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Tanha: never stabilize under diazepam but want to taper


Tanha

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had rough night. 

 

5. jan

10:40 pm.       pressure on chest, 

                         difficulty breathing, arousel

                         heartpounding but

                         managed to sleep

 

6. jan

 

0:45 am.         woke for an hour

3 am.               woke for 30 minutes

4 am                woke shortly

5 am.               awake, mild arousel

                         ruminating, littile anxiety

7:30 am.         hyperarousel worse,

                         want to jump out of skin

                         little anxiety, depressed

                         anhedonia

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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Hi Tanha,

 

There is no need to tag Alto every time you post.  She is following your topic so will receive notifications.  And she will check in on you when she is able to.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

evening and night. Please put times of day on your drug schedule.

I don‘t understand?

 

7:30 am morning 50 mg quetiapine, 

                                1 mg Diazepam

12 noon                 48 mg quetiapine 

                               1,5 mg Diazepam 

7:30 pm evening  54,5 mg quetiapine 

                                1,5 mg Diazepam 

8 pm night.    .       16 mg mirtazapine 

8:45 pm night.       59 mg quetiapine 

9:30 pm night.       1 mg diazepam

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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How to survive this crippling depression?

 

I actually know how to do this, survived my severely depressed youth and came a long way out of anhedonia. But these meds make it impossible. 

never had such heavy lead in my bones/mind alternating with hyperarousel.

 

Emotional anesthesia is fueling this like hell. I wish i‘d never taken these drugs.

 

Now i know I could have dealt with any  natural Depression much better than with this med-induced crippling s....!

I suffered from rumination. That‘s why I got on meds. But I could work, laugh, run, ...

 

All odds against my small fragile will to survive now.

 

i really could post about improvement because there is improvement! 

 

jessas, is this crippling bad. See myself rotting in bed for the rest of the day and life. 

 

Benzos i cannot free myself from right now aber no good for depression either and still too little emotions at all.

 

one needs emotions to get int gear. Emotions induce actions!

 

i force myself doing anything. That is ok for a while. But not for ever. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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16 hours ago, powerback said:

Keep a log of how much .is it thirst why you drink so much or another reason .

If urine is clear its usually a sign you've enough fluids .

 

A long time ago I stopped drinking excessive  fluids for my dry mouth and got sugar free gum instead.

 

Thank you powerback for your thoughts.

 

It is neither thirst nor dry mouth. It is low bloodpressure that I am forcing myself do drink a lot. Hate fainting all the time. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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6 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Hi Tanha,

 

There is no need to tag Alto every time you post.  She is following your topic so will receive notifications.  And she will check in on you when she is able to.

 

Thanx chessiecat.

i really appreciate your concern. I really do because I am not myself at the moment.

 

as you might have noticed I am rather panicky about wd or actually almost anything.

I have this permanent hyperarousel. 

I used to be quite relaxed. 

Yet akathisia and hyperarousel pairing up are a great killer of all tranquillity.

I do not have a minute of rest during the day except yesterday first time couple of minutes.

 

Actually i am very obsessed with these meds since doc put me on diazepam and i failed again and again last year to even cut it. I am only on 5 mg but cutting it proved to be impossible so far. 

Since i am very obsessed with getting every single dose at exact the same time. And i am obsessed with the idea of interdosewithdrawl, too.

Now i am obsessed with my phone because it is my wd-counsel.

 

And wd is my only perspective of getting my life back. Yes, it is not good to be obsessed only with wd. I cannot recommend that at all.

 

But

only now and tediously slowly I can get I nto gear getting a life back. Still there is not much else then walking/pacing i can stand with akathisia and hyperarousel for now. I soothe my mental akathisia with strolling through SA (I use the iPhone while pacing all day alternating with leaving it in the room and walk into nature). I have to work on that. But it is better than google medication sideeffects, supplements or mental illnesses. SA is a blessing and will hopefully be „only“ a phase in life.

 

I played table tennis the other day first time after my year long crash. You wouldn‘t believe how weired it feels inside the brain moving like before my crashes. 

It must be similar to learning to walk after a long coma. 

I had to stop and cry and try again and stop and cry and tray again ... for an hour. 

To feel this specific way of physical movement sent me into hyperarousel and overwhelmed me too much getting so close to my old self for an hour. 

Me feelings are not normal, too. Feeling heat in the hands (which is a normal sports-effect) scares me at first because it feels odd. I know better but it still does not come as nearly as natural. Long way to go and I don‘t know how much I can take in a certain time. I am a cautious person which is not really helpful with this scary way ahead of me. 

