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Dejavu: can anyone tell me what's going on?


Dejavu

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Dec 15

2am - took 1 Cortisol Manager

 

3am - phone call - brother rushed to hospital

 

3:30 - 7:30 am - ER with brother - no sleep -  anxiety 9/10 - depression 7/10 - weakness/tremor 4/10 - inner tremor 7/10 - sweats 5/10

 

8am -noon - slept - woke up -anxiety 8/10 - depression 7/10 - weakness/tremor 5/10 - inner tremor 6/10 - diarrhea

 

4pm - ate lunch - anxiety 8/10 - depression 7/10 - weakness/tremor 4/10 - nausea 4/10 - diarrhea - crying spell - muscle aches 4/10

 

5pm - took 400 mg ibuprofen

 

7pm - anxiety 5/10 - depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 5/10

 

8pm - anxiety 7/10 - depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 5/10 - palps 4/10

 

9pm - ate dinner

 

10pm - took 25mg zoloft liquid - anxiety 7/10 - depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 7/10

 

11:30 - Took 1 Cortisol Manager - anxiety 9/10 - depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 4/10

 

Dec 16

Midnight - took 3mg melatonin - slept straight through!!

 

11:30am - woke up w/no cortisol spike - anxiety 2/10 - depression 1/10 - weakness/tremor 4/10 - nausea 1/10 - dizziness 4/10 - inner tremor 4/10

 

1pm - ate lunch - sat up and visited w/family for 30 mins - diarrhea - anxiety 3/10 - depression 2/10 - weakness/tremor 7/10 - dizziness 7/10 - inner tremor 4/10

 

3:30 pm - anxiety 3/10 - depression 4/10 - weakness/tremor 5/10 - dizziness 3/10 - diarrhea

 

5pm - anxiety 5/10 - depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 5/10 - dizziness 3/10 - stomach cramps 2/10

 

7pm - ate dinner - took 2000 mg fish oil - anxiety 3/10 - depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 7/10 - dizziness 7/10

 

10pm - took 25mg zoloft liquid - anxiety 4/10 - depression 6/10 - crying spell - weakness/tremor 6/10 - dizziness 5/10 - inner tremor 5/10

 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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@Altostrata, I'm considering a cut tonight from 25mg liquid zoloft to 22.5mg. Do you see any reason why I shouldn't? Anxiety is wicked bad again today after a better day yesterday and if you are right that 25 was too high a reinstatement dose, and since the side effects will not diminish unless and until I start to reduce, shouldn't I just get on with at least a small cut? The external stressors that caused me to hold off have settled somewhat, and the switch from pill to liquid last week seems to have been a non-event. I would appreciate your assessment. 

 

Also, thanks for the tip about cutting the melatonin dose in half. I am sleeping better on less. 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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On 12/15/2018 at 4:39 PM, Altostrata said:

Yes, put off a dose reduction, no harm in letting your recent change settle more. It's helpful to observe your symptoms, as you are doing, and your emotional patterns, it will help you manage them.

....

 

I'm confused, didn't you want to hold for a bit before tapering?

 

Good to hear your sleep is better. You might let that sink in for some days before making another change.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Well, the general consensus here was that 25mg was too high for reinstatement, since I'm more symptomatic now than when I first reinstated. It was suggested that I reduce to 20 or 22.5 to attempt more stabilization.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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I was poised to make the reduction a few days ago, but then I had a family emergency that amped me pretty badly.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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I'm going to reduce my dose from 25mg to 22.5 tonight. Please wish me luck. Can anyone tell me about when I should feel the cut, if I'm going to? I'm hoping it will help me stabilize. Very apprehensive about this.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Dec 17

Midnight - took 1 Cortisol Manager - anxiety 6/10 - depression 6/10 - weakness/tremor 6/10

 

2am - took 3 mg melatonin - fell asleep around 3am

 

8am - woke up without cortisol spike - anxiety 7/10

 

10am - back to sleep

 

12:30pm - woke up - anxiety 7/10 - depression 6/10 - weakness/tremor 7/10 - dizziness 5/10 - nausea 4/10

 

1pm - walked 3/4 mile on treadmill - anxiety 5/10 - depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 7/10 - dizziness 6/10

 

