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Kernol: was doing well on my sertraline taper but now in hell and doc reinstated


Kernol

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Hi @Altostrata what is your best guess as to why I am deteriorating these last couple of months? I haven’t changed anything and I am getting extremely concerned with the intensification of existing symptoms and the start of new symptoms. I appreciate your help in trying to know whether given my deterioration it is worth holding or am I never likely to stabilise now? I honestly don’t know what to do.

 

i used to get at least a slight lessening of anxiety symptoms in the evening but now I am not even getting that respite the last couple of weeks. It’s like something has turned on me

 

 

7/3

 

8.00am chills and nausea and hypersalivation is back. All my skin feels stinging and burning across my whole body not just in usual patches 

8.30am have shower feet are vibrating still. So nauseous and feel very strong electric anxiety on stomach and major despair. Vomit up water 

9.00am.  take 2mg diazepam 

10.00am nausea and chills have calmed a little so manage a small oat smoothie
11.00am walk around the block feel intense anxiety dread and doom and my skin is burning And stinging so come back deflated 

12.00pm nausea is ramping up again and the chills

1.00pm take 1mg diazepam 

1.45pm nausea slightly less and chills slightly less. 
2.00pm take 16mg sertraline 
2.45pm anxiety is bad I can’t stand the noise of a lawnmower outside it reminds me of the past and I get strong electric anxiety in stomach chest. Try and breathe through it 

3.30pm walk to local shop and my teeth start chattering uncontrollably and violently - I can’t stop them. I can’t go in shop as too embarrassing.

4.00pm feel so confused and hopeless as I don’t know what is happening to my mind and body and why I am so much worse now

5.00pm have Epsom salt bath 
6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam

6.40pm have some dinner 

7.00pm can feel my whole body starting to burn and all my skin is stinging. nausea Ramps up again with hypersalivation. I can feel a trippy feeling starting and I am so hot so hot even though it’s not hot in the house 

8.00pm it is getting worse and I have a headache and chills. Tv is making me feel awful Chemical acid trip feeling 

9.00pm lights out but too hot to sleep

10.30pm still hot and anxiety is electric and awful

11.30pm - 4am sleep but in and out as my skin feels like it’s on fire and I have intense painful pins and needles in my face which wakes me 

5.00am teeth clenching bad and strong cortisol rushes 

 

* no de ja vu

*derealisation not too bad 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Administrator

Kernol, we're in deep discussion about your situation but the drug history in your signature is very confusing without the years (2018? 2019?) of the major drug changes. Please edit your signature right away and enter the year of major events (not necessary for the dosage reduction steps).

 

Then, please put major events in chronological order, not grouped by drug.

 

Here are instructions for editing your signature Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

 

Key questions: What happened after you crossed over to diazepam in February 2019 (is that the correct year?)? In September 2019, did you take lorazepam WITH diazepam? What happened after that?

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks so much @Altostrata I appreciate your help and guidance. I have updated my signature. I hope it makes more sense. 
 

I did cross over from lorazepam to diazepam in Feb 2019 - I didn’t notice any specific withdrawal symptoms I just found it less effective on the anxiety than the lorazepam but then I was also tapering sertraline at the same time. I did have agitation/ akathisia from April - September which I no longer have but again that could be more to do with my aggressive sertraline taper than the diazepam taper. 
 

In September 2019 I took Lorazepam instead of diazepam and found it to be effective on my anxiety due to my destabilisation from the sertraline. When I stopped and returned to the diazepam I had a few days of intense panic attacks at night and some restless legs at night but again I was also in a severe state from the sertraline dose changes and I had also reduced vortioxetine as well so I guess it is impossible to tell what caused what. 
 

my severe destabilisation and subsequent symptoms of intrusive memories, chemical terror, Bruxism, visual disturbances all started prior to me taking the lorazepam in September - they started when I dropped to 8mg sertraline. I have journaled it that the bruxism started on 10 August. 
 

I don’t know if that helps 
 

 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

On 9/23/2019 at 5:03 AM, Kernol said:

This is my first post since I wrote about coming off setraline in Nov 18 and then all the nasty withdrawals kicked in and so I was put back on setraline and ramped up to 150mg telling me I was in relapse not withdrawal  along with 20mg of diazepam a day. So some 10 months later I have cut down a lot and have suffered a lot  but I have done two stupid things - too fast taper at end and a reinstatement too high. I am  suffering from terrible burning sensations, increasing constant unrelenting anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia/nightmares, vice like headaches, episodes of derealisation and random memory recalls. It has never been as bad as it is now since they put me back up on it at the beginning of the year so I am certain it is sertraline and I dropped too quick and then reinstated too much. Have I now damaged my brain forever I am so scared it will not stabilise from this awful mess? I know it got better when it happened early in the year but what if it doesn’t this time? I feel without hope

 

Kernol, this post describes how you were back in September. Are your symptoms any worse now than they were back then? Are your symptoms the same intensity now, but you're dealing with battle fatigue and simply exhausted from being so sick for so long? 

 

I'm just trying to gage where you're at overall. Please post your thoughts on this. 

