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☼ Iowan: Lexapro / escitalopram taper, need help and support, reassurance


Iowan

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  • Moderator

Hi:

 

It sounds like you are doing really well despite the world right now. Crazy, huh? But you are handling it with a calm hand.

 

You are so close to being Lexapro free. What a wonderful feeling.

 

It is just plain hot here in Colorado. No rain in sight. My brother in law is a farmer and the wheat crop is a disaster. Sad.

 

Just wanted to stop by and give you encouragement for handling your taper so well😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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@Frogie Thanks Frogie. I'm excited and nervous about being Lexapro free all at the same time. I'm sure everybody here knows exactly what I mean. You've got me beat on the years taking meds, but not by too many. Looks like you're in the final stretch of your LAST med!!! Congrats to you for being in the final stretch too! Since you're still taking Xanax, it may not be an apples to apples comparison for us, but how did the very end of your Lexapro taper treat you, and have you continued to have waves now that you've been Lexapro free for over a year? I'm anticipating another 2 to 4 years of some periodoc waves, but obviously would LOVE them to stop a month or so after I reach zero... I can't wait to be off this rollercoaster!

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator
2 minutes ago, Iowan said:

@Frogie Thanks Frogie. I'm excited and nervous about being Lexapro free all at the same time. I'm sure everybody here knows exactly what I mean. You've got me beat on the years taking meds, but not by too many. Looks like you're in the final stretch of your LAST med!!! Congrats to you for being in the final stretch too! Since you're still taking Xanax, it may not be an apples to apples comparison for us, but how did the very end of your Lexapro taper treat you, and have you continued to have waves now that you've been Lexapro free for over a year? I'm anticipating another 2 to 4 years of some periodoc waves, but obviously would LOVE them to stop a month or so after I reach zero... I can't wait to be off this rollercoaster!

Hi!


We have been on these horrible meds about the same time. It is wonderful for both of us to be on the home stretch!

 

 I know it is hard to compare our tapers because I’m on Xanax, but I do have to tell you I had a lot of nausea while tapering off Lexapro. Then, when I was finally off,  I thought, oh what have I done because I couldn’t function for a few days. I was lucky to get out of bed and shower.  I forced myself to take a walk even. Then about a week after I was off, it just went away. I almost felt human again. Almost lol...

 

 I’ve had a couple of waves since, but they didn’t last long. I just made myself push through them so I didn’t wallow in my own pity,  which I’m good at doing.
 

It looks like you are doing really well. You’re almost there! Just take it nice and slow and you’ll do great.

 

Take care and stay cool.

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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14 minutes ago, Frogie said:

... Then, when I was finally off,  I thought, oh what have I done because I couldn’t function for a few days. ...

 

@Frogie I've had quite a few waves that have knocked me completely out of commission, but most of them in the first few months of my taper, with a couple fairly recently. I know exactly what you're saying. "What have I done?!" often crosses my mind when I'm in the middle of one. But, if I can weather the storm, they last 3 to 7 days and then the storm lifts. Still horrible though. I don't tend to have more than one wave per taper step though, so maybe that's a good sign. It's like my brain and body go through a major glitch at that particular dose and then reboots. Total loss of appetite and vomiting in the early mornings hit me within the worst waves, but other than that, I don't feel too nautious on a regular basis. We weren't able to take vacation this spring due to C19 closing everything down, so I've got PTO saved up for the very real chance that I NEED to take it throughout the rest of the year. With where I'm at, I anticipate being done prior to the end of 2020, but I don't really want to reach zero right before the snow starts to fly if I can help it. Spring or early summer would be ideal, but I'm not going to continue taking this poison into the spring of 2021 just to avoid the fall and winter seasons. 2 decades is long enough. I'm ready to be done. Good or bad, I'm ready to function as myself, sans AD meds.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator
23 hours ago, Iowan said:

 

@Frogie I've had quite a few waves that have knocked me completely out of commission, but most of them in the first few months of my taper, with a couple fairly recently. I know exactly what you're saying. "What have I done?!" often crosses my mind when I'm in the middle of one. But, if I can weather the storm, they last 3 to 7 days and then the storm lifts. Still horrible though. I don't tend to have more than one wave per taper step though, so maybe that's a good sign. It's like my brain and body go through a major glitch at that particular dose and then reboots. Total loss of appetite and vomiting in the early mornings hit me within the worst waves, but other than that, I don't feel too nautious on a regular basis. We weren't able to take vacation this spring due to C19 closing everything down, so I've got PTO saved up for the very real chance that I NEED to take it throughout the rest of the year. With where I'm at, I anticipate being done prior to the end of 2020, but I don't really want to reach zero right before the snow starts to fly if I can help it. Spring or early summer would be ideal, but I'm not going to continue taking this poison into the spring of 2021 just to avoid the fall and winter seasons. 2 decades is long enough. I'm ready to be done. Good or bad, I'm ready to function as myself, sans AD meds.

