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PennyLane26 Success Story- Protracted Paxil Withdrawal

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PennyLane26
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ADMIN NOTE Pennylane's Introductions topic is here PennyLane26: Need advice-Paxil Withdrawal

 


Happy New Year to all!  I figure today would be a great day to share my success story, and hopefully provide some hope to those struggling.  First,  my drug history:  I was put on Paxil 15 mg in May of 2012 for anxiety caused my life circumstances.  I had great "success" with the drug and then weened myself off of it a year later (at 25% intervals) in May of 2013.  I had the typical withdrawal flu symptoms, but felt pretty much back to normal in about 6 weeks.  Then 4 months later, all of my symptoms came rushing back and it terrified me, so back on 15 mg of Paxil I went.  I stayed on this dose for another a year before attempting a slower taper in January of 2016.  I got down to 5 mg at one point in this taper and was then advised my doctor to come completely off.  This is when all hell broke loose.  I had horrible withdrawal symptoms; intense insomnia, anxiety, headaches, akathesia,intense depression, depersonalization,; you name it! This continued for several months, so I re-introduced 1 mg of Paxil around May 2017.  During this time I was also prescribed Ambien because my insomnia was so bad and was exacerbating all of my symptoms.  I stayed on the 1 mg of Paxil and 5 mg of Ambien for several months and then began micro-tapering both medications until I was off both of them on November 27th, 2017.   Now, over a year later I can say I am almost completely healed and am no longer experiencing withdrawal symptoms. My withdrawal was brutal and long-lasting BUT there is a silver lining. I found meaning in this experience and it completely transformed the person I am today.

 

Now, I will go over what helped me through this dark night of the soul.  Like many of you, I spent HOURS upon hours browsing these forums and searching the internet for answers.  In May of 2017 I bought Kelly Brogan's book A Mind of Your Own and it completely changed my life.  This book helped me to understand that anxiety and depression are symptoms, not a disease.  They are messages from your body that something you are doing is not working and it is time to fix it.  So, in relative order, here is what helped me on my path to recovery:

 

1.FOOD.  I adopted a paleo lifestyle and saw dramatic improvements in my symptoms within a month   Do not put anything in your body than can cause inflammation.  Inflammation is the cause of anxiety and depression, so eating a clean diet is imperative. Giving up caffeine and alcohol is extremely important as well.  I also made sure to eat often.  Blood sugar crashes made my cortisol and anxiety shoot through the roof.

2.  Coffee enemas.  Yes, you heard that right.  They are extremely effective in eliminating toxins from the body and I had great success with them.  

3.  Meditation.  Yes, I know it is insanely difficult to meditate when your brain is on fire and it was no different for me.  But you have to find meaning in the experience, because it will change your life.  Those of us that have experienced withdrawal have seen the kind of darkness that nobody else on this Earth can ever comprehend.  Finding gratitude for this experience and your newfound appreciation for life will make things that much sweeter when you make your way into the light.

4.  Exercise- but not too much.  I have always loved high intensity exercise, but that seemed to exacerbate my withdrawal symptoms.  So, I made sure to take walks and do hot yoga several times a week to get my body moving.  Getting outside and moving was very important for me and helped to alleviate some of the intense depression I was experiencing.

5.  Reiki.  I was not a "woo woo" person at all before this experience.  But as you know, you get desperate and you will try anything and I am glad I did.  Reiki gave me peace in some of my darkest moments.  After my first session, I had my first good night of sleep in a long time and felt more at peace for days after.

6.  Stay off the internet and stimulating TV/books,etc, especially for bed.  Insomnia was hands down the worst and longest lasting symptom I experienced.  Turning off the TV two hours before bed and reading a calm book or meditating helped me to slowly get my sleep back.  I also deleted all social media for a good while because it was depressing for me to look at people living "normal" lives while I was in a silent hell.  Also, reading some of these forums can be scary and you can start comparing your experience to others.  So, I would advise only coming on to ask questions or read success stories.  

7.  Stop looking for quick fixes, like supplements, herbs, etc.  I fell into this trap and had bad reactions to many supplements, etc.  Learn to sit with your pain and trust that you absolutely will recover, because you will.  The human body is extremely intelligent and very forgiving.  But you have to give it time.  Looking for a quick fix is how much of us ended up in this situation to begin with.  Trust that your body has the ability to heal and look for meaning in your suffering. 

