Dylanmatthew: Lexapro withdrawal. I'm going through a very tough time and I'm very afraid

[WantoffVen]

Hi Dylan, I too live in IL. I'm in Peoria. We are lucky no snow but it has been extremely dreary and gray. I think no sunshine adds to despondent feelings. I pray for folks on this site. So know I am praying for you. Hang in there. I know winter makes everything worse as well as the holidays. Keep coming on here because here you can express your feelings and we understand unlike your family. Also, since we live in Illinois we are bound to be depressed - lol - that was a joke but sadly kind of true. Take care. I'll keep reading your posts.

[ryan1982]

Hey Dylan, 

I’m going through Lexapro withdrawals myself after 13 years on it. It’s been a really hard road and I still have a long way to go but it does get better. The key for me has been a stable dose until I’m ready to continue my taper AND limiting any extraneous supplements or medications. I’m also a fairly young guy so I understand seeing people live their lives and being envious. We’re going through a difficult time so that we can be those people later. Keep the faith. 

 

If I can help you in any way, please let me know. 

[eymen23]

Hi Dylan,

 

How are you doing? I’m hoping that you posting less often means you’re out enjoying life more than you were a few weeks back.

 

 

[Dylanmatthew]

Thanks for checking in, eymen. I'm not enjoying life. I'm just not suffering as badly as before. I think I've just realized that I know i need to do more and get out more to help but I don't do anything to solve my problems. My life is just so boring and it's mostly my fault. 

I have also just not felt like commuticating online as much as I used to. I don't have much to talk about that I haven't already said. Life is what you make it some will say. I've made my life a prison for myself.

 

I hope I don't live long enough to grow old. 

[Dylanmatthew]

Chessie. I slept in this morning and forgot to make my liquid Lexapro. I panicked a little and made it. Only let it soak in water for 30min or so then mixed it up and took it. The water didn't taste and bitter like usual. Do you believe I didn't get the full 0.5mg dose? Also I took it 4 hours later than usual. Been feeling very fatigued and crappy lately. The weather has been horrible here. Haven't seen the sun in over a week. 

 

Im coping. I'm just depressed. I get invited to places and keep saying no or flaking last minute. My life is spent in a cubicle and at home. This is no life and I only have myself to blame. 

[Dylanmatthew]

The past week hasn't been good but especially today... I have finally got up to give my dog a walk. When I got home I bent over to take off my boots and when I stood straight I felt very off and weird in my head... My body just doesn't feel right. I feel unwell. Fatigued. This must be a wave. I was doing better for weeks now I'm hit with a wave. I am unsure about what to do at this point. Do I up my dose by 0.1mg or just keep sticking it out? I assume it's possible and normal to have waves over a month after reinstating the drug? 

[ryan1982]

Hey Dylan,

Just checking to see how you're doing.  Hoping all is well, sir.  

[Dylanmatthew]

Hey Ryan. I'm doing better. Some days I still question everything. My main problem that is worrying me is my fatigue. If what I'm experiencing is actually fatigue. I am unsure if something is very wrong with me or it's just depression and lingering WD. 

I have a very floaty feeling when I walk. I feel off. My head feels heavy and cloudy. My energy is verrrry low. Motivation is low. I just feel BAD. THIS ISN'T HOW A 27 (I'll be 27 tomorrow) YEAR OLD MAN IS SUPPOSED TO FEEL!

 

I really appreciate you commenting on my post. I felt a little forgotten. Thank you, Ryan

[ryan1982]

Thanks, Dylan. Sounds like you’re making progress. These drugs are really rough and you literally have to take it one little step at a time. Read back over your history and seems to me like you’ve made progress. 

 

I know, I’ve grappled with youth and this fight that we’re in too. I’ve made my peace with it...if I have go through it, I’d rather do it now then later in my life where I may not have as much fight. 

 

There’s just so many of us that the mods are overwhelmed. I’m certainly not knowledgeable but I’m here to lean on should you need me. 

