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Tom37

Tom37: Lexapro taper

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eymen23

Hi Tom,

 

Sounds like you've got the right attitude. Everyone is different and sometimes it’s best to see what happens and slowly create our own story, especially when these worst case scenarios can be triggering and can enhance the risk of bad sleep etc. 

 

Glad you’ve been having some relief at times, it all sounds positive, even if it doesn’t feel that way. 

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Tom37

That’s guys....yeah definitely a far better day today physically which is great.

 

i try not to read other threads other than success stories and those who follow me.

 

Everyone is unique your right in their journey. 

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Carmie

Hi Tom, 

 

I’m sorry you’re having such difficult days. Are you still sleeping downstairs? Is the aircon making things a bit more comfortable for you? I have aircon in my bedroom, just one of those ones you can stick in a window. I don’t know what I’d do without my aircon here in Queensland. The humidity can get so high, and I definitely need it on to sleep. 

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

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Tom37

So another day done.....

 

Felt a lot better physically today. At times when at my desk or driving felt my normal self so that was nice. When walking though still felt a bit ‘wobbly’ or body out of sync type feeling which was annoying. Mainly feel it in the legs. But today no headache at all, no hint of bone pain or flu type feeling or anything else so that was good.

 

Mentally was bit hard to start with but I’m not a morning person at any time so if it is ever going to be hard it’s then. Was just tired and fed up of dealing with this I guess which I’m sure is normal.

 

So work was fine today and went for a gentle walk along the ocean afterwards before quick supermarket trip then home.

 

Hopefully this ‘improvement’ keeps up. Have had the ‘wobbly’ feeling through out on and off and before the last window it just gradually eased until it went so hopefully the same could happen here.

 

Anyway I’m assuming having better days with far less physical symptoms is a good sign...hopefully anyway!

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Tom37

Another 5 or so hours last night. Actually went to sleep a lot quicker which was good. But another hot night but getting more use to it now.

 

Feel quite good again today. The wobbly out of sync feeling is still there but minor or not even there. Do have a little of an aching feeling in joints that is under the surface but it’s minor compared to previously and hopefully stays that way.

 

Mentally felt a lot better this morning and basically feel like normal in that regard so far.

 

So hopefully another better day ahead.

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DaveB
45 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

Another 5 or so hours last night. Actually went to sleep a lot quicker which was good. But another hot night but getting more use to it now.

 

Feel quite good again today. The wobbly out of sync feeling is still there but minor or not even there. Do have a little of an aching feeling in joints that is under the surface but it’s minor compared to previously and hopefully stays that way.

 

Mentally felt a lot better this morning and basically feel like normal in that regard so far.

 

So hopefully another better day ahead.

 

This is great Tom, sounds like you are really starting to stabilize.

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mdwstrx

Glad to hear!  What a positive post.  We will get there!🙂

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Tom37

Thanks guys.....I don’t know about stabilising yet but hopefully I’m done with the horrible flu type feeling that nails me....time will tell.

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RachelSusan

Tom,

This is really good news. Yes, fingers crossed for continued improvement.

Rachel

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WarriorWomanLV

Tom, you have such a great attitude. I have no doubt in my mind you will be a fast healer. I'm wishing you even more improvements! 

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Tom37

Another day done almost......

 

Felt pretty good again today with just the wobbly/out of sync feeling happening but nothing too bad and bit of an underlying ache which is felt in top of knees and neck only. In the neck does make the head feel like a minor headache but it was very tolerable and came and went. 

 

So work was fine and sitting at my desk I almost felt normal physically apart from the neck/head. Mentally felt like my old self which was great.

 

i think getting back into the office and working normally has been good for me so hopefully the symptoms will allow that to continue.

 

Also went and got a haircut, supermarket and a small gentle walk by the ocean. Tend to do these things when feeling better and get everything in place in case I get really ill again so I can relax as much as I need to. Sounds like small things but when your in the midst of this they can be really tough to do.

