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Kronos18: Lexapro withdrawal


Kronos18

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Day 3 without CBD after 2 days of use.Digestion improved a bit, one thing that scares me is the emotional blunting, an increase in DR/DP more like a high feeling on weed and some PSSD.I just can’t feel happiness any more like i used to.neither sadness or anger.The scale I can feel them is somewhere around 2-3/10, before CBD i was somewhere around 7/10.Now this thing really scares me.Feels like a permanent thing, I hope it’s really not.The only things i can feel is a sense of sadness and hopelessness.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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At any time Alto , this website helped me so much to understand what is happening to me and how to adjust to the situation.I cant wait to write my success story, I have so much to say.

Hi  friend, i'm sorry for what is happening to us and the rest of people on SA, we dont deserve this. Well, first progress I saw was around month 11-12, small progress but it was something.Then i

I thank to you, Altostrata, and to the moderators for helping so many people who are suffering bad during the time of withdrawal, you are doing such a great job.

Learn to sit with that feeling. It has taken me 20 month to start and feel something again. Small however it was not permanent.

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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@Altostrata @Shep @eymen23 @ChessieCat I’m sorry for insistint so much, but I am concerned about this situation.Since I took the CBD oil and reacted to it, many of my symptoms worsened a lot including floaters, visual disturbances, pains, wekaness, tremors, GI issues (constipation-feeling of full, slowed digestion), dr/dp is worse, some sensivity to light and sound, tinnitus and some more.I was recovering slowly but surely and this reaction to cbd threw me in the midst of acute withdrawal, everything except anxiety has gotten worse.
Any advice would be appreciated.Thank you.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Kronos,

 

I’m very sorry to hear about your recent flare up of symptoms following trialling CBD oil, but I am super pleased to hear that you’re noticing some steady improvements and that you managed to enjoy a trip away. 
 

These kinds of negative reactions to supplements and other substances during withdrawal are common. We often note that the nervous system becomes destabilised during withdrawal and once this happens, we can have unexpected (and sometimes severe) reactions to things which would usually be harmless or even helpful. 
 

Once the nervous system becomes sensitive, it’s difficult to predict how it will react to substances and situations. Imagine finding a wild animal that is extremely distressed versus one that is domesticated and has been raised happily. It’s very hard to predict how the wild animal would react to being greeted or touched (and more than likely it wouldn’t go well), even though this is intended to be harmless and innocent. It is a similar story with sensitive nervous systems, in that they can be ‘set off’ by things that are very ordinary in the context of daily life. 
 

Of course, it will very be difficult to guess how long this flare up of symptoms will last, but it’s very unlikely you have gone back to square one. Members often have adverse reactions to anaesthetic, antibiotics, steroids, alcohol, pain killers etc. and although sometimes these bad reactions persist beyond just the time they ingest these substances, the symptoms do tend to start to fade away again in days/weeks, rather than months/years like withdrawal itself. 
 

I’m hopeful you’ll be back to a good place in your recovery again before long. 
 

Take care of yourself and although it’s difficult, try not to add the additional stress of worrying about how long this will last. Instead, please try to focus on self-care and being hopeful about enjoying more of the future. 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I can only provide information and make suggestions.

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58 minutes ago, eymen23 said:

Hi Kronos,

 

I’m very sorry to hear about your recent flare up of symptoms following trialling CBD oil, but I am super pleased to hear that you’re noticing some steady improvements and that you managed to enjoy a trip away. 
 

These kinds of negative reactions to supplements and other substances during withdrawal are common. We often note that the nervous system becomes destabilised during withdrawal and once this happens, we can have unexpected (and sometimes severe) reactions to things which would usually be harmless or even helpful. 
 

Once the nervous system becomes sensitive, it’s difficult to predict how it will react to substances and situations. Imagine finding a wild animal that is extremely distressed versus one that is domesticated and has been raised happily. It’s very hard to predict how the wild animal would react to being greeted or touched (and more than likely it wouldn’t go well), even though this is intended to be harmless and innocent. It is a similar story with sensitive nervous systems, in that they can be ‘set off’ by things that are very ordinary in the context of daily life. 
 

Of course, it will very be difficult to guess how long this flare up of symptoms will last, but it’s very unlikely you have gone back to square one. Members often have adverse reactions to anaesthetic, antibiotics, steroids, alcohol, pain killers etc. and although sometimes these bad reactions persist beyond just the time they ingest these substances, the symptoms do tend to start to fade away again in days/weeks, rather than months/years like withdrawal itself. 
 