[ryan1982]

And Happy Birthday sir!

[ChessieCat]

On 1/20/2019 at 3:26 AM, Dylanmatthew said:

Chessie. I slept in this morning and forgot to make my liquid Lexapro.

 

Sorry this got missed.

 

1 minute ago, ryan1982 said:

There’s just so many of us that the mods are overwhelmed.

 

The site can get very busy at times, and we have some mods on holidays as well.

[ChessieCat]

On 2/25/2019 at 9:01 AM, Dylanmatthew said:

I miss talking to you chessie.

 

Hi Dylan,

 

I'm really sorry that I'm not able to continue chatting with you like I did when you first joined.  I do volunteer work 3 days per week as well as being a moderator on Surviving Antidepressants.  SA is a very busy site with lots of members needing assistance and we get lots of new members joining all the time.  The moderators are unrostered volunteers who are experiencing their own withdrawal issues and we help out as we are able.  When you first joined you were going through a very difficult time and we had a lot of interaction during that time as I supported you with reinstating and the first couple of weeks as things settled down for you.  Unfortunately I'm not able to continue doing that now.

 

I would encourage you to visit other members topics and get to know them and their stories.  Maybe look for the members taking the same drug.  We have groups of members here who visit each others' topics and support each other.

 

 

On 2/28/2019 at 3:14 AM, Dylanmatthew said:

I cold turkied off Lexapro and 3 months later started feeling the effects. Anyways I reinstated to 0.5mg and have felt better. I'm fatigued a lot and I'm not enjoying life due to depression. 

 

I honestly don't see a point in being alive. I'm lonely. I want human touch but too afraid to do anything about it. 

 

I'm sorry to read that you are feeling so bad at this time.  I go through stages like that too so I do understand.  When things are like that all we can do is get through each day at a time.  Sometimes it is hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute.  I was dumped by a big wave when I overdid things last Friday/Saturday.  I had about 3 days that were really bad and all I could do was just keep reminding myself that I had to take care of myself and put one foot in front of the other.  It's been a week now and I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still not quite back to feeling how I did before Friday last week.

 

And Happy Birthday for earlier this week.  It was my grandson's 5th birthday on Saturday.

 

That may be part of what's causing you to feel so low at the moment.  It's made you stop and think about your life.

 

Q:  How are you feeling now compared to before you reinstated?

 

I suggest you go back and read about how badly you felt when you first joined.  It might help you to realise that you are doing better than you think.  It's better to compare how we are feeling now with how we felt at our worse.  Not compare how we are feeling now with how we were feeling at our best.  Unfortunately it can be a frustratingly slow process.  I've been tapering for 3+ years and I've still go 2 more to go.

[jozeff]

Hi Dylan, how are you??

 

Jozeff

[Dylanmatthew]

Hello. I'm hoping someone sees this. It has been awhile since I have been on this website. I have not gotten better. I have just felt miserable but recently it's taking a nose dive. My symptoms have gotten worse as of late. The anxiety has come back. 

 

Im struggling, guys. I am unsure what's wrong. I want death. I am not suicidal I just want the suffering to stop. I will list my symptoms:

Fatigue. This is a huge one. I feel like a corpse. It's hard to walk. When the fatigue is bad I feel this intense feeling of uneasiness I my head and it sometimes turns into a full blown anxiety attack. I struggle to get through the day. Fatigue is my demon. 

Anxiety. 

Anhedonia

Poor sleep

Losing weight slowly 

There is another symptom that is worrying me. This feeling in my head, especially when I walk, feels so weird and causes me panic. It feels like a thick ball is in my head. Like my brain feels funny. No pain. 

Idk guys. 

I've stuck with my 0.5mg liquid Lexapro. 

Edited July 26, 2019 by brassmonkey
Removed inappropriate material

[Kostas]

Hi Dylan, 

I'm very sorry you're feeling this way! 

