Mimi79 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Hi @Tom37 4 hours ago, Tom37 said: Just need to work on the fear that I may have lost my ability to sleep! I know this kind of thoughts, this is how I started to take ADs for the first time, 12 years ago. I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to sleep for the rest of my life! I was so afraid! After, my GP put me on Mirtazapine. My sleep improved, but this fear was still in me. And I was now convinced that I would always need pills to get some sleep. Last year, I did on my own a CBT based therapy for insomnia, « sleep restriction therapy ». This therapy is the best for insomnia. It works very well! It helped me a lot. Most important, it has helped me to get rid of my fear of « never be able to sleep anymore ». I just don’t believe this thought anymore. I know that even if I have few bad nights in a row, one night I will finally sleep, it is 100% sure! There is still few tips that I’ve learned in this therapy: 1. I always wake up at the same exact time everyday, even if I haven’t sleep a lot (this is how we recalibrate our biological clock). 2. I take time to relax and avoid screens 2 hours before bed. 3. I never take naps during the day, even if I’m tired. And if I really can’t help it, no more than 15-30 minutes. 4. And the most important, if after 30 minutes in my bed I don’t sleep at night, I get up and do some relaxing activities until I feel some sleepiness. I know when WD symptoms are causing insomnia, it could be more difficult to apply those tips. But I think it can still help a bit. And just knowing that there is some ways to naturally recover a normal sleep pattern can lower the insomnia anxiety. Hope it helps! Take care and don’t give up! Mimi 2008-Today: various ADs, benzos and seroquel , initially for Anxiety Related Insomnia. (Absolutely no other mental issues than simple Insomnia!). Numerous W/D and C/T of those meds. During those years, my GP diagnosed me with GAD, Depression, etc... It was all W/D related, I know now! Fall of 2019, after too fast attempt to taper Mirtazapine, put myself in full blown W/D. February 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization. February 2021, I stupidly used some Ativan prn to cope with Mirtazapine W/D symptoms (By far worst mistake of all my life!!). Became accidentally and rapidly addicted (within 2-3 weeks). Started taper immediately. Actual medication: Mirtazapine: 40,0mg - holding- Ativan Taper: Started at 0,29mg march 2021, 03-28 0.28mg/ 04-08 0.27mg/ 04-26 0.25mg/ (...) 10-29 0.18mg/ 04-05-22 0.17mg/ 08-25-22 0.16mg/ 09-15-22 0.15mg/ 10-22-22 0.14mg/…/ 01-12-2023 0.11mg /07-02-2024 switch to 1mg Valium / 14-02-2024 0,9mg Valium. Supplements: Omega-3, Probiotic. Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Share Posted July 3, 2020 Thanks @Mimi79 I’m glad you found cbt treatment so helpful. I did a lot myself and always use it for all situations including this one. It’s just the wd thoughts that are so powerful. When I’m out of this wave I know I’ll look back and think what on earth was I thinking believing those thoughts. Just got to get through it first and appreciate any tips for doing that. 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Mimi79 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 @Tom37 I understand. Intrusive thoughts are my worst WD symptoms. And now, it is almost the only one left. I can be few weeks without them, but when they come back, I still suffer! I have a lot of difficulties to accept them, even if I know I have to. My intrusive thoughts are so weird and awful, I can believe my brain is able to create them! They are totally alien. I know I have to accept them and avoid what is triggering them. I know that when I’m more stressful or tired, I’m prone to them. It’s not an easy ride! Take care! 2008-Today: various ADs, benzos and seroquel , initially for Anxiety Related Insomnia. (Absolutely no other mental issues than simple Insomnia!). Numerous W/D and C/T of those meds. During those years, my GP diagnosed me with GAD, Depression, etc... It was all W/D related, I know now! Fall of 2019, after too fast attempt to taper Mirtazapine, put myself in full blown W/D. February 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization. February 2021, I stupidly used some Ativan prn to cope with Mirtazapine W/D symptoms (By far worst mistake of all my life!!). Became accidentally and rapidly addicted (within 2-3 weeks). Started taper immediately. Actual medication: Mirtazapine: 40,0mg - holding- Ativan Taper: Started at 0,29mg march 2021, 03-28 0.28mg/ 04-08 0.27mg/ 04-26 0.25mg/ (...) 10-29 0.18mg/ 04-05-22 0.17mg/ 08-25-22 0.16mg/ 09-15-22 0.15mg/ 10-22-22 0.14mg/…/ 01-12-2023 0.11mg /07-02-2024 switch to 1mg Valium / 14-02-2024 0,9mg Valium. Supplements: Omega-3, Probiotic. Link to comment
Katy398 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Fantastic insomnia advice @Mimi79, and yes intrusive thoughts are by far the worse symptom for me too. The fact that you can see them as improving is wonderful, mine still seep over me like a dementor quite out of the blue. How weird to think, that I look forward to them only joining me during a waves!!!! obviously in the long term I look forward to them never joining me again, will that ever happen I wonder? Hang on in there folks we’ll get there in the end. Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey Last dose end Dec 2018 Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for 14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!! 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long. On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx 5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day. Link to comment
