A14n: fear/terror feeling sertraline and mirtazapine cold turkey

[A14n]

Hi all. So early 2018 around February/March my doctor got me to go cold turkey from sertraline which I was on for 2 years 50mg apart from the last 2 weeks which was 100mg. After 1 week he got me to start mirtazapine 15mg. I felt so bad I only took it for 3 weeks and went cold turkey off it myself and never went back to the Dr. I lasted 3 months before being put back on the sertraline 50mg thinking it would fix me. But I never stabilised again so I have been tapering 5% since last October. 

 

My main symptoms are...

 

Waking up in fear/terror and an urgency to use the toilet. The fear lasts most of the day with it easing off a fair bit by the evening. I also get dp/dr. No real appetite, no emotions apart from negative ones. Feel nothing towards family/friends even though I know I love them I just don't feel it. I often feel I want to cry but it's impossible too like there's a total block on emotions. It's awful. Every day feels the same as the last. Only relief I get is when asleep. Dread the next day. Is this withdrawal? It feels like I'm stuck in this hell forever. Anyone else had this that can relate? 

 

Tinnitus and visual snow is a couple of other things I am plagued with 24/7. Plus my hearts always pounding hard but not fast though...always conscious of it. Another thing is pretty much no libido. 

 

Thanks for reading, hope this isn't forever

[Shep]

Hi, A14n.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

Rest assured, this is not forever. It can be a very long process, but there's no reason to think you won't heal.

 

From your 5% taper speed, it sounds like you may already be familiar with some of SA's threads on tapering, but just in case, I'll list them here for you.

 

Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Micro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreases

 

The Brassmonkey Slide Method of Micro-tapering

 

What is withdrawal syndrome? 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery video (4 minutes)

 

You may find some helpful information to handle your symptoms here: 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements, as many members report their nervous systems are simply too fragile to handle them. However, magnesium and fish oil tend to be calming to the nervous system and many people report they do help. Please only add in one supplement at a time and at a small dose. For more, please see:

 

 King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

Are you taking any other drugs besides sertraline? 

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

As you provide more information, we can better guide you in your taper. 

 

[A14n]

I think I'm stuck in a bad wave I'm not sure, I have pretty severe depersonalisation/derealisation. Nothing feels real at all to me, I have no emotions apart from fear/dread. I can be around my family and not feel any connection. It feels inhumane, my memory is poor. My own home feels unfamiliar. How can I not be healing yet? I will try and fill in details of medications soon. Can anyone explain why I am like this? 

[PabloHoney825]

A14n,

 

I also cold turkeyed mirtazapine. I was in 24/7 DP/Dr dread and fear for a couple months. There was agitation, anxiety, jerks, parasthesia,  insomnia, a bunch of other symptoms, and I had suicidal ideation. I made it through- I'm still not 100% but I'm also withdrawing benzos and beta blockers now. I'm working and raising my infant son. Life is much better and I'm functional. I still have moments of unease and anxiety but it's not constant all day fear and dread. Hang in there and don't think this is the new baseline--it's not. 

 

Pete

[VincentV]

On ‎1‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 7:28 PM, A14n said:

 

 

Waking up in fear/terror and an urgency to use the toilet. The fear lasts most of the day with it easing off a fair bit by the evening. I also get dp/dr. No real appetite, no emotions apart from negative ones. Feel nothing towards family/friends even though I know I love them I just don't feel it. I often feel I want to cry but it's impossible too like there's a total block on emotions. It's awful. Every day feels the same as the last. Only relief I get is when asleep. Dread the next day. Is this withdrawal? It feels like I'm stuck in this hell forever. Anyone else had this that can relate? 

 

Yes I can relate. I was on Sertraline and Mirtazapine (briefly) and though my anxiety has mostly abated, in the first few  months my anxiety was "sky high".  It peaked at about lunch time and was 'all right' by evening. It did, slowly get better though.  The most upsetting thing is how screwed up my emotions are. Its like I don't have 'access' to them anymore. I remember pleasant or fond memories and can't conjure up the feelings or associations that go with them. I'm constantly 'numb' , with heavy DP/DR and I'd agree with you, it is hellish. I also have tinnitus as well, though that never really bugs me anymore.

 

Though everyone's recovery is different, it does generally get better for pretty much everyone as far as I can gather. It just takes time, how much time varies. For some lucky people its weeks, for some its  months and for others, years. I have slowly noticed improvements (especially regarding anxiety). I am hopeful that I will see more though it might take a long time. I have read about people who've had similar experiences to myself and you who got there in the end. Please don't despair.