I have been bedridden most of last year and had to learn to sit again. Yesterday I felt hungry first time in almost a year. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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i have anxiety spikes and depression spikes really bad.

On top of all my other symptoms akathisia and hyperarousel and feeling physically sick and all day urge to jump out of my skin. 

How much more is there to cope with?

This is really getting at me.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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I7 days since last cut of quetiapine

1 month and 3 weeks after last cut mirtazapine

73 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero

10 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin

 

 

had rough night. 

 

5. jan

10:40 pm.       pressure on chest, 

                         difficulty breathing, arousel

                         heartpounding but

                         managed to sleep

 

6. jan

 

0:45 am.         woke for an 30 min.

3 am.               woke for 30 minutes

4 am                woke shortly

5:30 am.         awake, mild arousel

                         ruminating, little anxiety

7:30 am.         hyperarousel worse,

                         want to jump out of skin

                         little anxiety, depressed

                         anhedonia, diarrhea

                         Apple, carrot, salami

                         decaf. oatmilk

7:50 am.         50 mg quetiapine       

                         1 mg diazepam

                         150 mg magnesium

                          Vitamin d

                          hempprotein

8:15 am.          arousel better

8:55 am.          dizzy/vertigo, mild  

                          nausea,

                          pressure on chest

                          difficulty breathing

9:30 am.          symptoms continue,

                          physically really unwell,

                          severely depressed, no    

                          will

                          anhedonia, alienated

11 am.              physically unwell, 

                          crippling depression,

                          mild agitation, sedated

                          little lack of  

                          musclecontrol

                          no interest, dry mouth

                          Noni juice

11:30 am.        better (Window)

11:50 am.        sudden bad hyperarousel

12:15 am.        burning chest,

                          hyperarousel,

                          less depression

12:30       .        meat, potatoes, beetroot

12:45                48 mg quetiapine      

                          1,5 mg diazepam

1:15 pm.          bad akathisia mental

                          bad hyperarousel      

                          heartpounding

1:30 pm.          arousel

2 pm.                bad hyperarousel

                          want to jump out of skin

                          Vitamine juice

                         150 mg magnesium

4:15 pm.          jump out of skin

                          arousel and akathisia 

                          more bearable 

4:50 pm.          all better but still there

5:30 pm.          anxiety through the roof

                         54,5 mg quetiapine        

                         1,5 mg diazepam

                          meat, cucumber,

                          oats, hempprotein

6:05 pm.          anxiety and arousel 

                          little better but too much

7:00 pm.         150 mg magnesiumcitrate

                         Salami, grapes, sweets

8 pm.               16 mg mirtazapine, 

                          arousel intense, anxiety

                          heartpounding

8:45 pm.          59 mg quetiapine, arousel 

9:20 pm.          1 mg diazepam

 

difference to days before:

 

anhedonia less bad but all day

hyperarousel all day

anxiety all day, terrible spike at 5:30

like 5 days ago (Stresses me badly because it got only better due to evening meds).

less dp

no flue (still believe it is a honeymoon effect).

only in the morning physically unwell but could be worse

mild nausea

severe depression

mental akathisia

urge to jump out of skin badly since noon

every tiny task is too much mentally

eyes lightsensitive

longing for life

closer to emotions since noon

 

no stressregulation at all.

i would love to be able to watch tv again or read newspaper. Would be so great.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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very unusual

 

9;10 pm.       quetiapine (8:45 pm) and

                      Mirtazapin (7:45 pm) knock

                      me out heavily.Never before

9:30 pm.       difficulty breathing

 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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7. jan

 

broken sleep

 

4 am.          woke, anxiety, severe

                    depression, life makes no

                    sense, terrible emotions

7:30 am.     same, unbearable emotion

                     never had such bad emotion

                     doesn‘t feel like getting 

                     any stressrelief ever,

                     I am terrified to loose sleep

                     no interest, I am not able to 

                     find interest in normal life

                     all is too much, mild arousel

 

how bad is this getting?

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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I have been really traumatized by these meds. 

I am not connected with a self or the world. This is terrifying. 

 

is this survivable and can get it better? 

 

My my mind is shutting up from emotions due to this.

 

i cannot get into contact with a self. I am in total shock.

 

outside things distract me but that is merely survivable.

 

it feels like i cannot let myself go or care for a self. There is no self. Just continue googling instead of living. 