Hi!

 

I have had a few waves here and there. A couple has knocked me down. I’m sorry you experience them frequently though. I hope they get easier for you as you get lower, and they eventually leave you for good. I know way too much about the nausea. It’s a nasty side effect. Mine finally left me, hopefully yours will. It’s a different world with this COVID-19. It’s a “new normal “ that we have to get used to. A vacation would be nice, but you have PTO to be able to take to heal and get through the end of your taper. I found it was easier to taper in the fall/winter because I wasn’t missing out on anything because the weather was cruddy anyways. But that was just me. Even now, going through my Xanax taper I found the winter was easier because I didn’t have to go anywhere or do much. Just stay hankered down and watch movies. I hope you do better in the coming months. You are getting close! Congratulations!

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • 1 month later...

So, I decided to make the move to 1 mgpw on Augst 7th. I'm 99.68% complete with my taper! I'm SO READY TO BE OFF THIS POISON!!! Then something called a Derecho (bad 70-100 mph wide straight line wind storm that ran 770 miles) blew through Iowa on August 10th, knocking down a bunch of my trees and knocking out my power and internet for a full week in the August heat. Needless to say, I endured an emotional wave the entire time I was cleaning up trees and debris and trying to work out of coffee shops and churches. It was an absolute mess, and so was I. Fun times! Did I mention that I am SO READY TO BE OFF THIS POISON!!!

 

This week is much better, so far.

 

I plan on reaching ZERO on September 1st!!! I'll take whatever waves may come my way from that point, completely free of any AD meds. September 1st will be a true milestone for me, and will allow me to be drug free with a few days to spare before my 45th birthday. Maybe I'm making a bigger thing out of this than I should, but I don't care. It is a BIG thing to me.

 

If I had this taper to do all over again, I would have implemented the BrassMonkey Slide Taper right out of the gate. My early taper cuts were absolutely brutal on my system. Too much too quickly. Thank God I made it through. God truly carried me through the roughest patches too. "Footprints In The Sand" has never meant as much to me as it does today. My sorry butt got carried a lot over the past couple of years.

 

Love and respect to all who have completed their tapers or are currently completing their tapers. It's not an easy process, but being at the end, I have an entirely new outlook on life! God bless!!!

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator

Hi Iowan-- I very pleased to to hear that your taper is going so well, yet quite upset that you had to endure that horrible storm. I've seen the pictures and video and am amazed by it.

 

With you getting to the end of your dry cut taper I have some information that may be useful.  This is a draft copy of the rewrite I am working on for The Endgame Taper. It goes into a technique for dividing the last 4mgpw of powder to try and finish a dry cut taper in a controlled manner.

 

How do we do The Endgame Taper using the dry cut method? It is done by initially weighing out 4mgpw of the crushed tablet and using a sharp object, like a razor blade or craft knife, to carefully divide the pile of powder into four (4) equal parts. This gives 4 piles of approximately 1mgpw each.

 

Reduction 1: take three (3) of the piles

Reduction 2: take two (2) of the piles

Reduction 3: take one (1) of the piles

 

This third reduction will give a final dose weight of 1mgpw, which corresponds to the weight of the AIC. In doing so the person is now taking a dose strength that is equal to the AIC ratio number.  But we can go even further, which is a good idea.

 

The last pile of 1mgpw can be further visually divided in the same manner.  However, the amount of powder is small, so it becomes harder to make equal divisions. Starting with one of the previous piles we, again, use a sharp object, like a razor blade or craft knife, to carefully divide the pile of powder into four (4) equal parts. This gives 4 piles of approximately 0.25mgpw each.

 

Reduction 4: take three (3) of the piles

Reduction 5: take two (2) of the piles

Reduction 6: take one (1) of the piles

 

However, we are not done yet. Earlier we calculated that the Target Exit dose is 1/8 of the AIC. With reduction 6 we will have reached ¼ of the AIC. The obvious next step is to cut one pile in half to get the 1/8 AIC dose. Because we are now dealing with a linear taper the percentage change of each reduction is jumping greatly each time and the Endgame Dry Cut Taper is course at best, it is a better idea to again divide that final pile into four (4) equal parts.