 

 

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Hi @Shep they are worse as I now have worse off the scale derealisation, the Chemical feeling anxiety is now out of control in that I used to be able to function a bit whilst the diazepam had an effect during the day so a couple of hours in the morning it would dampen it and then after the evening dose I would have some level of respite usually. I don’t seem to be getting that anymore and I now have new symptoms such as the nausea, vomiting, burning all over, chills and shivers which have been with me since last Thursday. The inner vibrations started in my feet about two weeks ago and haven’t left. When I take the diazepam the nausea and chills seem to calm down a tiny bit. I also have such burning hotness during the night for the last week like my body temperature is completely out. The cortisol rushes in the early hours are also much stronger like I almost feel like my chest is going to explode from the intensity and they feel so electrified. 
 

I had battle fatigue before this escalation but this is definitely a worsening of symptoms. I think the lack of the respite in the evenings is also a factor as that used to give me some relief and the ability to think I could get through the next day. Of course the new symptoms and intensification of existing symptoms when I haven’t changed anything is also feeding my hopelessness. I just don’t understand what is going on. 
 

It seems like overall things have been getting progressively worse since mid January. 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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On 3/6/2020 at 5:38 PM, sunnysideup69 said:

Kernol, been catching up on your thread. Sending you good thoughts and wishes for some stabilisation soon.


thank you so much @sunnysideup69 - so kind of you to give me good wishes. I hope some respite comes soon. 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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Hi Kernol,

 

Wish there were something I could say to help and comfort you.  Just want to let you know I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

 

🙏 Terry

2007 - 2008          Paxil and Klonopin

2008 - 2012           Mirtazapine following CT from Klonopin and Paxil.  

2012                       Unsuccessful taper of mirtazapine; reinstated.     

7/2013 - 1/2014   Successfully tapered mirtazapine from 7.5 mg to 0.00.

 

Sertraline (Zoloft) Taper  Aug 4, 2017 - July 18, 2021 - Current dose 0.00

Alprazolam (Xanax)  July 19, 2017 - Nov 15, 2021 0.25 mg.

Began 10% taper  Nov 16, 2021 - 0.25  Jan 11, 2022 - 0.203;  Jan 13, 2023 - 0.0499;  Jan 21, 2024 - 0.0137;  Mar 17, 2024 - 0.0099;  Taper is 96% complete.

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10 hours ago, Terry said:

Hi Kernol,

 

Wish there were something I could say to help and comfort you.  Just want to let you know I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

 

🙏 Terry


thank you so much @Terry so kind of you

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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15 hours ago, Kernol said:


thank you so much @sunnysideup69 - so kind of you to give me good wishes. I hope some respite comes soon. 

 

❤️ 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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8/3 

 

8.00am wake feel very hot and stinging in head feel some strong derealisation. Vision blurred 

8.30am get in shower - derealisation is still strong. Sun is out always intensifies it which makes me sad. Feel nauseous and have hypersalivation but no vomiting. Skin is stinging and burning  around my torso 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam. Have oat smoothie - manage to keep it down 
9.45am derealisation calmed a little - still feel lots of emotional anguish. Nausea still present but less chills/shivers than previous days

10.00am manage a couple of work emails 

11.00am put some laundry on

12.00pm nausea ramps up a bit and start to feel lots of burning stinging skin 
1.00pm Strong emotions coming - dark doomy feelings and also strong chemical electric anxiety. Take 1mg diazepam 

2.00pm take 16mg sertraline. Psychologist visits. He encourages me to go out more but I just can’t see the point in this state as I always feel worse afterwards 

3.00pm empty dishwasher. Anxiety is marginally less.

4.00pm do some work emails. Get a couple of intrusive memories with strong chemical dread. Breathe through them 

5.00pm feel a bit more like my house is my house. This makes me feel a bit better

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam. Have dinner 

7.00pm feeling less suicidal ideation now as feel more familiar in my surroundings. Still have nausea but no chills 

8.00pm get some intrusive memories and some chemical anxiety with them 

9.00pm lights out. I am very hot in bed and skin is burning but I feel so relieved that I had an hour or two of feeling less derealisation and more present 

10.30pm -4.00am sleep ok although waking very hot. 
5.00am strong cortisol rushes and teeth slamming down

7.00am feel disoriented and derealisation is strong on waking and I feel disappointed as I thought it had lessened a bit for a couple of hours in evening 

 

 

9/3

8.00am strong derealisation so get up and feel like I’m in a dream like state - scared of this and feel desperate nothing is going to get better. Tell myself I can’t know this 

8.30am have shower. Feel nauseous and have hypersalivation but no vomiting. Skin is stinging and burning 

9.00am feel so hot. My palms are boiling and I’m overheating even though it’s not warm in house - hormones??? Take 2mg diazepam 

9.45am have oat smoothie. Feel electric anxiety and dread and derealisation 

10.30am do a couple of work emails. Nausea is bit better and no chills so far 

11.45am feel the strong doomy dread chemical feeling rising 

12.30pm nausea is a bit worse 

1.00pm feel really tired. Take 1mg diazepam. Manage a tuna salad. Keep it down although nauseous and hypersalivation while eating it  

2.00pm on my own so start to pace a bit. Take 16mg sertraline 

3.00pm am lethargic today feel tired behind eyes and no energy. Splash water on my face 
4.00pm strong electric chemical anxiety surge in chest when looking at a photo of an open field. Upset these bizarre reactions to things are still with me. 
5.00pm head starts to tingle with electricity 

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam 

6.45pm feel a tiny bit calmer but still feel overwhelming depression and SI is present 
8.00pm dial into Baylissa’s q&a call. Feel ok listening even though some of the stories are harrowing. Her positivity helps me a bit.

