☼ ChapNasty: entering 5th month of WD

[ChapNasty]

I'm coming up on my 5th month of being off of Citalopram for 6 years. I recently came upon this forum and I'm just bewildered at the information I've found that was never told to me by my doctor. She made this WD sound like it was a 30 day thing no problem. No lingering effects or anything. I have alot of  resentment towards her right now! It would have been nice to have the accurate tapering information 4 months ago. Unfortunately, I'm not in that boat.  In my current situation, what can I expect going forward at the 5 month mark. This has been extremely rough on my family. I have 3 kids and a wonderful wife, who all have been blind sided by what I have turned into. They are my livelihood and my inspiration to be the father and husband I am capable of being. I'm just struggling, I still have different symptoms everyday (irritability, heart palpitations, dizziness, muscle tension, neck and back pain, foot numbness, panic attacks, high anxiety, headaches, tinnitus). I am doing the best i can but feel bad for my wife. This was my problem and should never have unknowingly effected her like this. Will these symptoms ease over time? I'm searching for someone who has had a similar experience than I and can give me some insight.

[Shep]

Hi, Chipnasty.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. 

 

Unfortunately, doctors are very ignorant about withdrawal. However, there's no reason to think you won't heal. These horrible symptoms fade over time. 

 

Five months off is a long time out, but you may benefit from a very tiny reinstatement dose. Here is some information for you to read over, should you decide to go this route. 

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

To get to a small enough dose for a reinstatement, please see these threads: 

 

Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

Making a citalopram solution yourself

 

For more on tapering and withdrawal: 

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery video (4 minutes)

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Quote

 

Weekly: 90 min. Massage,  60 min. Accupuncture, and 20 min. Alpha Brain Wave Therapy (Vielight)

 

 

The above is from your signature. I'm concerned that some of these treatments may actually be causing problems. When your nervous system is sensitive, massage, acupuncture and brain wave therapy can cause the nervous system to hyper-react. 

 

However, some people find massages and acupuncture relaxing.  It's important your acupuncture know that you don't want treatment for "depression" as he or she may give you an "activating" treatment, which can be very bad for someone with a destabilized nervous system). Make sure it's a "calming" treatment. 

 

Please see:

 

Acupuncture

 

I couldn't find anything for the Alpha Brain Wave Therapy (Vielight); however, you may find some comparable information here: 

 

Alpha-Stim, Fisher Wallace Sota Biotuner, PoNS, and similar devices

 

You have in your signature that you are off of both benzos and ADs now. Are you taking any other kinds of drugs, including over the counter? If so, please add them to your signature. 

 

After you have a chance to read through these threads, please let us know if a reinstatement is something you'd like to try and we'll help you sort out the best starting dose. 

 

 

[ChapNasty]

Shep,

 

Your response was much appreciated. I really don't think I could reinstate at this point. The first 2 months of this fast taper withdrawal took a huge toll on my health and family life.

I will be taking your advice about reducing acupuncture and vielight brain therapy. I'm not feeling any positive effects from those but more anxiety.

Do you have any thoughts about CBD Oil?

 

I can tell I am getting better with time but still have those waves. Its just nice to talk with folks who understand what I'm going through. I don't have anyone around me that would understand. I try to tell my wife and she tries but if you haven't been through it you wouldn't understand.

 

Keep grindin'

[Shep]

6 hours ago, ChapNasty said:

Your response was much appreciated. I really don't think I could reinstate at this point. The first 2 months of this fast taper withdrawal took a huge toll on my health and family life.

I will be taking your advice about reducing acupuncture and vielight brain therapy. I'm not feeling any positive effects from those but more anxiety.

 

Please continue to post and let us know how you're doing. Since these forms of therapy were causing more anxiety, you likely will benefit from discontinuing them and will see improvements in the coming weeks as their effects fade out. 

 

6 hours ago, ChapNasty said:

Do you have any thoughts about CBD Oil?

 

CBD oil is a hit or a miss for people going through withdrawal. Please see:

 

Cannabis, marijuana, THC, and CBD or Hemp oil

 

If you do try CBD oil, do so at a very small dose until you see how you react. 

 

6 hours ago, ChapNasty said:

I can tell I am getting better with time but still have those waves. Its just nice to talk with folks who understand what I'm going through. I don't have anyone around me that would understand. I try to tell my wife and she tries but if you haven't been through it you wouldn't understand.

 

Yes, this is an extremely isolating path to follow. You may want to read and post here in the Relationships thread for a bit of company with like-minded people: 

 

Relationships and Social Life

[Carmie]

Hi Chapnasty, 

 

I just wanted to welcome you to SA too. Yes, withdrawals can certainly be a lonely journey when everyone around you doesn’t seem to understand. I’m so glad you’ve got a lovely caring family though, they must be wonderful treasures in your life. 