 

Reduction 7: take three (3) of the piles

Reduction 8: take two (2) of the piles, this reduction will correspond with 1/8 of the AIC.

Reduction 8a: take one (1) of the piles, this is optional depending on how your body is    reacting. It will make the final dose 1/16 of the AIC, but as I said before the Target Exit Dose is flexible, not a hard number.

Reduction 9: Do not take any piles, congratulations you just made the jump to “0”.

 

 

It is important to be listening to what your body has to say and not second guessing it while doing these reductions. If there is an uptick in symptoms, then an additional hold period or even a small updose is called for. There is a section coming up giving more details about Listening to Your Body and making adjustments to the taper.

 

 Hope you find this helpful and stay safe.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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@brassmonkey Thank you for this advice, as I know it comes from an extremely informed position. I considered doing this before I started manually cutting 4 mgpw piles into quarters. The 1 mgpw piles are just too small for me to physically cut any smaller with any accuracy. There's barely anything there to work with. In theory, this is a good concept, but tough to physically carry out in reality. For me anyway. I will be cutting from 1 mgpw to 0, as planned. This will allow me a couple of remaining sunny and warm months to stabilize before winter sets in, and that's a good thing for me. If I added more months to my taper by continuing to cut 1 mgpw into smaller and smaller portions, I would complete my taper in the middle of winter and that would not be a good thing for me. With how my waves have been trending since I began my taper, I believe my brain and body will be able to handle this last miniscule taper step to zero. I may experience one or two more bad waves in the future, and that would suck, but keeping in mind what I've survived through to this point, I'm confident that I will endure and overcome, no matter what comes my way.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Here's hoping and praying that it goes smoothly for you.  One thing that I think is good to keep in mind is that your are probably experiencing a combination of excitement and nervousness/anxiety which is totally understandable.  I'm starting to feel this way every now and then and I've still got about a year to go.  If you get some increased symptoms after you stop taking your drug it might be related to that, and not necessarily withdrawal per se.

 

This topic was recently updated:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

I suggest that you check out thses sub topics:

 

12.   It Doesn’t end at “0”

13.   Things to do Along the Way

14.   So, When Will We Get There?

 

 

23 hours ago, Iowan said:

Maybe I'm making a bigger thing out of this than I should, but I don't care. It is a BIG thing to me.

 

It is a big thing.  I'm planning a celebration when I'm off, sans alcohol!  Possibly going to do a meerkat encounter.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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@ChessieCat Thank you! Yes, I do have a bit of anxiety and excitement associated with it, but I can swing those. It's the bad anxiety associated with feelings of impending doom that tend to suck the wind out of my sails. This is good excitement.

 

I've read enough stories here on SA that I know I've got another good couple of years ahead of me before I'm fully free of the negative impacts this poison has had on me. Reaching zero is such a milestone for me though. No other real measurable milestones from here on out. More of looking back with hindsight and saying, hey, I'm not experiencing that anymore... More subtle and retrospective along the way.

 

I've read all three of your suggestions, but will go back and revisit them to see if I glean any new helpful info.

 

Reaching zero AD meds is TOTALLY worth a celebration in my mind. I've tried to tell a few of my friends and family about what I've endured and they all look at me like I'm crazy, so I stopped talking about it. I think to myself, yeah, maybe I am crazy, but Lexapro is what made me that way. I'll never take another medication without thoroughly researching it first. The days of me blindly trusting pill pushing Western Medical Dr's is over. I will NEVER allow myself to be put in this situation again. What an absolute soul crushing experience withdrawal has been for me. No person should EVER have to endure this, and yet Dr's prescribe AD meds more and more every day. Shame on them all.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator Emeritus
25 minutes ago, Iowan said:

I'll never take another medication without thoroughly researching it first. The days of me blindly trusting pill pushing Western Medical Dr's is over.

 

You and me both.  Earlier this year a doctor wanted me to take cipro which I knew SA warned against.  Then I researched online and found several major FDA warnings.  The doctor's response was that only a very small percentage report issues.  I declined, she followed up with blood tests and the infection cleared with no antibiotics at all.

