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Almu: Seroxat / Paxil withdrawal - they never told me it would get this bad

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Hello everyone,


first of all, I wanna thank everyone in this forum for giving me hope and for making me feel less alone. After being AD free for exactly 3 weeks today, I decided to create my own profile so I could tell my story and update you on my journey towards recovery. 


Let's start with the basics: female, mid-twenties, working and studying at the same time. I've suffered from anxiety and panic issues my whole life, so I guess it wasn't a surprise when I finally developed OCD when I was a teenager (health related obsessions are my the most persisting obsessions, so I guess you could say I suffer from hypochondria as well). Specialists have 'officially' diagnosed me with OCD, anxiety disorder (not specified which one apart from OCD) and, as of late, depression (but we'll get to that in a minute).


July 2015 I was prescribed Seroxat 20 mg (Paxil) because I was severely impaired due to my anxiety disorder and OCD. It seemed to work like magic! Life was so much better for a year or so: my obsessions returned to being just thoughts that I could easily ignore, I hung out with friends and family a lot more, I could get outside of my house without feeling panicky, my work life was SO much better, I didn't feel as anxious... I didn't suffer from any major side effects, apart from weight gain. 


My psychiatrist never warned me that coming off the meds would be so hard. He never mentioned withdrawal, or discontinuation syndrome. I expressed him my concerns about being on the drug for a long time (my common sense told me you aren't supposed to be on this medication for a long period of time). He asked me if I was having any major side effects from taking it, I said no, he said: "then why the hurry? you will be able to come off of it once you're feeling better." *sigh* So I took it for 3 years...

I went to him one other time to tell him that, whenever I missed my dose for one day, I'd get really weird head sensations that I'd never experienced before (now I know it's the famous BRAIN ZAPS!), alongside nausea. He said that this was a normal thing that happens when you stop taking the medication, but he said I was probably very sensitive to Seroxat and that's why it happened after only one day of not taking it. Since my symptoms went away once I took my normal dose again, I never thought much of it. 


So, fast forward to February 2018: I was sick and tired of taking meds. Yes, I wasn't feeling especially bad while being on them, but I just had the feeling that I'd been taking them for long enough and I genuinely thought it wouldn't make a difference on my mental health to stop taking them, since I felt stable (albeit a bit anxious, that's why i thought meds weren't doing anything anymore). I wasn't living in the same country anymore, so seeing my psychiatrist wasn't possible. Now, this is the part where I understand I messed up: I started tapering, but I did it as I pleased, basically. I know now that this was EXTREMELY irresponsible. I wish I had informed myself better, and I also wish my doctor hadn't given me the impression that SSRI's are not difficult to get off. 


I didn't follow a schedule, I just tried listening to my body: I went from taking 20mg each day, to taking 20 mg one day, 10 mg the next, then 20 mg. the next (I don't know if I'm explaining myself: for example; Monday 20 mg, Tuesday 10 mg, Wed. 20 mg, Thursday, 10 mg... and so on). Once I was done doing it (I did indeed feel a bit more anxious and suffered from brain zaps and nausea for a while, but it went away), I reduced the meds again and took 20 mg. every other day. I followed this last routine for at least 3/4 months and, even though I felt worse, it was still manageable. I suffered from nausea, derealization and brain zaps for a while, but they eventually went away.


July 2018 (5/6 months after 'tapering') I decided to take it to the next level: I'd take 10 mg. every day. After 2 weeks of following that routine, I took 10 mg. every other day. Now, that was the point when withdrawal showed its ugly head: derealization, panic attacks, anxiety for no reason, obsessions, brain zaps, nausea and nightmares begun. This was end july-beginning of august. I went back on them (10 mg. a day), and symptoms definitely alleviated. A month later, I tried again - I tried stopping taking them completely at a point in my life where I had a lot of changes coming up (moving countries, change in job, last year of uni, quitting birth control meds...), and that's when hell broke loose. I now feel so bad about it, I wish I had made things differently :( I don't understand how I could act so irresponsibly. 