I’m hopeful you’ll be back to a good place in your recovery again before long. 
 

Take care of yourself and although it’s difficult, try not to add the additional stress of worrying about how long this will last. Instead, please try to focus on self-care and being hopeful about enjoying more of the future. 

Hi Eymen, 

First of all thank you for replying.You are right with the reactions, as anything can ramp up our withdrawal symptoms.Stress is our biggest enemy in withdrawal, as it ramps up our destabilized CNS, making the symptoms a lot more pronounced.I consider myself one very unlucky case around here, still battling the symptoms hard at almost one year out.Ofcourse I improved, a lot of symptoms improved, my concern goes to the physical and visual  symptoms  which doesn’t seem to let up.This process is slow and frustrating, and the fact that I have a lot of symptoms that many people here got past in the first months makes me think that there might be actually something wrong with me.I guess it’s anxiety for the most part( fear of not getting better).From what i’ve seen on this website the best way of having a smooth withdrawal is :

Low stress

Diet

Good sleep
Sometimes is hard to keep up with them but I try to stick no matter what.I hope I will recover soon from this so called setback and be back on the road of recovery.

Thank you, Eymen.

 

 

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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Hello.
I was wondering if anyone still has a lot of issues after one year in withdrawal.

Seems like my condition is very bad now, i atribute it to the CBD oil as I was improving.My physical symptoms are worse again, POTS, weakness, head pressure, vibration feeling in face head and body, faint feeling, eye pressure, diziness and lightheadness, visual disturbances( visual snow, aftetimages, trails, some sort of skipped vision hard to explain).I was on pills for a short time and I feel very bad.My tests come back mostly normal, I need to do some more investigations such as Gut, adrenal and immune Health , also autoimmune diseases test.I tend to mention that my diet is ok, sleep now is not so good due insomnia which came back full vengance after the CBD oil.

EVERYTHING IS WORSE AFTER THE CBD OIL. 

 

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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8 hours ago, Kronos18 said:

Hello.
I was wondering if anyone still has a lot of issues after one year in withdrawal.

Seems like my condition is very bad now, i atribute it to the CBD oil as I was improving.My physical symptoms are worse again, POTS, weakness, head pressure, vibration feeling in face head and body, faint feeling, eye pressure, diziness and lightheadness, visual disturbances( visual snow, aftetimages, trails, some sort of skipped vision hard to explain).I was on pills for a short time and I feel very bad.My tests come back mostly normal, I need to do some more investigations such as Gut, adrenal and immune Health , also autoimmune diseases test.I tend to mention that my diet is ok, sleep now is not so good due insomnia which came back full vengance after the CBD oil.

EVERYTHING IS WORSE AFTER THE CBD OIL. 

 

Hey Kronos I just wanted to throw in my two cents. I am 18 months off of a cold turkey from Cipralex/Lexapro. Things have greatly improved but lately the anxiety and insomnia have been coming quite regularly. If you are around the 1 year mark mabe it could be the 1 year wave? But another thing I want to add is about your CBD oil use. I used to be a regular cannabis consumer from high THC to pure CBD. I have had to stop all use of it as it would throw me into a bad wave every time i used it. For me the waves would last about a month. Its now been six months since I have used anything and I havent been put into a month long wave since. My waves usually only last a few days to a week now. I hope you feel better and maybe just stay away from any cannabis products. Stay strong it will end one day.

Cipralex (escitalopram) for 4.5 years

5mg/day

Decided to just stop cold turkey one day 

Last dose July 10th, 2018

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  • 1 month later...

Hey Kronos,

 

I’m also at the 12 month mark and have been struggling for 2 months after feeling majorly improved through months 8-10.  ‘This backward move coincides with a tooth infection and ingesting a course of antibiotics since from which my symptoms have ramped up to the levels I experienced in the first 6 months  and unfortunately since then I’ve hardly had a day long window.

 

I too have been fearing if Its an adverse reaction to an alien substance that the body currently  isn’t stable enough to handle and is a setback and permanent but Its equally as possible/ and more likely this is somewhat normal at the year mark and throughout the withdrawal. I think it happens to many.

 

It would be great if someone more knowledgeable could support that suggestion though??..   lol
 

Are you noticing a flare up of psychological symptoms as well as physical?

OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Wesofthewest

Maybe since you say you are having trouble with digestion, you could try taking HCL with peptin supplements. You just pop one of those with your food, and it helps you digest especially if you have low stomach acid. Hcl is stomach acid. Helped me a lot. The peptin is useful too bc it helps you absorb amino acids which are precursors to neurotransmitters. In a situation like yours where you’re not improving much I would try this. Take 1 or 2 and eat a steak or something. They have them in the digestive health section of stores that have supplements. If it gives you heartburn probably don’t take it bc that means your stomach already has enough HCL. 
 