 

Another member was recently prescribed an antipsychotic and if I recall correctly was told it was "harmless and was commonly used for sleep issues".  And again, if I remember rightly, there was an interaction with current drug.

 

30 minutes ago, Iowan said:

Reaching zero is such a milestone for me though

 

Only another week and a bit to go for you.  Are you going to do something to celebrate?  Mine will be a solo celebration because my family doesn't understand, but I'm fine with that.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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@ChessieCat, This boils my blood that so many drugs are pushed on us by our Dr's. Manmade 'medicine' should really be used sparingly, and only when absolutely necessary. They're all pill pushers! Have you checked the statistics associated with the average number of prescription meds different age groups of Americans take? It's ridiculous! We're a 1st world country with decreasing health and longevity rates. That's pretty telling in and of its self. OK, I'll get off of my soapbox now...

 

I went in for my annual physical recently and the Dr. was shocked that I wasn't on any prescriptions. My cholesterol is genetically a bit high, and has been for years. Due to my age, he told me that if it was above the 'range' this year, he was going to prescribe me a Statin. I said, no thank you, I don't need it. I'm perfectly healthy and this is the way God made me. The look on his face was priceless. I've researched Statins and don't believe the benefits are well proven or that the benefits outweigh the negatives, but that's just my opinion.

 

As for a celebration, we're finally getting to take a small family vacation starting early Sept, so I guess that could be considered my celebration. I don't really want any big shindig though. My wife knows what I've been through, so she and I may go out for dinner or something in the next couple of weeks, or get the grandparents to watch the kids, so we can take a day or two this fall to drive and see the changing leaves. Mellow and relaxing. As stess free as humanly possible.

 

I just pray that I continue to make improvements over the course of the next few months and years. The world being chaotic right now isn't the best of timing for AD med withdrawal, but hey, you've got to roll with whatever life throws at you. My family members who don't understand will witness the stronger / better person I continue to become. It may take them years to notice it, but they will eventually. So, in the end, it doesn't matter to me what they may think of me today. Unless you've been through AD med withdrawal or been very close to someone who has, you have NO IDEA what this is like. I didn't.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
split first paragraph into two

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator Emeritus
8 hours ago, Iowan said:

this is the way God made me.

 

👍

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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On 8/19/2020 at 4:12 PM, Iowan said:

Reaching zero AD meds is TOTALLY worth a celebration in my mind. I've tried to tell a few of my friends and family about what I've endured and they all look at me like I'm crazy, so I stopped talking about it. I think to myself, yeah, maybe I am crazy, but Lexapro is what made me that way. I'll never take another medication without thoroughly researching it first. The days of me blindly trusting pill pushing Western Medical Dr's is over. I will NEVER allow myself to be put in this situation again. What an absolute soul crushing experience withdrawal has been for me. No person should EVER have to endure this, and yet Dr's prescribe AD meds more and more every day. Shame on them all.

 

@Iowan

I admire you so much.... And others on here as well.  I pray for those knowingly pushing this poison on the trusting and unsuspecting for $$. Their unrepentant fate is far worse then what we’ve been through. Stay strong as you make your final drop knowing you CAN do all things through Christ in you.

Md
🙏💪

 

1997 Prozac ?mg

1991 Sertraline ?mg

2002 Escitalopram 10 mg

2018 2.5 mg - stopped by Dr./Reinstated, up-dosed to 7.5 mg

04/19 Began BM slide @7.5 mg

CURRENT  0.36 mg 🌼

 

"If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

Mark 9:23

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  • 2 weeks later...

My last official dose of Lexapro was Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020!!! I dropped from 0.001 mgai / 1 mgpw to 0 in my final cut. Went on vacation starting the following day, celebrated my 45th birthday, and am back to work today. I've got a wicked pinched nerve in my neck that I've been dealing with for the past couple of weeks, and it's driving me bonkers, but outside of that, I'm only feeling a bit weepy from time to time and experiencing a touch of mild insomnia. Nothing that won't pass in time. I truly look forward to what life has in store for me. I realize I'm probably in for a bad wave or few, and I'll weather them as they come. God bless all. Iowan

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator

Congratulations on making the jump to "0" it's a red letter day. Don't let the little post "0" fluctuations cause you any grief, it's full time healing from here on out.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Wow you made my day !

Congratulations, you're a very strong and inspiring person ❤

As Brassmonkey so wisely said, "it's full time healing" now and I'm glad for you !

