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puthappinessfirst: starting the fight


puthappinessfirst

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Hey Happiness! I see you are dropping again! Good luck! You can do it! ❤️

Originally at 100 mg Zoloft and 150 mg xl Wellbutrin for ten years. 

Abruptly dropped 50 mg of Zoloft April 2018.

Cut Wellbutrin in half (75 mg) for a month in December 2018.

Cold turkeyed Wellbutrin January 2019.

Reinstated Wellbutrin half of 150 xl (75 mg) in January 2019 and added Xanax.

ER visit iv of 5 mg Haloperidol.

Finished Xanax taper, cold turkeyed Wellbutrin February 2019 and added 10 mg buspar twice daily.

Tapering buspar

 

50 mg Zoloft at 10:00 am

 

2.5 mg buspar at 9:00 pm 

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puthappinessfirst

I will be next week if all goes according to plan, @Hannahe

Won't be doing a full 10% but closer to 5%-ish. 

Don't wanna get too drop-happy before I'm ready! 

I work full time and can't afford to get super sick and incapacitated. 

 

Thank you for the luck ❤️ 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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13 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

I will be next week if all goes according to plan, @Hannahe

Won't be doing a full 10% but closer to 5%-ish. 

Don't wanna get too drop-happy before I'm ready! 

I work full time and can't afford to get super sick and incapacitated. 

 

Thank you for the luck ❤️ 

Yes do what you can and of course! 

Originally at 100 mg Zoloft and 150 mg xl Wellbutrin for ten years. 

Abruptly dropped 50 mg of Zoloft April 2018.

Cut Wellbutrin in half (75 mg) for a month in December 2018.

Cold turkeyed Wellbutrin January 2019.

Reinstated Wellbutrin half of 150 xl (75 mg) in January 2019 and added Xanax.

ER visit iv of 5 mg Haloperidol.

Finished Xanax taper, cold turkeyed Wellbutrin February 2019 and added 10 mg buspar twice daily.

Tapering buspar

 

50 mg Zoloft at 10:00 am

 

2.5 mg buspar at 9:00 pm 

Link to post
puthappinessfirst

How are you feeling, @Hannahe

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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2 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

How are you feeling, @Hannahe

Akathisia type feelings on and off. It has me in a bunch. I feel like I’m lost in the echo. So many people have different things to say about it, like now I have a condition all on its own besides the withdrawal. Makes me feel hopeless. It’s been tough. 

 

You feeling good now? 

Originally at 100 mg Zoloft and 150 mg xl Wellbutrin for ten years. 

Abruptly dropped 50 mg of Zoloft April 2018.

Cut Wellbutrin in half (75 mg) for a month in December 2018.

Cold turkeyed Wellbutrin January 2019.

Reinstated Wellbutrin half of 150 xl (75 mg) in January 2019 and added Xanax.

ER visit iv of 5 mg Haloperidol.

Finished Xanax taper, cold turkeyed Wellbutrin February 2019 and added 10 mg buspar twice daily.

Tapering buspar

 

50 mg Zoloft at 10:00 am

 

2.5 mg buspar at 9:00 pm 

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puthappinessfirst
Just now, Hannahe said:

Akathisia type feelings on and off. It has me in a bunch. I feel like I’m lost in the echo. So many people have different things to say about it, like now I have a condition all on its own besides the withdrawal. Makes me feel hopeless. It’s been tough. 

 

Akathisia is a beast of its own in that not much is known about it, doctors don't understand it, and it can vary from person to person. 

Some people get inner feelings and can't stop pacing, while some only pace because they feel restless, while some only feel inner vibrations/shaking, while paranoia/terror/fear can accompany all or none. 

It's super confusing. 

I still get symptoms off and on, but it's nowhere near as bad as when I was in acute WD. 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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9 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

 

Akathisia is a beast of its own in that not much is known about it, doctors don't understand it, and it can vary from person to person. 

Some people get inner feelings and can't stop pacing, while some only pace because they feel restless, while some only feel inner vibrations/shaking, while paranoia/terror/fear can accompany all or none. 

It's super confusing. 

I still get symptoms off and on, but it's nowhere near as bad as when I was in acute WD. 

It’s so frightening. I’m still on drugs so it makes me feel like I will never shake it and be free. 

Originally at 100 mg Zoloft and 150 mg xl Wellbutrin for ten years. 

Abruptly dropped 50 mg of Zoloft April 2018.

Cut Wellbutrin in half (75 mg) for a month in December 2018.

