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a99

☼ a99: can I still heal with all this stress ?

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reachingforthestars

a99, is the weakness and fatigue still very bad? can you exercise? Wish you well!

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JanCarol

Hey A99 - 

 

If you want to try B vitamins individually, start with a crumb of B3 (niacin) first.  It is the most calming of the B vitamins, and can be helpful with anxiety.  If you tolerate the crumb, gradually work up to a full tablet/capsule a day.

 

Then look at B6, using the the same caution, only increasing doses weekly at the soonest.

 

Then look at B12.  If you can tolerate all 3 of these, you might be able to take a B Complex.  But the problem with the B complex, is you might want more B3 than the complex provides, and less B12 - based on what your body seems to like.

 

Epsom salts is a powder, for the bath, not usually take internally - and shouldn't be bundled with B vitamins.  

 

The other thing to consider for mood is Vitamin D - but you should have a blood test to determine your levels before supplementing.  It, too, can be activating during withdrawal, so should be taken in tiny doses and build up to regular ones.  Studies show that dark skinned people do not make Vit D from the sun very well - they are protected from the sun by their natural skin - and - if you cover up in the sun, you can live in a tropical country, and still get vitamin D deficiency.  This is a problem in Indonesia, for example.  But as with any supplement, start small, and work up to a full dose.  (Doctors, if they see a deficiency, will prescribe astronomical amounts of D, which people in withdrawal cannot tolerate.  It's better to take 500-1000 iu daily, than 50,000 iu a month)

 

Congratulations on getting your "here comes the sun" symbol!  Your positive attitude really shines.

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a99

Sorry about my writing I can't think clearly because of the head pressure .

What I'm I supposed to do if my parents force me to reinstate ? today the head pressure was intense and I imagined them forcing me to take the medication . If they did today I would probably take it without resistance  because the head pressure was so bad I think I wouldn't be able even to run away , it made me disable .

So what i'm supposed to do if this scenario really happens ? I'm 20 and I  live with them and I have nowhere else to go or noone to take care of me i'm still disable on many days  and lately they have been complaining about my condition and that they had enough of me , and they now doubt the whole wd thing and think maybe I have another problem with my head or that I might need the drug for life . Just thinking about it freaks me out as they already did force me to reinstate when I cold turkeyed the first time 2 years ago . I don't know what to do sometimes they threaten to put me in a mental hospital and I freak out thinking I would be forced to take medications there . I'm really confused and scared 

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a99

Any help would be so much appreciated . I feel terrible

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KarenB

Can you print out some relevant info for them to read - maybe One Theory of Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome. or How Psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

Or get them to read through The Windows and Waves Pattern Of Stabilisation?

 

Sometimes a little info can go a long way.  Also, recently you were doing quite well and you are continuing to improve even if slowly.  Perhaps you can discuss their fears with them, acknowledge that they are taking care of you, then calmly outline your plans for the coming year - such as self-care measures you will be taking, and your strong belief in your healing. 

 

If you appear sensible and able to manage, with a little help, then it may prevent them from taking actions you don't like.

 

I was discussing with another member yesterday the difficulty in moving from the child-adult relationship to the adult-adult relationship.  You really need to do this now, in a calmly assertive way.  First you need to find that place of assurance within your self.  This is not the time for freaking out - it's the time for taking the reigns and mapping out the direction your future is going to take.  You already have that strength within you - just quieten and let it show itself.     

 

Karen

x

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a99

Can anyone please help me figure out how to explain to them the risks of reinstating this far out  ? And if they say just take it for the rest of your life are there any topics about " pooping out " that I can show them ?  :(

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KarenB

Have a look at these: 

 

Reinstating http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

In particular: 

  • Reinstatement is best done immediately upon appearance of withdrawal symptoms. The more time that passes, the less likely it is to work.
  • The length of this window of opportunity varies according to the individual. Sometimes people can reinstate successfully months after quitting. Others cannot.

 

And in the Tolerance/Poop-out topic:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/437-tolerance-or-poop-out-what-happens/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/437-tolerance-or-poop-out-what-happens/?p=4363

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/437-tolerance-or-poop-out-what-happens/?p=9444

 

From what I've read (and in my experience) it's difficult for people to take SSRIs for life, because they either poop out, or start causing adverse effects.  Then they try a different SSRI, and go through it all again.  And again... but with each change their system becomes more sensitised, and they are more and more at risk of adverse effects.  Try googling the risks of taking SSRIs long-term.

