noblenoob: withdrawing from Zyprexa

[noblenoob]

Hi,

 

I've been on Zyprexa for about a month and a half now. 

 

I started off at 15MG for one month at a psychiatric facility after being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Since I've gotten out (about a month ago) I've been at 10MG for most of the last month and have recently cut down to 5MG. The side effects like tardive dyskenesia, diabetes (I am already prediabetic and genetically predisposed to it) along with potential brain shrinkage is not what I'm looking for, and I'm determined to get to the point where I can manage my own moods without medication.

 

I have made an attempt to quit cold turkey, but unsurprisingly that failed miserably and about two weeks in I had to reinstate at 10MG to stop the overwhelming depression and eventual mania ridden with racing violent thoughts of suicide and harming others.

Those two weeks were probably some of the worst weeks I've ever had. I was bedridden each day and entrenched in a deep depression rife with suicidal ideation. 

 

In an effort to avoid the horrid symptoms of withdrawal I have decided to lower my dose to 5mg, hold that for a month and then taper down to 2.5mg another month, then finally to no Zyprexa at all. 

 

Since 12-14-18 I am on Zyprexa 5mg, and things seem to be very manageable so far. The overwhelming depression I was experiencing is gone. I'm just very anxious/irritable and am vaping more frequently than usual. I intend to get off of nicotine once I get off of Zyprexa successfully. 

 

I take magnesium every night and use CBD oil twice a day. I have found that CBD oil helps immensely with anxiety, and the insomnia I had back when I quit CT.  

Running a mile each day or spending an hour on the exercise bike seems to help a lot with the anxiety.

 

Am taking a 6 month leave from my senior year of high school to get off this drug. Since I just moved to a different city two hours north of where I used to live, I have no friends/support except a therapist I'm going to see in a couple days. I have already had facial/leg tremors, some weight gain, and am worried about developing TD. 

 

So glad to have found this online community - will keep updates on my mood and such going forward. 

 

[Shep]

Hi, noblenoob.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

You were wise to reinstate - cold turkey even after a month and a half is never advise. It looks like you're achieving some stability now. 

 

8 hours ago, noblenoob said:

In an effort to avoid the horrid symptoms of withdrawal I have decided to lower my dose to 5mg, hold that for a month and then taper down to 2.5mg another month, then finally to no Zyprexa at all. 

 

This may be too fast. It's really better to go slowly and give your nervous system time to adapt than to rush it and risk ending up sick and / or hospitalized again. It only takes a month to become dependent on a psychiatric drug. Let's set up a cautious game-plan to get you off safely. 

 

Here is some information on tapering Zyprexa and on withdrawal:

 

Tips for tapering off olanzapine (Zyprexa)

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

8 hours ago, noblenoob said:

I'm just very anxious/irritable and am vaping more frequently than usual. I intend to get off of nicotine once I get off of Zyprexa successfully. 

 

 

Antipsychotics are notorious for causing nicotine cravings - the nicotine helps settle the akathisia and anxiety that these drugs cause. So you'll likely have a much easier time stopping the nicotine once you're off the Zyprexa. 

 

8 hours ago, noblenoob said:

I take magnesium every night and use CBD oil twice a day. I have found that CBD oil helps immensely with anxiety, and the insomnia I had back when I quit CT.  

 

Magnesium is fine. It's one of the two supplements we recommend (fish oil is the other one).

 

Be careful with CBT oil. That is a hit or a miss with people coming off psych drugs. For more, please see:

 

Cannabis, marijuana, THC, and CBD or Hemp oil

 

Hopefully the CBD oil will help you all the way through your taper, but I do want to put out a cautionary note just in case you start to feel it's less than helpful. 

 

Are you on any other drugs or any other supplements? 

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Please continue to use this thread to document your taper and to ask plenty of questions. 

 

[PoetJester]

Hi Noblenoob  (like your username. it made me laugh)

 

i had problems, too, on zyprexa- massive weight gain in my belly, thighs (before the drug i was very thin.  after 14 years on it, my thighs would chafe when i walked) and face.  i also experienced loss of muscle strength, liver problems, hypersomnia (all day sleeping) and orthostatic hypotension-  for years i would nearly black out every time i squatted down on my haunches and got back up again; usually in stores looking at things on lower shelves (i would have to hold onto shelving for a minute or so until i stopped swooning to keep from falling on my face).    

