jaxlin: protracted withdrawal

[jaxlin]

Hello

 

I am new to this site so not sure what I'm doing! Was wondering if anyone out there is experiencing symptoms after 3 years? 1184 days off antidepressants and still suffering with depression and anxiety. I just keep thinking it might be better tomorrow. I can deal with the physical symptoms, though they have improved, but the insomnia and emotional feelings are still a problem. some days worse than others but always there. 

 

Edited November 4, 2018 by ChessieCat
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[ChessieCat]

Hi jaxlin and welcome to SA,

 

Unfortunately what you are experiencing is not uncommon.  We have many members here experiencing or have experienced the same thing.

 

You might find this topic helpful:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

 

To help us out please create your drug signature.  This allows us to see your history at a glance.  This will appear below each of your posts and makes it easy for us to see your drug history at a glance.  Please make it nice simple by following these instructions NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you):

•  dates, ALL drugs, doses   PLEASE INCLUDE HOW YOU STOPPED YOUR DRUG (did you taper or cold turkey)

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The only supplements which SA recommends are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil.  Try a small amount of each, one at a time to see how you respond.

 

You might find these helpful:

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.  

 

 

This is your own Introductions topic where you can ask questions and journal your progress.  We encourage members to visit other members' topics so they can support each other through their recovery.

[JackieDecides]

Hi @jaxlin 

 

I'm glad you found this place and hope you post more. 

 

Jackie

[JackieDecides]

@jaxlin how have you been feeling?

[jaxlin]

Hi Jackie

 

Thank you for your post.

 

Not been good over Christmas and new year but have improved over the last week or two. I have taken advice from this site and cut out most of the supplements I was taking, I must have tried everything over the last three years- big mistake I think- anyway just having magnesium and have found serrapeptase really helps with the aches  and sinus issues. I managed a five hour sleep last night which is good for me, often lucky to get two hours together.

 

I think this must be a window! my communication is non-existent normally.

 

I hope you are doing better also, you sound like a kind person who deserves to be well.

 

Sorry for my late response

jaxlin

 

 

[JackieDecides]

3 hours ago, jaxlin said:

I think this must be a window! my communication is non-existent normally.

 

yay for a window!!

 

some times when I think "I feel terrible, am I even getting better?" I remember when I first found this place and posting was SO hard. just putting together coherent sentences and then having to edit and then looking back and realizing how stupid I sounded. 

apparently, writing is hard!  now, even when I feel bad I can still write. 

 

at least you are making changes and in a window. 

 

what is the weather like in Yorkshire? I picture clouds and rain. 

[Carmie]

Hi jacklin, 

 

Great to hear you’ve had a few good weeks. Yes, it’s amazing how different supplements can affect us during withdrawals. I’m glad you got rid of the ones that were affecting you. Most of us are so sensitive to lots of supplements.

 

I take serrapeptase as well, it’s helped me a lot with a health issue. I’m glad it’s helping you too. I don’t know if it could have adverse affects in withdrawals, but I’ve never had a problem with it. It sounds like it’s benefiting you too. Do you take it with nattokinese? The two work together symbiotically.

 

Wishing you all the best on your continued recovery.💚

[jaxlin]

Jackie I think I may have spoken too soon, came back down with a bump, now wondering if withdrawal happens after stopping supplements as well...though less severe.

 

The weather in Yorkshire changes as often as my symptoms, by the hour sometimes, today we had bright sunshine and wind, I'm always hyper-sensitive to bright flickering sunlight and feel calmer on a dull cloudy day, is that just me?

 

I hope things are easier for you now.

 

Hi Carmie

 

Thank you for your reply.

 

I Wouldn't be without serrapeptase I usually take it when I wake at least once through the night. I have noticed the nattokinese but not tried it yet  will look at it next time I need to buy some.

 

Thanks again and best wishes to you all

[JackieDecides]

On 2/7/2019 at 2:08 PM, jaxlin said:

I'm always hyper-sensitive to bright flickering sunlight and feel calmer on a dull cloudy day, is that just me?