 

So another good day had and hopefully another tomorrow. 

 

Still working on accepting this situation and trying to live life while in wd. Would love to be able to get through this without losing anything major such as my job so that is the focus. 

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Tom37

So another good day today. No aching anywhere at all and the wobbly/out of sync feeling is minimal.

 

Mentally feel pretty good apart from the dealing with this situation etc.

 

Sitting at work now and feel nearly normal I think.

 

Had another decent night...even though it was very hot.......between 5 and 6 hours sleep....actually slept 4 hours straight instead of waking every two....finally getting use to having windows open.....Do have deep sleep though so always feel alright in the morning. But have never slept through the night since starting this drug 11 years ago. Before that slept through every night for 6 to 8 hours.

 

Of to beach after work for a bit of a gentle walk as very warm today.

 

 

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RachelSusan

Great news. I'm so happy for you.

Rachel

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nick1990

Good to hear Tom . You’ll get there mate . 

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Tom37

Thanks guys.....

 

So today was another good day physically with only real symptom being the very reduced wobbly/out of sync feeling. Other than that felt good....no aching at all...no headache...no flu feeling. Actually felt weird feeling so good at work at my desk.

 

Still had the odd moment of ‘will this ever end’ ‘will I go backward again etc’ but do my best to challenge those thoughts.

 

Managed to actually get out of office at 1pm so went out to beach as another hot day here. Water was beautiful but no swimming yet....don’t want to do anything to ruin how I’m doing. 

 

So another good/better day....hopefully it means I’m on the right track but I guess time will tell.

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WarriorWomanLV

So happy for you! Trust these good days!

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Tom37

Feeling good again so far today. Even the wobbly/out of sync feeling is pretty much not even there. No aching or flu etc. Still don’t feel like I’m ‘normal’ but very close.

 

If I hadn’t had gone through all the other symptoms and been so ill and know how bad it can get then would probably feeling way more better mentally as in more optimistic and not as afraid of what’s to come. Hopefully though these far better days continue and if that happens will then give me some confidence that all will eventually be ok.

 

Was hottest night last night of the summer but still managed about 4.5/5 hours sleep. Was hot and windy so not a nice night! No air con in room....always makes me feel better when ‘normal’ people in the office say how poorly they are sleeping or not even sleeping on these hot nights.

 

Probably head out to beach again after work to cool down.

 

 

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eymen23

Hi Tom,

 

I’m so glad you’re experiencing some relief! Enjoy the beach! 

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Tom37

Another day towards getter better gone.

 

Generallt a good day. The wobbly/out of sync feeling did show up at times but quite minor. It’s just annoying as it makes me feel a bit nervous when I’m not....but that was really the only symptom. Have allergies at the moment so think that is making the head feel little weird at times but could be the wd....it’s minor though.

 

Did have bit of a average start mentally once got to work. Just the usually doubting will ever get properly over this....won’t improve anymore....so what is the point in it all......don’t make me anxious or anything just bring  your mood down a bit. Those thoughts went during the morning and had a good day. Beach was beautiful.....and thankfully meant to cool down a bit later on.

 

Anyway managed 5 days in the office without any issues so that was really good. That felt like a dream with how terrible i was on Thurs/Fri/sat/ last week. Hopefully continue to stay feeling a lot better but who knows what will happen which is the hardest part about this.

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mdwstrx

So glad to hear things are going so well for you Tom!  How wonderful to feel almost normal again!  Gives me hope in this wave I'm in now.  Prayers that this continues for you! 🙏

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Tom37

Thanks mate....

 

Another decent sleep although still not normal....keep waking up after couple of hours but is good sleep and got about 5 or 6 hours last night plus managed to fall back asleep after 5am.

 

Feel good again today...not ‘normal’ but definitely way better. The weather giving us a break from the heat today which is nice and very welcomed....currently raining!