9.00pm lights out. Again burning hot in bed. I am seriously wondering if this is perimenopause? skin is burning and stinging too which is always intensified if my body is hot

10.30 - 2.00am sleep okay but keep waking in heat

3.00am have nightmare and night sweats and feeling of awful electric chemical anxiety tuning through me, feel disorientated and so scared. Try and keep awake to calm down.

4.00am can’t get back to sleep. Cortisol rushes have started and teeth slamming down hard 
 

 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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@Altostrata @Shep


 

10/3

 

8.00am feel quite tired wish I could sleep but cortisol rushes every couple of minutes waking me. when I awaken I feel so peculiar derealisation high state of anxiety but not too much doom more amped up with the strong derealisation. Nausea is better. No chills 

8.30am have shower still feel very strong cortisol feeling of anxiety and derealisation 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam. Have oat smoothie

10.00am open computer no work to do. Still feel very high derealisation and amped feeling strong anxiety in chest 

11.00am Deep breathing. Feel very alone in house and my thoughts are constantly on how I’m feeling. Try and distract by putting recycling out and doing a bit of vacuuming 

12.00pm start to feel more dread and chemical doom feelings as I try and watch tv. Some flashbacks. Manage a tuna roll

1.00pm take 1mg diazepam. Do a couple of work emails. Still getting a few flashbacks and also ruminating on my situation and what’s happened over last 15 months. Feel grief and intense fear over how I’ve even survived like this. tell myself I will heal 

2.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

3.00pm still getting strong dread and trying to calm myself down

4.00pm same dread and having to breathe deeply a lot when the surges are strong 

5.00pm waiting for my diazepam dose time to come. Hate that I have to rely on this to lessen this even a tiny bit 

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam.

6.40pm The flashbacks are still there but the sting is less. Manage to eat dinner 

7.30pm watch football on tv but not really watching it I’m ruminating again on my situation. I can’t seem to free myself from this at the moment. Still feels like survival mode

9.45pm lights out. Very hot all over

10.45pm wake up with bad nightmare and night sweats. Strong anxiety and burning 

12.30am wake up from another nightmare with strong anxiety cold sweats and skin burning 

4.00am cortisol rushes start and my teeth start to really slam down 

 

*nausea vomiting and chills much better. I wonder if it was hormones although was beginning of cycle but I do believe my hormones are all over the place

*derealisation still high especially in mornings

*feet still vibrating on inside  

*skin burning and stinging still strong

*bruxism severe 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 3/9/2020 at 6:57 AM, Kernol said:

I don’t seem to be getting that anymore and I now have new symptoms such as the nausea, vomiting, burning all over, chills and shivers which have been with me since last Thursday.

 

6 minutes ago, Kernol said:

*nausea vomiting and chills much better. I wonder if it was hormones although was beginning of cycle but I do believe my hormones are all over the place

 

Kernol, any chance you may have had the flu? 

 

 

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Hi @Shep it didn’t really feel like the flu so I don’t think so. 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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Hi @Shep yes I did check and I did not have a fever 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks for your response, Kernol. Since the symptoms of nausea, vomiting, and chills are better, perhaps it was hormones, as you mention, or perhaps a wave.

 

Hopefully you'll see more improvements as these symptoms resolve. If the GI issues kept you from eating well, just getting back to a regular diet may also bring some relief from symptoms. 

 

On 3/6/2020 at 10:30 AM, Kernol said:

*one of the very few days in 15 months that I have been too sick mentally to open my computer and do any work 

 

You mentioned last week you were too sick to work, but it looks like you're making progress in this area too and are able to respond to emails again. 

 

This is progress. I know it's painfully slow, but hopefully this wave is working its way out. 

 

 

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Thanks @Shep I hope so too. I am just very concerned that I have not had a window from any of these symptoms aside from that brief 1 week honeymoon period when I came off the  vortioxetine in early December and then another brief lessening in some of them for a week at the beginning of January. Since then it’s been just waves within waves. Do you still think there is hope for me reaching any kind of lessening of symptoms/ stabilisation by holding? Have you seen others stabilise after this amount of time? I haven’t touched the sertraline or diazepam since September 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I don't know, Kernol. I'd like to get Alto's take on this, but I am wondering if you may be better off doing a very slow micro-taper off these drugs. Some people do reach the point of kindling and battle fatigue to the point where stability may not come. And continuing to hold and get more and more exhausted may be the worse of your options. You may be better off slowly removing these drugs and doing as much self care as you can to handle the uptick in symptoms. 

 

Please post your thoughts on this. It will be helpful for us all to be on the same page.

 

Like I said, I'd like to get Alto's take, as well. 

 

 

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Hi @Shep Part of me wants to taper off the sertraline because I just can’t see how it’s going to stabilise now plus I suppose psychologically I would feel I was taking a step closer to being free of it. I had hoped for some calming down of some of the symptoms by now  but it just hasnt happened  although I don’t know whether 3 months off vortioxetine is enough time for my CNS to stabilise from that?
 

The other part of me has seen others doing slow micro tapers and getting even worse mental symptoms and for years as they are doing such slow tapers and not having windows and that is the bit I’m terrified of as I am barely surviving with what I am already contending with. 
 

i am also worried about being on diazepam for an even longer period of time than I already have been and I suppose I had this hope that if things stabilised from my sertraline destabilisation I might be able to get off the diazepam but I don’t think there is any way I can get off that if I am going to do a slow taper off sertraline unless by some miracle I am granted some lessening of symptoms. 
 