3pm - ate lunch - anxiety 4/10 -depression 5/10 - weakness/tremor 6/10 - dizziness 5/10 - inner tremor 5/10

 

5pm - took shower - anxiety 8/10 - depression 7/10 - weakness/tremor 8/10 - dizziness 4/10 - palps 5/10 - inner tremor 6/10 - crying spell

 

6pm - called daughter to cancel Christmas - crying spell

 

8pm - ate dinner - took 2000mg fish oil - anxiety 5/10 - depression 6/10 - weakness/tremor 6/10 - inner tremor 6/10

 

10:30pm - Dropped to 22.5mg zoloft liquid (10%) - anxiety 5/10 - depression 6/10 - weakness/tremor 7/10 - inner tremor 6/10 - dizziness 4/10

 

 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Mods, I need advice please!! I'm trying to stabilize after reinstating zoloft at 25mg. Since I'm not feeling so well, and since its possible that my reinstatement dose was too high, I did a 10% cut of last nights dose. Woke up this morning feeling very good - anxiety was zero - but since about noon, it has been creeping back in and is now once again in the 9/10 range, verging on panic. Is it too soon to be feeling last night's cut?  Should I take this as a sign that I need to remain at 25mg until I stabilize more, or continue at 22.5mg and see what happens? Its possible that this is simply what I call a mini-wave; they do come and go many times in the course of a day right now. I don't want to suffer unnecessarily, but I don't want to go up in dosage if I don't have to either; that's like moving backwards. And I don't want to keep monkeying with my dose either. Please, please weigh in with any advice! Thank you!!

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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@Altostrata @ChessieCat @Songbird or any other mod who is online right now, can anyone help me? I have to dose soon and have no idea what I should do. Thank you!!

2 hours ago, Dejavu said:

Mods, I need advice please!! I'm trying to stabilize after reinstating zoloft at 25mg. Since I'm not feeling so well, and since its possible that my reinstatement dose was too high, I did a 10% cut of last nights dose. Woke up this morning feeling very good - anxiety was zero - but since about noon, it has been creeping back in and is now once again in the 9/10 range, verging on panic. Is it too soon to be feeling last night's cut?  Should I take this as a sign that I need to remain at 25mg until I stabilize more, or continue at 22.5mg and see what happens? Its possible that this is simply what I call a mini-wave; they do come and go many times in the course of a day right now. I don't want to suffer unnecessarily, but I don't want to go up in dosage if I don't have to either; that's like moving backwards. And I don't want to keep monkeying with my dose either. Please, please weigh in with any advice! Thank you!!

 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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10 minutes ago, Dejavu said:

@Altostrata @ChessieCat @Songbird or any other mod who is online right now, can anyone help me? I have to dose soon and have no idea what I should do. Thank you!!

 

 

Hi Dejavu, 

 

I left a message with the other mods so hopefully they will get to you soon. They will know your history more. This is not a real time site, the mods aren’t always on here. 

 

If it was me I would go back up to the 25mg and stabilise on that since you only went down to 22.5mg for one night. You should never taper if you’re not stable. By your signature I see that you keep making so many changes. You will have trouble stabilising if you continue to do that. 

 

Pleeeeease stabilise before you taper again. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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@Carmie, thank you for responding. I guess I just needed to see if my reinstatement dose was too high as some have suggested. What if I never stabilize? Is that likely to happen? It's been almost 6 weeks since I reinstated and I still feel awful, physically and emotionally. Eventually my body will acclimate won't it? I'm kinda getting worried here.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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@Carmie, I hit send too soon. Wanted to say I hope you're feeling better. My good friend suffers from CFS and I know it's a real bear. 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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6 minutes ago, Dejavu said:

@Carmie, thank you for responding. I guess I just needed to see if my reinstatement dose was too high as some have suggested. What if I never stabilize? Is that likely to happen? It's been almost 6 weeks since I reinstated and I still feel awful, physically and emotionally. Eventually my body will acclimate won't it? I'm kinda getting worried here.

 

Hi again, 

 

Six weeks is not long at all. You have made so many changes, you will never stabilise if you keep chopping and changing all of the time. If I did what you did it would take me at least a year to get stable. I pay for every change I make. I decided to go to compounding capsules n it has taken me over three months to stabilise. I still have symptoms but not as severe. 

