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scottishpablo: can't do this again


scottishpablo

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Hi all,

 

 Apologies for poor writing as my head is not working. Had waves and windows from September 2015 until spring 2017 and then been normal human me until Aug 18. Recovered yeh!! Past few months have been getting head zaps when trying to go to sleep( like I need to shake the centre of my brain horrible feeling. This story will be all over the place – apologies. Managed to get off all meds in sept 15 as I was signed off work for almost 2 yrs thanks god.

 

Anyway was offered another role in the company early 2017 and really took to it right away and fitted in with my peers and boss. Thought I was doing so well, and other senior management thought I could be operating at higher level management, so went for a promotion, got it and within several days of taking it I collapsed at home whilst on pc. Paramedics came out and checked me out and said all my vitals checked out and asked if I was suffering stress. I never really thought about the new job and dismissed it. It became quite apparent to me that this was not the role for me and I spoke to my union rep. he took one look at me and told me to ask for my old job back, as I was like a new man when he saw me a few months earlier, as I was - brimming with confidence and did my job with ease. We have been trying to get me back into my old role but the HR process has dragged on and still awaiting company occ health to check me out! whilst waiting with great uncertainty I spent many nights woken the early hours and ruminate. Recently we went on a family holiday abroad which involved jet lag and still with my current employment situation unresolved. I wasn’t great but still felt human and managed to ride out the fear(I believe!!).

 

BUT.. last Saturday had to go do dentist and get  implants, was given 2 antbiotics; amoxicillin and metronidazole. On the third day of taking the meds I started to really feel anxious low etc.. that evening I ended up going to  A&E because I thought the dogs of hell were coming for me. Never slept and spent few hours talking to a physicians associate who was very compassionate but unable to offer any help except recommend see you doc in am.

 

When I went doc I was given propranolol and zopiclone 3.75mg. took propranolol but never helped my head. Took zopiclone and slept. I was also given diazepam to help with anxiety but this just made me more depressed. By Thursday I was at docs and in tears as I want to end it all.

 

Went to an AA meeting thur night and talked like a man possessed to group members and managed to sleep that night (without anything and woke up Friday almost 30 – 40% normal (thought I’m over it!!) was even quite positive about the future. When the mental health team called Friday afternoon asking how I was, as my doc had mentioned the self-termination, I told them I feel slightly better.. Saturday comes, bang! I am back in the pits of hell again.

 

Saturday night I take another zopiclone cos my head is on fire with a sunami of negative horror. Sunday another day that is maybe about 25% back to me.

 

Sunday night take another zop as I’m thinking the sleep must be helping me get back. Wake up Monday yesterday and back down again.

 

Monday night take another 3.75 zopiclone and only get a couple of hours then spend the night trying to just tune into Eckhart Tolle  I have three beautiful children and don’t want to self-terminate but I cannot see any other option. I have been contacted by the local mental health team but I believe there Is nothing they will be able to do as all they will offer is probably more psychotropics.

 

While all this has been going on I had a dental abscess that I tried to treat with amoxicillin as I did not want to lose the bridge I had at front of mouth – hence the implant surgery the other week. I ended up with lump in my throat( I still have to this day) where my thyroid glands are. Also when I do any exertion I get headaches. Docs hav dismissed the swollen throat and saying its stress.

 

I have had 4 zopiclone over the past week and 3off since Saturday;I am scared of addiction( recovered alcoholic 18.5yrs sober). I led a really holistic healthy life and got into KETO 2 years ago and managed to shift 30lbs. however just before going on holiday I really pushed it to lose weight and think I have smashed my adrenals and the metronidazole was the straw that broke the camel’s mind.

 

Sorry for the poor me folks but desperate and not sure if I will get through this and I don’t think the mental health team can help. Really need a plan but do not know what to do.

 

Any help from any angels out there please!! I need to know somebody has had a an experience 3yrs post withdrawal and got throught it.

 

Kind regards.