 

i smoked a lot more while on zyprexa, too.  that was about all i did for years- sleep 14 hours a day, drink coffee watch television and smoke cheap pipe tobacco cigarettes.  

 

I wish you luck with getting off the drug.   i quit it a few times- usually it was a few days of being sick and then i would start feeling better mentally and have more energy but later i would start developing mania myself and after several months of losing it and becoming severely depressed due to being manic and out of touch with reality and society,  i would end up back on the drug.

 

Poetjester

[Carmie]

Hi noblenoob, 

 

Welcome to SA. I’m glad you found this site too. It is good that you reinstated but your plan for tapering is way too fast. You should never taper more than 10% a month. I can only taper by about 4% to 5% myself. Please read the links above on tapering. Going from 10mg to 5mg is way too fast. 

 

Please add a signature to your post too of your drug history, just press on the link Shep gave you. It makes it easier for people to see your history every time you post, otherwise we would have to go through your whole thread all the time.

 

Wishing you all the best with your tapering💚

 

 

Edited December 20, 2018 by Carmie

[Altostrata]

Welcome, noble.

 

Are you feeling okay on 5mg Zyprexa? Since you've rocked the boat with a bunch of changes recently, you might stay at 5mg for some months to let your nervous system rest, then start a 10% reduction so as not to trigger withdrawal symptoms or cause more upset.

 

Whatever your symptoms were before you went on Zyprexa, you'll have to be careful not to display them again. As a minor, you won't have a lot of control over getting re-medicated if someone thinks you need it, whether the diagnosis was warranted or not.  Are you seeing a therapist?

[Carmie]

Hi noblenoob, 

 

I just realised you already dropped down to 5mg. I didn’t read your post right due to brain fog. Best to stay there for a while as @Altostrata said. Sorry , I thought you were still deciding to drop. You did make a major drop though, so if you end up getting delayed withdrawals don’t worry, you will eventually stabilise.

 

Yes, please stay there for a while until you totally stabilise before dropping down again. 

 

Wishing you all the best in your tapering. 

 

Sendng hugs🤗

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi noblenoob, 

 

How are you doing? How are the withdrawals? Please continue to keep us updated.

 

Let us know how you go at the therapist. Just wanted to let you know that not a lot of therapists know about withdrawal symptoms. They may end up telling you that the withdrawal symptoms are part of a mental illness etc. I was put on and off a lot of meds because of chronic pain, including being cold turkeyed off things and I thought there was something terribly wrong with me mentally and physically. I was suicidal too when they did that to me. Cold turkey is never a good idea. It wasn’t until much later I realised it was withdrawals. 

 

Please do not drop down to 2.5mg after a month. You have already made too big a drop from 10mg to 5mg already. You need to allow your body to stabilise before you make any more changes. 

 

Let us know if the withdrawals get worse. Thank you. 

 

Take care💚

 

 

 

 

 

 

[noblenoob]

Hi all,

 

Thank you for all the support, insights, and info.

 

For the most part, I feel fine. I keep myself occupied playing video games and exercising. I haven't had any severe mood swings lately, I feel pretty stable, although a little more anxious than usual. It's only when I go to a public place - for example, the church service I attended this Sunday - that I feel overwhelmingly anxious, like I'm maintaining a centered mindset by a single thread. 

 

Been making it a habit to run everyday and practice loving-kindness meditation. I have been having more twitching in my face/legs and extreme hiccuping lately, hopefully it doesn't get worse with time.

 

The therapist I went to seemed okay with my plan to get off of medication, but made sure my dad would be supportive of me getting back on medication if things don't work out...thankfully my parents are both against medication so I don't have to worry about them forcing me to take it.

 

My reason for tapering off relatively quick is that I don't have much time to taper down since I've got to start classes at the latest in six months, and from what I've heard it takes a few months after you're completely off of Zyprexa for your mind/body to stabilize... 

 

 

 

 

[Shep]

22 minutes ago, noblenoob said:

The therapist I went to seemed okay with my plan to get off of medication, but made sure my dad would be supportive of me getting back on medication if things don't work out...thankfully my parents are both against medication so I don't have to worry about them forcing me to take it.

 

That's great everyone is on board with helping you get off these drugs. 

