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Dylanmatthew: Lexapro withdrawal. I'm going through a very tough time and I'm very afraid


Dylanmatthew

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also I have been taking low doses of chewable peptop bismol for stomach upset...for about a month. every other day or so...am i harming myself

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

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The only information I could find was from Drugs.com, which suggested that you separate the Lexapro and the Pepto by an hour or two so that the Pepto doesn't bind to the Lexapro and make some of it pass out of the body without being absorbed. If this happens, you will not get the full effect of the Lexapro dosage that you are taking.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg

Taper is 91% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Thanks Gridley. Never knew that. I'm home now. I had a weird heavy feeling to my head again. Fatigue is back. Anxiety isn't far either. Slight body aches. 

How disappointing... 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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Hi Dylan,

 

That's great news that you managed to get through the day at work and also drive home with no major problems.  The first time doing something is the hardest.  If you feel anxious tomorrow, remind yourself that you did okay on the first day back and that you can do it again.

 

Don't forget that anxiety causes other things to happen in the body which aren't withdrawal symptoms.  People who aren't taking any drugs get the same sensations when they get anxious.  Go back and check out the diagram with the labels explaining what happens.  The more you learn about what things are caused by the anxiety the sooner you will recognise when the anxiety is starting and it is easier to calm yourself the sooner you know it is happening.

 

The other day I had to return to work after getting upset the week before.  I was embarrassed about it.  As soon as I drove in the gate I started feeling sick in the stomach, nausea.  But I recognised it as the start of anxiety so I did some deep breathing and some self talk telling myself that it was okay, people understand and that I only had to go through the "return" once.  The nausea left quite quickly.  I had nipped it in the bud.  If I hadn't done that I probably would have burst into tears and ended up crying uncontrollably in the car and probably would not have managed to go inside.

 

And it definitely sounds like the reinstatement is starting to kick in.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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It seems what causes me anxiety is when my withdrawal symptoms start up and I end up worrying a lot about how ill I feel. Like right now I'm laying on my couch with a blanket watching my brother play games. I feel like I got the flu again like I did 2 days ago. Tylenol won't help? 

 

I have to admit. I feel so miserable that I have been contemplating just taking the Prozac 20mg I was prescribed. But I know deep down that is a bad idea from what I have learned here. 

 

You have very good coping skills to stop the anxiety. For my commute I had my dad on the phone with me today and it helped so much. 

 

You sure it's working? I mean I felt no flu like symptoms yesterday but they came back today at 1pm sadly. I feel like dirt. But like you said it takes 7 days for it to affect the brain. 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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Well done for going to work. Keep it up! 

 

You will fair well when this is over, keeping work up. 

 

Never give into this if medication free is how you want to be. 

 

Taking 20mg of prozac is not a wise choice. I have been there done that and ended up worse off.  Its up to you. 

 

Just to let you know i was doing well last week. Had lots of good positive thoughts and felt like the old me. Then i got a flu and have felt really awful since. Also my sleep is now affected and my anxiety is most of the day again for no reason. But i know this is my Autonomic nervous system and possibly the virus ramping it up. I will just have to be patient and accept it until it settles. 

 

Or i could take an SSRI?? Nope!! Been there done that... look where that got me. NO WERE!!!

 

keep going... stabalise and do a good taper. Dont let it beat ya.

 

Leo

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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Okay so the times I feel good are called windows. Right now I just need to ride the waves it would seem. 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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Yes...... Enjoy it when you feel good. 

 

When you feel bad just say this will pass and i will get through these stupid withdrawals. They wont last forever

 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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It scares me how you still suffer from withdrawals after 6 months of quitting but I am realizing that isn't too uncommon. I hope you find your own relief soon. 

I really got blind sided by this whole withdrawal thing. 2 doctors told me I could cold turkey lexapro and be fine. I did my own taper to make sure. Went over 2 months feeling no different. Then out of nowhere symptoms started appearing. 

 

Having the flu while withdrawing sounds like hell. Hope you beat the flu soon. Also today I could only manage a half day but I'm still proud. 