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place and I have made so many mistakes by doing so many changes in the past I honestly don’t know what to do. However I feel there has to be a cut off point in my waiting for stabilisation as I can’t keep on indefinitely. 
 

you know sometimes I even wonder whether my brain wants more sertraline as I encountered problems  both times I went below 25mg and maybe a slow updose would help. I wouldn’t even care if I had to stay on 25mg if I thought it would stabilise but that is probably a very simplistic view of things.

 

 

I will be interested to see what @Altostrata thinks 

 

thank you for all your help 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Administrator

Kernol, as you can see, we're puzzled.

 

My feeling is you are having withdrawal symptoms rather than an adverse reaction to either sertraline or diazepam. One possibility is the relationship between sertraline and diazepam has shifted. As we've discussed, the 3 drugs you were taking interact. One way they interact is that they compete for your liver enzymes for metabolization.

 

I did an analysis of the liver enzyme usage (the enzymes are called P450 cyp enzymes) -- each of the 3 drugs utilizes several enzymes -- and found a lot of overlap among them.

 

When you take away a drug, the metabolization of the other drugs changes. My guess is, when you took vortioxetine away, there was a little bit left in your body for about a week, then the other 2 drugs started to share the enzymes differently. Removal of vortioxetine may have caused faster metabolization of possibly either or both sertraline and diazepam. This gives the effect of a dosage decrease.

 

In addition, you might be a fast metabolizer via cyp2C19, which may account for why you prefer to take diazepam several times a day -- you're processing it quickly. All 3 drugs relied strongly on cyp2C19, this enzyme might have gotten freed up a bit without vortioxetine and is working harder to eliminate sertraline and diazepam.

 

My guess is you might try increasing diazepam by 0.5mg -- reinstating the decrease you made before. You'd have to see what happens and let us know how you're doing.

 

To my mind, this is preferable to trying an increase in sertraline or reinstatement of a tiny amount of vortioxetine. Please do not worry about the diazepam. It is not any more evil a drug than any of the others.

 

Because of the fierce competition between sertraline and diazepam for 4 liver enzymes, when you lower the sertraline dosage, you may also experience a functional tapering of diazepam. If increasing the diazepam a little at this point works, you can rest for a bit and then we'll talk about a sertraline microtaper.

 

On 3/10/2020 at 3:51 AM, Kernol said:

Psychologist visits. He encourages me to go out more but I just can’t see the point in this state as I always feel worse afterwards 

 

Please get out, even if it's only walking around the block or your own garden.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi @Altostrata first of all thank you so much for doing all that research and taking the time to look into this for me - I appreciate it so much.

 

it makes a lot of sense that this is a withdrawal reaction from the changing of the state of play from the removal of Vortioxetine. My gut feeling is that this feels like a sertraline withdrawal reaction - I have started the updose in diazepam to see if it helps. I will say that things are changing in terms of the mental symptoms - not improving just changing over the last couple of days but I never know whether this is a good sign or not. I keep going and hope for the best. 
 

11/3

 

8.00am lying in bed with very strong derealisation but no dark dread or doom. More high amped up hyper alert state with strong disorientation 

8.30am going in and out of sleep/wake state with cortisol rushes very strong so I must wake myself up or they get stronger

9.00am feel strong derealisation house feels so unfamiliar. Get myself into shower take 2mg diazepam. Notice burning is worse than yesterday on my torso. Feet still vibrating inside 
10.00am have oat bran no appetite but nausea is not present thank goodness 

10:30am walk to corner shop in hyper vigilant state and derealisation 

11.00am still feel Amped up and derealisation but no dark dread or doom feelings 

12.00pm starting to get more anxious now have to deep breathe as everything looks so surreal around me 

1.00pm take 1mg diazepam. No appetite but manage half a protein bagel 

1.30pm still not calming down but noticed I have not had any acid trip type chemical surges today 

2.00pm do a couple of work emails take 16mg sertraline 

3.00pm have virtual consultation with new psychiatrist that was recommended to me as he had some experience of withdrawals. He does a full psychiatric history which I find a bit traumatic. He says he believes me that I am suffering withdrawals and that he is ashamed of the way other psychiatrists have treated me. Not sure about his withdrawal experience as didn’t get time to ask him questions but will see for next appt whether he does know anything.

5.00pm husband says he is going to supermarket and I say I will come with him - spur of the moment decision. I get in car and we drive there but I start to feel panicky and paranoid so stay in car while he goes in. Hyper vigilant panic state like everyone and everything is threatening. 
5.30pm return home in state And disappointed I couldn’t go in the shop. 
6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam 

7.00pm have dinner and calm a little 

8.00pm watch football on tv

10.00pm lights out 

11.00pm-4am boiling hot keep waking and some nightmares with strong stinging back burning on waking 

5.00am cortisol rushes and teeth slamming start 

7.00am in and out of sleep/wake state derealisation extremely high and cortisol rushes very strong 

 

*no nausea or chills only a few shivers 

*no dark doom feeling which is unusual 

*high derealisation and some panic/paranoia

*burning skin medium 

*no acid trip like chemical surges 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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12/3

 

8.00am lying in bed with very strong derealisation but no dark dread or doom. More high amped up hyper alert state with strong disorientation 