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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3 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Congratulations on making the jump to "0" it's a red letter day. Don't let the little post "0" fluctuations cause you any grief, it's full time healing from here on out.

 

Thanks @brassmonkey. This is how I'm approaching it. I know I'm going to have good and bad days and moments over the next few months/years. Compared to the waves that I've endured getting here, I'm confident that I can handle whatever comes my way.

 

One question I have for you is, does withdrawal from SSRI's ever have lower neck/upper back pain associated with it, and does it subside? I think I've got a pinched nerve in my neck, but I've been battling this more and more, the close I've gotten to zero. My spine at the base of my neck is on fire and all the muscles in my upper back are tensed up like 100% of the time. I'm going to the chiropractor, but I'd like to know if it's a common symptom or not. Thansk again, Iowan

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator

ADWD can be a total pain in the (fill in the blank). I've seen it associated with just about every part of the body and experienced a lot of them myself. Mine was usually back, arms and legs. If a person is at all active though it is hard to attribute an exact cause, especially with necks and shoulders. But I would suspect the WD has something to do with it. What you describe sounds like excess tension, which could be directly tied to the WD, and should subside with time. Lots of rubbing and stretching help. Also I love my corn bag. Heat it up every evening and use it on my neck and shoulder for an hour.

 

I do know that since I retired and jumped to "0" my overall pain levels have been dropping. It probably has to do with both the jump and retirement.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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@brassmonkey, I am a physically active person, but I spend at least 40 hours a week staring at a computer screen, and it's easy to not practice good posture while you're deep into data anlysis or coding. I thought maybe it was a cumulative thing due to bad posture, as I haven't fallen or injured myself recently. I'm thinking it's probably due, at least partially, to my ADWD. It does feel exactly like excess tension, just without the high anxiety or panic. It gives me raging tension headaches too. I'll keep going to the chiropractor and see what he has to say, but I'll also try to sweet talk my wife into rubbing my back for me too. Thanks for the info and advice. I SO look forward to retirement some day. What a stress reliever that will be.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator

@Iowan!

 

I just wanted to stop by and say congratulations!🎉

 

You made it to 0. 

 

That is so awesome!!!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Congratulations Iowan!   God bless you!

2010:  Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg.   Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg. 

2011:    Tapered Mirtazapine: 5 month successful taper.  Then tapered Lexapro:  4 month successful taper

May 2011 to August 2017:   No medications, full recovery

September 6, 2017:  started Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg  - due to severe sudden insomnia (I believe caused by statin use)

November 16, 2017:   started Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg

January 1, 2018 to October 30. 2020 -- 34 month taper off of Mirtazapine 15 mg to 0.00 mg

June 16, 2018:  Started slow taper of 10 mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)

Current (mgai):    0.23 mg  Escitalopram

Supplements:  Fish Oil, Curcumin, bio active B vitamins, zinc, magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, saffron, citrus bergamot, ashwagandha

 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

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1 hour ago, Iowan said:

My spine at the base of my neck is on fire and all the muscles in my upper back are tensed up like 100% of the time.

Congrats Iowan!

Not to worry you but... a gf recently recovering from Covid claimed same symptoms along with the headaches. Keep an eye out.

Hope you keep us posted how zero goes.  Very happy for you!

Md

1997 Prozac ?mg

1991 Sertraline ?mg

2002 Escitalopram 10 mg

2018 2.5 mg - stopped by Dr./Reinstated, up-dosed to 7.5 mg

04/19 Began BM slide @7.5 mg

CURRENT  0.36 mg 🌼

 

"If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

Mark 9:23

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  • 2 weeks later...

No C19 here. Well, I guess I can't say that for certain, but if it has come through my household, we have either had mild cases or were asymptomatic. Like MOST people. I write for hours on my opinions of C19, but this isn't the forum for that.

 

I'm approaching 3 weeks into being Lexapro free and I feel pretty dang good. I have gotten some relief for my upper back and neck pain / tension from my chiropractor and some new exercises I perform at my desk through the day. Bad posture working at my home office has given me 'mouse shoulder' and has caused my thoracic spine to go a bit crooked. My home office is good for temporary working, but isn't ergonomically friendly for spending 2k+ hours working in annually. I'm pretty sure my AD-WD has also contributed to the pain and muscle tension too, but don't know how I'd go about proving it. In any case, the tension and pain are better, but not 100% gone yet.