 

I actually never have any terrible side effects while on Lexapro. I just felt it didn't do me any good so I wish I got off it sooner. 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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I'm freaking the heck out this to might have diabetes now. I bought a blood sugar reader and it's usually around 90 to 100.

I ate a banana and checked it 15 minutes later. It was 195dl

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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Hi Dylan,

 

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I was on the same boat. Was on 10mg lexapro for a year then tapered for 4 months (even though dr said i could taper safely for 2 weeks). 6 weeks after last dose was when i experienced severe withdrawals and had to reinstate like you at .30mg. The feeling that you're gonna die are normal withdrawal symptoms, and YOU WON'T. That feeling will also go away soon. 

 

Be proud of yourself for going to work while feeling like this and driving! It sounds like the reinstatement has given you a bit of a relief already. That's a good sign!! Give yourself 2 - 3 months to stabilize and then taper the small dose. I use one of the member's success stories here as inspiration. Her name is happy2heal. She was on ADs for decades and on her last withdrawal experience she had to reinstate .30mg. She successfully tapered it off for a year and just continued to improve from reinstatement all the way to 1 year off drugs. 

 

Please hang in there and allow yourself the help you're getting from your parents. We need as much support as possible!

Prozac (?mg)

- March 6, 2017. took it for 6 days and on day 7 had an adverse reaction. I believe it was serotonin syndrome.

Lexapro (Escitalopram) 10mg

-March 15 , 2017: first dose of Lexapro and stabilized within 3 weeks.

-April 19, 2018:  began to taper 1 yr from first dose

- style of tapering: 10 mg to 5mg (2 months). 5mg to 2.5mg (2-3 weeks) 2.5mg to 1.25mg (2 weeks). 1.25mg every other day (2 weeks).

- August 19, 2018: 0mg

- felt fine for weeks after 0mg. Had minor panic attacks if I didn't eat every 4 hrs. otherwise felt fine. 
- Mid September: had teeth extractions done, given antibiotics (ammox) and had severe rash reaction to it, was then given a steroid shot to alleviate the rash. This is when things started to go downhill. 

- October 4, 2018: intense withdrawal symptoms started 6 weeks after 0 mg.  

- October 13, 2018: reinstated using the oral solution ( .20mg)/ 10.17.18: .30mg/ 12.8.18: .29mg/12.31.18: .28mg

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5 hours ago, Dylanmatthew said:

You have very good coping skills to stop the anxiety.

 

The skills I have now are things that I have learned since I joined SA and started tapering.  I wish I had learned them many years ago when I was in my teens.

 

3 hours ago, WarriorWomanLV said:

I use one of the member's success stories here as inspiration. Her name is happy2heal.

 

This is the link:  happy2heal-my-victory-statement

 

4 hours ago, Dylanmatthew said:

Also today I could only manage a half day but I'm still proud. 

 

And yes, you should feel proud.  You may have been worn out after the full first day back yesterday.  Remember one day at a time, and if necessary hour by hour.

 

If you start to feel anxiety, I suggest that you don't post about it it here when it starts happening.  That can make your anxiety worse because you are thinking about it and living the experience and feelings.  Instead, start using the calming techniques and non drug coping methods to settle yourself down.  Then later you can post about how you dealt with the episode, as long as writing about it doesn't trigger another attack of anxiety.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Thanks for your comment Warrior Woman. I can't believe I was on Lexapro for 5.5 years. You were on for 1 year and had withdrawals.... I just wish I was better prepared. 

So you reinstated 0.30mg Lexapro when did you feel the withdrawals lessen? I just took my 4th dose using the water dilution method they taught me here. I'm taking 0.5mg. I hope I feel better soon. 

 

I had bad night sleep only 4 hours and a lot of anxiety last night and especially this morning. I called in... Again. I'm out of vacation officially. I feel like my life is hanging by a thread. I'm told by many people to get professional help. My doctors assistant called me this morning asking if I'm taking the Prozac they recently prescribed me. 