Cold turkeyed Wellbutrin January 2019.

Reinstated Wellbutrin half of 150 xl (75 mg) in January 2019 and added Xanax.

ER visit iv of 5 mg Haloperidol.

Finished Xanax taper, cold turkeyed Wellbutrin February 2019 and added 10 mg buspar twice daily.

Tapering buspar

 

50 mg Zoloft at 10:00 am

 

2.5 mg buspar at 9:00 pm 

Link to post
puthappinessfirst
1 minute ago, Hannahe said:

It’s so frightening. I’m still on drugs so it makes me feel like I will never shake it and be free. 

 

They key is to taper slowly and safely. 

Don't make abrupt changes. 

You should find Fresh on here. They had severe akathisia and it went away. 

You won't have it forever, just like I won't. 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • Moderator Emeritus
35 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

I will be next week if all goes according to plan, @Hannahe

Won't be doing a full 10% but closer to 5%-ish. 

Don't wanna get too drop-happy before I'm ready! 

I work full time and can't afford to get super sick and incapacitated. 

 

Thank you for the luck ❤️ 

 

Hi Happiness, 

 

Wishing you all the best with your next drop.  Glad to hear you’re not getting drop happy before you’re ready. I dropped again on Sunday too.

 

Sending hugs🤗

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things. Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. Can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the ward and was given different meds. Tapered off one and have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been many, many years of tapering so far.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April=7 mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ August 28=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ October 21=6mg/ December 16=5.80mg/.   January 21 2020=5.60mg/April 2=5.40g/ May 29=5.20mg/ August 14= 5mg/ September 29=4.80mg/ Jan 31, 2021=4.60 mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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puthappinessfirst

Hi @Carmie my friend ❤️ 

 

I have been really enjoying reading your updates. 

All the animal and friend outings seems so fun! I am so happy you're getting out. 

Maybe one day you'll be able to show me around Australia as well! 

 

hugs!

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • Moderator Emeritus
6 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

Hi @Carmie my friend ❤️ 

 

I have been really enjoying reading your updates. 

All the animal and friend outings seems so fun! I am so happy you're getting out. 

Maybe one day you'll be able to show me around Australia as well! 

 

hugs!

 

I’m glad you’ve been enjoying the updates Happiness, 

 

I’m a massive fan of nature and animals, it always brightens my day. Yes, and my friends are amazing and lots of fun. We all have such different personalities and it’s wonderful doing different things with different friends. Everyone has different things that they like to do and I’m all for new experiences and adventures. 

 

I love doing things on my own too, just hopping on a bus and going to explore somewhere. I want to go to an art exhibition next time I have a little bit of energy. I’ll go on my own so I can chill and take my time. 

 

Take care💚

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things. Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. Can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the ward and was given different meds. Tapered off one and have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been many, many years of tapering so far.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April=7 mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ August 28=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ October 21=6mg/ December 16=5.80mg/.   January 21 2020=5.60mg/April 2=5.40g/ May 29=5.20mg/ August 14= 5mg/ September 29=4.80mg/ Jan 31, 2021=4.60 mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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14 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

 

They key is to taper slowly and safely. 

Don't make abrupt changes. 

You should find Fresh on here. They had severe akathisia and it went away. 

You won't have it forever, just like I won't. 

Yeah I screwed up. Cut half my dose and then cold turkeyed another med. it’s been six months 🤷🏻‍♀️

Originally at 100 mg Zoloft and 150 mg xl Wellbutrin for ten years. 

Abruptly dropped 50 mg of Zoloft April 2018.

Cut Wellbutrin in half (75 mg) for a month in December 2018.

Cold turkeyed Wellbutrin January 2019.

Reinstated Wellbutrin half of 150 xl (75 mg) in January 2019 and added Xanax.

ER visit iv of 5 mg Haloperidol.

Finished Xanax taper, cold turkeyed Wellbutrin February 2019 and added 10 mg buspar twice daily.

Tapering buspar

 

50 mg Zoloft at 10:00 am

 

2.5 mg buspar at 9:00 pm 

Link to post
puthappinessfirst

@Hannahe

 

It's ok. I cold turkey'd my med of 10+ years, reinstated, then tried a different med at 2x the dose, then had to switch back to my original med because the new one I tried triggered akathisia. 

It has been 6 months for me as well. It's a very long process that none of us signed up for. 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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6 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

@Hannahe

 

It's ok. I cold turkey'd my med of 10+ years, reinstated, then tried a different med at 2x the dose, then had to switch back to my original med because the new one I tried triggered akathisia. 