What happened was, I suffered a major OCD relapse, anxiety was present 24/7. I tried going on Seroxat again, 20 mg. for a month, following my psychiatrists orders (I was back in my country, so I contacted him immediately). It didn't seem to work (although my nightmares stopped). This relapse was so bad I started suffering from really bad depression. My psychiatrist told me to be patient. He said Seroxat would start working at some point. After a month of taking Seroxat and seeing no improvement, my new therapist suggested I started treatment with this other psychiatrist. I was so desperate, I went to see him. 


After hearing my whole story, this new psych. told me that Seroxat wasn't working for me anymore. He prescribed Sertraline/Zoloft (100 mg.). I followed his instructions, and so I went from 20 mg. of Seroxat daily, to 10 mg. daily for a week, then stopping it completely the next. I started Zoloft 50 mg. while tapering off Seroxat. After one week, I went from 50 mg. Zoloft to 100. IT WAS HELL: agitation, panic attacks (yes, even more panic attacks!), vivid dreams (I had never experienced something like that before, EVER), suicidal ideation (sorry)... those were the most prominent symptoms. I waited a month to see if it improved: it never did, even though I tried everything - changing the time I took the meds, taking a lower dose (all of this by doctor's orders). 


He finally told me that Zoloft wasn't working for me either, and told me to taper off of it (quickly...). He then said to wait for a week without any meds to see how I was feeling. After I week I'd start taking Fluvoxamine / Luvox (yet another med!). 

This was 4 weeks ago. 3 weeks ago I completely went off the meds, as instructed, and never dared to try fluvoxamine. I've already gone through enough. I feel so upset because no doctor actually thinks this is real. Yes, he told me AD discontinuation happens, and yes, he said Paxil is one of the harder drugs to quit, but he said the discontinuation syndrome would only last for 3 or 4 days! How delusional can they be? :(  I told my doctor about this, expressed him my concerns about still being in withdrawal and he said that I should try going back to Seroxat, 5 mg. I still haven't followed his advice. What do you think I should do? I'm already 3 weeks in recovery from AD...


So, how do I feel now? Here's a list of my main symptoms


  • When I stopped taking Seroxat and I begun taking Sertraline, daily vivid dreams started. My doctor thought it was a side effect of taking Zoloft, but I believe it's a side effect from Seroxat withdrawal, since I already had a taste of them when I tried tapering off of Seroxat a few months prior to this. Also, I did cross taper, so I started taking Sertraline when I was weaning myself off Seroxat. I still suffer from them almost every day. I wake up with an emotional hungover that lasts for hours. 
  • I sometimes hear loud sounds that aren't really there while drifting off to sleep or when I wake up. Sounds like bangs, alarm clocks... Doctor says it's stress, I say it's withdrawal. 
  • Nocturnal panic attacks / panic in dreams: I wake up with my heart racing and a feeling of impending doom (I take a small dose of a benzodiazepine most nights to help me sleep at least a little. I know it's not the best thing to do, but I had no other choice, believe me.) This had never happened to me before all of this withdrawal process. 
  • Fewer hours of sleep. It's not drastic, but I do sleep fewer hours. 6 hours a day more or less. 
  • Brain zaps. These were most intense during the first week and a half of quitting Sertraline. I still have them, but they aren't as intense and the frequency has also decreased A LOT (like 70%). 
  • Feeling dizzy. This symptom is the one that bothers me the least. It happens rarely and the intensity is low. It started happening to me on week 2. 
  • Hyperarousal. This, alongside vivid dreaming, is the worst symptom for me. This manifests itself in the form of agitation, suddenly feeling panicky, feeling the adrenaline inside my body all of a sudden.
  • Increased obsessions. This is basically my OCD coming back, full force. 
  • Irritability. I become aggresive for absolutely NO reason! I don't act on those feelings, of course, but I sometimes scream at people or give them a bad attitude because of stupid reasons. I immediately apologize like a minute later, because I know I overreacted. 
  • Mood swings - including crying spells, intense feelings of depression and hopelessness. 