8.  Community.  Withdrawal can be very isolating.  Make sure you are getting rest, but also make sure you are making time to be around people when you can.  There were many times I just wanted to stay home and wallow in my misery, but I would force myself to go see my family or a friend.  I would always feel better after getting out of the house for a bit and would leave if the situation was causing my more stress.

9.   Melatonin, Magnesium and Phenbiut.  Magnesium seemed to calm me a bit (nothing drastic) and melatonin did help me to start sleeping better and get off the ambien.  I did take phenbiut about once or twice a week to "catch up" on my sleep when I would have several days of not sleeping well.  Be extremely careful with this one though, you can get addicted and experience withdrawals, so do not use more than 1-2 times a week.

 

So, here I am now 14 months medication free and I feel happy, healthy and have a newfound respect for my body and life in general.  My only lingering symptoms are from adrenal fatigue, which I know was caused by withdrawal.  I am now working with a Naturopath to correct this and am at a point where I can handle supplements, vitamins, etc.  This experience completely changed the person I am today.  I am now very careful about what I put into my body and how I take care of myself.  I have ended my relationship with western medicine and weaned myself off of birth control and acne medication over the last 6 months as well.  I am very diligent about getting to bed early and my sleep has finally gotten much better of the last several months (after addressing my adrenal issues).  My insomnia was horrible and I know how miserable it can be walking through life like a melancholy zombie.  Just know gradually it gets better and you will be able to sleep again.  Spirituality and meditation are now very important to me.  My friends and family will sometimes roll their eyes at my newfound "hippie" lifestyle, but it doesn't bother me.  They haven't seen what we have seen and the don't how precious every moment is like those of us who have suffered this kind of pain at the hands of pharmaceuticals.

 

Please reach out if you have any questions, I know what you are going through and you are not alone.  You too will make your way out out of this dark night of the soul and into the light.

 

I wish you all peace, happiness and healing in the new year!

 

 

Edited by Altostrata
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Gato123

First off, THANK YOU for sharing your experience. I am in the middle of total hell and your experience is the first one I've read that has really been "wow-someone has been through almost exactly what I've been through and has made it." I was wondering what kind of difference you noticed by going back on 1mg of Paxil? I have been contemplating whether or not to put any of these chemicals back in my body. I'm assuming you were able to get some form of liquid paxil? Again, a sincere thank you.

 

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JackieDecides
9 hours ago, PennyLane26 said:

here I am now 14 months medication free and I feel happy, healthy and have a newfound respect for my body and life in general.

 

this is such a great report, thank you for sharing it.  

 

I also read Kelly Brogan's book and was inspired, but the coffee enemas was one of the things I didn't try. do you want to talk more about how it seemed to help? 

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Gato123

I tried the coffee enemas last month. I only did it a few times. At the same time my feets were swelling really bad and I don't know if it was PMS, withdrawal, or the enemas. I didn't notice a huge difference in terms of reduction of symptoms but maybe you have to do it more than a few times? Perhaps PennyLane26 will have some ideas on this?

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Sheera

❤️❤️

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Rezten
On 1/1/2019 at 12:07 PM, PennyLane26 said:

I also deleted all social media for a good while because it was depressing for me to look at people living "normal" lives while I was in a silent hell

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I unfortunately quick tapered and now have other drugs to wean off of so my recovery may be a long time, but who knows.  You described exactly what I'm feeling and it is a silent hell.  I cant go on social media for the same reason.  

 

Thank you for your words of hope!

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PennyLane26
16 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

 

this is such a great report, thank you for sharing it.  

 

I also read Kelly Brogan's book and was inspired, but the coffee enemas was one of the things I didn't try. do you want to talk more about how it seemed to help? 

Hi Jackie-

  You are most welcome!  I am glad you found her work as well.  I too sat on the information I read in the book for a couple of months before committing to the diet.  I then hesitated another 3 months or so before FULLY committing and doing the coffee enemas, because ew...  But honestly the worst part about doing them is the first couple of times.  Once you get used to it you actually start to love them, they give you a clean/refreshing feeling.  I can't say what specifically they did to help me other than I noticed my symptoms get a little better after starting them.  Without getting too gross or graphic, you can actually see it working and yourself getting rid of toxins.  I would highly recommend giving it a try!

