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Tom37: Lexapro taper

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Tom37

So a pretty **** day so far today although had best sleep since this wave started so thought it would be a better day but not so.

 

Got about 6 hours or proper deep sleep so that was nice but while other symptoms have eased just have this horrible feeling today. Really hard to describe it.

 

Doing a normal days work but from home so will see how it goes. Have just been out to visit a supplier but wasn’t easy and Just did not want to be there. No anxiety or anything just this stupid feeling that’s in me at the moment.

 

Also feel kinda really upset and sad about everything but it feels like it’s part of the wave as not normally like that.

 

Anyway hopefully the day will get better but I guess one day closer to the wave ending.

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mdwstrx

Hi Tom. 

So glad to hear your doing better!  If you can hang in day by day, you're through a large part of the w/d.... maybe halfway or more?  At least that's what I tell myself.  :)

But, I also know that feeling of upset and sad about the predicament.  It's all part of accepting I guess.  But boy have my eyes been opened!  I am so wanting to start a proper gradual taper.  I'm also starting to get interested in Mindfulness from this website and it's links too. I think after a scary experience like this, getting as healthy as we can mentally is a no brainer, especially contemplating the taper.  

 

In talking with family, friends and other contacts, its amazing how many folks are admitting to being on these meds, many who are just as clueless as I was to the potential dangers.  They are all learning of this website now. lol

 

Anyway, you are not alone.  I think I read 30 mil in the US alone.  That's alot of us.

 

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eymen23

Hi Tom,

 

Honestly, you’re doing so well to keep patient and ride this out. Although I am yet to start tapering from Escitalopram (generic version of Lexapro), I have had lots of experiences with going from good to bad, and then back.

 

For example, I may feel fantastic on a Monday and make plans with friends for the weekend, only to feel awful on the Thursday and dread the whole thing. Another example was in February I booked a trip to Australia and had to cancel it just before going last week due to being so up and down. 

 

If if I could give you any advice, take things day by day as much as you can. Any time you feel well, get whatever enjoyment you can out of your life. In the times you’re not sleeping and feel bad, be kind to yourself, limit your activities as much as possible i.e. work from home, ask friends to meet you locally rather than far away, get in bed and watch your favourite tv show. If you’ve made plans to go into the office or meet friends and you’ve entered a wave, don’t hesitate to drop those commitments if you feel they will be too much. Trust your gut on what you’re capable of during a wave. It’s not weak or unfair, it is the soup of the day, sometimes it’s mushroom (ergh) and sometimes it’s chicken (yay). 

 

Its easy to beat oneself up and ask over and over and over again - when will this pain end. Why me? But this is it Tom, however you feel right now in this moment, is how you’re going to feel whether you like it or not, so enjoy it if it’s good and try to accept it if it’s not. 

 

Easier said than done though! 

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Tom37

Thanks.

 

Today has been a struggle although in different ways.

 

Just this reallying annoying feeling inside of me that doesn’t really go away with walking or driving or resting.....just stays the same. Don’t think it’s akathsia from what I have read but it’s not pleasant at all.  

 

Just try to keep focusing on the fact that on Sunday I was basically in bed all day due to the terrible flu like feeling I was having yet that has basically resolved so I guess this can do - hopefully sooner than later. This too shall pass but the negative and anxious part of me always thinks it could stay forever! And knowing how it goes this symptom will be replaced by something else until the wave ends.

 

Just after some stabilising as going from one extreme to the other is so hard to deal with.

 

Whatever you do coming off follow the advice on here.

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Tom37

Well made it through another day. I feel so weak sometimes dealing with what I am dealing with compared to others who seem a lot worse with their symptoms. If only you could be given a deadline on when it will end as the unknown is so hard to deal.

 

Just one of those days where every thought was negative so had to use all my cbt to get around it. The crazy thing is I don’t have any physical symptoms of anxiety at all.

 

Hopefully tomorrow will bring a better day not just with these symptoms but with how I deal with the situation mentally.