 

it isn't me, but everyone is different. and we are changing, also, as I used to think snow was beautiful but after two days of frightening winter driving this week, the snow this morning is making me worry about driving tomorrow. ☹️

[Carmie]

Hi Jaxlin, 

 

(Autocorrect keeps wanting to change your name😄). Just curious as to why you take the Serrapeptase during the night when you wake up? Is it just for the fact that you have an empty stomach then? 

 

Yes, our symptoms can certainly change from hour to hour, or minute to minute. Kind of like the weather in Melbourne, Australia.

 

Take care💚

[jaxlin]

Hi Carmie

 

Yes the night time seemed the safest to take serrapeptase well away from food. I use it  as an anti-inflammatory alternative and found it really helped with muscle pain and so aid sleep, for a while anyway. I haven't tried to do without it yet, maybe I will and see if it makes a difference to other symptoms.

 

Insomnia is the worst, if we could cure that it would help with all the other symptoms I think.....

 

best wishes from a wet Yorkshire  

 

 

[JackieDecides]

59 minutes ago, jaxlin said:

Insomnia is the worst, if we could cure that it would help with all the other symptoms I think.....

 

 

something that is really helping me get through my current anxiety is knowing I had bad insomnia last...November, I think - and I got through it. 

 

so I am hoping it's the same with anxiety - it's awful but eventually it goes away. I  have to not fight it and keep on going to work regardless.  with mixed success but that's better than no success! 

 

 

[jaxlin]

Hi Jackie good to hear that you managed to get over insomnia, just to know it's possible helps.

 

If you can beat insomnia you can beat anxiety and will be stronger for it in the end..... have to keep telling myself 'if it doesn't kill me it'll make me stronger'

 

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

jaxlin

[Carmie]

Hi Jaxlin, 

 

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with insomnia. Sometimes it’s just time that is the healer. Do you have a good routine of going to bed at the same time every night even if you can’t sleep? Is your room darkened? Have you tried magnesium? ChessieCat will send you some links. 

 

So you found the serrapeptase helped you sleep a bit because it eased your muscle pain. Is it not easing your muscle pain anymore? 

 

Well seeing your are in wet Yorkshire, I’ll send you some sun from sunny Queensland ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️😎

[ChessieCat]

tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-that-awful-withdrawal-insomnia

 

[jaxlin]

Thanks Carmie it's not so much the muscle pain anymore, it's anxiety that wakes me sometimes after only an hour or two... though it has improved since stopping the many supplements I was taking.

 

After years of not being able to stay awake when on anti-depressants I now consider four/five hours a good night.

 

Got the sunshine. Just having the warmest sunniest February on record.

 

Thanks Chessie will take a look at your tips now!

[Carmie]

Hi Jaxlin, 

 

How has your sleeping been this week? I’m glad stopping all your supplements has helped a bit. I tried taking magnesium once and it really ramped up my symptoms. I haven’t been game enough to try another type as yet. A lot of people do really well on magnesium, but the one I took didn’t like me.😁

 

Take care💚

[jaxlin]

Hi Carmie

 

I have followed Chessie's advice using white noise, eye mask, cool room etc. have tried melatonin in the past but it didn't seem to help me. Sleep varies depending on what's going on, the slightest upset stays with me for hours. I listened to a podcast by Trudy Scott about Gaba, she suggested supplementing may help with sleep so have been taking a small amount over the last 3 nights - it seems to be helping but too soon to know for sure.....

 

Thanks for asking I appreciate it!!!

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Jaxlin, 

 

I’m glad you’re sleeping a bit better.💚

Edited March 8, 2019 by Carmie
Typo

[Leo1983]

@jaxlin

 

How are you?

[Carmie]

Hi Jaxlin, 

 

Yes, how are you doing? How is your insomnia?

 

Sending hugs🤗

[jaxlin]

Hi Leo

 

Still not out of the woods but coping better with symptoms, or learning to live with them.

 

I have felt almost normal for the last eighteen months but only because the whole world has been isolating..... (my normal) making it easier for me to get out with fewer people around. I haven't been afraid of the virus-maybe withdrawal has made us stronger!