 

I remember the weekend at home and how it has been too much and how my body and mind shut down in panic from anything that was to be sensed or thought. just wanting to jump out of this movie. Cannot bear any landscape, any room, any movement. Everything sends me into shock and stress. 

 

I have no pain and thus cannot feel me.

 

Cannot help it.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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Help

 

Akathisia is going through the roof this afternoon (mental and physical). It is so bad. 

 

I need to understand the cause or at least the trigger in order to tough through it. 

 

I am living with permanent akathisia but today is another level. 

 

I don‘t even know if I count as „functioning“ if I have to constantly pace during meals and the most of my day?

Yes, I almost never sit during meals. I take two mugs, put my meat and vegetables into them and walk while I eat. Doctors know about this. Since I don‘t want more meds they don‘t even care about it anymore. They never think beyond the magic pill they would like to have. But they know they don‘t and I am kind of glad that they don‘t bother me with new meds at the moment.

 

 

In in May akathisia was so bad I was in constant pain and could not stand upright anymore. I could never again handle that level of intensity nor would I take a pill to sooth it. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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8! days since last cut of quetiapine

(wrote It wrong yesterday)

1 month and 3 weeks after last cut mirtazapine

74 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero

10 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin

 

 

6. jan

8 pm.              16 mg mirtazapine 

                         still mild arousel, still mild

                         anxiety, heartpounding

                         egg

8:45 pm.         59 mg quetiapine 

                         sedation kicks in badly

9:25 pm.         1 mg Diazepam

 

 

7. jan

 

3 am.               woke for more than 30

                         minutes

4 am                woke for 30 minutes

5 am.               awake, mild arousel

                         Terrifying bad thoughts 

                         and emotions, depressed

7:30 am.         meat, cucumber

                         oats, hempprotein

                         50 mg quetiapine     

                         1 mg diazepam

                         150 mg magnesiumcitrat

                          vitamin d

7:50 am.          108/73 bp

                          worst sensation of a self

8:30 am.          arousel 

9 am.                dizzy  

                          nausea

9:20 am.          symptoms continue,

                          physically really unwell,

                          severely depressed,     

                          chestburn

                          anhedonia, alienated

9:35 am           nausea worse

11:11 am.        hyperarousel, 

                          Noni juice

11:30 am.        hyperarousel and anxiety

                          worse, feeling of no 

                          musclecontrol + control

                          over my will

12                     meat, potatoe, veggies

                          48 mg quetiapine         

                          1,5 mg diazepam

12:30.               cannot find Rest mentally 

                          for a second,

                          severe depression,

                          really bad sensations/

                          emotions/thoughts

                          hyperarousel, anxiety

1:30 pm.          less arousel, less anxiety

                         eyes lightsensitive

2 pm.               suddenly way too  

                         sedated,

                         still feeling terrible but I 

                         can close my eyes and

                         rest

                         arousel + anxiety better

2:30 pm.          Vitamine juice

                         150 mg magnesium

3:20 pm.          extremely exhausted,

                          still feeling very crappy,

                          anhedonia 

3:40 pm.          physical + mental

                          akathisia

                          through the roof

5:10 pm.          little better

5:30 pm.          54,5 mg quetiapine        

                         1,5 mg diazepam

                          meat, cucumber,

                          oats, hempprotein

                          Pudding

6:05 pm.          all better, grapes

7:00 pm.         150 mg magnesiumcitrate

                         intense anxiety

8 pm.               16 mg mirtazapine                          

8:45 pm.          59 mg quetiapine 

9:20 pm.          1 mg diazepam

 

difference to days before:

 

physical and mental akathisia through the roof

broken sleep, woke very early

terrible state of mind in the morning (real dark depression and terrible sensations)

lots of anxiety most of the day

arousel little less but all day

nausea

no flue

physically quite stable

less brainfog

suddenly heavily sedated

a lot more feelings but most prominently bad ones (all emotions are too overwhelming, all come with anxiety)

I am fighting for my life again today

i am really terrified to have such a day again. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment
On 1/5/2019 at 8:25 PM, Altostrata said:

In 2 days, I might reduce to 200mg quetiapine per day.

 

Dear @Altostrata

thank you so much for all your concern and SA.

 

i am not sure what you mean with „might“?

 

are we still observing and then decide or is that my next step tomorrow? 

 

what do you think of the akathisia going wild again? I had it as bad only since I came down from 275 mg quetiapine and cannot find a pattern. The worst akathisia I had in May/June 2018.