The fact you are not seemingly digesting well is important. It all starts in the stomach!

2017 prozac 60mg

end of 2018 prozac fast taper

prozac stopped completely march 2018

 

-restarted Prozac 40mg July 2020

-prozac 60mg august-sep 2020

-stopped prozac oct 2020

-citalopram 40mg oct 2020

             supplements:

-b12 1000mcg

-vitamin d 1000 iu

-fish oil 1 capsule

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  • 2 months later...

Hello friends.

Long time, no see.I’ve chosen to stay away for a while from posting here, as it was not doing me any good, however I came back with an update on my thread.

 

It is getting better.VERY VERY VERY SLOW. A lot of ups and downs, my symptoms are mostly the same from day to day, slowly getting better.It will be a long ride for sure, I am in my 16th month of CT from lexapro 10 mg which I was on for 2 months, and 18th month of CT from Ativan 3 mg which I was on for 2 weeks.I was expecting to be long healed by now, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case for me.

 

Good news is that I even had a window of one week in which i was feeling bad only for 2h per day, the rest of it the symptoms were minimal-moderate.
Bad news is that the waves are still strong as in the begining, physical symptoms such as weakness, diziness, intense head pressure, dr/dp, vision problems, bad cognitive issues, confusion, floaters,dehydration,  visual snow, afterimages, trails, dimmed vision, bad fatigue, buzzing head, sound sensivity, neck stifness, tremors, feeling like i dont get enough blood in my hands, face numbness sometimes, swaying, infection feeling which comes and goes troughout the day and some more are still here.I’ve been having mostly waves, only some moments of feeling better, but mentally I feel like I’m better, anxiety dismished, depression is ok, anyway POTS(for those uninformed about this, is a for of dysautonomia in which heartbeat spikes above 120bpm when you stand, I get it even in bed after I eat, creating a lot of miserable physical symptoms like the ones I described earlier) is still my biggest issue along with digestion issues in waves(I feel full many hour after I eat).

 

So yeah, basically it is getting better, last year I was bedridden, this year i spend a lot of time in bed in waves which still sucks, but maybe one day it will all change.

I went to a functional medicine practitioner which tested me for a lot of things including Ig A, Ig G, Ig M, thyroid, ANA,  full blood test count.Everything came back normal (I wasn’t expecting it tho),except for cholesterol and vitamin D, which was somehow expected, as I smoke, spend a lot of time in bed, but those are easy to fix after this hell ends.

 

One of the biggest issues is that stress worsens most of my symptoms, now matter how little stress, it makes me feel like dying.

 

I am grateful that I found SA, as many people are, but I stopped posting on here, and I’m gonna tell you exactly why, no offense, many will find this upseting maybe, I dont care anyway, this is the truth.

 

THIS IS NOT A GROUP CHAT WHERE EVERYONE COMPLAINS ON ANY POST ABOUT THEIR CONDITION AND HOW THEY ENDED UP.

It’s ok to have your thread, but anyone else’s thread is not your place of complaining.

Everyone here suffers, so before you write that you are far out in withdrawal and still have anxiety, I would count it as a blessing, coming from a 23 years old guy who spent most of the time in bed since the withdrawal started, I used to train in fighting and go to the gym 5/7 days.
There are couple like me on here, and they are rare on posting too, same issues.

I am ashamed of what I can read sometimes “I drink only couple times per week and I eat mostly unhealthy food yet I still have anxiety”, excuse me for my language, but you must be an idiot to do this, especially drink and expect to be better.
 

Thanks to the moderators who make time to help people here who suffer a lot from this shame of medicine, people who want to change something, life of many is put on hold for a long time, people suffering for many many many years because they have lyme disease aswell and others condition that make withdrawal a lot harder to cope with.You are true warriors.

 

                          ***Sorry, not sorry***

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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Altostrata
6 hours ago, Kronos18 said:

slowly getting better.

 

Well, that's good news. Recovery is frustratingly slow. At least yours is going in the right direction. Regular gentle exercise probably would help.

 

As you may have noticed, we discourage people from complaining on others' Introductions topics. Depending on the personality, they may do a lot of complaining elsewhere. What can I say? This is human nature.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Administrator

Kronos, I received your PM asking about kindling, but will answer it here in your intro thread so all of your questions are answered in one place.