If you have been checked by the doctors and there is nothing wrong, then what you are going through, is this damn protracted withdrawal! 

 

As you see here, lots of people are going through this difficult road, and lots of them eventually are improving. 

It's now very important to not give in to the despair, but to be close to people who can understand what you are going through, and give you encouragement. Even talk to people here, to distract!

 

Look to another young guy's here thread Kronos I think, of what similar symptoms going through, and the resilience he is showing. 

 

Good night from the tranquil and beautiful city of Athens Greece 

and take care please 

Kostas 

[ChessieCat]

On 2/22/2019 at 7:03 AM, Dylanmatthew said:

Hey Ryan. I'm doing better. Some days I still question everything. My main problem that is worrying me is my fatigue. If what I'm experiencing is actually fatigue. I am unsure if something is very wrong with me or it's just depression and lingering WD. 

I have a very floaty feeling when I walk. I feel off. My head feels heavy and cloudy. My energy is verrrry low. Motivation is low. I just feel BAD.

 

Have things worsened since you made the quoted post?

 

Has anything happened since the above post?  For example, have you been sick, external stressors, arguments, relationship breakdown, travel, work pressure/job change?

 

Have you taken any additional prescription or OTC drugs, supplements, illicit drugs?

 

Have you been drinking alcoholic and/or caffeine beverages?

 

Have you been having late nights?

 

Have you been out partying and/or exposing yourself to things which could over stimulate your nervous system?  For example, bright lights, loud music/noise.

[ryan1982]

7 hours ago, Dylanmatthew said:

Hello. I'm hoping someone sees this. It has been awhile since I have been on this website. I have not gotten better. I have just felt miserable but recently it's taking a nose dive. My symptoms have gotten worse as of late. The anxiety has come back. 

 

Im struggling, guys. I am unsure what's wrong. I want death. I am not suicidal I just want the suffering to stop. I will list my symptoms:

Fatigue. This is a huge one. I feel like a corpse. It's hard to walk. When the fatigue is bad I feel this intense feeling of uneasiness I my head and it sometimes turns into a full blown anxiety attack. I struggle to get through the day. Fatigue is my demon. 

Anxiety. 

Anhedonia

Poor sleep

Losing weight slowly 

There is another symptom that is worrying me. This feeling in my head, especially when I walk, feels so weird and causes me panic. It feels like a thick ball is in my head. Like my brain feels funny. No pain. 

Idk guys. 

I've stuck with my 0.5mg liquid Lexapro. 

Dylan, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad.  This is likely the toughest battle you will face and you WILL win.  Don't ever let defeat into your brain.  I'm always here to lend an ear- please message me if you want to talk.  

[eymen23]

Dylan,

 

I’m sorry to hear things have worsened as of late. 

 

When did your symptoms start to get worse? I know from reading of recovery patterns here, that it is quite common to experience a difficult wave at around ten months after completing a taper.

 

Although you didn’t taper using our usual harm reduction guidelines, you did cold turkey from 2.5mg of Lexapro about 10 months ago. Even with the helpful reinstatement dose of 0.5mg, your nervous system appeared to be destabilised for quite some time, so some waves are to be expected. The timing makes it seem like this could be more than just a coincidence.

 

Just in case you want to read more about the ten-month wave phenomenon, I’ve quoted BrassMonkey’s very informative post about it below. 

 

On 5/21/2018 at 8:12 PM, brassmonkey said:

 

 

There is one big exception to this pattern.  This is referred to as the “ten-month wave”, because it typically hits during month ten.  In reality it can hit any time between seven and twelve months, but ten months is the most common.  A contributing factor to this wave pattern is that this is about the time that people are feeling very comfortable with their recovery.  This can cause them to get careless in their actions.  Drinking alcohol is a major factor in excellent recoveries getting derailed, and this is when it frequently happens.  We just had a case of a member who has been drug free for several years with an excellent recovery underway.  They had a couple of drinks over the weekend and tripped off their symptoms all over again.  Luckily it cleared in a few days, but that is not usually the case.