 

Sept 11 citalopram 20 -40 mg, nov 11sertraline 25mg – 100mg?, Jan 12 Mirtazapine 15-45mg, Mar 12 venlafaxin 37.5 – 225mg, clompipramine, escitalopram, buproprion few others can’t remember don’t want to remember until finally back to escitalopram until sept 15 when I quit cold turkey.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added spacing

citalopram 20-40 mg Sept 2011 - nov 2011 

Sertraline  25-100mg Nov 2011- Jan 2012

Mitrazapine 15-45mg Jan 2012 - Mar 2012

Venlafaxine 37.5 - 225mg Mar 2012 - cant remember

Clomipramine cant remember dose

Escitalopram

Buproprion cant remember dose

Escitalopram possibly spring 2015 - September 2015

diazepam 2mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

zopiclone 3.75mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

Buspirone 5mg upto 3 times per day - no real guidance form doc 24 dec 2018 - present.

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to scottishpablo: Cant do this again
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello,scottishpablo, and welcome to SA.

 

I'm sorry you are having these difficult experiences.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.   Please make your signature in a simple list format, with dates (including years), with no diagnoses, only date, drug, dosage and rate of taper.
 
 
You have some drug history in your last paragraph, but please put it in your signature so it is available with all your posts.   Please include the dosage of escitalopram you were on and the frequency you are taking the zopiclone.
 
After we have this information, we will be in a better position to help you.
 
 
 

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Hi gridley,

 

I'm a bit sketchy about the dates of my meds as it was sept 15  i last took any ecitalopram. Is it okay to populate the signature the best i can?

citalopram 20-40 mg Sept 2011 - nov 2011 

Sertraline  25-100mg Nov 2011- Jan 2012

Mitrazapine 15-45mg Jan 2012 - Mar 2012

Venlafaxine 37.5 - 225mg Mar 2012 - cant remember

Clomipramine cant remember dose

Escitalopram

Buproprion cant remember dose

Escitalopram possibly spring 2015 - September 2015

diazepam 2mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

zopiclone 3.75mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

Buspirone 5mg upto 3 times per day - no real guidance form doc 24 dec 2018 - present.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi scottishpablo, I'm afraid I can't understand your signature at all.   I can't tell if those numbers are days or years, starting or stopping?  I understand if you can't remember the exact dates, but we need start and stop dates for all the meds, even if approximate.  Please include the zopiclone and escitalopram as well.  

 

I'm having a bit of trouble understanding your timeline, but if I'm reading it right, you stopped all meds in 2015 and felt recovered by some point in 2017.  The stress about the new job makes sense to me.  I had a similar thing happen to me when I couldn't cope with a stressful job situation.  I believe ADs leave us less resilient to stress.  The reactions to the antibiotics are also not uncommon.  It's quite possible that having been through withdrawal, our systems are then more sensitive to the effects of other meds.  It's likely that these symptoms may settle down over time, but probably with some waves and windows along the way.  See: the windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

You are right to be cautious with the zopiclone.  It can cause dependence and would then need to be tapered.  I would recommend using some non-drug techniques for coping with symptoms.  See:

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Tips to help sleep - so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

Relaxation exercises, guided meditations, calming videos, sleep hypnosis

Neuro-emotions

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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On 11/27/2018 at 12:33 PM, scottishpablo said:

metronidazole

I know you said your symptoms started with work stress but just wanted to mention that there is a Facebook group for this med that might be helpful. A lot of people seem to have issues with it.

 

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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I read on here about some one else who'd had also amoxiccilin and 'relapsed'. I am not sure how long it took them to get back to normal, but it was quite a recent post. Apparently amoxiccilin is not just an antibiotic. 

 

Wikipedia says under 'Adverse effects' (My emphasis). 

 

Adverse effects are similar to those for other β-lactam antibiotics, including nausea, vomiting, rashes, and antibiotic-associated colitis. Loose bowel movements (diarrhea) may also occur. Rarer adverse effects include mental changes, lightheadedness, insomnia, confusion, anxiety, sensitivity to lights and sounds, and unclear thinking. Immediate medical care is required upon the first signs of these adverse effects.

