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A14n: fear/terror feeling sertraline and mirtazapine cold turkey

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AlanC
56 minutes ago, A14n said:

Ugh bad day, feel terrorfied of everything. It doesn't make sense to me, I have fear that just attaches itself to anything and everything. Scared to look out of the window, door bell went... Postman thought I was going to have a heart attack then the phone rang. Why am I living in fear all the time?

 

Take a look at the neuro-emotions topic:

I've had a lot of this. For me it tends to be grief and anger, although there have been bouts of fear as well. The emotions are caused by the withdrawal, but because we're used to them having an external cause we latch on to something, anything, to explain them. The anger has been the most destructive because I'll blindly latch on to something that would normally hardly register, and then act in a terrible way towards anybody I associate with the problem. I have to force myself to stop, consider, and drop the subject or even walk away as soon as I realise it's happening.

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Altostrata
On 6/8/2019 at 2:32 PM, A14n said:

Hi I am still feeling very much the same on the 18th of March the Dr swapped me to citalopram 10mg. But I feel no difference feel fear non stop pretty much for the past year or so. Was also given diazepam 2mg afraid to take it though. Not sure where to turn to be honest. Will this ever get better? 

 

The doctor switched you to citalopram May 18? Has your symptom pattern changed at all since then?

 

What is your drug schedule? Do you feel better or worse after taking citalopram?

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A14n
9 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

The doctor switched you to citalopram May 18? Has your symptom pattern changed at all since then?

 

What is your drug schedule? Do you feel better or worse after taking citalopram?

Symptoms are no emotions, random bouts of fear, scared to be alone. Not even sure who I am anymore if that makes sense? Dpdr is bad. I can't work anymore. Or barely look after myself. Do I come off the citalopram? Clearly no drugs are going to help. Guess I'm still suffering from withdrawal from sertraline and mirtazapine. Am I stuck this way its been over a year and a half with no improvements. I want ME back, I need emotions. Even my memory seems so gone. Thanks for any support 

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A14n
10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

The doctor switched you to citalopram May 18? Has your symptom pattern changed at all since then?

 

What is your drug schedule? Do you feel better or worse after taking citalopram?

Symptoms are no emotions, random bouts of fear, scared to be alone. Not even sure who I am anymore if that makes sense? Dpdr is bad. I can't work anymore. Or barely look after myself. Do I come off the citalopram? Clearly no drugs are going to help. Guess I'm still suffering from withdrawal from sertraline and mirtazapine. Am I stuck this way its been over a year and a half with no improvements. I want ME back, I need emotions. Even my memory seems so gone. Also my body feels pretty numb, apart from neck pain. I'm aware of every heart beat and get this electric feeling in my limbs. Very hard to relax. Yet I can sleep at night 

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VincentV
On 6/12/2019 at 12:22 PM, A14n said:

Ugh bad day, feel terrorfied of everything. It doesn't make sense to me, I have fear that just attaches itself to anything and everything. Scared to look out of the window, door bell went... Postman thought I was going to have a heart attack then the phone rang. Why am I living in fear all the time? Had it since the Dr cold turkey me off sertraline and put me on mirtazapine which I took for 3 weeks. Then took nothing for 3 months. Then Dr reinstated the sertraline which I'm sure made things worse. I tapered down to 25mg over several months but felt worse now got swapped to citalopram 10mg about 4 weeks ago. It's not helping at all. Not sure where to go from here? Do I carry on taking the citalopram I'm not sure nothing seems to help ugh 

 

 

Well I'd certainly think carefully about whether and how quickly you decide to come off. Your dr might suggest you persevere a little longer. Some people do seem to find they can 'stabalise' on a new med with a little time, others do not. 

 

Have you mentioned that you think this is withdrawal to your doctor? Is citalopram definitely making things worse, or are things keeping to the same level of bad? 

 

Our stories are quite similar except I've yet to try reinstating sertraline. I found that the acute 'terror' subsided after a couple of months, its just left me riding the waves of other almost equally horrible symptoms. Things aren't acute, they aren't good, they are marginally better though. I do sometimes think about reinstatement, though dread making things worse. Sometimes I wish I could try ECT.