 

The ten-month wave will typically hit very hard and very fast.  Flaring up unexpectedly overnight.  It is common for this wave to be severe for two to five weeks before it ends.  Sometimes it ends as quickly as it started while in other cases it tapers off over several days.  There is frequently a similar but less severe wave that hits again at twelve months and in some cases, another in the eighteen-month range.  The latter two tend to be less severe in each case. Lately I’ve been hearing about another wave that happens about the three-year mark, but I haven’t been able to find out much about it.

 

These waves, particularly the ten-month wave, are important milestones if they occur. 

 

Have you experienced the ‘windows and waves’ pattern since your reinstatement last December? As per Chessie’s post, it would be very helpful to know whether there’s been anything that could have contributed to or triggered this wave. 

 

Hang in there Dylan, I’m positive that you can get through this. 

[PatriciaVP]

Hi Dylan, 

I'm sorry you are suffering right now. Unfortunately, your experience is all too common. You were misled about the safety and efficacy of these medications and then given horrible advice on how to get off them. You were the one left in distress.

The good news is that the brain does heal itself and returns to normal. Many people find themselves far more emotionally healthy after this experience than they were before. 

Your youth and the relatively short time you took the drug are both working in your favor. Every day you are closer to true emotional wellness.

 

Hang in there, Dylan. Know you are not alone. There are literally thousands of us on this journey with you.

Peace, love and healing. 

[Dylanmatthew]

20 hours ago, Kostas said:

Hi Dylan, 

I'm very sorry you're feeling this way! 

If you have been checked by the doctors and there is nothing wrong, then what you are going through, is this damn protracted withdrawal! 

 

As you see here, lots of people are going through this difficult road, and lots of them eventually are improving. 

It's now very important to not give in to the despair, but to be close to people who can understand what you are going through, and give you encouragement. Even talk to people here, to distract!

 

Look to another young guy's here thread Kronos I think, of what similar symptoms going through, and the resilience he is showing. 

 

Good night from the tranquil and beautiful city of Athens Greece 

and take care please 

Kostas 

Hello, Kostas. I feel more stable in this moment and feel I can properly respond to people. I don't believe I have done all I can. I have fears for my health beyond my theory that I am experiencing protracted withdrawal syndrome. I need to get myself to go get every blood test and possibly a CT scan. I could be suffering from so many medical problems and I am not even trying to solve my problems. Maybe this horrible fatigue, anhedonia, and anxiety is from thyroid issues... I don't know. 

 

Okay, I will look at the user "Kronos" and see what I find. It's nice have someone to relate to my suffering and not feel so alone in this. Which I know I am not. Also, I apologize for my comment at the end of my post. I am glad it was removed.

17 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Have things worsened since you made the quoted post?

 

Has anything happened since the above post?  For example, have you been sick, external stressors, arguments, relationship breakdown, travel, work pressure/job change?

 

Have you taken any additional prescription or OTC drugs, supplements, illicit drugs?

 

Have you been drinking alcoholic and/or caffeine beverages?

 

Have you been having late nights?

 

Have you been out partying and/or exposing yourself to things which could over stimulate your nervous system?  For example, bright lights, loud music/noise.

Hello, ChessieCat. It's been awhile. I forgot I had wrote that post. It is how I am currently feeling, again. I had a few months in spring where I didn't feel as anxious or fatigued but it was all still there. I have never had good days since Oct. 2018 where I at least felt...stable. So, it makes me think either my mental health just took a nose dive, my health is compromised with some unknown disease, or it really is because I was messing with my escitalopram and tapered too fast. 

 To answer your questions, no. Nothing has happened. My life has stayed exactly the same. In a bad way.

I had consumed 1 kombucha daily for 2 weeks straight, but haven't had one in 5 days.