 

I feel a little melancholy in the early morning hours before I get up for the day, but that's getting better too, and doesn't last long after I get busy. Some days I get up at 1:30 to 3:30 AM and can't go back to sleep, and other days I get up around 3:30 and go back to sleep pretty quickly again after using the restroom. If I am stuck awake, I don't have the panic feelings like I did before. I'm just awake, and that's about it, which is AWESOME.

 

When I began my taper, my body had decided it was going to reject Lexapro after nearly 2 decades of being on an SSRI. AND, my body was also dependent on it too, so it put me in a pinch. I had to get off of it, but I had to do it super slowly because I was a dang addict. I think that now that I'm 100% off of it, (zero pharmaceutical or over the counter drugs in my system), my body is no longer rejecting the Lexapro that is finally completely out off my system. I'm now only dealing with the dependence / addiction portion, and whatever underlying symptoms / conditions I may have because of who I am. So, instead of fighting two battles simultaneously, I beat one and am now only fighting one, and since I did my taper so slowly, I'm winning that one too.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and drop a note as to how I'm doing as a status update and a piece of real life encouragement for anyone else struggling through this. Life is GOOD and only continues to get better. I'm thankful to my wife, everyone who has helped me through this, and the SA website. I'm also eternally thankful to Jesus Christ who carried me through the roughest patchen when I'd thrown in the towel.

 

Never again!

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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Turn for the worse.

Our 6 month old puppy got into mouse poison that I carelessly placed around the premiter of our house. Mice had began to enter in droves when the night temps dropped. I honestly didn't think mouse poison would hurt a big animal and that they would leave it alone, like they did on the farm when I grew up. Turns out mouse poison active ingredients have changed. Long story short, our beloved puppy had irreversible internal bleeding and I had to put him down and bury him on Wednesday, 9/23/2020. I and my wife are devistated and I carry 100% of the responsibility, even though she feels guilty too. Kids are pretty heartbroken too. It's been an extremely rough few days.

 

Needless to say, the heartache and stress have triggered a wave, or something very similar. Very little sleep on Wednesday night and maybe an hour Thursday night. Hypnic (Hypnagogic) Jerking started a little past midnight and shocked me awake ~100 times. I took meletonin around 12:30, but that just made things worse by making me incredibly tired and unable to keep my eyes open. If you are the praying type, please say a prayer for me to forgive myself and for I and my family to have healing and peace. Thank you, and I'm so sorry. Iowan

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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Sorry to hear your struggles. What a difficult situation. I’m guessing an emotional situation Like that is hard without WD but it’s probably amplified with neuroemotions.  They are so difficult. My thoughts are with you and your family.  
 

I’m also a father in my 40s coming off lexapro. I took it for about 11 weeks and finished July 4th.  I ‘tapered’ 5.5 weeks off. These past 12 weeks have been a rollercoaster.  I shared your sleep struggles last night.  My neuroemotions got to me. I hope you get out of this wave quickly!  
 

I appreciate your story as I’ve debated reinstatement. Up until last night, my symptoms have been tough but manageable. Last night was the worst night I’ve had by far but I had a busy, emotional day yesterday. Your story gives me something to consider as overall you seem to be progressing.  I wish you well and healing!  

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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@Fightinghard, sounds like you tapered pretty aggressively and quickly, but it also looks like you weren't on Lexapro for too tremendously long. I imagine your past 12 weeks have been a rollercoaster. I know all about that. Reinstating is completely a personal choice, but if you've been completely off since 7/4/2020, I would advise against it, as it's been such a long period of time, and it could do more harm than good. Might be best for you to hold on and ride this one out.

 

A little advice about the sleep struggles of what I've self diagnosed myself as having Hypnic (Hypnagogic) Jerking, is to not take any sleep aids when you're experiencing it. The reason I say this is that I've found that once it sets in, I'm better off not taking anything and simply embracing it for what it is and staying up, watching TV or something. I might nod off a few times to be wakened by what feels like a bolt of lightning, but that's better than taking something. When I take meletonin or break down and take a prescribed sleep aid, they're not powerful enough to override the Hypnic Jerking, so I suffer through the night fighting to stay awake, and in turn getting zapped ~100 times as compared to a handfull of times, if I had just rolled with it.

 

I anticipate this indeed being a wave that will pass in a few days, even though the heartache and guilt from the preventable loss of my puppy will remain for some time to come. I just need to accept it for what it is, forgive myself, and move forward. I keep telling myself that it's not like I can turn back the hands of time and do anything differently, so I may as well stop beating myself up about it. It's still hard though.

