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Dylanmatthew

Dylanmatthew: Lexapro withdrawal. I'm going through a very tough time and I'm very afraid

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Leo1983

Read my story.

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TreeElf

Hey Dylanmatthew, it sucks to see another person going through this, it truly is awful...but it DOES get better. You won't believe that now, or maybe in a week or a month's time, but you must hang in there. Because it really does improve, just super slowly. And it's a 2 steps forward three steps back kind of recovery a lot of the time. Listen to the mods on this site, they really do know their stuff. There's lots of people going through this right along with you, you aren't alone. Best thing you can do is accept it's going to be a long journey, find that courage and strength deep inside you, and surrender as much as you can with patience. Wishing you all the best in your healing x

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Dylanmatthew
6 hours ago, jozeff said:

Dylan,

 

You are very active right now and looking for answers here. That's a good thing because it is your body and it is your struggle. You deserve some good advice.

 

Let me tell you a few things.

 

Being a chemist for 17 years let me tell you that:

- tap water is just fine

- the cloudy, milky appearance of your dissolved pill solution is caused by filling substances, stabilizers and pigments that do not dissolve well. These are necessary to create a pill with a certain appearance and size. This is perfectly normal! Just swirl the solution a bit before sucking it in the syringe.

 

 

As a 42 y old male and ad user for 20 years let me tell you that:

 

Your despair is perfectly normal. You are looking for answers now and 1 hour feels like a day when you feel this bad. I have been in big misery myself and you just want to take action to feel better no matter what.

 

The doctors tend to send you home with a prescription, at least that is my experience. You go to them in a crisis situation and they have 10 or 15 minutes to "help" you. I think they use a prescription as a sort of disclaimer. It a patient does something terrible they can at least tell everybody that they helped you by giving a prescription. Believe me, I've been to several doctors in great anxiety and despair and I always walked out the door with a higher dose of my current med or a completely new one. Or some benzos to complete the package......

 

They are not trained well to help you in the long term.....how you ever will get off this stuff etc.

 

Do basically they have 15 minutes to help you! What people here in your topic wrote took several hours already and these people have a lot of experience.

 

My doctor said never to believe the Internet because it is completely uncontrollable. That may be true for a great part but it depends where you look.

 

The best thing you can do right now I think is the accept and float technique some people mentioned here. Just accept that you are having these symptoms and try not to hard to fight them because that might things worse.

 

Please do not start taking other antidepressants! This might be tempting because you want to do something. 

 

I wish you good luck and stay strong.

 

Don't believe your brain! You are not going to die or become crazy. This is your brain fooling you.

 

Take it day by day or hour by hour! This is much more manageable then thinking about next week!!

 

 

Cheers!

 

Jozeff

 

 

Jozeff, 

Thank you for all this insight and information. I have been sitting at home basically researching and ruminating over my life situation and my WD Symptoms. Life has felt very pointless during all of this. I have let my WD symptoms and anxiety I feel during this keep me from life. I haven't been anywhere. I feel housebound. 

 

I have work tomorrow. I have to go face the real world and suck it up. I don't see it turning out well. I am not better, yet. Praying to God that the dilution works. I did the 100ml glass container with 5mg Lexapro tablet and extracted 10ml from the middle after mixing and I keep it in the fridge like I was told. 

 

I am very thankful I have you guys to help me. Maybe today I can clean my home and shower... 

 

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Dylanmatthew

I just wanted to add that for the last 14 months I have occasionally used 1mg of clonazepam to treat a terrible panic attack or insomnia. 

It's been 1 week since my last dose. I doubt I'm addicted 

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Leo1983

You will be asked to provide a history of your clonazepam use. 

 

Dose and how often. 

 

It may be worth thinking that over. 

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Dylanmatthew

Ira very broken up. I got some last Oct because I couldn't sleep and my anxiety was awful. I used it so randomly. Usually never more than 2mg per month. Some months I didn't use any at all, especially during summer. 

The last 3 weeks have been hell and within that time I used 4mg spread out within 3 weeks. It barely made me feel better. It's been 1 week since my last dose. I've never craved it before. 

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Dylanmatthew

What if I'm WD from benzos and I could die 

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Dylanmatthew

New symptom I started experiencing last night. I was at my parents and it felt like there was a fullness in my throat and chest. Kinda like it's hard to breathe but I actually could breathe fine. 

Im feeling it again now 

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eymen23
Just now, Dylanmatthew said:

New symptom I started experiencing last night. I was at my parents and it felt like there was a fullness in my throat and chest. Kinda like it's hard to breathe but I actually could breathe fine. 

Im feeling it again now 

 

Hi Dylan.

 

Sounds like hypervigilance of body sensations which is one of many common anxiety symptoms, and one I get fairly often. 