 

Emotions are definitely coming back but they are hard to handle after such a long time without them and with this severe depression. Hyperarousel and anxiety are getting a bit too much since the last cut. 

 

Are we still going day by day to find out if cutting quetiapine that aggressively is to be continued? 

 

is a daily dosage of 4x 50 mg quetiapine advisable which would mean to cut most on the evening dose and night dose:

 

211,5 mg:

m 7:30 am.   50 mg

n 12.              48 mg

e 7:30 pm.    54,5 mg

n. 9:30 pm.   59 mg

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

There are so many survivors-Stories since SA started in 2011. 

I would like to thank so many of them for sharing their story but i also feel hesitant to stirr up old wounds by contacting them. Specially if their story is from the earlier times of wd.

 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

 I am so glad my bloodpressure is ok right now. I know the only reason for this is because I am in acute withdrawl. Once I start holding much longer between cuts this will be a serious issue again. But for now I am glad I have a break.

 

The unsolved problem how to taper three hypotensive (bp lowering) drugs slowly is still waiting for me. It has been very bad during former holds and most of my medication gets more sedating (and hypotensive) the lower one gets. Worries me. 

 

i used to faint several times a day and it feels strange and good that this is missing from my life now for some weeks.

 

my lightsensitivity ist still bad since the last cut. I am wearing sunglasses now most of the day (only outdoors).

i am quite sad to have this added up to all my other symptoms. 

 

Eyesight still bad, too (out of focus).

 

Next week will be tough, too, cause then I loose my job. I am on sick leave for quite a while now but at least did not have financial problems. This will change soon. But I will and must stay focused on surviving day by day as good as I can.

 

my Job was the best antidepressant I ever had. I kind of loose the license to work as a teacher any more and it doesn‘t look like I can regain that in the next few years.

 

at the moment I can accept to be too sick for anything. But not being able to get back into my job which I really liked will get at me and my selfesteem. It was actually the job that pulled me out of lifelong anhedonia. I failed in so many other jobs. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

Please, help!

Shall i go ahead and cut to 200 mg quetiapine?

 

I don‘t really understand what @Altostrata wanted to tell me two days ago about cutting. 

 

„I might cut in 2 days“ is that a „go ahead“ or a „let‘s wait and see how things develope?“

 

I won‘t change anything until I get a „go“!

Means staying on 211,5 mg. 

 

Hyperarousel since 5 am. This is persistent and merely bearable. Doing this for hours and hours every day.

sore throat is back, too.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

My English is not that good. Is „I might cut to 200 mg in two days“ just a friendly way to say I must go ahead with cutting?

 

i do best I can to remain patient but my situation is sheer terror. Dare only to think from minute to minute. 

I have such dark depression and fear and with this hyperarousel and akathisia. It fells like I have to do something immediately to get at least a little relief.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

I changed my mind and am doing the next cut today from 211 mg quetiapine to 200 mg after only 8 days hold. 

 

I hope I am doing the right thing. Feels very irrational because it is going so fast but I guess I understood why this is necessary.

i am very insecure about my next steps, though. 

 

This hyperarousel is so bad and always there. I need to get that abate.

Then fatigue or depression are getting so severe. Anxiety all the way through.

 

i know this terrible situation from April/May/June/July and cannot imagine that it will ever get better.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

dose change quetiapine 211,5 to 200 mg

(once only 198 mg today, then 200):

 

 

8. jan 2019

morning 7:30 am   50 mg (as before)

                                 1 mg Diazepam

noon. 12.                48 mg (as before)

                                 (from tomorrow on

                                 on 50 mg)

                                 1,5 mg Diazepam

evening 5:30 pm.   50 mg (54,5 mg before)

                                  1,5 mg Diazepam

evening 8 pm.         16 mg mirtazapine 

night 8:45 pm.         50 mg (59 mg before)

night 9:30 pm.         1 mg Diazepam

 

 

Last change quetiapine 9 days ago from 235 to 211,5 mg

 

If we know it is feasible and helping against adverse reactions (being hopefully the potential cause of my terrible hyperarousel, etc.) and thus, if I am going to continue cutting quetiapine for a longer period of time

i thought of doing microtaper

 

(or any taper with shorter holds like no more than two weeks if you can recommend that). 

 

Reason: 

if we have longer holds I will suffer greatly from severe sedation and low bloodpressure. 

I hope i can reduce these symptoms by „keeping myself in constant taper“ (which raises bloodpressure for a while) which is only possible with microtaper. 