Teppo125 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 @Tom37 Intrusive thoughts all also mine worst symptom. It’s pure torture. Week ago I though that they fade away, but no they didn’t and they came back with avenge. I also have intrusive memories that are not true, they are delusional what my mind creates. They must fade away sometime. Hang on! And I was on Escitalopram(Lexapro) only 8 week last year. It’s an evil evil drug. I think that this drug creates most intrusive/obsessive thoughts 1 Mid july 2019 started Escitalopram First week 2,5mg, second week 5mg, then 10mg for few days, then back to 5mg Mid september 2019 quit cold turkey Escitalopram 1. february 2020 started Ketipinor for sleep issues and anxiety mid march 2020 stopped Ketipinor Taking some Diazepams (Diapam 5mg) for panic attacks and withdrawal. Not taken for months. Esomeprazol 40mg/day for gastroesophageal reflux disease Tapering that out 25% / week (done) Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Share Posted July 3, 2020 Course they will leave you @Katy398 it just takes time and our journeys are all unique. Ive been lucky that anxiety and depression have only happened in waves for me. Anyway.....got through my day. Work at home till mid day which was a struggle but think I got what I needed done. End of the day can only do my best. Then sat outside in the winter sun for a bit but then hit the wall and felt horrible so up to be on the bed in the winter sun. Almost feel asleep but woke myself up again. Hopefully tonight is a better night but nothing I can do about it if it isn’t just cope as best I can and it’s Saturday tomorrow so nothing I have to do. Just hope the physical symptoms do start to ease up and at least let me lie there in peace if can’t sleep. I was sleeping pretty ok up until this so once this waves goes should go back to it! 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 16 hours ago, Tom37 said: Yip horrible night alright. Just wish I could lie in bed and be feeling physically ok instead like I do. Night three and I’m struggling all right. Intrusive thoughts and my mind feels like someone else is in control of it. Really questioning if I will get out of this period especially with the sleep. Feel like a million miles away. Of course then feel like ending it all as only way to stop the suffering. May have to resort to a benzo in another night or two if doesn’t improve to get me through it. Hang in there Tom these are classic WD thoughts. You will absolutely get out of this period again. It's horrible to be whacked with a wave, Lexapro is brutal. BUT, it will go. Your success rate at getting through waves is 100 per cent, remember. January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Share Posted July 3, 2020 Thanks @sunnysideup69 Hope a good day is ahead for you. 1 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Johni Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 hello Tom. How do you feel? I am also trying to reduce lexapro / cipralex. I wish you all the best. 2023.01.27 1,6 mg 2023.01.29 1,5 mg 2023.02.27 1,35 mg 2023.03.30 1,2 mg 2023.04.18 1,1 mg 04,26 1,05 mg 2023.01.26 1,05 mg 2023.02.27 .27 .20. .21 0,8 mg 2023.07.14 0,65 mg 2023.08.20 0,45 mg 2023.09.20 0,25 mg 2023.11.14 000000000!!!!! Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Share Posted July 3, 2020 Another night of the same. Same symptoms keeping me up. Can’t stay in the same place for very long as this stupid restlessness/anxiety feeling makes me move. Listened to my rain on you tube which does help to calm me but I like silence to sleep. Wonderful intrusive thoughts aswell which can’t control. Frustrating thing is I don’t really feel exhausted like I normally would if can’t sleep and I think that’s cause the symptoms are higher over shadowing that part. Saturday here so day off and thank god for that. Trying to stay positive but it’s bloody hard. But things have to change and this wave has to end cause that’s what waves do but this feels like something different like a permanent setback. Either that or I’ve be given my worse and longest wave at 18 months out. Off to suffer in silence for the day. This must get better! 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Johni Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 I hope the translator translates well. I totally understand you. I am interestingly tired for 2-3 in the afternoon, and I always come to my senses in the evening. I wish you strength and perseverance. Are you doing any training? hello from hungarian. 2023.01.27 1,6 mg 2023.01.29 1,5 mg 2023.02.27 1,35 mg 2023.03.30 1,2 mg 2023.04.18 1,1 mg 04,26 1,05 mg 2023.01.26 1,05 mg 2023.02.27 .27 .20. .21 0,8 mg 2023.07.14 0,65 mg 2023.08.20 0,45 mg 2023.09.20 0,25 mg 2023.11.14 000000000!!!!! Link to comment