 

You've probably already read it, but you might find sertramean's success story comforting. He cycled through all the SSRIs and mirtazapine which caused him appalling anxiety. He said that after a year or 18 months (I think) of being on nothing he'd slowly pretty much recovered. Keep us posted, you're not alone. 

 

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Altostrata
6 hours ago, A14n said:

Symptoms are no emotions, random bouts of fear, scared to be alone. Not even sure who I am anymore if that makes sense? Dpdr is bad. I can't work anymore. Or barely look after myself. Do I come off the citalopram? Clearly no drugs are going to help. Guess I'm still suffering from withdrawal from sertraline and mirtazapine. Am I stuck this way its been over a year and a half with no improvements. I want ME back, I need emotions. Even my memory seems so gone. Also my body feels pretty numb, apart from neck pain. I'm aware of every heart beat and get this electric feeling in my limbs. Very hard to relax. Yet I can sleep at night 

 

How did these symptoms change after you went on 10mg citalopram May 18? Have they gotten better or worse in the last 2 weeks?

 

What times of day do you take your drugs, and their dosages? How do you feel before and after you take your drugs?

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A14n
24 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

How did these symptoms change after you went on 10mg citalopram May 18? Have they gotten better or worse in the last 2 weeks?

 

What times of day do you take your drugs, and their dosages? How do you feel before and after you take your drugs?

Symptoms haven't changed, I take it in the morning about 8am. I feel the same before and after I take it. Dr wants me to up it to 20mg but I just want off everything I think. As I feel it's just delaying any healing 

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Altostrata

Has your symptom pattern been the same since cold turkey off 100mg sertraline in March 2018?

 

In July 2018, you said you had extreme anxiety after reinstating 50mg sertraline. Do you feel the same kind of anxiety now?

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A14n
2 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Has your symptom pattern been the same since cold turkey off 100mg sertraline in March 2018?

 

In July 2018, you said you had extreme anxiety after reinstating 50mg sertraline. Do you feel the same kind of anxiety now?

Yes the same pretty relentless since going c/t. 

 

The same level of anxiety I feel now as I did then, maybe slightly worse. 

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A14n

I get this horrible feeling in my chest that sweeps over me like a surge. I am aware of my heart beat and breathing all the time. Can't focus on the world around me

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Vonnegutjunky

After reading your whole thread, I am wondering if you have akathisia. Especially when you talk about having electricity like feelings. 

 

Not all akathisia is pacing. I had internal akathisia, and it sounds exactly like what your describing, dr. Shipko talks about an akathisia type of wd feeling too, similar to what your describing. 

 

When i reinstated paxil, that’s when I got it. The only thing that made it go was reducing my med, and now that I am at low doses, I am getting it again. It’s from that damn receptor down regulation. And it’s exactly to a tee what you describe. A chemical terror with no thoughts attached to it. 

 

I have been tapering after an unsuccessful reinstatement, it’s hard as hell. I am a shell of what I used to be. I feel beat up. But I recently have been having days where I feel better, moments, where I feel like myself again, and the bizarre acid trip lifts for a little bit. 

 

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VincentV
12 hours ago, A14n said:

Symptoms are no emotions, random bouts of fear, scared to be alone. Not even sure who I am anymore if that makes sense? Dpdr is bad. I can't work anymore. Or barely look after myself. Do I come off the citalopram? Clearly no drugs are going to help. Guess I'm still suffering from withdrawal from sertraline and mirtazapine. Am I stuck this way its been over a year and a half with no improvements. I want ME back, I need emotions. Even my memory seems so gone. Also my body feels pretty numb, apart from neck pain. I'm aware of every heart beat and get this electric feeling in my limbs. Very hard to relax. Yet I can sleep at night 

 

You and I really do have very similar symptoms. My emotions are almost all dead and I have no emotional memory. I also want 'ME' back. Its weird though, to most others I still seem to be 'me'. One friend said he didn't wouldnt even know i was remotely depressed were it not for the lack of drinking and the fact I'd confided it to him. Inside me is pain and incomprehensible chaos, yet some how the right words and jokes mostly still come out of my mouth. Maybe it is the same for you? . 