 

I’m going back to water titrating the original tablet though because Brassmonkey said it’s better to use the original if you’re able too as it’s much more accurate. I might crosstaper in January and it might take me another three months to stabilise. It pretty much means I went backwards and had to put up with the withdrawals for nothing as I’m back where I started from. I didn’t know about the compounded formulas not always being accurate at the time. 

 

One can’t change the past though, one can only move forward. No use crying over spilt milk. 

 

We can’t avoid withdrawals whatever we do though, we can just lessen the intensity by not making a million changes or tapering too fast.

 

4 minutes ago, Dejavu said:

@Carmie, I hit send too soon. Wanted to say I hope you're feeling better. My good friend suffers from CFS and I know it's a real bear. 

 

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, CFS is no fun. I already had a lot of the symptoms people get in withdrawals before I even went through withdrawals. That’s because it’s a CNS illness and withdrawals also affect the CNS. 

 

The worst thing about withdrawals has been when I’ve had akathisia. When I’ve tapered too fast it got so bad. Before I knew about medications and withdrawals and the doctors cold turkeyed me I was suicidal. It was so bad and I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I thought there was something terribly physically n mentally wrong with me and I thought it was permanent. I didn’t figure out u til much later on that it was withdrawals.

 

I know this is an extremely scary process but we will get there in the end.

 

Take care💚

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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I would have stayed at 25mg a bit longer.

 

How are you feeling now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata, I'm not feeling very well. Anxiety and depression went through the roof. I went right back up to 25mg after that one dose, like Carmie suggested. I know she's right; I've got to stop fooling around with my dose until I stabilize. Too many changes in a relatively short amount of time. I'm letting the fear manage me, instead of vice-versa. But I felt like I needed to know whether I had reinstated at too high a dose, and at least now I know I definitely need to stay at 25mg for a while. I am so disappointed because I want off this rat poison like God only knows! The anxiety has only just now started to abate somewhat. I can only wonder how many days I've set myself back due to my impatience. Had it not been for the Cortisol Manager supplement my ND gave me, I would not have had a prayer of sleeping the past two nights. I hope it keeps working. 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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What's in the Cortisol Manager supplement?

 

Yes, it's best to stay at 25mg for a while, track your symptoms for at least several weeks. When you feel confident, maybe try a 5% reduction.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Cortisol Manager is l-theanine, ashwagandha and magnolia bark. I have taken theanine and magnolia bark separately during benzo w/d and they were a huge help - never went paradoxical or stopped working, but this blend seems to be more effective than the separate supplements. I am carefully watching for adverse/paradoxical reactions, as ashwagandha would be the likely culprit in that event. I'm only taking a half dose at night before sleep and it has completely eliminated the nasty morning cortisol spike. The anxiety does slowly creep in after I'm awake, but at least I don't wake up in abject panic. I'm also taking Omega 3 and magnesium glycinate. My ND offered lavender oil capsules, but I passed on them, at least for now. 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Cortisol Manager sounds okay. You're right, it would be ashwagandha that might act up. Sounds like you're managing your supplements very reasonably.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dare I hope? A tiny break in the clouds today. A little less anxiety, a little more energy, perhaps a tiny bit more hope. Left the house on my own today and drove myself to therapy. Haven't been able to do that in weeks. Still quite a ways to go; I don't feel good, but I do feel a little better. Perhaps stabilization is right around the corner. Just wanted to document this. Hope for brighter days for us all!

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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That's a good sign!  Be aware that things can be up and down a bit as your body works to stabilise, try not to worry if you hit a rough patch.  Hopefully more improvement comes along soon.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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And just like that...window gone! I'm so disappointed. Anxiety off the beam today. I feel so hopeless...maybe I am really stuck. It upsets me to think that my only way out of this is being drugged for the rest of my life. Please, someone tell me it doesn't have to be that way!

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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21 hours ago, Dejavu said:

Left the house on my own today and drove myself to therapy.

 

Maybe you over did things when you were feeling good.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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42 minutes ago, Dejavu said:

And just like that...window gone! I'm so disappointed. Anxiety off the beam today. I feel so hopeless...maybe I am really stuck. It upsets me to think that my only way out of this is being drugged for the rest of my life. Please, someone tell me it doesn't have to be that way!