 

Ive never ever had allergies in January before so wondering if it’s because I’m now so low on ad dose or possibly wd? I use to get it bad in the spring in the uk and in the summer in various states of America but never in NZ so interesting....but thankfully it is minor...just eczema type rash and bit of a feeling in nose/head.

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ChessieCat

I can't find any information about it but I'm fairly certain that ADs have an antihistamine effect and as our dose gets lower then we lose that so our allergies can increase.

 

One member's experience who didn't previously have allergies:  allergies-and-overactive-immune-system

 

And I've read of other members having issues too.

Edited by ChessieCat

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eymen23

Interestingly Chessie,

 

One of the differences between Citalopram and Escitalopram, is that Citalopram is a stronger histamine receptor antagonist than Escitalopram. Some articles I’ve read say it’s roughly 6x stronger in respect this action.

 

In theory one should have less of a rebound from Escitalopram in respect of histamine/allergies, but the action does still exist.

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Tom37

Thanks guys.....it’s not bad allergies so no issues but just something to think about I guess.

 

Another good day today. Didn’t get up to much just some work, went for a walk then  caught up with parents.

 

Felt really good apart from the minor wobbly feeling which I think is starting to settle but will wait and see. Was actually really good mentally as well about the situation so that was good. So 6 better days in a row and day 6 was better than most of them...maybe even the best so see what happens tomorrow.

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mdwstrx

Tom, I'm so happy for you.  Glad to hear that things are going so good!  

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DaveB
13 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Thanks guys.....it’s not bad allergies so no issues but just something to think about I guess.

 

Another good day today. Didn’t get up to much just some work, went for a walk then  caught up with parents.

 

Felt really good apart from the minor wobbly feeling which I think is starting to settle but will wait and see. Was actually really good mentally as well about the situation so that was good. So 6 better days in a row and day 6 was better than most of them...maybe even the best so see what happens tomorrow.

 

Tom, I am very happy for you. What a great update! Do you ever get anxiety during withdrawals, or are your symptoms purely physical?

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Tom37

Thanks guys......

 

Things definitely better but still dealing with this whole process which at times does get me a bit down....not depressed just annoyed, frustrated etc....especially as this good could be just a ‘good period’ and could be back to suffering soon. I think I need a few weeks/month of being ‘better’  to truly believe I’m getting through it. It’s different compared to the two previous windows as in them I felt completely symptom free where now while I’m heaps better but still not quite normal....probably feel about 80 percent or maybe even more at the moment......don’t know what this means but I’m hoping it means symptoms are just slowly dissolving over time and no more horrible waves to come.

 

My symptoms have always been about 90 percent physical. I have had two periods when I did get a little bit of ‘chemical anxiety’ but it was very minor and only lasted a few days. It would just come over me randomly throughout the day. I have also had the odd day of short periods of feeling like I want to cry but that hasn’t happened for a while now. I know both where from the drug/wd as felt completely foreign to me. 

 

Anyway it’s 7am here so time to get up and get of this phone.

 

 

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Tom37

So another good/better day.....wobbly/out of sync feeling coming and going and seemed to be gone this afternoon....even when goes still feel a little ‘off’ but that’s minor in the scheme of things.

 

Did some garden work this morning then into town for a bit the out to the beach with the wife....now time to relax.

 

Mentally felt normal other than the thoughts about getting better etc but those while annoying are manageable....just make me a bit grumpy sometimes.

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Tom37

Still feeling the same as I have over the last 7 days with some days better than others....sleep is frustrating as seem to sleep for two to three hours only then wake then sleep for another couple hours then wake then another hour then that’s almost it.....plenty of dreams and seems like deep sleep just wish I could get it back to how it was before all this started.

 

The wobbly/out of sync/shaky feeling is still the main physical symptom i have which is so frustrating because if that went would be 90 percent. Surly it must go at some point like all the others!

 

Eveb though it’s been 8 days now of ‘far better’ days get scared I will either go backwards soon or get ‘stuck’ as I am so that thinking is s constant battle.

 

Dont think I have any mental symptoms at he moment but maybe some of the fear I have is down to wd.