8.30am going in and out of sleep/wake state with cortisolrushes very strong/derealisation 

9.00am have shower and take 2mg diazepam

10.00am have oat smoothie. Feel less derealisation 

11.00am manage some work emails. Strong stomach churning and dread about future but no checmial surges 

12.00pm starts to build up a bit to a more chemical feel with some nausea and hypersalivation 

1.00pm take 1.5mg diazepam. Have salad for lunch 

2.00pm Spikes of anxiety coming at usual triggers - tv etc. but not as horrific as last week. take 16mg sertraline 

3.00pm do some more work and make a cup of tea. 
4.00pm feeling not too bad, anxiety and churning ever present but not chemical terror 

5.00pm feeling fairly pleased that I have nearly tolerated the day without overwhelming distress 

5.15pm all of a sudden from nowhere a chemical surge of anxiety spikes and I feel nauseated l, derealisation, intrusive memories all come at once. Feel I might vomit but don’t. Hypersalivation and nausea continues With extreme chemical anxiety

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam. Do deep breathing and try and calm down. Still feel some time travelling and derealisation with nausea and hypersalivation. 
7.00pm eat dinner, still nauseous, anxiety calmed a tiny bit 

8.00pm manage to watch some tv in bed. Burning skin and hot temperature all over especially knees red and hot 

9.00pm  lights out. 
10.00pm-3.00am very restless sleep as so hot (it is not hot in the room), skin burning quite intense on waking. Multiple nightmares 

4.00am awake with cortisol rushes, feel depressed, teeth clenching very severe 

5.00am-7.00am in and out of toxic sleep wake state. Very hot with burning skin

 

*less derealisation 

*only brief intrusive memories 

*skin burning severe

*bruxism severe

*feet vibrating most of the day 

*some nausea returning 

*better than this time last week 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Administrator

Yes, that does sound better. I am relieved. It could be your drug metabolism has settled down, or you've accommodated to the different balance of sertaline and diazepam.

 

Are you doing deep breathing meditation through anxiety spikes? I think you'll find this helpful, I did.

 

It appears you get a normal cortisol surge around 4 a.m., which is causing the bruxism. You've darkened your bedroom, you keep it cool, you're using a sleep mask, etc.?

 

I'm glad you found a psychiatrist who is understanding. He may need to write some special prescriptions for your taper.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi @Altostrata it seems to be swinging around yesterday not so good. I will get a sleep mask and I am going to use the fan at night even though my husband is already cold.

 

just so I have some idea: if I was to micro taper The sertraline  - what would you suggest that would look like? And is it a given that I will definitely get an uptick in symptoms if I do? That’s the one thing I am terrified of is getting worse mental symptoms as I am barely hanging on with the ones I have and that keeps me stuck waiting for stabilisation that I’m not sure is going to happen for me now - when I look at since my sertraline crash in September I have not seen any improvement in the mental symptoms or bruxism or skin burning or anything else so I just can’t see how it will happen for me now.

 

13/3

 

8.00am strong derealisation and electric feeling of anxiety in my chest and stomach very strong like I’m plugged into the mains. Very hot and lots of burning stinging skin on torso

9.00am have shower. Feel lots of stomach churning dread and nerves feel so electric. 

Take 2mg diazepam. Electric feeling a little less. Have oat smoothie. Feel a little nauseated with hypersalivation but not as bad as last week

10.00am try and look at crossword but dread and strong anxiety in my stomach means I lose interest and have to walk around. Derealisation not too bad

11.00am clean bathroom despite dread feeling. Few feelings of chemical anxiety come with unrelated random memories like my brain is misfiring 

12.00pm dread is strong and I can’t get out of my head what is in store for me and whether I even have a future. Try and tell myself to take one day at a time but I feel so trapped in this mess
1.00pm manage some rice cakes as no appetite. Skin burning is present but not too painful. Take 1.5mg diazepam 

1.30pm scared that with my next menstrual cycle I am going to go into that black hole again and have the awful nausea and vomiting again I’m fearing that now too. Tell myself it may not happen this month 

2.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

3.00pm do some more cleaning and vacuuming. Still feel dread and getting some spikes of weird chemical anxiety and unrelated half formed memories that come at same time. Makes my derealisation worse 

4.00pm a tiny bit calmer. Able to hold a conversation ok 

5.00pm feel a bit nauseated again with hypersalivation and seems to coincide with bizarre chemical anxiety with these half formed memories of places. Feel like I could vomit but don’t 

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam. Manage small dinner 
7.00pm a tiny bit calmer but the knees are starting to heat up and burn 

8.00pm hot all over, burning. Trying to deep breathe and do some positive affirmations 

9.00pm had enough of the day so try for sleep

11.00pm so hot I’m in a cold sweat though as well.

12.00pm -3.00am waking with anxiety rushes and disorientation - don’t know what day it is. teeth are clenched

4.00am cortisol rushes and derealisation 

5.00am feel sick with dread on waking from intense cortisol rush off the charts. Random memories all going off. 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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hi @Altostrata  where do I go from here? I don’t know what to do for the best. 
 