 

The anxiety you're experiencing does sound very horrible. I know its extremely unpleasant but I try to think of he dissociation as my brain's way of protecting me from whats been going on in the many months of this awfulness. Dp/dr and dissociation is linked to stress. Try to detach and surf your symptoms, eventually the anxiety will break.  Hit me up if you ever need to talk. 

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VincentV
3 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

After reading your whole thread, I am wondering if you have akathisia. Especially when you talk about having electricity like feelings. 

 

Yes, I did wonder that. Its the inability to relax too. I find my thoughts often jump from thing to thing, its like sometimes they can never settle on a comfortable thought for a millisecond. This restlessness is exhusting. There is no relaxation, there is no feeling of relief. I dont always have it though, or at least im not always aware of it. 

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Altostrata

After you reinstated 50mg sertraline in July 2018, was the anxiety more extreme than what you had in May-June 2018, PRIOR to reinstatement? Did the 50mg reinstatement make you worse?

 

After reducing sertraline to 25mg, then going off and substituting 10mg citalopram, the anxiety hasn't changed at all?

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A14n
4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

After you reinstated 50mg sertraline in July 2018, was the anxiety more extreme than what you had in May-June 2018, PRIOR to reinstatement? Did the 50mg reinstatement make you worse?

 

After reducing sertraline to 25mg, then going off and substituting 10mg citalopram, the anxiety hasn't changed at all?

Yes I'm sure reinstating made me feel worse. No change on the citalopram 

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A14n
8 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

After reading your whole thread, I am wondering if you have akathisia. Especially when you talk about having electricity like feelings. 

 

Not all akathisia is pacing. I had internal akathisia, and it sounds exactly like what your describing, dr. Shipko talks about an akathisia type of wd feeling too, similar to what your describing. 

 

When i reinstated paxil, that’s when I got it. The only thing that made it go was reducing my med, and now that I am at low doses, I am getting it again. It’s from that damn receptor down regulation. And it’s exactly to a tee what you describe. A chemical terror with no thoughts attached to it. 

 

I have been tapering after an unsuccessful reinstatement, it’s hard as hell. I am a shell of what I used to be. I feel beat up. But I recently have been having days where I feel better, moments, where I feel like myself again, and the bizarre acid trip lifts for a little bit. 

 

I guess I need to stop the citalopram Dr's just want to keep giving meds out but its not helping. I'm so tired of all of this and confused. Glad you are getting better moments. 

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A14n

I haven't taken the citalopram 10mg today, they just don't work. Nothing does 😢

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A14n
12 minutes ago, A14n said:

I haven't taken the citalopram 10mg today, they just don't work. Nothing does 😢

Just taken it. Not sure what I'm supposed to do anymore. Any suggestions? 

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Altostrata

Since you've been on it only since May 18, I would do a quick taper of citalopram, not cold turkey, perhaps reduce by 25% and see what happens.

 

Are you using liquid? Can you get the liquid? If not, this topic explains how to make a liquid from a tablet Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

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A14n
On 6/15/2019 at 12:03 AM, Altostrata said:

Since you've been on it only since May 18, I would do a quick taper of citalopram, not cold turkey, perhaps reduce by 25% and see what happens.

 

Are you using liquid? Can you get the liquid? If not, this topic explains how to make a liquid from a tablet Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

I went to A&E Saturday as I felt agitated and couldn't keep still. They gave me 5mg diazepam and got reffered to the mental health Dr who decided it was best I come off the citalopram over 4 days... And gave me a prescription of cymbalta and lorazepam. Which I don't think I'll be taking. How is that going to help. Will make matters far worse im sure ugh. 

 

 

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Altostrata

If I were you, I would not take Cymbalta, it could be activating.

 

What was your reaction to diazepam?

 

Be sure to keep notes about what times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms after that. This is important is you're taking benzos.

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VincentV

How bad is the agitation/movement? Are you still able to sleep? 