 

Hi Dejavu,

 

I’m sorry for all that you’ve been through, sounds like you went through a similar process to many on here, in that you were offered different medications by different providers and were misguided in regards to withdrawal potential etc. 

 

I have not yet begun tapering myself, but I have experienced terror levels of anxiety and debilitating DP/DR in the past, for months on end. When we are really in the depths of suffering, we become increasingly desperate to work out the cause and how to fix it. This is a basic survival response, as our brain/body registers pain (emotional or physical) as harmful to our survival, and we become compelled to escape the pain. 

 

However, when you’re dealing with a destabilised nervous system due to a history of psychiatric drugs and dosage changes, that inbuilt instinct to escape pain could become our own worst enemy. It will insist we can’t cope and we need to make changes, but if you listen to the mods and read all of the advice here, it’s clear that patience and coping tends to pay off. There is only one way to find out if and when you will stabilise, and that’s to wait this out.

 

Sadly, nobody in the world can tell you with 100% certainty when and if you are going to stabilise, and what exactly is causing this pain. However, people with a lot of experience (like the mods here) can provide you with great advice and make suggestions based on what they’ve seen in themselves and others. 

 

I know this is scary, in fact it’s terrifying, but once you realise and accept there is going to be pain on the horizon, you will start to cope better. Try not to judge every day as good or bad based on whether you were anxious or not, because right now that’s out of your hands. Try to use each day to accept what hurts and enjoy what doesn’t, and in time you’ll find the answers. 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I can only provide information and make suggestions.

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First, happy holidays to all who are celebrating them. I for one am glad its almost over. I am so broken. Since reinstatement I am still nowhere near stabilized. I had one decent day a week ago, and back down the drain since then. Did that day really happen? Hard to believe it did. Its clear I'm going to have to take more time off work. On Jan 1 I will start losing business. I'm not sure how we will make it. Starting to fear that nothing can help me, and I will never get better. Yesterday we went to my daughter's house but I could only stay about an hour - too much anxiety and that sick, churned up electric-like feeling that I guess is akathisia. There were people there I don't know well and I feel like people can tell there's something wrong with me (husband says not). Tonight, Christmas dinner at my brother's house, and same thing, although I managed about 2 hours because no strangers there. I love my family so much, but I just felt so out of it tonight. Like I said before - just broken. I feel like a failure because Christmas is usually at my house, but this year I can barely get out of bed. This is the first holiday without my Mom and the 2nd without my sister and its just so depressing. Family keeps saying "don't worry; next year you will be better," but I don't think so. I think I'm stuck this way. Every day without improvement just proves it to me. My therapist gave me a referral to a pdoc that she says understands and acknowledges ADWD, and I will give him a call. Also, my nephew and niece seem to think they've found an outpatient treatment program that will allow for a proper taper. I'm dubious, but told my family I'd be willing to check it out. I'm very lucky in that all my family believes and supports me and are as understanding as they can possibly be. I just think I need a little more expertise than my well-meaning but clueless PCP has. 

 

For instance, I believe I've been either staying the same or possibly getting slightly worse, symptom-wise, since my reinstatement. I know the conventional wisdom is to sit still and wait for stabilization, but since I get bad side effects from Zoloft, I keep wondering about bridging to another drug to taper from. This worked very well for me in benzo withdrawal; bridging from xanex to klonopin made for a fairly smooth taper and w/d. Add to that the fact that, in the month I was off zoloft this summer (waaaay too fast taper from 50mgs in 3-4 weeks), all symptoms vanished - that is, until the anxiety suddenly returned. This caused me to panic and reinstate, but now I sort of wish I hadn't. The other symptoms - weakness and tremor, dizziness, gastric issues, headache, palps, inner tremor - didn't happen *until* I reinstated, so I don't know if they are side effects or withdrawal. If they are side effects, then obviously a bridge or slow taper is called for. But if the symptoms are withdrawal, then holding or updosing for the purpose of stabilization would be the order of the day. This is what my broken brain says right now, but I would certainly appreciate some guidance/insight from those more experienced and less addled than myself. 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Hey,

 

Sorry to hear your struggling and had such a bad Xmas day.

 

Please do not change your dose without reply from one of the moderators who have the experience to guide you.

