Aquarius

[Aquarius]

I know this process is not linear but when i first ct d in july 16 i felt good for 6 months then started to feel bad hence doctors putting me back on the first four weeks or so were bad then it was good and bad then about 9 to 10 months it was really bad until about 12 months i came off these again too quickly in april but so far the timeline has been the same its as if im reliving last year so i am so looking forward to 12 months again haha 🤔🤔

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, Aquarius said:

know this process is not linear but when i first ct d in july 16 i felt good for 6 months then started to feel bad

 

I had taken citalopram for about 20 years.  I had a breakdown at my daughter's wedding reception (I had several major life stressors happening over a short period of time plus the drug had reached tolerance?)  I cold turkeyed it and felt fantastic for several months.  Better than I had felt in a long time.  Then BAM!  I was bedridden for 2.5 weeks with what at the time I thought was the flu with aches and pains but it wasn't typical flu.  I also lost 8 kgs because I couldn't eat.  After learning about WD from SA I now believe it was delayed withdrawal.  I ended up taking Pristiq (psychologist: you need an AD like diabetics need insulin - yeah right 😠).

 

I had a completely different experience with Pristiq.  I reduced by 1/2 from 100mg to 50mg and for the next 2 weeks I suffered extreme cog fog where even walking took all my concentration.  I joined SA and they suggested updosing.  I did this and about 4 hours later the cog fog was lifting.

 

Going off and on and off etc has a cumulative effect on the nervous system.  What you could get away with once or twice may end up differently another time.

[Aquarius]

So true..sorry you have suffered so much...yes i suppose no one knows what is in store for us and looking back and making a comparison is a recipe for disappointment ...i am so guilty of this and seeking reassurance and it has got me nowhere 😊 exvept wasting my energy and robbing me of the present i have a friend who practises bhudism ...as i go through this journey i am reevaluating my life and realising that living in the past and neing scared of the future truly robs you if the presemt which after all is a gift ...no matter how bad i feel in withdrawal i am trying to be in the moment with no thought of time and allow myself to just be how i am with no judgement ....let you know how i get on 😁

[ChessieCat]

This is a helpful topic:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

[Aquarius]

Thank you 

[Aquarius]

Needadvice asap going to doctor's soon after 9 months ct took diazepam this morning 2mg and thinking of reinstating sertraline?? Need help

[Aquarius]

@ChessieCat

[ChessieCat]

What are you needing help with?

[Aquarius]

Im desparate and going to the doctors dont want to end up going in circles with these tablets do you think a small reinstatement would help the diazepam didnt calm me ive had ups and downs but the last few weeks have been tough 

[ChessieCat]

If you go to the doctor complaining about how you are feeling he will most probably whip out the prescription pad, or these days type into the computer and print one out.  He may advise you to go back on sertraline but it would probably be at a much higher dose than we would suggest and/or prescribe another drug, which may also be too high a dose.  Once we experience withdrawal symptoms we need to be very careful that we don't take too high a dose of anything.

 

You have felopidine 5mg Oct in your drug signature.  Was that 2018?  Did you start to feel worse after you started taking that?

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Nobody can say if reinstatement will work or not.  If you do decide that you want to try it, then I suggest that you start with a very small dose as a tester just to see how you react.  If it was me I'd probably try 0.25mg or 0.5mg.  You might find that the symptoms ease a bit, but if after a short time you don't get worse and the symptoms don't improve then you could increase by a bit more.  It is better to start with a small amount and increase it by small amounts than to risk taking too much.

 

It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.  You will need to keep daily symptoms notes so that you can see how reinstatement is affecting your symptoms.

 

You will need to be patient and try and stay calm.  When we panic we can make bad decisions.  Some members have panicked and ended up taking too high a dose and/or increasing too soon.

 

All we can do is provide the information and offer suggestions.  Only you can make the decision about whether to reinstate and at what dose.

 

The other option, because you have been off sertraline for so long is to try a small amount of Prozac.  Alto usually suggests about 1mg.  Some people do bridge / switch to taper.   However, it may or may not work.  I have previously used Prozac and had very bad side effects from it.  If I was unaware of this and switched to Prozac I wouldn't know if I was getting withdrawal from my current drug or start up/side effects/adverse reaction to Prozac.  Just another thing to take into consideration.