[ChessieCat]

Here's some additional information which might help you to understand what is happening:

 

Recovery isn't linear it happens in a Windows and Waves Pattern

 

Withdrawal Normal Description

When we take a psychiatric drug, we are adding chemical/s to the brain.  The brain then has to change to adapt to getting the chemical/s.  It might have to change something to do with A and then once that change has been made it affects B so another change has to be made and so on down the line.  It is a chain reaction, a domino effect.

 

The same thing happens when we take the drug away.  That's why it's possible to experience such a vast array of withdrawal symptoms, and they can change, and be of different intensity.

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

These explain it really well:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

On 8/31/2011 at 5:28 AM, Rhiannon said:

When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

 

AND

 

On 12/4/2015 at 2:41 AM, apace41 said:

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.  

 

[eymen23]

6 hours ago, A14n said:

I think I'm stuck in a bad wave I'm not sure, I have pretty severe depersonalisation/derealisation. Nothing feels real at all to me, I have no emotions apart from fear/dread. I can be around my family and not feel any connection. It feels inhumane, my memory is poor. My own home feels unfamiliar. How can I not be healing yet? I will try and fill in details of medications soon. Can anyone explain why I am like this? 

 

Are you having any better moments or days A14n? Sadly, recovery can be slow and frustrating with lots of set backs, but your baseline will gradually improve over time.

 

I can imagine that the cold turkey of two seperate medications was hard on your nervous system, especially after your nervous system was perhaps sensitised by the first withdrawal.

 

Please try to stay positive. Healing takes time but it does happen. I have found great inspiration in Baylissa Frederick, as well as many of the success stories here. On hard days, they might be able to fill you with hope.

[ChessieCat]

We strongly encourage members to learn and use non drug coping techniques to help get through discomfort and tough times.

 

Understanding what is happening helps us to not get caught up with the second fear, or fear of the fear.  This happens when we experience sensations in our body and because we don't understand them we are scared of them and then start to panic.

 

This document has a diagram of the body explaining what happens in the body when we become anxious:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/AnxietySelfHelp.pdf

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

Audio FEMALE VOICE:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

Audio MALE VOICE:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

dealing-with-emotional-spirals

 

Dr Claire Weekes suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways of coping.  There are videos available on YouTube.

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

 

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

 

On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

 

 

[Aquarius]

Hope your doing ok ...i have just started Mirtazapine been on it about three weeks ...just wondering how you are getting on with the withdrawal ..

[A14n]

On 2/8/2019 at 8:13 PM, Aquarius said:

Hope your doing ok ...i have just started Mirtazapine been on it about three weeks ...just wondering how you are getting on with the withdrawal ..

I would taper off the mirtazapine I was on it 3 weeks and went cold turkey. I'm still in hell stuck in my head, my body and the world around me doesn't seem real and my mind feels blank. It's coming up to a year now since I've been feeling like this. Only respite I get is sleep. Not sure how long it's going to take. I just want ME back so bad, just feeling human would be good.

[A14n]

On 2/1/2019 at 9:27 PM, eymen23 said:

 

Are you having any better moments or days A14n? Sadly, recovery can be slow and frustrating with lots of set backs, but your baseline will gradually improve over time.

 

I can imagine that the cold turkey of two seperate medications was hard on your nervous system, especially after your nervous system was perhaps sensitised by the first withdrawal.

 

Please try to stay positive. Healing takes time but it does happen. I have found great inspiration in Baylissa Frederick, as well as many of the success stories here. On hard days, they might be able to fill you with hope.

Thank you for your reply. Yes it's been very hard on my system, its just indescribable the way I have felt. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. I guess my receptors have been damaged or something, I hope one day it will correct itself. Fed up living trapped in some weird reality. Things just seem off, and no positive emotions, people and places seem unfamiliar even though I see them every day... 

[A14n]

On 2/1/2019 at 5:47 PM, VincentV said:

 

Yes I can relate. I was on Sertraline and Mirtazapine (briefly) and though my anxiety has mostly abated, in the first few  months my anxiety was "sky high".  It peaked at about lunch time and was 'all right' by evening. It did, slowly get better though.  The most upsetting thing is how screwed up my emotions are. Its like I don't have 'access' to them anymore. I remember pleasant or fond memories and can't conjure up the feelings or associations that go with them. I'm constantly 'numb' , with heavy DP/DR and I'd agree with you, it is hellish. I also have tinnitus as well, though that never really bugs me anymore.