It has been 6 months for me as well. It's a very long process that none of us signed up for. 

😞😞😞 

 

i hope the process ends with us coming out of the dark tunnel with no issues and able to live a joyful life. 

Originally at 100 mg Zoloft and 150 mg xl Wellbutrin for ten years. 

Abruptly dropped 50 mg of Zoloft April 2018.

Cut Wellbutrin in half (75 mg) for a month in December 2018.

Cold turkeyed Wellbutrin January 2019.

Reinstated Wellbutrin half of 150 xl (75 mg) in January 2019 and added Xanax.

ER visit iv of 5 mg Haloperidol.

Finished Xanax taper, cold turkeyed Wellbutrin February 2019 and added 10 mg buspar twice daily.

Tapering buspar

 

50 mg Zoloft at 10:00 am

 

2.5 mg buspar at 9:00 pm 

Link to post
puthappinessfirst
2 minutes ago, Hannahe said:

i hope the process ends with us coming out of the dark tunnel with no issues and able to live a joyful life. 

 

It will, we just have to be patient, reduce stress, and do things that are productive/healthy. 

If you're having days where it's less severe/not too bad then that's a good thing.

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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8 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

 

It will, we just have to be patient, reduce stress, and do things that are productive/healthy. 

If you're having days where it's less severe/not too bad then that's a good thing.

Yeah I do have those days. I hope it means I can stabalize on these doses before I go further.

Originally at 100 mg Zoloft and 150 mg xl Wellbutrin for ten years. 

Abruptly dropped 50 mg of Zoloft April 2018.

Cut Wellbutrin in half (75 mg) for a month in December 2018.

Cold turkeyed Wellbutrin January 2019.

Reinstated Wellbutrin half of 150 xl (75 mg) in January 2019 and added Xanax.

ER visit iv of 5 mg Haloperidol.

Finished Xanax taper, cold turkeyed Wellbutrin February 2019 and added 10 mg buspar twice daily.

Tapering buspar

 

50 mg Zoloft at 10:00 am

 

2.5 mg buspar at 9:00 pm 

Link to post
puthappinessfirst

My sleep is starting to level off and return to normal, thank goodness!

The last 2 nights I have fallen asleep at my usual time with no waking until right before my alarm. 

If the disturbed sleep/extra anxiety and fear/extra cortisol was due to my drop, then it would seem that my drops hit me 2 weeks after reduction. 

I did not experience immediate effects from my 10% reduction. 

We will see if this is correct once I do my next drop. 

My next drop is scheduled for sometime next week and I will be going from 9mg to 8.5mg instead of 9mg to 8.1mg

 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • Moderator Emeritus
5 hours ago, puthappinessfirst said:

My sleep is starting to level off and return to normal, thank goodness!

The last 2 nights I have fallen asleep at my usual time with no waking until right before my alarm. 

If the disturbed sleep/extra anxiety and fear/extra cortisol was due to my drop, then it would seem that my drops hit me 2 weeks after reduction. 

I did not experience immediate effects from my 10% reduction. 

We will see if this is correct once I do my next drop.

 

 

This is great news PHF, it is always such a relief when the waves start to pass and a window arrives. I have described it as jumping into a cold swimming pool on a hot day. 

 

It is quite typical for there to be a delay between making a drop and symptoms starting. I usually feel mild symptoms from 3-4 days into a reduction, with them peaking anywhere between week 1-3, before evening out in weeks 4-5. I will then often wait an additional week or two, just to enjoy the relief of stability and to give my nervous system a chance to relax. 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I can only provide information and make suggestions.

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puthappinessfirst

Thanks, @eymen23! Good to know what you've experienced.

 

How is your Lexapro taper going?? 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • Moderator Emeritus
10 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

How is your Lexapro taper going?? 

 

It is going smoothly at present. I have recently reduced to 3.2mg and have been feeling mostly well for the past 4 weeks or so. 

 

Some minor waves since the recent reduction, but nothing I haven’t experienced during previous reductions. 

 

I am happy to keep tapering at a slow and steady pace. Tapering was such a scary prospect back in January, I just hope it continues to go smoothly. 

Edited by eymen23

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I can only provide information and make suggestions.

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puthappinessfirst

That's so awesome, @eymen23! What dosage did you start at? I can't remember. 

Are you doing 5% drops or a variation? 