 

Just by typing this shows an improvement I would not have been able to do this two years ago.

 

Thankyou for asking, I hope you are well and improving too.

 

jaxlin xx

 

 

 

 

[jaxlin]

Hi Carmie

 

Thanks for your message. 

 

My sleep has imroved over the last six months, after trawling through pages and pages on this sight and trying many different remedies people have suggested, I came across taurine and cautiously gave it a try. I noticed  a gradual improvement maybe getting two hours, then four and now five or six on a good night.....don't think I'll ever get back to twelve hours though when on the pills.

 

Many thanks again to you and SA for all your valuable information.

 

Hugs

jaxlin

[MtSnow]

Hi Jaxlin,

 

Your storyline is similar to mine and was encouraging to read.  Like most people in our situation, I look for posts that have similar backgrounds and symptoms.  The insomnia, depression and anxiety still plaque me after two years off meds.  I will have some windows, usually short lived.   Nearly every night I wake with an intense array of baseless negative emotions (heart palpitations, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, etc.)  How have your mornings been and do you still experience depression and anxiety?  

 

Thanks for posting

Snow

[jaxlin]

Hi Snow

 

So sorry to hear of your suffering, insomnia makes all other symptoms worse. I remember well the dread of night time, endless hours ruminating and trying to understand what was going on - SA helped me realise the cause and motivated me to get well, having no appetite I make sure what I eat is healthy, I take a multivitamin and mineral mornings-75mg aspirin and 250mg of Taurine at night, I often manage 4 hours, aching muscles wake me then I take serrapeptase which usually gives another 2 hours sleep. Mornings are still my worst time, like you the anxiety, guilt, shame racing heart - it seems to be common amongst survivors, I push myself to get up on waking and tend to feel better afternoon/evening.

 

Depression is less of a problem now I feel more in control things are gradually improving, I never thought they would so don't give up hope! 

 

I haven't seen a doctor in 6 years don't trust medicine anymore. Current worldwide circumstances is probably making anxiety worse for all of us I think.

 

I hope you soon feel better I'm sure you will!

jaxlin

 

 

 

 

 

   

[MtSnow]

Hi Jaxlin,

 

Thanks for the note.  I think you mentioned in one of your earlier posts that the depression and anxiety (along with insomnia) are the worst symptoms.  This is the same for me and makes life unbearable.  I'm two years off all meds and the waves of depression and anxiety still cripple my ability to function.  I wish there was something or someone that could help (and I've tried a bunch) but it seems that the only thing that will help is time.    

[lookingrelief]

I am new here too. I am surring from protracted withdraw from quitting zoloft cold turkey sept 2020.  Insomnia, weight loss, IBS all started this past June. I was doing ok before June, then bam.

Have major corisol spikes that keep me from sleeping.

Help

[jaxlin]

Yes Snow I think you're right time is the main healer. I also believe that our body heals itself given the chance. i hope you have a better day today....jaxlin  

[MtSnow]

Hi Jax and Relief,

 

Thanks Jax,

 

Relief; from your signature it seems like you are still on meds and trying to taper.  SA has very sound counsel on how to taper that lessens the intensity of the side affects and can shorten your time to heal.   Some of the veteran moderators can help you in this process.  The nice thing about SA is that we speak a language that only we seem to be able to truly understand.  The language of withdrawal from psychotropic medications.  

 

Blessings to you in your healing!

[lookingrelief]

No I am not on a taper. I quit 25 mg Zoloft cold turkey back in Sept. 2020.  I did not know about tapering. I jsut took myself off of it. I did not feel bad until the end of June 2021.  I am so confused. From everything I have read here, I should have been having withdrawl symptoms sooner. Maybe because I had been on the drug for so long, it took that much time to show itself. But here it is and it is rough.  I have had some really scary days recently.