 

I don't know if you're technically kindled or not, but it does sound like you're dealing with a very destabilized nervous system. The fact that you're getting better - and yes, I know this is painfully slow - is a great sign that your nervous system is recovering from the trauma. 

 

You weren't on these drugs for long, but they did an incredible amount of damage. You may find this video helpful, as it speaks in the language of neuroplasticity and resiliency: 

 

Healing from antidepressants: The power of neuroplasticity video (7.5 minutes)

 

Whether you want to label the damage kindling or trauma to the nervous system, you will see improvements over time. 

 

14 hours ago, Kronos18 said:

Everyone here suffers, so before you write that you are far out in withdrawal and still have anxiety, I would count it as a blessing, coming from a 23 years old guy who spent most of the time in bed since the withdrawal started, I used to train in fighting and go to the gym 5/7 days.

 

Your background as an athlete will serve you will as you get farther into your recovery process. As you feel better, you may want to slowly "taper in" exercise. Start by taking walks and then increase the speed over time. As you're able to get into more intense exercise, you'll be able to speed up your recovery with aerobic activity that creates neurogenesis. However, intense exercise can cause setbacks, so you'll want to do this very slowly and very mindfully. 

 

Again, this is a painfully slow recovery process, but you will feel better in time. 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

Well, that's good news. Recovery is frustratingly slow. At least yours is going in the right direction. Regular gentle exercise probably would help.

 

As you may have noticed, we discourage people from complaining on others' Introductions topics. Depending on the personality, they may do a lot of complaining elsewhere. What can I say? This is human nature.

Altostrata, to be honest, this is like nothing I have experienced before.Living in your mind, this withdrawal made me realise a lot of things in my life.Paying attention to my reactions, triggers and everything made me learn a whole lot of new things about me.

You said something in the begining, not only to me, but to many people from this comunity, “Recovery is non linear, slow and frustrating”, and you were right.

 However, this withdrawal has a positive outcome aswell.I have couple friends from this comunity that I spend time with, we talk everyday, joke, play video games.

It really helps, keeping a good relation with people that are going trough the same thing, they understand you like no one can.All I can say this is a rollercoaster ride, with ups and downs, it feels like a rollercoaster that might never end but seeing a lot of people getting better including myself and people I talk to, a big substantial difference it’s the outcome of self care, such as stress reduction, sleep and food.

I can’t wait to write a success story one day, I have so many to say about this “invisible ilness”, however I changed my whole perspective about meds, doctors and pharmacy in general.They are clueless, most of them are uninformed about this condition, which leads us to many wrong diagnoses “It’s all in your head”.Maybe things will change one day, this madness, prescriptions like candies, GP’s giving antidepressants like paracetamol, psychiatric diagnoses after 10 questions and 15 minutes spent with doctor, giving this poison to people.
It’s really all about money.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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3 hours ago, Shep said:

Kronos, I received your PM asking about kindling, but will answer it here in your intro thread so all of your questions are answered in one place.

 

I don't know if you're technically kindled or not, but it does sound like you're dealing with a very destabilized nervous system. The fact that you're getting better - and yes, I know this is painfully slow - is a great sign that your nervous system is recovering from the trauma. 

 

You weren't on these drugs for long, but they did an incredible amount of damage. You may find this video helpful, as it speaks in the language of neuroplasticity and resiliency: 

 

Healing from antidepressants: The power of neuroplasticity video (7.5 minutes)

 

Whether you want to label the damage kindling or trauma to the nervous system, you will see improvements over time. 

 

 

Your background as an athlete will serve you will as you get farther into your recovery process. As you feel better, you may want to slowly "taper in" exercise. Start by taking walks and then increase the speed over time. As you're able to get into more intense exercise, you'll be able to speed up your recovery with aerobic activity that creates neurogenesis. However, intense exercise can cause setbacks, so you'll want to do this very slowly and very mindfully. 

 

Again, this is a painfully slow recovery process, but you will feel better in time. 

Shep, thank you for anawering my PM.I’m not so familiar with kindling, from what I have understood kindling it’s the outcome of playing with dosages, up and down.

It’s the lack of much progress and my phisical condition that concerns me the most, but I can’t deny, I am not bedridden any more, this is a reassurance that things will get much better with self care and patience.