[Carmie]

Hi Aquarius, 

 

Just popping in to see how you’re doing?💚

[Aquarius]

Hi Carmie 

It depends on what day you ask ...i have been having good days followed by extremely bad ..yesterday i awoke calm after 8 hours solid sleep and felt better than ever the whole day went to bed fine unfortunately did not sleep as well as the night before ..woke very restless and have been like it for most of day with total despair this is how its going one good one bad i feel like two different people the inner restlessness and shaking is driving me mad feel like im losing it then i get a good nights sleep and wake up like its never hapoened ...hope your ok

[Aquarius]

@Carmie

[Aquarius]

@ChessieCat

Yes it was 2018 it did make me worse so i lowered it back to 2.5mg as suggested ...i used to have bad mornings and good rest of day but now its relentless though i seem to be going good day bad day but the bad days are bad and all day ..inner restlessness shaking panic tight chest crying for it all to disappear the nextday ...coming up to 10 months off ...have taken propranalol for 3 days a few days ago as anxiety was so bad it helped initially then made me feel worse so i stopped it feel like im damned if i do and damned if i dont my stomach is all messed up as well 

[Carmie]

7 hours ago, Aquarius said:

Hi Carmie 

It depends on what day you ask ...i have been having good days followed by extremely bad ..yesterday i awoke calm after 8 hours solid sleep and felt better than ever the whole day went to bed fine unfortunately did not sleep as well as the night before ..woke very restless and have been like it for most of day with total despair this is how its going one good one bad i feel like two different people the inner restlessness and shaking is driving me mad feel like im losing it then i get a good nights sleep and wake up like its never hapoened ...hope your ok

 

Hi Aquarius, 

 

That certainly sounds like the journey of windows and waves, up down, up down.🎢🎢🎢 It’s a good sign, though, as it shows your body is healing. It’s weird though how we can be so different from one day to the next, sometimes even in the same day. 

 

Could you please put in your signature that you’re down to 2.5mg of felopodine now, thank you. Someone I know accidentally doubled up on their high blood pressure medication and had to come home early from work as they were feeling so faint. 

 

You’re definitely healing as you’re getting lots of windows. Being ten months off the meds isn’t a long time as such, you will get there eventually. I won’t be jumping off my meds until I’m down to 0.0something. 

 

Take care and enjoy those windows that you’re getting. When you’re going through waves make sure to distract yourself, and remember more windows are coming. Sending hugs🤗

 

[Aquarius]

Thanks @Carmie

Spoke too soon today should have been a good day but literally did not sleep at all last night which isnt like me ..needless to say im a right mess now..crying tight chest upset stomach shaking there's been no let up from yesterday had to take a propranalol..am thinking of going backon tablets ive fought this long enough even my husband is giving up 

[eymen23]

Hi Aquarius,

 

You have come so far, I think you should try to hang in there if you can. Going back on tablets sounds like it’s unlikely to help matters this far out, especially if you take a dose prescribed by a doctor. 

 

If you do try to reinstate, please follow the guidance here and discuss it with one of the mods first. 

 

Hoping you can make it through without a prescription and get some relief soon. 

[Cynthia]

Hello all,

Joined SA the 1st week of this month. Dr had me drop from 10 mg Escitalopram to 5mg over 5 days then stop.

 

Couldn’t handle withdrawal (rushing noise in head, hearing eyes move in head, painful shocks L side of head - “brain zaps”. Hot flushes, heart puounding & severe diarrhea.). Went back up to 5 mg on day 4. Symtoms diminished & intermittent but not gone.

 

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday - came prepared with daily diary, list of my symptoms & extracts from publications validating withdrawal symptoms- a copy for her & one for myself & I told her ‘let’s read through [diary] together”. Held her attention for maybe 2 minutes. She said she had never heard this from any of her other patients going off. Escitalopram.  

 

I didn’t challenge her, said I hadn’t expected it either. By this time her copy of my well organized printouts had been tossed on a chair. 

 

I really had no expectations- but made sure to reiterate how I was feeling & what I’d gone thru after dropping & resuming at a lower dose. I am still suffering from diarrhea. SSRI’s now thought to be link contributing to microcellular colitis which I have + IBSD. Whis is why I was stepped quickly off Zoloft (Sertraline)  after 25 years & up on Escitalopram. She referred to escitalopram as a fairly innocuous drug!  Surprise. ...

 

We agreed I’d stay on 5mg to see if I can stabilize. 