I am experiencing windows and waves at this point, to be honest. I didn't think it was really a thing until I started experiencing it for myself. This gives me hope... 


What am I doing to help myself?


  • I'm starting meditation.
  • I'm also starting EFT tapping.
  • I'm trying to slowly eat healthier.
  • I'm moving my body for at least 45 min. a day (gentle exercising, such as swimming slowly or walking).
  • I've tried acupuncture... I'm unsure of its efficacy. 


Thank you so much for reading my story. I'm so grateful for this site.


If you have any questions, I'm here for you :)






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Hi Almu and welcome to SA,


Not many medical professionals know about tapering and withdrawal which is why this site exists.


I suggest you read this topic:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take


I will provide more information in the next post.


SA recommends tapering by no more than 10% of the current dose followed by a hold of about 4 weeks to allow the brain to adapt to not getting as much of the drug.  Why taper by 10% of my dosage?



When the drug is taken away too quickly we can get withdrawal symptoms:  Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms


Alternating or skipping doses is not recommended.  The brain likes consistency.  Skipping Days vs Every Day Dosing Graph


Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ


When reinstating a drug, because your nervous system can become unstable because of withdrawal symptoms, we recommend a small dose.  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms


When you change drugs you can end up with withdrawal symptoms from the old drug and start up/side effects/adverse reaction from the new drug.  It will be difficult to know what is causing any issues.


Please create your drug signature using the following format.   Keep it simple.  NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you.

  • details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
  • summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature



This is your own introductions topic where your can ask questions about your own situation and journal your progress.

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Recovery isn't linear it happens in a Windows and Waves Pattern


When we take a psychiatric drug, we are adding chemical/s to the brain.  The brain then has to change to adapt to getting the chemical/s.  It might have to change something to do with A and then once that change has been made it affects B so another change has to be made and so on down the line.  It is a chain reaction, a domino effect.  That's why it's possible to experience such a vast array of withdrawal symptoms, and they can change, and be of different intensity.


The same thing happens when we take the drug away.  These explain it really well:


Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery




On 8/31/2011 at 5:28 AM, Rhiannon said:

When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.




On 12/4/2015 at 2:41 AM, apace41 said:

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.  



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Thank you so much for the information, ChessieCat. I had already seen most of the posts you had linked :) I especially like the video that talks about the patterns of recovery. Gives me hope.


I will keep this thread updated. So far I've been experiencing the same symptoms: brain zaps (it's weird, right now they don't get triggered by eye movement, they just happen randomly...), intense dreaming and oh, i forgot: derealization and depersonalization. 

Not feeling so bad mood-wise. 

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You're welcome.  Sounds like you've been doing a lot of hunting around the forum.


Thank you for completing your signature.  Please add the date you started the Bromazepam.


It has only been about 3-4 weeks since you quit the Paxil so there is a good chance that reinstatement of a small amount would be successful.  These drugs are strong and when we get withdrawal symptoms are nervous system can become sensitive.  You could try 1mg and see if that helps.  The idea of reinstatement isn't to get rid of the symptoms completely but to reduce the to a bearable level.


Please note that withdrawal symptoms may get worse.  The sooner you reinstate the better chance there is of reinstatement working.


It is better to start with a small amount of the drug than to risk taking too much.  You can always increase by small amounts.  If you do reinstate please keep daily symptoms notes on paper.  It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.

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Thank you again, ChessieCat. To be honest, I think it's too late to reinstate the Paxil. I quit taking it over 2 months ago (it got replaced by sertraline, which didn't make me feel good AT ALL). I'll weather the storm, I guess. I'm praying this doesn't last very long. Things are already better compared to how things were when I quit Paxil completely. 