 

Hope anyone who reads this is doing well and taking care of themselves.

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Tom37

So actually had another good sleep last night even though it was a really hot day/night. Got about 6 hours or so. Been finding that sometime in the evening I just get hit with this huge need to go to sleep, it’s more than normal tiredness but I guess with what the body is going though you can’t blame it.

 

Unfortunatly still in a wave and into day 5. Horrible feeling I had yesterday of not being able to relax has gone but do feel better. Still have this annoying jittery/small nervousness feeling on the inside which then turns into an internal kinda ache. Had it in the last wave too and was the last to leave when it ended. If this would go then would feel close to myself again. An the dry mouth which is weird.

 

Still get the odd period of feeling briefly upset about things but definitely think it’s wave related and not ‘me’. 

 

Doing another full days work from home as just didn’t feel comfortable being around work mates although hopefully tomorrow will get it. Also hate the ‘’so how are you feeling’’ comments that always come when you go back. 

 

Just been for a gentle walk by the ocean but another hot day today so not out for long. Days like this make you miss those nice winter nights.

 

 

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Tom37

Another day in this wave although seeing improvements.

 

The inner kinda jittery/nervousness feeling was reduced all morning and the internal ache that follows in the afternoon has also been less. Head felt bit spaced out this morning but that got better as day went along.

 

Had a decent 5.5 hours sleep which is always good although ever since I started taking this drug have never slept through the night where as before always did. 

 

Actually went into office today and was fine even though have preferred working from home as just a less stressful environment with how busy work is.

 

Dealing with the unknown about how I will be tomorrow is the hardest part about all this so hopefully some form of stability is coming. Even if symptoms stayed before improving but were consistent would be a lot easier.

 

 

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Tom37

So the last four days I have been feeling a lot better but still think I’m in this wave as still have symptoms when previously I was symptom free when in a window.

 

Current main symptoms are the internal aching which seems to be mainly in the knees, but also in elbows and upper body. It’s not bad enough to have to take anything but a reminder that all is still not right. Also have but if an ache in the back left side of my head which has come and gone since this all started. Always in the same place but usually not enough to take any paracetamol. Then usually in the morning the body feels like it’s releasing this ‘ache’ and it subsides. Weird.

 

Still been taking it easy compared to normal but have done a bit of gardening and walking each day plus work so that has been good. Plus out an about doing what needs to be done.

 

Mentally have been feeling good and just more focusing on making sure I’m dealing with this in the right way. No crazy neuro thoughts last four days. Cbt always at the ready.

 

Just hope I’m on my way to some stability even if it means still having minor symptoms.

 

So I guess it’s a positive I’m feeling a lot  better yet still have symptoms and current wave is 8 days yet on day 8 in last wave was struggling big time.

 

Still mainting current dose and have made no other changes and don’t plan to as all about getting stable.

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Tom37

So still think in this wave....been 11 days I think now.

 

Yesterday and the day before where still relatively good days and apart from the aching felt not too bad. Been sleeping ok which is about 5 to 6 hours a night for me.

 

Today though have this different feeling which kinda makes me feel restless....it’s hard to explain and quite horrible. Been feeling very negative and very irritable as well with thoughts that I know are not my own. Trying to just flow with them but it’s hard.

 

Been 7 weeks tomorrow since I crashed and almost 7 weeks since I updosed.

 

i have had two ‘windows’ that lasted around a week or slightly longer and during them felt about 90 percent and while this wave hasn’t been as bad as the first two, stability seems miles away and on a day like today getting me very down. Especially when you feel like you will never get back to how you were and lose hope about it all which is a scary place to be. Just wonder what is the point in it all. Even if I do stabilise will I be well enough to have a normal life? If not will I then need to go through a long slow taper which is no guarantee of not getting worse? No matter how you look at it it’s a **** place to be.

 

Makes me wished I had never ever decided to taper in the first place. 