 

Reinstating for me is not an option, so I'll continue to take one whatever comes my way, free of AD meds. Thanks, Iowan

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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Thanks @Iowan!  Yeah I followed the advice of my dr and tapered quickly. I actually extended longer by 2 weeks. So unfortunate Drs don’t know how to taper, etc.   I think I’m struggling with Neuroemotions.  Past things that are surfacing only more intense. I’m sure it’s similar with your puppy.  Your emotions are on high alert so everything seems even worse. 
 

I’ll ride this out. I kind of have to at this point.  I struggle though with how much of my struggles with emotions are WD and how much are just the stress of life in the pandemic.  Either way, I need to acknowledge them, accept them and move on.  
 

I wish you well in your healing. 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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@Fightinghard, I totally understand what you're saying. It is a dang shame Drs are so quick to prescribe AD meds (SSRIs and Benzos) so freely and yet don't know squat about safely weaning people off of them. Makes me extremely angry. I agree, it's tough to know what's AD WD related and what's you. I'm a whole different person than I was in my mid 20's, so I tend to blame everything on AD WD first and then if it doesn't pass, I address it on a personal level.

 

My neck, upper back and shoulders have SO MUCH tension in them right now that it's ridiculous. Tension headaches are bad. It gets nearly unbearable when waves set in. Like a burning ball of pain at the base of my neck that radiates out in all directions. I took more time today to further research and found that this is a pretty common AD WD symptom of Lexapro. It's awful, but now that I know it's probably going to get better with time, I'm more accepting of it.

 

I've only been completely off of Lexapro for a little over 3 weeks at this point, so I guess I should expect this and more over the next few months. My brain and body are coping and rebuilding. It's just going to take time.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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It’s such a complicated process!  These obscure symptoms are crazy. Muscle tension and burning, etc. it’s just bizarre.  These drugs affect everything!  Like you, I was an athlete.  In March I was in the best shape of my life.  6’3” 200 pounds about 8% body fat.  I was in such a grove.   Now- I’m struggling to stay at 190.  My exercise is walking or a bike ride at best.  I’ve lost all muscle mass.  It’s shocking. I took the meds 11 weeks total.  That all said, i did have extreme anxiety attack with the lockdown.  I think now with me being off the meds I’m relieving my anxiety and emotions from March.  Except even stronger.  That’s where I struggle with what’s WD and what’s me.  I think it’s both. I’m doing therapy weekly to help.  
 

I guess all we can do is wait it out. Be smart and accept what it is.  I was doing decent the past few weeks.  Subtle improvements.  I really pushed myself at work yesterday ( I drove 6 hours plus worked 4) and I think it triggered me.  I must be in a strong wave right now because my anxiety is high and It’s rough.  
 

We’ll make it through this. It will be bumpy I’m sure at times.  But time is our friend. Thanks for the reinstatement advice earlier.  I was really considering it but after seeing people’s experiences, I wasn’t doing to bad. I might as well stick it out hoping my short term use is in my favor.    I hope this wave is short term.  I’ve truly cycled day to day with waves and windows.  We’ll see.  
 

Continue healing. I hope your path smooth and quick.  You’ve come a long way.  Congrats on the 3 weeks off.  

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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  • 1 month later...

I'm 2.5 months off of Lexapro today. The horrible days/week long panic attacks or horrific waves are gone, or at least I haven't had any since I reached zero. I've had a few bumps in the road or mild to medium waves, but nothing like they used to be. The waves I endure now are not random. They are all brought on by stress, and the world is FULL of stress right now. I am continuing to make improvements day to day and week to week.

 

My neck and back are slowly getting better, and I'm certain my Lexapro withdrawal is what caused it. Really strange, but kind of par for the course at this point.

 

Now that Winter is here, my brain and body want to go to sleep soon after the sun goes down. I struggle to stay awake past 8:00 PM, but try to force myself up until 9:00 or 9:30 at least. I fall asleep very quickly, but usually wake up the first time between midnight and 1:30. I might be up for the rest of the night from that point, and I might fall back to sleep until like 4:30. It just depends on if my brain spins up or not before I can get back to sleep after visiting the restroom. I try not to focus on the lack of sleep, as I am allowed to get more sleep when I NEED it. My days of sleeping in on the weekends are over though, I'm confident. At least I'm not waking up with panic anymore.