 

This certainly is a rollercoaster ride🎢🎢 of windows and waves, up, down, up, down. You can get windows and waves all in the same day too. Our poor little brains are trying to repair themselves. Your symptoms will ease over time, but unfortunately no one can say when. There is absolutely nothing linear in withdrawals, they are all over the place. Just take heart in the fact that every day is a day closer to healing. 

 

Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery.💚

Edited February 1, 2019 by Carmie
Typo

[ChapNasty]

Thank you Carmie & Shep

 

I appreciate the kind words of encouragement.

 

I do have a couple questions, I'd like to know your opinions if possible.

 

I get super anxious when taking fish oil and vitamin D, not sure if its the actual supplements or from the withdrawal. Did you either of you have any luck with certain supplements?

 

My sleep pattern is all over the place. One night not bad getting deep sleep, next night just tossing all night no sleep at all. Any tips on this would be appreciated.

 

Dizziness and trouble focusing throughout the day. Any remedies to help with this would be great.

 

Wondering if there are any supplements or natural remedies to take to subside the symptoms or anything that has help you.

 

Thank you

 

 

 

 

[kirby]

I find that coconut oil makes me think smarter and calmer. Although, only taken a little bit and once a week,  because its a lot of fat for the body to digest (it digests differently from regular fats I read). Also, it might only just be for me, because the medication I took was zyprexa, different than yours. Also, it is a long time from when I first started withdrawal, so that might be something too.

[Shep]

10 hours ago, ChapNasty said:

I get super anxious when taking fish oil and vitamin D, not sure if its the actual supplements or from the withdrawal. Did you either of you have any luck with certain supplements?

 

Do you take the fish oil and the vitamin D at the same time? 

 

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol or calcitriol)

 

As you can read in these links, fish oil tends to be calming but vitamin D can be stimulating and led to insomnia and other problems. 

 

So it may be the vitamin D. You may want to reduce your dose and see how you feel. To get vitamin D naturally, try to take a 15 - 30 minute walk outside every day in the sunlight. Or eat foods high in vitamin D. 

 

During withdrawal, the only two supplements SA recommends are fish oil and magnesium. But if you have reactions to those, best to avoid, as well. 

 

Once you've healed from withdrawal, you'll be able to try supplements again. 

 

10 hours ago, ChapNasty said:

My sleep pattern is all over the place. One night not bad getting deep sleep, next night just tossing all night no sleep at all. Any tips on this would be appreciated.

 

The every-other-night sleep pattern is common for a lot of people, especially those coming off benzos. 

 

This pattern will improve over time. 

Edited February 7, 2019 by Shep
added information

[ChapNasty]

Any recommendations for the headaches?

[Shep]

Please see:

 

Migraines, headaches, neck ache / pain and head pressure

 

Headache Stretches from MassageByHeather.com video (6 minutes)

[Leo1983]

Hi Chap.

 

My situation is similar to yours. Please read my thread. 

 

I have a wife and children and also a full time job. I know how hard it is and the impact it has on your mind and loved ones. 

 

Take each day..... do what you can and dont feel guilty for what you cant. This is not you fault!!!

 

I think as males we put alot of self pressure on ourselves to get better. What you will see as time moves forward is you slowly start doing more and more. 

 

All your symptoms are common also..

[ChapNasty]

My current daily exercise consists of riding a indoor bike at a nice pace for about 20-30 mins but never really pushing it. I try to do this 5-6 days a week. I used to lift weights 3-4 times a week before starting my quick taper so yesterday I thought I would try it since its been about 5 months and I had some energy. Terrible idea, last night and today my head has felt like it was going to explode with pressure and ache. I think I triggered something cause I've been ridden with high anxiety and brain fog since I then. Hope I didn't put myself back into a wave. I do try not to push myself but it's hard to and just let my mind wonder. I try to keep busy but sometime end up feeling worse. What poison do you pick? Sit with your thoughts or keep busy and risk triggering a wave??

 

[Carmie]

Hi CN, 

 

How are you doing?💚

[ChapNasty]

Topic title:  7.5 months off Celexa

 

I just hit the 7.5 month and have been clobbered with a big wave. Today I was just driving down the highway and BAM, I was nailed with sheer panic and shakiness out of nowhere. I have gotten better with breathing techniques these past 7 months and can usually breath through it but today was different. I just couldn’t calm down at all. Felt impending doom, terrible thoughts, and just almost like I was back at square one. The passed couple weeks I felt like I was on the mend but today just rocked me and my momentum. Can anybody help with advice or experiences they’ve faced to help me get back?