 

Have you come across Robert Whitaker's writings? You and your parents may all be interested in this medical journalist and history. His books come widely recommended here on SA, especially this one:

 

Anatomy of an Epidemic

 

A short video about the book:

 

Robert Whitaker, author Anatomy of an Epidemic video (11.5 minutes)

 

[noblenoob]

 

4 minutes ago, Shep said:

Have you come across Robert Whitaker's writings? 

I have read a few of his articles on antipsychotics and have visited the madinamerica website - very interesting how people are diagnosed with mental illness solely off of symptoms as opposed to biological testing to back the diagnoses up.

 

As I believe the former director of NAMI put it, diagnosing solely based on symptoms would be like diagnosing someone with lung cancer just because they have chest pain without even running imaging tests. (or something to that effect)

 

I'll look into his book, thanks for the recommendation

[Carmie]

Hi noblenoob, 

 

Just checking if you’re still doing okay. 

 

Sending sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️

[noblenoob]

Hi Carmie,

 

I'm just super depressed lately, feel like all the life and meaning to live has been sucked out of me.

 

I keep having images in my mind of my dad dying early....like I'll have images of him dead in a casket or at a funeral where he's just laying there. When I'm in this state I am overwhelmed by fear that he's going to actually die early (like really, really soon) even though there's seemingly no reason for me to feel that way. It's really horrible when your mind just is flooded with these kinds of feelings and thoughts. 

 

Missing all my friends I had from before I went to the psychiatric facility - my family and I moved to a place two hours up north pretty much as soon as I got out of there... I had such a great support system back home, my original therapist and friends, now it's all gone. Doesn't help that they've literally all become dependent on weed while I was at the psychiatric facility so now I can't even visit them. 

 

Christmas day the family and relatives all met up at my grandma's house. The whole time I was so anxious and feeling overstimulated so I had to retreat to a back room and lay down for awhile. I feel like a prisoner to my own mind right now.

 

Sorry to be bleak - hope you're all doing well ❤️ 

 

 

[tntd]

Hi Noblenoob,

 

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. Unfortunately that is not unusual while trying to get off of these medications. I can very much relate to being hypersensitive and needing to be able to "escape" to a quiet place. I'm glad you had a quiet place to retreat to. 

 

I also moved right at the same time that my medication situation occurred. I ended up in the psychiatric ward where instead of taking me off of the medications that were causing me issues they added more medications. I've learned so much since then but one of my symptoms is agoraphobia so I've been unable to make friends in the area that we have moved to. Fortunately I do have my husband and children and they have become my support system. I hope that you find your family has been a good support system too. 

 

This website has been a huge help to me as I have been going through tapering and a CT from a medication. They have given me so many answers and so much support and I'm glad that you have found your way to this supportive community.

 

Hugs,

T 

[noblenoob]

Hi tntd,

 

Thank you for sharing and for your kind words. I didn't know that such a thing like agoraphobia even existed until you mentioned it! Might explain why I start freaking out with anxiety and getting tremors in public spaces.

 

From what I've read here, it seems as though there really is a light at the end of the tunnel... although there are times where I have my doubts, and then it's back to reading success stories. 

 

I'm glad to hear you have a good support system, wishing you the best of luck in your endeavors.

[ChessieCat]

Have you seen this topic:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

[noblenoob]

Just an update - lately I have been bedridden most of the day. It's a struggle to get up and go out for my nightly walk, but I do it. I am very irritable and hopeless lately, and it scares me. I've been having dreams of my dad dead and me trying to revive him somehow. And many more dreams of people I care about telling me that I'm a bad person/verbally putting me down. At times, I am very desperate to resume my academic life and go back to school, but then the depression and anxiety and reality kicks in and I'm back to feeling dreadful, afraid that I'm going to die of some horrific disease, afraid of my dad dying. It doesn't help that he told me a few nights ago while I was consumed by this fear that he wants me to become independent as soon as possible, that he could die in a car accident and then what would happen to me. I don't think my parents understand how bad my struggle with getting off Zyprexa is, and it's pretty horrible. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being lazy, that I could be doing more with my life than just dealing with this, and so I put myself down a lot for going through this and not being able to graduate in June like all my old friends back where I used to live.

 

For now, I am sleeping on average 15 hours a day, the insomnia that I first had after tapering down is gone but now I am sleeping way too much. I find that my dreams, once an escape from this difficult reality, are now becoming increasingly unpleasant and filled with more persecution type dialogue from past friends. 