I was feeling extra fatigued and anxious last week so I took about 1.5mg of clonazepam within 1 week time frame but that's the only difference. Doesn't seem related. I usually drink an unsweetened bottled ice tea (82mg caffeine) and a small amount of dark chocolate daily. I am unsure if this is bad. No other drugs. Besides the 0.5mg generic lexapro. which I have been mainly consistant. I only have forgotten 3 days to take it since 2018 Dec 7 when I started.

My fitbit says I get about 6.5 -7 hours of sleep on average. Waking up is hell and I am late for work soooo often. Disappointing my boss and losing money.

 

Everyday is on repeat. I am feel more alone and disconnected from people. I still am extremely guilty over things I have done in my past as a kid. I'm a bad person. A broken human. I am 27 and I am emotionally 16. It's pathetic.

 

16 hours ago, ryan1982 said:

Dylan, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad.  This is likely the toughest battle you will face and you WILL win.  Don't ever let defeat into your brain.  I'm always here to lend an ear- please message me if you want to talk.  

I appreciate it, Ryan! I am feeling, in this moment, a bit better. It's Saturday morning and I have nothing planned. Just eating left over chinese food listening to music. 

4 hours ago, eymen23 said:

Dylan,

 

I’m sorry to hear things have worsened as of late. 

 

When did your symptoms start to get worse? I know from reading of recovery patterns here, that it is quite common to experience a difficult wave at around ten months after completing a taper.

 

Although you didn’t taper using our usual harm reduction guidelines, you did cold turkey from 2.5mg of Lexapro about 10 months ago. Even with the helpful reinstatement dose of 0.5mg, your nervous system appeared to be destabilised for quite some time, so some waves are to be expected. The timing makes it seem like this could be more than just a coincidence.

 

Just in case you want to read more about the ten-month wave phenomenon, I’ve quoted BrassMonkey’s very informative post about it below. 

 

 

Have you experienced the ‘windows and waves’ pattern since your reinstatement last December? As per Chessie’s post, it would be very helpful to know whether there’s been anything that could have contributed to or triggered this wave. 

 

Hang in there Dylan, I’m positive that you can get through this. 

Hi, Eymen! The symptom I experience never really have gone away since I started experiencing them in Oct 2018 and got worse until I reinstated lexapro. It's crazy it's been 8 or so months since I have first posted on here, it's unreal. I barely feel improved. I feel absolutely disabled in my life. I know I can do so much better. No one truly believes I am going through drug withdrawal from SSRIs. Everyone advocates them too. I told my pharmacist last night while I was picking up more lexapro that I am trying to ween and how addicting they are. She said they weren't addictive. I didn't argue. 

This 10 month wave is a really interesting read! 

I have experienced windows and waves, yes. Many days I can go for a walk in the woods with my dog, go to work and not feel like a corpse. It's going back to being more days of feeling too fatigued and anxious to go outside and function well. For example, I was out walking my dog on a trail in the woods. On the way back to my car I started looking at my fiitbit. Bpm read 105 while walking, normal. I started feeling anxious, checked bpm, 115. Not normal, I checked every few minutes until it was 140 bpm and I felt like I was going to pass out from this surge of anxiety, feelings of unwellness and pure fatigue. I wasn't really worried about anything in particular except for having a panic attack alone before I could get to the safety of my car. Once I got to my car I feel drained from the adrenaline. But I was safe. 

 

I have to get through this. But I am afraid I will get through it once my 20s are over. I really have missed out on life. I feel lack of human touched has stunted me. 

 

1 hour ago, PatriciaVP said:

Hi Dylan, 

I'm sorry you are suffering right now. Unfortunately, your experience is all too common. You were misled about the safety and efficacy of these medications and then given horrible advice on how to get off them. You were the one left in distress.

The good news is that the brain does heal itself and returns to normal. Many people find themselves far more emotionally healthy after this experience than they were before. 

Your youth and the relatively short time you took the drug are both working in your favor. Every day you are closer to true emotional wellness.

 

Hang in there, Dylan. Know you are not alone. There are literally thousands of us on this journey with you.