 

I talked to her about a slow taper, possibly a liquid compound. She agreed ‘Then if you want,” she said, “we can cut it in half to 2.5mg”.  !!!

 

She didn’t get it. I told her no, (I may have yelped at this point) I’m talking slow - as suggested on this site- 10% at a time over a period of months. 

 

Our 10 minutes were up. I left feeling that I’m on my own & that I’d have to be my own advocate. 

 

Terrible diarrhea last night - from drug? From withdrawal? From stress? All of the above. 

 

Thank heavens for SA - otherwise I’d be scares shitless (I wish!).  

 

Great compassion for everyone here. So sorry we’ve had to suffer from ignorance of Med Community & denial of drug companies. 

 

Bless you all. 

 

 

Edited January 16, 2019 by ChessieCat
space

[Carmie]

13 hours ago, Aquarius said:

Thanks @Carmie

Spoke too soon today should have been a good day but literally did not sleep at all last night which isnt like me ..needless to say im a right mess now..crying tight chest upset stomach shaking there's been no let up from yesterday had to take a propranalol..am thinking of going backon tablets ive fought this long enough even my husband is giving up 

 

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time Aquarius, 

 

Reinstating a little bit of your medication now might not work because you’ve been off it such a long time. Off course, you’re the only one who can decide whether to do this or not. If you do decide to do this please read the information on reinstatement. ChessieCat will send you a link, I’m not computer savvy. I’m really sorry you’re in this predicament, sending hugs🤗

 

[ChessieCat]

If you do decide to resinstate, suggest that you try a really small dose, perhaps 0.25mg or 0.5mg.  Please read Post #1 of this topic.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

It is better to start with a small amount and increase if necessary than to risk taking too much.  It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.  You will need to patient and stay as calm as possible and try not to panic.  When we panic we can make bad decisions.  Some members have panicked and taken too much and/or increased too soon and ended up making things worse.

 

Please keep daily symptom notes on paper to see how reinstatement is affecting your symptoms.

 

Here's some additional information which might help you to understand what is happening:

 

Recovery isn't linear it happens in a Windows and Waves Pattern

 

Withdrawal Normal Description

 

When we take a psychiatric drug, we are adding chemical/s to the brain.  The brain then has to change to adapt to getting the chemical/s.  It might have to change something to do with A and then once that change has been made it affects B so another change has to be made and so on down the line.  It is a chain reaction, a domino effect.

 

The same thing happens when we take the drug away.  That's why it's possible to experience such a vast array of withdrawal symptoms, and they can change, and be of different intensity.  These explain it really well:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

On 8/31/2011 at 5:28 AM, Rhiannon said:

When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

 

AND

 

On 12/4/2015 at 2:41 AM, apace41 said:

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.  

 

[ChessieCat]

We strongly encourage members to learn and use non drug coping techniques to help get through tough times.

 

Understanding what is happening helps us to not get caught up with the second fear, or fear of the fear.  This happens when we experience sensations in our body and because we don't understand them we are scared of them and then start to panic.

 

This document has a diagram of the body explaining what happens in the body when we become anxious:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/AnxietySelfHelp.pdf

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

Audio FEMALE VOICE:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

Audio MALE VOICE:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

dealing-with-emotional-spirals

 

Dr Claire Weekes suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways of coping.  There are videos available on YouTube.

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

 

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

 

On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Aquarius, 

 

How have you been doing?💚

[Martina23]

Hi, I am also aquarius, I like it the most from the whole zodiac.

[Aquarius]

Bit of an update and maybe advice as well....couldn't cope much longer so yes went to docs and he prescribed 15mg of Mirtazapine and 40mg propranalol...well ashamed to say i took the Mirtazapine started 16th January and i must say it has helped with sleeping and making me more stable until yesterday had a stressful day and had a filling needed injection...absolutely fine yesterday coped with all the stress..woke today with severe crying spells and shaking most of day ..is it the Mirtazapine its been 3 weeks or maybe the injection at dentist ...also once i stabilise on Mirtazapine i will ask for guidance coming off..should i do it sooner or later ....sorry i know i shouldn't have done it at all but i was desparate as i am now ...

[Aquarius]

Just had a chat with my husband and he is with me if i want to taoer off Mirtazapine ive been on 15mg for 3 weeks it hasnt all been plain sailing but it definitely helped at a difficult time ...should i completely stabilise on it or can i start tapering i never really wanted to go on it but these things happen...if a mod could give me some advice i would be grateful...