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PennyLane26
21 hours ago, Gato123 said:

First off, THANK YOU for sharing your experience. I am in the middle of total hell and your experience is the first one I've read that has really been "wow-someone has been through almost exactly what I've been through and has made it." I was wondering what kind of difference you noticed by going back on 1mg of Paxil? I have been contemplating whether or not to put any of these chemicals back in my body. I'm assuming you were able to get some form of liquid paxil? Again, a sincere thank you.

 

Hi Gato-

  You are so welcome, I am glad what I had to say resonated with you.  I too was searching for someone who had similar stories to mine during my darker hours.  I did get some relief after reinstating, however, I did reinstate within two months of going cold turkey and I think that made a difference.  It think the longer you wait the more likely it is that you will have an adverse reaction.  I tried reinstating again a month later to 2 mg (I think) and all of my symptoms got WAY worse, so it is a gamble.  At some point you do have to make the decision that there is no going back and just commit to seeing it through until the end.  Mindset is very important, tell yourself you WILL get better not "if's" or "but's", tell yourself it is only a matter of time.  I know it is so disheartening when you are getting better and then have a set back, but KNOWING that you will get better during these times can be so reassuring.  In the meantime, take self-care to the extreme and try to respect your body and the process.  Let me know if you have any other questions and hang in there!

 

PS.   I didn't use liquid paxil, I bought scale of Amazon and did my own measuring, which I know is not recommended!

 

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PennyLane26
1 hour ago, Rezten said:

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I unfortunately quick tapered and now have other drugs to wean off of so my recovery may be a long time, but who knows.  You described exactly what I'm feeling and it is a silent hell.  I cant go on social media for the same reason.  

 

Thank you for your words of hope!

Hi Retzen-

  Yes, I know how depressing it can be seeing everyone living happy "normal" lives while you are struggling.  I also know how daunting it can be when you are on multiple medications and just want to be free of all of them.  I have tapered off of 4 meds in the last two years and it is amazing how fast time goes (in hindsight of course).  Just try to keep moving forward and have a positive mindset and not compare yourself to other people.  You will get through this and you will be better for it.  I honestly think this happens to all of us for a reason, you will have such an appreciation for your life after it is all said and done!  Let me know if you need anything in the meantime and hand in there!

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Rezten

@PennyLane26 how did you get through those dark days?  I can barely leave the house although I force myself, the past 2 weeks I'm almost non stop crying and have called the crisis line several times.  Were you ever at that point?

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PennyLane26

Hi Retzen-

  I am so sorry to hear you are struggling so much!  Yes, the second time I tried to reinstate (June of 2017) I hit a BAD low.  I was suppose to go with my family on vacation to Alaska but I couldn't get out of bed and told them I wasn't going.  My family and boyfriend were really worried about me and didn't know what to do to help me.  I self medicated with alcohol and was taking Ambien in a desperate attempt to get sleep ( DO NOT recommend this).  This was the exact moment I decided to make the commitment to heal.  I went full paleo and started taking really good care of myself.  I spent my time researching nutrition and what I thought would help my body rather than looking at forums and reading other people's scary stories.  Just know that it is not you, it is what the drugs did to you and it WILL pass.  That's great that you made yourself get outside, that definitely helps.  My boyfriend forced me to go outside and help him with gardening during this time and it did help a bit.  If you don't mind me asking, what other self care measures are you taking and what is your diet like? 

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Rezten
1 minute ago, PennyLane26 said:

If you don't mind me asking, what other self care measures are you taking and what is your diet like? 

My self care includes walks, lots of prayer, going to church.  I recently realized my body cant handle food the same way so I am doing a low histimine diet.  Within a few days of that my heart palpitations went away, my throat wasnt as swollen, my brain dysfunction not as intense and sleep has improved.  

Right now I'm in a wave of intense emotions and nausea that I though had left but has come back but not as bad.