 

Im so miserable. This is the worst time of my life. I've never had such self doubt, anxiety and depression are off the charts. I don't look forward to anything I don't feel pleasure from anything. I don't understand how I'm not suicidal. Yesterday evening I felt the flu like symptoms return. I just want off this ride. I'm going to lose my job. I am 26 and don't feel like I can make it in the adult world. 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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Dylan.

 

Dont beat yourself up about work and how long you were on meds compared to others. We all heal in different time frames. Im sure work will understand if you explain to them.

 

Please read Dr Glenmullens list of WD symptoms. Also read now Aeromans success story from Lexapro on the site. Also read Santinos and pugs.

 

I asked you to look at Michael Priebe on youtube. Did you do that? Also look on google at Baylissa Frederick. 

 

You need to accept were you are and that time will be the only thing to heal you. However you must educate yourself to understand what id happening. Take a look at Brass monkeys essay on the site. Are we there yet its called. 

 

Read my symptoms when i first came to the site. There the same as yours now!!! It gets better. Its not easy daily but you must keep moving forward. Do what you can daily. 

 

I would wait until you assess the lexapro before thinking of other drugs.

 

Breathe mate.

 

Ya got this. 

 

You will be an adult in the adult world with more strength than Goliath.

 

Leo

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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On 12/10/2018 at 7:09 PM, jozeff said:

When a person quits medication and then takes them again several times, they are at risk of developing kindling. This condition is a worsening of withdrawal symptoms each time the individual attempts to quit the substance again. The body becomes increasingly sensitive to changes in neurotransmitters.

 

3 hours ago, Dylanmatthew said:

So reinstatement has its risks. That's too bad. 

 

Please don't start worrying about this.  It might happen when people go on a drug, off a drug, on again (or a different drug) changes the doses up and down a few times, updose or reinstate too much.  The brain can end up becoming very confused about what it needs to do because it's always trying to adjust to the chemicals a person is taking and it's always trying to regain homeostasis or factory settings.

 

You've been on your drug and then off and have reinstated at a low dose.  The chance of kindling in your case is very small.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Dr Glenmullens list of WD symptoms

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Aeromans success story from Lexapro

 

aeroman-i-have-recovered-from-lexapro-and-cipro

 

1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Santinos

 

santino-made-it-and-stayed-sane

 

1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

pugs

 

pug-your-miracle-is-coming-hang-on

 

1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Take a look at Brass monkeys essay on the site. Are we there yet its called. 

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Thanks

 

Im not clever enough to post links haha. 

 

Cheers

 

Leo

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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Hello all who are supporting me. No flu like symptoms today. Fatigue wasn't as bad. My anhedonia is bad still. Lack of appetite isn't as bad as the previous weeks. Still felt off and sleepy because of the 4 hours of sleep. I woke up with a lot of anxiety. I have to go to work tomorrow no matter how miserable I am. I will see about signing up for FMLA just incase things get worse or stay bad. I regret so badly staying home today. I just sat in my cluttered home ruminating. 

I watched the YouTube videos by several people who went through WD, lovely grind was one of them. It's nice hearing the success stories. Gives me hope. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I wish I was younger and had less responsibilities while going through this hell. 

 

I appreciate all the links I'm being given. I spend most of the day on my phone sadly but I'm learning a lot. I really hate my job. I have to sit in my no window cubicle... Anyways

 

I will not worry about the kindling that I learned today. I wish I could get away with only working part time. 

 

You guys are so kind and helpful. I love you guys... 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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That's good that you are noticing that your symptoms are easing.  Whilst you are at home, take the time to check out the non drug coping techniques linked previously.  You don't have to go through all of them, just check out a few so you don't get overwhelmed.  Perhaps jot down a few notes so you can refer back to it.