[RachelSusan]

Hi Aquarius,

I was just reading your posts and it looks you got some really great moderators advising you. I am sure they will answer your question about tapering the Mirtzapine when they have time.  My suggestion is to sit tight and don't beat yourself up.

 

I am confused, are you still on 12.5 mg of Zoloft, or is your signature old?  I too am a Zoloft survivor so I watch you with interest and wish you well.

 

Rachel

[Aquarius]

Thank you for your reply ..i do need to update signature but it needs to be done on a shared device .....i have been off sertraline since april 2018 after a very fast taper then nothing until the Mirtazapine hence the need for sonething after a near cold turkey ...my withdrawal was going fine for 6 months then it hit me ...comparing myself to others i had been lucky with a near cold turkey as i have always been functional and never had to stay in bed ...the emotional side is hard for me the thoughts of this never ending ...

[Altostrata]

6 hours ago, Aquarius said:

Bit of an update and maybe advice as well....couldn't cope much longer so yes went to docs and he prescribed 15mg of Mirtazapine and 40mg propranalol...well ashamed to say i took the Mirtazapine started 16th January and i must say it has helped with sleeping and making me more stable until yesterday had a stressful day and had a filling needed injection...absolutely fine yesterday coped with all the stress..woke today with severe crying spells and shaking most of day ..is it the Mirtazapine its been 3 weeks or maybe the injection at dentist ...also once i stabilise on Mirtazapine i will ask for guidance coming off..should i do it sooner or later ....sorry i know i shouldn't have done it at all but i was desparate as i am now ...

 

Most likely the injection knocked your system off balance.

 

If mirtazapine helps you sleep, why do you want to taper it now? Do you have side effects?

 

Sleep is good, it helps your nervous system heal from withdrawal.

[Aquarius]

The Mirtazapine has helped with sleeping and appetite....i suppose its because i had gone 9 months with nothing from Sertraline and feel i should if carried on ...its just that usual feeling that you don't really want to be on anything ..i still feel extremely emotional and have anxiety upon waking and still get shakes and cry and obsessional thoughts...

[Aquarius]

Not able to use shared device at moment and cant remember password ...but my signature should read 2.5mg felopidine since November 2018 then Mirtazapine 15mg Jan 2019 and 75mg Magnesium and 1100mg omega 3 Jan 2019 .....

[RachelSusan]

Aquarius,

Thanks for the info. Now it make sense why you would be taking the Mirtazapine.  Since I too am on Zoloft I follow what others who are, or were on Zoloft do. Zoloft is a tough one. I am so glad that Mirtazapine is helping, even if it's a only a little help.  Any relief is a good thing. I hope you can hang in there and get stable for a good long while before you even think about doing anything. Good luck my friend.

RS

[Aquarius]

I understand about stabilising before tapering but i worry about being on it too long and making things tougher to come off ....thank you for your kind words ..because the Mirtazapine was such a high dose and the advice on here was start small i thougjt i was doomed but straight away the Mirt helped with my sleep and appetite yes i still get days when i have anxiety tears and other symptons but sometimes thar can be me working myself up overall im functioning about 75 to 80 % ...though the way my mind works i may have been like this anyway ...the thing us i have done things wrong by introducing things together as when i first started Mirt it was fantastic then i started to dip slightly then introduced mag and omega 3 and have picked up again ..so have made the mistake of not knowing whats doing what ...but i feel fairly normal...

[Aquarius]

Unfortunately not a good morning have read a success story and realised the person had a really bad time after ct from Mirt i have only been on it at 15mg since jan 16th i now feel scared to be on it ....i am now 10 months out from a fast taper from Sertraline and feel like i should have carried on ....i am stronger in some ways and would rather be completely med free ...any advice ..

[Aquarius]

Any thoughts ...do i stay on Mirtazapine which i wish i had never started now or do i start to come off ...will it be harder to come off the longer i stay on it ...

[Aquarius]

Was doing ok on Mirtazapine so in my wisdom as i dont want to be on any medication the last three nigjts i have taken a piece off not acurately ...this morning i have gone back to square one with severe anxiety hopelessness and crying ....would this have happened anyway or is it my butchering of the tablet ....10 months off sertraline....3 weeks on Mirtazapine...

[Aquarius]

Feel a bit lost really struggling...any reassurance out there ...