 

Time for another walk which even though is supposedly good for you won’t do anything to reduce how I feel today.

 

 

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bubble

Hello Tom. Sorry that you are struggling.

 

I read your and Nick's post today and wanted to share with you something that has change how I experience all the horrors of withdrawal.

 

So quoting what I wrote to Nick.

 

When I was struggling similarly Shep wrote to me how I could use this period to get stronger spirirually, turn mud into lotus.

 

This somehow lead me to Tara Brach. Her talks on dealing with fear, radical acceptance and how not to add suffering to pain we are going through helped me tremendously. It might not be your cup of tea but even her voice has such a soothing effect on me.

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nick1990

Hey bro, 

 

just chiming in here too .

 

As you know I’ve been in a bit of an up and down wave as of late.

Not too sure what’s caused it, but there’s been a lot of external stressors.

 

Anyway, i know how your feeling - it’s a rough place to be in . 

But I want to assure you of something - I crashed quite badly in 2015 from too fast tapering . I’m quite sensitive to drops ,  and I dropped too much, too fast.

I updosed 3 months later, as I was really struggling.

I didn’t notice much improvement from the updose now that I think about it.

I had symptoms ease and then intensify again, mostly panic, anxiety and depression type feelings. Then came some more physical ones, then back to neuro emotions. It was frustratingly slow, but I knew I just had to wait and see what happened. I had been told time and time again that stability will happen, but it will take as long as it takes .

Slowly, symptoms started to fade and I wouldn’t even notice that I was feeling ok.

After 1 year since my updose, I was back to feeling myself. No residual symptoms - I was as stable as I was going to be.

 

I then began slowly tapering, and have been doing so for about 20 months. I’ve had a few ups and downs but my god it’s been a really amazing experience. 

At times I’ve felt more content and clearer than I have in so long . Like since I was a child. I’ve been a pretty happy guy. And the waves that have come up have only been quite minimal and seem to fade relatively quickly. 

 

We we both know what it’s like to feel sh*t and how much it can change our perception.  But honestly, once your through this, you’ll be looking back on it feeling so proud and confident. 

 

Ive seen time and time again, members of this forum say that we are to expect some bumps along the way , some more intense and more overwhelming than others, but it’s all part of the journey to getting our lives back. It takes time. But I really think it’ll be so worth it . 

 

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Tom37

Thanks Nick,

 

Hopefully I’ll get there sooner rather than later but it takes whatever time it takes I guess.

 

Your experience has definitely given me some more hope that it will happen and I feel for you that you are struggling again at the moment but like you said stability will happen.

 

I to have found it crazy how clear at times my mind has been since tapering and makes me remember how I was pre medication. Once I do eventually stabilise I really don’t know if I will continue on with tapering as this has been such a tough experience so far I don’t know if I can risk going through it again even with a very very slow taper, and as I’m down to 3.87mg I definitely have gained a lot more emotion back which I may just have to settle for but in time I guess you never know.

 

Hopefully your having a better day today. 

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Tom37

Hello,

 

So today started off not to great but once up seemed to get better. For the first time since being in this wave the aching I have been having mainly in my knees, elbows, upper body and fingers didn’t happen last night or this morning. Actually kinda scared me as had gotten use to it and kinda knew the routine of the symptoms. It has though made my knees feel kinda weak and same with the rest of me which then kinda makes for a nervous type feeling. Will see how it feels tomorrow.

 

Still been struggling a bit mentally specifically about this never ending but trying to challenge those thoughts as best I can. Think some of it is from the medication and some my own.

 

Had to do a bit of work today so got that done at home, went for a walk this morning and then went for a drive out to one of the surf beaches to have a look then bit of quick food shopping on way home.

 

Find it difficult to just stay home and do nothing and doing that just reinforces the fact you are not well so always try to do something positive.

 

Just wish these physical symptoms/sensations would ease up as they are my main issue. During my taper I always generally had something physical going on but was always very minor and always improved.