 

14/3

 

8.00am skin burning and stinging like I have Chinese burns on me. Strong dread and depression and chemical anxiety. I cry to my husband that I can’t go on

9.00am have shower. I’m very hot my body is boiling even though it’s cool in the house. Take 2mg diazepam. Dread and depression and anxiety high. Have oat smoothie

10.00am put laundry on and wonder how on earth I am going to get through the day the anxiety in my stomach feels like every nerve ending is broken and it’s almost painful it’s so intense 

11.30am mood is still very low I just cant see how I am going to get better. I try and hold on to success stories but recovery seems such a remote possibility for me now. A few random memories come with a shot of horror. I breathe through these and tell myself it’s normal in withdrawal 

12.00pm No appetite for lunch. 
1.00pm take 1.5mg diazepam. I can’t focus on anything I try deep breathing and positive affirmations but nothing is lifting the despair

2.00pm take 16mg sertraline. My skin is still burning and hurting a lot of intensity today and my teeth hurt from all the clenching 

3.00pm I do some dusting. My face is stinging and tingling. I feel deep strong depression in my stomach and anxiety over my situation 
4.00pm I feel more chemical anxiety spiking now on top of the despair it feels unbearable 

5.00pm I cry to my husband I try so hard not to be fearful of the future but I just can’t figure out a way out, do I need more sertraline less sertraline will I get worse withdrawals if I taper will I be one of those that never recovers I have been kindled so I have a worse prognosis - all running through my mind continually I cant think of anything else 

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam. Still very distressed 

7.00pm tiny bit calmer but not like I used to get after the evening dose - it’s not respite. I manage some dinner

8.00pm try some deep breathing on bed. Can feel my knees starting to burn 

9.00pm get into bed and my whole body is on fire burning and stinging like ive been burnt by something and I’m so so hot like my blood is boiling yet it is cool in room 

11.00pm fall to sleep

3.00am wake up and feel no terror 

5.00am wake up teeth clenched burning hot all over even though it’s cool in the room and the anxiety and cortisol is high with a feeling of dread and depression

 

*derealisation low except for when random memories and terror came

*depression despair and relentless anxiety high 

*skin burning and pain high

*teeth clenching severe

*body temperature at night like blood boiling 

*feet still vibrating inside 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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I’m trying to think of something/anything that might help.  The blood-boiling/high body temperature is a relatively new symptom, yeah?  
 

I mean, it almost sounds like intense hot flashes on top of all the withdrawal symptoms.  
 

Last night I was doing the tapping on the karate-chop part of my hand Baylissa mentions in her book plus the affirmations at the same time and also the affirmations out loud.  

1999-2006 Luvox, xanax

2007-2009 Prozac, xanax, klonopin

2009-2018 Zoloft, xanax, klonopin

2019 January zoloft 150mg, February 100mg, April 75mg, mid-May 50mg, July 25mg, (xanax .5mg or .25mg as needed)

August zoloft 25mg HOLD, CT xanax, reinstate 50mg zoloft, September reinstate 100mg zoloft w/.375 klonopin, mid-September lower to 75mg zoloft

2020 January:  .125mg klonopin 

February 1st: .112mg klonopin

February 24th:  60.3mgai zoloft

 

2020 December 1st:  off klonopin completely

currently on 15mgai zoloft 

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Hi @Cathy4 yes it’s a new symptom although I do remember something similar when I was tapering last summer - so strange when I’m not even tapering. 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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1 minute ago, Kernol said:

so strange when I’m not even tapering. 

Yeah, Kernol, that’s what’s so strange in my mind—the development of new symptoms despite your holding for what seems like an eternity.  (I mean, I know the vortioxetine taper wasn’t that long ago, but still, it’s weird there’s new stuff going on unless this is just par for the course). 

1999-2006 Luvox, xanax

2007-2009 Prozac, xanax, klonopin

2009-2018 Zoloft, xanax, klonopin

2019 January zoloft 150mg, February 100mg, April 75mg, mid-May 50mg, July 25mg, (xanax .5mg or .25mg as needed)

August zoloft 25mg HOLD, CT xanax, reinstate 50mg zoloft, September reinstate 100mg zoloft w/.375 klonopin, mid-September lower to 75mg zoloft

2020 January:  .125mg klonopin 

February 1st: .112mg klonopin

February 24th:  60.3mgai zoloft

 

2020 December 1st:  off klonopin completely

currently on 15mgai zoloft 

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Hi @Altostrata I was just calculating if I did a 10% taper every month I am looking at 2.5 years plus to get off the sertraline - I can’t possibly conceive of surviving that in the state I am currently in or potentially with even worse symptoms emerging during the taper. I just can’t see that I have any palatable options here in this destabilised state. I can understand people that have windows and waves taking this slowly and carefully but having never had a window I f I am likely to be like this or worse there is no way I could survive it - are there any other options for me?

 

does anyone in a destabilised/kindled state like me feel better during the taper or am I just going to stay like this or get worse  until I’m off it or even longer?

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Administrator

Please do not worry about tapering sertraline.

 

Do you have a thermometer? Is your temperature very high?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi @Altostrata thank for replying. Yes I have checked and I have a normal temperature. I recall having this burning hotness all over when tapering sertraline in the summer last year. It is also alongside an intensification in the  usual burning sizzling pain on my back and stomach so I guess it is all withdrawals 
 

I saw on some info here that it is common to have a bad wave at 3 month mark after stopping - could this be what I am seeing from stopping vortioxetine? I wonder if it is struggling because I cut too low on the sertraline but it still then had vortioxetine alongside it and now it doesn’t have that it is still adjusting. I feel like I have to do something if there is no chance of stabilisation now by holding my drug dose as things are so unbearable with the mental symptoms and I have held my sertraline dose for 6.5 months now with not a single symptom improving. I feel so desperate without a plan  
 

 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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  • Administrator

I do not believe there is any substance to the concept of signposts at various numbers of months.