 

When it arises, try mentally noting ‘anxiety’ and if you can, gently move your attention to something else, a tv programme, an activity, anything to help you avoid feeding the fire of anxiety. 

 

 

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Dylanmatthew
1 minute ago, eymen23 said:

 

Hi Dylan.

 

Sounds like hypervigilance of body sensations which is one of many common anxiety symptoms, and one I get fairly often. 

 

When it arises, try mentally noting ‘anxiety’ and if you can, gently move your attention to something else, a tv programme, an activity, anything to help you avoid feeding the fire of anxiety. 

 

 

I hope it is nothing. I'm afraid my throat is going to close up and kill me. I'm not having a panic attack yet but I don't understand why my throat have a full tense feeling right underneath the Adam's apple! I'm trying to distract myself but I'm terrible at distractions 

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eymen23
Just now, Dylanmatthew said:

I hope it is nothing. I'm afraid my throat is going to close up and kill me. I'm not having a panic attack yet but I don't understand why my throat have a full tense feeling right underneath the Adam's apple! I'm trying to distract myself but I'm terrible at distractions 

 

Hi Dylan,

 

I know exactly what the sensation is that you describe. I often have feelings of my throat being tight or closing, and also of my breathing not feeling right. When we have anxiety, the fear will often attach itself to certain bodily sensations, certain thoughts, or certain items in our external environment (such as a sound or colour). 

 

By distracting yourself, you will slowly dampen down some of the anxiety, as you will stop adding ‘fuel to the fire’ as it were. 

 

I’m making this sound so simple, but I know how hard this is and I can empathise with the suffering you’re experiencing.

 

 

 

 

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Dylanmatthew

I think my problem is trying to convince myself it's anxiety and not a physical problem that is going to kill me. 

I was at my parents the last 2 times it happened and it's a little noisy and hectic there. But I like it there. I returned home and I'm sitting here alone suffering. 

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eymen23
3 minutes ago, Dylanmatthew said:

I think my problem is trying to convince myself it's anxiety and not a physical problem that is going to kill me. 

I was at my parents the last 2 times it happened and it's a little noisy and hectic there. But I like it there. I returned home and I'm sitting here alone suffering. 

 

Humans are social beings, and we often feel better when surrounded by the ones we care about. It helps us to get out of our own mind and symptoms and get into a sense of being part of something greater. 

 

That is a problem for almost everybody with health orientated anxiety (fear of heart attacks, stopping breathing etc.). Please do not try to convince yourself that it is just anxiety if possible. Try to find activities that get your mind away from thinking about the issue as much as possible. When anxiety is severe, it’s almost impossible to calm oneself down using thoughts, distraction becomes a much better tool. Have you ever tried meditation Dylan? How about breathing exercises? 

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Dylanmatthew

The sensation has gone away after I went home. I'm terribly afraid I'm becoming agoraphobic. I have never been this bad. I feel bad mentally and physically. My family is going off to a play and I'm home alone by my choosing. I feel so alone. 

 

I HAVE to work tomorrow. I don't know if I'm strong enough to drive on the highway and work all day and drive back home. If there was a button that would make me not exist I'd press it. 

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ChessieCat

Not many people understand about withdrawal from psychiatric drugs.  Even the majority of doctors don't know about or understand it, so it's to be expected that "regular" people who haven't experienced it are not going to understand.  That is what is good about being a member of SA, the other members have experiencing similar things and they do understand.

 

I've had two very different experiencing with reducing two different antidepressants.  I've already told you about my Pristiq experience and not being able to type.  This is the other one:

 

My first experience was after I stopped taking citalopram cold turkey.  I didn't get withdrawal symptoms straight away.  I felt really great for 2-3 months and then got hit with what, at the time, I thought was the flu, although it wasn't typical flu.  I now know, from what I have learned here, that it was withdrawal, and what some call withdrawal flu.  I was bedridden for 2.5 weeks and couldn't eat and lost 8kgs in that time.

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Dylanmatthew

Cherrie. Your 2nd story is so similar to mine. I don't want to be bedridden... Please God don't let this get worse. 

Im sorry you've suffered. How did you feel better??? 

Today I'm very anxious... I don't feel flu like as I did yesterday. Just on edge, anxious, tense. I'm trying to calm down... 

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jozeff

Hi Dylan!

 

Your throat is fine, trust me. Panic can do some tricky stuff to you.

 

Last year I literally thought I was going to die and they had to check my heart in the hospital. I walked out calm and extremely relaxed, just because it took my mind of my personal feelings. 

 

Anxiety causes you to completely go internal with your mind. You don't observe your environment clearly and you are focussed only on your body....heart beat, blood flow, breathing....all these things that autonomous nervous system handles become very "visible" suddenly.