 

If anyone reading this has crashed and then had to stabilise, if you have any advice that would be appreciated.

 

Thanks

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Tom37

This wave is brutal......no sleep last night as was in constant pain....felt like in my bones and when I was almost about to drift off a weird feeling would wake me. Not sure if it was anxiety feeling or what but wouldn’t let me sleep. Plus my mind was thinking all sorts of weird stuff going from one thing to another. Usually I just think about cool stuff before sleep then fall asleep but was like I couldn’t control what I was thinking last night.

 

So struggling at the moment quite a lot and praying get some relief soon.

 

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jozeff

Hi Tom,

 

Too bad you're struggling so much.

 

That waking just before falling asleep is awful. I have this sometimes and I think it's pure anxiety. Your body is in a state of anxiety and ready to act in case of  "danger". Falling asleep is not part of that and your brain keeps you awake. I have this sometimes and my heart is pounding and I cannot fall asleep.

 

Try not to focus too much on this. You will be sleeping better soon I guess. The pain must be awful. I have little experience with pain fortunately but I bet it is ramping up your symptoms.

 

I hope you will have some good sleep and you will be better soon!

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

 

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mdwstrx

Hi Tom,

I am so sorry to hear it's been such a tough wave.  The weird feeling of 'anxiety' you mentioned sounds to me like the Akithisia - like symptoms I have.  One known treatment is Propranolol, a beta blocker.  I think I mentioned before that if I take a very tiny dose (2.5 mg), it keeps the horrid feeling from overwhelming me.  It has helped to take the edge off many times during these last weeks and frankly, it has kept me from having to taper off a benzo when this is all said and done.  I know too, how the weird thoughts can be disturbing.  Try to accept that they are just thoughts and on their own, of no consequence.  Observe them, letting them come and go.  Try not to give into secondary fear that will make you feel so much worse.   Will check in again soon but know others are walking along here with you and praying for you that stabilization comes soon.

 

 

 

 

 

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nick1990

So sorry to hear that your struggling again Tom . 

Its going to take a while to settle fully, but it WILL happen. You will return to feeling good and strong and yourself. 

 

I can tell you, after going through a rough crash a few years back, that the feeling of getting yourself back once stabilised is truly liberating. I didn’t even think of WD barely at all for nearly two years after i stabilised. 

And I felt so clear and able to handle anything.

Your in the wringer right now, it’s goinh to be rough at times, but please have faith and believe me and everyone else when we say that you will stabilise and feel good. It’s just going to take time.

 

now, I don’t know how to share links, but Bubble linked a YouTube video from Tara Branch to my intro topic the other day when I was in a panicky state and it’s truly amazing. Check it out if you like . 

 

You’ll get there mate. 

Its summer, and the sun is shining . 

 

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Tom37

Thanks guys your support and kind words mean a lot especially as you understand the situation.

 

yeah definitely a tough period at the moment.

 

dont think I’ll gone down the route of trying any other medications for the moment as who knows how I will react.

 

ive had the waking before sleeping before and it’s so frustrating because mentally I’m not actually anxious so it’s definitely from the medication. It has always passed and I’m sure it will again even if it takes a few days.

 

hope is what keeps you going so hopefully things settle down soon or at least get a window with some proper relief. Just crazy how in the windows I have had I have felt so good yet like everyone when in a wave it’s hard to imagine ever leaving it. 

 

Will just get through today as day as best I can and i guess that’s one day closer to feeling better.

 

 

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Tom37

Well made it through half the day.....but it’s been a struggle.

 

Definitly a minute by minute day which thankfully I haven’t had too many of lately.

 

Pretty much decided to stay home and rest so apart from doing a bit of work it’s been a day of nothing. Feel restless though so even hard to properly relax and up and down all the time. 

 

Will be two weeks on Saturday that I started this wave and while up until now it has been ‘easier’ it’s now decided to turn it on big time.

 

Days like this make you question holding your dose and you even think might as well CT to finally get it out of my system to let true healing begin but doing either of those is a definite no go.

