleep is from 1 am to 5 am the night before the test Basically they want you to be as sleep deprived as you can manage to be.

I only slept for one hr from 9 to 10 pm the night before and for one hour the morning of the test, from around 7 am to 8 am I think it was

Whatever, it was only a total of 2 hrs.

the test was not til after noon!!
 

so by the time I got there, I was tired!

 

I got hooked up and it went well... Only lasted a total of maybe 30 mins 

I did feel like I might have been starting to drift off to sleep at one point and mentioned that to the tech after we were done.

 

a few day later I got the results:

 

to my surprise, according to my brain waves, I fell asleep TWICE!

the report didn't mention for how long but as far as I knew, I never fell asleep at all,

just felt like I MIGHT eventually...

 

I still have some trouble with sleep even now, once in awhile,  but If I go back thru my whole life, I have pretty much never slept esp. well, traumatic childhood and all that

 

when heavily medicated on psych meds, I would sleep a lot depending on the drugs I was given but otherwise, 

I could fall asleep easily but not stay asleep

 

If I go to bed intent on getting right to sleep, that will NOT happen.

If I lay down and want to read or watch tv or a YT video, I will fall asleep quickly LOL
 

when I wake up about 60 to 90 mins later, sometimes I  am surprised at the time because it doesn't feel like I slept at all!!!

Other times I am surprised because I slept so well, I  was sure I'd been asleep all night!

 

so sleep is a funny thing.

 

those are my less than profound thoughts on the subject LOL

 

all I know is that I get as much sleep as I feel I need or want and I'm happy about that 

 

please know if you're in WD now you will almost surely get to this place as well

 

 

Edited August 31, 2023 by Happy2Heal

[Angus]

Happy2Heal-

I’ve been reading through your posts and your positivity and strength give so much encouragement to me!