 

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PennyLane26

That is great that you are taking the steps to take care of yourself.  It is very frustrating when symptoms come back, but that is just part of the process.  Try to care of yourself and let go of the feeling that you need to do something when it gets bad.  Sometimes you just need time to heal.  I hope you get to feeling better soon, I am sending you positive thoughts and prayers!

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PennyLane26
On 1/2/2019 at 3:44 AM, Gato123 said:

I tried the coffee enemas last month. I only did it a few times. At the same time my feets were swelling really bad and I don't know if it was PMS, withdrawal, or the enemas. I didn't notice a huge difference in terms of reduction of symptoms but maybe you have to do it more than a few times? Perhaps PennyLane26 will have some ideas on this?

Hmm that is strange about swelling, maybe dehydration?  Yes, I would try to do them daily for a month, that is what Kelly Brogan suggests.  I think it took a few weeks before I started feeling the positive effects.  I still do them almost daily as I am now detoxing from birth control.  Even if you don't feel a significant reduction in symptoms, I would try to stick with them since they are so effective at eliminating toxins from the body.  Hope that helps!

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RedRobin123

Thank you for sharing your success story. I am in my 8th month of withdrawal from Abilify. I did a slow taper but have had a very hard time. I had a heart attack in Sept. which has made everything worse. Your story gave me so much hope. I am trying to get out more and walk everyday. I will take your advise and limit my reading to uplifting stories. I am looking forward to the day I wake up and do not have anxiety. Again thank you. You helped me get through today.

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PennyLane26
6 hours ago, RedRobin123 said:

Thank you for sharing your success story. I am in my 8th month of withdrawal from Abilify. I did a slow taper but have had a very hard time. I had a heart attack in Sept. which has made everything worse. Your story gave me so much hope. I am trying to get out more and walk everyday. I will take your advise and limit my reading to uplifting stories. I am looking forward to the day I wake up and do not have anxiety. Again thank you. You helped me get through today.

RedRobin-

 you are so very welcome. I am terribly sorry to hear about your hard withdrawal and heart attack. I’m sure things can only start looking up for you! You will heal and will be writing your very own success story before you know it. Take extra special care of yourself and I will be sending you plenty

of positive thoughts!

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PH1

PennyLane,

Thank you for sharing your success story.   By sharing your experience you are giving everyone much hope.  Sounds like once you tapered very slowly you experienced success.   

I agree that diet is so important.   I know when I eat better (for me it is avoiding sugar and alcohol) I feel much better and set myself up for better healing.

All the best to you in 2019.  God bless you!

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TreeElf

Beautiful. Thank you ❤️

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xena81

PennyLane26, thank you so much for sharing your story and providing us with ways that helped you to get better. I was just talking to my parents today and I cried telling them that I fearI will be in this horrible emotional pain,  feeling sadness, and emptiness for the rest of my life. Fortunately, a lot of people like you say it will get better, so I try to focus on the positive picturing myself coming out of the darkness into the light instead of thinking this will be my life forever like I do most days.  I liked how you described the feelings of despair and extreme emotional pain as the "kind of darkness that nobody else on this Earth can ever comprehend".

On 1/1/2019 at 12:07 PM, PennyLane26 said:

Those of us that have experienced withdrawal have seen the kind of darkness that nobody else on this Earth can ever comprehend.

 

I was so close to giving in in August of 2018. I had a plan to end my life, but I have a 10 year old son who depends on me, I am all he has. I believe, that if it was not for him, I might have been gone! My doctor got me of my sertraline  too fast and I experienced brutal withdrawals. I tried to talk about the darkness to one of my friends, who has never experienced depression, and she pretty much scolded me and told me that I have so much going on for me, things that other people would want, but I don't appreciate it and I should either go back on sertraline or give up my child if I am not fit to care for him being suicidal.  She obviously does not know that none of that matters when all you feel is extreme emotional pain, emptiness and despair.  I no longer speak with her. At least throughout this experience, I cut out all the toxic people out of my life and try my best to keep myself as stable as possible and surround myself with only with positive, supportive friends.

I have also spent hours researching the internet and took all kinds of supplements that made my symptoms so much worse. I had an extreme anxiety because I was taking both rhodiola rosea and l-tyrosine. I had no idea, I thought I was doing good things trying so hard to repair my poor body. I now only take magnesium, and fish oil and my anxiety is at a tolerable level. 