Recovery is slow and painful, like they say in the video “It feels like you are runing in circle; but healing happens all the time, even if it doesn’t feel like.I’ve read most info in the self care topic, including “the importance of recognising you are feeling good” which I find motivating for the future outcome.
I had one week of feeling better, which motivated me a lot, I felt more like myself, went out most of the day, spent time with friends and even exagerated it a bit by riding my motorcycle again for some hours, which destabilised me a bit and triggered a wave, but overall I felt a lot better, It was really my first true long window.It felt so strange, Ijust woke up one day and felt better than usual, went out and everything was feeling better.

I usually take walks when I can, sometimes I feel to bad to do it but I walk around the house, backyard, spend time with my dogs, clean the car which I consider a form of gentle exercise.

It’s so frustrating that we have gotten here because of the doctors and pharma we used to trust, but the lesson is learned.

 

 

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Thanks so much for posting again, Kronos. You've learned many things that the others in the community will appreciate.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 5/7/2020 at 8:19 PM, Altostrata said:

Thanks so much for posting again, Kronos. You've learned many things that the others in the community will appreciate.

I thank to you, Altostrata, and to the moderators for helping so many people who are suffering bad during the time of withdrawal, you are doing such a great job.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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  • 1 month later...

Oh man.

5:17AM here, just came from outside, been at a pool party with my friends.

Sitting and reading some of my posts from last year.Gosh, the first year of withdrawal was the hardest thing ive been trough in my life.Withdrawing from psychiatric drugs is truthly a life altering experience, but in the end you learn so many things from it.You learn to enjoy things differently, every little moment counts.

I wish I could tell you guys that im healed but symptoms are still lingering.Some are gone, some are better, some come and go.

But man, things are really better.Last year in these times I was bedridden, been in that dark place for soooo long, as many still are but guys, I need to mention in again, Alto and the moderators were soooo right, this thing is so slooow and frustrating.I could never ever believe that I will be normal again, but here I am, almost 20 months CT from Lorazepam and 18 months CT from Lexapro, I can feel more happiness, mental stuff is much better, physical stuff better but still cant live a normal life.

Patience is really the key here, and self care is making a huuuge difference.

 

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF HEALS YOU.

NEGLECGTING YOURSELF OF YOUR SENSIBLE STATE KEEPS YOU IN THE DARK PLACE.

 

 

Symptoms lingering:

-POTS (Weakness, diziness, swaying, faint feeling, pains, numbness etc) better, I can do more things, I am out with my friends most of the day now.

-Erections and sexual attractions much better.

-Internal vibrations better

-DR/DP better

-Visual disturbances(Snow, blurry, disorted vision etc) better, but this bad.

-Anxiety better

-Depression a lot better.

-I can feel more emotions now, but they are starting to feel more "normal".

-Cortisol rushes better, still bad.

Most of them are slowly getting better, sooo slow.

 

I still cant handle stress tho, which sucks and triggers me, but it got better.

 

Things that helped me go get to this place:

-Stress reduction which I personally found the most most important.

-NO DRUGS(ANTIBIOTICS, flu drugs, NO NO NO MATTER WHICH KIND)

-Sleep, as much as you need to.

-Learn to accept and let go of how you feel, realising it is temporary (I couldn't do it the first year, I was feeling very bad, but as soon as you start to feel better and better you trust the process more.PATIENCE)

-Eating somehow normal

-Reassurance is just withdrawal (full blood test count, hormones, MRI, EEG etc.)

 

Many people close to me told me that ive changed, in a very good way, I need to find myself again now, I cant wait to heal and be the best version of ME.

 

I believe in myself more and more again, I trust the process now, I feel REBORN.

 

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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Itzakadoozee
17 hours ago, Kronos18 said:

Oh man.

5:17AM here, just came from outside, been at a pool party with my friends.

Sitting and reading some of my posts from last year.Gosh, the first year of withdrawal was the hardest thing ive been trough in my life.Withdrawing from psychiatric drugs is truthly a life altering experience, but in the end you learn so many things from it.You learn to enjoy things differently, every little moment counts.

I wish I could tell you guys that im healed but symptoms are still lingering.Some are gone, some are better, some come and go.

But man, things are really better.Last year in these times I was bedridden, been in that dark place for soooo long, as many still are but guys, I need to mention in again, Alto and the moderators were soooo right, this thing is so slooow and frustrating.I could never ever believe that I will be normal again, but here I am, almost 20 months CT from Lorazepam and 18 months CT from Lexapro, I can feel more happiness, mental stuff is much better, physical stuff better but still cant live a normal life.

Patience is really the key here, and self care is making a huuuge difference.

 

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF HEALS YOU.

NEGLECGTING YOURSELF OF YOUR SENSIBLE STATE KEEPS YOU IN THE DARK PLACE.

