Tom37: Lexapro taper

[ChessieCat]

You're welcome.

 

If you can't have a shower before bed, you could wrap yourself in a wet towel or small sheet for a little while.  I experienced heat exhaustion from being outside on Christmas day and it took me several days to recuperate.  My skin felt okay, but I felt like my blood was hot.  I had difficulty getting cool.  I even got a large freezer block out and had it on my midriff area and then under my feet and then between my ankles but it didn't so much.  I was trying not to use the a/c because of the cost.  My daughter who has a first aid certificate told me that a wet sheet is used to cool people quickly.  FYI I gave up and turned on the a/c.

[Tom37]

So been to the doctor to get repeat prescription....feel like crying.

 

According to him I need to go straight back to 10mg and that will relieve all my symptom, I should my have wasted my time tapering and just go from 10 to 5mg then every other day then nothing. Need to work on my anxiety as that’s what is contributing to this. Asked about a short term sleep aid and he offered quintipine to take ‘as needed’.

 

I feel so upset about this....basically been told it’s nothing to do with the drugs.

 

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

IMPORTANT:  Please use Drug Interactions Checker to check for interaction.  I've already done the check but I think you need to do it.

 

You have to remember that you have not been sleeping properly.  Hopefully you will get a good night of sleep tonight and might feel a bit of improvement in the morning.

[Tom37]

Thanks but I didn’t take up the offer of it as no way I’m taking that drug. Just shows how incompetent some doctors are. Major interactions it seems.

 

Probably the worse gp visit ever.

 

He also said he has 3O years of experience so he basically knows more than any online/groups would ever know about medication.

 

Just felt so stupid being in there. 

 

This is has really got me down and at the moment can’t see any light at the end of this tunnel.

 

I’m guessing that no mod here agrees with going up to 10mg straight away? 

 

So sorry for needing help today.

 

[ChessieCat]

I am really pleased that you refused the quetiapine.  Kudos to you.  It's very easy when we are desperate to make a bad decision.

 

Your experience with the doctor is exactly why this site exists.  You are not the only one to have something like this happen.

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

At the moment you are feeling extremely sensitive due to tiredness.  As far as making a dose increase.  See what tomorrow brings.

 

It's time to pull out those non drug coping and relaxing techniques.  Try to do some relaxing tonight, calming music, inane TV, anything non drug to help you get some sleep.

 

Do you have any epsom salts?   Magnesium (click on link, type epsom in the search at top right, click on Topic and click the magnifying glass to find specific posts).   Have a bath with some in.  If no bath, put some water in a bucket with some and have a foot soak.  Even just a foot soak in cold water with no epsom salts might be nice.

 

You need to get through moment by moment at this time.  Yes it's hard, but it will soon be bed time.  If you can't read, have your wife read to you, or download something to listen to.

 

"See" you in the morning.  Let us know how you are.

[Tom37]

Another rough night.....only about 2 or three hours sleep. Kept getting these waves of feeling so ill come over me plus couldnt stop thinking about the situation.

[xyz]

Tom,

i know it is really hard, but try not to obsess too much over sleep. if you can lay down and rest, it is 70% the benefit.

your sleep will return once you stabilize. if you can't sleep, get up and use that time. it is not forever.

 

what situation are you upset about?

[jozeff]

Hi Tom,

 

I'm sorry you are having trouble sleeping. Sleep is important of course.

I had this a few months ago and the more I worried about the less I slept. Suddenly it went away and I slept like a baby again.

 

Try not to panic about it, you will sleep better again!

 

Cheers 

 

Jozeff

[mdwstrx]

Hi Tom.  Like you, my sleep is awful.  Same early morning wakings.  Usually around 1 and 3 am.