I am so glad to hear that things are going pretty well for you, definitely an inspiration! 

Especially since you're on my meds stronger sibling. 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • Moderator Emeritus
15 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

That's so awesome, @eymen23! What dosage did you start at? I can't remember. 

Are you doing 5% drops or a variation? 

I am so glad to hear that things are going pretty well for you, definitely an inspiration! 

 

Thank you for the kind words. I am still fairly new to the game as it were, as I began tapering from 5mg back in January. Some of the other moderators (and indeed members) have done incredibly well and have finished tapering. There are so many inspiring people here on the site. 

 

I started with two 10% drops, but since then they have been 3-7% drops. I try to drop based on how I’m feeling and what is going on in my life. If my schedule looks quite relaxed I would be tempted to taper by 5-7%, but if it’s busier I’m happy to hold or to taper by 3-5%. 

 

My feeling is that it is a marathon and not a sprint, and if one can listen to their body and nervous system, they can slowly reduce their drug burden whilst living a relatively symptom-free life. Of course things aren’t so straightforward for everyone (such as those who are advised to fast taper or cold turkey by their doctor), but I think there is hope for everyone as long as they can be patient and trust in the process.

 

Good luck with your tapering and when times are tough, try to remember how symptoms can suddenly disappear and life can ease up again. 

Edited by eymen23

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I can only provide information and make suggestions.

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  • 2 weeks later...
puthappinessfirst

It's been a week since I tapered from 9 to 8.5

My eye twitch is back, which seems like something that will follow me through wd. 

My vision, in general, is horrible, but wd seems to make it worse. 

Blurry vision and lots of floaters. It can be very distracting. 

I've had a slight uptick in fear/anxiety, but that seems to be expected. 

Maybe slightly more irritable. 

Nothing else to report on yet. Just still pushing along.

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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puthappinessfirst

Some updates.

 

Yesterday and the day or two before my anxiety ramped up like crazy. 

Racing thoughts, lots of fear, interrupted sleep, just feeling scared and anxious and creepy all around. 

I realized it had been around 2 weeks since my drop and that's when I experienced some symptoms last time. 

So seems like this may be my "pattern." 

 

The anxiety has leveled off today, but feeling a bit woozy but also heavy headed. 

I am taking a mini vacation in a couple days and will be away from work for a total of 5 days.

I think it's exactly what I need. 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi puthappinessfirst, Hope things have settled for you and your vacation was relaxing and healing. Best wishes for you, glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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puthappinessfirst

So, it's been a really hard week.

 

On the 6th my family dog passed and my parents and I are all so depressed and heartbroken. I had her since I was about 9 or 10 years old and she was going to be 19 next month. It's been devastating. 

 

I've also been going through a hefty amount of work stress. This hasn't helped my state, obviously. 

 

It was my birthday on the 7th and I had a wonderful and long awaited overnight getaway with my mom, but obviously, we were talking about my dog half the time, so while it was a much needed, relaxing getaway, it still had a melancholy air to it. I did thoroughly enjoy my quality time with my mom though. She's my rock.

 

The night we got home, on the 8th, I crashed hard. Definitely from stress. I felt like I was back in the beginning stages of my wd/adverse reaction. All I could do was lay in bed and cry, shake with anxiety. My thoughts were racing and hard to grasp and everything felt overstimulating. There have been windows and waves since my most recent drop but all the cumulative stress just totally made me crash. 

 

I plan to hold through the beginning of September as I know I cant think of dropping anytime soon and I have an important event to go to at the beginning of September. So I'll be at 8.5mg until then. 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Happiness, 

 

I’m really sorry hearing about your dog passing away. We love our animals so much but they don’t live as long as us and it’s always heartbreaking. I’ve shed many tears over beloved animals. 

 

Are you still in a crash or are you feeling a little better? 

 

Sending hugs your way🤗

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things. Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. Can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the ward and was given different meds. Tapered off one and have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been many, many years of tapering so far.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April=7 mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ August 28=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ October 21=6mg/ December 16=5.80mg/.   January 21 2020=5.60mg/April 2=5.40g/ May 29=5.20mg/ August 14= 5mg/ September 29=4.80mg/ Jan 31, 2021=4.60 mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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puthappinessfirst

Hi, @Carmie

Thank you so much for dropping in.

 

I am coming out of my crash it finally seems.

The whole month of August has been very stressful with a lot of crappy moments, but I think I am finally pulling through. 