 

Though everyone's recovery is different, it does generally get better for pretty much everyone as far as I can gather. It just takes time, how much time varies. For some lucky people its weeks, for some its  months and for others, years. I have slowly noticed improvements (especially regarding anxiety). I am hopeful that I will see more though it might take a long time. I have read about people who've had similar experiences to myself and you who got there in the end. Please don't despair.

Hi Vincent how are you? I try not to despair. I am the same emotions are blocked it would seem. I get this overwhelming urge to cry at times? Yet I physically can't I hate that feeling! All positive emotions are gone. How long were you on sertraline and mirtazapine? Did you go cold turkey? 

[VincentV]

 

On 2/12/2019 at 11:58 AM, A14n said:

Hi Vincent how are you? I try not to despair. I am the same emotions are blocked it would seem. I get this overwhelming urge to cry at times? Yet I physically can't I hate that feeling! All positive emotions are gone. How long were you on sertraline and mirtazapine? Did you go cold turkey? 

 

I feel alright today. In fact if I'm honest the last few days have been the best window yet. My mood is up. I'm out and about doing stuff and thinking about other things, my mind isn't constantly thinking about and turning over and over the Withdrawal ( I only came on here because of getting an email alert). I was laughing with a friend today over a name for their new puppy and instead of feeling hollow, it felt good. I even did a gym session. 

 

I still don't feel right though, i mean I'm so removed and numb about so much and my sensitivity to certain sounds is still fairly acute. Crisp packets rustling, people chewing and breathing through their nose, whistling, babies grizzling and people generally just fussing.. It all drives me so crazy.  I literally go 0-100 in half a second. Totally absurd agitated rage. I have to leave the room. Its normally always human sounds too. I sleep next to my fish tank and the sound of that does bug me at all. Anyway I'm going off on a tangent.

 

I don't get any urge to cry, I wish I did. I'm not ashamed to admit it, I loved a good cry. I'd give anything to be able to just bawl my eyes out over something and then feel all relieved like I did as a kid. 

 

I was off and on sertraline for the best part of a decade, mirtazapine for 6 weeks or so. I didn't cold turkey but my tapers were very fast. Two months for sertraline and two weeks for mirtazapine. My initial crash was pretty nasty, though far from the worst by what I've read. 

 

 

[A14n]

Hi has anyone ever had what feels like their emotions are blocked? I feel nothing and it doesn't feel natural to me, I feel so empty and hollow. I can see and hear but nothing has any impact on the way I feel. I'm sure I have dpdr too. I've not been right since my Dr got me to quit sertraline cold turkey last year. And I was on mirtazapine a week after which I took for 3 weeks. Then reinstated sertraline after 3 months. I hope this does get better. 

[Aquarius]

Yes from what ive read and experienced myself it is normal ..im not sure but it may be that word beginning with A something like adehonia sorry cant remember how to spell it 😊but its not unusuall 

[ChessieCat]

I've moved the new topic you created to your Introduction topic.  It keeps your history in one place and forms a case study (this is helpful for any medical professionals who visit SA).  Each member has only 1 Introduction topic where they can ask questions and journal their progress.  Please continue to post in this topic.

 

8 hours ago, A14n said:

has anyone ever had what feels like their emotions are blocked?

 

This is very common.

 

anhedonia-apathy-demotivation-emotional-numbness

 

derealization-or-depersonalization-dr-and-dp

 

disconnect-between-interest-and-actionmotivation

 

[A14n]

Hi not a good day, I'm so scared my heart is beating so hard like I have loads of adrenaline in me. Can't calm down 😢

 

[VincentV]

It will be ok, you just have to keep in mind that these things will pass. When I used to get super adrenaline/cortisol spikes I just simply found pacing helped there was just nothing else I could do except wear my self out before bed. Is there a pattern to your anxiety? Does it ease off at night?

[A14n]

2 minutes ago, VincentV said:

It will be ok, you just have to keep in mind that these things will pass. When I used to get super adrenaline/cortisol spikes I just simply found pacing helped there was just nothing else I could do except wear my self out before bed. Is there a pattern to your anxiety? Does it ease off at night?