 

Was definitely a ‘had enough of this situation’ morning this morning.

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Tom37

Another night like I have been having but did sleep 3 hours straight before waking....symptoms still basically he same as they have been and wax and wane during the day. Head actually feels better today than it has done even though it was minor. Just the shaky/wobbly feeling still hindering me physically.

 

Trying to remain positive as have seen improvements all the way along this journey but still struggle with the getting stuck or going backwards thoughts. 

 

Patience has never been my strong point so that makes this hard but am doing my best with it.

 

If the shaky/wobbly feeling would just go then would really give me hope. It’s like my body is trying to ‘normalise’ with how it feels but hasn’t quite got there yet.

 

 

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mdwstrx

So glad to hear this is another day that is good for you. 🙂 

I know that shaky/wobbly feeling.  Having it myself today.  Also having the exact same sleep pattern. Weird. 

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Tom37

Thanks.....yeah the sleeping patten is weird and frustrating but at least sleeping I guess....the internal wobbly/shaky feeling is my nemesis at the moment. Would love to hear if others have had it and it resolved. Seems to be a constant thing for me.

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RachelSusan

Hi Tom,

 

I am the queen of the internal tremors and trembling.  Ask me anything you want about them.

 

They stink. They stink to high heaven. For me they were the last to leave and the first of my symptoms to return whenever I taper.  I can't say they cause any sort of sharp pain but in their own way they are painful. Yes they did resolve but as I said, they come back every once in a while just to be mean.

 

Hang in there Tom.


Warm wishes,

Rachel

 

 

 

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Tom37

Thanks guys....it’s kinda a hard ‘feeling’ to describe....I generally don’t feel it when sitting or lying down just when moving. It’s like my body is a bit out of sync and makes me feel a little wobbly/shaky but I’m not actually wobbly/shaky if that makes sense....some days are better than others but it never goes. 

 

Anyway even though symptoms still the same ones I’ve been having on these far better days, today they where a little more pronounced in certain ways. But mentally have found it a hard day. Just can’t get the thought in my head that this will get better and even when I do I just can’t believe it. Maybe it’s wd causing it as I’m usually very good at controlling my thoughts. Even though all other symptoms have come and  gone today my mind is determined that they are here forever and I’m stuck. Then I think what is the point of everything if this is it? 

 

Also had weird random memories about things before I even started taking this medication....completely out of the blue. They werent horrible but just weird that it happened. Was like my mind was teasing me about how good life use to be before starting the drugs and now.

 

Dont know if anyone else feels this but I can definitely tell there is wd and then there is me. It’s like one part of me is my normal self but wd is along for the ride getting in the way. 

 

Just to finish of my wonderful day (not) I now have to go to the dentist for a check up. Definitely no injections of anything for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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SkyStreamer
22 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

Thanks guys....it’s kinda a hard ‘feeling’ to describe....

 

Hi Tom37,

 

Sorry to hear that you had a rough day.

 

Just curious: do you find Mondays more challenging than other days? If you are off on the weekends, going back to work on the Monday could expose you to more triggers. Just a thought, though maybe your circumstances are totally different.

 

On a different note, I have recently been tapering off Lexapro (a bit too much and too fast before I recently discovered this site!). And, I noticed during my WD waves that I also had some strange memories surface from like 20 or 30 years ago. Never thought about them in the last long time. And, I wasn't even thinking about anything that was even mildly related to these memories. Just shot out of nowhere. My theory was that by reducing our dose, a lot of things begin to surface in us, which the higher doses were helping to numb or temporarily bury. Hurt. Pain. Worries. Fears. And, I would also include memories here. I reduced 3 times in the past, and each time I seemed to experience these things coming to the surface. They all seemed to come at different times. But they all came within the same period after tapering. 

 

Not sure if this might help at all. Just thought I'd reach out nevertheless and share my thoughts and experiences. 

 

Hope you get some relief tomorrow and throughout the rest of the week!

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