 

Edited April 16, 2019 by ChessieCat

[Daisygirlsk]

On ‎1‎/‎23‎/‎2019 at 8:25 PM, ChapNasty said:

I'm coming up on my 5th month of being off of Citalopram for 6 years. I recently came upon this forum and I'm just bewildered at the information I've found that was never told to me by my doctor. She made this WD sound like it was a 30 day thing no problem. No lingering effects or anything. I have alot of  resentment towards her right now! It would have been nice to have the accurate tapering information 4 months ago. Unfortunately, I'm not in that boat.  In my current situation, what can I expect going forward at the 5 month mark. This has been extremely rough on my family. I have 3 kids and a wonderful wife, who all have been blind sided by what I have turned into. They are my livelihood and my inspiration to be the father and husband I am capable of being. I'm just struggling, I still have different symptoms everyday (irritability, heart palpitations, dizziness, muscle tension, neck and back pain, foot numbness, panic attacks, high anxiety, headaches, tinnitus). I am doing the best i can but feel bad for my wife. This was my problem and should never have unknowingly effected her like this. Will these symptoms ease over time? I'm searching for someone who has had a similar experience than I and can give me some insight.

Hello,

Your story is quite similar to mine...

 

I was on 20 mg of citalopram for 7 years.  I tapered over 4 weeks on the advice of my doctor, having never heard of withdrawal.  I have been suffering immensely.  I have nearly lost my relationship more than once.  I am also in month 5 of withdrawal. 

 

I was an avid exerciser before drugs but then lost all energy and motivation on them and gained 25 pounds.

 

I had continuous symptoms for a few months after withdrawal, but now I have windows.  On Sunday I decided to exercise.  It felt so nice to actually have energy that I pushed myself and overdid it.  Almost immediately after I had severe elbow pain that had me screaming and bawling in pain.  Never had this before withdrawal.  Starting a few hours after and continuing until now I have had intense anxiety, intrusive thoughts, depersonalization. total body pain, headaches, feeling like my eyes are bulging out of my head, bad light and noise sensitivity it is just awful. 

 

Message me anytime. 

[ChapNasty]

Thanks for your reply Daisy! Just checking in with you. How have you been feeling the past couple weeks? I have been off (in a cloud) the past week with weird aches and body pains. This whole thing just keeps me guessing, you just never know what symptoms are going to show up on any given day. Have you heard anything about this “ten month wave”? I think it’s adding and amping up my anxiety every day. Hope your hanging in there and healing everyday. 

 

 

[Daisygirlsk]

2 hours ago, ChapNasty said:

Thanks for your reply Daisy! Just checking in with you. How have you been feeling the past couple weeks? I have been off (in a cloud) the past week with weird aches and body pains. This whole thing just keeps me guessing, you just never know what symptoms are going to show up on any given day. Have you heard anything about this “ten month wave”? I think it’s adding and amping up my anxiety every day. Hope your hanging in there and healing everyday. 

 

 

Hi @chapnasty. I am in a really bad wave. Nonstop intrusive thoughts just like the first month. Depersonalization. Tons of anxiety. I actually have had aching legs and headache for 5 days straight so I relate to the body pain. It's all so discouraging and scary. I have heard of the 10 month wave yes. People have said it's really bad. Are you holding up? I just want this all to stop. Still seems like new symptoms all the time. Hang in there!

[ChapNasty]

Creeping up on this 10 month wave everyone keeps referring to. I’m starting to get deeper waves as I approach. The last 2 months have been my best since quitting cold turkey. I’m almost scared to revert back to what I was feeling in the beginning. Can anyone please share the personal experience with me when they were going through this 10 month wave?

[Altostrata]

Hello, CN, what are the symptoms you have now? You said you've been better over the last 2 months, did waves get worse again?

[ChapNasty]

Yes. All of my original symptoms have come back in a matter of 24 hours high anxiety, neck and joint pains, major migraines, brain fog, constant fear, and shakiness. I haven’t felt this bad in about a 2 month period. I’ve had little waves that have lasted a couple hours but none for this long.

[Leo1983]

This happened to me. Look at my thread at 10 months i was asking about the big wave.

 

To be honest im 12 month out and the past 8 weeks have been pretty difficult some days. You do get left wondering when is this **** guna end!

[Repent]

Same here, at 9 months. Had some pretty good months before but this wave is the hardest ever. All the symptoms are back but more severe, and usually my waves last a few days to a week. This has been going for 3 weeks now. In a constant hell of flu, anxiety, dp and akathisia. 

[ChapNasty]

On 6/8/2019 at 3:18 PM, Altostrata said:

Hello, CN, what are the symptoms you have now? You said you've been better over the last 2 months, did waves get worse again?

Yes. Months 10-12 were really intense. Pretty much back to square one. All my original symptoms came roaring back with a vengeance. I just cleared 13 months and I have hit a nice little wave. Still have the intrusive thoughts but anxiety is lower than it has been in awhile. 