 

I haven’t reinstated but did crash badly so updosed 1mg 7 weeks ago and I’m still struggling yet changing my dose is the last thing I want to do. In order to stabilise you need to keep everything consistent with your dose and unfortunately 6 or 7 weeks isn’t very long. I’m lucky I have had almost symptom free windows lasting days but also when in a wave like at the moment I’m up and down daily with symptoms all over the place.

 

Hang in there and don’t make any rash decisions. Unfortunately there is no quick fix for this but improvement is a certainty!

 

 

20mg Lexapro 2007

10mg Lexapro 2012

Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago  from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3.

Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction.

Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October.

Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018

Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov.

Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018

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Thank you @Tom37. It helps tremendously to know that my situation is not unique. During benzo withdrawal I had the same fear that I would never improve. And of course, I did recover fully. I suppose I just figured stabilization would happen sooner. No way to really know how this rat poison is going to treat us, I guess. I'm not a patient person - the 15 month klonopin taper drove me wild (but paid off - was almost symptom-free after jumping). Pdoc said Zoloft was "gentle" and I could just walk off of it after 18 months. So I really didn't expect to be going through another long withdrawal...again. What a nasty surprise the last 50 days have been. 

 

About the benzos though: please be very careful with the diazepam. Benzos are a beast to kick if you develop a dependency. I got smacked down after only 3 weeks of regular use. Doesn't look like you're taking it daily, but still, be cautious. Diazepam has a very long half life and it can pile up in your system without you being aware. If you are interested, I have done a lot of research on herbs and supplements that increase GABA just like benzos, but carry much less risk - if any at all - of tolerance/dependence or down-regulation of the neurotransmitters. L-theanine, Passionflower, Lemon Balm, Ashwagandha, and Magnolia Bark all work for me. You cannot take any of them when you are on benzos though - but rather *instead of* benzos. You would probably want to check with your doc to see how long you have to be off diazepam to try a natural GABA supplement. Right now, I'm taking 200mg of l-theanine when my anxiety ramps up, which is every day right now. I also take a cortisol managing supplement with Ashwagandha and Magnolia Bark every night to sleep, since benzos are definitely not an option for me. Ashwagandha and Passionflower are said to be as effective as benzos. I find that they all work well, but for me L- theanine seems to work best. Just something to think about.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Thanks for the advice.

 

Yes I have no desire to get a Benzo addiction so have only ever used it for three nights in a row then with a gap of over seven days before using it again. 

 

About 12 days since I last used it and it’s only been at the start of a wave which always caused me to not sleep.

 

Im not really one for supplements as don’t want to add anything else to the mix as you never know what reaction you could get.

 

Thanks 

 

20mg Lexapro 2007

10mg Lexapro 2012

Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago  from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3.

Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction.

Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October.

Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018

Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov.

Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018

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Hi Dejavu, 

 

Just checking in to see how you’re doing. You said you only had one decent day the other week. Are you getting any more decent days? Maybe a few more decent hours? I hope you get a few more windows soon.

 

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. 

 

sending hugs🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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Thank you dear @Carmie for checking on me. You have no idea how I appreciate it. I feel so isolated from my own life. It's nice to know I'm not alone and there are others who understand. After that one better day followed another 5 days of back to hell. Anxiety/depression/ inner tremor was so bad yesterday I was convinced I wasn't going to survive this and wrote out a will. Today was better with decreased anxiety and inner tremor, so I'm very grateful for that. Only two crying spells too, so that's better. Physical symptoms are still very much around - leg weakness, tremors and dizziness - but my vision is better today also. Depression is still bothering me, but a great deal of it is situational and grief-related. I am not normally depressed. 

 

Another reason to be hopeful - I *might* have actually found a pdoc who understands. I told my tale of woe to his intake person, and she had him call me personally. He claims he does not automatically believe everyone with anxiety or depression should be on meds, and says he knows that ADWD is "very much a real thing" for many people and that it sounds like I got some irresponsible medical advice in the past. He says he can help with a careful slow taper and that I will be in charge of how fast. His exact words were, "it's my expertise, but it's your body." He says he can interpret my DNA test and answer some questions that I have about that (questions my PCP cannot seem to answer). Incredibly, he is a psychiatrist who also does psychotherapy (which to me means 1 - he's willing to actually work with patients instead of preemptively doping them up, and 2 - he might not be a total shill for Big Pharma). He mentioned coordinating treatment with my ND, and says he believes the accupuncture I'm getting can actually help. Sounds too good to be true, but I'll find out on Jan 7. Sorry to sound jaded but after the past few years, I really don't trust anything in a white coat anymore.