 

Try not to despair, you might just be hyper sensitive. Things may just settle down, could be worth mentioning to the Drs. Do you have the patient leaflets for the medications you been prescribed? 

Citalopram. Briefly early twenties, no ill effects seemingly. Don't remember dose.

 

Sertraline on and off for ten years.  I was ignorant and started and stopped frequently. Doses of 50, 75 and 100. I can not recall/did not record dates prior to 2018.

 

JANUARY 2018: Last period of use was was 150mg of sertraline on 14/01/18  (which triggered extreme depression and anxiety that never settled, amongst other symptoms). I then tapered to 100mg in March (15/03/18), then down to 75mg in April(01/04/18) , 50mg later (11/04/18) 25mg in May  (16/05/18),  and was at 0mg in June (02/06/18).

 

Mirtazapine 15mg 01/08/18- 02/10/18, 15mg (6 weeks at 15mg the two week taper). - caused deeply unpleasant waves of extreme anxiety, depression, zombie state and mania.

 

Still on 40mg of Propranolol twice a day since April 2018. Supplements: Fish oil, Magnesium, Vit B6

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks Songbird. you're correct my last dose of escitalopram was september 2015. there was also Bupropion  and clomipramine in between 2013 and 2015 but cant remeber when. mind can remeber and tbh dont blame it! the good news is I have not had any zopiclone for 8 days yeh! been listening to eckhat tolle the power of know to get over to sleep.

very mild improvements some night have been able to watch movies well about 3 nights out of last month. trying to hold onto this shall pass, but long tiring insane days in a bubble days remain tho. Living one day , hour moment at at time. tired but need to keep busy.

 

take care

citalopram 20-40 mg Sept 2011 - nov 2011 

Sertraline  25-100mg Nov 2011- Jan 2012

Mitrazapine 15-45mg Jan 2012 - Mar 2012

Venlafaxine 37.5 - 225mg Mar 2012 - cant remember

Clomipramine cant remember dose

Escitalopram

Buproprion cant remember dose

Escitalopram possibly spring 2015 - September 2015

diazepam 2mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

zopiclone 3.75mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

Buspirone 5mg upto 3 times per day - no real guidance form doc 24 dec 2018 - present.

 

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Hi Vincent,

I definitely believe the two antibiotics really did it. Have been intermittently taking optibac pro biotic prescribed by Jan De Vries, I was also given Forte Nerve B which has mega doses of B1(200mg), B6(50mg) & B12(1000ug) and Jay- Vee, also by Jan De Vries. I have been taking between 4000 - 600mg of solgar Vit c Also As i beleive my adrenals are torched. I have only really been taking the vit c consistently and trying some NIACIN 200mg per day. I have lost about 7 kg inlast 4 weeks since this anxiety/ depression re-surged. It was as if on day 3 of the antibiotics a switched was flicked in my head. just trying to be really cautious of getting to sleep before 11pm. Always wake at 3-4 am but listen to power of now to try and et back over. Also have a homeopathic remedy for sleep called Neuraxan for sleep, but tbh im not sure what to take  just want to get back to where i was a sveral weeks ago which was normal, feeling connected to life and not in this continual self apprising detached bubble. I am getting moments and periods when i almost feel hopeful but never lasts, but trying to hold onto them.

citalopram 20-40 mg Sept 2011 - nov 2011 

Sertraline  25-100mg Nov 2011- Jan 2012

Mitrazapine 15-45mg Jan 2012 - Mar 2012

Venlafaxine 37.5 - 225mg Mar 2012 - cant remember

Clomipramine cant remember dose

Escitalopram

Buproprion cant remember dose

Escitalopram possibly spring 2015 - September 2015

diazepam 2mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

zopiclone 3.75mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

Buspirone 5mg upto 3 times per day - no real guidance form doc 24 dec 2018 - present.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
While it is often a first response to stress to take a B-Complex, in withdrawal it can be overstimulating.
 