Recently, I started to push even my good friends to myself and started to keep to myself, which made things so much worse, and I ended up crying most of the day in pain. Thank you for the advice to be social. I will try my best to push myself to see friends even if I do not feel like it. 

I have already adjusted my diet to pretty much raw all natural foods, cut out sugar and eat frequently to keep my blood sugar steady. I have also noticed that I get very anxious if my blood sugar drops low. And starting meditation is next.  I am still in school pursuing my bachelors degree in cybersecurity. I graduate this May and I plan to spend more time on myself and keep up with mediation when I have more free time. Thank you again, for sharing your story and the helpful tips. I really appreciate it!!! This site has been a life saver for me!!! 

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PennyLane26
52 minutes ago, xena81 said:

PennyLane26, thank you so much for sharing your story and providing us with ways that helped you to get better. I was just talking to my parents today and I cried telling them that I fearI will be in this horrible emotional pain,  feeling sadness, and emptiness for the rest of my life. Fortunately, a lot of people like you say it will get better, so I try to focus on the positive picturing myself coming out of the darkness into the light instead of thinking this will be my life forever like I do most days.  I liked how you described the feelings of despair and extreme emotional pain as the "kind of darkness that nobody else on this Earth can ever comprehend".

 

I was so close to giving in in August of 2018. I had a plan to end my life, but I have a 10 year old son who depends on me, I am all he has. I believe, that if it was not for him, I might have been gone! My doctor got me of my sertraline  too fast and I experienced brutal withdrawals. I tried to talk about the darkness to one of my friends, who has never experienced depression, and she pretty much scolded me and told me that I have so much going on for me, things that other people would want, but I don't appreciate it and I should either go back on sertraline or give up my child if I am not fit to care for him being suicidal.  She obviously does not know that none of that matters when all you feel is extreme emotional pain, emptiness and despair.  I no longer speak with her. At least throughout this experience, I cut out all the toxic people out of my life and try my best to keep myself as stable as possible and surround myself with only with positive, supportive friends.

I have also spent hours researching the internet and took all kinds of supplements that made my symptoms so much worse. I had an extreme anxiety because I was taking both rhodiola rosea and l-tyrosine. I had no idea, I thought I was doing good things trying so hard to repair my poor body. I now only take magnesium, and fish oil and my anxiety is at a tolerable level. 

Recently, I started to push even my good friends to myself and started to keep to myself, which made things so much worse, and I ended up crying most of the day in pain. Thank you for the advice to be social. I will try my best to push myself to see friends even if I do not feel like it. 

I have already adjusted my diet to pretty much raw all natural foods, cut out sugar and eat frequently to keep my blood sugar steady. I have also noticed that I get very anxious if my blood sugar drops low. And starting meditation is next.  I am still in school pursuing my bachelors degree in cybersecurity. I graduate this May and I plan to spend more time on myself and keep up with mediation when I have more free time. Thank you again, for sharing your story and the helpful tips. I really appreciate it!!! This site has been a life saver for me!!! 

Hi Xena-

 You are very welcome. I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I am very glad you didn’t go through with your plan back in August, your son and loved ones would have been devastated. I had bad thoughts about wanting to end things too, but you have to keep telling yourself this state of mind is caused by the drugs. It’s isnt you and it isn’t permanent. Mindsight is so important, every day tell yourself this is only temporary and you are going to heal. Whether it takes a few months or a few years. It will happen. Just keep telling yourself that it is a fact and eventually it will become true. 

 

I understand trying to tell people who don’t understand, that happened to me too. I found that people got less sympathetic as time wore on and they didn’t understand how I could STILL be withdrawling. I hated having to defend it and constantly explain myself. You did exactly the right thing, cut out people who are toxic and surround yourself with positive people only. And yes, try to see people as much as you can. Even if it’s only once a week for a few hours, it will help get your mind off things. Meditation will be great for you. Try to look at this experience as a sort of spiritual awakening. You have to go through the dark night of the soul to come out on the other side. 

 

I will send you many positive thoughts and I wish you the best on finishing school and staying strong for your son!