Lynnardgirl Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 On 7/2/2020 at 9:04 AM, Tom37 said: Yip horrible night alright. Just wish I could lie in bed and be feeling physically ok instead like I do. Night three and I’m struggling all right. Intrusive thoughts and my mind feels like someone else is in control of it. Really questioning if I will get out of this period especially with the sleep. Feel like a million miles away. Of course then feel like ending it all as only way to stop the suffering. May have to resort to a benzo in another night or two if doesn’t improve to get me through it. So sorry ! You will come out of it. My prayers and thoughts with you. Stay strong and know this will end. 1997 regular Effexor 150 mg2016-2017 up dosage to 225 tried several times to taper no luck fast taper Back on panic attacks anxiety Insomnia 2017 doing ok after a year but then insomia doctor put me onTrazodone was on Trazodone for 6 months or longer did a fast taper getting panic attacks 2018 Doctor switched me to Effexor XR an reduced my dose to 225 - down to 150 felt worse went back on regular Effexor Venlafaxine 2018 taper again, To fast tapered down to 112.5 from 150 take half twice a day 56.25 Link to comment
Lynnardgirl Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 @Tom37 I have been going in and out of the worse waves that bring me to my knees! Sleep maybe 2-3 hrs a night, sweating and anxiety at it’s worse! I’m close behind you from my last taper a17 months ! 1997 regular Effexor 150 mg2016-2017 up dosage to 225 tried several times to taper no luck fast taper Back on panic attacks anxiety Insomnia 2017 doing ok after a year but then insomia doctor put me onTrazodone was on Trazodone for 6 months or longer did a fast taper getting panic attacks 2018 Doctor switched me to Effexor XR an reduced my dose to 225 - down to 150 felt worse went back on regular Effexor Venlafaxine 2018 taper again, To fast tapered down to 112.5 from 150 take half twice a day 56.25 Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 4, 2020 Author Share Posted July 4, 2020 Tough isn’t it @Lynnardgirl. Well today really was a day of nothing. Really didn’t feel up to much at all and not even interested in watching tv. Bit of time in the sun outside this morning then afternoon on couch. Tough day fighting my thoughts so just let them be as I guess just thoughts after all. 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 4, 2020 Author Share Posted July 4, 2020 Well bit better last night. Only got approx 2 to 2.5 hours sleep but it was deep sleep and dreams etc. More positive was the horrible restlessness, anxiety, the intrusive thoughts and the waking myself up basically stopped. Still have this other main symptom/feeling there but that hopefully will also start to ease but others were the worst especially at night. So because I could lie in bed more comfortably spent the whole night in bed without pacing around or going to the lounge etc. I was lying there waiting for those symptoms to start but they didn’t and typically once they do go in waves they don’t come back so fingers crossed. Will still take it easy today but shouldn’t be confined to the couch and hopefully this means have just started to come down the other side of this wave but it’s wd so who knows which is half the problem. 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 Sounds like it's heading in the right direction @Tom37. January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 5, 2020 Author Share Posted July 5, 2020 So today was definitely but better than the last few days. Didn’t do much other than caught up on small bit of work, mowed little lawn (very small) and read/watched some tv which was far better than being on the couch. Still not feeling great but to be expected so dealing with it. Get more afraid of going backwards again or getting stuck where I am. Should trust that wave will end and will feel better like I was but it’s wd so can’t presume anything. Hopefully sleep will be bit better tonight but at least I know I can still sleep. 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
mdwstrx Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 Hi @Tom37 Glad to hear that things are settling for you a bit. Is your signature correct so that you are holding at 4 mg? This drug is powerful. For me, every little reduction seems to have emotional and some physical impact. Thankfully, so far, the symptoms fade if I hold long enough. But it's downright scary as we go through it. Thankful that the folks on this site get it and support one another. Sending prayers that this wave abates and you begin to feel much better! Md 🙏 2002 Escitalopram 10 mg 2018 2.5 mg - stopped by Dr./Reinstated, up-dosed to 7.5 mg 04/19 Began BM slide @7.5 mg CURRENT 0.36 mg 🌼 "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." Mark 9:23 Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 5, 2020 Author Share Posted July 5, 2020 Another night of no sleep. Felt ok in bed symptoms wise just couldn’t sleep. Was tired but no sleep. Never had this before in wd and getting me concerned. Feeling bit avg this morning with symptoms so hopefully still this wave causing it. Like this wave started a switch was flicked and can’t sleep. 