I'm not feeling great today. I'm having tons of phychological symptoms: anxiety, desperation, irritability, weird dreams... Fortunately, my depression seems to have lifted a little bit. 

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It's been exactly 1 month since I stopped taking ANY antidepressant and... what the hell?! I'm getting BRAIN ZAPS again?! I stopped having them after a week and a half of quitting sertraline. I only got them very occasionally after that, but I've been getting them more intensely and insistently since yesterday. Can anyone please explain this? It's frustrating!

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I keep having brain zaps. I don't know why, I find them very irritating. I've found that, whenever I'm not going through days of high anxiety, brain zaps come. I also get a strange feeling in my head, similar to brain zaps, that I've only gotten sometime before in the past while in the middle of trying to wake up when I'm lucid dreaming, so that's weird. It's like my brain moves inside my skull. Weird... I wonder what really happens inside our brains during recovery...


I told my psychiatrist about the brain zaps and he told me "they should've already disappeared". It's been 5 weeks since I stopped taking any medication. I'm gonna have a serious talk with him this week. Fingers crossed he takes me seriously. I really can't believe he hasn't had any other patient with a similar issue...


On another note: My depression is slowly getting better, with some crappy days, but in general I feel like my mood is lifting. 

I still need benzos to sleep somewhat normally. When I don't take benzos I still get constant crazy dreams (intense, very detailed, weird dreams), although they're a bit less intense. Just a bit haha. That's the thing I miss most about my old self: sleeping normally. I had never had trouble sleeping, even during my worst moments of anxiety before SSRI's, before quitting Seroxat.


My anxiety and panic is through the roof while I'm PMSing, but this is somewhat common for me, even before taking SSRI's. 


I also smell things that are not there? I'm constantly smelling things like tobacco, gasoline... weird. Again: this happened to me on a regular basis before (I remember having them when I was very young), but they're much more intense and constant now. 


Another symptoms that I get: Intense derealization, irritability, skipped beats or high heart rate. My OCD is really bad, but it was to be expected.


Anyways, I think that's all for today haha 

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Brain zaps are withdrawal syndrome. Despite what your psychiatrist and those like him all over the world believe, withdrawal syndrome can last for many months. Very few physicians know anything about tapering or withdrawal syndrome.


2 hours ago, Almu said:

I also smell things that are not there? I'm constantly smelling things like tobacco, gasoline... weird. Again: this happened to me on a regular basis before (I remember having them when I was very young), but they're much more intense and constant now. 


Another symptoms that I get: Intense derealization, irritability, skipped beats or high heart rate. My OCD is really bad, but it was to be expected. 


^ More withdrawal symptoms.


As some of your other symptoms are getting better, you might try fish oil and magnesium supplements, see



Many people find them helpful to reduce brain zaps. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.


On the other hand, if you find withdrawal symptoms to be intolerable, you might consider reinstating a very small amount of Prozac, such as 0.5mg to start, to substitute for the other SSRIs, Paxil and Zoloft, you went off. We recommend a very small dosage to avoid kindling in a nervous system sensitized by withdrawal.


Prozac comes in a liquid by prescription, or you can make your own liquid to take a small dose, see Tips for tapering off Prozac (fluoxetine)


You'd stabilize on this and taper off by minute amounts later.


Please let us know how you're doing.


PS Please look into natural means to manage the PMS.

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Hi, everyone.


It's been 8 weeks without taking any antidepressants already, and I want to give you guys an update (last time I posted something was 3 weeks ago).

But first of all I want to thank Altostrata for taking some time to answer. I've been taking vegan Omega 3 (I don't eat meat or fish) and magnesium citrate. I don't know for sure, but I believe it's somewhat helping. But more about natural supplementation now...