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xena81

Thank you so much for your positive and encouraging words and your positive thoughts. It means so much to me!!!!! 

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Altostrata

Thanks, PennyLane.

 

Please update your signature with the date you finally went off Paxil (and Ambien?).

 

Looking back, what do you think reinstating 1mg Paxil did for you? How difficult was it to finally go off?

 

Do you have any residual symptoms now?

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PennyLane26
21 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Thanks, PennyLane.

 

Please update your signature with the date you finally went off Paxil (and Ambien?).

 

Looking back, what do you think reinstating 1mg Paxil did for you? How difficult was it to finally go off?

 

Do you have any residual symptoms now?

 

Hi Alto-

I will update my signature!  Reinstating helped with the high cortisol/anxiety I felt at the beginning of withdrawal. However, when I tried to reinstate again up to 2 mg a month later I had a horrible reaction and went back down to 1 mg. 

 

My residual symptoms are all related to adrenal fatigue. Withdrawling for so long really took a toll on my adrenal glands and I am still trying to recover from that. I get stressed out easy and then it is hard for me to come down once the cortisol starts surging. My sleep isn’t perfect either, my last couple of hours of sleep are very shallow and I wake easily. But I am managing 8-8.5 hours on average and I will take that any day over the crazy insomnia I had at the beginning!

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FarmGirlWorks
On 1/2/2019 at 11:50 AM, PennyLane26 said:

I know it is so disheartening when you are getting better and then have a set back, but KNOWING that you will get better during these times can be so reassuring.  In the meantime, take self-care to the extreme and try to respect your body and the process. 

Thank you so, so much, @PennyLane26! Browsing successes and glad to read a different one. I had a 2-week window recently and going back to a dark wave is so disheartening. I thought I was healed. Thanks for the reminder to know that permanent recovery is coming. In the meantime, I will def meditate more and get up earlier. Tried the coffee enemas (read Brogan's book too) but only did a couple.

 

On 1/2/2019 at 12:52 PM, Rezten said:

so I am doing a low histimine diet.  Within a few days of that my heart palpitations went away, my throat wasnt as swollen, my brain dysfunction not as intense and sleep has improved.

Interesting, @Rezten. I started getting looser about not eating low histamine foods and gluten during the window and my throat was so swollen that I made a doctor appointment last week; by the time I went, I was back to low histamine/gluten and the swelling had decreased. Had not made this connection.

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Rezten
7 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:
On 1/2/2019 at 3:52 PM, Rezten said:

 

Interesting, @Rezten. I started getting looser about not eating low histamine foods and gluten during the window

It's amazing how sensitive our bodies can be.  I used to be able to eat anything before.  Maybe someday I will again.  Glad you had a nice window.  My windows are short lived and right now I feel I'm in a pretty bad wave.  Very depressed and discouraged.

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GirlfromD

Congratulations PennyLane26❤️ And thank you for sharing your story and giving hope. My family roll their eyes at me too sometimes, because of my newfound "very healthy" lifestyle 😄 

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Gato123

Hi Penny Lane,

 

A quick question: when you say the symptoms came back around month 4 would you mind 1) elaborating on what those symptoms were? 2) how long did you wait until you went back on Paxil?thank you!

 

 

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PennyLane26
6 hours ago, Gato123 said:

Hi Penny Lane,

 

A quick question: when you say the symptoms came back around month 4 would you mind 1) elaborating on what those symptoms were? 2) how long did you wait until you went back on Paxil?thank you!

 

 

Hi Gato-

 Sure! I started having intense insomnia and really bad anxiety. I think it was only a few weeks to a month before I went back on Paxil. In hindsight, it was most likely withdrawal and I wish I hadn’t gone back on. But you live and you learn. Let me know if you have any other questions!

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Gato123

Thanks for the quick response! Actually a couple more come to mind. Thanks for your patience and tome. You are the first person who I feel has a lot of very very helpful experience. 

 

1) so all hell didn’t break loose until you tried to stop the second time? You had gone back on 15 mg after a scare and it was the second taper that you experienced hell? 

1.a. Was it almost immediately the extreme symptoms came on?  Or were they delayed? 

1.b.  You mentioned that you tolerated the extreme withdrawal for a few months before going on 1 mg of Paxil. During those hell months did you  see any signs that you were improving? 

