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Tom37: Lexapro taper

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Tom37

Went into work and did what had to be done. Was feeling quite sore so it was difficult but got through it. Had physio this afternoon and feeling better after that. Just need to reduce this inflammation from the injury and that should reduce arm pain.

 

Wasnt actually feeling that good wd wise for most of the day. Felt quite shivery and just not right this morning and quite emotional all day. Normally I don’t get this emotional and wasnt the last three or so days so I’m guessing it’s wd and not me as. Usually get grumpy instead. Pretty tired after first day back on no sleep so hopefully a better night ahead.

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Tom37

Better night with about 6 hours sleep. Actually feel asleep on the couch which is very unlike me. Feel bit shivery this morning which creates bit of a nervous feeling but always feel better after sleep. Will see how the day goes emotionally but think still similar to yesterday. Maybe going through a period of emotional symptoms which feel more intense because of injury.

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thelegend

Who knows what puts us into a wave, could be anything, or even nothing. You are getting there Tom, think of how much better you are now and how far you have come. This wave will pass like all the others.

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getofflex
16 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Better night with about 6 hours sleep. Actually feel asleep on the couch which is very unlike me. Feel bit shivery this morning which creates bit of a nervous feeling but always feel better after sleep. Will see how the day goes emotionally but think still similar to yesterday. Maybe going through a period of emotional symptoms which feel more intense because of injury.

Glad you are sleeping better.  I've been praying for you.  Jennifer

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Tom37

Thanks @getofflex

 

Not a great night as arm started aching just before going to bed and didn’t let up till morning. Wasn’t unbearable but enough to be quite annoying. Only got around 3 hours sleep max but better than nothing. Arm pain was higher up the arm above elbow which is possibly a good sign as it’s getter further away from the hand but will see how it goes today. Wd is still feeling as I have been. Just physically feel bit nervous which doesn’t help with sleep. Bit shivery etc. Hopefully this to will pass.

 

Would love to be able to go to bed and feel  normal or close to it!

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Tom37

Just wondering if anyone has had any side effects from taking ibuprofen in wd or even before wd? Have searched on here but hard to go through them all.
 

This nervousness/jittery feeling only really started since I started taking it so wondering if it’s because of that. Knowing my luck it’s probably just a new wd symptom but I haven’t had anything like this in a long time and was feeling so good. Will stop taking in next week or so if injury continues to slowly improve.

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Dejavu

I've taken it both before and during wd and it has never seemed to bother me. Can you try acetaminophen instead?  It's less likely to elevate liver enzymes anyway.

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Tom37

@Dejavu i can take paracetamol no problem and have taken it during wd but the ibuprofen was for the anti inflammatory effect. Over the last week have also developed a noticeable and not pleasant dry mouth and my stomach hasn’t been right since starting it so I’m thinking it is causing some of this things especially if you look at the drug side effects which includes dry mouth, nervousness and nausea plus quite a few others. Will probably give it a day or two and stop to see if they subside. The other option is a oral steroid like cortisone but don’t really want to go down that route.

 

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Dejavu

I've never noticed side effects from ibuprofen, but everyone is different. I really hope you don't have to do a steroid. Flonase is most likely responsible for this lovely 3 week wave I'm currently "enjoying." And a steroid eye drop put me in a world of hurt last year while I was struggling to stabilize. 

 

Have you tried using a TENS unit? I have a bulging disc at C3 with a bone spur and mild arthritis. I use a TENS unit for 20 minutes daily and I usually get 24 pain-free hours. I don't know whether it would help you, but for me it's a very effective drug-free treatment. You can order them on Amazon. I would check with my doctor first, of course.

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Dejavu
Posted (edited)

And I forgot to mention that it also relaxes me and helps with anxiety when I have it. I lie down, turn on the TENS unit, put on a meditation audio, and usually end up falling asleep.

Edited by Dejavu
Omitted word.

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Tom37

Thanks @Dejavu we have a tens machine I think so may give it a go. I always found it hard to believe when members say they can’t eat certain foods or even certain chemicals in wd but we are so sensitive in our current state. Yeah I’m praying healing keeps happening so can stay away from cortisone pills or shot but it’s 6 to 12 weeks to recover. Is slowly getting better but it’s nerve pain that’s the main issue.

 

Thanks

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Dejavu

Nerve pain is the worst. I hope the TENS unit helps and that this latest detour is over quickly for you!

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getofflex
16 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Thanks @getofflex

 

Not a great night as arm started aching just before going to bed and didn’t let up till morning. Wasn’t unbearable but enough to be quite annoying. Only got around 3 hours sleep max but better than nothing. Arm pain was higher up the arm above elbow which is possibly a good sign as it’s getter further away from the hand but will see how it goes today. Wd is still feeling as I have been. Just physically feel bit nervous which doesn’t help with sleep. Bit shivery etc. Hopefully this to will pass.