 

There is a wesbsite called Headspace that offers guided Mindful meditation.  One of the meditations I did was to enable myself to return to sleep. It worked the first night I did it.  Not the 2nd.  However, even though it isn't full proof to help one fall back asleep apparently, it does wonders to keep you mind from thinking about this ordeal.  It's pretty simple.  You relax, take several deep breaths and gently start counting backwards from 10,000 in your mind.  When an unwanted thought or feeling interrupts, gently acknowledge it (like you were brushing a glass with a feather, they said) then go back to counting. Yes, it sounds dumb.  But it keeps you focused on trying to think of the number rather than the illness.  The first night, I fell asleep as I kept messing up thinking of the next number.  It didn't matter. 

 

I tried again last night.  Although I couldn't get back to sleep, it kept my mind from fixating on the illness.  I just subscribed to Headspace for one month.  The mindful meditations have been helping me, I believe.

[Tom37]

Thanks guys..

 

absolutely dreadful today will flu type feelings....basically in bed.

 

hopefully at its peak - started yesterday. 

[Tom37]

Today has been very tough. This flu type feeling has nailed me. Seems up to version three on this symptom.  It doesn’t matter if you lie down on move it doesn’t get any better. Not like a normal virus. 

 

Just dont understand why I get all these physical symptoms, it’s so frustrating. Been almost two months now and the still keep hitting me. Had a really good day on Sunday then this. Trying to remember that this too shall pass and I will have better days again and hopefully eventually stabilise.

 

 

[Tom37]

Another day down. Maybe feeling really horrible with this flu type feeling at the moment but at least it looks like the aching bones and joints are basically gone. Been about 5 days now I think. Just have to get through this period and hopefully will have some better days a head....or a new symptom will come and take it’s place. Although starting to wonder if there are any other symptoms as feels like had them all! Im sure though I won’t be disappointed going by how this thing is going.

 

Did absolutely nothing today due to how ill I felt but I guess I can allow myself that once in a while.

[Altostrata]

There are a million symptoms. But at least it seems that one's behind you. It's a good sign that you've seen a little improvement.

 

Slow and steady, one foot in front of the other....

[Tom37]

Thanks Alto,

 

Yes seems there are a million symptoms. I just don’t seem to get proper windows like I did early on. I have better periods where while still not symptom free I feel better then sink right back down again like at the moment. Been there weeks since I was in a window which probably isn’t very long but feels like forever. Maybe the windows will stop and will be a gradual reduction in symptoms.

 

Got about 5 to 6 hours sleep last night yet still have no energy which is unlike me. Flu feeling is still there and head feels bit spaced out but has slightly eased. Will try to get out for some fresh air today but won’t be much I don’t think.

 

If this flu type part would go then would feel somewhat normal. 

 

Just want some consistency in how I feel.

[Tom37]

Another day almost done.

 

Still not feeling very good but bit better than yesterday. Tried to go out for a walk this morning but only lasting 20 mins and that was at the pace of an old man. Then went to the supermarket to get some essentials which I was feeling very horrible in, then home. Did do a little bit of work so don’t have to do much tomorrow and then have just been relaxing as just feel bad.

 

Definitely not as bad as yesterday though.

 

Its such a weird feeling being sick like this as I can feel the ‘real me’ behind the symptoms if that makes any sense.

Different than if you do have a virus or some other illness.

 

Symptoms flaring up a bit as I write this so time for some dinner.

[Tom37]

Struggling so much this morning with this whole thing.

 

Feel so weak for feeling like this.

 

Not coping just surviving.

 

 

[wantrelief]

Hi Tom - I am so sorry you are struggling so much this morning.  When I read what you wrote my immediate response in my mind was surviving is coping.  I am also very sorry you are feeling weak for feeling as you do.  You are the opposite of weak....getting through this takes an immense amount of strength.  Keep on hanging in there, Tom.

[Altostrata]

On 1/4/2019 at 10:51 AM, Tom37 said:

Got about 5 to 6 hours sleep last night yet still have no energy which is unlike me. Flu feeling is still there and head feels bit spaced out but has slightly eased. Will try to get out for some fresh air today but won’t be much I don’t think.