 

Trying to remember that these symptoms too shall pass just like all the ones before them have but the reality is more like I feel like I’m screwed.

 

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ChessieCat
43 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

Days like this make you question holding your dose and you even think might as well CT to finally get it out of my system to let true healing begin but doing either of those is a definite no go.

 

I'm doing reasonably okay with my symptoms yet I've been recently thinking about whether I should jump off 5mg Pristiq.  I think it's part and parcel of the withdrawal process.  We go through times when we become impatient to get the whole thing over and done with.  Then, for me, common sense prevails, yet in the back of my mind I still think what if.

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Tom37

All I can say is go very very slow as I wouldn’t wish how I feel on anybody.

 

Im just praying I can stabilise eventually and these physical symptoms ease up to a point where they are tolerable and don’t interfere with daily life.....like they were before I crashed.

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Tom37

7 weeks after updosing from 3mg to 4mg Lexapro after a crash and still really struggling.

 

Had two good windows that lasted about a week each but currently in a two week wave that is getting tougher. Main symptoms are physical and seem to change constantly in this wave.

 

Im guessing holding is the best thing to do but being stable is not anywhere close to happening at the moment.

 

Tying to remain hopeful.

 

 

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ChessieCat
3 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

7 weeks after updosing from 3mg to 4mg Lexapro after a crash and still really struggling.

 

Had two good windows that lasted about a week each but currently in a two week wave that is getting tougher. Main symptoms are physical and seem to change constantly in this wave.

 

Im guessing holding is the best thing to do but being stable is not anywhere close to happening at the moment.

 

Tying to remain hopeful.

 

 

 

The fact that you've felt improvement is a good sign.

 

Your nervous system has taken a pounding recently and it's going to take some time for things to get back to reasonable.  You will experience ups and downs, that we call Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization.

 

You also have to realise that it's been Christmas time and that adds stress.  Other members are finding that their withdrawal symptoms have ramped up a bit over this time.

 

Have you drunk any alcohol?  Over eaten or different foods, possibly fatty or sugary?  Been doing more than normal?  Staying up later then usual? Drinking more coffee or caffeine drinks than normal?  These can all have an effect.

 

Something that you need to realise is that it is going to take time for you to feel the same way you used to.  Our desire is to go back to how we felt at our best.  However, when it comes to the situation we are in here, our comparison isn't to how we felt when we were at our best, we need to compare how we feel now with how we felt at our worst.  If we aren't feeling as bad as before, however small the improvement, then that is a good sign.  We need to learn to be patient. 

 

You need to be patient and try and be as stress free and look after yourself as well as you can.  It's important to get yourself a non drug coping toolkit together and learn and use these techniques.  Being able to give your nervous system a few periods of rest everyday can help.  And it becomes a habit and you will recognise when stress starts and be able to nip it in the bud before it gets too far.

 

Wanting to do something is perfectly normal and for men I think it is an even stronger drive.  It is inbuilt in most males to want to take action to fix something.  However what our brains need is a calm environment and time.  Being patient and doing nothing is actually doing something even though it doesn't feel like it.  It would be much easier if we could see or be tested to know exactly what is happening in our brain our body but unfortunately we can't.  We just have to trust the experience that has been learned from others that have gone before us.

 

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Tom37

Thanks,

 

I haven’t done anything different lately, diet has pretty much stayed the same, no alcohol at all. Same routine each night for bed and had been sleeping 5 to 6 hours a night till last night for last ten days even though in a wave.

 

Just having a tough day today with everything. I think last night scared me a bit with completely different symptoms coming through and that really knocks you mentally.

 

 

 

 

 

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gn11

In my experience holding is best but it seems like you may have dome too much of an increase. Let's see what some of the moderators say. Sorry about your challenegs

 

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ChessieCat

I've moved the posts from the other topic because it will keep Tom's history in one place and I've already responded with some thoughts.