 

It's a good idea to change what you say to yourself about your job.  It's called CBT or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, but I have nicknamed it Change Bad Thinking.  Instead of thinking I hate my job say I don't really like my job but I am thankful that I have a job.  These sites have some really great stuff:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/, this is where the anxiety diagram came from.  CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

 

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

 

When we are feeling awful a job that we can usually cope with, even if it is boring, seems so much worse.  When I am feeling horrible and have a bit of anxiety the noise from the air conditioner at work really irritates me.  When I'm okay, I notice it but it doesn't annoy me.  I did buy some noise cancelling headphones on Monday and will using them for the first time tomorrow and I think they will help.  The volunteer job that I am doing at this place is very boring.  My task I am working on at the moment and have been for 2 days a week for the last 6 months, is labelling scanned documents.  However, because I don't have to concentrate too much I am able to listen to something whilst working.  I've downloaded some Old Time Radio shows (one of them is Superman) and some audio short stories.

 

I'll tell you a funny thing that happened the other day.  I was listening to a story called "No Clue".  I had listened to 4 chapters and then we had our prayer time which we have for 1/2 hour every day.  The organisation records audio Bible stories for people in their own language.  After prayer time I went to lunch for 1/2 hour.  When I went back to work I started listening to chapter 5.  I thought there must have been a second murder.  The first lady's body had been found on the lawn and the second lady's body was inside at the dining table.  I listened for a bit longer but didn't recognise names that were mentioned.  I thought that maybe the wrong chapter had been uploaded.  Thankfully they had PDF documents online of the books.  It turned out that I had downloaded 2 books, one called No Clue (1st book) and The Clue (2nd book) and I had started listening the wrong one.  No wonder it made no sense.  Anyway I tried to go back to chapter 5 of the 1st book but had got confused so started listening to something completely different.

 

If you like Star Trek, I've found this and it is very good.  http://www.loyalbooks.com/book/Star-Trek-Section-31-Files

 

And this is the other Star Trek one I will listen to when I've finished Section 31 Files.  http://www.loyalbooks.com/book/Star-Trek-Lost-Frontier

 

I'm pleased that you have decided not to worry about kindling.  At the moment all you need to do is get through each day the best you can.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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 Hi Dylan, 

 

I'm glad to hear you're slightly better. It's tough i know, because even when you're feeling slightly better there's always some symptom in the background. Don't beat yourself up for this happening to you in your 20s. Your body is young and is more likely to be stronger and able to recover faster. Also, lots of older folks on here have recovered from years of ADs. If they can, so will you. 

 

I'm a stay at home mom. And during the acute days im very glad i didnt work, but now a lot of times, I wish i was distracted by work. You'll find a lot of people here say that routine and work helped them in the process, because they're able to focus on something other than the struggle of withdrawals. Please be gentle with yourself. One day you will be fully recovered again. This chapter in your life will close and it will make you stronger!

Prozac (?mg)

- March 6, 2017. took it for 6 days and on day 7 had an adverse reaction. I believe it was serotonin syndrome.

Lexapro (Escitalopram) 10mg

-March 15 , 2017: first dose of Lexapro and stabilized within 3 weeks.

-April 19, 2018:  began to taper 1 yr from first dose

- style of tapering: 10 mg to 5mg (2 months). 5mg to 2.5mg (2-3 weeks) 2.5mg to 1.25mg (2 weeks). 1.25mg every other day (2 weeks).

- August 19, 2018: 0mg

- felt fine for weeks after 0mg. Had minor panic attacks if I didn't eat every 4 hrs. otherwise felt fine. 
- Mid September: had teeth extractions done, given antibiotics (ammox) and had severe rash reaction to it, was then given a steroid shot to alleviate the rash. This is when things started to go downhill. 

- October 4, 2018: intense withdrawal symptoms started 6 weeks after 0 mg.  