Peace, love and healing. 

I am angry about being a victim to the drug companies. I am still getting them all paid because I have to be the pills to keep myself as stable as possible. What I am wondering now is since I have been on this liquid 0.5mg lexapro generic for 8 months, should I lower the dose soon? I am so tempted to just drop the drug completely and go cold turkey. Trust me I know it's a bad idea, I just want it out of me. I have lost part of my soul to this drug. 

Thank you for responding to me, Patricia. I hope you're doing well.

[eymen23]

25 minutes ago, Dylanmatthew said:

I have to get through this. But I am afraid I will get through it once my 20s are over. I really have missed out on life. I feel lack of human touched has stunted me.

 

Dylan,

 

I understood how you feel in this regard, I first had symptoms of anxiety age 20 and have suffered on/off with various emotional symptoms since. I am now 28 and have occasionally questioned whether I have ‘missed out’.

 

The truth is that this common belief or suggestion that the 20s are the golden years, is often nothing much more than a fairy tale. I know so many people who have suffered enormously in their 20s, after all it is the time in which most finish their education and get started in full-time work.

 

This can be a very challenging time for many in their 20s; trying to work out their purpose or passion in life, being bullied or dissatisfied in work, living with little to no money, dealing with toxic relationships etc. 

 

The honest truth is that I have had many difficult times in the last 8 years, some days and weeks that I wouldn’t wish on anybody, but through all of this, I have gained gratitude and a sense of clarity for what matters in life, that simply doesn’t come about from partying, holidaying, or being ‘care-free’. 

 

When you hear people in their middle-age noting how hard or stressful life is, and wishing they can go back to their 20s, all it means is that their hardships came later in life. 

 

You might feel that you are missing out, but I absolutely promise you, that with a healthy attitude, you still have all the time in the world for a life full of purpose, love and happiness. 

[PatriciaVP]

45 minutes ago, Dylanmatthew said:

I am angry about being a victim to the drug companies. I am still getting them all paid because I have to be the pills to keep myself as stable as possible. What I am wondering now is since I have been on this liquid 0.5mg lexapro generic for 8 months, should I lower the dose soon? I am so tempted to just drop the drug completely and go cold turkey. Trust me I know it's a bad idea, I just want it out of me. I have lost part of my soul to this drug. 

Thank you for responding to me, Patricia. I hope you're doing well

I know how you feel. Every 3 months I write my doctor a check to poison me, grit my teeth and tell him everything is fine. But every time I do, I'm a little better,  a little clearer and a little closer to complete healing. I've done it all in spite of him and Big Pharma. That's my victory. This is something only those of us on this path will ever understand. 

 

You don't have to be all the way off the drug to heal and overcome -to return to your true self. It's happening little by little every day.

 

10 months ago you were on 5 mg. Following the 10% method it would have taken over two years to get down to where you are now. You've got plenty of time. You've come so far already. Why not give yourself time to heal and recuperate? Even a year can be so helpful and healing will be happening the whole time. Your soul is already returning. Taking it slow won't make you a victim. It'll make you victorious. 

[eymen23]

2 hours ago, PatriciaVP said:

Taking it slow won't make you a victim. It'll make you victorious. 

 

Very well said. I may have to pinch this from you! 

[ChessieCat]

6 hours ago, Dylanmatthew said:

Just eating left over chinese food

 

Does this contain MSG?  MSG is a flavour enhancer.  It acts on the brain and makes it think that food tastes better/stronger flavoured than it is.

 

I became glutamate intolerate (before I started an antidepressant) from eating Sour Cream and Chive Pringles.  I was hooked on them, which was caused by the MSG.  I got to the stage that I was unable to eat high glutamate foods.  Tomatoes, peas, grapes, mushrooms, hard cheese, spinach, corn, plums/prunes and possibly another few I can't remember right now.

 

Many ready made savoury foods, eg soups, snacks, etc, contain either MSG (621) or another flavour enhancers.