 

13 minutes ago, gn11 said:

it seems like you may have dome too much of an increase

 

53 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

7 weeks after updosing from 3mg to 4mg Lexapro

 

Yes, a 25% increase is too much.  We probably would have suggested a much smaller increase.  However it is now 7 weeks on the new dose and would probably be too late to reduce by too much.

 

You will either have to hold at the dose you are on or you could always try a tiny decrease and see how things go.  Possibly a 2% or 2.5% reduction.

 

It is a decision that only you can make. 

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Tom37

To be precise I’m at 3.87mg. I settled on that when I got my Gemini scale as before that was only using one that did full mg’s. 

 

I think holding is best option for now and definitely not in the right place mentally  to be making dose decisions right at the moment.

 

Have seen plenty of others who updosed by either the same percentage or more who stabilised.

 

When the crash originally happened I make the decision to increase straight away and due to the big window I got 7 days later thought it was the right thing to do. Then after a week entered another wave for 13 days then another window for 8 days then into this almost two week wave.

 

Did message Alto for her advice but understand she is busy and she would probably say ‘you stabilise when you stabilise and changing dosage doesn’t help’. 

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

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ChessieCat

Getting improvements in amongst the waves is a good sign.  When we are in a wave it feels like we've been in it forever and we worry that we won't get another window.

 

You have a brain that was given chemicals, to which it adapted.  When the drugs were taken away the brain was always trying to adapt.  It is not just one or two changes that it has to make, it is a chain reaction.  If one thing is changed it affects something else so that has to change and so on down the line, which is why so many different parts of the body can be affected.  And then taking more of the drug the brain is trying to work out what it needs to do again because of the extra chemicals.

 

Basically, the drugs can cause issues, and getting off them can cause issues, whether by a slow taper (even slow taperers experience withdrawal symptoms), fast taper or CT.  The thing to remember is that the brain is always working to get back to factory settings, and it needs time to do this.

 

Forgetting who I've posted what to and haven't got the energy to go back through previous posts:

 

On 12/4/2015 at 2:41 AM, apace41 said:

 

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.  

 

 

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Tom37

Firstly, thanks for your help today. Really appreciate it.

 

I know what your saying I guess it’s one of those days where I could read success stories, or advice from experienced people but still not believe that I will get better. 

 

Not normally like this and apologies for it but just one of those days.....one to forget.

 

 

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ChessieCat

You're welcome.  I'm recovering from heat exhaustion which I got on Christmas day being out in 35 degree heat and not realising how hot it was.  I went back to bed yesterday morning and slept for 3-3.5 hours even though I had slept through the night before.  And I managed to not go back to bed this morning even though I felt like it.  I was hoping to do some small sewing projects or some beading today but just didn't have the energy.  Also in a heat wave here in Sydney (currently 39 degrees C outside = 100+ F) so just trying to stay cool.  I've just put the air con on (4 pm daily saving time so really 3 pm by the sun) to cool the house down as it is about 33 or 34 degrees inside now.   And 3 days of 41 degrees forecast from tomorrow.  And a cool 37 on Monday, and a chilly 34 degrees for Tuesday and 33 for Wednesday.  I'll be having to put a blanket on next week.

 

Hopefully I'll feel more like being creative tomorrow.

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Tom37

Hello,

 

So had a better night last night and got about 5 to 6 hours which was good. The horrible bone/joint pain from the previous night didn’t happen and neither did the horrible feeling that would stop me from sleeping.

 

Probably feel a bit better than yesterday but still feel a bit ‘ill’. Went for a gentle 30 min walk and felt like an old man! Its kinda a milder version of ‘the flu’ like symptoms I’ve had in the past. The ‘restlessness’ feeling is still kinda there but less.

 

Anyway a better day I guess so should be thankful for that.

 

Will be two weeks tomorrow since I entered this wave and it’s just so hard mentally to deal with especially the constant changing of how you feel with the symptoms. Trying to be better at it.