- October 13, 2018: reinstated using the oral solution ( .20mg)/ 10.17.18: .30mg/ 12.8.18: .29mg/12.31.18: .28mg

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17 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

It's a good idea to change what you say to yourself about your job.  It's called CBT or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, but I have nicknamed it Change Bad Thinking.  Instead of thinking I hate my job say I don't really like my job but I am thankful that I have a job.  These sites have some really great stuff:

This is a good way of thinking about it. I don't hate my job. I am so thankful for having it and I had a lot of luck getting where I am as well. I can't let anxiety take over and ruin my job and life. This past month has been very hard for me. I have not learned very good coping skills since being afflicted with anxiety as a young child and the depression I felt after high school made it all much harder on me. At age 19 I believe was when I got on my first drug. I cannot remember how much, what drug or how long. I feel like it was bupropion for a few months. I was still a kid, I didn't know they were harmful. The drug did nothing good or bad for me. I stopped taking it cold turkey. Got brain zaps for a few days and that was it. 2 years later I found my anxiety and agorophobia to be hindering my life so I went on lexapro and got random therapy sessions. I felt...not as anxious. I mostly felt the same. But over time something scary was happening. I slowly began to not enjoy life. Anhedonia. Even while I was depressed I enjoyed my time with my best friend. I lived with him at his parent's. I had a lot of free time since I didn't work a lot or full time jobs due to anxiety. I loved that time of my life. I got to play so many video games. I enjoyed them so much. I escaped into them for 8 hours at a time or more. I loved hiking with my dog. Escaping into nature was amazing back then. I enjoyed watching TV shows. Riding my bike. Years past by and I noticed I would have less joy in these activities. I would grow bored of a game quickly and buy more trying to find that one game to spark excitement into me. Never happened after 2017. Everything is stale and has no meaning or joy.

I want my life back. I am unsure where it all went wrong. Or why my mind is anxious, depressed and unable to feel strong emotions. Is it the drug, the withdrawal, a hormone/vitamin deficiency, a lifestyle flaw, or my brain is actually ill on it own. 

 

I am also so frustrated with everything and I am unsure who to trust. I just got off the phone with a friend who tells me I need to not listen to anyone on forums about how to care for myself and my health in general. He said people on this website have an "agenda" and could be paid from outside sources to push it. I don't believe that. He hasn't read everyone's story and saw how they suffered and plenty still suffer. He just tried to make me doubt I was having withdrawals. Saying a "DR. hasn't blood tested you in almost a year, it could be hormones". I really believe I am in withdrawal. He laughed when i told him I am taking a liquid 0.5mg to relieve WD. I just dropped the subject after that... Oh and he said WD wouldn't last months or a year. 

 

17 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

I'll tell you a funny thing that happened the other day.  I was listening to a story called "No Clue".  I had listened to 4 chapters and then we had our prayer time which we have for 1/2 hour every day.  The organisation records audio Bible stories for people in their own language.  After prayer time I went to lunch for 1/2 hour.  When I went back to work I started listening to chapter 5.  I thought there must have been a second murder.  The first lady's body had been found on the lawn and the second lady's body was inside at the dining table.  I listened for a bit longer but didn't recognise names that were mentioned.  I thought that maybe the wrong chapter had been uploaded.  Thankfully they had PDF documents online of the books.  It turned out that I had downloaded 2 books, one called No Clue (1st book) and The Clue (2nd book) and I had started listening the wrong one.  No wonder it made no sense.  Anyway I tried to go back to chapter 5 of the 1st book but had got confused so started listening to something completely different.

That is pretty funny. I would've been very confused myself. Luckily you figured it out! Your job seems pretty relaxing. I'm not into Star Trek. I am not into anything really, I know it's sad.

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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2 hours ago, WarriorWomanLV said:

I'm a stay at home mom. And during the acute days im very glad i didnt work, but now a lot of times, I wish i was distracted by work. You'll find a lot of people here say that routine and work helped them in the process, because they're able to focus on something other than the struggle of withdrawals. Please be gentle with yourself. One day you will be fully recovered again. This chapter in your life will close and it will make you stronger!

I hear people say work is a good distraction. Honestly, it's been terrible. I am currently at work now. It's almost noon. My anxiety was through the roof when I came to work. There was no parking spots, had to park faaar, it was busy walking into and my anxiety was terrible. I am in my cubicle now and I am more relaxed, I hope I can make it 3 more hours. 