 

15 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Definitely not as bad as yesterday though.

 

Very gradual, frustrating stabilization is "normal" in your situation. See

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

 

Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement

[Tom37]

Thanks Alto.....it’s just so hard not knowing how long this is going to take.

 

Better day (relatively) then bad day, good sleep then poor sleep.....so frustrating.

 

Just trying to remain hopeful that it will settle down.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Your gradual improvement is very promising.

[mdwstrx]

Hi Tom, 

Right there with you.  Most importantly, regardless of what our mind tells us, believe (as in fake it til we make it) that this IS temporary and accept that for now, we're in recovery (not weak).  I found this link on SA this morning.  npanth blog on Waves and Windows in SSRI Withdrawal  Not only is the article helpful  but he also has others on his blog that I found informative.  If you haven't, I encourage you to check it out when you can.  Praying for stabilization for us both and for healing for all on this site.  

[eymen23]

13 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

Thanks Alto.....it’s just so hard not knowing how long this is going to take.

 

Totally with you there Tom, try your best to keep hanging in there. It’s good that you’re having some better days, they might serve as a reminder that things aren’t always difficult and that life is/can be good. 

 

If you can, perhaps try and think of the bad days as a form of healing. A little like catharsis if you will. That way, you may fee they’re less of a nuisance, and more of a necessary step to your goal of feeling great. 

 

I’m hopeful for you! 

[Tom37]

Thanks guys...hope your doing ok.

 

Actually starting feeling better mentally once I got up. Had a poor sleep not helped by the heat, noise and just couldn’t get comfortable due to how I was feeling. Couple hours is better than nothing though.

 

The ‘flu type’ feeling that has been bad the last three days as gone into hiding today but has left the body feeling really tired so other than quick trip to supermarket not been doing much. 

 

Trying to remain positive and focusing on each day at a time and realising that while may be two months into this could be a few more months before things do start to settle. Always working on acceptance but think that would be alot easier if felt a bit better consistently. At least a lot of symptoms have come and definitely gone apart from the flu type feeling which seems to be a recurring feature! How many variations of it is possible!😩😂

 

I do stress about this illness and it potentially meaning I have to leave my job if things don’t improve but I guess when you look at the big picture of life then it is ‘only’ a job and because we all heal from this (this better be true!) plenty of time to start again if needed....and we are lucky financially that not working will be ok.

 

Thats me for today....hopefully anyone who reads this is well.

 

 

[ChessieCat]

31 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

meaning I have to leave my job if things don’t improve

 

Would you be able to reduce your hours?  Get the job changed to job share?  Or a temp be put on for a short term period?  That would be much better than leaving the work force completely.  It would give you purpose and a routine.  It can be very difficult once out of the work force to get back into it.  And it's not just the getting the job that can be the issue, I found that I lost a lot of confidence after being made redundant.  And even if you did manage to obtain work it might be worse than the current job.  Just some things to consider.

[bubble]

Great points by Chessie. Also, look into possibility of working from home a few days a week (I want to look into that one myself).

 

On the other hand, things will really get better. At first healing is slow but than it picks up. You are developing some very good coping skills and attitudes there. This whole experience is a major (if unwanted) lesson in acceptance. Tara Brach is my favorite at the moment: it is possible to turn the mud (the horrors of WD) into a lotus (something positive, a new strength that will be for us for the whole life). So we are not (only) stuck in the mud and wasting our lives but growing a lotus and growing.

[Tom37]

Thanks guys.....

 

Had another 5 or so hours sleep last night but did take ages to get to sleep. Was hot and due to symptoms hard to get comfortable.

 

Actually feel better today. The flu type feeling has gone and the tiredness from yesterday is a lot better. Wasn’t even ‘shaky’ this morning. Still feel bit weird in my body and bit of a headache and feel a bit ‘off’ but it’s way more tolerable than the flu issue.