 

Try to ignore if you can!

 

Physically you are probably very fine!

 

Good luck tomorrow. Let us know how it went

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

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Leo1983

Take a look on youtube

 

Its called the lovely grind. Michael Priebe. 

 

Watch all his videos. Hes been were you are now. 

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Dylanmatthew

My body tremors are bad even though my BPM is low 

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Dylanmatthew

I hope me going back on low dose Lexapro isn't causing my anxiety. But it probably isn't. 

 

I've been feeling on edge half the day. Tremors have gone down. I just can't figure out why I'm so anxious today. It might be because I gotta work tomorrow. Today has been weird. I haven't felt sick or had a weird head feelings or fatigue. It's been just on edge feelings and anxiety most of the day. It's almost 5pm.

 

Thank you guys for being here for me

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Gridley

Going to work tomorrow is a very probable culprit in causing your anxiety.  I have much less anxiety the days I just stay home and don't go down to the village.

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Dylanmatthew

You're right. It's work. 4 hours until bed. I'm still happy I didn't feel immense fatifue and flu like symptoms. Still was fatigued and depressed today. 

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ChessieCat
3 hours ago, Dylanmatthew said:

Cherrie. Your 2nd story is so similar to mine. I don't want to be bedridden... Please God don't let this get worse. 

Im sorry you've suffered. How did you feel better??? 

 

I went back to the doctor because I didn't know that I was getting withdrawal symptoms and thought I was suffering from depression.  I had been an an SSRI and Pristiq is an SNRI and the Pristiq worked to get rid of my withdrawal symptoms.

 

From what you have posted it sounds like you are improving a little bit and that means that the reinstatement is starting to work.

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Dylanmatthew

I'm not so sure if it's working. I've been excessively anxious and on edge today. Had 1 panic attack so far. It's 7pm and I feel on edge. 

Im tempted to take a 0.5mg clonazepam to try to soothe me. 

 

Is it normal to be anxious and on edge all day. 

 

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Dylanmatthew

Also all my symptoms today were really light, cherrie. I didn't feel ill. If I didn't have anxiety I would feel like my normal self...almost 

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Dylanmatthew

Also I wonder if it's the Lexapro or my body is done withdrawing. Ha doubt the latter

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ChessieCat

As Gridley (I think it was) has already said your anxiety is probably because you are worried about going back to work.

 

You have already been given the information about getting through the next few days whilst the reinstatement takes effect.  Please read back through the responses you have already received.

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Dylanmatthew

I understand, sorry if I'm being annoying. I've read it all. I just like talking to you guys about what's going on. My anxiety is fine now. 

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jozeff

Good luck Dylan,

 

You can do it!!

 

You will calm down once you're at work.

 

 

Cheers

Jozeff

 

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Dylanmatthew

Thank you jozeff. I hope this reinstatement is a good thing I'm doing. 

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Dylanmatthew

I mean my symptoms seem to be doing better. So glad I found this place. 

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Dylanmatthew

My testicles have also been aching the last 6 months off and on randomly. Dr. checked me out a month ago and said they felt normal but I should do an ultrasound... Been too afraid. lol. Could that be a WD symptom though

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Leo1983

Yes it can be. The drugs affect that area no end. 

 

However not everything is withdrawal. Best to get them checked. 

 

A scan will more than likely show nothing im sure.

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Dylanmatthew

That is a good idea, Leo. I am going to schedule an ultrasound. Also, after 2 weeks of misery which I now realize was WD symptoms, I am back at work! So far so good. I am on edge at times. I hope I can drive home ok without a panic.

I believe the reason I am feeling better is either I have a "window" or I am restabilizing after consuming 3 doses of 0.5mg escitalopram  the past 3 days. Not sure. I feel bad for going back to the drug but I need to function in life.

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jozeff

Good to hear Dylan!

 

So work wasn't too bad! I told you, once you are there things settle down.

 

About your testicles..... I had this also for years. I even had them swollen and a few times inflammation and had antibiotics.

 

After years of struggling I decided to ditch my underwear. Guess what, never had this problem again. Could be to high a temperature or just too tight.

 

Anyway, let me know what you decide.

I can recommend not wearing underwear to any man that has ******** problems. Especially when you have to sit a lot and the elastic bands and fabric tends to squeeze your balls.....

 

 

Good luck!!

 

Jozeff

 

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Dylanmatthew

Hey, Jozeff. I am still at work. I feel slightly anxious and my head has that achey pressure but isn't as bad as it's been. So far so good. I am just worried about the drive home (25min). I plan on calling my dad since I have bluetooth and talking to him for distraction. 

Yes, I think my boxer briefs might be too tight! HA! I will try something more...comfortable. 

 

2 hours left of the work day...

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