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a99

I will be 2 years drug free in two weeks and I feel full recovery is just around the corner but at the same time I'm having fears about being normal again since I was in a bad state before the meds which was 6 years ago ( sigh ) .I'm having fears of my feelings coming back . I feel like those fears are part of wd and they are magnified . Right now they are tolerable but I remember many times in the past in my failed attempts of quitting I had the same feelings of fear but they got unbearable and I'm aware it's a wd trick but at the time I felt like I couldn't take it and life without meds seemed impossible and the confusion was so bad that I believed the only way is to reinstate and I was so close  to complete healing ( just like now ) but I ended up taking it again only to regret it the next couple of days when the confusion cleared which is definitely not from the reinstatement ( I KNOW it's not ) . So I regretted it deeply and wished If only I was a bit more patient but it was too late and till now I don't blame myself becuz it felt so real that there's no escape but to be on drugs ! My mind fooled me completely but I can't handle it happen again . I don't want this to happen again I've come so far and suffered so bad hoping to get a normal life but I don't know what to do If this happens again to me . I don't trust my will and patience becuz it feels so real at the moment and then it clears up !  I want a way so that even if I look for the drug or a psych doctor to give it I won't be able to find them !

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KarenB

Is there someone you are close to and whom you trust that could check in with you daily over this time frame? 

 

Can you write down now, in very clear ways, why you are going to remain drug-free, and put it somewhere in your house you can see it lots?

 

You are right - it's scary - but it sounds like you also know that if you can manage to wait through it, you will eventually find yourself out the other side. 

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manymoretodays

I will personally temporarily ban all psych. Dr's and pills from N. Africa.  :)

 

I think most of us go through this a99.  Good way to put it.  The "withdrawal mind"  It's cunning and convincing, but we can put it into words, and hopefully in that way avoid the consequences of listening to it or worse yet, acting upon it.

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a99

2 years and almost 2 months off .

The head pressure is definitely better . It used to be all over the skull . Now it's just at the top .

I wonder If undergoing scanning can hurt my recovery ? 

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a99

Please I want an answer .

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KarenB
a99

Thank you for your reply .

Those links talk about wether it is or not  possible to show brain damage by scanning . 

What I want to know is wether scanning itself can have any negative impact or additional damage on the brain and the recovery .

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apace41

What kind of scan are you considering a99?

 

I'm not aware of any evidence that scans would adversely impact the brain either in or out of withdrawal.

 

Andy

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a99

What kind of scan are you considering a99?

 

I'm not aware of any evidence that scans would adversely impact the brain either in or out of withdrawal.

 

Andy

I'm considering a CT scan or MRI .

I remember reading somewhere here in the forum that since the brain is very vulnerable during withdrawal , any scan is better avoided .

Thank you .

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apace41

I think the general view would be that if you don't need a scan and it's just a meter of curiosity, i.e.. a fishing expedition to search for a problem when you know it is really withdrawal, I'd advise against it. If you have a real concern and there is a valid reason to get one, I wouldn't shy away because of withdrawal.

 

Andy

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a99

My head pressure is so bad and it's not improving anymore .

2 years and 2 months off !

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scallywag

a99:  looking at your thread, it seems as if you've had the head pressure since at least January.

 

The threads Karen provided as links discuss using scans to diagnose and/or assess psychiatric conditions. There is little agreement and considerable debate about their usefulness for this.

 

Scans, such as CAT and MRI, are the sure way -- sometimes the only way -- to diagnose other very serious medical problems that might be causing the pressure. Two people close to me (one a relative, the other not) have had medical conditions that were only diagnosed by CAT & MRI. Because of that, if I were experiencing what you are, I would definitely get the scan to rule out such causes.  If something shows up, then I could get treatment for it. If nothing shows up, then I and my health partners know to investigate other causes.

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a99

i'm going for an MRI this week or the next .

I have a strong feeling that this is only withdrawal and that I'll get my normal self again and that's just a matter of time but I chose to do the scan just to make sure .

Recently I've been dealing with a gret horror . The head pressure changed my feelings and I'm almost numb because of the withdrawal since years .

I'm horrified that I'll be shocked when the withdrawal ends and I get my feelings back . My grandmother passed away a few months ago and  I was  and still literally numb about her loss because of the withdrawal . Sometimes I wish I could stay in withdrawal forever just not to be shocked when I feel and know about her death . I don't know what to do . I can't stay in withdrawal forever but I can't imagine what whould happen when I feel for the first time that she's already gone months ago .