 

So in the office this morning and it’s going  fine so far. Just hate the thought of how tomorrow will be.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Yay, sleep is improving. If I were you, I'd learn some of these techniques to manage that habit of worrying, it could get you into trouble:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms
 

[ChessieCat]

Here are some other helpful resources:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/anxiety.htm

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/gad.htm

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm

 

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

 

[Tom37]

Thanks guys.....I think once I hopefully get to the point where the symptoms (no matter what they are) are tolerable enough to work as normal etc then the worry about tomorrow will start to ease.

 

But it is something I’m definitely working on at the moment so thanks for the links.

[Altostrata]

Worry is understandable, Tom. We have to make the extra effort so as to keep our nervous systems steady.

[Tom37]

Hello,

 

So almost end of another day. Managed a full day in the office so that was really good. Actually felt mentally fine, even to go as far as to say like before this all happened. Physically I wasn’t ‘right’ but it wasn’t a struggle was just I guess annoying and a reminder that while felt good still feel like a million miles away from being normal again. Did have the odd thought of ‘what about tomorrow’ or ‘ don’t get too excited as you will go backwards again’ but doing my best to work on challenging them. Never create physical anxiety symptoms just thoughts that are there and are annoying.

 

Current symptoms today are a weird feeling that’s kinda of like a body ache but not really and that did give me bit of a headache earlier but wd headaches are always different than normal ones and never as bad just annoying. Weird in that feel it in the top of my knees/thighs and the head....if that wasn’t there would have felt great. Best thing about today was the ‘shaking’ feeling wasnt there at all this morning which is never extreme or anything but makes me feel nervous. Physically not shaking so you can’t see it but feels like you are a bit inside.

 

Was thinking before that these physical symptoms can’t last forever! Surely they can’t! Maybe I’m in an ‘acute’ stage and they will start to ease up in time but I guess with this you never know. At least I’m lucky enough so far that any chemical anxiety has been fleeting and very minor.

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Something to keep in mind and it might be a good idea to try consciously go over the day whilst you are still awake and then do some wind down things to calm your mind.  Because after a big day like you've had you can end up reliving the day when you are trying to go to sleep.

[DaveB]

20 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

 At least I’m lucky enough so far that any chemical anxiety has been fleeting and very minor.

 

And that my friend is something to be thankful though. I don’t have your physical symptoms, but I have plenty of chemical anxiety, and it is absolutely horrific!

[Tom37]

Hello,

 

So had another night of about 5 hours sleep which is enough for me. Still finding it taking a long time to get to sleep. I guess I have been thinking about how I’m feeling physically while in bed and that does make it harder to relax. Worst fear I have is ‘what if I lose the ability to sleep’ as a symptom of this. 

 

Actually feel a lot better physically today apart from feeling a little ‘wobbly’ in the legs. No head issues at all, no flu feeling, no other issues really. 

 

Unfortunately mentally feeling drained from this whole situation....the usual thoughts of will this ever resolve etc....I guess that’s fairly normal at times when dealing with a difficult situation. It’s a shame too as feeling a lot better physically.....it’s the up and down of the symptoms that does it.

[RachelSusan]

8 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

Worst fear I have is ‘what if I lose the ability to sleep’ as a symptom of this. 

That is indeed one of the worst fears ever.  I've been there.  I am now over the worst of it and I sleep very well these days.  A random difficult night when I taper but over all it's really good. I hope my success might alleviate your fears.

 

You sound like you are improving.  This is good.

 

RS

[Tom37]

Thanks Rachel,

 

I got that I think from seeing the odd rare other story of it happening to them so if it can happen to them then it is possible.

 

So try to challenge the though as it is unlikely to happen and more realistic senario is the odd night of poor or no sleep when symptoms are bad. Also if it did happen then it’s a symptom that will pass.

 

Yes nice to feel better physically...kinda felt like a ballon being released of air last night when started feeling better....body just started feeling relaxed...just need it all to come together on the one day!