I told you I had an appointment with my doctor. That was almost 3 weeks ago. Well, I told him about the brain zaps, about the intense dreaming, the depersonalization, irritability and anxiety, the stomach pain, other physical symptoms such as skipped beats... he really listened. In fact, he told me he'd be lying if he told me people can't get prolonged withdrawal symptoms. He said that, based on his experience, it's not what happens with most of his patients, but that it does and can happen (he's had numerous cases of prolonged withdrawal himself, 3 of them lasting more than 2 years). He was very honest, and I appreciate it so much. He told me he can't tell me when the withdrawal will stop. I appreciate the honesty in that as well. 


So, after almost an hour of conversation, he told me that he thinks that I'm going through prolonged withdrawal, combined with some relapse in my OCD due to big life changes. I think that's fair. He prescribed natural remedies, and I've been taking them since (I'm on day 18 or 19 already of taking them). I've added some other supplements to the mix myself.


So, what am I taking / what am I doing to feel better?


  • Vitamin D3 - low levels of Vitamin D3 can potentially affect depression. I believe that was the case for me. I had very low levels of vitamin D, and this vitamin supplement was prescribed to me by a doctor. 
  • Magnesium citrate: 200 mg a day (preferably at night). I also take Epsom salt baths (which is basically magnesium) in hot water, but I only do it once every two weeks. I want to do it more regularly. It helps me with sleeping, with muscle relaxation... doesn't help me that much with skipped beats, though. When I'm done with my magnesium citrate, I'll start taking Magnesium Chelate, which is supposedly better due to its higher bioavailability. 
  • I take probiotics 3 times a day, before each meal. It's a bit tiresome, having to take it every day x3. I haven't seen much improvement, but I'm supposed to give it a bit more time. I'll keep you updated. If anyone has more tips on how to improve gut health, I'd be happy to read them :)
  • Talking about the gut: the thing that has worked the best for me is having a good DIET. I notice the changes in my mood and energy almost right away, and it helps with my stomach issues, as well as with my heart issues! Good diet and exercise have helped me with my skipped beats tremendously, to be honest. Some ectopics beats are said to happen because of the heart-gut connection, and I believe this is the case for me. I'm eating a bit less, and I'm incorporated tons of green smoothies into my diet. I like to eat plant-based with very little refined oils (I eat nuts and seeds, though :)!), as well as I try to avoid pure fruit juices, sodas, and carbonated drinks. I try (but not always succeed) not to eat refined carbs or sugars. The days I do this, I feel SO MUCH BETTER
  • I take melatonin, passiflora and valerian root at night. It's a natural pill that you take 30 minutes before going to bed. It helps tons! 
  • I also take a natural remedy which contains valerian, passiflora and hawthorn... I dillute it in water every night and it works very well, but it makes you very sleepy, so I can't take it during the day. Hawthorn helps with high blood pressure, just in case anyone is interested. 
  • I take 1 capsule of vegan omega 3 every day (contains seaweed and flaxseed oil).
  • 1 capsule of saffron a day (30 mg of saffron). It's also supposed to help with depression (many studies have proven it).
  • Exercise - I walk to and back from work 3 times a week. I walk up stairs, and go to the gym once a week. It helps!
  • I do light stretches (20 minutes) every day at home, sometimes even yoga. 
  • Weekly CBT with exposure therapy. 
  • I do my therapy exercises every day. 
  • Non natural medication: I take a benzodiazepine at its lowest dose 1 a day before bed. 

So, how am I feeling now?


  • Depression-like feelings and suicidal ideation: it has significantly decreased. It keeps on decreasing. I only get a bad depressive day 1 a week now, compared to the constant every day depression that I used to go through every day after quitting Paxil. 
  • I have more energy, therefore I can work more on CBT and my therapy exercises, which in turn makes me feel even better.
  • Constant anxiety: it has also decreased in these past 3 weeks. I'd say it has decreased around a 30%, which makes a difference. 
  • I tend to sleep better, although some days are better than others: I can sleep for 8 hours straight some days, and my vivid dreams aren't as vivid. Sleep quality has improved another 30%, I'd say. 
  • Skipped beats and palpitations: reduced generally by another 30 or 40%, I'd say 
  • OCD: still full blown.
  • Depersonalization: has improved a tiny bit. It gets worse if I obsess about it, to be honest. Therapy works in that regard. 
  • PMS: My PMS was terrible last month. It's just starting now. Last month i felt like it made ALL of the symptoms worse. I'll keep you updated.