Hi it hits hardest in the morning, I wake up absolutely terrorfied and get waves of it throughout the day. But manage to sleep ok at night. It's making me so depressed and anxious feel like I'm gonna go crazy

[A14n]

Went to bed last night feeling not so bad, then woke up today feeling terrorfied what causes this? It's getting too much. I feel very weak with jerky movements. Random thoughts that make no sense, flash backs from past memories that I haven't thought about in years... I keep going hot and cold, can't think straight. Will I ever heal from this 

[Carmie]

Hi A14n, 

 

A lot of people in withdrawals wake up in a state of fear and panic. It’s caused by cortisol. There’s a thread under Symptoms And Selfcare entitled : “Waking With Panic And Anxiety, Managing The Morning Cortisol Spike.” I’m not computer savvy so I can’t send you the link. I’ll ask ChessieCat. You can also google survivingdepressants.org and managing the morning cortisol spike, it  should come up. 

 

Take care 💚

[A14n]

@Carmie thank you for your reply, I also have strong waves of terror throughout the day. It's not that I am terrorfied about anything in particular. It's like my mind is creating the terror. I mean I am at home safe but I don't feel safe. Logically thinking theres nothing to be afraid of.

 

Any idea what is causing this fear/terror in my mind? As I don't know what I am afraid of. It's such an awful feeling wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

Has anyone else had this where each day feels like you're terrorfied? Does it go away eventually. The only respite I get is when I am asleep. Then when I wake up it hits me. 

[ChessieCat]

neuro-emotions-deep-despair-dread-doom-horror

 

waking-with-panic-or-anxiety-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike

[Rabe]

Hi A141, 

I have been getting the same type of thing lately...waken very anxious and fearful and agitated.  Have had some stressful events and the fear and anxiety has been lasting all day...better early evening but after med then returns til late evening.  Grateful for sleep but then returns again.  It makes it very hard to function during the day at all...I am so sorry you are dealing with this.  I was just looking up Cortisol Spikes and ended up here.  I am going to read what ChessieCat posted...thank you @ChessieCat!

I can say that when my system had settled a bit it was better...worse now after stress.....so I do think it will improve for you...I sure hope so.  I feel like a totally different person when all that fear and anxiety dissipates.  Maybe it is because it is night time and I dont have to do anything or go anywhere...but I dont think so cause Id actually LIKE to go somewhere!  Just thinking about you!  Take care!💜

[A14n]

Thanks @ChessieCat

Will I ever get better I keep losing hope, being on antidepressants since 2011 and stopping cold turkey last year I feel has done so much damage, I'd cry if I could. I had sertraline 50mg reinstated last July after 3 months ct from sertraline and mirtazapine that I took for 3 weeks. I feel so detached out of body and extreme fear that seems to just get worse. I been tapering off sertraline since October last year. Down to 32.1mg. Just want these feelings to stop, feel like I'm dying I'm so weak

[ChessieCat]

I suggest you check out this area of SA:

 

Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal

[A14n]

I don't know what is going on with me anymore the confusion is bad, the constant waves of terror is a living hell. I feel so dizzy and my body is getting weaker it feels like. I feel utterly useless, my emotions are gone no one should feel this way I can't live only barely survive. I get this feeling in my stomach and chest that just rushes over me and leaves me frightened. What is it? 

[A14n]

Any mods have any suggestions? Do I keep taking the same dose of sertraline 32mg? I dropped by 2mg 10 days ago. 

 

My head feels physically numb if that makes any sense, like my brains been pumped full of anaesthetic. Walking feels weird and surreal, my memory is very poor. Sometimes I just stare blankly and can't snap out of it, I've even clicked my fingers in front of my own face to try get out of it. 

 

I keep getting random muscles twitching, and my thumbs move involuntary at times. The depression has been bad feeling like I'm dying. I have digestive issues no matter what I eat I have loose stools where I have to run to the toilet. I don't remember the last time I had a solid bowel movement! What's causing all this. Is my body rejecting the sertraline? I have no idea anymore it does my head in thinking about all this. 

[manymoretodays]

Are you able to get to Account Settings and do a signature(signature instructions),  A14n?

 

That will prove to be real helpful to us in guiding you.  If you're posting from a phone device you may not be able to see the signature(it's the part we can see below each person's post from desktops or notepads).

 

[A14n]

3 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Are you able to get to Account Settings and do a signature(signature instructions),  A14n?

 

That will prove to be real helpful to us in guiding you.  If you're posting from a phone device you may not be able to see the signature(it's the part we can see below each person's post from desktops or notepads).

 

I have now added medication history to signature. 

[eymen23]

Hi A14n,

 

I'm sorry you've been having such intense symptoms for so long. I'm just reading back over your drug history, as it's been a while since I viewed your thread. Sadly, with the two cold turkeys in relatively quick succession, and the large reinstatement dose of 50mg Sertraline, it may take time for things to level off.