 

But yes, I am better. I am not sure if it's because I am reistating the 0.5mg lexapro back into my system or not. It's day 5 now of taking it. My symptoms today are sometimes an ache in my throat(not sick), it's easy to make me anxious, a little fatigue, not as bad as it's been. head feels off. Still, my head felt sooo weird the last 2 weeks. Like it was bloated and pressured. 

Thanks for checking in on me

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

Link to comment

. I just got off the phone with a friend who tells me I need to not listen to anyone on forums about how to care for myself and my health in general. He said people on this website have an "agenda" and could be paid from outside sources to push it. I don't believe that. He hasn't read everyone's story and saw how they suffered and plenty still suffer. He just tried to make me doubt I was having withdrawals. Saying a "DR. hasn't blood tested you in almost a year, it couldbe hormones". I really believe I am in withdrawal. Helaughed when i told him I am taking a liquid 0.5mg to relieve WD. I just dropped the subject after that... Oh and he said WD wouldn't last months or a year. 

 

I THOUGHT THE SAME...... however i rang a place in england and they assures me wd can last a long while. Also that my symptoms were that of WD syndrome. 

 

Then i looked all over youtube and thought surely all these people are not making this up. 

 

Just think about the way you feel now.... did you feel that way before meds? Answers probly no. 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Dylan,

 

Having followed your posts over the last few days I’m sensing that the reinstatement has a had a positive effect and although you’re still in a tough spot, you seem to writing with less despair. I could be wrong though!

 

In terms of what your friend said, I can empathise completely. During my 7 years of on and off difficulties with mental health, friends and family have told me all kinds of reasons why I’m not feeling good and have even insisted that my behaviours make myself worse. Unfortunately, people are the way they are and they can only understand or process so much at a given time of their life. A few years ago I would have NEVER entertained reading a forum like this, and would have been ignorant to say things like ‘these people need to get out more and stop overthinking’ or ‘they need to learn to meditate, as that helped improve my issues’. 

 

Try to follow your own heart and gut feeling. You are the one who has to live every single day as Dylan, with all the good and all the bad. Your friend will never be able to understand or experience your life exactly as you do. So try to make the best decision you possibly can based on what you have experienced, and if it does not end up working, it’s another thing crossed off the list at least! 

 

Keep strong!  

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I can only provide information and make suggestions.

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Hi Dylan,

 

Your story is getting more positive!

 

See, keep calm and flow with your symptoms. That is way better than trying to fight every feeling and symptom.

 

I'm pretty confident that you are doing the right thing here. Just go on doing it! Sounds easy and it can be hard but it's the best thing right now.

 

Keep us informed about yourself!

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

Sep- 2016 - Okt 2017 citalopram some months 15 mg some months 20 mg

Nov 2017- Apr 2018 citalopram 25 mg

Apr 2018 -  Jun 2018 citalopram 3 month TAPER too fast  from 25mg to 16.5 mg (0.1 mg per day decrease, felt horrible and crashed)

Jun 2018 - Aug13th 2018 citalopram trying to stabilize at 16.5 mg for 5 wks

- August 14th 2018 - April 29th 2019  citalopram 18 mg (1.5 mg updose).

 

2019 apr 27 : START taper citalopram @ 18 mg: 29Jun 16.4 mg / 19aug 15.4 mg / 25aug 15.2 mg / 30sep 14.0 mg / 4dec 13.1 mg

2020  03Jan 12.75 mg / 28Jan 12.29 mg / 18Feb 11.83 mg, 25Feb 11.68 mg hold.. / 7May 11.33 mg hold...., 4Aug 10.98 mg / 5Dec 10.0 mg 4 month hold...