 

This article lists all of the numbers to avoid:  6-reasons-to-avoid-flavour-enhancers

 

I would be avoid flavour enhancers as much as possible, especially MSG.  The other thing to avoid is artificially sweetening.

[Altostrata]

Dylan, are you taking 0.5mg Lexapro every day at the same time? Are you making your own liquid or using the prescription liquid? How old is your liquid?

 

What time of day do you take Lexapro? Do you feel better or worse after you take it?

[Dylanmatthew]

14 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Dylan, are you taking 0.5mg Lexapro every day at the same time? Are you making your own liquid or using the prescription liquid? How old is your liquid?

 

What time of day do you take Lexapro? Do you feel better or worse after you take it?

Hey, Altro. I take the 0.5mg the same time every day, except on weekends I sleep in later. I make my own liquid. I use a clear glass container that measures past 100ml, doesn't have a lid and a syringe. I keep it in the fridge and never use it past the 3 day mark. 

 

I take the lexapro soon after being awake. I never have thought about if I have felt better or worse after taking it... I have taken it 2 hours ago today. I think I feel much worse in the mornings than I do in later afternoon and evenings. The fatigue and horrible heavy weird head feelings are much more prevalent in the morning hours. 

[Dylanmatthew]

19 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Does this contain MSG?  MSG is a flavour enhancer.  It acts on the brain and makes it think that food tastes better/stronger flavoured than it is.

 

I became glutamate intolerate (before I started an antidepressant) from eating Sour Cream and Chive Pringles.  I was hooked on them, which was caused by the MSG.  I got to the stage that I was unable to eat high glutamate foods.  Tomatoes, peas, grapes, mushrooms, hard cheese, spinach, corn, plums/prunes and possibly another few I can't remember right now.

 

Many ready made savoury foods, eg soups, snacks, etc, contain either MSG (621) or another flavour enhancers.

 

This article lists all of the numbers to avoid:  6-reasons-to-avoid-flavour-enhancers

 

I would be avoid flavour enhancers as much as possible, especially MSG.  The other thing to avoid is artificially sweetening.

I am going to look into avoiding the enhancers. It sounds very hard to do. I will try because I want to feel human. I read the symptoms flavor enhancers can cause from the link you gave me. Many are mine. I eat a small bag of chips daily. I usually consume processed meat a few times a week. I eat 3 eggs a day but that should be fine. I really do just love eating chips. I have flamin' hot cheetos and tortilla chips with salsa in my pantry right now. 

[Dylanmatthew]

On 7/27/2019 at 10:54 AM, eymen23 said:

 

Dylan,

 

I understood how you feel in this regard, I first had symptoms of anxiety age 20 and have suffered on/off with various emotional symptoms since. I am now 28 and have occasionally questioned whether I have ‘missed out’.

 

The truth is that this common belief or suggestion that the 20s are the golden years, is often nothing much more than a fairy tale. I know so many people who have suffered enormously in their 20s, after all it is the time in which most finish their education and get started in full-time work.

 

This can be a very challenging time for many in their 20s; trying to work out their purpose or passion in life, being bullied or dissatisfied in work, living with little to no money, dealing with toxic relationships etc. 

 

The honest truth is that I have had many difficult times in the last 8 years, some days and weeks that I wouldn’t wish on anybody, but through all of this, I have gained gratitude and a sense of clarity for what matters in life, that simply doesn’t come about from partying, holidaying, or being ‘care-free’. 

 

When you hear people in their middle-age noting how hard or stressful life is, and wishing they can go back to their 20s, all it means is that their hardships came later in life. 

 

You might feel that you are missing out, but I absolutely promise you, that with a healthy attitude, you still have all the time in the world for a life full of purpose, love and happiness. 

Thank you for posting this. Everything you said was very helpful and insightful. I know I haven't experienced what I should have experienced in my 20s that would have helped me grow as a person. I am stunted in my emotional growth and it shows. If I felt better physically and mentally I feel I could do so much but I am being held back. It's torture. I am torturing myself. I have past regrets in my childhood as well. I am a bad person.