Please any help matters . I'm really at the end of my rope .

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LexFree

Hello a99,

 

I am deeply sorry for your loss.  It sounds like you were very close to your dear grandmother.  If you can, think of all the good times you had with her and cherish those memories.  If your grandmother was here today, the best and most she would want for you is you be healed.  Stay focus on getting better to be yourself again.  You have a wonderful life ahead of you, you deserve to live it in a happy state.  As time heals everything, I pray the loss you feel in your heart will be healed in time as well.  And may the happy memories fill it instead.

 

Best...LexFree

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Pepita

Hi a99, I just read through some posts in this thread and if I am getting it right, I think that the "getting worse" and the huge stress-amount is because you are "impatient" and you really want to improve, so you get more frustrated if you don´t?
Maybe it´s not that, but I can tell from my own experience that very often I get in this cycle of feeling worse and worse because I get really frustrated if the symptoms are not getting better as soon as I wish to. 
And to be honest, it is really tough NOT to get frustrated, but trying not to let it catch all my attention really works best for me. 
 

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AliG

a99. I would get it done  just so that you can then put it out of your head , and hopefully forget about it . ( assuming it goes well. )  Many , have had this and it usually comes back negative.  If it helps you get past this, then I think it's worth it. It's usually withdrawal, but I think it pays to get it checked.

I hope it goes well !

Ali

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KarenB

Feelings emerge gradually, so I imagine you'll have time to slowly adjust to whatever emotions return.  You can start to work with the smallest feelings and build yourself up from there.  I suspect that you are already feeling some of the grief about your grandmother. 

 

Is there a particular way in which you have processed things in the past?  I tend to write about things.  When my granny died a few years ago I wrote and wrote down every detail about her that I could think of, and it really helped.  Some people paint or draw, some write music, some people create a personal memorial or garden. 

 

I would be inclined to begin building up your ability to work through grief now, rather than waiting till it arrives, then you'll be ready to work with it when it's time.

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a99

hello

I feel that my emotional and mental symptoms are caused by my physical ones mainly : head pressure and other head symptoms .

Can weird symptoms in head especially head pressure and stiffness cause derealization ,  cognitive problems and feelings of terror ? 

 

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a99

I feel that my emotional and mental symptoms are caused by my physical ones mainly : head pressure and other head symptoms .


Can weird symptoms in head especially head pressure and stiffness cause derealization ,  cognitive problems and feelings of terror ? 


 

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Pepita

I think this is quite possible! When I have a cold I do feel like in a dreamworld though it is just physical symptoms. And because I know that it is due to the cold, I don´t freak out. But if you have constant head pressure and stuff and you don´t really know where it comes from - I think one thing leads to another. 

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LoveandLight

I feel the same.

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a99

I feel terrified and derealized .

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scallywag

a99: all the symptoms you describe are withdrawal symptoms: head pressure and other head symptoms, derealization, cognitive problems, anxiety/panic and feelings of terror.

 

Did you have the MRI?

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LexAnger

I have all types of weirded and very uncomfortable head symptoms, deep bone pain, pins and needling, numbness, pressure, twisted feeling, cloudy, swelling, poking, and others I don't even remember. They change positions and come and goes on hours and minutes. Some of them are companied by brain non functional, paralyzed left side of head, body, severe DR and confusion. I think they are not causing one by the other, instead they are only part of the struggling system and disconnected signals,.

 

I have been having them all the time daily during my micro taper in years. I'm still tapering and still having them.

 

When did yours started? Do they have a pattern within a day and over time?

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a99

a99: all the symptoms you describe are withdrawal symptoms: head pressure and other head symptoms, derealization, cognitive problems, anxiety/panic and feelings of terror.

 

Did you have the MRI?

I did and it showed nothing .

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scallywag

Nothing on the MRI is good news.  I'm happy for you about that.

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a99

Nothing on the MRI is good news.  I'm happy for you about that.

Thank you . 

But the doctor provoked me saying it's all in my head since the results showed nothing  :angry:

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scallywag

Arrogant jerk and illogical too. It's not all in your head -- he just told you nothing showed on your MRI. <_<

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a99

Arrogant jerk and illogical too. It's not all in your head -- he just told you nothing showed on your MRI. <_<

Am I the arrogant ?  :(

No he meant it . He said since nothing showed you're just imagining the pain .

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