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 5, 2020 Author Share Posted July 5, 2020 Hi @brassmonkey Sorry to bother you but just seeking some reassurance here from someone who has seen it all before. Been hit with a horrible wave out of nowhere. I know bad waves just happen so not too concerned about that but it’s the insomnia that is making this so much harder. Firstly I’m guessing bad insomnia can be an actual symptom of the wave? It sounds logic to me knowing everything else they can create. Then im guessIng once this wave washes out I should be able to return my previous sleep pattern or close to it? I was sleeping 5 to 7 hours a night without any real issues before got hit with It. Just not experienced a wave like this before and I really don’t want to take anything to sleep if this will more than likely be temporary even if it lasts a few more weeks would rather battle on and deal with it. I don’t believe my own anxiety is at play here creating the insomnia it’s a way different feeling than that plus have had many sleepless nights during waves caused by physical symptoms but this has gone on longer than normal. Thanks 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 6, 2020 Moderator Share Posted July 6, 2020 Hi Tom-- insomnia is probably one of the most bothersome symptoms that we run into. It comes and goes of it's own accord and no one really understands why. It can be tied to tapering, other symptoms, life stress, and just about anything else. It does run its course and clears up, but can take a while. Biggest thing is to try and not let it throw you, the secondary anxiety it can cause just spirals it worse. There is a lot of discussion about it throughout the site, try a site search for more information. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 6, 2020 Author Share Posted July 6, 2020 Thanks @brassmonkey for your reply and hopefully it does go shortly along with this nasty wave. 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 6, 2020 Author Share Posted July 6, 2020 Got through my day with some work and that’s about it. Tough day to be honest emotionally with the fear of losing everything I’ve worked for because of this new stage of wd. You go through so much in acute withdrawal and keep your job etc and get to this point where you start to see a future post withdrawal as your doing ok then feels like it’s all about to go. I can suffer till this ends I know that but to possibly be about to lose what you have fought so hard to keep is very hard. Hopefully tomorrow will give me a better outlook but some days are just HARD. 1 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Indeed @Tom37, some days are just tough. But you're doing the right things. You're holding until you're level and you're also having some good long windows. Healing is happening. January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 6, 2020 Author Share Posted July 6, 2020 So got 4 to 5 hours of deep sleep last night so that is a step in right direction.and hopefully will start being consistent again. Not feeling the shaking like I’m sick symptom either this morning so hopefully that is now done. Still very much in this wave but hoping it continues to slowly ease or maybe this id where I’m at for a while....who knows. Aim to get for a small walk this arvo weather allowing as mid winter here but main focus will be to catch up on some work. 1 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 On 7/6/2020 at 8:44 PM, Tom37 said: So got 4 to 5 hours of deep sleep last night so that is a step in right direction.and hopefully will start being consistent again. Not feeling the shaking like I’m sick symptom either this morning so hopefully that is now done. Still very much in this wave but hoping it continues to slowly ease or maybe this id where I’m at for a while....who knows. Aim to get for a small walk this arvo weather allowing as mid winter here but main focus will be to catch up on some work. How are ya? You mentioned knowing a couple of people on here who'd taken about three years to stabilise.....was wondering if you'd mind sharing who they are so I can read their threads? January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Lynnardgirl Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 30 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said: How are ya? You mentioned knowing a couple of people on here who'd taken about three years to stabilise.....was wondering if you'd mind sharing who they are so I can read their threads? 1997 regular Effexor 150 mg2016-2017 up dosage to 225 tried several times to taper no luck fast taper Back on panic attacks anxiety Insomnia 2017 doing ok after a year but then insomia doctor put me onTrazodone was on Trazodone for 6 months or longer did a fast taper getting panic attacks 2018 Doctor switched me to Effexor XR an reduced my dose to 225 - down to 150 felt worse went back on regular Effexor Venlafaxine 2018 taper again, To fast tapered down to 112.5 from 150 take half twice a day 56.25 Link to comment
Lynnardgirl Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Reach out to @Anthony75 He has been trying to stabilize for over 3 years ! He has helped me out 1 1997 regular Effexor 150 mg2016-2017 up dosage to 225 tried several times to taper no luck fast taper Back on panic attacks anxiety Insomnia 2017 doing ok after a year but then insomia doctor put me onTrazodone was on Trazodone for 6 months or longer did a fast taper getting panic attacks 2018 Doctor switched me to Effexor XR an reduced my dose to 225 - down to 150 felt worse went back on regular Effexor Venlafaxine 2018 taper again, To fast tapered down to 112.5 from 150 take half twice a day 56.25 Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 3 hours ago, Lynnardgirl said: Reach out to @Anthony75 He has been trying to stabilize for over 3 years ! He has helped me out Thank you buddy xxx January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Dejavu Posted July 11, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 11, 2020 Tom, I've been away from the forum for a while. Checked back in and saw that you're