 

At the moment other symptoms like bad hyperarousel, dark depression, anxiety, akathisia are in the focus but I know from former tapers that my bloodpressure is really getting bad during holds.

 

On the other hand with longer holds the body can adjust to the lower bp and will less likely crash if I do a longer hold less often as in microtaper or at shorter holds.

Anyone experience with this in seroquel microtaper?

 

The hyperarousel seems to get into the „old pattern“ of morning and afternoon (getting better around 5 pm) again as I know it from early summer.

 

As you can see I assume that i won‘t be able to reach a stable functional way of life while on meds and have to taper through a loooong Hell. fainting has been my number one sport in autumn last year. Grrrrrr.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

I have these terribly dark thoughts and sensations since a few days. Really bad and deeep inside.

it comes with a lot of pressure. It seems to alternate with the arousel and anhedonia. It is really terrible.i force myself to look at it. Hope this helps make it less intense.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

9 days since last cut of quetiapine

(cut today again)

1 month and 3 weeks after last cut mirtazapine

75 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero

10 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin

 

 

7. jan

 

7 pm.               bad anxiety

8 pm.              16 mg mirtazapine 

                         earringing, arousel

                         anxiety

8:30 pm.         anxiety better,

                         difficulty breathing

8:45 pm.         59 mg quetiapine 

9 pm.              2 eggs, cookies  

9:25 pm.        1 mg diazepam

10 pm.            bad stiff neck

 

 

8. jan

198 mg quetiapine 

 

no broken sleep

5:30 am.         awake, hyperarousel

7:15 am.         sore throat,       

                         terrifying thoughts and

                         emotions of self

7:30 am.         meat, cucumber

                         oats, hempprotein

7:45 am          50 mg quetiapine     

                         1 mg diazepam

                         150 mg magnesiumcitrat

                         vitamin d

8 am.               arousel little better,

                         pressure on chest

                         worst sensation of a self

8:30 am.         like fainting, bad anxiety 

8:45 am.         Heart is jumping out of 

                         chest, dry mouth,

                         dark depression,less

                         arousel

9:50 am.          more arousel, akathisia,

                          painful depression

11 am.             window, emotions, 

                         painful depression, 

                         feeling tense and bad

                          Noni juice

12                     meat, potatoe, veggies

                          48 mg quetiapine         

                          1,5 mg diazepam

12:30.               better, can find Rest 

                          mentally, for a 30 minutes,

1:30 pm.          heavily sedated, arousel

                          eyes lightsensitive

1:45 pm.          bad anxiety until 4 pm

2:30 pm.          Vitamine juice

                         150 mg magnesium

3:20 pm.          hyperarousel through the

                          roof until 5 pm 

3:40 pm.          physical + mental 

                          akathisia

                          through the roof

5:30 pm.          50 mg quetiapine        

                         1,5 mg diazepam

                          meat, cucumber,

                          oats, hempprotein

                          terribly dark feeling in 

                          chest and mind

6:50 pm.          bad dp

                          sweets, meat

7:20 pm.          150 mg magnesiumcitrat

                          dp, despair, chest burning,

                          arousel again

8 pm.               16 mg mirtazapine                          

8:45 pm.          50 mg quetiapine 

9:20 pm.          1 mg diazepam

 

difference to days before:

 

loads of anxiety in the afternoon

long morning and afternoon hyperarousel

appetite

bad dp

much less akathisia

worst sensation of self / painful depression

less brainfog

slept uninterrupted

physically less weak

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

If I were you, I'd make each of your 4 quetiapine doses 50mg, for a daily total of 200mg, and hold at that level while while you keep daily notes to see what your new symptom baseline is.

 

You have less akathisia and feel physically less weak. Those are improvements over your earlier overdrugged state.

 

You are still taking a lot of drugs. Your other symptoms come and go. You are hyperattentive, possibly too attentive, to every little wave. We're not going to be able to fix that immediately. You will need to manage your emotional reaction to your symptoms:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Deep emotional pain and crying spells, spontaneous weeping

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals


Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Are you still taking a mystery drug?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dear @Altostrata

 

thank you. I never took or take the mysterydrug.

 

alto, besides of the akathisia I have this really severe hyperarousel (mainly physically less mentally). It is really getting worse day by day and nothing close to being bearable.

I don‘t know if arousel is the right word. It is physical.

It is nothing that can be calmed by anything and it is really bad. This might or might not be akathisia.. i think akathisia is different but am not sure. 