 

Did hear from a member who took three months to stabilise are too fast tapering and also a reinstatement and who went through a lot of physical symptoms too. While doesn’t mean it will be three months for me it is something to hold on too.

 

Never expect anyone to reply to these post I just do it to track how I’m going and occasionally ask a mod a question.

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ChessieCat
4 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Did hear from a member who took three months to stabilise are too fast tapering and also a reinstatement and who went through a lot of physical symptoms too. While doesn’t mean it will be three months for me it is something to hold on too.

 

Knowing this can help you to relax and not to stress about things.  It will happen when it happens.  No good worrying about it.  It's not going to make the time go any quicker.

 

Use the image of waiting in a queue, the line gradually gets shorter.  When you are in a queue you can't make it move any quicker than it does.  You have no control over it.  All you can do is wait in the line.  How you wait is what is going to make a difference.  You can either be impatient and start getting irritable and think bad things and complain to the other people who might start swearing at you which makes you feel worse or you can try to be patient and calm and try and think of nice things and look at the things around you.  It's going to take the same amount of time for you to get to the head of the queue but you can either make the experience of waiting pleasant or unpleasant.

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added a bit more

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Tom37

Hey,

 

Your right about that...and today because I’m feeling bit better it’s easier to believe.

 

By the way a ‘nice’ 24 degrees where I am in NZ today although you would probably have your heater on!

 

Dont know how you guys put up with the heat for so long during your summer but I guess it’s what your use too.

 

 

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ChessieCat
1 minute ago, Tom37 said:

By the way a ‘nice’ 24 degrees where I am in NZ today although you would probably have your heater on!

 

Not me.  I'm in Australia and thinking of climbing into the fridge.  I think I would fit if I take out all the shelves.  41 C degree forecast for today = 105.8 F degrees.  And 2 more 41 C degree days forecast after today.  I do have air con, but I'm on government benefits and meagre savings so hae to try hard not to use it.

 

Enjoy your pleasant 24 degrees.

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Carmie

Hi Tom, 

 

Great to hear you got a good night’s sleep. The weather sounds lovely where you are. It’s a beautiful sunny day here in Queensland. I’m lying in bed with the aircon on at the moment. I don’t feel overly hot but just wanted to feel comfortable.

 

Wow! ChessieCat would be melting in 41 degrees. 

 

I’m really sorry to hear about your tough n scary day. I’ve had lots of those myself. I think all of us have. All we can do is try and cope with a day at a time, an hour at a time, and sometimes a minute at a time. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

 

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Tom37

Thanks for your kind words Carmie.

 

Yes 41 degrees is too hot for me. Was in Las Vegas in middle of summer and got to 47 degrees and that was ridiculous!

 

Anyway another day basically done.

 

Was able to get out for a couple of gentle walks which was nice especially as it is a lovely day out. Managed to complete the work I needed to at home and just generally felt a bit better.

 

Still have this ‘flu’ like feeling lingering which isn’t as bad as it has been but still enough to make me not feel too good and it’s a slightly ‘different’ version which always unsettles me. The random physical anxiety spikes in my stomach seem to have eased although have popped up on occasion for no reason. 

 

One of the main reasons I wanted off the drug was not only did I feel like I had my anxiety really under control but I wanted to ‘feel’ properly again. As I have gone lower and lower it’s been amazing to ‘feel’ the joy in things again. Just little things like feeling the sun on your back while going for a late afternoon walk or just walking along the beach feel so good. 

 

Just hope I get better so I can enjoy them even more so!

 

One of the things I do struggle with and can cause me sleep issues is thinking about tomorrow and how I’m feeling will effect it.  Because I’m all over the place with symptoms you just don’t know how you will be and I think when you have a really tough day it’s easy to lie there and think it’s going to happen again tomorrow or be even worse and if it does how will I cope etc. Cbt works (catastrophizing, predicting the future etc) to a certain extend but sometimes not enough. 

 

If if anyone has any tips on this if they have been through it, let me know.

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