 

My belief is that you are metabolizing sertraline and diazepam faster now that vortioxetine, which was blocking metabolization of both, is gone.

 

Since you had a couple of better days, it seems you might be in a "waves and windows" pattern as your system adjusts to the new drug balance.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Ok thanks @Altostrata so that would account for why I am having these new symptoms and intensification of old ones that I had when tapering sertraline plus why I am no longer feeling relief from the evening diazepam dose like I used to 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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15/3

 

8.00am so hot in body temperature and skin is stinging and burning badly on back and torso. Feel strangely different mentally. High anxiety and derealisation but almost like I’ve been given a street drug just feel different not the same feeling

8.30am have shower get dressed even my trousers are making my skin hurt when I put them on like I’ve got Chinese burns on my legs but there’s nothing there - I had this early on in my aggressive sertraline taper last year 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam - does nothing to bring me down to earth still very amped up not agitated not pacing just feel off it wired. Reminds me of the feeling when first starting an SSRI 

10.00am no appetite but manage oat smoothie - no doom no darkness no dread just amped and anxious and not in a heart racing way just in a peculiar drugged way. Still hot all over 

11.00am do some work emails - still feel the same. Very sunny day I feel lots of derealisation but not the same acid trip feeling / hard to describe it just feels different. Don’t feel as hot now 

12.00pm have consultation with new psych. 
1.00pm feel even more anxious after this. Take 1.5mg diazepam 

2.00pm diazepam has not done much if anything at all. Take 16mg sertraline 

3.00pm still feel amped weird drugged 

4.00pm manage a work email. Notice an arm tremor when leaning on elbows but not bothered by it 

5.00pm still not dark doom or stomach churning dread just this strange amped feeling. Get a couple of strange flashbacks of random places which come with a hit but deep breathe through them 

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam. Lie on bed - knees starting to burn and stomach skin starts to burn / this must be at least he 5th day in a row this has happened now

7.00pm manage to eat small dinner

8.00pm get into bed. Immediately body starts to burn Again so hot.  This is so odd. I had this last summer but thought it was partly because it was actually hot outside but it’s not hot at all and my duvet is super thin and my husband is in pyjamas freezing!
10.00pm lights out 

10.30pm-3.00am sleep ok vivid horrible dreams

3.00am wake and Body temperature in bed feels normal 

4.25am wake with very strong cortisol rush panic (Despite new sleep mask :( )which makes my whole body go into a hot flush from my toes to my head and my burning nerve pain very intense on back and sides. teeth have been very clenched 

4.30am-7.00am body temperature so hot can’t stay under cover have to lay on top and in and out of cortisol rushes which make the burning sizzling nerve pain worse too
 

*no nausea At all and only a couple of chills 

*hot body temperature in night going to sleep and then when waking with cortisol rush major hot rush and hot in morning when up 

*feet still vibrating inside

*bruxism still severe

*skin pain and burning nerve pain severe

*strange amped feeling / derealisation All day long  - reminds me of a time before maybe when being first put on an SSRI and it has activated me 

*no stomach churning dark dread

*no major Chemical surges of acid trip terror

*no chemical depression at all despite fact I am depressed over my situation 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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16/3

 

8.00am hot burning body and sizzling burning pain on torso quite severe. get up

8.30am feel a bit like yesterday strange amped feeling. Have shower.

9.00am take 2mg diazepam. Have oat smoothie

Don’t notice any effect of diazepam

10.00am have a couple of chemical surges mixed with memories. Lots of burning on skin sizzling feeling 

11.00am do some work emails. Still feel same. anxiety in chest feels burny and bit like battery acid poured in my nerves 

12.00pm have sandwich 

1.00pm can’t focus on anything. Get a few terror feelings on hearing birds singing outside. Tell myself it’s normal in withdrawal to have bizarre psychological symptoms. Take 1.5mg diazepam 

2.00pm take 16mg sertraline. 
2.30pm have psychologist appt. we discuss the disappointing psychiatrist appt yesterday and how I can hold on to hope to get out of this awful withdrawal mess

3.00pm burning and sizzling skin is quite nasty and painful 

4.00pm getting a few spikes of chemical feeling anxiety when I think of the past 

5.00pm Hear birds singing and get the shot of terror 

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam 

6.40pm have dinner. Not getting respite anymore like I used to from evening diazepam which is what used to give me the resolve to do another day 

7.00pm dial into baylissas q&a forum. My knees are on fire 
8.00pm feeling a bit worried that I no longer get any respite in evenings. Hear church bells - get shot of terror 
9.30pm get into bed. Whole body burns up as usual even with the aircon fan in me. Skin pain and burning on back is intense when laying on back and when I turn to side it goes to my stomach.