 

Would love to be able to go to bed and feel  normal or close to it!

I'm sorry you are dealing with this arm and shoulder pain.  I'm still praying for you.  Jennifer

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Tom37

Better night last night. About 5 hours so will take that. Arm pain was least it’s been so that helped. Stopped the ibuprofen now to see if that was making me feel the way I was and I did feel less of the nervousness I have been feeling this morning and throughout the day. Mouth also not as dry but still not normal.  Still have nausea type feeling that comes and goes so will see how I feel over the next couple of days as may take a few days to get back to current normal.

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Dejavu

Tom, thanks for your support on my thread. So very appreciated as it has been a truly horrendous day. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

 

Looks like you're creeping back up to WD Normal, my friend. Perhaps the ibuprofen really is the culprit. You're right; it is so random how different substances affect our sensitive nervous systems. Have you had a chance to try the TENS Unit?

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Tom37

@Dejavu no haven’t had a chance to try it yet. One thing about horrendous days is they don’t last so I’m sure a better day is coming. Will see about the ibuprofen it could be mind over matter but you never know. 

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Tom37

Last couple of days have been feeling a bit better. The nausea type feeling and the nervousness seems to have gone so better in that sense but have been left with this horrible annoying depression feeling. Think it came on after last wave but had other symptoms going on so wasn’t as focused on it but I do wonder if it’s me causing it due to my injury as it has been hard to deal with. It isn’t there all the time and underneath it I feel quite happy/normal if that makes sense. Sometimes it even makes me feel a bit teary.
 

My sleep has also been frustrating with waking after an hour or hour and a half then sleep for two or three hours then wake then sleep for another hour or so when was sleeping four to five hours at least without waking. Really vivid dreams as well.
 

Maybe the last few weeks have been too much for me so it is ‘me’. I’ve never actually been depressed before and it was panic that got me on these pills.

 

These emotional symptoms are so hard to distinguish as wd or not because they are so real. Hate them.

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Cigale
6 hours ago, Tom37 said:

These emotional symptoms are so hard to distinguish as wd or not because they are so real.

 

Hello @Tom37 - I have been quietly following your journey and just want to say how much this comment resonates with me. I believe that l will never really be able to pinpoint the source of my symptoms. How much of this is me causing me to suffer and how much is WD? I know the answer of course: "It doesn't matter." I can only control certain things in my life, and then I just need to accept the rest. For me, acceptance is still easier said than done.

 

It is good to hear you are feeling better.

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Tom37

Thanks @Cigale

 

So another lovely day in wd. Physically feeling pretty good wd wise so that is good but I have this underlying horrible constant feeling that comes along with this depression that is at times is making life rather uncomfortable. I can feel mentally ok like right now but in half an hour or whenever it all goes on me. Have some terrible thoughts and it’s just horrible. Also makes me at times just want to have a cry. I don’t think I’ve experienced this in wd so am bit concerned it’s me. I can still concentrate at work, I’m eating and get hungry, still interested in my life. In fact I want my life back more than ever. Typically with me it would be anxiety that would come up but no physical anxiety symptoms at all. I know my injury has been hard for me to deal with but it’s on the improve.

 

It’s just so changeable. I try to distract myself with other thoughts etc which helps but they feel so real, so powerful and believable.

 

If anyone can relate to this currently or has experienced this and it’s gone please let me know. Some reassurance that I’m not losing my mind and won’t be like this forever would be nice.

 

Thanks

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sunnysideup69

@Tom37, I think feelings that seem to spring from nowhere and then evaporate just as sharply, are most likely WD rated. Especially if there's no apparent trigger. Yes, have definitely had those. Have felt randomly scared of sitting on the sofa (???) one day, and also sudden waves of flatness, before. Like a switch has gone off and then comes on again. Sounds like WD to me and no, you're not losing your mind, although WD has you thinking you are.

 

I also tend to have the same obsessive, looping thoughts that come up, when in a wave. 

No shame in having a good cry.....I find it really helpful and am relieved that I can still cry, doesn't come as spontaneously as it would with non-drugged me, but it's still there.

This will all pass, Tom. You've had an injury, which will have also affected your nervous system... especially when it's fragile from WD. And also, there's the battle weariness from holding a long time. 

 

Anyway, sending good wishes that this current wave goes away soon. You do seem to be getting some good long windows, which is great!

 

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Tom37

Thanks @sunnysideup69

 

Definitely can relate to being scared of random weird things! Had that often in first 12 months but don’t seem to get it these days. I’m pretty sure it is wd and as we know wd magnifies everything.
 

Had my first pretty much symptom free window not too long ago so while that is positive it’s tough to then lurch backwards. Hopefully this depressive episode leaves soon and back to feeling mentally good.

 

Hopefully London is treating you well.