 

I do wake feeling meloncholly most mornings however. This tends to pass as soon as I get up, moving around and get a cup of coffee. I also remember feeling this way pre SSRIs, so maybe it's just how I'm hardwired.

 

TMI for some, but my sex drive hasn't really changed, (pretty healthy), however my stamina is a fraction of what it was on Lexapro. As soon as my brain sends an excited signal out about what my wife and I are in the middle of, I'm done. This means lots of foreplay before the actual act, otherwise, there wouldn't be much in it for my wife.

 

I still cry from time to time, but not like I did, and usually only when I've been under a lot of stress.

 

Again, I have noticed improvements. It's a slow process though. I know that my neck/back pain will go away. I know that my waves will continue to diminish. I know that my sleep will probably improve. I know that my sexual stamina will return. To what degree, I don't know yet, for any of these things, but I do know that they will all continue to get better over time.

 

Oh, I want to add that melatonin and any sleep aid that I've tried to date tends to have the opposite effect on me. If I take anything, when I wake in the middle of the night, I am immediately revved up and boarderline paniced. Maybe I'm taking too much, or the wrong stuff. Something I can figure out over time, but for now, I'm just abstaining from taking any sleeping aid, alltogether.

 

God Bless, Iowan

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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  • Moderator Emeritus
10 hours ago, Iowan said:

however my stamina is a fraction of what it was on Lexapro.

 

This isn't really surprising because of the numbing effect (not physical) of antidepressants.  I've noticed a difference too and I'm a female.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Iowan,

And thanks for the update.  Congratulations too, on your now, post zero state, 2.5 months off!  Confetti, balloons.

And some great improvements noted in your update.  As well, as coping skills.

 

Oh, best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hey Iowan-

 

Glad to see your moving forward and making progress!  It’s so hard because it’s just so painfully slow but I guess it is what it is.  
 

i wanted to comment because while our paths to this point are different our symptoms are similar. .  I can relate to each of your symptoms.  My sleep is so similar. In bed between 9-10 with several wake ups and up by 5.  I have had a few nights of 6 hours stretches though but recently I’ve fallen into this pattern. I’m right there with you with the stamina.  It’s frustrating.  I’ve been having more of a melancholy morning lately versus the anxiety of the past.  I’ve had a few other symptoms but most are minor and many subsiding.  
I’m off lexapro now 20 weeks.  Almost 5 months.  We’ll continue to get better, slowly.  I think 3 months from now we’ll look back and see has far we’ve come. Who knows, maybe we’ll be past all this? 
 

Just curious, do you find yourself thinking about WD most days?  Does it dominate your thoughts?  I was going through this but I’m noticing its less and less. Being busy with work and kids helps but I’m noticing I’m less focused on it compared to a few months ago. 


I wish you continued healing! 
 

 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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@ChessieCat, I agree. I'm betting it's because the SSRI numbed my feelings and emotions.

 

@manymoretodays, Thank you.

 

@Fightinghard, CONGRATS on 5 months of freedom!!! I wish the FDA would do something constructive with all of our similar withdrawal sytmptoms. At the very least slap a HUGE warning label on all of these poisons?! Ugh. It is refreshing to read that others have and are experiencing the same things though. I was SO ALONE when I started my journey to get off of Lexapro a couple years ago. I had to go against EVERYONE in order to do what I knew was the right thing. I'm so happy I found SA and all of you. It truly saved my life.

 

As for thinking about WD and WD symptoms... Thinking back, I believe those topics did tend to domninate my thoughts while I was tapering and for maybe the first month after I'd completed my tapering. Maybe because measuring out and taking my daily dose was a constant reminder of what I was going through. Maybe because the symptoms were much more severe than they are now. I can't say for certain why, but I do know that these topics don't domninate my thoughts today. I know that I am still suffering WD symptoms today and will continue to. I also know that other things I'm feeling today are 'ME' returning, or my hardwiring coming back after being smothered by the SSRIs. Over the course of the next few months/years, I get the pleasure of continuing to heal from the disipating WD symptoms, and I get to figue out who I am again, and choose how I want to handle everything. Thank God, I'm much better equiped for this at 45 than I was in my mid 20's.

 

Best of luck to you, and keep recognizing the improvements as they come.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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I agree with you. It’s nice to know you’re not alone.  Thanks for your thoughts on WD dominating thoughts.  Mine has been less and less which I think is a good sign.  Is still there but it doesn’t own me.   Let’s hope our progress continues in a steady upward trajectory! We’ll get there!

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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