1.c. I know this will be pure speculation but in hindsight do you think if you “stuck it out” without reinstating the 1 mg that you would have seen improvement/been able to heal?

2.  What was the biggest improvement that you noticed when you reinstated 1 mg? Did you experience any negatives to reinstating?

3.  When you micro tapered, was it still incredibly difficult at times with the withdrawal?

4. What are the major signs of your adrenal fatigue?

 

Again I want to thank you so much for your time. I’ve  felt so alone in this for so long not able to even talk to a doctor and you’ve offered so much hope so again thank you so much.

 

 

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PennyLane26
5 hours ago, Gato123 said:

Thanks for the quick response! Actually a couple more come to mind. Thanks for your patience and tome. You are the first person who I feel has a lot of very very helpful experience. 

 

1) so all hell didn’t break loose until you tried to stop the second time? You had gone back on 15 mg after a scare and it was the second taper that you experienced hell? 

1.a. Was it almost immediately the extreme symptoms came on?  Or were they delayed? 

1.b.  You mentioned that you tolerated the extreme withdrawal for a few months before going on 1 mg of Paxil. During those hell months did you  see any signs that you were improving? 

1.c. I know this will be pure speculation but in hindsight do you think if you “stuck it out” without reinstating the 1 mg that you would have seen improvement/been able to heal?

2.  What was the biggest improvement that you noticed when you reinstated 1 mg? Did you experience any negatives to reinstating?

3.  When you micro tapered, was it still incredibly difficult at times with the withdrawal?

4. What are the major signs of your adrenal fatigue?

 

Again I want to thank you so much for your time. I’ve  felt so alone in this for so long not able to even talk to a doctor and you’ve offered so much hope so again thank you so much.

 

 

1.  Yes, correct.  I had already been off Paxil for 4 months before any symptoms came back, so it wasn't as bad.  Plus, I hadn't been on Paxil as long the first time. 

1a. It took a couple of weeks for the symptoms to come from what I remember.

1b.  I don't think I gave it enough time to see improvement.  I can't really remember if there were improvements, I am sure my symptoms were ebbing and flowing as they do.

1c.  Absolutely.  I don't think you have to reinstate to get better.  It may take a little longer to heal, OR it may not.  I tried reinstating a second time, to go up to 2 mg two months after the 1mg reinstatement and THAT was even worse than the initial withdrawal.  I got really bad after the second attempt, so it is really a crap chute.  You could end up getting worse if you try to reinstate, I think how long you have been off is a big factor of whether or not it will go well for you.

2.  The biggest thing I noticed was that my constant cortisol surges seemed to go down a bit.  BUT I still had that ongoing high cortisol/anxiety feeling even after the reinstatement, it just seemed a little less severe.

3.  I had the typical "waves and windows" pattern with microtapering.  I don't actually know if micortapering is the right word.  I think I was still tapering 5-10%, but the dose was so small that I was taking tiny bits of the drug at the very end.  I definitely didn't have any drastic changes in symptoms, like when I first went off.

4.  My main issue is that my adrenals were SO taxed for a year+ that they now have a hard time regulating my cortisol levels.  So, when I get stressed I feel it more intensely than I should and the feeling lasts longer than it should.  I still have that high cortisol feeling quite frequently, the biggest difference is I don't have the mental anguish that comes with withdrawal.  It takes a long time to truly get back to 100%, so you just have to be patient.  I am still working towards that but the mental part is so much better and for me that was definitely the worse part of withdrawal.  Now I feel like everything is going to be okay and I don't freak out if I have a less-than-perfect day.

 

Hope that helps, let me know what other questions you have!

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Gato123

Thank you so much!!!!!! 

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PennyLane26

You are so welcome Gato.  You got this!

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Gato123

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Goosie

Hi penny lane.  Thanks for the success story.  How long did your insomnia last?   I have had 8 months of horrible debilitating suicidal insomnia and it shows no signs of letting up.   

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johnson

Hi Penny, 

 

I just had a question, how did recovery happen for you? Was it gradual over time or did you suddenly wake up one day and instantly feel better? Thanks

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Gato123

That’s a great question. I’m curious too. 

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