[MtSnow]

Hi Relief,

 

I'm sure and sorry to hear about the intensity of your symptoms.  It just absolutely sucks.  When I was at zero quality of life, I would be told by support mentors that withdrawal will not kill me and I will heal - we just don't know how long it will take.  For me, the "it won't kill you" statement wasn't encouraging because I didn't want to live another second in the emotional state.   Withdrawal from psychotropic drugs (PD) can create some confusing, bizarre and intense symptoms as we both know.  I listened to an expert on PD withdrawal and she said the withdrawal from PD "can" be more severe and intense than withdrawal from psychoactive drugs (i.e. heroine, cocaine, opioids).  In my situation and many others I have read about ... this is an understatement.  From my interactions and readings, CT (cold turkey) "can" create more intense withdrawal symptoms.  In addition, it is not uncommon to have delayed symptoms in withdrawal.  I emphasize "can" because it is not the case for everyone.

 

Praying for "relief" :), windows, a speedy recovery and complete healing. 

 

Last, I don't know your whole story but when you are feeling able, it would be good to post your drug and taper history and tell more about your situation so moderators can give you some tools to help you through this process of healing.  You do this in the "Introduce Yourself" section.

[lookingrelief]

So from all that I have been learning, stay the course is the preferred option.  I just don't know if I will be able to endure this for months on end. Its crazy to me that I really did not have any noticeable symptoms for 9 months then the worst of the worst symptoms hit me. I am starting to feel a little depression creep in now too. I am seriously considering that I might have to get back on meds, but the stories I have read are really scary. I don't want to risk feeling worse for a longer period of time AND then have to withdraw all over again. 

I have been using Benadryl for sleep the last few nights and I know that I cant keep doing that for much longer. This is pure torture.

I really don't know what to think.   I have almost 1 year of no medication under my belt and I would hate for that to be all for nothing. But I feel I am losing myself to this.

[Marta]

@lookingrelief

Mine were very mild after stopping the drug. I had months of well being. The hell (i am still in) stared at 13 months off. Crazy cruel.

But i know is wd as i feel exactly the same in a past attempt. This is NOT my pre ads condition

 

 

@jaxlin may i ask you about the appetite? I have zero. Did it come back for you at least in windows?

[lookingrelief]

@Marta How long have you been without medication at this point in time? I have no appitite, but force myself to eat. I have lost too much weight. Down to 88 lbs. The cortisol spikes cause most of the trouble. Insomnia, anxiety, IBS, diareaha, high blood pressure. Trying to keep that under conrtol is proving difficult. I dont feel I can last too much longer. I have a tele health appointment with a phyc dr. on the 17th.  I am scared to get back on meds, but I am scared if I dont.

 

[Marta]

@lookingrelief many thanks for the answer.

I am 16 months off, i had a mild wd immediately off escitalopram and now a very delayed severe wd wave. I am in hell since 8weeks.

 Insomnia is the only thing that got a bit better after 5 weeks, i am doing a very strict schedule and take 0.5mg melatonin.

Did you tired it?

But the sleep is surely agitated.

For the rest i have all what you have copy and paste.

Anxiety, depression, heart rate disregulated, total loss of appetite, total inability to access to good emotions (zero windows), morning terror, fatigue, sometimes reslessnes, yes also diarrhea (this syntmom is one of the least annoying), full acne that i never had (idc). The sexual side totally numb, I don't even think about it in these conditions.

 

I also don't feel i can last longer. I was hoping to see windows but it's "thick" if i can give you an idea with this term.

No afternoon/evening relief as many people here.

 

I really don't want to go back however i am desperate as you and i considered it. What holds me is that i don't want to go through this again and again, because I am very prone to this bad withdrawals even with micro dose i cannot escape.

 

Sorry if I don't have a good tip, just i totally completely relate. If you want let me(us) know about your decision after seeing the doctor.

All the best.

[jaxlin]

Hi Marta

 

Like you I often don't want to eat, so I make soups or smoothies to get some nutrition when I can't face a meal, I think of it as a medicine that will help with healing. I do have some good days now so it will improve for you as well. I know that's hard to believe when in the thick of it though......hope you feel better soon. jaxlin