 

 

Symptoms lingering:

-POTS (Weakness, diziness, swaying, faint feeling, pains, numbness etc) better, I can do more things, I am out with my friends most of the day now.

-Erections and sexual attractions much better.

-Internal vibrations better

-DR/DP better

-Visual disturbances(Snow, blurry, disorted vision etc) better, but this bad.

-Anxiety better

-Depression a lot better.

-I can feel more emotions now, but they are starting to feel more "normal".

-Cortisol rushes better, still bad.

Most of them are slowly getting better, sooo slow.

 

I still cant handle stress tho, which sucks and triggers me, but it got better.

 

Things that helped me go get to this place:

-Stress reduction which I personally found the most most important.

-NO DRUGS(ANTIBIOTICS, flu drugs, NO NO NO MATTER WHICH KIND)

-Sleep, as much as you need to.

-Learn to accept and let go of how you feel, realising it is temporary (I couldn't do it the first year, I was feeling very bad, but as soon as you start to feel better and better you trust the process more.PATIENCE)

-Eating somehow normal

-Reassurance is just withdrawal (full blood test count, hormones, MRI, EEG etc.)

 

Many people close to me told me that ive changed, in a very good way, I need to find myself again now, I cant wait to heal and be the best version of ME.

 

I believe in myself more and more again, I trust the process now, I feel REBORN.

 

It’s amazing how much my symptoms mirror yours, almost exactly. I’m nearly 21 also months off. I also noticed little improvements here and there. I’m glad your feeling a bit better. Hearing that keeps my spirits up.

2005-2015 sertaline, 2015 to November 2018 escatalopram. Used liquid titration to drop doses. By 0.5mg at first then drops as small as 0.01mg at end of taper. Jumped of at 0.02mg

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4 hours ago, Itzakadoozee said:

It’s amazing how much my symptoms mirror yours, almost exactly. I’m nearly 21 also months off. I also noticed little improvements here and there. I’m glad your feeling a bit better. Hearing that keeps my spirits up.

         Considering the fact that you've been on them for years, it might take a while until you see major improvements.

        For me, after being bedridden for one year, seeing small improvements didnt make me believe that i will truthly heal, but after seeing that i can stand now, joke with friends, go out without major problems its reassuring me that one day I will be close to myself or even myself.

         I'm sure you will see more improvements as time passes, meanwhile its hard to live like this.Wish you a fast healing.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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  • 2 months later...

Little update.

Month 20 of withdrawal 

Its been a looong ride.While im writing  this post, i'm im the car with my friends, going home, we went outside the city to visit a haunted castle, but it was closed.

What can I say about withdrawal, i wouldnt wish this to happen even to my worst enemy.Its just too much for one to handle alone, but yes, it gets better.It just take a looooong time.

Waves and windows every day, I still cant exercise which I miss sooooo much, but one day im sure I will.As a recovery percentage I would consider myself between 40-60%, sometimes even 70.Im in a wave right now, but when I remember that last year I wad bedridden, maan, it was soooo bad.Im out every day now, most of the day, even when I feel bad, sometimes symptoms are too much and I close myself in the room and just wait it out, but yes, I started from being bedridden so its a big improvement for me. Im confident that it will keep improving as it did ti now, it just takes sooo much time.

Im keeping in touch everyday with friends that I met on SA, its soo good to talk about this with someone that truthly understand what you are talking about.

I stopped visiting SA and carried on with my life, focusing on what I have left rather than what I lost in this s*it, but yes, IT GETS BETTER, SLOW AND FRUSTRATING.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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  • Administrator

Thanks for coming back and letting us know how you're doing, Kronos. This means a lot to the people who come here so worried.

 

Please pay it forward and let us know how you're doing from time to time.

 

Listen to your body, don't do stuff that might shake your nervous system up again and --stay safe!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Well done. I remember our phone call when you first started your journey. 

 

Keep on, keeping on! 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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Hi Kronos 18! It's very nice to speak with you here! 

I have been experiencing very similar side effects leg weakness, muscle twitching, weakness throughout my body, tightened jaw muscle pain.. these symptoms began I started lexapro, I was on it for five months and it's been already two months since my last dose, but I have been still suffering from them. Especially the leg weakness is the most annoying. I have done many clinical tests over the last 7 months, so I am sure that these are lexapro induced. 

 

My question is how long did it take for you to see/feel improvement in your physical symptoms (for example: weakness in legs and body)? 