[Daisygirlsk]

28 minutes ago, ChapNasty said:

Yes. Months 10-12 were really intense. Pretty much back to square one. All my original symptoms came roaring back with a vengeance. I just cleared 13 months and I have hit a nice little wave. Still have the intrusive thoughts but anxiety is lower than it has been in awhile. 

I still have intrusive thoughts too but other symptoms are much better. We are so similar!

[ChapNasty]

Has anyone tried Full Spectrum CBD oil while going through protracted withdrawal? Does it help with symptoms at all??

[Shep]

Please see:

 

Cannabis, marijuana, THC, and CBD or Hemp oil

 

Some people experience upticks in symptoms but some people do fine. If you do try it, start with a very small amount to test the waters. 

[India]

@ChapNasty Just wanted to offer you encouragement. I can’t even imagine WD with a partner and children, it is hard enough flying solo. Though perhaps having a family around can be a great comfort. In bad waves, bedbound, I can go days without meaningful human interaction. Still isolation is a multi axis thing- we all know that old adage of being the loneliest  when in company. It’s a state of mind. As well as @Leo1983 , @jozeff is navigating withdrawal with a wife and two young children. I hope it’s ok to connect you up. 

 

[ChapNasty]

16 months off Celexa

 

What a journey this a been and I’m still trucking along. I will start by saying this has been the hardest period of my entire life. It has gotten more manageable coming up on month 16 clear of any Celexa in my body. My anxiety still exists and comes and goes throughout every day. I can get through the panic attacks better than before due to not having all the other symptoms. Don’t get me wrong, I still have all of them but they seem to be on a sort of carousel. Yesterday, I felt off with a side of panic, today I have tremendous body pain with a twitchy eye, tomorrow will probably be bloating with day long headache. All in all, the symptoms are not as intense so I do feel I’m on the road to recovery. I always have the unsteadiness that a big wave is around the corner and can come on at any time. I’m doing my best to take one day, even one hour at a time. That’s what I have found to be the best approach. I think about the future a lot too. One day I will be over all of this and my wife and kids will truly see the real me again. That thought alone drives me and can’t wait for all of this to be behind me. I’m more than happy to answer any question to the best of my ability. I love talking to people that have shared in this process.

[Shep]

On 12/26/2019 at 1:22 AM, ChapNasty said:

All in all, the symptoms are not as intense so I do feel I’m on the road to recovery.

 

Wonderful update, CN. 

[Shep]

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[ChapNasty]

How long should I abstain from drinking alcohol? I would love a nice cold beer or cocktail with my wife on Valentine’s Day. Is this a terrible idea? I haven’t had a sip for 18 months. Any advice or knowledge of how long is a good measurement to wait on consuming alcoholic beverages after your last dose.  

[Armorall]

I wouldn't. I see people getting thrown into waves over cold medicine and alcohol. But, there are plenty that eventually can tolerate wine, or have been drinking beer through their entire WD. I was someone who abstained from alcohol most of the time anyway (drank through my 20's, then got "healthy" in my 30s and only had occasional drinks, then I didn't like drinking because the next day I would feel like I needed to sleep the whole day- even from just one martini or cider). 

Just my two cents, but not worth it. I haven't even tried CBD oil after bothering a bunch of people about their usage, nor have I caved into buying any of the TES machines out of fear of  getting worse (and although there are great reviews for both mediums, I always find the post of the person who has used either and have been in a wave for several months from trying it). You can always do a search on the website and see how other people are doing with their alcohol usage, too, if that helps. 

[Leo1983]

I had a few last night. It does ramp anxiety up and it does cloud your head more the next day. 

 

I decided once a week or one in 2 weeks i would have a night that i enjoyed. I was sick of sitting waiting for the miracle to land one morning. 

 

I guess its a choice you have to make. 

 

Enjoy yourself as soon as you feel you can!

[sunnysideup69]

5 hours ago, ChapNasty said:

How long should I abstain from drinking alcohol? I would love a nice cold beer or cocktail with my wife on Valentine’s Day. Is this a terrible idea? I haven’t had a sip for 18 months. Any advice or knowledge of how long is a good measurement to wait on consuming alcoholic beverages after your last dose.  

 

The thing is, nobody knows. It could set you back any amount of time, or not at all, and anything in between those extremes.And you just can't go by anyone else's experience...each of our nervous systems are so different.

Sorry, there's no easy answer.

[Shelton]

@ChapNasty, how are you doing? I’m a wife, mom to a 4 1/2 month old baby and like you, my family is what is driving me to feel better. They do not deserve this 😭

 

How did you cope or get through this? I feel awful. 

[Phoenixmama]

@chapnasty how are you , i would love to hear how your doing