10.00pm lights out 

11.30pm wake with bad nightmare and Cold night sweats even though my body is hot. Anxiety in chest is awful and chemical and sizzling and takes a while to calm down and reorient myself 

12.30am -3.00am - restless sleep waking with the chemical anxiety in my chest feeling 

4.30am wake with massive cortisol rush and then body burning flash and skin pain and burning goes intense. Teeth clenching severe 

5.00am -7.00am toxic in and out sleep waking with cortisol and memories and emotions so strong I have to get up 

 

*sleep bad

*burning skin severe and painful 

*derealisation moderate to mild

*Chemical anxiety high all day no noticeable effect after diazepam dosing 

*a few chemical surges of terror 

*depression moderate but no horrific chemical doom except in surges 

*feet still vibrating 

*bruxism severe

*no nausea only a couple of chills 

 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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hi @Altostrata unfortunately  don’t see any stability yet. Skin burning/pain is very intense getting more so every day reminds me of when I was first tapering sertraline but even worse. bruxism is also very bad and the chemical anxiety acid trip feelings very high. Do I just carry on like this? What do you recommend? I don’t think the updose in diazepam has helped and I’m not even getting evening respite like I used to. Thanks for any advice you can give. I’m starting to lose hope for stabilisation of any kind now it has been so long. 
 

17/3

 

8.00am feel some chemical depression, not amped like previous days. Strong emotions of nauseating horror and darkness

8.30am skin is really painful like Chinese burns, hurts when I put my clothes on. I’m hot too my body temperature is overheating 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam 

10.00am feel stomach churning anxiety and depression and at reminder of where I used to live or the past my own or anyone else’s is making me feel a dark doom. 

11.00am put laundry on

12.00pm do a work email 

1.00pm feel my mind is pulling me back to this darkness is filling my chest. Got some nausea and hypersalivation. Get shown a video of a lorry on a motorway in sunshine - gives me strong acid trip terror feeling. Random memories half formed of the past come rapid fire at same time. Feel deranged with these things. Stomach and back skin is burning and sizzling. Take 1.5mg diazepam 

2.00pm take 16mg sertraline. Feel lots of dread it’s coming on strong I feel I could vomit.

3.00pm put laundry out. Feel electric chemical anxiety in my chest. Skin is burning and sizzling

4.00pm manage to do work email but lots of strange intrusive memories and acid trip feeling with them 

5.00pm knees start to burn. Lie down and do some deep breathing 

6.00pm take 1.75mg diazepam. Strong Chemical anxiety when thinking of anything really. Burning skin on stomach with the anxiety. 
7.00pm eat dinner 

8.00pm lie in bed. Back and Stomach and Knees burning and sizzling pain on torso. Anxiety calmed a tiny bit but not the respite I was getting weeks ago from evening dose 

9.00pm lights out 

10.00pm-3.00am - nightmares, night sweats waking me. Feel strong chemical electric anxiety in chest when waking. Very disoriented no idea what day it is or where I am when waking 

4.00am wake with strong cortisol rush panic, skin sizzles and burns intensely on torso immediately and teeth clenching severe

5.00am-7.00am in and out of toxic sleep wake state. A few hallucinations on waking

 

*bruxism severe

*skin burning and pain very severe

*derealisation low to medium

*flashbacks and chemical acid trip terror high

*doom, chemical depression medium 

*feet still vibrating inside 

*sleep not good. Nightmares/nightsweats

*nausea minimal 

*body temperature hot at night and in morning 

 

 

10 years on Sertraline 100mg. 75mg Dec 2016 - Apr 2017, 50mg May 2017 - Oct 2017, 37.5mg

 

2018 - Sertraline 25mg Mar -  July 2018, 13.75mg Aug- Sept 1.5 month (‘not accurately measured), came off completely 10 October, reinstated by doctor on 10 November 25 mg. 25 November raised to 50mg 2 December 100mg 11 December 150mg 30 November. Lorazepam started 2mg x daily 1 November

2019 - Sertraline reduced  to 100mg 5 Feb, 23 Feb 75mg, 18 Mar 50mg, 23 Apr 37.5mg, 1 Jun 25mg, 3 Jul 16mg, 3 Aug 8mg, updosed on 1 Sept to 16.67mg 

20 Feb lorazepam 2mg x day crossed over to diazepam 20mg x day over 2 week period to taper. diazepam reduced by 1mg every 2/3 weeks got down to 3.5mg in August. 

22 Sept resorted to taking 1mg lorazepam after sertraline destabilisation instead of diazepam. took lorazepam 1mg  x day 22 Sept - 28 Sept then returned to diazepam on 29  Sept 4mg,, 30 Sept 4.5mg  1 Oct 5mg 2 Oct 5mg  16 Nov 4.75mg. 15 Dec 5mg 29 Dec 4.75mg   Vortioxetine 5mg started 1 July. 14 July 10mg -Reduced on 20 July to 5mg. 12 Sept reduced to  3.75mg, 19 Sept reduced to 2.5mg, 15 Oct reduced to 2mg, 22 Oct 1.9mg, 29 Oct 1.8mg reduced down every 3 days and then daily stopped on 2 Dec

2020 - sertraline  8 Apr - 16mg 29 Apr - 15.5mg 13 may - 15.25mg may 19 - 15mg may 22- 14.75mg 22 Jun 14mg 6 July 13.3 - 20 July 12.6 - 3 August - 11.97 - 17 August 11.37. Held. Then started 2.5% fortnightly drops. 9.5mg 4 Dec

diazepam 19 Apr - 4.25mg 20 May - 4mg 20 Jun 3.75mg  4.25mg 22 Sept 4.5mg 29 Sept. 4.75ng Oct 5 Nov 10 4.5mg

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