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Tom37

Another tough start to the day with this annoying depressive wave continuing. Stupid horrible thoughts in bed about always being like this etc which spiral out of control and just a general feeling of being upset. Normally if I’m upset about something I get grumpy or angry not start thinking that hurting my self is the best option or only way this will end.

 

I am though thinking it’s more wd causing this as I go from being ‘normal’ one moment to horrible thoughts the next. Even had tears in my eyes watching a marriage proposal on tv!..... Plus I have this physical feeling in me that is related to it. It’s like when you get jelly legs or a nervous tummy you feel anxious it’s like that but with depression. But until it stops will stress it’s the new ‘me’.
 

I looked back on my thread and saw had something similar a while ago but was more about being very very emotionally sensitive to everything which then just completely stopped after a good few weeks of it. 

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Tom37

Another night of no sleep so a great day ahead. Arm pain was there but also restless wd feeling do couldn’t lie in same place for 5 mins without needing to move. Hopefully better tonight. 

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Tom37

Managed to get through the day. So lucky I can work from home otherwise would have been out of a job a long time ago. Frustrating that my arm pain has changed and is a bit more sharper than it was. Changed after physio the other day so hoping that eases up. Do keep catastrophising about it all so working on that but easier said than done.

 

WD wise mentally been doing ok but just not feeling at all well. Current feeling I have started around 2.5 weeks ago and it waxes and wanes but doesn’t want to go. Today was probably the worst it’s been since it’s started. Hard to describe it but does make me feel inside shaky, terrible taste in mouth and stomach not normal plus the restlessness. Haven’t had anything like this stick around for so long for a long time. So demoralising after feeling so good before it. Trying to tell myself it’s something healing but I just want it to buggar off and let me feel half decent.

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ChessieCat
22 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

stomach not normal

 

Are you taking anti inflammatory tablets?

 

I was only able to take 3 days of prescribed anti inflammatory tablets because I ended up with a very upset stomach.  And I've been taking Ibuprofen (6 tablets per day) over the last week and this morning my stomach was a bit upset so I've stopped taking them because I suspect the Ibuprofen might be the cause.

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Dejavu

I'm sorry, Tom. I think your injury is making you more unstable right now. My friend had a bad bike accident last month. He broke his left shoulder, right wrist and tore his biceps on the right side. He is a guitar player and cannot use either of his arms at present. He is recuperating from surgery but it's going to be a very slow process. He is extremely depressed right now and anxious about not ever healing. And he's never taken any psych drugs. So it can't be underestimated how much your injury is contributing to your symptoms. And Chessie is right about NSAIDS. If you're taking any, it could be causing your stomach issues.

 

Remember that whether it's a brain or an arm, your body has everything it needs to heal. It's not unusual to have new pain or soreness after physical therapy. Just like WD, no pain, no gain. You will be all right, my friend. I just hate that you have to deal with all this at one time, but it will come right. It will.

 

Pam

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Tom37

Thanks @ChessieCat @Dejavu

 

I stopped taking ibuprofen 6 days ago as was getting a horrible dry mouth and thought my stomach feelings and everything else  may have been because of that as was feeling so good before I started feeling like this. Maybe it was and just hasn’t gone back to normal yet....who knows for sure. 
 

Yeah the injury definitely makes things harder to deal with but is what it is. This things are hard enough not in wd. Life really knows how to kick you when your down sometimes. Like I’ve always said I can suffer the symptoms and the pain it’s the functioning at the same time that is my biggest worry. Hopefully the new pain settles down for me.

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Tom37

Better night had with 4 to 5 hours sleep. Arm pain was better so that helped and restlessness also better. Still feeling like I have been wd wise but hopefully it’s a lighter day of symptom intensity. If these symptoms are wd a nice big short wave could be what I need as things always change after one of those.

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Dejavu

I'm very glad you slept a bit more. That's promising! 

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Tom37

Thanks @Dejavu hope your starting to feel a bit better but rest assure if not it will come. 
 

Wd wise felt better than yesterday but still same symptoms just less intense. Wish they would hurry up and go even if replaced by something else so at least know not permanent. 
 

Arm pain from neck has been bit better today as well but it seems to go like that. Apparently have to give it 3 months of conservative treatment then a steroid shot then if all fails then surgery. Not to concerned about need for surgery at moment it’s more the medications taken afterwards and what surgery would do to your nervous system and the wd recovery. 

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thelegend

Sounds like maybe coming out of a wave, that is great. I am still stuck in my wave, not sure it will ever end!

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Cigale

Hello @Tom37 - It’s good to hear that at least the WD symptoms are easing. Since I am in the Lexapro boat too, I have been wanting to tell you how much you continue to inspire me with your resilience and ability to work and keep moving forward through it all. As I am relatively new to this journey, I appreciate having the chance to learn from folks like you. Thank you. 

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