I still plan to hold until mid September at least as I have a trip coming up next weekend and a new job the week after that. 

My next move will be to try a slide for my next drop. 

 

Not sure why I crashed so hard after my 5% drop at the end of July.

Maybe I didn't leave enough time between drops or something. 

Or maybe since I am already below 10mg, straight drops instead of slides are hard on me. 

All the stress this month certainly didn't help.

It's always a guessing game. 

 

I hope your most recent drop treats you kindly :)

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, puthappinessfirst said:

Hi, @Carmie

Thank you so much for dropping in.

 

I am coming out of my crash it finally seems.

The whole month of August has been very stressful with a lot of crappy moments, but I think I am finally pulling through. 

I still plan to hold until mid September at least as I have a trip coming up next weekend and a new job the week after that. 

My next move will be to try a slide for my next drop. 

 

Not sure why I crashed so hard after my 5% drop at the end of July.

Maybe I didn't leave enough time between drops or something. 

Or maybe since I am already below 10mg, straight drops instead of slides are hard on me. 

All the stress this month certainly didn't help.

It's always a guessing game. 

 

I hope your most recent drop treats you kindly :)

 

It's definitely a guessing game! But it's not an unusual pattern for people to make a few drops and then kind of find that they've gotten ahead of their body's ability to restore itself. I think I read Brassmonkey saying it's like the CNS has a "to do" list with each drop and that list gets longer each time you drop and sometimes it gets too long for the healing to catch up. So the best thing then is to take a longer hold. I think the Brassmonkey Slide method has those holds built in, but there's no rule saying you can't just go ahead and take intermittent longer holds whenever you find things getting a little wobblier than you like, even if you're not using that method. I have always found intermittent longer holds to be helpful. And it's smart to do that when you have new stressors coming up in your life.

 

You're doing great. You'll figure out what your patterns are and you'll be able to weave tapering into your life in a way that lets you still move on with life. And with more practice you will really be able to minimize the suffering. Keep on keeping on! :)

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to post
puthappinessfirst
7 minutes ago, Rhiannon said:

It's definitely a guessing game! But it's not an unusual pattern for people to make a few drops and then kind of find that they've gotten ahead of their body's ability to restore itself. I think I read Brassmonkey saying it's like the CNS has a "to do" list with each drop and that list gets longer each time you drop and sometimes it gets too long for the healing to catch up. So the best thing then is to take a longer hold. I think the Brassmonkey Slide method has those holds built in, but there's no rule saying you can't just go ahead and take intermittent longer holds whenever you find things getting a little wobblier than you like, even if you're not using that method. I have always found intermittent longer holds to be helpful. And it's smart to do that when you have new stressors coming up in your life.

 

You're doing great. You'll figure out what your patterns are and you'll be able to weave tapering into your life in a way that lets you still move on with life. And with more practice you will really be able to minimize the suffering. Keep on keeping on! :)

 

Thank you, Rhi!

Don't think I have ever posted on your thread but I always followed what you posted closely as I saw you were on on Celexa too and very helpful to others/methodical in your tapers. 

 

Your words have really encouraged me today, so thank you for that! 

❤️ 

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

Link to post
intothewoods
On 8/28/2019 at 11:34 AM, puthappinessfirst said:

All the stress this month certainly didn't help

 

Congrats @puthappinessfirst that a big stress ends today!!! And then the bliss of respite. You made both things happen and are winning this fight!

 

Cheering you on as always, knowing big, beautiful curves await with you at the helm ⛰️.

* Prozac: 40 mg 1999-2012; 60 mg 2012-March 2018; 50 mg April 2018 to present.

* Provigil: 25-100 mg PRN 2005 to mid-2015; 200-300 mg mid-2015 to early 2016; tapered from 300 mg in early 2016 to 100 mg early 2017; tapered from 100 mg early 2017 to 31 mg June 15, 2019; 29 mg at present.

* Amitriptyline: 10-15 mg 2002-2013; 25 mg 2014 to December 5, 2018; December 15, 2018 converted to water suspension and tapered to 22 1/2 mg at present.