2021 30mar 9.8 mg / 06apr 9.5 mg /  13apr 9.4 mg / 14may 8,5 mg / 04jun 8,0 mg / 11jun 7.75 mg, 02jul 7.35 mg /  09jul 7.2 mg hold 3 weeks during holiday /31jul 7 mg/ 8aug 6.8 mg / 15aug 6.63mg / 22aug 6.5mg / 1sep 6.3 mg / 8sep 6.15 mg / 15sep 6.0 mg / 22sep 5.9 mg / 29sep 5.8 mg / 04 oct 5.65 mg / 10oct 5.55 mg / 17oct 5.45 mg / 24oct 5.35mg / 30oct 5.25 mg hold 3 wks / 22nov 5.15 mg / 01dec 5.1mg / 12dec 5.0mg / 20dec 4.85mg / 30dec 4.70mg

2022   08jan 4.5 mg / 16jan 4.4 mg / 23jan 4.3 mg / 27jan 4.2 mg / 18feb 4.1 mg / 25feb 4.0 mg / 04mar 3.9 mg / 11mar 3.75 mg / 18Mar 3.65 mg / 09apr 3.55 mg / 16apr 3.45 mg / 23apr 3.35 mg / 01may 3.25 mg / 8may 3.15 mg / 17may 3.10 mg / 28 may 3.0 mg / 7jun 2.94 mg / 18 Jun 2.88 mg / 27 jun 2.84 mg / 05 jul 2.80 mg / 16 jul 2.75 mg / 23 jul 2.70 mg / 01aug 2.65 mg / 09aug 2.60 mg hold 5wks / 18sep 2.55 mg / 25sep 2.5 mg /02oct 2.45 mg / 10oct 2.40 mg / 19oct 2.35 mg / 27oct 2.30 mg / 05nov 2.27 mg / 14nov 2.25 mg / 22nov 2.20 mg / 29nov 2.10mg / 09dec 2.05 mg / 15dec 2.0 mg 

2023  hold 2.0 mg for 5 months / 05may 1.95 mg / 14may 1.90 mg / 24may 1.87 mg / 02jun 1.85 mg / 17jun 1.82 mg / 27jun 1.79 mg / 07jul 1.75 mg / 31jul 1.72 mg / 12aug 1.69mg / 27aug 1.67 mg / 04sep 1.65 mg / 09sep 1.63 mg / 22sep 1.61 mg / 27sep 1.60 mg / 12oct 1.58 mg / 18oct 1.56 mg / 31oct 1.54 mg / 06nov 1.52 mg / 18nov 1.50 mg / 04dec 1.48 mg / 11dec 1.46 mg / 22dec 1.45 mg / 28dec 1.44 mg

2024 01jan 1.43 mg / 06jan 1.42 mg/ 10jan 1.40 mg hold / 08apr 1.38 mg / 15apr 1.36 mg / 20apr 1.34 mg

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1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Just think about the way you feel now.... did you feel that way before meds? Answers probly no. 

Hey, leo. You're right. I didn't feel like this until a few months after my last dose of 2.5mg(roughly, I just broke the pills in half and most of the time they weren't even perfectly cut!) I never had such symptoms before. My parent's wanted to take me to the ER a few times because of how terrible of condition I was in. Luckily I didn't go. i am in the USA, the bill would've been HIGH.

 

1 hour ago, eymen23 said:

Having followed your posts over the last few days I’m sensing that the reinstatement has a had a positive effect and although you’re still in a tough spot, you seem to writing with less despair. I could be wrong though!

You're right. I do feel a little less despair today. I didn't make it to work on time like I wanted but I made it to work. 1.45 hours left of the day! Glad you notice improvements in my posts! I don't feel normal but I don't feel like I got the flu with my head feel pressure. I might be experiencing a window? Either way I will stick with taking 0.5mg lexapro and see how much I improve from that. I still have a lot of worries and concerns about my body because of the aches I feel in certain spots. but I am too anxious to go to a dentist or doctor. Hope I can do something soon. For all I know I have testicular cancer. (See how bad I worry!) 

Hope you're doing well yourself with tapering lexapro.

 

1 hour ago, jozeff said:

Your story is getting more positive!

Glad people are noticing! I fear the anhedonia will be sticking around, though. I know for sure I am no where near out of the woods when it comes to symptoms. I could feel miserable any minute now and I am ready for it. So, Jozeff, think I will have to raise the dose from 0.5mg to 1mg anytime soon?

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

Link to comment

Well guess what??