Please, have a close look at this (pattern) and help me to find the cause, soon. Help me to see if it gets less or more during quetiapine reduction or hold. 

 

I can bearly cope with that so long and intense every day. I tried this in summer, too, for so many months. I was on 200 mg quetiapine than, too. It is really bad and not shortlived.

i have this also with low bloodpressure or heavy sedation, too. I cannot calm this. It is terrible. I have this most of the day now and it cannot be influenced by anything.

 

i had hoped to get rid of it by reducing Mirtazapin from 30 to 16 mg but it did not help. (being on 45 mg though made akathisia worse).

 

please, help me to find the cause as soon as possible. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

I fear for my life. 

Feels like I cannot breath properly, severe pressure on chest and heart, almost like fainting. Nausea, dizzy.

Like if my heart will stop beating, soon.

Dry mouth. I am loosing my mind and control.

 

most severe Depressionen top.

 

hope the last cut yesterday wasn‘t overdoing it.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

11:15 am

Akathisia is going through the roof again. Arousel, too.

 

how can can anybody survive this hell?

 

This is going to last for years and I am already since a year in this terrible condition.

 

i am hoping desperately that I am not swallowing the causing pill because then I cannot start healing. 

 

I am devastated.

 

Please, help to make it more bearable, soon. Depression and anxiety are also through the roof. 

I feel physically really sick.

 

When i don‘t have sickness or painful emotions or akathisia I am nonexistent, loosing the ground, falling into nothingness.

 

emotions are coming back but they are terribly dark emotions. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

I guess I have to hold this dose now. 

 

Please stay with me. 

 

If i suffer badly from adverse drug effects rather than withdrawl (as I most likely do)

gaining stability during holds wouldn’t be really possible as altostrata also wrote earlier. 

So how to find the suitable speed of taper for this?

 

How fast may I cut which drug if the body does never stabilize on the drug?  

I cannot panic my way through taper (due to such severe symptoms all the time) and have the brains to find the right next step again and again. I know, i have to, though.

 

i believe I need a fairly fixed tapering schedule 

to tough through and/or help from step to step from experienced people. 

 

How will i ever be able to be in healthy control of my own wd process?

How can one organize ones own  riskmanagement properly if the overall functional level is way too low (for healing and strategic thinking)

and

a taper lasting several years is not feasible in a way that one can listen to ones body and changes (because the symptoms are not withdrawlrelated and too severe putting me into panic mode all the time) and adjust the speed of the taper to this?

 

i am really at loss here and very afraid to make too many wrong decisions along the way as i did so far.

 

I tapered too fast so far and will in the future because I canno‘t live with fainting five times a day because the drugs give me a terribly low bloodpressure and only acute withdrawl is raising it a bit. 

The lower I will get on the drugs the worse is this effect as is the severe sedation. 

 

Same with the terrible hyperarousel and akathisia that go through the roof every time that the drugs are past serum peak level or so. 

The incentive always goes into the wrong direction and holding is the worst. 

 

That is actually where odors could be of real help with encouragement and experience but with more pills. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

I guess I know now that hyperarousel always gets through the roof after drug plasma peaks are just over. 

 

Which makes it (also) an adverse reaction to my drugs that I have hours after every dose.

 

this is good and bad news.

 

how do I survive a slow multidrug taper for years with this?

 

i wish one could taper faster but I know how dangerous that can be. 

 

 

Darkest depression and anxiety are going through the roof every day, too.

 

I am really afraid that i don‘t survive this because every time these and all the other symptoms show up they are so terribly intense that one would do anything to sooth them, virtually anything.

 

still don‘t know what makes akathisia so bad. I hope we find that out soon. 

 

I think of anybody going through this hell, too. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

1 day since last cut of quetiapine

1 month and 3 weeks after last cut mirtazapine

76 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero

10 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin

 

 

8. jan

 

10 pm.            bad rumination, difficulty

                        falling asleep

 

 