* Valium: 5 mg at night 2002-present

 Supplements: Magnesium; Iron for anemia

 

Back Story: From 2012 thru early 2017, relocated and cycled through over 20 primary and psych docs (supposedly for severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) who prescribed two dozen different psych meds in search of the "perfect therapeutic combo." Took most for only a few days, some for a week. Included Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Lexapro, Seroquel, Lamictal, Klonopin, Lyrica, Gabapentin, Belsomra, Tramadol, Librium, Halcyon, Remeron and -- the last straw, Trintellix. Began in early 2016 when it was still called Brintellix (Pharma's attempt to combine the words "brilliance" and "intelligence" in a pill name), became unable to eat or sleep, lost 25 lbs and the ability to speak. Slowly tapered myself back to Prozac by 2017 but was unable to stop akathisia, cortisol mornings and kindling which continue, actively, through present.

Link to post
puthappinessfirst

Loving you, @intothewoods

 

Our roadtrip awaits us!

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus
On 8/29/2019 at 1:34 AM, puthappinessfirst said:

Hi, @Carmie

Thank you so much for dropping in.

 

I am coming out of my crash it finally seems.

The whole month of August has been very stressful with a lot of crappy moments, but I think I am finally pulling through. 

I still plan to hold until mid September at least as I have a trip coming up next weekend and a new job the week after that. 

My next move will be to try a slide for my next drop. 

 

Not sure why I crashed so hard after my 5% drop at the end of July.

Maybe I didn't leave enough time between drops or something. 

Or maybe since I am already below 10mg, straight drops instead of slides are hard on me. 

All the stress this month certainly didn't help.

It's always a guessing game. 

 

I hope your most recent drop treats you kindly :)

 

Hi Happiness,

 

I’m glad you’re coming out of your crash. I’m only tapering by small amounts too, but I find if I don’t leave enough time between tapers things get considerably worse. I made that mistake many a time before I learnt about tapering. Sometimes even if you think you’ve given yourself enough time it can still catch up to us. Our poor brains are really struggling ever so hard to repair themselves. 

 

My recent drop isn’t going too badly, thanks for asking. It’s exactly two weeks since I’ve made the drop. I’ve had some waves but still have mainly windows. Just very restless. 

 

Are you going to continue to do straight drops or are you going to opt for slides in the future. I haven’t done the slides as yet, but I may do them down the track. Just taking a day at a time and making decisions as I go along.

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things. Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. Can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the ward and was given different meds. Tapered off one and have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been many, many years of tapering so far.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April=7 mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ August 28=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ October 21=6mg/ December 16=5.80mg/.   January 21 2020=5.60mg/April 2=5.40g/ May 29=5.20mg/ August 14= 5mg/ September 29=4.80mg/ Jan 31, 2021=4.60 mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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  • 2 months later...
sunnysideup69

Hi Happiness,

How ya doing? Was here before as Ruthmcg, mods kindly let me change name for anonymity. Just dropped by to see how you are doing? I see August was tough, how have your last two months been? 

Sending good wishes x

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 200mg Magnesium Glycinate

 

 

 

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puthappinessfirst
2 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Hi Happiness,

How ya doing? Was here before as Ruthmcg, mods kindly let me change name for anonymity. Just dropped by to see how you are doing? I see August was tough, how have your last two months been? 

Sending good wishes x

 

Hi there! Thank you for stopping by.

 

August was very hard indeed. September was stressful too. In August my dog of 17 years passed away and it just really messed up me and my whole family. September I was MOH in my friend's wedding and it wasn't an easy process. I also started a new job. 

 

I've had good and bad days, windows and waves, as most people do. I am ready to taper soon though, so have that to look forward to. I think it'll go fine, overall. I'm trying not to think too deeply about it. 

 

But anyway, I'm here, surviving, working, with a regular sleep schedule and great support system and friends, so I'm blessed in those regards. 

 

How are you??

Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT

No meds: June 2018 to December 2018

PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks

Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction

Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019

June 24, 2019: 9mg

July 22, 2019: 8.5mg

Jan 8, 2020: 8mg

Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil

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  • 1 month later...
sunnysideup69

@puthappinessfirst, woah, sorry, I thought I'd answered your question...I'm a bit late!

 

Well, I'm gradually stabilizing after a med switch, since November things have generally calmed down a bit. But am a way off tapering yet.

Like you, I'm surviving, working part time, beginning to enjoy my job again, getting better amount of sleep, concentrating on nutrition and self care and beginning to socialise again.

Teetotal since April 2019.

 

Life has been a bit stressful in my family , also, since August, but I'm still managing to slowly stabilise, through it all. Just trying to appreciate the little steps forward of progress. Have just emerged from a 10 day wave and am glad to be out of that, squeezing enjoyment out of the windows when they come :)

 

How are you doing?

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 200mg Magnesium Glycinate

 

 

 

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