 

Please make sure you have people around you and that you're safe.  I know you are in a very horrible place right now and that it's very hard but please listen to Altostrata and precisely record your symptoms and reactions to your doses. It'll make it easier to see what's what and hopefully give you some advice. 

 

I have never heard anything good about Cymbalta, it seems like one of the worst.  You do not want to risk full blown akathisia by rapidly chopping and changing drugs. 

 

 

 

 

 

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A14n
30 minutes ago, VincentV said:

How bad is the agitation/movement? Are you still able to sleep? 

 

Please make sure you have people around you and that you're safe.  I know you are in a very horrible place right now and that it's very hard but please listen to Altostrata and precisely record your symptoms and reactions to your doses. It'll make it easier to see what's what and hopefully give you some advice. 

 

I have never heard anything good about Cymbalta, it seems like one of the worst.  You do not want to risk full blown akathisia by rapidly chopping and changing drugs. 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi agitation isn't too bad now. I still sleep. Did have a panic attack couple days ago that was pretty bad but it passed. I know it will get better in time, I haven't been getting the fear feeling as much. Depressed at times mostly mornings. Evenings are not so bad. I think I'll avoid anymore drugs after I'm off the citalopram. I need to recover without. I'm sure certain foods make things worse. Anything with msg in it ugh

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A14n
52 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

If I were you, I would not take Cymbalta, it could be activating.

 

What was your reaction to diazepam?

 

Be sure to keep notes about what times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms after that. This is important is you're taking benzos.

I've read nothing but bad reports on cymbalta so I won't be taking it. I haven't touched the lorazepam as that isn't safe either. After I'm off citalopram I don't want anything else. 

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Altostrata

Did you take diazepam? What happened?

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A14n
8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Did you take diazepam? What happened?

Felt almost normal when I took it at hospital. Now I feel completely dead inside no emotion can barely speak 

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Altostrata

Is feeling "dead inside" your only symptom now? Please explain more about this.

 

I would NOT change your citalopram dose for the time being. This might have happened because you didn't take citalopram on schedule:

 

Quote

I went to A&E Saturday as I felt agitated and couldn't keep still. They gave me 5mg diazepam and got reffered to the mental health Dr who decided it was best I come off the citalopram over 4 days... And gave me a prescription of cymbalta and lorazepam. Which I don't think I'll be taking. How is that going to help. Will make matters far worse im sure ugh.

 

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A14n
59 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Is feeling "dead inside" your only symptom now? Please explain more about this.

 

I would NOT change your citalopram dose for the time being. This might have happened because you didn't take citalopram on schedule:

 

 

I already did the 4 day taper off as the Dr told me too 😕. Then they said start cymbalta but I don't want to do that. 

 

My symptoms have been pretty much the same for the past year and a half. No appetite, tinnitus, visual snow, fear, no positive emotion, dpdr, random memory/dream flashbacks, twitching muscles 

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Altostrata

When did you stop citalopram? Do you feel any different?

 

What is the "fear" like?

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A14n
On 6/20/2019 at 9:59 PM, Altostrata said:

When did you stop citalopram? Do you feel any different?

 

What is the "fear" like?

It's fear that is just there and attaches itself to anything and everything. I feel so much worse now that I am not taking anything. Getting suicidal thoughts, I'm so scared. I think I will have to take the duloxetine and try to stabilise? Feel my options have run out :(

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A14n

I feel so weak, my limbs are burning, heart beating out of my chest. Barely walk. No appetite or sense of thirst, random muscle twitching. Loud tinnitus, static in vision. Can't sleep now either 

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VincentV

Muscle weakness and your heart issues could be propranolol related. It says on your propranolol very infrequently? 

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Altostrata

Effectively, you've cold-turkeyed off another drug.

 

Even if you didn't feel the citalopram was doing anything, it was providing some support to your nervous system.

 

Not sure what I can suggest.

 

 

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ChessieCat

Please simplify and update your drug signature and make it easier for us.  We don't need the extra details, just the dates and doses so we can see the information we need at a glance and not have to read back through your posts.  I suggest that you copy and paste the current drug signature into a post and then use the preferred format:

 

Keep it simple.  NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you.

  • details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
  • summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Edit a signature

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