 

I can see that you took 50mg of sertraline for about 3 months before you began tapering in October 2018. It's good you're making just 5% drops, but how are you responding after each drop in dose? Are you feeling worse for a period of time after? Has there been any improvement in symptoms since your dose came down?

 

It's a tricky one, because the Mirtazapine cold turkey will have caused disruption that may well be seperate to whatever is happening with the Sertraline. I'm wondering whether it may be sensible to hold your dose for a period of time, to let your nervous system catch up with all the changes. Please answer those questions and I can consult with the other mods based on your response.

 

[eymen23]

Also A14n,

 

It’s a little late so I could be getting confused, but if you’d been tapering by 5% a month since October 2018 and started at 50mg, you’d be taking a higher dose than 32mg? How have you been reducing the Sertraline? Are you reducing 5% every 2-3 weeks? 

[A14n]

23 hours ago, eymen23 said:

Hi A14n,

 

I'm sorry you've been having such intense symptoms for so long. I'm just reading back over your drug history, as it's been a while since I viewed your thread. Sadly, with the two cold turkeys in relatively quick succession, and the large reinstatement dose of 50mg Sertraline, it may take time for things to level off.

 

I can see that you took 50mg of sertraline for about 3 months before you began tapering in October 2018. It's good you're making just 5% drops, but how are you responding after each drop in dose? Are you feeling worse for a period of time after? Has there been any improvement in symptoms since your dose came down?

 

It's a tricky one, because the Mirtazapine cold turkey will have caused disruption that may well be seperate to whatever is happening with the Sertraline. I'm wondering whether it may be sensible to hold your dose for a period of time, to let your nervous system catch up with all the changes. Please answer those questions and I can consult with the other mods based on your response.

 

Hi thank you for the reply, I have not felt much difference since each drop, no improvement since dropping the dose lower. I never stabilised since reinstating. I wake up with sheer terror every morning without fail, then get waves of it throughout the day. Like constant adrenaline. Dread going to bed because of the next morning. I don't know if taking the sertraline is making me worse and worse. I have digestive issues loose stools every day. My appetite is poor no desire to eat but force myself to. I feel I want to cry to release this emotional pain that I feel inside me. But I am physically unable to cry like my emotions won't resurface, and that is a horrible feeling not being able to express any emotion. Keep thinking what's the point if I can't feel or connect to people or the world around me on any level. I just want to get better so much it hurts. 

[A14n]

23 hours ago, eymen23 said:

Also A14n,

 

It’s a little late so I could be getting confused, but if you’d been tapering by 5% a month since October 2018 and started at 50mg, you’d be taking a higher dose than 32mg? How have you been reducing the Sertraline? Are you reducing 5% every 2-3 weeks? 

I think it was October I dropped dosage from 50mg to 45mg my first drop. Then 42.8mg November. 40.6mg 2/12/18... 38.6mg 14/12/18. 36.7mg 25/12/18. 34.8mg 18/1/19.... Then I tried 2% taper. 34.1mg 22/2/19.... On 03/03/19 I skipped 33.4mg and 32.8mg and went to 32.1mg which is where I am at now. My taper has been pretty random, is that causing issues? Am I going way too fast with the drops? 

[A14n]

Another thing mornings and afternoons are absolute hell, I feel like I'm being chemically terrorised in my head. I don't know why I get so fearful it's not anything that's happening in my life. It's as if my brain is creating the feeling of fear/terror over nothing. Makes no sense. I feel as if I am freaking out on the inside and try and act normal on the outside.

[eymen23]

1 minute ago, A14n said:

Another thing mornings and afternoons are absolute hell, I feel like I'm being chemically terrorised in my head. I don't know why I get so fearful it's not anything that's happening in my life. It's as if my brain is creating the feeling of fear/terror over nothing. Makes no sense. I feel as if I am freaking out on the inside and try and act normal on the outside.

 

A14n,

 

Anxiety is a very common withdrawal symptom. Unfortunately once the nervous system becomes destabilised, we can begin to feel extremely scared and anxious without any known cause. We can also become more triggered by external events which would normally be unchallenging. 

 

I know that your current taper has been relatively slow, but unfortunately it sounds like after the two cold turkeys, you’ve become destabilised and are still experiencing withdrawal type symptoms. 

 

Are you having any windows at all? Any signs of worsening or improvement at all? 

I know I have already asked similar questions, but I think this is important to really consider. I know when you feel bad most of the time, it all begins to blur together into ‘I always feel awful’, but any extra insight would be helpful.