Administrator Altostrata Posted November 9, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 9, 2020 Daisy, I would reduce the citalopram to 0.5mg. When you took citalopram prior to April 2018, did you have an adverse reaction to it? Did you take it with other drugs? You rise at 4 a.m. for work, then go back to sleep? What is your usual sleep schedule? Why do you take citalopram at 11:40 a.m.? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 I never had an adverse reaction to citalopram prior to April 2018 no. I always felt quite well on it. Never took other drugs. Yes I go back to sleep around 730 am. I sleep from 11 to 4 then I am up from 4 to 730 then back to sleep until around 11. I take citalopram then because I feel like it ramps up my anxiety and I need the rest. At least at 11 am I am up for the day April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 9, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 9, 2020 Please take your drugs at the same times each day. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 I will April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Jay78 Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 19 hours ago, Daisygirlsk said: Hello, Yes i do meditate every night and it does help. But then my symptoms start all over again in half hour or so. It sucks. My thoughts are so obsessive and i've had the same ones running nonstop for 19 months. It could very possibly stop by itself at some point as your brain grows older, brains change over time, I know mine went away on it's own so hopefully yours will to. But it's great you are managing to meditate and have some, minimal, relief. I am not well versed in ocd and the pure O you are having to advice you more sadly, a good shrink might know but there's not an abundance of them around. Feb 2015 Invega 9mg tapered to zero over 6 month, Levomepromazine 25mg for 3 months, Citalopram raised from 20mg to 80mg over 3 months, at 80mg for 1 year and 5 months, Venlaxafine raised from 150mg to 450mg over 3 months (after citalopram) maintained for 1 year and 2 months. Cold turkey off both. Two shots of haldol decanoate. Alprazolam from 0.5 to 7(!) mg due to the immense stress of the ads. Down to 2.5mg October 2017 Occtober 2017 - Dec 2017 Moclobemide raised from 200mg to 800mg during a month and half discontinued with no tapering. Jan 2017 Feb 2017Fluvoxamine and Venlaxafine 300mg and 450mg, abrupt start, no tapering in discontinuation. 30mg Mirtazapin at night. Close to two months off antidepressants but on benzos. 6 months on 2.5mg alprazolam, Diazepam 5mg for 1.5 months. Currently on 600mg peronten, 400mg seroquel xr, Risperdal Consta 50mg. In the past 8 months dropped quitapine from 400 -> 300->200->100->75->50->25. Dropped paliperidone palmitate 100 to 75mg (two months on the lower dosage) Dropped Gabapentin 300mg->200mg->100mg->0 Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 I've noticed a definite pattern the past 5 days. My anxiety and intrusive thoughts are the worst about 4 hours after i take citalopram. But overall, i do feel a touch happier and more content. It's like the clouds are lifting a bit. I have not felt happiness or joy for over 2 years. So that must be a good sign? And my sleep was amazing last night. I will take that as a positive. I don't notice any other negative symptoms but increased anxiety and intrusive thoughts 4 hours after dose. Also some muscle tension. But so far I feel relatively ok and overall on the incline. April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 9, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 9, 2020 That good news. Thanks for updating us. If there is a distinct pattern it definitely helps. It means that can be prepared for it and know that it will pass as the day progresses. And it also means that you can work around it by not scheduling harder tasks at that time. You could set yourself up with a plan of what you will do at that time, for example some gentle exercises or stretches, or some outdoor mindfulness time. Please be aware that there will probably be a windows and waves pattern still but hopefully the waves will be less strong and happen less often. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 Thank you. I havent noticed a real improvement in my obsessive thoughts which is my worst symptom but I'm hopeful now that they will lessen as I stabilize and maybe increase later. Thank you for your response April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 9, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 9, 2020 4 hours ago, Altostrata said: Daisy, I would reduce the citalopram to 0.5mg. It's possible that after you get used to it, you might increase it a little more. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 8 minutes ago, Altostrata said: It's possible that after you get used to it, you might increase it a little more. I will continue to monitor and track and post symptoms. Thanks for your help April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Jay78 said: It could very possibly stop by itself at some point as your brain grows older, brains change over time, I know mine went away on it's own so hopefully yours will to. But it's great you are managing to meditate and have some, minimal, relief. I am not well versed in ocd and the pure O you are having to advice you more sadly, a good shrink might know but there's not an abundance of them around. It's ok. This is not new to me I've had OCD most of my life it's just much more severe now. Thank you for your message. How are you? April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 Hi everyone, I need to stop this reinstatement. I feel ok until a couple hours after my dose then I have severe anxiety to the point that my vision gets blurry, I get dizzy and my entire body stiffens up. I cant even think straight. It hasnt made a dent in my intrusive thoughts. I know it has only been 5 days but I need to function. At least before this I had bad ocd symptoms still but hadnt had panic in almost a year. I feel sick and cant physically relax at all. My entire body hurts and my heart is palpitating. I hope after 5 days of a small reinstatement I can just stop. My motivation to do anything is way down I am just consumed with symptoms. I realize now how much I have improved the past 2 years. This feels acute again. My eyes and head are throbbing. April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 10, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 10, 2020 Is there anything else that has happened or have you taken/drunk anything recently during the reinstatement period which might be muddying the waters and making it hard to know for sure that it is the reinstatement causing these symptoms? Please check out this labelled diagram from this website which shows what affects anxiety can have on the body: See the one headed Brain hijacked 1 * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 I've been keeping detailed notes and I just cant pinpoint anything but the drug. I havent had alcohol or caffeine or anything and I havent pushed myself. If anything I've slowed down. But like clockwork every day 3 hours after dose I get like this and stay like this until I go to bed. I'm so tense I can hardly straighten out my body April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 Woke up at 10am. A bit tense but not extreme anxiety 11:30 - 1mg citalopram 12:20 - intrusive thoughts increasing but I actually felt happy. Starting to feel tired 2 to 3 - tutoring online. 3:30 - anxiety increasing 4:10 - intrusive thoughts becoming severe and all consuming. 5:40 - nearing complete panic. Trying to watch funny tv and breath but anxiety getting worse and worse. Intrusive thoughts very severe. 6pm - ate warm bowl of soup. Starting to calm down. 8:30 - reading. Feel calmer but now have a headache. Body very tense it hurts to straighten out. Eyes sore and feel tired. Stomach hurts April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 10, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 10, 2020 15 minutes ago, Daisygirlsk said: I've been keeping detailed notes That's good. It sounds like you're very in tune with your body/symptoms. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 I think its because I've had diabetes since childhood. I had hoped that eventually the reinstatement would reduce my symptoms but I cant continue if I'm losing functioning April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 10, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 10, 2020 If you have decided to stop it, then it is better to do it straight away. It takes a dose about 4 days to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain. You might have some rough/er days for a little while but hopefully things will settle quickly. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 11, 2020 Author Share Posted November 11, 2020 Hello, I decided to go back to 0.5mg citalopram instead of jumping off. I need to try and stabilize and give this reinstatement longer than 5 days. Here are my notes from today. I barely slept last night. Very anxious. Meditating was not calming me. Up at 4am to teach - extremely anxious. Feel insane. Nonstop intrusive thoughts. Very tense body. My thoughts just loop constantly and won't let go. 4:30 to 7 - teaching online. Still feel pretty horrible but it was a nice distraction to see my students. 7am - took 50 mg gravol and insulin and went to sleep. 11am - awake. Anxiety not too bad but body feels very tense. 12pm - shoveling mounds of snow. Body very tense and sore. 12:30 - eat lunch. 1pm - drink a decaf coffee. 2pm - take 0.5mg citalopram. Should have taken earlier at 11:30 but was agonizing whether or not to take at all. 2:15 - attempted workout but too tired so stopped after 10 minutes. 3:15 - arms tense and feel like they're burning a bit. Obsessions and anxiety minimal. Tired. 4:20 - feel really relaxed. OCD still there but not super intense. 6pm - supper. 6 to 7pm - laying on couch. Heart rate increasing and intrusive thoughts getting stronger. April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 11, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 11, 2020 You're taking insulin? Have you reviewed your symptoms with your endocrinologist? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 11, 2020 Author Share Posted November 11, 2020 24 minutes ago, Altostrata said: You're taking insulin? Have you reviewed your symptoms with your endocrinologist? Yes I've been diabetic since childhood. I'm currently on a waiting list for an endocrinologist since I moved cities. My main symptom is ocd thoughts April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 11, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 11, 2020 We don't know much about diabetes treatment. Can any of your symptoms be from that? Too much insulin? Too little insulin? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 11, 2020 Author Share Posted November 11, 2020 8 minutes ago, Altostrata said: We don't know much about diabetes treatment. Can any of your symptoms be from that? Too much insulin? Too little insulin? No definitely not. I've had diabetes for 23 years and it's only since coming off citalopram that this started. April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 11, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 11, 2020 17 hours ago, Daisygirlsk said: 2pm - take 0.5mg citalopram. Should have taken earlier at 11:30 but was agonizing whether or not to take at all. 2:15 - attempted workout but too tired so stopped after 10 minutes. 3:15 - arms tense and feel like they're burning a bit. Obsessions and anxiety minimal. Tired. 4:20 - feel really relaxed. OCD still there but not super intense. This looks like a good effect at 4:20 fron 0.5mg citalopram. How do you feel today? Please continue to post daily notes. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 11, 2020 Author Share Posted November 11, 2020 Yesterday I had a good hour or two. But honestly I felt less depressed and anxious before reinstating even though my ocd is the same April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 11, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 11, 2020 You can expect your mood to go up and down. Those couple of hours are promising. You will need to stick with 0.5mg citalopram to give it a trial, maybe a week. Be sure to take it at the same time each day. We will need to see those daily notes. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 12, 2020 Author Share Posted November 12, 2020 I am really regretting reinstatement. When I fall asleep I am woken by a rush feeling throughout my body and a pounding heart. I was sleeping fine before this. My anxiety is severe and my ocd is even worse. I shake and my entire body hurts like crazy and is so stiff. I cant continue like this. I realize how much I was healing before. Is it possible to have such a bad reaction to only 0.5mg? I feel out of my mind. Also having lots of suicidal ideation. April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 13, 2020 Author Share Posted November 13, 2020 I'm having really severe anxiety all day and have lost the ability to sleep. Will that 6 day reinstatement have set me way back? I've never felt anxiety like this before April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted November 13, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 13, 2020 On 11/10/2020 at 5:59 PM, Daisygirlsk said: 7am - took 50 mg gravol and insulin and went to sleep. Hi Daisygirsk, Is this, the gravol, something you had been taking regularly? And why? I went ahead and ran a DrugInteraction Report, which you can see: Drug Interaction Report I had to put in the main ingredient, rather than the brand name. And then more on it, here, in Wikipedia: Dimenhydrinate 23 hours ago, Daisygirlsk said: I am really regretting reinstatement. When I fall asleep I am woken by a rush feeling throughout my body and a pounding heart. I was sleeping fine before this. My anxiety is severe and my ocd is even worse. I shake and my entire body hurts like crazy and is so stiff. I cant continue like this. I realize how much I was healing before. Is it possible to have such a bad reaction to only 0.5mg? I feel out of my mind. Also having lots of suicidal ideation. It's just a thought Daisygirlsk, the ideation. Do your best to recognize that. Sometimes, when in an emotional spiral, it's tough. Maybe something in the first couple of posts here will help: Dealing With Emotional Spirals Or: "Change the channel" dealing with cognitive symptoms And on November 8th, you went on up to 1 mg, with the citalopram. And now 5 days with the 0.5 mg? 2 hours ago, Daisygirlsk said: I'm having really severe anxiety all day and have lost the ability to sleep. Will that 6 day reinstatement have set me way back? I've never felt anxiety like this before No sweetie, I don't think this will set you way back. It may, again, take a few days to a week for your nervous system to settle down a bit. On 11/11/2020 at 12:52 PM, Altostrata said: You can expect your mood to go up and down. Those couple of hours are promising. You will need to stick with 0.5mg citalopram to give it a trial, maybe a week. Be sure to take it at the same time each day. We will need to see those daily notes. You did a few. Here's a sample note for a guideline and the link again. Thank you, I know it is difficult right now. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1779-keep-daily-notes-of-drug-schedule-and-symptoms-to-track-patterns- The time of day, dosage, and severity of symptoms are essential information. Include - Time and dosage for all drugs taken throughout the day, psychiatric and non-psychiatric. - Following each dose, note any symptoms. If you are having a reaction to the drug, it may take hours for a symptom to show up -- that's why we ask you to keep notes all day long. - If you're not taking any drugs, your symptoms throughout the day. - Your sleep pattern. Since so many drugs disturb sleep, if you find you're waking in the middle of the night, it could be from a drug you took earlier in the evening. If you're not taking any drugs, there may be ways you can improve your sleep.And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, looking something like this: 6 a.m. Woke with anxiety 8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro 10 a.m. Stomach is upset 10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast 11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour 12:35 p.m. Ate lunch 4 p.m. Feel a bit better 5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro 6 p.m. Ate dinner 9:20 p.m. Headache 10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel 10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy 10:30 p.m. Fell asleep 2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien") 2:45 a.m. Fell asleep 4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep 6 a.m. Woke with anxiety (but less than yesterday) And hugs. (((((Daisygirlsk))))) L, P, H, and G, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 13, 2020 Author Share Posted November 13, 2020 Thank you. I have taken gravol for many years to help me sleep. I went to the doctor today to get a note for missing work and of course he prescribed me zoloft. He says it is more of a sedating antidepressant than citalopram. My violent intrusive thoughts are so severe I can barely function April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted November 13, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 13, 2020 6 hours ago, Daisygirlsk said: I'm having really severe anxiety all day and have lost the ability to sleep. Will that 6 day reinstatement have set me way back? I've never felt anxiety like this before Daisygirlsk, Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia Take a look at some of the sleep tips ^ and let us know if anything helps. You could add in anything that helps, to your Note/symptom log too. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 14, 2020 Author Share Posted November 14, 2020 Happy to report that for the past 5 hours or more I feel back to baseline after that horrible reinstatement. I didn't know it was possible for a human to feel that anxious. April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 14, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 14, 2020 Did you stop 0.5mg? What is your baseline? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Daisygirlsk Posted November 14, 2020 Author Share Posted November 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, Altostrata said: Did you stop 0.5mg? What is your baseline? I did stop because it was making me feel way more anxious and very suicidal. My baseline is low physical anxiety, ability to concentrate, able to function at work and home, not suicidal, sleep well, stable moods. I still have a lot of ocd looping thoughts and some body pain but those are the only symptoms i have left. I had 30 originally. April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg Stopped 8 days later bad reaction November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. Increase to 1mg November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram. December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17 December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again Dec 2020 - start ativan for akathisia Nov 2020 to Jan 2021 - tried low dose Seroquel, Risperidone, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac. just added symptoms no benefit Feb 2021 - ativan went paradoxical. landed in hospital. cold turkeyed. Totally drug free since Feb 21, 2021 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 14, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 14, 2020 Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, seehttps://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/ You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you're doing. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 (edited) Hey @Daisygirlsk, Just wanna say, am so sorry you're going through this patch. I'd say, make a decision now and stick to it. You've tried the reinstatement and have come off, I'd give yourself LOADS of time to settle down again. Try to keep everything as consistent as humanly possible. A clean diet, no alcohol, no caffeine. (Haven't quite cracked the no caffeine yet as I'm British and have two big mugs of tea in the morning.) And also, this is a temporary blip. I know you've been struggling for a while, me too, it does get better.....very gradually and slowly over time. Our systems are very sensitive. I've watched your vids (if you're the person I think you are ) and you've definitely had some good windows, so chin up. You're healing. Sending good vibes from London xxx Edited November 14, 2020 by ChessieCat Removed paragraph, member notified by PM January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
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