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S.A.D? (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or might we be fighting nature?


GiaK

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Healthline, which features my site along with nine others on their best of depression blogs has sent me a couple of emails asking if I might share a post from their site about “Seasonal Depression.”   —  I don’t use the term depression for my experience,  but I do find that there is a big natural shift in winter that encourages going inward and slowing down. I have found for a long time now that moving away from the pathologizing of my experience has been a healthy move for me and many of the folks I advocate for.  It strikes me that our culture is sick and we need to find ways of going back to basics and our true nature.

 

I often speak to the changing of seasons on this site and how I see the natural contracting that happens in winter as a part of being human. It’s a sad reality that our society largely doesn’t know how to deeply and profoundly meet the human animal and so it forces most of us to do far more than our animal bodies want to do to also stay healthy and balanced. This means that folks who cannot keep up with the rat race end up believing and being told that they are sick and disordered. It’s a shame, really. All of life contracts in the winter but we humans are supposed to be separate from this web of life. This is how I’ve come to see my natural change of pace in the winter.

 

I see “S.A.D” not as a pathological process, indeed, not as a disorder, but as our bodies flowing with nature in a natural way … if we let it. Fighting it will, indeed, make us sick, that strikes me as the disorder. We all fight our natural way of being in this culture. We’re all conditioned away from who we are to the point of truly making ourselves unwell. I understand that sometimes framing one’s experience as illness in these contexts is helpful to some folks. I’ve not found it to be for myself and I tend to speak from this alternate framing of these phenomena on this site.

My healing process from psych drug injury, more than anything, has been a coming back to my animal body that knows how to be in this life. It’s a beautiful process really, but oh, man, has it been a long hard haul.  In surrender I am now finding this winter beautiful as I slow down and go inward with a deep gratitude to be alive. After almost dying last winter I am indeed rather pleased at the change this year. Pleased is an understatement but it’s hard to make clear just how I feel because truly coming into the body and being here now is also a bit anticlimactic. No bells and whistles, just grounded pleasure to be alive.

 

So if all of nature contracts in winter…why shouldn’t we also do the same?

 

In any case the items listed in the comfort kit in the post from Healthline is quite good for supporting our natural contractions in winter regardless of how we choose to frame what is happening. Most of what it suggests I either do or have tried at one time or another. Anyone who has read me for long knows I love epsom salt baths!  Also getting out in nature is a critically important part of my life all year-long.  And mindfulness and meditation is an all year long 24/7 affair for me as well. I wouldn’t be here without my process. It’s foundational.

I don’t, on the other hand have any interest is filling up my social calendar and that seems like something that is very personal. I didn’t even know I was an introvert until I started my healing process. I believed I should be out there mixing with humanity far more than is actually healthy for me, so getting stuck at home ill helped me find that aspect of myself too, so that’s not something I need to pursue more than what comes naturally … Number 6 in the post from Healthline is filling up the social calendar. I can tell you when I need to go inward ( — a deep dive into myself, getting quiet) … socializing a lot is the last thing I need or want. I do, however, participate in the local ecstatic dance scene a couple of times a week as part of my mindfulness practice and it’s lovely to be connected to my community there. Of note, I can go or  not go as my body dictates and desires and so there is no pressure to show up. It’s certainly nice to be around my community when I’m up for it. I love it and it’s a very important part of my life.

 

Spring and summer is like another world. I am intimately part of the world around me. (posts on the seasons here and here.)

I hope we can all learn to enjoy the quiet darkness of winter.

 

posted first here: https://beyondmeds.com/2018/12/16/sad-fighting-nature/

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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I just wanted to take a moment to say that I think your article is very well poised and very well written!  

 

I also I think we are fighting nature.  

 

This article from another blogger is another good one which includes what I think is a beautiful poem Time to Slow Down and none of the remedies which are actually counterproductive to what nature wishes for us to do at this time of the year.

 

 

4/2001 - Clonazepam, .5mg (at bed); 5/2010: 1 mg; 9/2018: .5 mg; 10/20/2018: .47 mg; 10/24/2018: back up to .5 mg.  Began daily micro taper by liquid prep on 3/12/2021 (avg. 10% redux of last dose every 28 days).  At .17 mg/ml as of 12/24/2021.

4/2002 - Alprazolam, .25 mg (PRN), up to 2x/day.  DISCONTINUED 10/21/2018
5/2010 - Mirtazapine - 15 mg (at bed)
3/2012 - Aripiprazole - 2 mg (in A.M.) - Began reducing Dec. 30, 2018.  Daily micro-taper by liquid preparation.  DISCONTINUED 1/14/2021.

6/2012 - 500 mg  Metformin ER, 2 tabs, 2x/day.  DISCONTINUED April 2020.

Supplements: Multi Vit Calcium-600 mg x2 / D3-5000 IU / C-1000 mg x2 Fish Oil-1000 IU Magnesium-200 mg x2 / Zinc-50 mg / Biotin-10,000 mcg / Glutathione-500 mg / Quercetin-1000 mg

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It’s interesting. Many years ago I spoke to a doctor who said he’d never had any luck getting anyone off an ad in winter, and this guy worked in Queensland which has very mild winters. I wonder if the honeymoon period after stopping might last longer in summer. It would be fascinating to study that.

 

For me, I live in a hot climate so our mild winters are a huge relief. I’d like to hide in a cave all summer.

2005 St John's Wort / 2006-2012 Lexapro 20mg, 2 failed attempts to stop, tapered over 4.5 months in early 2012

January 2013 started Sertraline, over time worked up to 100mg

July 2014 Sertraline dropped from 100mg to 75mg, held for six months, slower tapering until 2019 22 Dec 3.2mg

2020 Sertraline 19 Jan 3.1mg, 26 Jan 3.0mg; 1 Mar 2.9, 7 Mar 2.8, May (some drops here) 24 May 2.5, May 29 2.4, June 21 2.3, June 28 2.2mg,  July 4 2.1mg, July 24 (or maybe a bit before) 2mg, early Nov switched to home made suspension; 29 Nov 1.8mg; approx 25 Dec 1.6mg)

2021 Some time in about Jan/Feb realised probably on more like 1.8mg and poss mixing error in making suspension; doses after 10 Feb accurate; 10 Feb 1.6mg; 7 Mar 1.4, continued monthly

10% drops until 1mg, then dropped 0.1mg monthly.

May 2022,0.1mg, now dropping 0.01mg per week

29 August 2022 - first day of zero!

My thread here at SA: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1775-bubbles/page/21/

Current: Armour Thyroid

 

 

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