I know it's a lot, but I think it's also important to tell you about the good, the bad, and the ugly! Generally speaking I'm feeling BETTER! But you have to be patient and put in a lot of effort and work. Supplements are also expensive, but they can definitely help. 

But the most important thing for me is diet and exercising, alongside with PATIENCE. Some days are terrible, others are okay.

I'm curious to see how I'll keep on getting better :)

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Oh, I forgot to tell you about essential oils! I've also been using them, and they help as well. 

Lavender and Chamomile are the best ones I've tried. Chamomile essential oil (the German one) doesn't smell that great and it has a weird tint to it, but it works very well. I sometimes mix it with my body lotion at night and the nights that I do, I sleep better! 

Lavender oil I diffuse it. I love it. 


Okay, that's all :)



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Hello again :) Long time no see! I, unfortunately, don't bring good news with me.

I went through a window of relief for about a month (that was back in mid-January to mid-Feb). Things weren't perfect, but I felt so much better, it was unbelievable: the run down is in one of my last posts. I barely felt depressed anymore, I experienced less anxiety, less weird dreams, slept better, had more energy, exercised, ate better.. etc. I felt that almost every aspect of my situation had improved. 


About 2/3 weeks ago I started feeling horrible again. To be honest, I don't blame it 100% on antidepressant withdrawal: it sure does play a role, but life circumstances and my own mental disorders don't help :(


Depression has come back (that was unexpected). I have such an intense feeling of despair, hopelessness, a feeling that life isn't worth living. I can't seem to find any motivation because I don't think I'll ever be fully recovered from all my ailments, and I can't seem to find joy in my every day life because I can't do almost anything without anxiety and intrusive thoughts/feelings acting up. I think about all of the things that my past self was expecting me to achieve, and to see how badly things turned out for me makes me depressed. 


I barely leave the house due to agoraphobia, so I don't have any social life. I'm not homebound: I can still go grocery shopping, go to work (most of the time, at least), even go to the gym ocasionally... but still, it's really bad :( I spend most of my time in my room. It's even hard for me to spend time with my family or to take proper care of myself. I feel like I don't have friends anymore. My boyfriend lives in another country. 


I started having ectopic beats again, a lot of anxiety, muscle tension and aches. My quality of sleep has decreased again - although it's not as bad as it used to be. There's one good thing, though: I don't have brain zaps anymore. 


I feel like my natural/biological heightened sensitivity has gotten worse since stopping the AD - loud noises, bright colours or lights, even internal emotions feel stronger than before. I feel too much all the time - I get emotional flashbacks to my childhood, and it's very unpleasant. My issues are rooted in my childhood, so it doesn't surprise me, but I don't wanna feel these emotions all the time... being highly sensitive sometimes suck. I have too many feelings and emotional memories (i.e. i pick up changes in my environment, even if subtle, and it sometimes brings me back emotionally to a time and place in my past. It's a feeling, a mood. It's similar as the feeling you get when listening to an old song from your past). Can anyone relate to this?


In this time I also started a new intensive therapy (let's see how it goes...), and I went to a neurologist. Because of my symptoms I was expected to be told that I have epilepsy, but they couldn't pick up anything in the EEG. I do have decreased activity / blood flow in both my temporal lobes.


I'd appreciate some words of encouragement. Could this be an AD wave? Will I be able to turn my life around? I just want to be at peace. 

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Hi Almu, 

How are you doing now? 

I can so relate to being a highly sensitive person. It's really hard sometimes, especially in the modern world. 

How did your therapy go? 

Hope you are feeling a bit better.

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