 

Thank you very much! hope you will heal soon! 

on Lexapro from Jan 20, 2020 - July 4, 2020. Started from 5mg till end of February, 2020 and dosage increased up to 10 mg and I was on 10 mg till end of May and from June, 2020, I tapered the dosage down to 7.5mg/5mg/2.5mg/0 in June. 

 

I also took  5 pills of Alprozolam from time to time for experimental purpose - whether the physical symptoms I was going through was illness or drug induced symptoms.  when I took alprozolam, most of the physical symptoms subdued.  

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On 9/1/2020 at 2:57 AM, Altostrata said:

Thanks for coming back and letting us know how you're doing, Kronos. This means a lot to the people who come here so worried.

 

Please pay it forward and let us know how you're doing from time to time.

 

Listen to your body, don't do stuff that might shake your nervous system up again and --stay safe!

At any time Alto , this website helped me so much to understand what is happening to me and how to adjust to the situation.I cant wait to write my success story, I have so much to say.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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On 9/1/2020 at 8:44 AM, Leo1983 said:

Well done. I remember our phone call when you first started your journey. 

 

Keep on, keeping on! 

Hey man, long time no see.Yes, I do remember, I was bedridden in UK last year when I talked to you over the phone.Things changed, and we are getting better.One day this nightmare will end.

Take care friend.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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1 hour ago, matt6558 said:

Hi Kronos 18! It's very nice to speak with you here! 

I have been experiencing very similar side effects leg weakness, muscle twitching, weakness throughout my body, tightened jaw muscle pain.. these symptoms began I started lexapro, I was on it for five months and it's been already two months since my last dose, but I have been still suffering from them. Especially the leg weakness is the most annoying. I have done many clinical tests over the last 7 months, so I am sure that these are lexapro induced. 

 

My question is how long did it take for you to see/feel improvement in your physical symptoms (for example: weakness in legs and body)? 

 

Thank you very much! hope you will heal soon! 

Hi  friend, i'm sorry for what is happening to us and the rest of people on SA, we dont deserve this.

Well, first progress I saw was around month 11-12, small progress but it was something.Then it happened my setback which lasted 2-3 months, from CBD oil.

The truth of progress I saw around month 16 when I started going out more and more, feeling better and symptoms getting better.Now, it fluctuates, I am ok for couple hours then boom, vision problems, weakness, diziness, blurred vision, palpitations, faint feeling etc.

However I am in 2 withdrawals, benzo and lexapro, so you might see progress faster as you ve only been on antidepressants.

Keep going, keep busy, rest a lot and if you feel bad, just lay in bed.

 

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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  • 5 months later...

Hello.

 

      Long time no see.For me, it’s been 2 years and one month since SSRI and 2 years and 3 months since the benzos.

I hope you all are doing well.For me, it got a lot better, i still have minimal symptoms, exercise intolerance etc, but to say so, symptoms are like to 30% from where they were in the first 1.5 years, when i started noticing some changes.However, since couple days, i m fighting what i think is the worst episode of flu in years, with swollen lymp nodes, fever, bad episoded of feeling too hot or cold, muscle pain, worse headaches ever like stabbing feeling.

 

      I tried everything from tea in the morning which i vomited 5 mins after i drank it.Can t eat barely nothing, when i got fever i did put some cold towels on me which mostly didnt help me. I risked and took paracetamol (SINCE SSRI AND BENZO I DIDNT EVER TOUCH A MED####BIG NOOOOOOOOO#) which surpridingly helped me with no ramp up of symptoms, and it s getting the fever down to 37.5-38.2. 


      I am afraid it will get worse as i am having this problem since childhood and it didnt manifest soooo bad until this year. Any opinions on what should i try or do? I am desperate and i fear a lot of setting myself back very bad and going to acute.I don t want to try antibiotics as I am pretty sure it will bring me back to acute. Thanks.

**EDIT**
  I’m getting my right hand tattooed as a sleeve, I got couple tattoos since couple months and nothing happened since now, I got one on the neck, 2h, one on the fist, 3h, one on the right arm, 4h, and 2 sessions on the right arm 2h each, different days when i mention hours, at least one week break between them.

 

I never got such a problrm for neither one of it, I was just feeling worse for couple days after, nothing major, so many chances it has nothing to do with it, but in the end we never know.
   

 However it really feels like a flu, not a setback as I had couple setbacks so I can tell the difference, this is why I didn’t mention it during first time I posted.


However, no mental symptoms ramp up, only clasical physical things which are pretty common during a flu.


These things combined can sustain my opinion of not having a setback, rather a bad flu.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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Hi mate.