9. jan

200 mg quetiapine 

 

no broken sleep

5:30 am.         awake, physical arousel 

6-8 am.           slight tremor, physical 

                         hyperarousel

7:30 am.         meat, cucumber

                         oats, hempprotein

8 am                50 mg quetiapine     

                         1 mg diazepam

                         150 mg magnesiumcitrat

                         vitamin d

8 am.               sedated, severe depression

                         worst sensation of a self

8:30 am.         akathisia

8:45 am.         mild nausea, heavy pressure

                         on chest, difficulty breathing,

                         like fainting, heartsensation,

                         fear for my life

9:20 am.          loosing control + orientation 

                          painful depression

                          like my heart will stop,

                          nausea, dizzy, chestburn

                          like dying

9:45 am.          physically weak, terribly 

                         dark emotions + thoughts 

                         of self, nausea, physically 

                         really sick, deeply depressed

11 am.             akathisia throug the roof,

                         physical arousel

                         sickness better,

                         severe depression

                         Noni juice

11:30 am.       little better

11:45 am.       nausea, loss of mind/control

                         like fainting, bad depression

                         weak, exhausted, feel crappy

12                     meat, potatoe, veggies

                         50 mg quetiapine         

                         1,5 mg diazepam

12:15.              like no control over muscles 

                         and will rest of the day.              

12:38.              darkest emotions but

                         physically better

12:40.              emotions less painful

1:40 pm.         better

2 pm.               Vitamine juice

                         150 mg magnesium

2:15 pm.          physical arousel, anxiety

3 pm.               depression better

3:30 pm.          less arousel, less akathisia,

                          paralyzed will

                          almost normal stresslevel

4 pm - 6 pm.   everything way too much,

                          no stressregulation, jump 

                          out of skin (could not 

                         go by car back to hospital),

                         cannot cope with the

                         smallest sensation, 

                          burning inside

5:25 pm.          loose control + orientation 

5:30 pm.          50 mg quetiapine        

                         1,5 mg diazepam

                          meat, cucumber,

                          oats, hempprotein                         

6:30 pm.         feelings of no musclecontrol

                        and will control, mild nausea

                        like loosing my mind, despair

7:20 pm.         150 mg magnesiumcitrat

                          most severe depression                          

                          loosing my mind

                          sweets

8 pm.               16 mg mirtazapine                          

                          sweets

8:45 pm.          50 mg quetiapine 

9:20 pm.          1 mg diazepam

 

difference to days before:

 

difficulty falling asleep

cannot do anything at all until 3 and after 5:30 pm

more sickness and nausea, 

physical hyperarousel all morning

total loss of all stressregulation / cannot cope with smallest sensation

bad akathisia only short

often feeling of loosing mind/control, like fainting and dying

terribly dark emotions and thoughts

terribly dark sensation of self

had small window with quite normal feelings

Severe depression in the evening, too

less brainfog until 6 pm

more nausea

lightsensitive eyes

 

i hope I make it another day! This is way too bad.

 

please help me through this terribly dark and painful time. I am really loosing it. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment

Is there anything I can do about this terrible terrible depression that I have since the cut to 230 mg quetiapine?

 

it is sooooooo dark and putting pressure on me into a bad direction.

 

Is there a fair chance that I will ever get a sufficient stressregulation in order to be able to do more than sitting dumbass on the sofa or hospital bed and trying to have as little emotional and physical input as possible? 

Virtually everything sends me into arousel, dp or shock: looking at our cats, looking out of the window, fetching a cup, feeling a pillow, looking at my wife, brushing my hair ...

 

Obviously not much of my stressregulation system has survived  

3 years + on 120 mg Cymbalta, many ct‘s and now Diazepam and quetiapine. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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  • Administrator
18 hours ago, Tanha said:

i had hoped to get rid of it by reducing Mirtazapin from 30 to 16 mg but it did not help. (being on 45 mg though made akathisia worse).

 

When did you reduce to 16mg mirtazapine? Was that one month and 3 week ago? Please just put a date on it.

 

What do you mean by "akathisia"? Please don't use this term, describe your symptoms. It appears this occurs after you take your morning drugs, indicating a drug reaction.

 

With the breathing issues, my guess is you're taking too much diazepam. Excessive sedation can cause "depression," too. @Shep

 

Are you feeling better or worse than you were 2 weeks ago?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

When did you reduce to 16mg mirtazapine? Was that one month and 3 week ago? Please just put a date on it.

 

What do you mean by "akathisia"? Please don't use this term, describe your symptoms. It appears this occurs after you take your morning drugs, indicating a drug reaction.

 

With the breathing issues, my guess is you're taking too much diazepam. Excessive sedation can cause "depression," too. @Shep

 

Are you feeling better or worse than you were 2 weeks ago?

Mirtazapine Reduction:

 

20.aug. 18 

30 to 26,3 mg

29. Sept

26,3 to 24 mg

27. Oct

24 to 20 mg

13. nov

20 to 15 mg

1.12. 