 

The other day, I started hallucinating while laying in bed, hearing constant loud footsteps around my bed and then feeling some body pushing against mine against the covers. I had earbuds in and there was nobody around to be doing that, 

 

I've been "waking up" in a half sleep, half awake state (if that makes any sense), with an intense gripping fear that I'll never be able to get up, that I'd be trapped in my bed for eternity. 

 

Nicotine use is fairly high lately, and I have been feeling intensely uncomfortable and anxious unless I vape a lot.

 

It's tempting to buy weed and just get high and feel good for a few hours, but then I remember how paranoid and anxious it makes me overall so I fight the urge/craving and don't act on it. I used to smoke weed pretty much all day, everyday for a few months before I went to the psychiatric facility. My dad also constantly threatens to kick me out if I did it.

 

just soldiering through it I guess. Never imagined that withdrawing from Zyprexa would be this nightmare. 

 

 

[noblenoob]

ChessieCat,

 

No I have not, I'll give it a read. Thanks!

[frasier23]

Hey @noblenoob

 

Good luck man getting of that bullsh*t drug. Regarding your thoughts of dead father in toilet or what not. If you can (ask your parents first), it may be a good idea to ventilate these thougts with them. Ive had so many thought / images / videos in my had regarding death , rape etc but I knew I had to just stick with them. When I decided to quit medicine I started telling my mum about all my thoughts. Told her it was just thougts / media in my head. She was sometimes scared. Im a kind person but I aslo had thought telling me what to do. Like hit someone etc. I told my mum about that too and told her I didnt want to do it and hoped they would go away with withdrawal. Also I would advise to stay of porn or other intense media. If CBD is working for you good but remember it can also help making more hallucinations. Just some thoughts.

 

Like your dog!

 

// fellow zyprexa quitter

[Carmie]

Hi noblenoob, 

 

How have you been doing? I’m sorry you were getting such horrible images, have they subsided? 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[noblenoob]

The images have subsided, I am doing okay. Feeling super anxious lately, but I'm getting through it. Have dropped to 3MG a a week or two ago.

[Carmie]

Hi noblenoob, 

 

Did you jump from 5mg to 3mg? That’s a massive drop, it’s best never to taper by more than 10% a month. I know you have updosed before, but updoses don’t always work, they aren’t always a safety net that you can fall back into. If you continue to taper this fast you may end up with horrific withdrawals again. You had thoughts of suicide and harming others when you cold turkeyed. Going this quickly in tapering can land you back there again. Please be safe. 

 

Could you please update your signature and include dates as well. Thank you.💚

[noblenoob]

It's been awhile...as of now I've been completely off Zyprexa for a couple months (I ran out). I am having constant anger almost 24/7, intermittent homicidal urges/ideation (which I am able to resist) and self harming...never before in my life have I been so angry. I was also threatened to be sent to rehab by my parents (where I'd see psychiatrists and likely be given medication) but I was allowed to stay at home on the condition that I start HS again. By some miracle and a lot of hard work I graduate in two weeks, much to the delight of my family.

 

My psychologist (who's my only friend or at least a semblance of a friend) has been pushing for me to accept my Bipolar diagnosis for months now and convinced me for awhile to refrain from being on this website. I feel that I have finally unwittingly accepted it. I have this dissonance in my mind that comes up once in awhile though, questioning whether or not I have done the right thing in accepting it.

 

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist she referred me to next week. If I refuse to go my psychologist intends to send me straight to the psych ward in handcuffs. I deeply regret coming off Zyprexa so quick - I thought I could handle it but I guess it's not just a matter of sheer willpower and determination. Running Cross Country and a stellar work ethic/GPA aren't enough to prepare you for stuff like this. Things look bleak, and all my symptoms seem to be in line with the DSM's description of Bipolar disorder...

 

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I can't not go to the psychiatrist, because my psychologist will forcibly commit me to a psych ward.. and if I don't take the medications the psychiatrist gives me, they'll also forcibly commit me to a psych ward.

 

My friends have all withdrawn from me and I'm 100 miles away from them, I feel really alone, more alone than I've ever felt in my life. I guess I'm desperate to find a way out of this before it's back to being institutionalized and medicated, after which I'll have to start this whole horrendous process all over again and lose my personality even further.

 

[RichT]

Hi NN

 

If you feel compelled to see the psychiatrist I think the best option is to be clear what you want when you see them. Do you want to re-instate at a low dose? Do you want to continue off Zyprexa? 

 

R