 

I did not have such symptoms until 8 weeks after i stopped my meds. So we are very alike in that respect. 

 

Must be a common thing this withdrawal caper. YOUR NOT ALONE.

 

Chin up and do what you can each day. Dont be your own bully!!!

 

STOP - slow down, take a breathe, observe your thoughts and challenge, push forward.... 

 

There you go i made that up just for you. I may use it too lol. 

 

Stop thinking of increases, see how you feel after 1 week. 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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What was the first WD symptom you felt, Leo? Also, what made you believe it was WD at all? I had no idea what was happening to me, I thought my depression and anxiety was just terrible because it's cold and dark out. Finally had someone tell me it's because of lexapro discontinuation.

STOP, that's clever. I will make sure to use that. Yeah I am only day 5 so day 8 or so I will see where I am at on increasing.

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

Link to comment

Dylan read my posts. 

 

You need to use the links you have been sent. 

 

Everyone is different. I noticed dizziness and anxiety first. 

 

Do me a favour..... read the links you have been provided. Start and post about what is good or what has changed. Try and accept what is happening. 

 

It will help you to learn and calm yourself. If you learn this now it will help you in the future also. 

 

Try to relax and teach yourself how to relax and go with it. 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
54 minutes ago, Dylanmatthew said:

think I will have to raise the dose from 0.5mg to 1mg anytime soon?

 

As you have stated, it has only been 5 days.  The fact that there have been improvements in your symptoms during this time is a really good sign that reinstatement is working.

 

My suggestion:  DO NOT even think about updosing.  The best thing to do at the moment is to not think about it.  You don't need to worry about it at this time.  It is just adding stress.  Just go with the flow.  If in about a week or two your symptoms are unbearable then we can discuss whether increasing the dose might be an option.  However, please note that you would not double the dose.  It would only be a tiny increase.

 

Have you been keeping daily symptom notes on paper, and rating your symptoms is also helpful?  There are sheets to print or use on the computer here:  Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Hi, Chessie. I believe you're right about the reinstatement working for me. Symptoms aren't as severe. Of course I got a bad headache now with fatigue. At least I'm home now. I'm probably going to give in and pop 650mg acetaminophen. (unless I shouldn't?) 

Ok I won't worry about dosing unless I feel worse or not better after a week or 2. I'll write my symptoms out. 

Than you chessie. 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

Link to comment

Can I get up jaw molar aches randomly from withdrawal.... 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

Link to comment

This headache is terrible... I don't know what to do to releive it. I hardly ever get headaches!!! Idk if I can sleep tonight with this ache

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
3 hours ago, Dylanmatthew said:

I'm probably going to give in and pop 650mg acetaminophen.

 

Have you taken these?  If not, it's okay to do so.  If you took them 3 hours ago then you could take more in about 1 hour.

 

You might find that having a nice bath or shower might help relief the headache and help you to sleep.

 

Also, when we are in pain, we don't always breathe properly.  You could try doing some relaxation breathing exercises.  Or going for a gentle walk might help.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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I decided to tough it out and just try to sleep since it's almost 9:30pm anyways. I want to take minimal drugs besides Lexapro since my cns is sensative. I stopped taking my multi vitamins and vit d3 too. Although I feel the d3 is OK. Tomorrow I'm buying omega 3 and magnesium and will try one at a time. 

 

Thanks for the tips, Chessie. I found an ice pack helps distract me. Goodnight :) Hope you have a great rest of your day

 

2010 bupropion(?) approx 1 month, cold turkey

2013 Lexapro 10mg from 2013-2015. Reduced to 5mg for 2.5-3ish years. Reduced to 2.5mg for 2 months then stopped early Sept 2018
Dec 8th 2018 Lexapro reinstated 0.5mg

Link to further details 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Dylanmatthew said:

I stopped taking my multi vitamins and vit d3 too. Although I feel the d3 is OK.

 

If you've been taking these for a while, then it should be okay to continue them.  I would definitely continue to take the Vit D3.

 

You can always reintroduce the multivitamin in a month or so when thing settle down a bit more.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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