 
We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

 

 
 
 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Thanks Gridley I have been taking Magnesium; have been taking it pretty much daily as i was on a ketogenic diet for 2 yrs. Also, just recently i was really cutting my calories whilst on keto to lose a few kilos very quickly- I definitely think this has only added to the strain on my CNS. What i noticed whilst on the ketogenic diet, whilst training I never got the euphoria from the endorphins that i used to ALWAYS get before keto. just hoping that this is just another ENORMOUS wave that shall pass its just when you haven't had any Psychotropics for almost 40 months you feel you should be home and dry, but this is the worst its been since quitting escitalopram September 2015.

citalopram 20-40 mg Sept 2011 - nov 2011 

Sertraline  25-100mg Nov 2011- Jan 2012

Mitrazapine 15-45mg Jan 2012 - Mar 2012

Venlafaxine 37.5 - 225mg Mar 2012 - cant remember

Clomipramine cant remember dose

Escitalopram

Buproprion cant remember dose

Escitalopram possibly spring 2015 - September 2015

diazepam 2mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

zopiclone 3.75mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

Buspirone 5mg upto 3 times per day - no real guidance form doc 24 dec 2018 - present.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm sorry you're having these difficult symptoms.  Unfortunately, there's no way to predict how long recovery is going to take.  This link provides good information: 

 

How Long Is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have now been given buspirone 5mg upto 3 times per day. TBH making me much worse. Been taking it sporadically since Christmas eve. last night woke up every 2 hours once with vivid horrific nightmares, one being in a mental hospital and then just vivid horrible images. thats the buspirone getting thrown away.Dear god, i just want me back.

citalopram 20-40 mg Sept 2011 - nov 2011 

Sertraline  25-100mg Nov 2011- Jan 2012

Mitrazapine 15-45mg Jan 2012 - Mar 2012

Venlafaxine 37.5 - 225mg Mar 2012 - cant remember

Clomipramine cant remember dose

Escitalopram

Buproprion cant remember dose

Escitalopram possibly spring 2015 - September 2015

diazepam 2mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

zopiclone 3.75mg as and when needed nov 2018-present

Buspirone 5mg upto 3 times per day - no real guidance form doc 24 dec 2018 - present.

 

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  • 1 month later...

scottishpablo,

 

How are you doing?

1990s-early 2000s: On and off different AD medicines like Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, and Lexapro.

2004: Klonopin .75-1 mg a day for anxiety.

2012: Started micro-taper off Klonopin. Used Benadryl or Doxylamine for sleep nightly. Melatonin. Ate clean and did exercise.

2014: Finished micro-taper with very little PAWS. No more Klonopin.  Started fish oil, probiotics, vitamins, and curcumin.  

November 2016: ADHD medicines: Vyvanse (60 mg), Dexedrine (15 mg), Adderall (15 mg), Desoxyn (20 mg) at various times, not at once.

March 2017: Mirtazapine 7.5 mg but immediately went up to 15 mg but then back down to 12, then 7.5 mg. For insomnia, not for depression. Melatonin too.

November 2017: Dropped to 3.75 mg Mirtazapine and eventually started taking it every other day or so.

 February 2018: Stopped 3.75 Mirtazapine after ER visit. Stabilized on Klonopin .125 mg as prepare to micro-taper again.Also stopped melatonin after a few years of use (5-20 mg a night). 

February 2019: One year later: The worst is over. Far from back to normal but 24/7 dread and fear adrenaline surges and suicidal ideation are done. Still anxiety, parasthesia, dysuatonomia, tinnitus, and minor insomnia but I'm also a year into my Klonopin taper down to .016 so much of this could be to that. I still have occasional feelings of unease (serotonin) but it's much better than 24/7 doom. I will have a success story and so will you! 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to scottishpablo: can't do this again

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