 

Good to hear your better. 

 

- Covid test??

- Withdrawal or no withdrawal you MUST  manage a fever. 

- If you have a infection you must treat the infection. 

- See a doctor?

 

 

Just because you have had a bad experience with a drug that affects your brain does not mean you can never take a treatment again in your life. 

 

Im guna give you an example. I have sat reading this site about stomach issues and gut issues. Dont take this PPI or that acid blocking drug. The pain got that bad i went to see a Dr. We arranged a camera test of my stomach before any medication. They found i had a stomach ulcer and a hernia. My throat is so inflammed and acid was present all the way up my throat. 

 

I had 2 options, sit in agony, trying apple cider vinegar and propping my pillow up, avoiding fizzy drinks and probably end up even more unwell. 

 

Or take a PPI for 4- 8 weeks to stop acid production and let everything heal up. Then look at lifestyle choices and propping my pillow up. 

 

I have taken them for 1 week and i feel bloody great!!! 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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3 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Hi mate.

 

Good to hear your better. 

 

- Covid test??

- Withdrawal or no withdrawal you MUST  manage a fever. 

- If you have a infection you must treat the infection. 

- See a doctor?

 

 

Just because you have had a bad experience with a drug that affects your brain does not mean you can never take a treatment again in your life. 

 

Im guna give you an example. I have sat reading this site about stomach issues and gut issues. Dont take this PPI or that acid blocking drug. The pain got that bad i went to see a Dr. We arranged a camera test of my stomach before any medication. They found i had a stomach ulcer and a hernia. My throat is so inflammed and acid was present all the way up my throat. 

 

I had 2 options, sit in agony, trying apple cider vinegar and propping my pillow up, avoiding fizzy drinks and probably end up even more unwell. 

 

Or take a PPI for 4- 8 weeks to stop acid production and let everything heal up. Then look at lifestyle choices and propping my pillow up. 

 

I have taken them for 1 week and i feel bloody great!!! 

Hi friend. 

I m sorry to hear you have such a problem, this is not a problem to play with.Ulcers and up very bad if not treated and im glad the pills are going well.

 

For me, the paracetamol calms up the fever so im ok with taking it until i get better.It s the second day im taking them, every 4 hours and it works great.However, since most people have bad reactions to antibiotics and i had a bad setback even from CBD, i can’t risk losing my whole progress again and ending up bedbound like I was the first 1.5 years.

 

It’s a huge risk i really can’t asume taking as i’m pretty sure of how it will end.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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Hi

 

All im pointing out is sometimes you need medication for certain things. 

 

Good luck mate.

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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4 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Hi

 

All im pointing out is sometimes you need medication for certain things. 

 

Good luck mate.

You are right friend, but in my case it is something that I must try first to heal it as natural as I can, really can’t take the risk of losing all of my progress honestly.I just can’t.

 

Being bedbound for so long, high anxiety and everything is not something to play with, I couldn t go to bathroom sometimes. The physical withdrawal is the worst experience I ever had in my life.

Hanging on things while walking, couldn’t walk more than few steps without feeling very very bad. 
See you friend.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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  • Administrator
Altostrata
8 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

I have sat reading this site about stomach issues and gut issues. Dont take this PPI or that acid blocking drug.

 

You must have misunderstood, @Leo1983. We routinely encourage people to get medical checkups for conditions that seem serious, longstanding, and not clearly withdrawal symptoms. Medical treatment may include PPIs or other drugs.

 

We suggest people may taper off PPIs when they're taking them for no good reason, they've been taking them a long time, or when they're taking a drug cocktail where PPIs might well be causing drug-drug conflicts and worse problems then they solve.

 

@Kronos18 it does sound to me like you have a bug of some kind. At this stage in your recovery from withdrawal, flu-like symptoms would be very unusual. Please seek medical care.

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 5 months later...
Kronos18

Hi guys.

Small update.

Everything was going fine, i was able to live a nearly normal life until i had couple night of partying hard with alcohol which led me to a bad wave.
Anyone can relate? I hate these waves.

Lorazepam -2 weeks-1 week 3 mg.4 days 2mg, 3 days 1mg. 13-27 November 2018

Lexapro -2 months-6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg 27 November 2018-27 January 2019

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Leo1983

Well i enjoyed myself for 3 weekends and now i am smashed against the waves.

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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Leo1983

The name of the game is to live like a super fit, mind powerful soul. Stay inside, eat plants and drink from the valley. 

 

No more parties or the life you once had. 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Leo1983

How are you now?

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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