15 to 16 mg

 

 

physical arousel/hyperarousel:

like adrenaline burning in my veins like hell

smallest sensation (looking at a flower eg.) makes it worse

want to jump out of my skin

hold breath to endure it

cannot rest no matter how sedated

feels like burning heart, despair

 

akathisia: cannot sit still, have to pace, 

cannot rest

mental akathisia: cannot Rest no matter how sedated, have to distract my thinking every second to endure it

 

9. Jan

 

10 pm.        breathing problems, mild 

                     physical arousel

 

no broken sleep

 

10. Jan

 

5 am.          woke, physical arousel

                    mild sore stomach

7:30 am.    breakfast

                    50 mg quetiapine        

                    1 mg diazepam

                     vitamin d

                     diarrhea, sore throat

6 am to 8.  physical hyperarousel (and

                    akathisia) through the roof

8 am.          150 mg magnesumcitrat

8:20 am      akathisia getting terrible.

                     diarrhea

(I am not making this)

 

I am really on the edge of bearing these physical hyperarousel/akathisia sensations, really worse since two weeks. Physical hyperarousel is raised a bit throughout the day but also terrible spikes in the morning (from waking to 8) and afternoon (3-5 pm). 

 

the deep dark emotions are much worse than two weeks ago but more in the morning

 

anhedonia and Depression:

anhedonia is little better I think, brainfog too, but severe depression spikes maybe more often and during morning darkest feeling of self, very painful.

 

i had the worst persistent painful anhedonia and depression 4/3 weeks ago after my first attempt to cut from 262 to 230 mg quetiapine (4 weeks after last cut Mirtazapin, at the moment on and off don‘t Know into which direction

 

burning chest and pressure on chest worse since two weeks, difficulty breathing, too. Like loosing orientation and control, too. (I think this is worse after cuts for a few days but not sure).

 

more sedation-events

 

flue is still better but nausea back after two weeks now. Still sore throat 

But I think the flue has changed only to feeling physically and mentally so 

bad I don‘t have words for

 

more emotions since a few days

 

Akathisia is there all the time but I think I got more intense spikes the last two days. Overall this has been worse two weeks ago but worse since day before yesterday again. Worse today, too.

 

until two weeks ago I was well until 9 am and worst flue around noon, afternoon always much better, evening always good

 

this changed in the last 1 and a half weeks to morning physical hyperarousel or anxiety, feeling really a dark painful self and crappy until 11, slight window with feelings until 1 or 2 pm, physical hyperarousel in the afternoon.

 

yesterday and day before I had quite severe akathisia before lunch and around 3 pm. 

 

Changing the diazepam right now would make me freak out. As I said I am in the edge of bearing physical hyperarousel and any small sensation (have a window from 12 to 3 pm though).

 

the disorientation/loss of mind control I had never before two weeks ago. It is not linked to anxiety. It feels like dying of pressure in chest and fainting and loosing control. It lasts for 30 minutes to an hour several times a day. I do not faint. It did not happen for a few days before yesterday.

 

musclecontrol and appetite better.

 

diarreha little worse since yesterday.

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

If you don't want to change your drug dosages, I don't know what we can do to help you.

 

My interpretation of your symptom pattern is that you are having paradoxical reactions and oversedation from the drugs, but I'm not omniscient and I'm definitely not a doctor.

 

I don't understand why you're still in the hospital, but they're responsible for your care. You should speak to the doctors at the clinic about your trouble breathing. It's a sign of oversedation.

 

Very sorry, I don't believe there's anything else we can tell you here.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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17 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

If you don't want to change your drug dosages, I don't know what we can do to help you.

 

My interpretation of your symptom pattern is that you are having paradoxical reactions and oversedation from the drugs, but I'm not omniscient and I'm definitely not a doctor.

 

I don't understand why you're still in the hospital, but they're responsible for your care. You should speak to the doctors at the clinic about your trouble breathing. It's a sign of oversedation.

 

Very sorry, I don't believe there's anything else we can tell you here.

 

 

Dear @Altostrata

 

please help. 

I need your experience to cut the drugs.

I also think it is oversedation just it seems hyperarousel is getting worse. And akathisia.

i guess holding does not help?

 

can i do anything right now?

i will change drugs as needed if this helps!

 

 I will leave hospital if this is necessary.

Just I have therapies here.

please, today is really worse. 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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  • Administrator

I don't know.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Oh no. 

 

2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q

March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine

March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, 

june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine 

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