A14n: fear/terror feeling sertraline and mirtazapine cold turkey

[A14n]

I'm getting worse as time goes on, do I have any hope now of recovering. Got akathisia now had pacing the past few months feel like I'm going mad. My emotions are still dead and my personality and my memory is going. So is cognitive function, no body mapping, can't tell where my limbs are without looking at them. 

 

Music looping in my head and random thoughts and images pop-up feel I've lost control of my mind, suicidal thoughts. Nightmares, constant waves of terror. Dpdr. I think im done for how can l survive this? My heart pounds non stop can't function or watch tv or listen to music. Can barely speak. No sense of hunger or thirst. Can't plan anything, total andhedonia

 

Will this just get worse and worse until I give up or die? 

[VincentV]

Hey A14n, 

 

I'm very sorry to hear that you are still struggling so much. As you' probably read, I have a similar(ish) story to you and I am in quite a similiar position to you with regard to symptoms. Its important to realise that at under six months since your last dose of anti-depressants is still very early days as your withdrawal is concerned. Much can and does change.

 

Maybe it'll give you a little bit of hope if I tell you how it is/has been for me.  

 

In the beginning the anxiety was beyond anything I could have imagined, but it did settle, the pacing settled, the leg tension settled, the waves of terror settled, the cortisol spikes settled, the obsessive rumination settled, the music I get from time to time in my head is rarely bothersome. Images no longer pop into my head. This has all taken months and months. 

 

I've been able to volunteer now once a week since August. Yesterday was the first time in a long while I've been able to concentrate enough to read a book, which is a big thing for me. 

 

This has felt like good solid progress, though I can't lie, its been over a year and things are still hard for me in many respects:  severe depression, restless thoughts, complete anhedonia, on/off misophonia, heavy dpdr, confusion, cognitive problems, agitation/irritation. Even one of these symptoms would be horrendous, all of it together feels very disabling. 

 

The most bothersome things for me are often the most difficult to articulate. It feels like a hole in me, my mind, my brain maybe, which is very just very hard to live with some days. 

 

Its been acheingly slow progress, but progress is progress all the same. Try to hang on to that please don't give up hope in healing. It takes a long time. 

 

Are you still taking the propranolol? Its one of the few drugs that can supposedly help with akathisia. Is it more internal or external?  Akathisia is an odd one for me I dont really know if the constant, background restlessness i feel qualifies. 

 

Try not to be scared by some of the symptoms you're describing (images etc..) as a lot  of them are connected to stress responses. They will settle once the anxiety finally settles. 

 

Please keep your self safe and let other people know whats happening (and why,  "its withdrawal"). 

 

I know its hard and dispiriting wheb there seems to be little progress but please let us know how you're getting on. 

 

Take care of your self

 

[Shane88L]

Hi A14n,

 

I completely relate to what you say, and let me just say that, at your time into w/d recovery, I was feeling much the same as you are now.

I'm only starting to truly feel better, and it has taken over 14 months...! It takes time, just like everyone say, and I can now personally attest to this.

It is so hellish, I know, but it will get better for you with time.

These drugs are nasty, and the brain needs quite some time to get itself back to normal.

 

[A14n]

I feel like I'll go insane, my brain and body is burning inside. My memory is fading fast. I can't feel my body at all. I have nothing to anchor me to reality. I don't think i can keep going like this. It's not normal I'm so scared

[Gem92]

Hello, I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I read through your thread and you and I have very similar symptoms. I am too 1 and a half years into this mess and I am still on a drug yet. 

I get the anhedonia, the terror, the body numbness and the feeling dead feelings too. You get burning brain too. I have it constantly! And I am just beginning to get the pacing akathisia. It is truly hell. And waking up in it is the worst feeling ever!

A lot of success stories that have helped me were traumatized80, Naturalborn, ten0275 and many others that a lot of the members posted on my thread if you ever want to take a look. But they were all kindled like we are. Our brains have been through so much. You are very lucky you do not have any antipsychotics involved like I do. They are the worst but I know that Mirtazapine is a beast as well. 

I just wanted to give you my support and let you know that you're not alone. ❤ You will make this because you are strong!

[A14n]

It is hell isn't it. I actually was given an antipsychotic is may probably what gave me akathisia it was pericyazine 2.5mg I had 6 pills (prescribed off label for severe anxiety) of it it was a low dose but must of damaged me further. The terror was bad this morning had to take a diazepam or thought I was gonna die. Sorry you are going through this. Just know you are not alone. 

[Gem92]

Thank you, we'll get through this! And I'm sure the antipsychotic didn't add more damage. You were in it for only a short time. Keep fighting! I am walking through hell right beside you! 

[Lostinwonderland]

tramadol have me anxiety really bad ,Propanolol gave me music in my head really bad and visual snow, I told the doctor and they said oh it's anxiety here's some celexa, and that opened up a whole can of worms.

[Sofa]

@A14n

How are you doing? I am suffering the same symptoms as you! Did you Feel better eventually?

[A14n]

So it's been over 4 years now, I am no better getting worse as time goes on. Is it time to give up now, I can't sit here brain dead for the rest of my days? I can't function at all, no executive function, no time perception, no hunger or thirst sensations, no long term or short term memory, anhedonia, pssd. Tingling burning in arms and legs, nightmares. Foot spasmed I look like I've had a stroke, shooting pains in my left eye, hear my heart beat buzzing inside my head. Can't sweat at all, acne all over my face and I'm 42 years old. Off all antidepressants since Jan 2020. I can't watch TV I can't talk to my family, I have no connection or emotions, locked out of life. Every day is the same stuck on loop for all eternity can only think of one way to break the loop. What do you do when there is zero hope left and no quality of life? 

[Taurus]

I suffer from the same symptoms and I’m only 25. Also getting worse,  I don’t know what to do either