[Altostrata]

3 minutes ago, Dylanmatthew said:

The fatigue and horrible heavy weird head feelings are much more prevalent in the morning hours. 

 

Do you have these symptoms before you take Lexapro? Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms. You can post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, with a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right.

 

You're taking such a small amount, it could be that variations of an hour here and there in your dosing schedule might cause symptoms. You may want to move your Lexapro dose gradually by an hour each day to noon, when you can take it reliably on a regular schedule.

 

 

[Dylanmatthew]

On 7/27/2019 at 12:07 PM, PatriciaVP said:

I know how you feel. Every 3 months I write my doctor a check to poison me, grit my teeth and tell him everything is fine. But every time I do, I'm a little better,  a little clearer and a little closer to complete healing. I've done it all in spite of him and Big Pharma. That's my victory. This is something only those of us on this path will ever understand. 

 

You don't have to be all the way off the drug to heal and overcome -to return to your true self. It's happening little by little every day.

 

10 months ago you were on 5 mg. Following the 10% method it would have taken over two years to get down to where you are now. You've got plenty of time. You've come so far already. Why not give yourself time to heal and recuperate? Even a year can be so helpful and healing will be happening the whole time. Your soul is already returning. Taking it slow won't make you a victim. It'll make you victorious. 

Giving them money really is the worst isn't it. 

 

I am unsure if I am healing or suffering from something completely unrelated to lexapro. It's driving me insane. I am not a sane person. I am not well. I don't feel as if I am getting better. I still find myself in disbelief over all of this. That this drug I started in 2013 has robbed me of so much in life...

I will take is slow as you say. 

[Dylanmatthew]

1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

 

Do you have these symptoms before you take Lexapro? Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms. You can post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, with a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right.

 

You're taking such a small amount, it could be that variations of an hour here and there in your dosing schedule might cause symptoms. You may want to move your Lexapro dose gradually by an hour each day to noon, when you can take it reliably on a regular schedule.

 

 

I am going to start taking notes of my schedule like I should've been doing all along. I am having a hard time making a connection to a certain pattern here. I have forgotten to take the drug last week one day and I don't believe I felt any different. The usual suffering. 

I was so much worse in Nov. SO MUCH WORSE. I was in a hell of sorts. So many symptoms I have never had before all at once. It scares me to look back on them, I am better than before. But not by much. I don't want to go to work. I want to drop out of society and rot in a room because it's the path of least resistance. 

I am taking your advice, Alto.

[Altostrata]

Please post those daily notes here, so we can see what's going on. It could be that a little more Lexapro would help you stabilize.

[Dylanmatthew]

3 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Please post those daily notes here, so we can see what's going on. It could be that a little more Lexapro would help you stabilize.

Even after being on 0.5mg for 8 months? Okay, I will do just that. 

Also, is using a clear glass container without a lid possibly causes issues?

And how much more would you suggest?

[Altostrata]

2 minutes ago, Dylanmatthew said:

Also, is using a clear glass container without a lid possibly causes issues?

 

The homemade liquid can be degraded by exposure to light and heat. There might be some evaporation from an open container. A dark amber or green container with a lid is preferable.

 

Please post your daily notes. If an increase is indicated, it might be 0.5mg to 1mg total.

[Dylanmatthew]

Just now, Altostrata said:

 

The homemade liquid can be degraded by exposure to light and heat. There might be some evaporation from an open container. A dark amber or green container with a lid is preferable.

 

Please post your daily notes. If an increase is indicated, it might be 0.5mg to 1mg total.

Okay, I will post daily notes. So, you or someone else might tell me by looking at my notes that I may need to updose by another 0.5mg? Thank you for helping me out, Alto.

[Dylanmatthew]

I'm very overwhelmed with choosing an omega 3 product. I wish someone will just tell me what to buy...