 

How is your CFS treating you? Hope you are getting rest and relief.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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I've had two days of relief from the crippling anxiety and depression. It has unfortunately begun to return this evening. Not sure I would call the past two days a "window" exactly, but maybe more of a shift from less emotional to more physical symptoms. Less anxiety; more dizziness  nausea and interrupted sleep. But any respite from the crippling anxiety and despair is welcome. Last break I had was a week ago, and it only lasted one evening. Assuming - and hoping! - this latest uptick in anxiety is transitory, then I'm on 2 days and counting this time. I'm always so disappointed when it doesn't last. I know I shouldn't be. Does the fact that I'm seeing improvement - short-lived as it may be - mean stabilization is occurring? My therapist tells me to "talk" to my brain and tell it to upregulate those receptors. Sounds silly, but I've been doing it anyway. Couldn't hurt.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Any improvement in symptoms is a good sign.

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

On 12/4/2015 at 2:41 AM, apace41 said:

 

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.  

 

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you so much @ChessieCat - that makes a lot of sense. 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm pleased that it helps.

 

It's a shame we don't have a "window into the brain" so we can see what is actually happening.  I think it would make this whole withdrawal stuff so much easier to cope with.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm going to try and find a video I watched about the process of downregulation/upregulation of GABA receptors that I stumbled upon during my benzo taper. The same would apply for serotonin and norepinephrine receptors. It was a digital simulation of the action of the brain and CNS as it worked toward homeostasis in a CT withdrawal and then contrasted with a reasonable taper. Every time I was tempted to speed up my taper I would watch it. A picture really is worth a thousand words. Unfortunately it was on my old phone, and besides, like many people, after my withdrawal I really didn't want any reminders. I threw away all my notes too, which I wish I hadn't done. I had no idea I would ever be going through anything like this again, since according to the pdoc, "Zoloft is so gentle you can taper for a couple of weeks and then just walk off." 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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On 12/29/2018 at 7:19 PM, Dejavu said:

I'm going to try and find a video I watched about the process of downregulation/upregulation of GABA receptors that I stumbled upon during my benzo taper. The same would apply for serotonin and norepinephrine receptors. It was a digital simulation of the action of the brain and CNS as it worked toward homeostasis in a CT withdrawal and then contrasted with a reasonable taper. Every time I was tempted to speed up my taper I would watch it. A picture really is worth a thousand words. Unfortunately it was on my old phone, and besides, like many people, after my withdrawal I really didn't want any reminders. I threw away all my notes too, which I wish I hadn't done. I had no idea I would ever be going through anything like this again, since according to the pdoc, "Zoloft is so gentle you can taper for a couple of weeks and then just walk off." 

Your Pdoc, is a nut case. There is nothing "gentle", about Zoloft.

I don't know how Doctots can live with them selves by prescribing that poison to people. 

Hang in there,  you will get better. 

I know how exhausting the whole healing process is, but try to be patient and take each day as it comes. 

Take care,  Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Mentor

Dejavu,

 

If you find that link to the video I would love to see it. 

 

There is nothing gentle about Zoloft. I got the same thing from my doc, he said I shouldn't be having these problems getting off, it shouldn't take so long.  Then he kept hurrying me along.

 

How is the the liquid Zoloft going for you? I know you have been struggling with anxiety and depression as well as other physical symptoms.  How have you been with that?  Hang in there my friend, this is very difficult but you will improve with time.

 

Warm wishes,

Rachel

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

 

NEW INFORMATION FOR GABAPENTIN TAPER

April 29, 2022 900 mg to 800 mg (11%), May 29, 2022 800 to 700 mg (12.5%), June 20, 2022 700 to 650mg (8%), July 20, 2022 650 to 575 (12%), August 20,  575 to 500 (13%),  Sept 20, 2020 500 to 475mg (5%) Nov 7, 2022 475 to 425 (11%), Nov 21, 2022 500mg

Medications: Gabapentin, Prednisone 1.5mg a day, Cortisol Inhaler daily. 

HISTORY FOR ZOLOFT TAPER

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft.  Put on Gabapentin at 900mg a day in 2016 due to antidepressant withdrawal. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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