having a hard time. I'm so sorry. Of course, this too shall pass, but that's cold comfort when you're in the thick of it. I hope you get some sleep tonight and that this waves eases for you very soon. 2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020, accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 15, 2020 Author Share Posted July 15, 2020 Just bit if a little update.... So my wave ended about a week ago so back to sleeping as I have been, 5 to 7 hours a night. Was the worst wave I’ve had in a very long time so glad it’s over. Bit reluctant to say this but since it ended I’ve been feeling the best I’ve felt in this journey and nearly symptom free to the point where I don’t really even feel like I’m in wd at the moment. It’s actually been weird feeling this good. Hopefully it continues but it’s wd so bound to have more waves but do feel like I’ve gone up another level in my recovery after a good few months of standing still. Will probably enter a wave now after the above! But thought would document feeling this good and it may even give some hope to others going through this that it does get better. 4 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Dejavu Posted July 15, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 15, 2020 That is so great to hear Tom! I've heard it said that after big waves come big gains. Sending you healing energy today. 2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020, accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave Link to comment
Lynnardgirl Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 So happy to hear you finally came out of the awful wave! Healing is happening 1997 regular Effexor 150 mg2016-2017 up dosage to 225 tried several times to taper no luck fast taper Back on panic attacks anxiety Insomnia 2017 doing ok after a year but then insomia doctor put me onTrazodone was on Trazodone for 6 months or longer did a fast taper getting panic attacks 2018 Doctor switched me to Effexor XR an reduced my dose to 225 - down to 150 felt worse went back on regular Effexor Venlafaxine 2018 taper again, To fast tapered down to 112.5 from 150 take half twice a day 56.25 Link to comment
Katy398 Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 Great news Tom, yet another wave that you weathered. You did it, One more ticked off the recovery list. I’m now in a shocking wave intrusive thoughts and terrible neuro-emotions. Tom I hope you don’t mind but I’m going ask a question on your thread. There seem to be lots of folk on here who know a lot about Lexapro. I know it’s one of the strongest ADs but I’m looking for a source of information that states this, that I can give to my Dr. She has told me unequivocally that this is not true. I was prescribed double the registered dose 40mgs and sadly I know she will not take a peer support group seriously. Does anyone know of another source for this information. I have to go for some routine blood tests soon and I want to give her some information about Lexapro. It’s so dangerous that GPs do not know it’s strength. Take care Tom, slowly but surely we’ll get through this. Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey Last dose end Dec 2018 Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for 14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!! 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long. On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx 5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day. Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 18, 2020 Author Share Posted July 18, 2020 So still feeling good wd wise which is great but have another problem that need some advice on. Ive strained a muscle/muscles around my shoulder blade and for the last 5 days it’s been constant pain and discomfort. Have referred pain down my arm and goes into neck as well at times. I have been taking ibuprofen and paracetamol but don’t do much and sleep is not easy. I am seeing a physiotherapist so is getting treated. I’m very reluctant to take anything stronger due to wd so wondering has anyone taken codiene or anything stronger and been ok? I’ve been waiting so long and you go through so much to finally feel better and now this comes. So frustrated and upset by it but must remain positive. 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
Tom37 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Share Posted July 19, 2020 And looks like into another wave I go. Started feeling shaky yesterday afternoon which I put down to the pain I was in but then last night I had that horrible restless feeling were couldn’t lie in same place for more than a few minutes. Also weird thoughts and random memories started coming out. No sleep either due to pain and how restless I was. Still feeling shaky and restless this morning and feel like I just need to be moving. Still haven’t taken anything for my shoulder other than Ibuprofen and paracetamol so nothing I have taken has triggered it. Thankfully off work this week as on holiday and while was really disappointed to not be able to go anywhere it’s now just a relief that I can rest at home. Physiotherapist session this arvo plus wed and Friday so hopefully by end of week through the worst of it but it’s unbelievable how much pain those muscles can cause. Hopefully this wave is a short one too especially after feeling so good. 1 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment
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